Date: 9/19/17

To: Cecelia Musselman

From: Rebecca Hoffman
Subject: Peer Review of Thao Pham

Summary:
The paper starts by taking the reader on a journey to Vietnam, where the author grew up.
This was the authors first exposure to medicine and hospital life, and it sets the tone for
the rest of the papers focus on medicine. Next, the author covers the Hippocratic Oath
and its Greek roots. The next influential theorist covered was Frederic A. Gibbs, a
pioneer in electroencephalography. The author then jumps to their coop experience at
Brigham and Womens Hospital, focusing on working with blood and explaining the
birth of the blood transfusion. The paper concludes by quickly mentioning Mendel and
Darwin, connecting psychology and biology.

Major Points:
Overall, its a good paper that takes the reader on a journey from Vietnam to the US, as
the author becomes more specialized in medicine. However, there is room for
improvements to make it feel like a more cohesive paper. For example, the Hippocratic
Oath is mentioned, but the author doesnt take the time to connect it back to their
education.

A big disconnect is the whole paragraph about electroencephalography. The author needs
to explain the concept better in laments terms, and also connect it back to their life. It
seems like it was just dropped in.

Another major section that can be expanded upon is the conclusion. The author name
drops Mendel and Darwin, then abruptly ends the paper. This section should include
either be a wrap-up of all the ideas from the paper or a conclusion that tells the reader
where the author is headed in their future. I suggest tying it back to Vietnam, because
thats the most personal experience in the whole paper.

Minor Points:
The author needs to add a title and an acknowledgements section. The grammar needs to
be reviewed, specifically many of the verb tenses.