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You Must Tell Them

I love you

for Vibraphone, Violin, and Electronics

Broderick Lemke

Dedicated to Cindy Still-Balster

Introduction

You Must Tell Them I Love You was written in reflection upon my
mothers stay in the hospital during my sophomore year of
college. This piece is semi-programmatic, in that it attempts to
depict a specific day that I visited my mother while she was in
the hospital, as well as capture my emotions at that moment. She
was in the hospital because she had trouble breathing and was
diagnosed with pneumonia, as well as leukemia. On the day of my
visit, she had been place into a medically induced coma because
she was unable to breathe and was having several other issues.
She was intubated, and a machine was breathing for her. As I
stood in the room with her, my step-father and my boyfriend, I
had to disassociate with what was going on. Sounds of breathing
and heart monitors are used in the electronic backing track, but
are distorted in attempt to acknowledge their ever-continuous
presence, while creating a more contemplative and inward
portrayal of emotions as I struggled with what was happening.
Several times while I was in the room speaking to my mother, she
attempted to wake up from the medically induced coma, and later
told me it was because she heard me and wanted to let me know
that she loved me. Each time, however, instead of waking up and
telling me, she would begin to choke on the tube shoved down her
throat and panic. Several times that day she had to be put back
into a coma because she would get too excited trying to wake up
and started to accidently hurt herself by stressing the tube in
her throat and moving her body around in her hospital gurney.
This quickening of her heart beat as she panicked, and a gagging
sound can be heard during the accelerations in the electronic
track. My anxiety would take over during her attempts at waking
up, and one of the only things that kept me sane was my
boyfriends comfort after each of these moments. It would take a
while of him reassuring me, combined with a bit of silence
afterwards before Id once again become entranced in my emotional
contemplative thoughts. The harp that plays as the pieces slows
represents this conversation with my boyfriend, followed by a
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You Must Tell Them I Love You Broderick Lemke
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silence in which only the heart monitor is present. A release

would only come once I would hear the machine breathing for my
mother again. This cycle continues three times during the piece,
and at the end the work fades with constant assurance from my
boyfriend on the way home. The piece finishes with a recording of
my mother saying I Love You three times, each time becoming
less distorted. It is a reminder that even in this event, she
wanted me to know her love for me. She felt that it was so
important to say that, that she was afraid she might die without
telling me that a final time, she needed me to hear those words.

How to Read the Score

The score was designed in an effort to aid the performers in the

interpretation of the emotions in the piece, while guiding a
largely improvised performance. This is achieved by mixing some
traditional notation elements with a heart monitor. There are
certain restrictions in regards to style, harmonic content and
when to play that are discussed below, but other material on the
score is open to interpretation. A lot of the numerical data
relates to either the pitch classes of the harmonies to be used,
or relates to the specific event of my mother being in the
hospital. These details serve as constant reminders of the little
ways in which a person can be reminded of the impermanence of
life, little dates that could stick with the performer for the
remainder of their life. The largest section of the score is the
screen of the heart monitor which has four Staves that
contain several ideas for the performers to build off of during
the performance if they need inspiration. Beneath that is a
single line graph with text that provides a visual representation
of the form of the piece. The rest of the information on the
score is a visual reminder of what this piece is about, and what
mindset the performers should be in.

Performance Considerations

During this piece, the performers will be asked to improvise in

various styles, corresponding with the narrative. Throughout the
work the performers should be in constant communication with each
other and the electronic track. This should be a work of
collaboration in which the performers take in the cues from their
environment, process them, an output their own emotional
expression in response. They are invited to imagine times in
which their loved ones have been in the hospital and the myriad
of emotions that it elicits.

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One unifying aspect of the piece is the use of the pitch

collection [E b, F, G b, A, B b, C]. The performers MUST stick to
these six pitches throughout the work, and should spend time
exploring the relationships between various groupings of the
notes. For example, there are two minor seconds that can both be
used during sharp dissonant sections, but consonant collections
of F major (F dominant 7 as well), and E b m mi inor are also possible
from this set. By exploring the harmonic palette, performers can
find motives and harmonies that assist in portraying various
moods that are called for in the piece.
One final consideration before the discussion of form relates to
the electronics. Performers should take time to listen to the
electronic track while practicing. Before the performance, the
performers should agree upon a balance between the electronics
and the acoustic sound in the performance space. In doing so,
they should ensure that the deep bass notes should be noticeable
to the audience and themselves.

Form
The piece is separated into four sections, each separated by an
acceleration and deceleration. The first section (A) opens with
the heart rate monitor, followed by the breathing, some soft
strings and deep bass. The performers should play a gentle and
sustained style during this point. Wide open harmonies, rich low
tones, slow arpeggios, and even some slow motor on vibraphone
fit. This should be a somber mood, with a slight hint at hope. A
reminder of the style of each section is also listed on the score
in the formal diagram. The performers should continue their
performance through the acceleration, building slightly in
intensity, and as the harp comes in they must finish their
current idea. The live instruments should fade before the harp
finishes playing. There should be silence from both performers at
this point until after the first breath comes back in, signaling
the start of the second section (B).
Section B follows a similar form to section A, however it is
slightly shorter. In this section the live performance should
move to a strained high timbre. This can be achieved through
using harmonics on the violin, as well as bowing the vibes. The
ideal texture for this section is for both performers to bow
together, communicating a start to each note and bowing for the
same amount of time. They should not communicate which notes to
play, just when to play them and react to the tones that they
hear when choosing the next tone. The motor may be on for the
vibraphone if the performer wishes. The performers may grow in

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intensity during the acceleration, splitting apart from each

other and playing separately, as well as increasing in dynamics.
Again, the section should fade by the time the harp finishes and
a silence should precede the breath that begins the third section
(C).
Section C should represent anger and a sense of the performer
trying to gain some form of power of the situation. The parts
should be very loud, and in reaction to the other performer and
the recording. The vibraphone player can play without depressing
the pedal, as well as depressing the pedal while playing tone
clusters on a high motor speed and adjusting the motor speed as
desired. The violinist should make use of any extended techniques
they wish as long as the pitches are constrained to the harmonic
palette specified above. As with the previous two section, the
parts should finish by the time the harp finishes, and wait for
the final section (D) to begin with the breath playing in the
recording.
Section D can be played in a variety of ways, and should be
reflective of the piece as a whole. A variety of techniques can
be used, in an attempt to understand and rationalize what has
gone on. There should be an almost meditative effect, a
realization of the impermanence of life and fear that comes from
a situation where a love one is close to death. Where does one go
once theyve moved past all the other emotions of anger,
depression and fear? This section should bring an acceptance by
the end. With the final harp line, the performers should finish
their ideas before moving to sustaining the lowest F on their
instrument. They should sustain this quietly through the three
statements of I Love You, letting it fade to nothing after the
final utterance.

Copyright 2017
You Must Tell Them I Love You Broderick Lemke