You are on page 1of 6

Adam Lyons wrote a formula that is pretty much the mathematical way of attracting a woman:

(C-R)+Q+SE = A
(Comfort Breaking Rapport) + Qualification + Sexual Escalation = Attraction

To explain this briefly think about every interaction as one long comfortable conversation. By that I mean talking to
the girl about anything and everything, shooting the shit, and generally making her comfortable being around you.
Within this interaction you want to break rapport with the woman, qualifier her, and sexually escalate -- that's it.

First, I will give you the definition of "rapport" so you can understand what it means to break it.

rapport: a relationship of mutual understanding or trust and agreement between people.

Breaking rapport is anything that causes a little bit of tension or push-pull between you and your target. They
aren't meant to permanently break a connection between the two of you but instead temporarily cause a rift between
each other. Adam Lyons made a great list called the 6 Ways to Break Rapport and they are as follows:

1. Physical (kino [kino is a word that means any physical touching...short for kinesthetics] with high fives, pushing
her playfully, hugs)
2. Teasing (pretty obvious...ragging on her, calling her shorty)
3. Disqualification (telling her why you guys wouldn't work out -- I'll explain this one in more detail with you in
4. Disagreement (not always agreeing with what she says, having your own opinion)
5. Non-Supplication (not giving into things like buying her drinks and showing that you have standards/a strong
6. Sexual (physical sexual escalation, sexual innuendos)

Qualification is generally a huge aspect of every system out there and most of the time the most important thing in
an interaction. The simple way to explain qualification is you ask her a question about herself (personality,
likes/dislikes, interests, etc) to get her invested in the conversation and invested into you.

It also reverses the role that men are always in where the woman is the one seeing if we live up to their standards.
By qualifying her you are showing her you have strong standards and are screening her to see if she's good enough
for you -- it makes her chase you. You also show that you are interested in things other than her physical looks so
that she will feel you have become genuinely attracted to her. All the while this builds attraction and makes her want
to prove herself to you. There are many other benefits of qualification that I could go into but you can see just from
this how qualification is so damn IMPORTANT.

Can you get success without qualification? Yes. You can get success by ideally doing nothing and the woman throws
herself at you -- it's how many guys get lucky in life. But trust me when I say that you need to learn qualification
deeply and utilize it in your interactions. It will make your attraction much stronger, help your mindset of being
valuable, make her invest more, get you less flakes (when a girl doesn't respond/call back), and so much more. Once
I really began to understand qualification my game improved dramatically and my sets (interactions) hooked much

Sexual Escalation means to progress the conversation into a more sexual way. This is what seperates guys from
getting into "the friends zone" and getting into her pants. This can be done a number of ways including touching
(high fives, hugs, kissing, rubbing her back, etc...although in day time you tone it down much more than night),
sexual innuendos, sexual teasing, talking about sexual topics, etc. There are tons of ways to do this but you have to
introduce sexuality into the conversation to ever have a chance with sleeping with the girl.

If you have more questions, I will be happy to follow up and explain deeper. Once you realize those 4 things make
up the foundation of pretty much any pickup, your game will skyrocket. Now obviously this isn't the only method, or
exact way every pickup will go, but is an amazing foundation to work from. Naturals have been picking up women
since the dawn of time without canned material or routines and you can do it too.

Opening a set, hooking, and getting their contact details with upwards of 100% success rate is possible. The reason
this is possible is because I learned how to turn it into a hard skill. Hard skills are something you can learn to do,
repeat the sequence of steps, and have success nearly every time. Soft skills are more like an art where you learn
the structure, practice it, and every time you finish you'll have a slightly different outcome. Think painting a picture.
Some will be better than others, some will be complete shit, and others will be a work of art. That is a soft skill.
Anyways..opening, hooking the set, and closing is a hard skill following Adam's sequencing. Now that being said, that
doesn't mean you'll have attraction or the number won't flake. That's where non-verbals, preselection, and all the
other aspects of game and attraction comes into play. More on that later. For now I just want to cover the
sequencing I spoke of a moment ago as this is all we did on the first night of the bootcamp.

1. Mere Exposure
2. Opening Lines
3. Trigger a smile
4. Approach
5. Qualifying Statements
6. Disqualifying Others
7. Ask an Opinion
8. Lock In!

One of the cardinal rules of pickup, at least with indirect game, is to never make it feel or seem like you're hitting on
them. The two main things that give away your intentions is poor delivery and shoddy body language. If you're
delivery is off at best you'll look like you're hitting on her, possibly try-hard, and at worst just plain creepy. Just keep
that in the back of you mind when you're out there since you don't want to give the impression you're hitting on
them (direct game is the exception). You want it to feel like you're just two people having a peasant chat or small
talk, bullshitting as some call it, and not actually an attempted pickup. So many guys telegraph way too much
interest and their intent is clear as day. So how do you hit on them without hitting on them?

Pre-open the set. When you first hit the venue do what is known as pre-opening. This is when you do a brief open,
exchange names, and leave them on a high note. Doing so should last no more than 5 20 seconds. You're in, out,
and gone. This really trips them up because you're actually walking up to them, talking to them (only guys that hit on
them do this, right?), but then you leave! That can't be right? If you're hitting on them why did you just walk off?
You know what they're thinking, Hmm... maybe he's not actually hitting on me after all. If they automatically
assume you're hitting on them, which most will, especially during night game, this will really throw them off guard.
That's how indirect game should operate. However, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Before you can walk away
you first must open them. There are several different types of openers and the 3 I want to focus on are Functional,
Compliment, and Observational (aka Situational) openers:
* Functional openers are the easiest and most socially acceptable openers to use. However, they're the toughest to
transition from. An example of a Functional opener is Do you have the time? I think my watch is running slow., Do
you know if there are any good specials here tonight? I'm getting tired of the same old xyz., Do you know where
the bathrooms are? I can't find them anywhere and my friend is about to make a mess! and so on.

* Compliment openers are just as they sound. You give a compliment, exchange names, and you're gone. An
example of this would be, That's a great dress. I like how it makes you stand out from the crowd.

* Observational openers are just as they sound. You're commenting on the environment around you and are the
most powerful as it creates a commonality. As I mentioned above you don't want to give the impression of hitting on
them, and observational openers have a tendency to do that as they can come across as try-hard with bad delivery.
Instead of talking to the HB about it, talk about whatever you're observing to your wing. Then you bring in the HB.
Now because you were already discussing it with your wing it's not hitting on them, but just conversing with
someone else nearby about that cool or strange widget you just noticed. An example would be <wing> check that
out! Look at that picture and this one over here. (Said to the HB...) Do you see that? They're all the same pictures,
they're just different color! I wonder how many people even notice that? Weird, huh?
There are three main rules when doing a pre-opener:
1. Justify why you're talking to them. Those familiar with Neil Strauss' style of game would call this rooting the
opener. Same idea really. If you look at the example's I gave for each opener they all have a justifying statement

2. Always exchange names and do a handshake if able.

3. Tell them it was nice meeting them and/or to have a good day/night, then eject politely.

Once you've done 15-20 minutes of pre-opening in the venue your mere exposure effect should be climbing. And I
do want to say that pre-opening is not the same as warm-up sets. While warm-up sets can raise your mere exposure
effect, they're not the same since pre-opening keeps it brief and it's not an extended duration conversation. Anyway,
after that short time of pre-opening now it's time to start reopening earlier sets. Scan the venue for women you've
pre-opened and use non-verbal communication to get them to smile. I've found almost 100% of the women I've pre-
opened will smile when doing this. Congratulations, when they smile at you they've just given you an approach
invitation! Yes fellas, it's that simple. What do you do when they give you that approach invitation? It's simple...
you lock eye contact, keep smiling, and go straight in.

When reopening the set after the pre-open just be friendly, qualify the HB's earlier behavior, and then disqualify the
rest of the venue. These are actually two separate skills, so play around with different types of qualifiers and
disqualifiers. Also, you can actually roll them together and mix them into your opening statement as well. A very
basic version of this which I used during the bootcamp is, Hi <name>, I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but
you were super polite/friendly. I think that's awesome. Between you and me most people here are stuck up. Now
the set will hook because you've just framed her as good, everyone else as bad, and she'll naturally
want to fulfill that social expectation, at least in the short term. Presto! The set just hooked! Give another
qualifying statement if you feel it's necessary and then launch into your opinion opener of choice, hopefully
something not community and real from your life. An example of my follow-on qualifying statement is, Hey, you
seem really friendly. I just wanted to ask you a quick question.... and then I would launch into my opinion opener.

Locking In
Locking in is such an important piece of the puzzle, but yet so many forget to do it, or worse they're afraid to! It's
much easier to just take the power position and accept that moment of awkwardness than stand in a bad spot for 10
minutes gradually working your way over while your investment raises and hers stays low. A moment of
awkwardness is quickly forgotten whereas an extended period of being locked out of the set essentially will lower
their perception of you for a long time to come. Just move against the wall, put your foot up, and chill back. Let
them face you and you face out away from them. This is really one of the best positions to be in. I found there are
lots of little tricks you can do with body language to adjust investment levels in the set.

Investment! Investment! Investment!

In The Blueprint Tyler speaks about Reactivity, that the person who reacts more is the more attracted of the two
individuals. This is because the person who is reacting more is more invested. If there is any simple way of saying
what attraction boils down to its Investment. The goal of every interaction should be to cultivate investment into you
by the other person as much as possible. The more invested, the more theyll become attracted and attached to the
outcome. In RSD speak this means being the least reactive person. However, being the least reactive is only half the
equation. Adam finished the puzzle by adding the second half, which is to get them to investing in you.

When talking to a woman dont face her. Just lean back and let her carry as much of the conversation as possible.
Essentially you want to speak and interact the least amount you can get away with. No more are the
days of the man carrying 90% of the conversation from the start! Just get things going, sit back, and enjoy
the ride as they talk themselves into being attracted to you by investing!

Being A Good Conversationalist

After youve opened the girl, let her invest for a while, then youll want to move things forward to a close of some
sort. If for some reason you cannot bounce or instant-date on the spot, youll want to get her contact details. The
method by which you do so is just as important as how you open and get her invested if you wish to see her again.

First youll want to identify commonalities. Stretch the conversation out through past & future projections. Create a
link in her mind using memories, imaginary as they are. Another method of identifying commonalities is branching
out off of statements. Nearly every statement has two topics (or more). Natural conversation isnt questions followed
by answers, its mostly statements spun off into new directions. This is the gift of gab. The baseline secret of
doing this is to follow this simple rule:

Relate your experiences back to her using THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS .

When telling a story don't just spit out a bunch of facts of events and what happened. Tell her what was running
through your head and what you were feeling when the event occurred. Use analogies as well for things that women
might be more familiar with (shopping & movies are huge).

Bad conversation:
My TV broke last weekend during the game so picked up a new one Monday after work and of course Best Buy
sucked as usual.

Good conversation:
I was watching TV last weekend and just as my favorite team was making the last drive to tie the game it broke.
Just...poof. Nothing. I was soooo frustrated. Have you ever been watching something you were so into and then
your power or cable go out and you miss a really important part? Doesn't that suck? Worst still is when I went to
Best Buy the sales people were no help. Ever been shopping and everyone sorta just ignores you? Hellooo! I'm right
hear people! Talk about frustrating. You know what I mean? I just kept thinking to myself 'I wonder what would
happen if I just made up some popcorn in the appliances section and kicked off my shoes and lounged on the couch
and popped a movie into the display setup they have?' That would kick ass and you KNOW they'd come running to
see what's up.

Get the idea? Thoughts, emotions, and use what I call "checking in" to see if they're following along:

You know what I mean...

Have you ever...

You want them nodding their head, or even better piggybacking on your conversation thread and injecting their own
stories as they relate to yours. A good way of getting them invested in the conversation is vertical conversation.
Horizontal is the surface stuff, basic AFC questions. Vertical digs deeper. Check-ins for keeping the vertical
conversations going are:

What was that like?


As I mentioned before, another key aspect to remember is to use past & future projections. Try and steer topics
away from the present tense. The fastest way to have a womans else glaze over is to talk about facts and boring
detail, which is exactly what happens when you are talking in the present tense. One of the best ways to build a
connection is to use future projections. The reason they work so well is they build memories in her mind as shes
imagining the journey youre describing. As you speak of your hopes & dreams two powerful things are taking place:
1. Women are drawn to ambition like moths to a flame.
2. Talking in past or future tense builds memories and gives the two of you a connection, imaginary
that it may be.

Its amazing how simple it is finding commonalities while painting the rich canvas of your life. That being said, the
one thing you don't want to talk about if you can help it is the here and now.
Again, present tense = boring. The way our brains work, particularly the female's, is when you speak in the
present tense they just get bored. I do this, that, blah blah blah......and their eyes gloss over. Think about the last
time some guy was talking about he does. At some point he ends up sounding like a braggart, or worse you find
yourself nodding off. Don't be that guy! This is sticking to topics such as what you want to do in the future is a good

A) They pay more attention.

B) YOU are more excited when talking about fun stuff and what we want to do with your life, so it's a win-win due to
how it draws them in.
C) Describing future events (or past) allows them to go on an imaginary journey through your lives together. This
helps build a sense of connection making mental links between the two of you.

Political Policies

Considering most politicians have both good and bad points and that no matter how many parties the UK actually
has, its pretty fair to assume that almost anybody you meet is either Liberal or Conservative. This gives you less
than a 50% chance of meeting someone with the same political view as you. Either way, its a topical double-edged
sword. If they are of an opposing party theyre going to argue with you and disagree with your general views on a
number of topics. If they agree with you the conversation is dead anyway. Politics is a no-no.

Religious Riots

In a similar vein to politics, religion is either something you agree on or something that could start a pretty unfriendly
conversation. Bearing in mind that more wars have been fought over religion than politics its a fair conclusion to
assume that this topic should probably be avoided more than the previous. Considering most religion comes down to
belief all youre really arguing about is who has the better invisible friend. This can be a very touchy subject and is
really one to avoid.

Equality Everywhere

Whether you do go out of your way to promote equal rights across the planet or your idea of helping others is to
simply avoid shouting at the charity workers that accost you to help out in struggling nations when you see them in
the street, you are likely to find that most people you meet are as unwilling to speak to you about the worlds
problems as they are unwilling to listen to the charity collectors speeches.

Work Worries

No matter how bad your job is or how much your boss sucks and micro-manages everything you do, try to resist the
urge to tell every sympathetic ear the ins and outs of your worries. The truth is, most people are also tired of
working every day and the last thing they want is to sit and listen to your stories about how bad your day was. Youll
only succeed in boring them with situations they really couldnt care about. The only thing possibly worse than this to
bring up in good conversation is how much you love your job, as all youll end up doing is rubbing their own
miserable job in their faces.

Insulting Innocents

No one likes to sit and listen to people criticizing others. It only paints a really bad picture of the person doing the
insulting. They probably dont know the person in question, which only makes them wonder if they really are as bad
as you tell them they are. If they do happen to know the person in question they only begin wondering if you talk
about others behind their back as well. If youre going to spend time talking about others try to make it positive at
least that way people assume you only hang around cool and interesting people.
Personal Problems

As interesting as your warts may be to yourself, its a pretty safe bet that whoever youre talking to is unlikely to find
it a remarkably interesting conversation. Personal worries are unfortunately something that tends to dwell deeply on
our minds and, although the old logic of a problem shared is a problem halved, you have to understand that the half
you give away gets given to the other person who then has to dwell on it, worry about it and even worse visualise
the problem for themselves.
As great as our parents may have been about guiding our conversations the fact is that sooner or later we have to
fend for ourselves. Without being told why certain topics are off limits we often make the mistake of using them
anyway to disastrous effect. However, our elders werent correct on every topic. You may have been told to avoid
the topics of sex and drugs whilst growing up due to them both being taboo. With modern society being what it is
these are not only no longer awkward subjects but actually topics that people can relate to.
The basics of understanding good conversation is to avoid any topic that will leave someone else feeling awkward or
which may give them reason to disagree with you. Of course this may not lead to extremely riveting discussions but
it will give you polite dinner conversation that wont completely destroy the mood at the table. Obviously these are
just guidelines. The truth is that topics fade in and out of being taboo and with sex and drugs now being viewed as
risqu but acceptable, who knows? At some point it may become acceptable to talk about your personal hygiene
issues over dinner. But for now its probably best to stick to Girls Alouds latest music video.