Running head: MARRIAGE EQUALITY 1

Marriage Equality Community Problem

Jasmine Cordero

University of Texas at El Paso

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Community Problem Report

In our actuality, marriage equality is a controversial topic, there are people pro- marriage

equality system and there are people who reject this idea. Even though equality in marriage

comes as a need for the healthy mind of spouses, healthy family and as consequence the healthy

society. Marriage equality is a community problem relevant to transcultural and social over

impositions addressed to gender roles. This problem can be seen through the current increase in

number of divorces, single mothers, and a great number of unsatisfied wives. The latent need to

give relevance to equality in marriage is what psychology does. Psychology rebuilds and gives

tools to married people to construct a healthy person, marriage, family, and society where the

egalitarian system prevails. Psychology promotes the way to educate children with objectivity

above the equality between women-men genders and helps marriages through clinical therapy to

confront different issues at the moment to choose an egalitarian system for their relationship. The

main factors that interfere, promote and create an egalitarian marriage system go hand by hand.

Factors such as the childhood traumas related to the learned behavior patterns by spouses

acquired from their parents interferes with marriage equality, the factors that promote marriage

equality go hand in hand with clinical psychology and the factors that recreate the environment

of the relationship has a strong bond with the healthy models of marriage equality system. The

issue of marriage inequality is especially relevant to the El Paso community because one of the

factors that contribute to the absence of equality in marriage is the machismo arranged ideas on

men about female gender roles. Machismo is predominant among Hispanic communities being

Hispanic community a big part of the El Paso population.

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Healthy models of marriage equality

The marriage equality is a healthy decision in marital life, although there are interferences

such as the childhood traumas and parents behavior pattern that spouses learned through their

life. These conflicts prevent healthy decisions and equality in marriage. Childhood trauma

referring to the behavior patterns of parents has a big impact on the spouses relationship.

Spouses confront different situations in their marital life and they follow the same patterns

learned from their parents with the same results and implications. It is impossible to ignore that

marriage is a process of adaptation. It is where spouses create a system to manage marital

situations, problems, decisions and all marriage implementations. Seigel (2000) supports the

influence of behaviors of parents over spouses behaviors by stating, Almost all the adults I

have counseled in marriage therapy have been profoundly affected by their own parents

relationship. Beliefs about intimacy learned in childhood had led to fears, defensive posture

and expectations that worked against intimacy (Seigel, 2000, p.9-10). The experience of a

spouses childhood with parents behaviors comes as a repetitive cycle, where spouses repeat the

same patterns as their fathers, patterns of behavior they disliked in their childhood and created

trauma to them. The other lens reveals aspect of their parents' marriage that they have

unconsciously re-created with their partner. The model of marriage they tried to escape has

followed them to their own bedroom where they, like programmed robots, behave with each

other as they behaved with their parents (Hendrix & Harville, 1993). It is more than clear that

marriage has to be reeducated to break the chains of repetitive behaviors than block the access to

equality, and by this way blocks access to the well-being of spouses. Therefore, besides

childhood traumas and the learned parents behavior patterns, there are other obstacles that block

the access to equality in marriage, such as sexism. The application of sexism into a marital
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relationship appears when there is discrimination, misconception and a remarked hierarchy over

the spouses genders. Relationships simultaneously reflect and produce the values of the larger

society (Steil, 1997, p.XV). In this way, Steil (1997) expresses sexism as an impediment to

achieve equality inside marriage and she addresses sexism to a sociocultural background. For

her, marital equality includes the well-being of wives and husbands, so she expresses the need to

recreate the equilibrated marriage that brings psychological health to wives and husbands inside

of an equal marriage. Traditional over imposed hierarchy includes men as the main familys

authority, the classical weak gender is addressed to women, and women are the oversexualized

objects with poor intelligence. All these have a big impact above the maturity of spouses.

Maturity is a requirement for a healthy and equal marriage.

The other interference with marriage equality refers to discrimination and misconceptions

about gender roles. It means the traditional gender roles over imposed by society have had

influence over marriages through social pressure. The expected gender roles behaviors are the

main point to deal in marriage, in an egalitarian system the roles of spouses do not depend on the

gender. Spouses have to make decisions together and both will be agreed, both have the same

rights and both have same obligations. These elements build a relationship based in equality.

Abolishing the traditional roles over imposed by society would create a flexible environment to

practice marriage equality.

It is important to balance the women as homemakers and nourishers of children, women

who take care of home and take care of children as their fulltime responsibility. However, more

of a responsibility is their obligation while men have the charge to work outside home and have

poor interaction with children. In line with this controversial -and distorted-view, perceived or

real defects in the emotional environment of family of the family or the childs psychological
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development have been usually been attributed to some failure in the mother rather than the

father (Spiegel,1982, P.95). Research has found that this imposition of gender roles is a fallacy

because the result of recent research shows that mothers are now part time home and part time

workers, nourish healthier children, and have high self-esteem and independency. Independence

goes hand in hand with equality, for instance, female children that follow the pattern of a mother

independent of her husband, a mother worker as part time home and part time outside home, opt

to bring this pattern to her future marriage and look for equality. To support that mothers who

work outside house have a more positive influence over her children, Spitze claimed (as cited in

Thobourn & Sexton, 2000). Daughter of employed mothers are often reported to be more

independent, more self-confident, and more likely to achieve better grades than daughters of full-

time housewives. In addition, it appears that sons and daughter of employed mothers hold more

egalitarian sex-role attitudes and view women and their own mothers as more competent.

Children of independent gender role mothers would re-construct a healthy society where equality

will be part of marriage, starting by their future marriage practicing an egalitarian system as well.

When it comes to El Paso community, the machismo plays a big role in marriages

specially in Hispanic communities. According to a recent study, the rate of machismo inside

Mexican American marriages least to less marriage satisfaction among wives due to the

inequality that comes with machismo ideas, which include the hierarchy in marriage where men

is the head of the house and women has a dependency on men dictamen (Pardo,Weisfeld

&Hill,2012). This same study suggests that overall machismo is particularly important to

Mexican American husbands, because their values and beliefs about their role are more

congruent with what is socially and culturally expected (Pardo,Weisfeld &Hill,2012). This

means that is easier to be in an unequal marriage if you are Hispanic because machismo it is so
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attached to the Hispanic culture that when you are surrounded by this type of marriage system it

is almost impossible to see the marriage from another perspective.

Marriage equality in Psychology

The promoters of marriage equality say that the psychology perspective involves the

application of clinical family psychology, the cognitive styles working as conjunction relevance.

The clinical family psychology has a big influence over the healthy state of mind of spouses not

by them as an individual system, perhaps both as one systematic system. As a systematic system

all referent to spouses is linked to the sum of all little pieces that conform the whole piece. For

example, if a husband wants to take a decision he cannot do it by himself, he needs the approval

of his wife and vice versa. Another example, if the relationship is passing for a determinate

matter is not the fault of one of the spouses is the fault of both spouses, the environment and

system of the relationship.

There are many clinical therapies to help family, but there is one that helps to restore the

equilibrium inside the relationship, equilibrium is treated as the well-being to spouses and

strengthen the bond between wife and husband. This is the case of SFT (structural and strategic

model system), There are four specific therapeutic goals to SFT: solve the present problem,

reduce stress being felt by the family and restore family equilibrium (Thoburn &Sexton,2016,

p.129). in order to sole the present problem, the therapist relocates the main issue of the

marriage, the therapist give to spouses exercises to help them to reduce stress and teach them to

work as a team instead of one against the other. The equilibrium of a relationship is based on the

well-being of spouses, well-being applies to same rights and same obligations for wives and

husbands. Other tool that psychology offers to promote and foment marriage equality is marriage

education work, sometimes by the hand of therapy family interventions. Family interventions
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were generally have stronger effects than do psychoeducational interventions (Shadish

&Baldwin,2003, p.724). The authors of Does marriage and relationship educational work?

argue that, The primary emphasis has been developing better communication and improving

listening skills (Gottman & Silver,1999, p.723). The second MRE is didactic presentation of

information that correlates with marital equality. (Fincham, Stanley & Beach,2007, p.723).

Information that foments two elements for a good marriage relation such as, good

communication and the good habit to listen well.

The healthy model of marriage equality

The healthy model of marriage where equality is on practice explains what are the

elements that strengthens the spouses relationship and why marriage equality system gives a

healthy state of mind to spouses. To start it is convenient to explain the three main factors of a

functional marriage whose are: spouses respect each other, spouses as social equals and the

egalitarian household management. spouses can create an egalitarian system by the way they

behave, if one of the spouses behave with egalitarian bases he or she will stimulate the same

behavior of the other spouse as response. Researches has found this, one of the spouses can

stimulate the behavior of the other spouse through himself or herself behavior.

If there is equality at the time to speak and listen between spouses, both will be satisfied.

Spouses will feel acceptance and comprehension by the other one, the relation will be strength.

To look each other as social equals it is really important too Adler believed strongly that

the foundation for successful approach to the task of marriage involved relationship in whish

husband and wife saw a related to one another as social equals (Blanton,2000, p.412). social

equals are related to same human rights substantiated by civil, political, economic, social and
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cultural rights. The same rights to administrate the monetary household income also plays an

important role in marriage. Same right to finances it is what more wives demands on marriage

women whose does not receive equal aces to the household income argument that do not receive

equality over household finances also produce other kind of inequalities. Where the partners are

not equal, then the partner who is more dependent on the relationship lie, has to lose buy its

dissolution can be expected to yield more to the wishes of the other, and this may result in

inequalities of various kinds (Emerson,1981, p.104). It clears that equality marriage has to be

well performed by both spouses to keep the marriage equilibrated. The same spouses right to

finances it is hard to perform it is because while women look for equality men prefers equity.

Despite what men prefers equality in marriage is what women needs for women the affections of

inequality are not only related to economy are related to psychological affections However, this

meant that unequal financial outcomes tended to be denied and glossed over, leading to both

economic and psychological costs for the women (Joshi,1987, p.113). women need equality,

wives need and deserve egalitarianism in marriage.

Conclusion

All issues that marriage confront at the time to choose an egalitarian system on their

marriage are influenced by different factors such as the machismo culture, the learned behaviors

by parents during childhood, sexism, discrimination and misconception of gender roles. These

factors work as the interferers. On the other hand, factors that acts as promoters include the

clinical family psychology, psychological therapy, and the models to follow in order to promote

egalitarianism. The interfering factors are like the chain hooks, sometimes some need to be

broken to give freedom to spouses of all factors that interfere with their enrichment, and

sometimes the chain hooks need to be reinforced to strength the bond between spouses. in this
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case the way to strengthen the bond between spouses and offer them a healthy life is through an

egalitarian basis.

This photography comes from Pinterest, it is from crissollar.com gallery. The photography

describes a couple walking by the hand as spouses do it in marriage life. If we observe carefully

both try to be at the same level to be able to give a kiss, the same happens at the time to confront

marriage issues. Spouses need to perceive each other as equals, with same potentiality, rights and

obligations as a system with egalitarian bases.

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References

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Journal of Individual Psychology, 56(4), 411. Retrieved from http://0-

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Burgoyne, C. B., & Lewis, A. (1994). Distributive justice in marriage: Equality or equity?

Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology, 4(2), 101. Retrieved from http://0-

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Hawkins, A. J., Blanchard, V. L., Baldwin, S. A., & Fawcett, E. B. (2008). Does marriage and

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Psychology, 76(5), 723. Retrieved from http://0-

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Hendrix, H., & Sweetland, S. (1993). Good marriages make happy children. Mothering, (69),

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Steil, J. M. I. (1997). Marital equality : Its relationship to the well-being of husbands and wives

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Thoburn, J. W., & Sexton, T. L. (2016). Family psychology : Theory, research, and practice

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Thorne, B., & Yalom, M. (1982). Rethinking the family : Some feminist questions New York :

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8390&site=eds-live&scope=site Blanton, Priscilla White. "The Adlerian Perspective in

the Context of Contemporary Marriages." Journal of Individual Psychology 56, no. 4

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