Running head: DEAR CC LETTER

Dear Brother

Relationship Advice Letter Response

Interpersonal Communications 270

Veronica Watkins

Bryant University- Professor Berkos

DEAR CC LETTER 2

Abstract

The purpose of this letter is to demonstrate the importance of social support and family

communication to better interpersonal relationships.

DEAR CC LETTER 3

Dear Brother,

I understand your concerns about your sister and I am pleased to offer you the best advice

I can think of. Since I am also a freshman girl in college I can relate to your sisters problems and

I understand where she is coming from. Interpersonal problems that arise in your letter seemed to

focus around the support. There are several different aspects to this topic that can greatly

influence youre situation. Transitioning from high school to college is a big step in a persons

life and can be extremely difficult in certain cases. Moving away from home can cause issues

with communication between family members. Personally, I struggled in the beginning of my

first semester adjusting to life on my own and being apart from my family. Being there for your

sister and allowing her to know you care can go a long way. Providing support for your sister can

help her adjustment into this new lifestyle.

Communication within a family is insanely important. Closed, negative communication

can become an issue when one child moves away from home. The study from The Journal of

Family Communication by Victoria O. Orrego and Jose Rodriguez speaks about the issues that

arise in family communication when a student goes away to school. The article states the effects

of a protective family communication pattern on college students adjustment is edited by the

students level of conflictual independence; that is, students who perceive their parents using the

protective communication style reported having low levels of conflictual independence from

their parents and being less adjusted to college (Orrego, Rodriguez, 2001). Meaning that the

way a student interacted at home can influence their lifestyle at school and their communication

patterns. In the letter you explained that your sister talks to your parents about her issues at

school but they want you try and help her. I understand where you are coming from when you

explain that you want to help but feel some problems need to be handled on her own. However, I
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do think you should do your best to reach out to her and help her overcome some of the

challenges she is facing during her freshman year.

Many college freshmen feel that living with someone else in a small dorm room is very

difficult. From my own personal experience I can say that is true. I do not get along with my

roommate and it seems to make so many other things harder. Going back to your room to relax

can now become stressful if you dont want to be around the other person that lives in your

room. Your sister did the right thing by moving out for the second semester and trying to turn

things around for the better. I think its nice that you offered to take her out to dinner but you

have to follow through. Offering to do something and actually doing it are two different things.

Seeing someone like a close family member could help her feel more comfortable in her new

environment.

In your letter you explained how you tried to talk to your sister over the phone and

through text, even in person but you werent getting much back. This is where self-disclosure

comes into play. Opening up yourself can make your sister open up more to you. If you tell her a

problem you are having she will feel more comfortable to express her own issues she is having at

school. Giving her some back and forth will help the conversation become more open. She will

share more once she understands she is not the only person who is struggling. Your parents

probably are having the same problem where they are not disclosing anything about themselves

therefore she is not disclosing much about herself. When I feel like I want to open up

information about myself it helps when the person I am turning to also opens up about

themselves. Therefore this can ultimately enhance your communication level and quality in your

relationship.
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Interpersonal communication explains different types of support one can provide

depending on the situation: esteem, informational, tangible, network, and emotional. Esteem

means to support her self-esteem and make her feel good about herself, boosting her self-worth,

and making her feel valued. Informational support relates to giving specific advice, including

facts and information that might help someone solve a problem as well as making her realize she

is not alone. Tangible support meaning taking her out to dinner and following through with your

actions instead of just saying you will do something. Emotionally be there for her not to solve

her problems but just to listen and be supportive (Guerrero, Andersen, Afifi 2014). Network

support is most important and relevant in this situation. By allowing her to put herself out there

more can help her expand her life at school and improve it for the better. She can join clubs, try

new organizations and also put herself out there by meeting new people. Even getting a job on

campus can open her up to a whole new scope of people. Widening the variety of people she

knows can make it easier to live on a campus if more faces are friendly.

The article from the Communication and Media database by Walter R. Zakahi and

Felecia R. Jordan titled Social Adjustment to College: Social Network Development Among

College Students relates back to the letter you wrote to me. The article explains a study that

proves the average college student become more comfortable as the years go on. Meaning that

juniors and seniors feel happier and more at home away at school compared to freshman and

sophomores. The study examines the relationship between communication apprehension and

the size of the social networks of college students twice during their first semester of school and

again in their fourth semester of school (Zakahi, Jordan, 1993). As students move through their

college years they develop and expand their social network by joining more organizations and

getting more involved. This applies to your sister because it is something that can help her. If she
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expands her horizon at school by getting more involved in her campus community she might be

happier there. Deciding to stay on campus is a big decision but this study can help prove to her

that things do get better and sometimes it requires patience.

Immediacy behaviors are known as actions that signal warmth, communicate availability,

decrease psychological or physical distance, and promote involvement between people

(Guerrero, Andersen, Afifi 2014). This concept can apply to handling your sisters situation

because you must be there to comfort her. I understand that you feel she must handle certain

things on her own and she is an adult, however, when someone is in need its crucial for them to

know people care. Communicate openly with her and share your own personal crises with her so

she knows she isnt the only one who isnt perfect. Disclosing about yourself will make her open

up. I struggled a lot in the beginning of my freshman year, I didnt get along with my roommate

and I was very homesick. I reached out to my brother who goes to Boston University because he

is closer than my parents in New York. He told me he cared and I could visit him whenever I

was upset. I took him up on it and went to see him a few times throughout the semester.

Knowing he was there for me even if I wasnt physically with him made me feel more secure in

my new environment. Luckily you go to school close to your sister so letting her know she can

come see you or talk to you can help a great deal.

Overall I can personally relate to your sisters problem and I understand where she is

coming from. Despite the fact that you think she is an adult and can handle this on her own I

strongly suggest letting her know how much you care. Make a conscience effort to check on her.

I would also highly recommend visiting her, seeing a familiar face can go a long way and make

her a little more comfortable even if its not often. If you take the advice Im giving you I am
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confident that things will improve not only for your sister at school but for the relationship you

two share.
DEAR CC LETTER 8

References

Orrego, V. O., & Rodriguez, J. (2001). Family Communication Patterns and College

Adjustment: The Effects of Communication and Conflictual Independence on College

Students. Journal Of Family Communication, 1(3), 175-189.

Zakahi, W. R., Felecia F., J., & Christophel, D. (1993). Social Adjustment to College:

Communication Apprehension and Social Network Development Among College

Students. Communication Research Reports, 10(1), 39-46.

Guerrero, L., Andersen, P., Afifi, W. (2014) Close Encounters. Los Angeles: SAGE Publications