How to start a daily

meditation practice
By Jeremy Mohler December 2017

W henever I tell people that Buddhist meditation has changed my life, I get self-con-
scious about coming off like a cult leader or infomercial salesman. But its true
theres a certain quality of being that marks the time after I began sitting every day.

Before meditating, I rarely felt content. Everythingwhat I wanted and didnt want
seemed outside of me and therefore out of my control. Yet in the double bind that is
human suffering, Id blame myself for not getting what I wanted. Something always
seemed to be missing, and I spent much of my time lost in stories about what that some-
thing was and whyI just need to work out more. I need more money. If I just do this one
thing, maybe shell love me like she used to.

Thats not to say that meditation has solved all of my problems. The downs still come
theyre just shorter, and the ups are higher. And almost everything is out of my con-
trolIve leaned on other practices, like therapy and journaling to dig deeper into my
particular habits and patterns. But meditation helps me more clearly see where the line
is between what I do and what is done to me; between what my real intentions are and
what Ive been told they should be.

In short, daily meditation practice has made my experience much richer. Its helped me
notice more often when Im telling myself stories about the past or future, which breaks
the pattern and allows me to bring my attention to the present moment, where the real,
raw, and potent stuff happens. And, increasingly, thats all I need to feel content.

My daily practice started after a three-day silent meditation retreat. On the way home, so
calm that I was driving ten miles under the speed limit, I said to myself: I have to get back
to this feeling. Heres what I learned along the way:

Have an intention, not a goalbut try your best to stick to it

Many of us strive for goals not because its human nature to aim for measurable achieve-
ment but because of the way our particular society is organized. Capitalism rewards that
part of us that feels the need to come off a certain way to others to belong and be loved,
while promoting our more toxic characteristics as how to go about this striving. We are
told we must man up or lean in to be successful, to accumulate enough resources to
be safe and live a passionate, exciting life.

Striving has no place in meditationin fact, its a practice of letting beso it should be
approached with a lighter touch, an intention.

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 My practice began with the intention to sit every day, no matter how little. Some days I
sat 20 minutes in the morning; others I could only manage five minutes just before bed.
The distinction between goal and intention became meaningful when I missed a day
early on. Because I had set an intention I was naturally easier on myself, which allowed
me to begin again the next day without the weight of feeling like a failure.

Meditation is simply sitting and observing, not losing 50 pounds or making a million dol-
larsit goes against the stream of how much of our society flows. So cut yourself some
slack and take your time.

Eventually, with enough practice, youll find a sweet spot, whether its 10, 20, or 30 min-
utes, and whether its first thing in the morning, after lunch, or before bed. As of this
writing, I sit 35 minutes every morningeven when Im sick or travelingand most days
another 15 minutes in the afternoon. Ive followed this routine long enough that my days
just arent the same without it. Intention has morphed into discipline, a must-do.

Dont go it alone

Get the image of a solitary, bald monk out of your head. Dont do this alone. There are
meditation groups in monasteries, centers, and living rooms across the U.S., most of
which sustain themselves on volunteer effort and donations. Find a public event to drop
in on. The usual format is a teacher leading a guided meditation for 20-30 minutes and
giving a dharma talk on some aspect of practice or the Buddhas teachings.

If you live in a city, take the time to try various lineages and orientations to practice.
Lineages common in the U.S. include: Vipassana (Insight meditation), Zen, and various
Tibetan Buddhism orientations, like Shambhala. Many are quite secular and require little
commitment, if any. It was one of Vipassana teacher Tara Brachs renowned Wednesday
night dharma talks in the Maryland suburbs that first got me hooked into digging deeper.

If you cant find a group in your area, use a meditation app like Dharma Seed to listen to
guided meditations. Its fine to lean on guided meditations, especially when you first start
daily practice. Find a quiet place and let the guidance play from your phonethough
listening with headphones is fine in a pinch. I sat with my phone in my shirt pocket for at
least the first six months. The app Insight Timer is perfect for keeping time once youre
sitting on your own.

When you become bored of your routinewhich you willgroup meditations and dhar-
ma talks can help. Seeing others sit and go headfirst into the unknown of the present
moment can refresh your individual practice. If you can afford time away from work and
other responsibilities, deepen your practice with a weekend or three-day guided retreat.
Many organizations provide retreat scholarships to those, like many of us, who are strug-
gling to pay the rent.

When you begin to notice that youve changed, you wont stop

Eventually, within weeks or maybe a few months, youll start to notice that how you relate

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 to your experience is changing. In general, youll be a little more relaxed, and you might
even experience more moments of happiness and gratitude for all that you have, even if
its not much.

Youll also notice that its becoming easier to experience your thoughts and not automat-
ically believe them. That sounds strange but its the first step in a path that helps you be
yourself more often, better connect with others, and much more. Meditation slows things
down enough to allow a gap between what you experience and how you relate to that
experience.

As the unattributed saying goes, Between stimulus and response there is a space. In
that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our
freedom.

Things to read early on your path

Smile at Fear, Chogyam Trunga Rinpoche

Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach
Zen Mind, Beginners Mind, Shunryu Suzuki
When Things Fall Apart, Pema Chodron
Blue Truth, David Deida
Nothing Special: Living Zen, Charlotte Joko Beck

About Liberation Notes

Liberation Notes is a blog and weekly newsletter on meditation practice. Sign up by click-
ing here. Its published by Jeremy Mohler, a writer and political activist living in Washing-
ton, D.C. He can be reached at jeremylmohler@gmail.com.

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