After a few weeks off from the picks, fueled in part by a crazy end of college football work schedule,

Jenna being awake on my nights I had time to do it, and general fantasy frustration, I have triumphantly
returned to guide you through what will be a mostly uneventful final week before the playoffs. With our
2 top teams locked in, there is a five-way tie for the final four spots. Unfortunately for people wanting
drama in Week 13, it really only comes down to Ryan vs. Kenny. The two lowest point total 7-5 teams
play each other, meaning one of them will lose. Even if the rest of the 7-5 teams lose, they will all hold
at least a 100 point swing in the tie breaker over the loser of Ryan v. Kenny, so that ones really for all the
marbles.

Last week I continued my fantasy failure this season, going 3-4 in the picks to bring my season total to an
ugly 43-41. Matt took home the prize, being the only person to take himself to finally win one and
netting a 5-2 record on the week. Rolando still leads the way on the season with a total of 49 right!

Last weeks Pickup of the Week goes to CJ with the New England D grabbing him 21 points on the week.
Last weeks Cmon Man Moment goes to Kevin Keller, who benched at 39.86 point Phillip Rivers and still
somehow netted 161 points to take down Kyles 8-game winning streak, bravo Kevin! A little note for
everyone, this will be the last Dodgeball themed picks, as I will continue the tradition of writing all of the
December picks to the Christmas theme!

Can Rolando put up a big week and catch Kyle for the regular season points title? Will Kenny continue
his improbable path to the winners bracket? Read on to find out!

Week 13 RvP Power Rankings (Final Edition!):

Thus marks the end of the power rankings. Give me some feed back and let me know if youd like to see
them return next season or be relegated to the dusty pages of RvP fantasy history!

1. OuchtownPopulationU! (E) Kyles 8-game winning streak fell to the unlikeliest hero in Kevin
Kellers Bold Strategy. But fear not, even on a rainy day our fan-favorite Eeyore put up a solid
150 total and has locked in his Winners Bracket place and a first-round bye. All thats left to put
the cherry on top of Kyles fairy tail RvP season is to score 60 more than Rolando and secure the
$25 regular season points victory.

2. Skillz That Killz (E) The implosion of the Will Fuller TD train has done nothing to derail
Rolandos well-balanced fantasy juggernaut. At 8-4 hes had near as dominant a season as Kyle
and is the only other team to have a playoff spot locked up headed into this week. A first-round
bye is also a near lock, but a big week by MJ has an outside shot of stealing it out from under the
1-time RvP champ.

3. Remember the 5 Ds (+3) Perhaps the biggest roller coaster team in RvP this season, MJs
squad can just as easily put up 95 as it can 155. With 3 straight solid weeks under his belt
though maybe things are finally smoothing out. Only a cupcake matchup with a meatball..er I
mean Maball stands between Jones and a week 14 date with the worst winners bracket team!
4. BeaverTranquillizers (+1) While Micahs AP for Hilton trade has been a ho-hum of nothing-
ness for both sides, his Kamara for Tyreek Hill trade has left him wallowing with fantasy what-
ifs. Last week it truly came back to haunt him, as Kamara led his new team to victory over
Micah and ended his 6-game winning streak with an incredible 40 point performance. Fear not
though, Micahs team is also a lock for a playoff spot and a chance at a second fantasy title.

5. Nice & Deep Like (-2) AP is OLD, Maclin is OLD, Forte is OLD, Reed is perpetually hurt, and Alex
Smith is just lost. A hot start for CJs squad has seriously fizzled and he comes in to a near must
win matchup with me if he wants to guarantee his spot in the winners bracket. Lucky for him I
havent broken 109 points since week 6..so it wont take much!

6. Garrr! Bollocks! (+1) Chris may not be making the winners bracket, but hes rocking and
rolling to the tune of a 127-point average over the past 6 weeks and is the odds-on favorite to
take down the losers bracket. If only his steal of the draft had panned out better than the
current 21st ranked QB in RvP, he may have made the cut!

7. Team Blitzkrieg (-1) Just 4 picks prior I called MJ the biggest roller coaster team in RvP this
season, but Ryan may actually take home that prize. Try this on for sizeRyan has 6 weeks
where hes scored below 100, and 6 weeks wheres he scored above 120. With a faceoff against
Kenny this week his playoff hopes literally hang on this being one of those 120+ weeks!

8. Troop 417 (+2) Ive hated this squad all season based on the sole fact that its 7-5 and on the
cusp of a winners bracket birth despite being outscored by its opponents 1370 to 1299. What I
cant deny is that Kennys top two scores of the season came in weeks 11 and 12, and this
wouldnt be the first time this 2-time RvP champion has put together a stretch run.
9. L for LOVE (-1) Jenna has thrown up sub-100 scores 3 of the past 4 weeks and is standing on
the edge of disaster that could send her to her first ever Sacko. Come on, Jenna. Its time to
put your mouth where our balls our and experience one!

(After Jenna and I won in Week 11, Snapchat decided to celebrate for us with a Dodgeball filter!)

10. Bold Strategy (+3) Kevin K. has won 2 of his last 3 including a 160-151 win over the top team in
the league last week to bring himself within closing distance of avoiding the Sacko. His
matchup against Rolando is not must-win this week, but a good performance will go a long way
towards ensuring his losers bracket appearance. In short.. Go you crazy son of a bitch
GOOOOO!

11. Daj Maball (E) Matts plummet of 5 straight and 7 out of 8 came to a halt last week when he
took down VonHugen Balls in a close one. His bad-luck streak has continued as in week 11 his
star waiver-wire addition Chris Thompson went down for the season while blocking for his own
quarterback. Matt will need a solid performance this week to avoid the unfortunate
circumstance of going from 3-0 to the Sacko.

12. OHoulihans Heroes (-3) Another team that has lost 6 out of 7, Scott has gone from winners
bracket darling to a possible Sacko appearance. If he cant pull out a win against a high flying
Harcarian Hero team, its lights out for patches.
13. Fuckin Chuck Norris (-1) According to Yahoos recap on me last week:
Fuckin Chuck Norris underachieved for the ninth time this season, including the last six
weeks in a row, scoring 95.04 points against a projected 112.55 this week.

This says all you need to know about my team this season. Ive found that if you have a goal,
you might not reach it. But if you dont have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta
tell yait feels phenomenal!

14. VonHugen Balls (E) The rookie Powell has stepped up his game the last few weeks, but faces a
tough matchup against Kyle if he wants to avoid the Sacko in his debut season.
Fuckin Chuck Norris vs. Nice & Deep Like:
Despite scoring just 204 points over the past 2 weeks, Im on a 2 game winning streak coming into this
matchup with CJ, who has lost 3 straight. Regardless of the outcome, CJ almost assuredly makes the
winners bracket. With the recent power of Captain Sucktastic on my side though, I shall conquer all and
push my win streak to 3 in a row! Fuckin Chuck Norris!

(Do not fail me Captain)

OuchtownPopulationU! vs. VonHugen Balls:

Team VonHugen Balls has improved in recent weeks but still remains firmly in the RvP basement with
very little chance of escaping the Sacko. He faces off against a Kyle-led team that has been on a roll
since week 1 and shows NO signs of slowing down. Led by his best player, Greg The Leg Zuerline, Kyle
is shattering those kicking records left and right. Kyle destroyed the single week record with a total of 7
field goals in week 4 (also taking home the points record @33), remains ahead of the infamous Multiple
Scoregasms team for season average fgs per week, and is blowing away the competition with an average
of 14.16 kicker points a week. I dont know that I have a player on my team averaging that! So look for
Greg The Leg to give das boot to VonHugen Balls and take home that first round bye in style!
OuchtownPopulationU!

(Throw one back for Greg!)

Remember the 5 Ds vs. Dodge Maball:
Robby Anderson may be a star but most everyone else on this Matty-Y led team is the hot garbage that
remains when you lose half your team to injury. As for MJ, what can I say? The dude puts up 140-point
weeks like its his job and hes going to be a force to be reckoned with come the playoffs. After
Remember the 5 Ds goes all Dude I Definitely just Dominated your Degenerate group of fantasy Duds
on Matty-Y, hell be rolling into the winners bracket to do some DAMAGE! Remember the 5 Ds!

Beaver Tranquillizers vs. L for LOVE:

A winner of 6 straight before Chris went HAM on him last week, Micah comes into this match with a
limp after trading away the Kamara-juice that kept his fantasy roster going all season. The last time
these two Lewis led teams faced off, Jenna edge Micah out 155-145, and I think she has it in her to do it
again! Thats right yall I spurn that grade school bromance shit., here in real life it goes as following. If I
want my sweet dick to feel like its magic anytime soon then its definitely hoes before bros and an L for
LOVE win! But just so you know Jenna, if you fail me I shall revert to the following:

Team Blitzkrieg vs. Troop417:

This matchup pits the lowest scoring 7-5 teams against each other in what will most likely be the
deciding match for the winners bracket. Unless this is a high scoring affair, the winner will definitely
move on while the loser will most likely take their place atop the losers bracket with a bye. It pains me
to say it, but with Kennys team rolling the past 2 weeks (134 pt average) and Ryans team crawling to
the finish line (78 pt average) this one looks all but locked up for 2-time champ Troop 417. Dammit
Kenny! You know what? You're adopted! Your parents don't even love you!
OHoulihans Heroes vs. Garrr! Bollocks!:
With 22, 23 and 40 out of Kamara the past 3 weeks, Chris has become a forced to be reckoned with as
he takes on a sputtering OHoulihans Heroes team desperately in need of a win to escape the Sacko.
Outside of spectacular matchups for Thielen and Howard, there isnt much going on Scotts team to give
me any hope he can pull off this upset. Look for Chris the Pirate to take home the W! Waittheres a
guy in our league who dresses like a pirate?

(Garrrrrrr.I be the dread pirate Christopher!)

Skillz That Killz vs. Bold Strategy:

Im not sure if it was on purpose, but it sure was a Bold Strategy for Kevin K. to score under 105 nine
out of twelve weeks this season. That being said, dropping 160 to break Kyles 8 game winning streak
has to be one of my favorite wins of the season! This week Kevin K. takes on a Rolando led team that is
almost as good as Kyles team, and I really want to pick him to win. However, I know the best way to
help Kevin succeed is by doing the following. Skillz That Killz with the W!