Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at

http://download.archiveofourown.org/works/1168994.

Rating: Not Rated

Archive Warning: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Category: M/M
Fandom: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Relationship: James T. Kirk/Leonard McCoy, McKirk
Character: James T. Kirk, Leonard McCoy
Stats: Published: 2014-02-04 Completed: 2014-03-05 Chapters: 30/30
Words: 14027

McKirk 30 Day Challenge

by WeWillSpockYou

Summary

Day 1 of the McKirk 30 Day Challenge. Jim and Bones are gonna tell you why they think
I ship them!
 Chapter 1

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 1. Why do you ship them?

Why does she ship us Bones?

Cause Im handsome as sin and fulla Southern charm, a course.

Totally not the reason why Bones. Pfffft, full of Southern charm? I bet she remembers the time
you were drunk off your ass and recited Dr. Kings I have a dream speech, substituting the word
dream with boner. Now that was charming.

Hmmm, ya may have a point there Jim. Maybe its your eyes; deep, soulful, cold as ice or warm
as the summer sky?

Kissing ass a little early in the day, aren't we Bonesy?

Bones? Oh wait, now youre not talkin to me? Fine, now maybe I can get a word in edgewise.

Thatll be the day when you dont get a word in

Oh, theres another country heard from. As I was saying, she ships us because we always have
each others backs

An were each others best friend.

She loves the way you take care of me Bones when Im drunk and stupid.

Which is all the time, by the way.

Is not.
Is too, dammit Jim!

Yeah, she loves all the dammit Jims too.

I think the biggest reason, is that we belong together, Jimmy.

Like Sonny and Cher?

NO, not like Sonny and Cher, more like strawberries and chocolate or fried chicken and collard
greens.

Collard greens Bones? How romantic.

Ok, well like Eomer and Eowyn, hows that?

They're brother and sister Bones, but with you being from the South I guess that works out,
huh?

For fucks sake Jim, you tell me something that belongs together then.

Me and you Bones, me and you.

Sure nuff, Jim.

Didya know she cries when other fic writers kill one or both of us off?

Yeah Jim, thats my favorite thing about her. Wish I could wrap my arms round her and hold her
close when that happens, Jim.

We should totally ship her, Bones.

We already do darlin.
 Day 2
Chapter Summary

I was going to tell you the story about what made me start to ship Jim and Bones, but
the boys had other ideas.

"Hey, we're right here, darlin!!"

"Bones, who is she calling a boy?"

"That'd be you Jim."

See what I mean??

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 2. What made you start to ship them?

No one likes a good origins story more than me.

Sorry to rain on your parade darlin, but me too.

Yeah, me three.

Whos telling this story guys, the two of you or me?

Cmon pretty, you know we aim ta please, dont we Jim?

Indeed we do Bonesy.

Ummm, what were we talking about again?

Origin story, sugar.

Oh yeah, right, sorry, those damn hazel eyes are distracting me.

I could close my eyes darlin.

Nooo, dont do that, Ill just end up staring at your lips and thats more trouble than I can handle
just now. Ok, so origin story, right. Here goes, A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

Bones, stop distracting her, youve got her telling us about Star Wars, now. Wrong fandom,
honey.

Well thats awkward. Ill try again, America is an irradiated wasteland. Within it lies a city.
Outside the boundary walls, a dessert. A cursed earth. Inside the walls-

Sorry ta interrup' darlin, but thats Dredd.

So it is Leo. Be a pal and lend a hand, would ya? Tell me your version of our origin story.

I still think it has ta do with my Southern charm.

Now wait just one dammed minute. What if I wanna tell MY version of OUR origin story?

Dont you always get your turn, Jim?

Fine, but sloppy seconds arent usually my thing.

Dammit Jim, dont be such an infant and stick ya tongue back in your mouth, shes libel ta lose
whats left of her Yankee mind.

Your confidence in my self control is a wonder, Leo. Maybe we should put plastic down, in case I
pee on the floor?
Awww Peaches, cmere, lets hug it out.

Tell the story, Leo and hands above the waist, yeah?

Wet blanket! Anywhooo, I think this whole thing started with the shuttle trip from Iowa to San
Francisco. I was at the lowest point of my life, half drunk and scared outta my fool head. Meetin
the kid was just dumb luck. Who knew my whole life would change in that one moment? Then I
uttered THE most romantic words ever, I may throw up on ya. Sheer poetry, hmmm? Thats it,
isnt it, what do I win?

Good guess Doc, but thats not our origin story.

Well fuck me blind.

Thats just an urban legend Bones, you cant really go blind from that.

Dammit Jim.

Okay Sunshine, youre up, lets hear it.

How did you know I was up?

Jiiiiiiiim! Oh my GodLeo, youre gonna let me hit him with the hypo this time, right? Ive been
so good!

Barbarian. Obviously it was when Bones couldnt leave me in the shuttle hangar and had to
smuggle me aboard the Enterprise. I mean I really was pretty pathetic standing there with my dick
in my hand, while everyone else got their ship assignments. It was a pretty shitty feeling knowing
I had just fucked my whole career.

Wow Jimmy, I never knew you saw it that way. And sorry, but you are incorrect, Captain.

Come again, sweet pea?

Jim, dont wind her up or well never hear the end of this dammed story.

Actually guys the ship sailed when Jim died to save you, Leo.

Wait, what now, darlin?

Come on guys, dont tell me the two of you havent talked about this? Of course Jim told me that
as Captain, it was his duty to save everyone on board the Enterprise. But I threw the bullshit flag
on that answer. He climbed into that radiation chamber to save you, Leo, plain and simple. I mean
people say all the time that they would die for the person they love, but Jim actually did it. What
greater testament to true love is there?

That true, kid?

Yeah, its true. Dammit, hes gonna be insufferable now that he knows this, honey.

Dont I know it! But also keep in mind what he risked to bring you back, Jim; his medical license
and his commission. He was pretty broken when you met each other thanks to his divorce, but just
imagine Leo without his medical license. Not a pretty picture.

Never gave it a second thought darlin. My life wouldntve been worth a damn without him,
medical license or no.

Aww Bones

My bad for actually thinking the two of you talked about important things like this. So, anyway,
thats our origin story. Your own little version of You jump, I jump.

You jump, I jump?

Thats a Titanic reference Bones, youve never seen that movie?

Nope, any good?

Is it any goodSometimes I wonder if you know me at all Bones!

Leo grab a box of Kleenex, Jim you make the popcorn.

Shouldnt that be, you make the popcorn, Captain?

 Day 3
Chapter Summary

My go to canon moment is the the theme of the day. Let's just say Jim and Bones get
the party started without me.

"Damn Bones, she's so hot when she's jealous."

"Mmmm, She's hot all the time, Jim."

It's a curse, boys...

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 3. Favorite Canon Go To Scene

Shes not gonna be able ta do it Jim, admit defeat, graciously will ya?

No way Bonesy, shes totally gonna be able to pick one moment.

Im tellin ya Jim-boy, its just not possible to pick one, I cant even do it.

Course not Bones, you got no control over your emotions.

Thank you, Mr. Spock.

No need to get defensive, Bones.

Well then tell me your favorite canon moment of our lives.

It was that day in the hangar Bones. We had been friends for three years at the Academy. I got
myself beat to hell all the time and you healed me. All those nights you were drunk and angry, I
was there to get you through to morning. But those are the kinds of things friends just do for each
other. You couldn't go into space without me Bones, admit it.
Youre right Jim, cant deny that.

You never broke a rule Bones, not a single one, but on that day you did. That was when I
realized we might have a chance to be together, when you risked everything to get me on board
the Enterprise.

Even when I kept jabbing you with hypos?

Even then Bones. So spill it, whats your go-to canon moment?

Tol ya Jim, cant pick just one. Ill never forget the first time I looked into those startling blue
eyes. I wondered if they were even real at first. Then all those god-dammed nav classes I took so I
could sit in on the Kobayashi Maru with you. The day I smuggled you on board the shuttle and I
saw the beauty of space for the first time through your eyes. Running through the red jungle of
Nibiru with you, cause you were just gonna get your fool self killed if I let you go alone.
Unzipping that body bag.

Cmere Bones, its okay.

Hi boys! Jim, why is Leo crying?

Talkin about your day 3 challenge question, go to canon moments and Bones remembered a bad
one.

Guys, Im sorry. This is my responsibility, you two weren't meant to do the work for me.

We always do all the work for ya darlin.

Hey, theres my favorite hazel-eyed boy. And yeah you do, cant argue there. So whats the final
verdict then, what do you think my go to canon moment is?

I cant narrow it down and Jim thinks it was the day I smuggled him on board the Enterprise.
Come on Leo, guess!

K, hmmm, gonna go with bringing Jimmy back from the great beyond.

Good guesses, but NOPE, youre both wrong. Its that moment when Jim beams back to the
Enterprise with Captain Pike. The world is going to hell, Pike is hurt, Spock is on the other
transporter pad and Leo, you go right for Jim, shouting out his name and grabbing his arm. Jims
just as happy to see you, calling out for you and smiling when he sees you run into the room. We
all know you were running to Jim, Leo.

A course I was darlin.

Yeah that was Bones tryin to keep things on the down low.

You werent exactly being subtle either, Jim.

Ya think anyone else noticed, honey?

No, Jim I dont think anyone noticed, I think EVERYONE noticed.

Well its go big or go home, right?

Speaking of going big uhmmm, guys, is there room for me there in the middle of that hug?

Thought youd never ask darlin.

 Day 4
Chapter Summary

It's all about fanfic today. Jim and Bones are back for an in-depth literary critique of
two masterpieces and we're really hitting the fourth wall today.

"We've been hittin it all week darlin."

"Hittin the fourth wall too, Bones..."

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 4. Favorite Fic

Okay guys here we go, day 4! Hows everyone feeling today?

Why dont you tell me darlin.

I see youre coming out swinging Leo.

Pfftt, Bones, she said swinging

Youre such an infant, Jim.

Okay boys, focus! So there are a lot of McKirk fics that have tickled my fancy over time. Oddly
enough I started with the granddaddy of them all, Switch. I saw a post for the story on my Tumblr
dash one day and just started reading it. I was new to the AO3 site and didn't notice the word
count, so an hour later when I was still at the beginning of the story, I knew this was going to be
something special. A lot of what I know as my head canon came from this story, the biggest of
which is calling Leonard, Leo.

Well what did ya call me before, darlin?

Usually Bones, which really should be reserved for Jim or Dr. McCoy, which is kinda formal, you
know? I kinda figured the only person who probably called you Leonard was your mother.
DeForest Kelleys McCoy always struck me as a Len, but you dont. I dont know. I've had a soft
spot for Dr. McCoy for more years than I care to admit, but this story just made me fall in love
with you, completely and totally. Leo is a sweet name and it just really fits you.

Awww Peaches, that deserves a cuddle.

Tick, tock Bones, you gonna let her up for air anytime soon?

You ever notice how handsy he is Jim?

Every day of my life

Anyway, here is the link to Switch, which trust me when I say this, you are going to want to make
a cup of something hot and sit down with this masterpiece!! Go read it now!!
http://archiveofourown.org/works/168135?view_full_work=true

As much as I love Switch, its not my favorite McKirk fic.

Snot darlin?

Nope Bonesy, theres another one, which made her fall in love with me, HA HA.

You sure youre okay with this story Jim?

You bettcha. It was hard to read at first, though.

Yeah, I bet it was, but worth it in the end?

Totally was, sweet pea.

Will one a ya please tell me what this one is about before I burst?
Sorry Leo, and were gonna talk later about why youre not reading my fic recs.

Youre in trouuuuuuuble, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah.

Darlin are we also gonna talk about how Jim is a toddler in an adult-sized body?

NOPE, hes all yours Leo. So, this story is called Nineteen Days: A Tale of Coffee, Love and
Baseball (not necessarily in that order). Its an AU story that takes place in my modern day San
Francisco. Leo is a barista in a coffee shop and is about to start medical school and Jim is an
engineering student, who comes into Leos shop one day for a cup of coffee.

Why would that be hard for Jim to read, darlin?

Well, Jim is deaf in this story, Leo.

WHAT? Have you lost whats left of your Yankee mind? Oh my sweet, holy fuck!

Bones, sok, I promise.

OKAY, Jim? Snot, okay

I had a hard time with that idea too Leo, at first. It took me a couple of weeks before I found
enough courage to read the story.

Courage?

Yeah Leo, courage. I tend to stay away from stories that have major character deaths because I
know how Im gonna react and blubbing in front of my computer screen isnt my favorite way to
spend free time. Even though no one dies, it is very emotional. Anyway, the story starts with Jim
walking into the coffee shop with headphones on and typing on his phone. Leo thinks hes
another one of those guys whos constantly on Twitter with his mom, who is his only follower.
Needless to say he feels like a complete and total ass when Jim hands him his phone with a
message that introduces himself and lets Leo know hes deaf. Of course they are both attracted to
each other and Jim keeps coming back into the coffee shop to see Leo. In the meantime, Leo starts
to learn ASL so they can talk to each other.
Hmmm, that sounds like somthin Id do. Jim said you fall in love with him darlin, how so?

Its totally something you would do Leo. A lot of what weve read about Jim paints him as the
consummate lothario, promiscuous and not sure if monogamy is ever something he would want or
could pull off. In this story, Jim falls for Bones pretty much on sight. All of that confidence we see
in the Captains chair is present in Jim when hes with you. Trust me Leo, read this one, you
wont regret it. Its one of those stories that gives me a lot of happy feels and maybe a happy tear
or twenty. Heres the link:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054366/chapters/2110974

Ill give it a whirl, darlin since ya both seem so keen on it. And Im, uhhmm, sorry too

Sorry for what Leo?

Gettin so mad and questioning your Yankee mind.

Still fighting the Civil War, huh Leo? Yankee is a fightin word to a girl from Boston, ya know.

Thats the War of Northern Aggression to you, missy.

Well Fiddle-de-de to you, tomorrow is another day.

Bones, what the hell is she talkin about?

Youve never seen Gone With The Wind? Unbelievable

Guess Im making popcorn, huh Bones?

Ill grab the Kleenex!

 Day 5
Chapter Summary

We're talking about fanart today! The boys have great taste.

"So do you darlin."

"She chose us, didn't she Bones"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 5. Favorite Art

Okay guys lets talk about art!

Ya mean like the classic paintin of dogs playin poker, darlin?

She means real art Bones, like the Van Goghs Starry Night.

I gotta say, Im a bit surprised here guys. I totally thought Jim would be into cult art and Bones
would have more cultured taste.

His taste is all in his mouth, sweat pea.

Hey now, I dont hear either of you complainin about my mouth.

Hes got us there Jim I mean fan art. I think that is my favorite thing about Tumblr, so many
talented people and their using their abilities to draw pics of the two of you!

Ok, darlin, you go first, who is your favorite artist and why?

This is Lucys Tumblr page: http://loobeeinthesky.tumblr.com/

This is my favorite piece of the two of you from your Academy days:
One of you two on board the Enterprise:

The reasons these are my favorites is that they are so true to life and the detail is incredible.
Wow, sweat pea, those are incredible. Can I share my favorite?

Yeah, go for it Jim!

This is from: http://meekobits.tumblr.com/

Why is it your favorite Jim?

I like that it shows Bones takin care of me.

I like that youre wearin one of my shirts to help ya feel better darlin.

How about you, Leo, do you have a favorite piece to share?

I do, darlin, this is from the same artist as Jim's pic.

Why is this your favorite Leo?

Cause its Jim showin me the beauty of space through his eyes an tryin to help me get over my
fear of the black.

I love that one a lot too, Leo. The world is an amazing place when I see it through Jims eyes.

Just one of my many services, princess.

 Day 6
Chapter Summary

It's Day 6 and for once Jim, Bones and I are in complete agreement!

"Come on now Pretty, even when we disagree we agree."

"Darlin, that made NO sense."

"Couldn't agree more Bonsey!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 6. Favorite McKirk Tumblr

Well this is an easy question!

Yes it is, darlin.

I am unanimous in this, sweet pea.

Of course you are, Captain.

Okay everyone lets say it together: RICECHEX!

http://ricechex.tumblr.com/

How we love thee darlin

Let us count the ways.

Boys! I didnt know you liked Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

Darlin, when you live with an English major, you pick things up.

Aww, Leo, bless your heart. That deserves a hug!! Lets talk about why Ricechex is awesome!

She is an AMAZING writer, darlin.

Dont tell me Leo, tell her!

Youre an AMAZING writer, darlin!

She has also been kind to me when it comes to stuff Ive written about you two crazy goofballs!

Shes a great writer, sweat pea, but she kills us off a lot and that makes you cry. I am SO not
okay with your tears, cause your tears lead to my tears.

Its okay Jimmy, its just make-believe. Youre always there with a sweet kiss to wipe away my
tears.

What am I, chopped liver? I deal with my share of tears too, darlin. Oh and lets not forget
Ricechex is friendly with our pals John Kennex and Dorian.

Indeed she is Leo, yet one more reason to share the Ricechex love!

Sweet pea, do you mind if I say something to the lovely Ricechex before we wrap this up?

Sure Jim!

This is James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the USS Enterprise. I hereby order you to cease and
desist with killing off not only my Chief Medical Officer, Doctor Leonard H. McCoy, but in
killing off me as well. If you fail to follow this DIRECT ORDER, retaliation will be swift and
sure.

Good God Jim, that was harsh

Im with Jim, darlin, I would only be too happy to throw her in our brig if I see so much as one
more tear on your pretty face.

Im sure theyre just funnin around with you, Ricechex.

THE HELL WE ARE!

 Day 7
Chapter Summary

"Bones, it's smut time!"

"When isn't it?"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 7. What scenario do you picture them in most often?

You ready for this one Bones, its gonna be a lot of fun!

I love all the crazy situations she puts us in.

Oh do you now, Leo?

My favorite is me naked, flat on my back, legs spread while Jims, mmmppfff!

The way I see it honey, you gotta problem now. You may have shut Bones up with that kiss, but
that leaves my mouth free to say annnnnything I want. Oh, honey, giving me the finger is SO 21st
century. You too Bones. So lets see, what is my favorite scenario??

Dammit Jim, I was really enjoying that, get back here darlin.

No, no, Jims right, need to keep my lips free to police this discussion.

No ones smuttier than you, honey.

JAMES TIBERIUS KIRK, I resent that remark. Im a lady, well most of the time anyway

Like I was saying about being flat on my back, legs in the air.

God help me Leo. Yes okay, yes, I love it when youre flat on your back and Jim is drilling you
into the mattress. BUT and I truly mean this, my favorite moments are when you are just talking
to each other, discussing your day, solving a problem, you know, mundane, everyday life
situations.

Why are those your favorite moments, darlin?

Because the two of you love each other so much, that even the mundane is special and exciting.

Thats sweet honey, but lets get back to talking about sex.

I am shocked to hear those words come from your lips, Jim.

Admit it, thats the scenario you picture us in the most, riiiiight??
You really are such an infant Jim.

Cmon darlin, you know hes right

Dammit, Leo, yeah, youre both right.

Course Im right, Im the captain.

OHHHHH God.

See youre a natural at writing this stuff, darlin.

It hasnt always been that way. I really struggled with the smut.

How so, honey?

I remember the first time I tried to write a blowjob scene and I just stared at the keyboard typing
out each letter in my mind and then I thought, well fuck it, and just started writing. Hell, its not
like my mother is going to read this. Is she?

Hi MOM!

JIMLeo stop laughing.

Sorry, darlin, just remembering my favorite rim job and wondering if your Mom knows what that
is or if she had to look it up on urban dictionary. BOY Howdy!

Leonard Horatio McCoy, I officially hate you. Nooo, dont try to sneak over here and hug me, its
too late for that. LEO, put me down. Jim? A little help here? Nooo, I didnt mean tickle me while
he hauls me around like a sack of potatoes. Guys, laundry room, please!

Whats in the laundry room, darlin?

I feel the overwhelming need to scrub out my eyeballs and bleach my brain.
 Day 8
Chapter Summary

It's favorite quote day!

"Are you out of your Vulcan mind?"

"I regret that I have but one life to give for my country."

"I am the LAW!"

Guys, favorite fanfic quote...

"We are the knights who say ni"

OH brother...

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 8. Favorite Fic Quote

Good morning boys! Sleep well?

We always sleep well when you spend the night, darlin.

Gosh you have a big mouth!

All the better ta eat you with my dear.

OH my sweet holy fuck, Leo... What were we talking about?

Favorite fic quote honey.

Thanks Jim, who knew YOUD be the voice of reason here?

Figured I owed you one, princess.

Were square now, thats for sure! Okay, so favorite fic quote. Were going back to Nineteen days
for this one. Heres the link again for those of you who have not read this AMAZING piece of fic:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/1054366?view_full_work=true

Uhhmm, darlin? Can I stop ya there for a minute?

Leo, is what you are about to say completely on topic, above board and clean?

Sure is sugar.

You may proceed

Remember the other day when we talked bout this fic and I told ya I hadnt read it yet?

Mmm hmm, and I also remember quite well you asking if I had lost my Yankee mind for
recommending this one.

I read it last night, darlin and it was as good as ya promised. It was hard a first, thinking about
Jim bein deaf an all that he had ta overcome. Mglad I read it. Thanks

You are welcome, handsome boy. Now, back to the plotProblem with this quote is that I wasnt
sure which day its from, meaning I needed to read the whole thing, again for like the 15th
time.

Cant you just skim, honey?

No, this fic has to be taken as a whole, in context you know?

You just needed an excuse to read it through again, sugar.

True enough. Heres the scene, Jim and Leo are counting down the hours until their first date.
They havent been able to see each other in several days because Jim has been away at his
brothers wedding in Iowa and now that hes back in San Francisco, his work schedule has been
crazy. They have been texting instead. The bolded words are text messages from Jim to Bones:

Just about to turn out the lights, but I thought you should know what I want to do with
you.

Holding his breath, he grips the phone with both hands, staring fixedly at the screen as he waits.
He doesn't notice the bus fly past his stop just as the text alert chimes and a single word appears.

Everything.

This is a looooong fic sugar, why is this your favorite quote?

Obviously when you look at this quote on its own youre probably thinking Jim is talking about
sex. But when you read it in the context of the story, Jim literally means he wants to do everything
with Leo. Everything that is part and parcel of a lifetime spent together. This line takes my breath
away and makes me hope and dream.

Were right here with you, princess.

Boy are we ever, darlin.

 Day 9
Chapter Summary

It's 3am, I must be lonely...

"Nah, darlin we're right here, aren't we Jim?"

"Jim?"

"Dammit, Jim!"

Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 9. Favorite AU Scenario

Sugar, its 3am, whatre you doin up?

Cant sleep, Leo.

Son ya mind?

AU fics

Seriously darlin?

My mind is a strange and wonderful place!

Guys, sthe middle of the night why is my bed cold an empty?

Dammit Jim, did we wake you up?

Mmm hmm, whats wrong?

Nothings wrong, just trying to think of my favorite AU scenario.

Shoulda woke me up sooner, thats easy.

It is?

Yup, you LIVE for crossover stories, how bout that one where theres some kinda transporter
malfunction and I end up in Joe Dredds world? That is one intense guy! Heart of gold though

JIM! Yes, thats a great one! Theres also a lot of Reaper/Bones fic out there, which is fascinating,
the idea of immortality and you of course being the love of John Grimms life.

Im a big fan a those myself, darlin. They start out dark and get a lot brighter by the end.
 Hey, she doesnt call me Sunshine for nothin Bones!

Dont forget about the crossovers that include John Kennex and Dorian, sugar. I know how close
you are with those two.

I love those two, cant deny that Leo. I read an amazing fic last week where John died, which
killed me but Dorian, who is an android and can theoretically live forever moves to Georgia to
look after Johns niece and nephew. Of course the nephew turns out to be a great-great
grandfather of one Leonard H. McCoy. Dorian follows him into Starfleet and has changed his
name to MBenga. They end up on the Enterprise together, where Dorian saves Leos life, but is
irreparably damaged himself. The last scene was of Dorian meeting up with John in heaven and
John suggesting they go for noodles. It was a heartbreaker.

Gettin real sick of tears, honey.

Its all in good fun Jim and hey, it shows how much I care about you guys. What about other fics
that just include the two of you?

Darlin, theres one set back in high school where the Enterprise crew are all life guards at a
YMCA.

Great Leo, now hes doing the YMCA dance in buff

What about the one where Im a firefighter and Bones is an EMT?

I love that one Jim! Ive been trying to remember the name of it all morning long.

Cmon darlin, weve done enough damage here, lets bundle you off to bed.

Boooones, now Im wide awake.

Blieve it or not I know a cure for that.

You do?

A course I do darlin, trust me, Im a doctor

Chapter End Notes

Guys! I have to thank you all SO much for all of the comments you have about this
challenge. It means a lot that you take the time to write! Plus I am over the moon that
so many of you are enjoying the concept of these little chats with Jim and Bones. I'd
let them thank you themselves, but I would prefer not to give them bigger heads than
they already have...

"I heard that darlin!"

"Perpetually big HEADS Bones..."

 Day 10
Chapter Summary

We're talking AU scenarios that we'd love to see written!

"Captain's Log, Stardate 2254.3, Delta Vega day 10, still no sign of the man-eating
ice bugs. Snow is heavy, visibility non existent."

"No sign of hope either darlin and it's colder than a witch's..."

Welcome to Massachusetts in February boys!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 10. Fic you wish someone would write for this ship.

Hey guys!

Mornin princess, whats with the hat and wooly socks?

Jim, remember that time Spock marooned you on Delta Vega? Well Massachusetts looks an awful
like that today, well minus the giant man-eating bugsI think.

Hey darlin, blue is definitely your color.

Leo, are you referring to my hat or to my lips?

Mmm, hat darlin, the lips are an easy enough fix. Cmere

Charmer! So guys, there are a lot of fic writers out there who put you two in a lot of crazy
scenarios. From fics set back at the academy to the two of you being mermaids, erm mermen,
rather. But, my question is thishas anyone ever asked the two of you what situations you would
like to see written about you?

Mermen, honey?

Yup Jim, mermen. Although to be honest, Ive not read those yet.

Good question darlin, youre right, no ones asked me before what kinda stories I would like to
see written.

Im all ears Leo!

Dont sell yourself short darlin! How about a Civil War era story? Jim is a dashing Captain from
a regiment of Yankee soldiers and Im the brilliant, young country doctor who saves my enemy
and falls in love with him.

Leaves a funny taste in your mouth to say the word Yankee, huh?
Maybe, but youre a Yankee and I like you just fine, sugar.

Gee thanks, I think. So youre looking at a Gone with the Wind scenario, of sorts?

Watchin the movie thother day inspired me. Although mthinkin more like North and South.

I really like that idea Leo!

Thought you might! Hop to it, darlin.

Ill add it to the list of ideas floating around in my memory palace. How about you Jim? Any
scenarios youd like to find yourself starring in?

What about in a psych ward? Im the devastatingly handsome, yet wrongly committed patient
and I need to convince Bones of my sanity.

Yad have a hard time convincin me a that now darlin.

You think thats funny sweat pea?

Jim, its just, pppfftttsorry, so sorry.

Oh nice job Bones, now shes got the giggles.

No, haha, Im fine now, oh yikesWe could wrap him up in a straight jacket and a muzzle like
Hanibal Lecter. Imagine those possibilities Leo!

We could watch movies and actually HEAR the dialogue.

He wouldnt hog all the popcorn!

Or throw it at us, darlin.

What are you looking for Leo?

Mkeys, gonna run out and buy a straightjacket now, maybe get two just in case he gnaws
through the first one.

Funny, Bones, your fuckin hilarious. Lets see how funny you are without blowjobs, or rim jobs
or hand jobs, oror

Snow jobs, put-up jobs, inside jobs, Steve Jobs?

How bout day job, dirty job, asleep on the job, darlin?

Thats it! Im done talking to both of you

Thats the spirit Jim, quiet blowjobs it is.

 Day 11
Chapter Summary

It's Valentine's Day and by pure, happy coincidence we're talking about marriage!

"I've got a heart-on for ya princess!"

"They don't call me 'Bones' for nothin darlin!"

Happy Valentine's day guys!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 11. Do they get married? Who proposed to who?

Hello! Im glad its just you and I right now. See I have a problem. Im supposed to sit down and
discuss this marriage question with Jim and Bones, but they are both being kinda cagey with me.
They have been very excited to sit and chat about every other topic over the last ten days, but I
cant get either of them to commit to this discussion. Which I guess is pretty fricken ironic
considering the topic.

See, Im a firm believer that love is love. You should be able to marry whomever, so long as both
parties are of age, are both consenting and arent related to each other. We have a real problem
in this country with war, poverty, unemployment and women not making salaries equal to those of
their male counterparts. Do we really need to debate the issues of love and family? Imagine what
would happen if all of the people who picket gay weddings, pride marches and parades would put
that energy and those resources toward raising the minimum wage? Its just a thought

Hey princess, sorry Im late. Happy Valentines Day

Hi Jim. Happy Valentines day. You okay? Youre looking a little pale.

Im fine just nervous.

Nervous about what? Talking about the marriage question? Jim, you have nothing to be nervous
about.

Why, did Bones confide something in you about this?

No, and if he did, I couldnt tell you anyway, But no, he hasnt said anything.

So why shouldnt I be nervous?

This isnt like you at all, Oh Captain, my Captain.

Yeah well, this is a big topic and its an important day, you know?

You mean because its Valentines Day?

Hmm, yeah, thats it.

Jim, whats in your pocket that you keep fiddling with?

Same thing I always fiddle with honey.

Jiiiim! Oh, God, is that a?

A what, honey?

A ring in your pocket?

Maaaaaybe.

JIM! Seriously, today? Youre gonnatoday??

Why do you think I havent wanted to talk about this topic? Didnt want to spoil the surprise.

Awesome Jim, just awesome!

Do you wanna see it?

NO!! Leo should be the first person to see it.

Damn, hes home, gotta brush my teeth or something, be right back.

Hey darlin, wheres Jim.

Hes in the bathroom.

Good, I gotta show ya somethin.

OH my God Leo, is that a ring box in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Yeah, its a ring box.

Dont show me, Jim should be the first to see it.

Sorry I wasnt here to talk with ya about the marriage question, darlin.

Are you kidding me Leo, you just did. Call me tomorrow, let me know what he says, okay?

Wait, youre leavin?

I am, but I am counting on details later.

Wish me luck.

Always.
 Day 12
Chapter Summary

This one is a bit late today, but Jim and Bones are gonna let you know just why that
is!!

"Are we ever, darlin!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 12. Favorite Screen caps

Were coming to you a little late today, boys would either one of you care to tell everyone why
that is??

WERE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!

Hahaha! Congrats guys, yesterday was the best day ever!

It sure was darlin!

Couldnt have done it without your help, princess.

Aww, thanks guys! Today, were talking about pictures and you both know that I am a Memory
Keeper, so I have boatloads to share!

Please tell me that youre not gonna share the derpy pics of us.

Come on Jim, those are my MOST favorite of all!

Maybe just one, darlin.

Okay fine, Ill behave. SO, without further ado, pictures please!!

"Darrrrrrlin!"

Come on Leo! I love this one, you're goin off on ills of space, disease and danger, blah, blah, blah
and Jim is like FML!

"This is a great one Bones, she's got ya there!"

I love this one where Jim's gotta plan and Leo's trying figure out how many regens Jim's gonna
need!

"Great pic, darlin, I like this one."

"This is my favorite, princess!"

Mine too Jim!

"Course it is, I'm jumpin off a cliff, what could be more safe?"

"It turned out fine Bones."

"Fine, he says, it turned out fine."

You're still in one piece Leo! How about you, Jim, you got a favorite pic to share?
Why is this your favorite, Jim?

Cause I know no matter how much Bones likes to bitch about how busy he is, hell always be
there for me.

That why youve got that smile on ya face darlin?

"Well that and you're so fuckin hot when your annoyed at me."

What about you Leo, do you have a favorite pic?

"Purely gratuitous wet suit shot!"

You'll hear no complaints from me on that one Leo! Oh and in closing, I only have this to say:
"I love this darlin."

"Me too, Bones!"

 Day 13
Chapter Summary

We're talking babies and baby names today!

...Wait, no witty comeback Jim?

"Too easy, honey."

"You're telling me darlin!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 13. Do you think they will have kids? What are their names?

Well this is an interesting question in light of recent developments! Oh and in case youre just
joining us here, Jim and Bones got engaged on Valentines Day!

Cmon darlin, quit cooing like a mother hen.

Let her coo all she wants Bones, this is awesome!

Fine, you win, tell me where your head is here on this question darlin.

Honestly, Leo, I cannot imagine either one of you without a baby in your arms. A sweet little boy
with Jims eyes and your dimples! Maybe a little girl with spit curls and your beautiful hazel eyes.

I like the sound of that princess! Do you mean twins or two babies at different times?

I love the idea of twins keeping you both on your toes!

What would you name them darlin?

Hmmm, the little boy would be a J name to take after Jim, like Jackson, Jameson or Jacob. The
little girl, I would name Jade, another J name but named in honor of you Leo, for the color of
her eyes!

Thats real sweet darlin.

How about you Jim, what do you think?

I want a whole boatload of kids. Both natural and adopted. My home life wasnt all that great and
I want the opportunity to give back with a family of our own.

Dammit Jim, stop makin me cry.

Awww, Leo. How about you?

I like the idea of a houseful of kids too. I would want one boy named David after my father and
the rest we could choose together.
Youre available to babysit, right princess?

For a modest fee boys

 Day 14
Chapter Summary

We're giving good head today, headcanon that is!

"Worst joke ever honey!"

"Darlin no, just....no!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 14. Accepted Headcanon

Darlin, Im still a little confused about headcanon, can you explain it again.

Sure thing Leo! Headcanon is a part of a story that is not canon, but that I or the rest of the
fandom believe is true in our own heads. Like the idea that you and Jim were roommates at the
Academy. We have no proof that you lived together, but most of us, myself included think it is so.

Of course we lived together Princess, even our first year at the Academy when we didnt live
together, we still lived together.

Ya mean you crashed at my dorm, ate all my left over pizza and drank all my beer, Jim.

Thats what I said Bones, we lived together.

What an infant. So darlin, tell me some of your other headcanons.

When you work overnight shifts at the hospital and Jim is back in the dorm alone, he sleeps with
your pillow. The pillow smells like your aftershave and he snuggles with it against his chest. When
you come home from your shift tired and grumpy, youre pretty pissed off to find your pillow
missing and you figure Jim is pulling some prank, but then you see him laying on his side, his face
resting on your pillow, the way it would rest on your chest if you were laying next to him and you
cant help but smile at Jim. You gently pry his arms from around the pillow, ruffle his hair to
soothe him back to sleep and make your way to your own bed.

Wow darlin, I love that idea.

Wish I had thought to do that, Bones. Do you have any more princess?

Sure do. Being that you are of a superstitious nature, Jim, you took to wearing one of Bones t-
shirts under your uniform on exam days at the Academy. Its his favorite Ole Miss shirt that Bones
has had since med school. Of course, Leo discovers it missing one day and assumes you have it
or have hidden it or have lost it, so when he sees you wearing it as you change out of your
uniform during finals week, hes pretty pissed off at you. That is until you explain that you need
Bones with you on important days and since he couldnt sit next to you during exams, this was the
next best thing. Leos response to you was that youd better wash it before you returned it to him.
Jim was of course wearing the Ole Miss shirt when he passed the Kobayashi Maru even though
you were there with him Leo, he also had it on the day of the disciplinary hearing and it was
under his command gold when he stepped onto the bridge for the first time as Captain of the
Enterprise.

Are you serious darlin? I love the thought of that!

That ones actually true BonesI wasnt wearing the Ole Miss shirt, but I used to wear your
white t-shirts, the ones with LHM printed on the tags.

Shit Jim, you knew that I wrote my initials on my clothes?

Hell yeah, I did your laundry often enough Bones.

Were gonna talk about this later, Jim! Peaches, please tell me you have one of these about me?

Yeah, of course I do, Leo. On nights when you were feeling particularly homesick you would sit
on the floor at the foot of your dorm bed, a bottle of cheap bourbon in one hand, with your knees
pulled up to your chest. You would play the old version of Georgia On My Mind by Ray
Charles and cry about all that you were forced to walk away from. You had these personal pity
parties when you knew Jim would be out for the night, that is until the one night Jim came home
early. He could hear the music and you crying from the doorway to your room and he walks over
to you, gallantly offers you his hand and asks if he can have this dance. You think hes messing
with you and you bat his hand away. He reaches back down and asks you again. Sooo, you get
up and Jim pulls you into his arms. He is leading so your feet get a little tangled at first and
maybe some of that is bourbons fault. Finally you find a rhythm together and Jim starts to sing
the lyrics of the song in a deep-bluesy voice.

My God, darlin.

Boys dont cry, its okay!

Thats pretty neat, Bones. I like that a lot! Got anymore?

Now Bones is not a particularly religious man, but one day when he was out with his father
visiting a sick neighbor, he overheard his father saying a prayer over the man, as he dies, Heart
of Jesus, once in agony, have mercy on the dead. Amen. This stuck with Leo throughout his life
and when he suffered the loss of his first patient on the operating table, found himself repeating
this simple prayer. It brought no comfort to Leo, who felt there still should have been something
he could have done to save the patient. Bones continued to say this prayer over the bodies of all
he lost, including the day he unzipped a body bag to see the face of his best friend and lover.

STOP darlin. Holy fuck, stop right there, my heart cant take this anymore.

Sorry Leo.

How did you know I say a prayer for the patients Ive lost?

Just a feeling Leo. Youre that kind of doctor. Your care for your patients doesnt stop when their
heart does
 Day 15
Chapter Summary

Well we're talking about who hogs the blankets and it's all in good fun, right guys?

....Leo? Jim?

All in good fun!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 15. Whos the blanket hog in the relationship?

Guys, Im not sure I should be in on this conversation.

Why not darlin, the answer is simple, its Jim, a course.

Now hold on just one dammed minute Bones.

See, this is why I think I should just excuse myself now

Youre not goin anywhere princess, I need you on my side.

Oh brother

Shes gonna take my side Jim, hands down.

Im not taking anyones side

Dammit Jim, you know its you.

Oh sure, Mr. Freeze. You turn into an icicle when the temperature drops below 70 degrees

Uhhmm, guys?

Arent you forgetting yourself there, butterfly boy?

Butterfly boy? What the hell does THAT mean, Bones?

Fuck me sideways guys, enough! Leo, why do you think Jim is the cover hog and what does it
have to do with butterflies?

He cant fall asleep unless the blankets are wrapped around his shoulders and when he turns over
in the night, he takes the covers with him.

Which of course wakes you up because youre cold?

Yeah darlin, a course it does.

Jim? Your turn.

Okay, maybe I do cocoon in the blankets

Theres nothing wrong with that Jim.

Yeah tell that to him.

Leo can hear me too, Jim.

Yeah well Bones is yanker.

Haha, oh mercy. A what Jim?

Hes a yanker, he yanks the covers back, really hard.

OH, I see, I was thinking wanker, but thats something else entirely.

Yeah so he yanks the covers back and then Im cold.

I guess theres only one solution to this problem.

Whats that darlin?

Separate beds, of course! Like Lucy and Ricky!

Are you out of your Yankee mind darlin?

Over my dead body, Bones.

 Day 16
Chapter Summary

"Gettin real sick of the snow darlin."

Join the club, Leo!

"I'm still bored!"

Do you want to build a snowman?

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 16. Favorite fluffy imagined moment?

Im sooo bored.

God, youre an infant Jim, powers only been out for an hour.

Tell us a story princess.

A story, Jim?

Yeah a nice story about Bonesn me.

Oh, you mean something fluffy?

I love fluffy stories, but you gotta promise not to tell anyone, k honey?

Thatll be our little secret Jim. Leo, are you in the mood for a story too?

Sure darlin, but let me fix up the fire a bit before you start.

Its another rainy night in San Francisco. Enough rain already, Jim thinks as he stares out the
window looking for the familiar form of his roommate. Hes already set the table, twice now since
he wasnt quite satisfied with the way it looked the first time. Cmon Bones, where are you, its
really late. Jim sighed, then moved his shaking hands to the cold glass of the window. Bones
shift at the hospital should have ended at 11pm, but with the rain came accidents and Jim wasnt
surprised that he was late getting back. It was past 1am now and Jim was getting a bit worried.
Of course it had to rain tonighttonight of all nights. Jim had spent the last two weeks
planning this evening; researching the menu, how he would say what he had been holding back
for the last two years. Hed spent hours in front of their bathroom mirror practicing, I love you
Bones.love you man God I fucking love you Bones. He said the words again and again even
though the words had taken up permanent residence in his heart years ago, he was still getting
used the way they felt in his mouth, on his tongue.

Finally he saw the huddled form of Dr. Leonard McCoy walking quickly toward the front door of
their building. Jim went to the oven, pulled out the lasagna and dished out two servings. He also
grabbed the salad out of the fridge. He ordered the lights down to 10% and lit the candles on the
table. Everything was ready, except Jim. He couldnt keep the tremor out of his hands, so he
shoved them behind his back and into his pockets. He could hear the soft beeps of Bones entering
his security code and the swoosh as the door opened on the dripping form of his best friend.

Jim, whats all this?

Dinner Bones. Its been a long day.

You made all of this for me?

For us Bones.

Jim I dont understand.

Theres something Ive been wanting to tell you and it cant wait any longer.

Okay Jim, somethin the matter, should I be worried?

Uhmmm, maybe, I dont know. Bones, I-

Jim, what is it? Youre feeling a bit warm, Ill get my bag.

Bones, no. Im fine, Im not sick, least not physically. I love you Bones. I think I have from the
very beginning.

Well fuck me blue, Jimmy. Yfinally figured it out, did ya?

What? Y-you knew?

A course I knew darlin, was just waitin for you to come to that conclusion on your own.

Bones

Yeah, yeah, I love you too, kid.

 Day 17
Chapter Summary

I've got an angst warning for you guys!

"Bring it on princess!"

"Piece a cake darlin!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 17. Favorite angsty imagined moment?

Cmon princess, we need another story.

Make me another smore and Ill try to think of something, Jim.

Its gotta be an angsty story darlin.

I hate the idea of writing angst, but it always seems to happen without me seeing it coming.

Do us all a favor and dont kill anyone.

Sure thing Jim!

Oh and make sure neither of us is a drunk asshole darlin.

Or a cheater.

Guys, what else is there to be angsty about if I can kill you, get you drunk or stick you in someone
elses bed.

Thats why youre the brilliant writer, darlin!

Bite me, Leo, seriouslyOW! Dammit! Not literally.

Seems like Im the only one here bein literary at all, darlin,

It was a dark and stormy night

Serisouly princess?

NO! Come on, give me more credit than thatI think.

Maybe if you kept your dick in your pants we wouldnt be havin this discussion.

Thats what this is about Bones, you think Im cheating on you?

Christ on the cross Jim, I know what I saw.

So then tell me what you think you saw.

Fuck off Jim.

No Bones, Im not gonna make it that easy for you. If you want me gone youre gonna have to
give me a reason to go, instead of this pushing me away cause your scared bullshit.

S-scaredthe fuck do I havta be scared of?

You want a list Bones? How about trust Bones, huh? How about commitment? Love?
Marriage?

Please Jim, the only time those words cross your mind is when theyre answers to crossword
clues.

Oh really Bones?

Yeah, really Jim. You wouldnt know commitment if it sat on yface and wiggled.

Jims face fell. Maybe not Bones. He walked from the kitchen and into their bedroom returning
a moment later holding something tightly in his fist. He placed a small box down on the table and
looked up at Bones, tears in his brilliant blue eyes.

Whats this?

Its what you think you saw today, Bones. Me in a jewelry store, laughing and having the time of
my life with Gaila.

M not openin that box to see what you bought her, Jim.

Its not for her Bones.

Well then I dont want to see what you bought some other faceless, satisfied lover.

You cant possibly be this thick Bones, open the damn box.

Leo reached down and snatched the small box off the table. He could feel the silky velvet rub
against his fingers, and was scared to death to open the box and see what it contained. He didnt
know if he was more scared of the item inside being for someone else of for himself. Leo opened
the box and what he saw took his breath away. It was a platinum wedding band. All he could do
was look up at Jim, his mouth hanging open. Leo had no words for this moment.

Look at the inscription Bones.

Its the infinity symbol, Jim.

Still think I dont know anything about commitment Bones? He walked toward the door,
grabbing his jacket. I dont know what hurts more Bones, that you dont trust me as far as you
could throw me or that you think its in me to hurt you.

Wherere you goin Jim, we gotta talk about this.

Bye Bones.
The end

WHAT?? OH NO, darlin, you cant leave it like that.

Of course I can Leo, you said it needed to be angsty, so it is!

Thank you princess.

For what Jim?

For giving me the white hat.

Anytime Jimmy!
 Day 18
Chapter Summary

We're talking pet peeves today.

"If your pet peeve is pets, is it a pet-pet peeve?"

"Seriously, Jim?"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 18. Pet peeve of either person about the other?

Well heres another discussion I wish I were miles away from.

How bad can it be honey, we all know how perfect I am!

Youre off to a bad start, Captain James Tiberius perfect hair

Yeah, darlin his delusions of grandeur are a definite pet peeve.

How can they be delusions if they come true? I was the youngest person ever given a Captaincy
in the history of Starfleet.

We know JimOh God, how we know.

OH! So youre gonna say thats your pet peeve, honey?

NO, no, no. This is between you and Leo, I am here to observe and moderate. And possibly
duck and cover.

And goad and take sides

Jim, when do I ever take sides?

Shes gotta point Jim. But seriously, I think the hamper is my biggest pet peeve.

The hamper?

Yeah, when Jim takes off his clothes he throws them in the direction of the hamper, but never in
it.

Well hell, thats not so bad Jim!

Hmmm, maybe. Well Bones makes me eat too many vegetables.

How can you say keepin yhealthy is a pet peeve? Dammit Jim. Jus tryin to keep yaround
longer. Though God knows why, so annoyin, actin like a five year old all the time, makin messes
and not cleanin up after yself.

Oh, Im a five year old am I? Well youre the one who acts like an old man all the damn time.

I may be an old man, but I dont leave glops of toothpaste in the bathroom sink.

No but you always make me sleep on the wet spot.

Uhm, guys?

And thats worse than gettin drooled on all night darlin?

I dont drool!

Thhell if you dont Jimmy.

Yeah, well you snore like a hibernating bear.

Boys?

You leave the toilet seat down, Bones.

Thats me Jim.

Well fine, thats my pet peeve about you then.

How thou dost wound me, James.

Leave her outta this Jim-boy, shes not the one who burns water when she cooks.

That was one time and you distracted me Bones.

Oh and tother times Jim, the black cupcakes, the blackened meatloaf? Who ygonna blame for
that?

Fine, I cant cook for shit, but at least I dont sing in the shower.

Cause ycant sing for shit either Jim.

Oh and you can? You sound like a constipated frog when you sing.

Like a constipated fro- why you littleWell you do that stupid thing with your pinkie finger
when you drink outta glasses.

Well excuuuuuse me for having culture.

Culture Jim, ycall that culture? Ive got more culture in my back tooth.

If you mean that cheesy velvet painting of dogs playing poker then yeah, youre loaded with
culture.

Guys! Ill just see you tomorrow

 Day 19
Chapter Summary

All I'm gonna say is that you should all be thankful for YouTube, so I don't have to
sing these songs to you!

"Aw, you mean no more off-key warblin darlin?"

"Takes one to know one, Bones!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 19. Accepted OTP song?

This is gonna be a sappy day, darlin.

I think so too, Leo! Music is so powerful in the way that it can transport you back to a certain
place or time and make you feel emotions as strong as they day they happened.

Lets hear your kick ass picks, honey!

Well heres a surprise, I cant pick just one. My feel good song for you guys is Night Train by
Jason Aldean. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PLgUlRVLZE

I love that song too, darlin! specially the line, Got a moon and a billion stars That always
reminds me of Jim.

I know you honey, you got something angsty in there.

How about a break up song with hope? Look at You, by Big and Rich
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVcmrGCzZL8 I love the line, Baby when I look at you with
them baby blues cutting right through me. Lots of angst there!

We both know thats not the only ammo in the angst gun darlin

Dont make me do this Leo, please.

Cmon peaches, were right here, hit us with the big one.

I hate you both, just getting that out there now. Break up song is Say Something, by A Great Big
World. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVgixOjGhVU Dammit, guys, the first time I heard
this song I was driving in the car, alone thankfully, cause I started crying. It just broke my heart.
That line, Anywhere, I would have followed you, reminds me of Leo and how he would have
traveled the galaxy with you even though the thought of it scared the absolute fuck out him and
how god dammed sad it would be to LOSE a love like that.

Thats a rough one for sure darlin. Cmon group hug.

Can I tell you my song honey?

Sure Jim!

Its Marry Me by Train. Man, I love that song, its sappy and it just reminds me Bones!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU

I love that song too darlin.

Cmon guys, now youre makin me weepy again! Great song Jim! How about you Leo?

I have a bunch, like Dock of the Bay, I left my home in Georgia, headed for the Frisco Bay
Sittin here resting my Bones and this loneliness wont leave me alone And then theres Georgia
On My Mind, which you mention tother day darlin. I think my song for Jimmy and me is Georgia
Rain by Trisha Yearwood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9uFWZqME7A Hell, its about
young love and havin sex in a truck durin a rainstorm, whats not to love?

Love that song Leo!

Me too Bones!
 Day 20
Chapter Summary

This is shameless, self-promotion at its finest! I am so ashamed of myself, except that

I'm NOT!

"I agree, darlin!"

"Me THREE!!!"

OH, brother...

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 20. One other person likely to join in a threesome?

Guys, Im blushing and we havent even started yet.

Cmon darlin this is gonna be a lot of fun!

Yeah Bones, lots of dirty, hot, sweaty fun!

See heres the thing darlin, we talk about this a lot!

Seriously Leo? You and Jim talk a lot about threesomes?

You bet your sweet ass we do, honey!

The answer is unanimous Peaches.

Well, you gonna keep me waiting all night? Spill it!

Its you darlin!

NO!

YES!

Guys, it cant be me

A course it can, we agreed sugar.

Why the hell cant it be you honey? It sure as fuck isnt Spock!

You have NO idea how many people you are disappointing there Jim!

Yeah, well we chose you, so you it is!

Who would you have chosen darlin?

Cmon Bones, shes gonna say Scotty or Chekov.

Actually, Im not Jim. I would pick someone AU, like Joe Dredd or John Kennex or Reaper.

Im sensing a pattern here Bones

You asked, I answered.

Cmon darlin, ywouldnt want to disappoint us now would ya?

Leo, I-

Princessss.

Okay, fine, you win, I surrender!

Thats the spirit darlin!

 Day 21
Chapter Summary

Let your freak flag fly boys!!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 21. Any kinks they indulge in? (I already know the answer to this for most of you.)

Why are you still in bed darlin?

Go way Leo.

Princess, cmon time to rise and shine and get kinky.

Oh God, Jim!

Yeah, just like that baby.

Seriously guys?

OH! I get it, yhidin in here to avoid the topic of the day, huh darlin?

I definitely shouldnt be involved in this discussion guys, this is your own private business. Not
mine.

OH puh-LEASE, baby cakes, this topic is your bread and butter well so to speak, we havent
done any food play yet. When is that comin up?

Jimmmmmm!

Perfectly valid question, darlin. Id also like to know when Jimmys gonna tie me up.

Tie you up, Leo?!

Don go actin like this is the first time youve ever heard about this darlin. I see the tarnish on that
halo

How would you like to be tied up Leo? To the headboard? Spread eagle? Hogtied? Roped like a
steer? Shibari?

Hot damn princess, ALL of the above.

Shes not messin around Jim.

Nope, the cuffs are off now! Ahem, so whose gonna be brave enough to admit to Daddy kink,
boys? Hmmmm? Boooooys? Good little boys answer questions directed to them. Ah, two hands
in the air. Good boys!
Holy fuck Jim, maybe we shoulda let her sleep?

You should have let me sleeeeep! Wait, where have I heard that before??? Anywho, blindfolds,
earplugs, other forms of sensory deprivation??? Ahhh, of course Leo!

Gags? Really Jim?? Hmmm, Ill remember that one

Shes getting scarier by the second Bones.

Ya want me to gag you Jimmy? Christ on a cracker.

Public play?? OH GOD, twin blusheshave you done this bef- Wait, no, I really dont really
need to know. Stop nodding your heads at me guys. Just, uhmm, just dont get arrested, huh?
Yikes

What else Jim?

Uhmm well, how about role playing, Bones?

What kinda thing dya have in mind?

You know like youre the landlord and my rent is lateor youre a male stripper and Im a
client?

We can do that Jim.

Yeah?

Sure thing darlin.

What about you Bones?

Well how bout spankin, Jim?

You want me to spank you Bones? Seriously? Muuuuuutherfucker, that is so damn hot Bones.

I think you both are doing well enough in this discussion without me, so scram and let me go back
to sleep, k?

K darlin, but promise you wont come runnin if you hear strange noises.

OHHHH GOD! OUT now, both of you!

 Day 22
Chapter Summary

We're getting touchy-feely today!

"Darlin, we're touchy-feely everyday."

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 22. What would the other do without their partner?

Im confused about this question darlin.

Confused Leo?

Yeah, does it mean what would I do without Jimmy if he were out for the afternoon or what
would I do if he werent in my life at all?

Good question, I would say the latter simply because its harder. Plus I know what you would do
if you had an afternoon to yourself.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, youd sit and enjoy the quiet, with a nice tumbler of expensive bourbon and a stack of
totally boring medical journals.

Yprobably right darlin.

What would I do without Bones for an afternoon, honey?

Drive me absolutely bat-shit crazy Jim??

Oh you mean more bat-shit crazy than you already are?

Touche, el Capitan!

Play nice kids

Hit it Leo, what would you do without Jim?

Id probably be a full-fledged alcoholic by now darlin.

I respectfully disagree Doc! Try again.

Damn but youre pushy. K, hmmm. I would have stumbled my way through the Academy
somehow. Found myself a nice shrink to work on the aviophobia or petitioned my heart out for an
Earth posting. Why dontcha think I would have become a miserable drunk?

Youre too strong for that Leo. You did the single hardest thing a child can do when you helped
your father pass on in peace. You got on that shuttle to San Francisco by yourself. It scared the
fuck out of you, but you did it anyway. You got over your divorce on your own, in your own time.
You risked everything by smuggling your best friend on board the EnterpriseDo I really need to
go on, because I can! You are, quite simply the strongest person I know Leo. Truth be told I wish
I could be more like you.

Aww, darlin.

Shes right Bones.

And what about you, Captain Happy Pants? What would you have done without Leo?

I would have struggled through.

Struggled through what Jimmy?

Everythingclasses, one-night stands, bar fights...life. Bones is my anchor, keeping my feet on

the ground and reminding me whats most important to me; family, trust, love.

Hells teeth, Jim, now were all cryin.

 Day 23
Chapter Summary

This post should come with a warning from the American Dental Association!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 23. Favorite pet names?

Captain Happy Pants

Bones

Oh Captain, my Captain

Doctor Feelgood

Sunshine

Doctor Strangelove

Jimmy

Doctor Who

Peaches

Doctor Sexy Pants

Captain America

Horatio Hornblower

Emperor Tiberius

Caesar

Warp 10

Darlin

Captain Underpants

Doctor Danger

Peter Pan

Horatio Hypospray

Old Blue Eyes

Green Eyed Monster

Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain

Magnolia Blossom

Blue Eyed Boy

Doctor Horny

Captain Horny

My Husband

Your Husband

Uhm guys? This is so damn sweet, youre giving me cavities!

Darlin

Princess

Sugar

Sweet Pea

Peaches

Baby Cakes

Sugar Plum

Honey

But those are the names you both call me??

She catches on quick, huh Bones?

Prompt wasnt specific about WHO the pet names are for darlin!
 Day 24
Chapter Summary

First Date, first kiss, first time I just shut and listened!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 24. First date?

Bones, were you nervous on our first date?

Yeah, kid I sure was.

Why? Wed been best friends for years.

Ive never wanted somethin so bad in my entire life as I wanted you Jim. I was terrified that I
was gonna do somethin stupid or say somethin stupid.

I never worried about that, cause doing and saying stupid things is my life! I was nervous that
things would be different between us. I mean wed gone to dinner together a million times before
but I figured this would be stuffy and wed talk about feelings and I would just freak out and run.

That didnt happen though, did it Jim?

Nah, we just talked like we always do. The only difference was that we held hands on the way to
the restaurant.

And at the table too.

Yeah, that was nice Bones. I also liked when you fed me bites of your veal from your fork.

Id always wanted to that Jim, Im so glad you enjoyed it darlin.

The best part of the night was us fighting over who paid the check.

The BEST part of the night, Jim?

Well maaaaybe not the best part, but it was pretty damn funny when we finally decided to settle it
with an arm wrestling contest.

Didnt think this old man could beat ya, huh kid?

Come on Bones, you know I was too busy staring at your bulging bicep to have put up much of
a fight.

Please darlin, ya got yass handed to ya.

Boooones.

What, Jimmy?
It was the best night ever.

It was pretty damn perfect. Specially when we were walkin home and you started pointin out the
constellation Leo, an namin the stars that make it up and tellin me the myth behind the stars.

Youve always been my lion Bones, giving me the courage to be myself no matter what.

Is that how yfinally found the courage to kiss me under the stars Jim?

No Bones, Id wanted to kiss you, almost from the moment we met. That feeling got stronger
once Id finally gotten you calmed down enough on the shuttle that you werent threatening to
throw up every five minutes.

Yeah, THAT was sexy Jim.

Its always been you Bones, even when I was too stupid, or thick headed to tell you.

Youre awfully quiet over there, sugar.

Im just enjoying the story Leo.

Maybe crying a little bit too, honey?

Just a little Jim. I love that theres so much love in this room.

Youre such a romantic, darlin. In love with love.

Nah, just in love with the two of you being in love with each other, love!
 Day 25
Chapter Summary

It's all in the family today!

"Well, Bones is from the Deep South."

"Dammit, Jim!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 25. How are they received by the others family?

Start us off today Jim, what does your Mom think of Leo?

She loves him to DEATH, honey! Im the one who has a problem with their relationship.

Really Jim, why?

Cause they gang up on me. Mom tells an embarrassing story and then Bones will laugh his fool
head off and tell an embarrassing story, it can go on like that for hours.

Aww darlin, I didnt know that bothered ya.

Its fine Bones, its just that Mom refuses to believe the embarrassing stories I tell about you.

There arent any embarrassin stories about me Jim. Cmon now.

Oh really Bones, how quickly you forget the I have a boner speech.

Jim, thats a product of yoveractive imagination.

Oh really, would you like to see the holovid?

WAIT, theres video of that night?

Yeah honey, I knew I need the leverage one day.

Oh my God JIM! Youre gonna show me right?

Fuck me blue, Jim, youre not really gonna show her

OH HO, so now youre admitting this really happened Bones.

Fine Jim, fine, you win. No more embarrassin stories in exchange for the copies of that vid, k?

Jim, dont make the deal until I get to see the video!

Done, Bones.
Dammit Jim!

Dont sulk princess, it causes wrinkles.

Bite me Leo! OW, stop doing that!

Well stop sayin that darlin.

Fine, just tell me about Miss Elizabeth and Jim.

Gram is Jims biggest fan. She knows the struggles I went through when I was married before,
how hard it was for me to open myself up to someone again. She was the one who pointed out I
might have feelins for my totally annoyin roommate.

I love her a lot too Bones. She taught me how to make peach cobbler and did her best not to yell
at me too much when I set the kitchen curtains on fire.

You set Miss Elizabeths house on fire, Jim?

Yeah, I was cooking-

Well that explains it.

Dont you start in with that, honey. Just cause youre some kind of Bobby Flay an shit.

Jiiiiiiim, Im sorry, I know cooking is a sore spot for you. We can work on it, you know?

Darlin I dont think thats the best idea yever had.

Actually it is Leo. You have that medical conference thing to go to next week. Jim and I can work
on it then.

Really, youd do that for me?

Of course, Jim. I have feeling Leo is the problem here.

Howdya figure that, sugar?

Youre a constant distraction, Bones.

I am?

Hes right Leo! Plus youre all kinds of handsy!

You are handsy, Bones.

You askin me to keep mhands to mself, Jim?

Not on your life, old man.

Old man? Ill show you whose old

 Day 26
Chapter Summary

You have the right to invoke my protective kink!

"She said kink, Bones."

"You're such an infant."

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 26. Best protective moment for each of them?

As both of you know I have a huge protection kink when it comes to the two of you. I dont like it
when other writers kill you, maim you or break you two up.

And yet you have no compunction about doing that yourself darlin.

Hey, Ive only ever broken you guys up. Never killed or hurt you. Id rather chop off my own
hand and you did get back together at the end. Man did writing that break my heart. Jim what
would you say your most protective moment was with Leo?

I hate this question honey, just for the record.

I know what youre gonna say Jim.

Yeah you do, its when I died to save you Bones. Pure and simple, I could handle dying if you
lived.

Dammit Jim. Mine acourse was gettin you on board the Enterprise, hidin you from Spock and
tryin to take the blame for it all with Captain Pike.

How about Leo taking all those extra classes so he could be there to take the Kobayashi Maru
with you, Jim? Or the way Jim sat and talked with you through that whole shuttle ride to
California so that you wouldnt lose your bourbon-soaked mind, Leo?

Good choices darlin!

Weve always got each others backs, right Bonesy?

You got it, kid!

 Day 27
Chapter Summary

We're talking about double dating and my pick for the boys just might surprise
everyone!

"I still think I stole your answer honey."

I'm not that easy Jim!

"Darlin, I'm just gonna plead the 5th Amendment on that one, 'k?"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 27. What other ship would they double date with?

Ok guys, this should be a fun topic!

Well yeah darlin, cause yknow who youd pick.

Indeed I do know Leo, but thats beside the point, who do you want to go on a double date with
you and Jim?

You got me thinkin about AU couples darlin.

Im finally rubbing off on you, huh?

You rub off with us every day, honey.

Thats rub off ON you, Jimnot with you.

Dont worry honey, itll be our little secret.

Stay on target here Jim. I would love goin out with Joe Dredd and Cassandra Anderson or how
about Eomer and Faramir.

Wow, Leo! Eomer and Faramir would be a lot of fun to hang out with!! I agree with you there.
Hell, I wouldnt mind being the peanut butter in that sandwich.

Seriously honey. Youd dump Bones n me for them?

God NO, Jim! Never in a million years. I would love to talk with them about horses and things
like that.

Youre allergic to horses darlin.

Well it wont make me sneeze to talk about horses, now will it? What about you Jim? Who would
you double date with?
Im gonna steal your answer, honey and go with John Kennex and Dorian from Almost
Human.

You think that was my answer Jim?

Of course it was honey!

Why would you want to go out with them?

John reminds me a lot of Bones, hes grumpy, but has a heart of gold. Dorian is really snarky like
me. I think it would be a lot of fun!

So whore ygonna pic now that Jim stole your answer, darlin?

Leo, Jim did not steal my answer!

Yeah, I did honey!

Of course you didnt, Captain Underpants! My answer is John Watson and Sherlock Holmes. I
think you will both like Sherlock. He reminds me a lot of Khan, only hes not homicidal, although
I suppose he fringes on sociopathic, but hes cute as hell! Youll like John too, hes sweet and
funny.

You want us to go out with a crazy person, sugar?

Uhhmm, Leo, I hate to break this to you, but you live with a crazy person!

What does livin with you haveta do with this conversation darlin?

Retract the claws, Horatio Hypospray.

I LOVE that nickname honey, thanks a million for that one!

Anytime Jim! So have we wrapped this one up to everyones satisfaction?

Don know about yall but I havent been satisfied all day.

Well thats my cue to leave. Later boys!

 Day 28
Chapter Summary

We're talking about fan videos!

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 28. Favorite fanvid?

GUYS! I am really excited to talk about this topic today. My favorite fanvid that I want to share
with everyone includes video of the two of you, but it also includes video of the other Jim and
Bones.

Ymean the Jim and Bones from Ambassador Spocks universe?

I do Leo. We talked a few weeks back about hitting the fourth wall and Im going to explain that
and then Im going to do it again, because the time has come to tell this particular origin story.
The fourth wall is a line we draw between a story and reality. The fourth wall is considered
broken when a character acknowledges that they are fictional. In this case, Im breaking the
fourth wall now with you two because I want to talk about DeForest Kelley.

He was the amazing actor who played Bones, right honey?

Yes Jim, he was. To be honest boys, if it werent for him and his brilliant portrayal of Doctor
McCoy, the three of us wouldnt be here talking like this today. I was diagnosed with asthma
when I was three years old and let me tell you, 1970s medicine didnt have a lot of good ways to
deal with this condition. I spent a lot of time in the hospital and being driven back and forth to
respiratory therapy sessions in the middle of the night as a kid. Lets just say my doctor wasnt the
most benevolent doctor in the galaxy when it came to dealing with a scared, sick child. Needless
to say, Doctor McCoy became a hero to me back then. He was grumpy, but always kind, always
put everyone elses safety before his own and he saved peoples lives. I knew in my 10 year old
mind that if anyone could cure my breathing problems it was him. As I grew up, I developed a
different sort of relationship with the good doctor

You wanted to jump Bones bones, honey?

Yfull of elegance and class Jim.

Hes right Leo, I did in fact want to jump him, still do, truth be told! So anyway, the video I am
sharing was done for the Jim and Bones group over on LiveJournal. This is the link to their page
if anyone is interested in joining: http://jim-and-bones.livejournal.com/

This is the link for the video! http://vimeo.com/11379970

Thats a lot of fun honey. I like the other Jim and Bones.

Can we share a video too, darlin?

Sure Leo!
We were up for a long time last night watchin these videos online! Okay, this is the link and its a
lotta fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jmeweGbuXg

That is a lot of fun guys! Have I told you both lately how much I love you guys for working on this
project with me?

Yfeelin a little sad cause were almost done here, huh sugar plum?

Yup, I sure am!

Dont worry honey, we both have lotsa fun ideas for adventures to come!

Why does that scare me a little, Jim?

 Day 29
Chapter Summary

We're selling McKirk today!

"Can you please put us on your 'Do Not Call List' and for the love of ALL that is
holy, STOP callin' during Jeopardy."

"What is, you're the biggest dork alive, Bones?"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 29. Sell this ship to me. Convince me to like it.

Alright boys, were in the home stretch here! What we have to do today is to convince other
people to join us here in the land of McKirk.

One of us, one of us

Jims right, everyone should McKirk.

I agree Leo, but thats not much of a sales pitch. Why should the Spirk, Spones, Scones or Jorian
people come play with us?

Scones darlin, isnt that a breakfast thingy?

Hahaha, Leo, its the name for people who ship you and Scotty.

Hmm, interestin darlin.

Dont get any ideas Bones!

As if I could ever leave you Jim.

SEE, thats what Im talking about guys, that sticky sweet, smarmy stuff that makes you two who
you are! Thats the reason people should check us out. Youre both sweet and brilliant people
who have had their unfair share of misery and heartbreak. Despite that you both overcome
yourselves and your own worst fears to be together. Best friends, lovers, colleagues, husbands.
Its perfect, youre perfect together.

You mean like the way Bones always grumbles at me when I dont take care of myself or get my
ass handed to me?

Something like that Jim! He always takes care of you, also theres the fact that Leo could never
leave you behind.

Well a course not darlin, theres no way in hell Im trekking through space in a tin can without
Jim.

Ditto for me Bones!

The idea that Jim could and would leave space for you Leo, that says a lot right there! Thats the
reason everyone should join us here! You both know youre nothing without the other. And yeah,
we love to kill you both off, break you up and slap you back together again, torture you and
indulge in a little BDSM, but hey, its all in good fun!

Yeah darlin, hot, sweaty, dirty, kinky fun!

 Day 30
Chapter Summary

Time to say goodbye.

"It's not goodbye, darlin, just so long for now.

"Group hug everyone!"

MCKIRK 30 DAY CHALLENGE

Day 30. Anything youd like. Ficlet, rec, meta. Go.

I have been dreading this day all week guys. How are we going to say to goodbye?

Its not really goodbye, honey, just the end of this series of chats.

You cant possibly be that sad darlin, Ive heard a rumor about the next fic prompt and then
theres that top secret project you and I have been chattin about.

What top secret project Bones?

Cant tell ya Jim, if I told ya, Id haveta kill ya.

Come on you two, just a tiny hint, come on, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese?

Hes gonna keep at us until we tell him Leo, like a tick on a slow movin hound dog.

Oh God, youre picking up his Southern metaphors, honey.

This new idea is all yours Leo, go ahead and tell him!

K, well if youre sure, darlin. Im gonna be a stripper, Jim.

WAIT, WHAT??

Yup, gonna be gyratin mself all over the stage.

You can gyrate Bones?

A course I can Jim, but me dancin might not be the biggest surprise here.

Its a pretty big surprise Bones, what could be bigger than that, well except for your,
mmmmpppff!

Oh boy, hahaha, heres the thing Jim, youre gonna strip too.

OH NO, no way. I dont gyrate.

Of course you do Jim, you know when you do that thingyou know THAT thing?

Yeah Bones, I know THAT thing, but theres no way the two of you are getting me on stage.

Oh no, Jimmy? You dont think I can pull this off? Really? You wont do this little, tiny thing for
me?

Ill think about it honey, but I make no guarantees. Now whats this about a new prompt youre
gonna work on?

I saw something about it this morning and its 30 days of Fariy Tales. I am very excited about this
one!

Wait, youre gonna turn us into Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, honey?

You bet your sweet ass I am, Jim! The three of us are gonna sit down and sketch out the Bones,
haha of each story like we always do and well see how it goes. Were also gonna need to Bone(s)
up on some of these Fairy Tales, because there are some on this list Ive never heard of or read.
The one thing I can guarantee now is that neither of you will be in a dress, well except in Little
Red Riding Hood, but thats part of the story anyway.

I trust you, honey. Im sure it will be great!

Thanks Jim! I also have one other idea in my head that neither of you know about yet. I think
youre gonna like this one Leo!

So spill, sugar.

Youre gonna be Julius Caesar, just in time for the Ides of March.

OHHHH, cause Karl Urban also played Caesar, right darlin?

Hitting the fourth wall again, Leo? Yes, that is the reason why! I need to do a bit more research on
the history.

Who am I gonna be honey?

Im not sure yet Jim, that will come with more research and you and I will chat about it.

Im likin that idea a lot, darlin.

Thanks. Leo! Is there anything you two would like to say to all the readers whove stuck with us
through this whole thing?

I wanna say Thank you to everone who took the time to write and say how much they enjoyed
readin about Jim an me. I know youve made some really great friends as a result of writin this and
it makes me so happy to hear you laugh at the funny comments people leave you darlin.

Good point Leo!! I really have to thank redford and Joja for all of their love and support!

I wanna thank you honey for giving Bones and me the chance to tell our stories and for giving
me editorial control over the things you write!

You want to THANK me for giving you editorial control Jim? As I recall, CAPTAIN, I wasnt
given much of a choice, was I? It was that or the brig if Im not mistaken, hmmm?

Stop exaggerating honey, I wouldnt have left you in brig, well not for long anyway. OH and I
want to thank all of the McKirkers for being the most warm and loving fandom. You guys are
amazing people. Bones and I enjoy reading all of things you write about us!

Youre right Jim, this community is filled with some really amazing people!

So before we go, Im just gonna thank the two of you for sticking with me. Leo, you are my moon
and stars and Jim you are my sun. I fall in love with the two of you over and over sometimes
multiple times per day. In the words of Victor Hugo, What a grand thing, to be loved! What a
grander thing still, to love!

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!