RUNNING HEAD: Research Paper 1

Pacific Oaks College

HD 300

Spring 2016- Carla Franklin

Research Paper

Rebecca De Leon
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Topic: The Importance of creating and building a strong relationship with young adults.

My topic is about the importance of creating and building a strong relationship with

young adults. The ages that are considered young adults range from 18-year-old- 25-year-old.

It is around this age that some individual transitions from the teenage years to adulthood, this is

the time most of human beings try to find themselves and true identities in friendships,

relationships, family, acquaintances at school and in workplaces. It is around the time when most

people experience an emotional, dysfunctional relationship with a significant other, and or also

face financial problems. Although not everyone experiences those type of issues the majority that

do experience such obstacles and trauma don't know how to deal with it or how to proceed life

looking forward past the obstacle. The question I am hoping to answer writing this paper is how

can one be helpful to a person experiencing obstacles in their lives that are keeping them from

enjoying life and are keeping them from growing as individuals and becoming a better person,

not only for themselves but for those around them. What are some techniques and tools that can

be used to catch young adults attention about helping them cope with issues such as: stress,

anger, emotional distress and financial problems. I want to narrow it down to two different types

of conflicts: economic stress and emotional distress. I believe that around this time of life is

when individuals starting to live the prime time of your life. At this age the young adult is filled

with dreams of his or her own life without a clue of what life really has stored for them. As an

18-year-old grows older and their dreams and goals dont to go as the way they planned, they

become exposed to stress, they are fragile to giving up on life and very easy for them to get lost

in between the gaps. One of the reasons why I am very interested in writing this paper on this

topic is due to a personal experience Ive encountered which is why I want an in-depth

discussion on this topic. It is also a topic that relates not only to my life and human development
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but others that have not yet and will maybe experience such obstacles in their lives. In my

experience, when I turned 18 year old I was legally considered an adult but emotionally, and

financially I was still yet a teen. As human beings, Im a strong believer that we are all different

and we all mature differently depending on our, gender, cultural environment, life situations and

life experiences. As a child, I was raised by my grandparents in a different country with different

cultural beliefs but as an adolescent I was raised with my mother here in the United states with

different cultural beliefs. Now, with just my transition from my early childhood to my young

adolescent years in a different country, different language and different relationships was just a

huge drastic change for me.

I was sent away to live with my grandparents when I was 4 years old. I lived in El

Salvador for 6 years of my life (my childhood). It is there where I when to school and did my

elementary years. Being that it was El Salvador I learned how to read, write, and speak Spanish;

Spanish became my primary language. Like most of us know. Childhood is probably the most

important years of one's life. It is the childhood where one can learn about their heritage, culture,

and the importance of knowing the differences around oneself and others. Living in El Salvador

for 6 years of my life (my childhood) made such an impact in my life that up to this day I

continue to see the difference it made for me as a child. As a child I was able to learn a different

culture than my own, I was able to learn more about my mother and the family side of my

mother. It is where I learned most of my talent that I now know I gain and learn as a child that

can reflect now as an adult and those experiences and lessons learned from my childhood have

helped me a lot through my difficult times and my struggles. When I moved back to America to

reunited with my mother, I was 9 years old (my young adolescent years) with that being said and

my past life in El Salvador you can only imagine how hard it was for a girl to survive a world
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where English is the primary league. Speaking English language to survive school here in the

United States was a must, at least in my school. I am sure now children and students are provided

with bilingual classes that can help them understand school material. Communication became a

barrier for me as an adolescent. My early adolescent years and teenage years became a little less

hectic for me as my relationship with family members and those around me became closer. Even

then, when I turned 18 I felt like I was not yet ready to be called and adult. There was still

something about life I didn't quite understand, and I know I was not the only one who felt that

way because I knew some of my peers felt left out but for different reasons. According to

Eriksons 8 stages Identity vs. Role confusion play an important role in one's life. That is when

children need to cope with new social and academic demands. Success leads to a sense of

competence, while failure results in feeling of inferiority. Therefore, it is very important for

teens to successfully transition from this stage to the next stage which is Intimacy vs. Isolation

stage, where young adults need to form intimate, loving relationships with other people.

Success leads to strong relationships, while failure results in loneliness and isolation. Knowing

and learning about this topic can not only be interesting for those who are or have experienced a

situation in their life where they have felt alone. I believe we are part of this world to help one

another and look out for each other to help us become better people; better citizens. Learning

about such stages and how we can overcome those issues can help us help others and the

community by helping them build relationships and gain knowledge of some sense that can be

beneficial for them in the future. Building a strong relationship with young adults can help create

an environment for them where they feel included and part of this society because a lot of the

teens and young adults are not feeling the same response as others in different communities are

feeling. Creating and building trust is the key when dealing, working with teens and young adults
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if we want to help them become better people we must first do our part in building that strong

relationship we want them to have with us as the other elements are of a process that involves

working together as independent individuals. Now, I will be sharing some interviewers

questions and answers about their experiences in young adulthood and caregivers.

I0 am going to interview a mother, a daughter and a son. Mother Leonor is 46 years old,

daughter Naomi is 17, and son Ricardo is 18 years old. Leonor is a mother of 3 teenagers and a

school age child who is 7 years old, Jacob. Leonor has been raising her kids along with her

husband Ricky and they sure have had a handful to deal with the past years, but they wouldn't

have it any other way, they said.

Leonor has also been a Sunday school teacher in the past. She has taught a group of teenage girls

about love, friendships, relationships, life experiences, and daily life issues as a teenage girl and

family love ones.

As i interviewed Leonor I asked her about her experience raising three teenagers. Her response to

that question had to do with the experience she had once teaching young teenagers at Sunday

school long ago. Raising three teenage boys, teenage girl and raising a school age kid has been

a handful but wouldn't change it for anything in the world. Her experience at the Sunday church

gave her a sense of what to expect when her own children grew up to be teenagers just like the

ones she taught at school. Leonor's children were young at the time therefore she had less to

worry around those times of her teaching. This was a summary of what Leonor had for answer to

my topic The importance of building a strong relationship with young adults. Leonor had her

side of raising her teenagers, but her son and daughter had another.

Leonors questions:

1)How has it being like raising three teenagers/ young adults and a school age child?
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2)Has it been any different from the experience teaching teenagers at Sunday School? Was it or

is it the same as teaching teenagers as raising your own?

Ricardo's Questions:

1) How has your relationship been with your mom and dad for the past years being a teenager?

2) Have you/ Did you feel supported by them when you transition High School to College?

3) What strategies do you think school, mentors can offer when not feeling supported by parent

or family members?

Naomi's Questions:

1) How is it like being the only teenage daughter in the family?

2) Would you have liked to have a sister your age instead of brothers your age?

3) What would have been different for you? The they should have/ they shouldn't have.

I separated questions depending the answers I wanted to receive and from the person i wanted

the answers from. Of Course, as I explained mother Leonor about my topic and she had a lot to

say. Knowing she is former Sunday teenage school teacher and a mother of three teenagers/

young adults herself but the teenagers answers were the ones that interested me of why is it

important to build a strong relationship with young adults. And so I divided my eight questions:

two questions for mother Leonor (46) years old

three for teenager/ young adult Ricardo (18) years old

three for teenage Naomi (17) years old.

Teenager Interviewed: Sofia Marquez

Age: 17-year-old
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This teenager was interview at her house on Saturday March 18th,2016.

Questions:

1) How does it feel being a senior at your High School and at the corner of graduation?

Describe your experiences as a senior and how have they been for you. Either negative

experiences or positive experiences.

A: It has been a good experience attending to a public High School these past four years.

Sharing memories, I will never forget with my friends Ive had over in Middle School all the

way through High School. I can say it is a sad but happy moment for me because this is where

we are basically considered adults like my English teacher tells us. We will no longer have a

set schedule of classes to take but more of being on our own. I am really enjoying my senior year

right now attending all of my senior activities and field trips. I say I have had a pretty great

experience in my High school years and even now as a senior I have come along away building

relationships with my teachers especially my English teacher. I have also experienced High

School drama last year and maybe that can be a negative experience for me. My best friend

suddenly stopped talking to me but I think I might know the reason why and it has to do with me

being on top of my academic work and always trying to push her to follow up with hers without

realizing that is not what she really wants for herself. She does not know what she wants to do

when she gets out of High School and she is thinking of just moving back to Mexico to work

with her grandparents. It really bothers me at first, but after having this conversation with my

mother she made me understand that in life sometimes we dont keep the same friendships we

once had as children. Laura had been my friend since kindergarten, so it did hurt me when she

suddenly stopped talking to me. Over all It has been a good experience and I am really going to

miss it once I graduate.

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2) Have your High School teachers been of a great influence in your life? Being said that

you are on top of your academics rather than others at your school.

A: I want to say yes, but it is not completely true. I think the people that have been more of an

influence in my life have been my older cousins who have pushed me to do good in school ever

since I can remember. They have always been there asking me How is school going? If you are

struggling, please let us help you so you won't have to go through what we went through. I have

heard some of their experiences and they sound horrible. They have explained to me how life is

after you graduate from High School and how difficult it is for a college student to go on his own

without any guidance and that is why it is important to keep a good relationship with your

college counselors in High School and teachers who are willing to help you and give you advice

before graduating.

3) Has it been difficult for you to keep up with your academics and your personal

relationships with your classmates and friends?

A: I have always been involved in sports. Ive played Volleyball and Softball here in High

School and it is not until this last year that I decided to just enjoy my last year in High School

enjoying my last few classes here and my senior dances, activities, and fieldtrips. The good thing

about my High School is that most of my teachers understand and allow me to catch up on some

of my school work because of away games our teams would have and now that I think about it,

that is what helped me and motivated me to continue High School. I know a lot of my classmates

started giving up on school and I think it is because they did not be motivated. Some of them

really did quit school. They just work now.

4) How can you describe the relationship you have with your parents?
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A: I think my relationship with my mother is stronger than my relationship with my dad. I love

them both very much, but I feel like I can be more open to my mom about things my dad would

not be open about. I think it is because my dad is a little bit more over protected since I am the

girl in the family. He does not understand what is like to be a teenager. All the stories that he

tells me about his younger years involve working hard to help my grandparents out. Which is

fine but come on, this is a new generation (Sofia giggles).

5) Is there anything you would like to change about your parents? Parenting styles?

Believes?

A: Like I answered in the previous question, I have a stronger relationship with my mother. I

really think it is because she was once a teenager and she understands, or tries. I think that in my

Middle school years there was a lot of things I wanted to change about my parents. I found

everything wrong with my parents but as I went to High School I started getting involved in

sports and in a lot of High School activities and just the fact that they supported me in everything

made me happy. Getting good grades and passing my classes have always been a priority though.

6) Does it seem scary for you pretty much leaving this chapter in your life and moving on to

the next one, adulthood?

A: Well, now that you make it sound like these years arent never coming back, yes. Well, not

scary but sad that I won't be able to walk around the halls with my friends and go to sport games

like I would enjoy going during lunch time, but I am excited to know what is out there for me

and to continue exploring what I want to become later in life, because as of now I want to take a

year off before starting College. My parents dont know that, yet I hope they agree with me and

understand.
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Interviewing Sofia Marquez brought me back to the time I was in High School. It seems

like it was just yesterday I graduated High School, yet it has been eight years. A lot of her body

language and the way she expressed herself as she answered my questions said a lot about her

and about the way she has been raised by her parents. Being that she is a 17-year-old she seems

pretty sure about what she is doing in school and about what she wants to be after High School,

other than the break she is planning to take after High School and before starting College. It

seems to me that her parents did a good job in raising this teenager, like Sofia explained, it was

not easy at first but after the parents seemed to understand what was important to their daughter

that they took the time to acknowledge it by supporting her in her games and addressing the good

grades they were expecting from her as she enjoyed her sport games. Sofia is transitioning from

the Identity vs. Role confusion to the Intimacy vs. Isolation stage. At this point in her life she has

experienced a sense of self identity by not following the crowd but by following her dreams in

finishing High School with good grades and soon moving on to the next stage.

Sofias experience is not as similar as mine experience going to High School but talking

to her did bring me back to some of the experiences I experienced in High School. Sofia has had

the support of their parents and older cousins to pursue better and higher education as for me, I

did not have anyone to be there for me to support me. My mother was always working and after

High school I was alone doing my homework and something I would stay after school and do it

there before my mother picked me up. It is amazing how the lack of a secure environment and

attachment even as an adolescent can make a difference in ones life.

My final thoughts about doing some research about this topic and interviewing my people

really did prove my point about how important it is to build and have a secure relationship with

teenagers and young adults. Throughout my life I have lived life with just my mother and my
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brother but have not really had a strong relationship with them, so I can relate and say that it is of

important.