John Dandoy

April 27, 2017

APU LRDS 533

In the real estate field, and arguably in most any sales field, successful

salespeople have an artistic mindset. They are creators or inventors; they are seeing

peoples needs and looking for new ways to fulfill or accommodate those needs with

a product that they have available to them. As they develop a successful track record

with the sales process, salespeople, real estate agents in particular, develop a strong

sense of self-importance. There is a consensus in the industry that many agents feel

that they are the only one who can do what they do the way they do it. This sense of

self-importance is in some way promulgated by the reality television shows in

todays media.

There are many agents, even those in my office, who embrace a hyper-

intense appreciation of self-importance. This personal appreciation leads to

behaviors that demonstrate an out of control ego and give the impression that these

people believe that the world revolves around them. For a mild example, one of my

agents knocked on my door last week. She was clearly agitated and frustrated, and

she asked if I had time to discuss a transaction she was working on with her. She

then proceeded to work herself up into a rage describing the service of the escrow

company the other agent had chosen for this transaction. She was personally

offended and felt it was her mission to make the escrow officer correct every little

insignificant detail she felt had not been attended to propertly. I sat there politely

listening, as she shouted all the things she had done to avoid the delays her

transaction was now facing.

 When she drew a breath to continue her diatribe, I asked her a simple

question, what is the end goal? She looked at me as if I were from another planet. I

quickly followed the question up with, I feel your frustration. I have been there

before with many files. At the end of the day, there are things we can control and

things we cant control. In this case we cant control what kind of service we are

getting from the escrow company, but we can control our clients expectations and to

some degree their experience moving forward. After a long pause, she said, youre

right. I responded, it is not about being right, it is about making sure we provide

the best experience possible for our client. I am proud of how committed you are to

this process, I just want you to focus your energy on the end result and not things

you see as problems. Defused, she agreed, and left my office.

It is in these instances I am reminded of Rosamund Stone Zander and

Benjamin Zanders Rule Number Six: Two Prime ministers were sitting in a room

discussing affairs of state. Suddenly a man bursts in, apoplectic with fury, shouting

and stamping and banging his fist on the desk. The resident prime minister

admonishes him: Peter, he says, kindly remember Rule Number 6, whereupon Peter

is instantly restored to complete calm, apologizes, and withdraws. The politicians

return to their conversation, only to be interrupted yet again twenty minutes later by

an hysterical woman gesticulating wildly, her hair flying. Again the intruder is greeted

with the words: Marie, please remember Rule Number 6. Complete calm descends

once more, and she too withdraws with a bow and an apology. When the scene is

repeated for a third time, the visiting prime minister addresses his colleague: My dear

friend, Ive seen many things in my life, but never anything as remarkable as
this. Would you be willing to share with me the secret of this Rule Number 6? Very

simple, replies the resident prime minister. Rule Number 6 is Dont take yourself so

damn seriously.' Ah, says his visitor, that is a fine rule. After a moment of

pondering, he inquires, And what, may I ask, are the other rules? There arent

any.

I am considering utilizing this story in my next office meeting. My concern is

that with passionate artistic personalities, this story needs to be delivered in a way

that causes the listener to hear the meaning and not just the words. I will definitely

need to finesse the delivery. However, if delivered properly, this story could be an

effective vehicle for a paradigm shift of attitude for some of my agents. This story

could remind them, while our work is serious, we dont need to take ourselves so

seriously. This devise could also reinforce the recognition that there are things that

are out of our control, we are fallible, and we need to remember to laugh, even at

ourselves at times.