Melani Elyasi Elyasi 1

Dr. Smith

English 101

29 November 2017

Parental mistake or genetic issue?

Raising a child as I read in a book named "Stranger in the Nest" is like owning a stranger whom you

know nothing. He/she knows nothing about you as well. This stranger is like a clay in potter's hands.

The question that always comes to mind is that does this clay have anything inside that affects the

way of shaping itself or does it all depend on potter's hand? Parents always have been told that they

are responsible for their children's actions. Parents do affect their children, but how much? There have

been dozens of studies on twins, adoptions and family lives that prove in some way genetic

endowment shape children more than parent's style of rearing. Apparently this means that all those

psychotherapists and pharmaceutical technologies do nothing but wasting our money on something

that cannot be changed. The reason why I found this topic controversial is that childrearing nowadays

has become remarkably sophisticated for most parents, so human genome could be a reasonable

excuse or reason for them to pass their responsibility to something else. Unfortunately, one of the

outcomes of this logic will have permanent harm to parents such as feeling more helpless and

irresponsible. Now that we are suffering from environmental solutions, the dissolving mystery of

human genome will just be one more problem. In other words, it restates that if you get what you need

instead of somebody else getting it is because you were more lucky, ethical or blameless. It'll make a

feeling of being the best in some things. Therefore one should not have made efforts to make it

possible and to achieve what she/he needed. Personally I believe these judgements could have serious

implications in the society. I believe we humans have the power and intelligence to change and revise

ourselves. Despite of inborn mental disorders that appears from the first years of human's life, parents

are the most effective elements in shaping their child's personality and attitudes.
 Elyasi 2

Any good parent wants their kids to stay healthy, act like an adult and do well in school.

Unfortunately, there is not a set recipe for raising good children but I've done researches about the

common things that successful parents usually do for their children.

Doing Chores

Studies have shown that kids who do chores are more likely successful, collaborate well with their co-

workers and want everything to be completely done. Lythcott Haims says "By making them do chores

taking out the garbage, doing their own laundry they realize I have to do the work of life in

order to be part of life,"

High Expectations

Kids live up to their parent's expectation. Using data from a national survey of 6,600 children born in

2001, University of California at Los Angeles professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered

that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on attainment. 96% of the kids who

did the best in standardized test were expected to go to college.

Being Less Stressed

In simple words, whenever you see your friend upset, that gloominess will transfer to you and

whenever he/she is happy, that brightness will transfer to you as well. Therefore, if a parent is anxious

or feeling frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids too.

Healthy Relationships

Studies have shown that young people who had high conflicts between their parents were far

more likely to have feelings of loss and regret and they still report pain and suffering over

their parent's conflict or divorce ten years late

 Elyasi 3

Works Cited

B. Cohen, David. Stranger in the nest: Do parents Really Shape Their Childs Personality,

Intelligence, or Character? American Journal of Psychiatry, pp. 1073-1074, 1999,

Dovey, Dana. "Raising a Confident Child: How Parents Shape Their Children's Print.

Personalities, For Better or Worse" Medical Daily, 30 Sep. 2016. Print