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DOCUMENT SCORE

Chambers - Persepolis 64 of 100

ISSUES FOUND IN THIS TEXT

59
PLAGIARISM

0%
Contextual Spelling 4
Misspelled Words 3
Commonly Confused Words 1

Grammar 5
Determiner Use (a/an/the/this, etc.) 2
Wrong or Missing Prepositions 2
Conjunction Use 1

Punctuation 10
Comma Misuse within Clauses 6
Punctuation in Compound/Complex Sentences 3
Misuse of Semicolons, Quotation Marks, etc. 1

Sentence Structure 1
Misplaced Words or Phrases 1

Style 39
Inappropriate Colloquialisms 23
Improper Formatting 10
Passive Voice Misuse 2
Wordy Sentences 2
Unclear Reference 2

Vocabulary enhancement No errors

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Chambers - Persepolis
Carson Chambers
Chambers 1
Mr. Bradley
Honors English 9
1st hour

Title?
1
How would you feel if all at once your life was changing? Personal pronoun in formal writing
2
If you were forced to do things you did not want to do and Personal pronoun in formal writing
3
Personal pronoun in formal writing
you did not have a say. In this book Marjane, her family, 4
Personal pronoun in formal writing
and the whole country of Iran were forced to wear a veil, 5
Personal pronoun in formal writing
and if you don’t do what they say you will be beaten, sent
6
to jail, or worse. I believe in this book there are different Personal pronoun in formal writing
7
types of views between an Iranian person and an American [don't → do not]
8
Personal pronoun in formal writing
person. There are different views on this book based 9
Personal pronoun in formal writing
upon 10 where you are from. First, Iranian people already
10
know what goes on in their country but to Americans that [based upon → based on]
11
is shocking. Also American people do not know how Personal pronoun in formal writing
12
violent it can be in Iran. Lastly in america 16 people do not Preposition at the end of a sentence
13
[Americans that → Americans that]
have to worry about their hair, but in Iran hair “turns guys 14
[Also,]
on”. 15
[different views → different views]
16
[america → America]
17
First, Iranian people already know what goes on and Personal pronoun in formal writing
18
what went 19 on in their country because they see it Wordiness

everyday 3. People already know what goes on in their

19
country and what happens, but to American readers they [what went → what went]
are shocked because 22 they do not see that or hear about
20
things that type of culture or views. In Iran 4 readers would [said:]
21
already know about some of the stuff since it is their [this,]
22
history,but 24 Americans have no idea about what goes on. [shocked because → shocked because]
23
For example 5 when Marjane went to Austria 7 and she tried [America,]

to make friends they were asking questions about what was

24
going on in Iran. It is the same effect they do not know 1 [history, but]
what is going on because they do not live 2 there or see
what's going on, so American readers do not know
exactly 26 25 what goes on. So that is one of the reasons
there are different views 27 between Iranian people and
American people because they do not know what goes on.
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25
Another reason why there are different views 26
Overused word: exactly
Squinting modifier
depending 9 on if you 28 are from Iran or America is
27

because 6 Americans reading this have not heard about this [different views → different views]

kind of unfair treatment of women.. Women are treated 29

as property, 8 or a possession 30 to 31 men. Their belief
system prohibits women from wearing revealing
clothing, 32 and showing any part of their hair or body. Men
28

get very violent toward women if they do not “obey” Personal pronoun in formal writing

orders of the man or the dress code. If our country, women

can dress as they please, and are treated with more respect
29

and are treated 11 as equals. Americans could seem shocked Passive voice
30
[ a possession]
by realizing these differences. Things are different between 31
Possibly confused preposition
two cultures so readers from different countries may not be 32
[clothing, ]
able to relate or understand the other countries cultural
values. Like Americans cannot understand women being
treated 12 like slaves, Iranians cannot understand women
being free and able to dress, act and go about as they
choose. As an example, on page seventy six 13 of the first
book when Marjane's parents take her to a protest 33 and it
says “The scarf or a beating, for the first time in my life I
saw violence,” said Marjane. It is showing what kind of
violence goes on at protests in Iran. So an Iranian person
reading this would not be shocked but an American would
because that type of violence 34 does not happen a lot in
America. This 35 is another reason 14 there will be two
different views between an American and Iranian reading
this book.

33

The last reason there are two different views 15 [protest,]

depending 18 on if you 36 are an American or an Iranian is

because 37 in Iran you 38 have to fear of boys getting turned
on from your 39 hair, but in America 40 you 41 don't 42 have
to worry about boys getting turned on from your 17 hair. For
example on page 74 of the first book is when Marjane's
34

mom was threatened to be raped it said 20 “Women like you Repetitive word: violence
35

should be pushed up against a wall and fuc**d and then Unclear antecedent

thrown into the garbage.” This quote from the book shows
that in Iran people could be raped if boys could see their
hair, but in America 23 girls do not get raped because of
their hair. So for Americans reading this 21 they might
36
Personal pronoun in formal writing

37
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38
Chambers 2 [because → that]
Personal pronoun in formal writing
39
Personal pronoun in formal writing
40
[America,]
41
Personal pronoun in formal writing
42
[don't → do not]

not 43 understand or be shocked that, that stuff goes on in

Iran.But to 44 an Iranian 45 that kind of stuff is normal 46 to
people. This 47 is the last reason that there will be two
different views of this book depending on if you 48 are from
America or Iran.

Some people might not agree that there would be

different views depending on if you 49 lived in Iran or
America just because you 50 would hear about it on the
news or hear people talking 51 about it, but america 52 is not
in the same hemisphere let alone a completely 53 different
country. But also 54 because some people that do not live
through stuff or see stuff everyday 56 55 so they do 57 not 43
[not → Not]
actually 58 realize what is going on and make up 59 things in 44
[But to → However, to]
45
their head. That is why people do not have the same views [Iranian,]
46

between Americans and Iranians. Overused word: normal

47
Unclear antecedent
48
Personal pronoun in formal writing
Because of people not knowing what goes on in other
countries, not knowing about all the violence that happens,
and being 60 attracted to girls hair there will be different 49
Personal pronoun in formal writing
views of this book. 50
Personal pronoun in formal writing
There will be different readers between an American and 51
[people talking → people talking]
an Iranian readers 62 61 and that is why because of not 52
[america → America]
knowing what goes on, knowing about the violence, and 53
Overused word: completely
being attracted 63 to girls hair. 54
[But also → However, also]
55
[everyday,]
56
[everyday → every day]
57
[they do → they do]
58
[actually]
59
[make up → makeup]

60
[and being → and being]
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61
[an Iranian readers → Iranian readers]
62
[readers,]
63
Passive voice