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Estel Boix Noguer

Professor Doutherd
English 5M
12th, November 2017

Research paper: Revision Summary

This revision summary gathers all the changes done in my first research outline
to build this second draft. The outline was created using the P.I.E format, which has
helped me to organize my paper successfully (something I have had problems this;
fortunately, I am feeling I am doing some improvements). Furthermore, the corrections
and comments from my peers have also helped me to make this paper better.
The comments of my peers helped me because some sentences sound confusing
in my first outline. Thanks to them, I rewrite some parts, as well as correcting some
grammar mistakes and punctuation errors. I had some issues with the MLA format
citation, but fortunately I could solve them. The peer review also encouraged me
because of the nice comments I have received, and they motivated in trying to do this
assignment as well as possible. What has also helped me is going to the writing center
for help. There, the MLA format was revised, as well as the construction of the
introduction: I am working on writing better introductions in every task, because
sometimes I write too details, and it ends up with a long, first, paragraph. Also, the
writing center also helped me in some grammar issues.
I hope this paper reflects well my thesis of why personal writing style should be
as important as the detached style in college years.
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Estel Boix Noguer

Professor Doutherd
English 5M
16th, November 2017

How to give voice to students

Learning how to write properly is one of the most valuable lessons a person can
achieve. Moreover, the years of learning never stop: as Graham Greene declared in the
article All writing is Autobiographical, writers gather experience during the first twenty
years of education; the rest is observation (67). As students start college, they often
have to erase every other kind of writing style learnt to give space to the academic,
detached style. This type of writing seems professional and more mature, so students are
taught that is the one required for the courses. Fortunately, some authors defend that the
personal writing we learned during our lives should not disappear. An example is Emily
Strasser in Writing that Matters, who asserts that writing should be more than
sophisticated sentence structure and nuanced word choice (200). A reflection about the
importance of personal writing has to be considered. Remembering when we started to
write, as well as our first writings and our evolution as writers is something important
during our college studies too. That being said, people become familiarized with writing
by using a personal style, which becomes less used as the years goes by in someones
education. For this reason, despite the importance given to detached writing style,
personal writing should be considered just as important in college writing.

In college, it is believed that personal writing style has less importance than
detached style. Nevertheless, in the majors related with Arts and Letters, personal
writing can be used more frequently without affecting the writings quality. As the
CSUS Handbook: Writing and Researching in Arts and Humanities states, the theories
and the content from this field are more subjective than other studies, such as science or
engineering (138). As a consequence, Arts and Humanities genres tend to have a
personal and engaging style because of their less prescriptive language. When the main
themes of focus are the human experiences or ideas, personal writing does not detract
from the value of the content.
Personal writing should be taught more by professors in the higher years of
education, instead of leaving it by one side during the college studies. According to
Strasser, teachers and professors should encourage students to write about their life and
own experiences (200). In the same article, Strasser suggests teachers that the two styles
of writing should work together (201). During studies, detached writing is more used,
and required for the majority of professors. An example is avoiding the use of personal
pronouns in order to keep the professional identity from the student. Nevertheless, it
should not be a problem if the student has difficulties to use detached writing style. It
would be also positive to teach assignments related with personal writing, because it
helps students to explain their experiences and ideas more easily in most of cases.
Despite some students think so, writing in detached style does not make a paper
better. As seen in the study carried out by Ann M. Penrose and Cheryl Geiser, lack of
authority is sometimes reflected with an incorrect use of detached style and creates
confusion (11). During this study, a personal and simple explanation written by a
doctorate student shows a complete authority inside the conversation of ethics. On the
other hand, Strasser states that students abilities to construct complicated grammatical
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structures will not be put to meaningful purposes (200). The importance given to the
academic writing is present in most of courses. However, its use does not mean a
correct use of the style and a coherent work. In most of the circumstances, personal
writing explains the topic of discussion better. Students must learn that an easier
explanation of their ideas is more adequate and successful than a complicated, nonsense
writing.
Personal writing also can be used when it is time to create drafts, even if they
have to be in a more academic style. Anne Lamott states on the writing Shitty First
Drafts that Just get it all down in paper, because there may be something great in those
six crazy pages that you would never have gotten to by more rational, grown-up
means(528). Lamott reflects how hard it can be to find the right words and sentences in
most of the time, even more if the writing has to be academic. Creating a first draft
directly by using a complicated writing style is not adequate. Submitting the very first
draft as a final draft will not guide the writer to success. It takes a lot of revisions and
edits in order to produce a well written paper. It is better to write down the ideas by
using the most familiarized, personal style for achieving a better reflection of the themes
that are going to be discussed in the paper.
Moreover, students have to be able to dominate (synonym) every style of
writing. In the article A Stranger in Strange Lands, Lucille McCarthy describes a
successful student as someone who can determine what constitutes appropriate texts in
each classroom by interacting with teachers during the lessons and assignments (231).
Not using the personal style during college is something that has to be avoided. As
stated on a previous point, it is a good way to reflect the personal ideas and give voice
to students. In addition, despite it is more used in concrete departments, it can be a
source of writing in any stage of someones career.
To achieve an increase of rhetoric and teach students how to express their ideas,
Pennrose and Geiser suggest an alternative to of information-transfer academic model.
The authors defend that this alternative model would encourage and value students'
individual voices in class (14). This information-transfer model which we are used to
limits the use of rhetoric in students. The compilation of information that academic
styles promotes makes using rhetoric difficult, because of the lack of encouragement of
self-expression. For this reason, personal writing would help students think, and
develop ideas and themes fully.

Writing is an important skill for students development; it is a tool used during

everyones career. Academic writing is reinforced during college, and the personal tone
in writing are sometimes not considered as correct in college. But this does not
necessarily mean forgetting the personal writing style. Personal writing has power in
some fields in the Arts and Humanities, such as Journalism or Philosophy. Also, it can
also be used to make an explanation more clearly for the readers in other subjects. If
writers use a complicated, detached style, it will lead to confusion and
misunderstanding for the readers. Then, it is better to be closer and more subjective
during writing. Furthermore, during the important task of creating drafts the personal
writing is a good tool for developing the main ideas in a simpler way.
The ability of personal writing to reflect experiences and give voice to students
is the strongest point to be aware of. Professors are the ones who decide if this style has
to be taught in order to let students free their minds while writing. What personal
writings facilitate is a well-resonated use of rhetoric, which is a powerful tool that
makes people discus the subject fully, instead of only gather information about it. As a
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consequence, personal writing makes rhetoric stronger, and students would have more
encouragement in reasoning and discussing the subjects of study. For these reasons,
personal writing should not be forgotten in higher education; instead, it should be as
important as any other type of writing, and personal writing style will provide strong
benefits to everyone that uses it.