To: Dr.

Cecelia Musselman
From: Isabella Zhang
Subject: Peer review for Arnelle Downing
9/17/2017

Summary
The author was surprised when coming to Northeastern many
assumptions were automatically made about her and was also not expecting
to deal with uncultured classmates, but its those classmates and their
dated ideologies that have shaped the educational path the author is on
now. The author believes that these ideologies can be traced all the way
back to Darwin and Freud, both of whom are very influential in the biology
field. These ideologies and biases of society about race has led left
significant impressions on the author and has fueled the authors
motivation for accomplishing the goals they have set out for themselves.

Major Points

I thought the sections were split up well and I liked the transitions
and the headings from the different chunks. I thought the tone was a little
strong overall and a lot of jargon was used so I think the author should keep
in mind the audience. The paper felt more like a personal paper rather than
an intellectual autobiography. Some areas of the paper felt aggressive and
the phrasing used I thought was questionable for a classroom assignment.

Aside from the Darwin and Freud sections, during the authors
personal narrative, it seemed to focus more on the development of the
author rather than an intellectual path. There did not seem to be much
focus or mention of significant classes or specific experiences at
Northeastern that left an impression, it felt very broad and general about
the authors experiences at Northeastern rather than classroom and
intellectual experiences.
Minor Points

There is no heading, acknowledgements or the authors name.

 Advanced Writing in the Sciences
Northeastern University
September 20, 2017

To: Dr. Cecelia Musselman

From: Ryan Beiter

Subject: Peer Review Arnelle Downing

Summary:

The author is a young, black woman from Philadelphia. Upon moving to Northeastern,
she encountered unexpected cultural differences, resulting in her frustration, as she realized that
both her professors and fellow students were making assumptions about her and her intelligence
based on her gender and race. She also becomes aware that she has an aggressive personality,
despite her desire to avoid conflict. The author then reflects on early evolutionary justifications
for racism and sexism that she has encountered throughout her studies, originating in the work of
Charles Darwin. As a fellow scientist, she struggles with understanding his pursuit to explain
things through science, while hating him for the harm his conclusion brought to the world. The
author then concludes by resolving to follow her dreams despite the systemic biases she must
face.

Major Points:

The overall tone of the paper is very personal and very engaging, but at times can be a bit
overaggressive. The author brings up many topics that are interesting and relatable, but often
brushes over them too quickly when the could greatly benefit from being expanded upon.
Choosing one instance in which she faced discrimination after moving to college and elaborating
in detail, rather than briefly listing several instances. could help to put the reader in the authors
shoes and help them better understand her situation.
While the authors emotional journey is very interesting to read, her intellectual journey
is discussed very little, as well as the effect of theorists on her field. It is worth noting that the
term forensic pathologist is mentioned only once, and in the last sentence. She briefly
discusses Darwin, and Freud even more briefly, but does not elaborate on how they impacted her
field. While she briefly discusses some social implications of Darwins work, she does not
explain in what way these ideas affected evolutionary biology, or how they eventually came to
fester.

Minor Points:

In the first paragraph, there should be a comma after Before coming to Northeastern
University. The sentence starting Only thing I knew, should probably start with a The.
When the author mentions these two parts of my identity, she should specify of which two
parts she is speaking, as that has not yet been made clear at this point in the paper.
 In the second paragraph, the sentence that begins But after some reflective thinking,
should be merged with the previous sentence with a comma, as it is a continuation on that
thought and but is a conjunction so should not normally be used to begin sentences.
In the second last paragraph, the sentence that begins Because, while I feel, should just
begin While I feel, as this is a much stronger start to the sentence, and the because serves no
purpose.