HOW TO BE AN EFFECTIVE LISTENER

“When people talk listen completely . Most people never listen.”

- Ernest Hemingway

Listening which can be defined as an active process of receiving and responding to both
spoken and unspoken messages.Maintaining silence by a person does not ensure that s/he is
listening.There might be different reasons for his/her polite silence and fake attention like-
Preparing and rehearsing the speech which the person has to deliver next time.
Busy in critically analyzing the speaker.
Framing questions to be asked once the speaker has stopped.

Listening is undoubtedly an art and a skill which does not comes naturally alongwith the
virtue of being a human rather it needs to be practiced , cultivated and developed.
Listening requires empathizing with the speaker and not only trying to
understand the literal meaning of the spoken words but the intention and emotions of
the speaker as well.

“But a good listener does not merely remain silent .He asks questions .However ,these
questions must avoid all implications(whether in tone of voice or in wording)of
skepticism or challenge or hostility. They must clearly be motivated by curiosity about
the speaker’s views.”
(S.I.Hayakawa, “How to attend a conference”The use and misuse of language ed. By
S.I.Hayakawa.Fawcett Premier,1962)
 Many a times we use the two terms hearing and listening interchangeably but they are
not the same. Hearing is a physical process where the sound is received by the ears and
transmitted to the brain whereas listening refers to a process where not only the sound
is recognized rather the meaning of the words is also interpreted which requires a lot of
attention and concentration.
“Listening is more complex than merely hearing.It is a process that consists of
four stages: sensing and attending,understanding and interpreting,remembering
and responding…………..The stages occur in a sequence but we are generally
unaware of them.”
(Sheila Steinberg,An introduction to Communication Studies.Juta and Company
Ltd.,2007)

Attention,Hearing,understanding and remembering are the four important elements of

listening.A good listener operates at four levels of listening:-
(i) Acknowledges what is being said by the speaker
(ii) Understands the meaning of the lines , meaning between the lines and the
meaning behind the lines.
(iii) Paraphrases what the speaker is saying
(iv) Empathizes with the speaker

Listening skills can be improved by following these guidelines:-

Listen to the speaker without preoccupied mind. Give full attention to what the
speaker is saying instead of framing your own questions.
With the help of both verbal and non-verbal cues make the speaker understand
that you are an attentive listener.
Paraphrase and acknowledge the message for showing attentiveness.
Speaker listener gap should be used constructively.It is said that people can
speak at 100 to 175 words per minute, they can listen at 600 to 800 words per
minute.We need to restrain our mind from wandering and stay focused on the
information,issue or problem being conveyed.
Concentrate on the non-verbal cues of the speaker.It will enhance the
understanding of the verbal message.
Focus on what is being said instead of how it is said and who said it.
Listening is a skill which needs to be practiced and mastered like driving a vehicle
and playing any musical instrument.

“The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more
and talk the less.” (Zeno of Citism)
Given below is a small self learning exercise to assess your listening skills followed by an action-
plan which will help you in becoming an effective listener.

Self Exercise: Assessing Your Listening Skills

Objectives
1. To assess your listening skills.

2. To develop a personal development plan aimed at increasing your listening skills.

Introduction
Listening is a critical component of effective communication. Unfortunately, research and case
studies suggest that many of us are not very good at actively listening. This is particularly bad in
light of the fact that managers spend more time listening than they do speaking or writing. This
exercise provides you the opportunity to assess your listening skills and develop a plan for
improvement.

Instructions
The following statements reflect various habits we use when listening to others. For each
statement, indicate the extent to which you agree or disagree with it by selecting one number
from the scale provided. Circle your response for each statement. Remember, there are no right
or wrong answers. After completing the survey, add up your total score for the 17 items, and
record it in the space provided.

Listening Skills Survey

1 = strongly disagree

2 = disagree

3 = neither agree nor disagree

4 = agree

5 = strongly agree

1. I daydream or think about other things when listening to others.

1—2—3—4—5
2. I do not mentally summarize the ideas being communicated by a speaker.
1 —2—3—4—5
 3.I do not use a speaker’s body language or tone of voice to help interpret what he or she is
Saying
1 —2—3—4—5

4I listen more for facts than overall ideas during classroom lectures.
1—2—3—4—5

5. I tune out dry speakers

1—2—3—4—5

6. I have a hard time paying attention to boring people.

1—2—3—4—5

7. I can tell whether someone has anything useful to say before he or she finishes communicating a
Message.
1—2—3—4—5

8. I quit listening to a speaker when I think he or she has nothing interesting to say.
1—2—3—4—5

9. I get emotional or upset when speakers make jokes about issues or things that are
important to me.
1—2—3—4—5

10. I get angry or distracted when speakers use offensive words.

1—2—3—4—5

11. I do not expend a lot of energy when listening to others.

1—2—3—4—5

12. I pretend to pay attention to others even when I’m not really listening.
1—2—3—4—5

13. I get distracted when listening to others.

1—2—3—4—5

14. I deny or ignore information and comments that go against my thoughts

and feelings.
1—2—3—4—5

15. I do not seek opportunities to challenge my listening skills.

1—2—3—4—5

16. I do not pay attention to the visual aids used during lectures.
 1—2—3—4—5

17. I do not take notes on handouts when they are provided.

1—2—3—4—5

Total score _ _____

Preparing a Personal Development Plan

1. Use the following norms to evaluate your listening skills:

17–34 = good listening skills

35–53 = moderately good listening skills

54–85 = poor listening skills

How would you evaluate your listening skills?

2. Do you agree with the assessment of your listening skills? Why or why not?

3. The 17-item listening skills survey was developed to assess the extent to which you use the
keys to effective listening presented in Table 14–3. Use Table 14–3 and the development plan
format shown below to prepare your development plan. First, identify the five statements from
the listening skills survey that received your highest ratings—high ratings represent low skills.
Record the survey numbers in the space provided in the development plan. Next, compare the
content of these survey items to the descriptions of bad and good listeners shown in Table 14–
3. This comparison will help you identify the keys to effective listening being measured by each
survey item. Write down the keys to effective listening that correspond to each of the five items
you want to improve. Finally, write down specific actions or behaviors that you can undertake
to improve the listening skill being considered.

Development Plan

Survey Items Key to Effective Listening I Action Steps Required

want to Improve (What Do You Need to Do
to Build Listening Skills for
This Listening
Characteristic?)

#
BIBLIOGRAPHY:-
(I) www.grammar.about.com
(II) Voices from the field .Catherine Pinkham
(III) www.highered.mc-grawhill.com