Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously,
ISBN: 978-1-4197-2344-5
eISBN: 978-1-61312-992-0
Wimpy Kid text and illustrations copyright © 2016 Wimpy Kid, Inc.
DIARY OF A WIMPY KID®, WIMPY KID™, and the Greg Heffley design™
Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards logo copyright © 2016 Viacom Media Networks
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
Wednesday
actually DOES.
kind of COOL.
the strings.
to work with.
4
Every once in a while I wonder if the people in
just wrong.
cheap buck.
8
The one thing I’ve learned about television is that
9
I never found any evidence that this was true,
10
It would ALSO explain some of the things my
no sense of humor.
on their side.
second now.
15
The thing is, I’ve ALWAYS felt like someone’s
16
What worries me is that, when Nana was alive,
happened to me.
17
If Nana looks the other way when I’m crossing
blame her.
do something annoying.
20
Recently, Mom told me it’s not just NANA who’s
passed away.
about it.
21
I mean, if I’ve got relatives from caveman times
pass up.
lost or stolen.
23
I thought there was a chance Mom might not
message on it.
of my life.
24
Mom said if I turned off the television and put
25
Mom was REALLY excited about the news, and
differently at school.
written by five-year-olds.
27
Plus, she bought a few extra copies for ME, in case
good use.
at school.
28
In my elementary school, all the really smart kids
29
Then I finally realized that Mr. Halper’s Helpers
smart enough.
30
Looking back, I guess I was supposed to write
AWESOME.
32
During recess, if the Champs were coming
with me.
35
I guess EVERY parent thinks their kid is
36
They were GOOD trophies, too. They were
Tucker Remy.
38
I’d say about 90% of the books at the fair were
to be for kindergartners.
40
At least I’m brave enough for the REAL stuff.
41
Albert said he saw this news report about an
billionaire.
42
The way I see it, if you freeze yourself when you’re
to go.
44
I’m planning on staying frozen a lot longer, like a
REALLY interesting.
48
But Rodrick blew it all on this really awful electronic
plastic witch.
50
The witch is SUPER sensitive to sound, and
that thing.
51
I’ve been trying all year to convince Mom and
a scaredy-cat.
going off all the time, and a few weeks ago she
52
Sunday
53
For the past few weeks, me and Rowley have been getting ambushed just about every day on
our walk
54
She says geese have been flocking to these parts
all it took.
55
Nowadays, dogs have it MADE. People spend all
cushiony beds.
56
We’ve got problems with our OWN pet, which is a
of nervous.
57
In fact, I think it’s been trying to learn how to
59
But Mom says I can’t have any candy until
60
The school has a big map on a bulletin board near
far it went.
At the end of the week he measures the distance
61
Last year, Andrea Gennarro’s balloon traveled
62
Because when it comes to free candy, I’m not
messing around.
Monday
the auditorium.
65
Today, Vice Principal Roy did a countdown on his
66
Luckily, my balloon was weighed down by the
67
Wednesday
Spineticklers guy.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
AUTHOR NAME:
BIRTHDATE:
PLACE OF BIRTH:
HOBBIES:
EDUCATION:
INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT
THE AUTHOR:
69
Going to the dentist was never that much fun to
70
That one really stressed me out, and the night I
the tail.
advantage.
73
I swear I could actually FEEL it happen, and it
woke me up.
74
The other night I had a dream where I was
Thursday
78
I think part of why Mrs. Mott got so mad is
promote WITCHCRAFT.
80
Apparently, Mr. McGlurk caught Danny dabbling
81
I’ve gotten a 100% on every single test I’ve
QUESTION 12:
actual PERSON.
82
I gotta say, if that’s true I feel kind of
Sincerely,
84
Before I knew it, though, Mom was at the front
She said that when she read the letter she knew
86
So now this kid was in my ROOM. And it seemed
for ME.
crazy ideas.
88
Saturday
prove it.
89
When Mom dropped me off, I figured I might
said his mom doesn’t let him have any of that kind
this house.
90
I asked Maddox what he does for fun, and he said
91
I wanted to play with some of the big sets
NEAR them.
92
After about an hour and a half, Mom and Mrs.
94
That’s when Maddox spotted a Lego that was
stuck to my elbow.
she wasn’t.
95
96
little harder.
Monday
master’s degree.
Frolic” magazine.
Me and Rodrick are supposed to reach into the
97
Mom told us that if we do our chores, she’ ll let us
98
I decided to help myself to some candy corn as a
99
Then I started getting kind of WORRIED,
in a meeting.
meet us there.
get to work.
102
Even though the puddle was candy corn, it didn’t
Tuesday
105
The last time we had a conversation like this was
106
And when I got home, Mom asked me where my
107
I thought my story was so lame that Mom would
disappoint her.
Mom said she could step in, but this was a good
conflict on my OWN.
So that night she brought me a pen and paper
108
I probably should’ve just ended it right then.
the end.
109
Well, I guess I took it too far, because the
111
But I actually ended up getting a DOUBLE
to MANNY, either.
113
Last December, when Mom put the gingerbread
of bug spray.
114
I actually think lying might be inherited, because
115
So I felt like it was my responsibility to get the
116
Right around this same time Rodrick told me that
no matter WHAT.
118
So I did what he said, and I even watered it
wrote himself.
ones, too.
Rodrick said that when you get older your child
arms and legs fall off, and when they do, you put
them under your pillow and get money.
120
He said after THAT, your adult limbs start
121
Rodrick said if I went up the stairs too slow, a
got confusing.
about it.
124
But then a few nights later I caught Rodrick
126
So if you want to learn something new after
something OLD.
make space.
128
I already KNOW what I want to do for my
129
First of all, the only doctor I know is our
130
I didn’t find out until later on that she was
literally be ANYTHING.
my mind to it.
132
Albert Sandy says human beings only use 80% of
134
Since Mom can’t get Rodrick interested in college,
136
That’s when I remembered hearing about a girl
BELONGED there.
138
I spent two hours helping that girl prepare for
time around.
Rowley’s gonna get invited, though, because he’s
141
I was thinking about this at school today when
to join the band, Mom was all for it. She was
the idea.
142
Two years ago, Mom saw me fooling around with
sound effects.
full-size piano.
143
Judging by Dad’s reaction, I don’t think Mom
145
All the songs in that thing were really corny, and
146
It went on like that for a month or two, but
147
A half hour later we were at the music store
149
The shopkeeper pulled the French horn down off the
every night.
Tuesday
considerations, too.
151
It was a pain in the neck bringing my French
coincidence.
153
The great thing about the band is that there are
154
I noticed he sits right next to Mariana Mendoza,
checked out.
155
I sat next to the only other kid who plays the
156
But if there’s one thing you should know about
157
Jake McGough was getting closer and closer,
getting identified.
Grayden Bundy.
159
Luckily, I found some video clips of a high school
WOODWIND section.
160
So I figured out a way to make sure that doesn’t
about my plan.
on his costume.
See, this is EXACTLY why Rowley needs me to
go with him.
161
I told Rowley if he went to a party like this
usually do.
I told her we were making a two-headed-monster
162
I told Mom the costume was actually for Mariana
But Mom was actually good with the idea. She said
think of.
163
Halloween
trick-or-treating.
164
When I asked her what she was doing, she said
Mrs. Mendoza.
165
Mom asked if she could go downstairs and check out
167
A bunch of the girls started HELPING Mom
171
I was pretty annoyed, because earlier in the
172
But Mom said it’s better to leave a party when it’s
Thursday
a compliment.
174
When I told Mom and Dad I was thinking
the hook.
175
Then he told me he’s gonna come to the Fall
REALLY on my own.
Wednesday
177
So that’s what I’ve been doing for the past two
I started to SWEAT.
178
I was praying Dad forgot about the Fall Concert,
behind him.
So I knocked HARDER.
181
When the clarinet section piped in, Rowley went
helping matters.
of my pants.
183
The binder covered up the hole pretty well, and
different idea.
pants ripped.
the point.
part of Halloween.
185
I knew there had to be leftover candy somewhere
treaters away.
were off-limits.
186
I think she’s planning on making chocolate-chip
a stapler.
187
But before I could USE it, the bottom of the
188
I told him my situation, and how I needed him to
of them.
to me.
193
I could already see the movie poster in my mind.
she’ ll be proud.
195
Rowley wanted to get started filming right then
NIGHT OF THE
NIGHT CRAWLERS
Written by
Greg Heffley
Based on a concept by
Greg Heffley
196
EVENING. A man comes home from work
197
HUSBAND
from work.
WIFE
I am really concentrating on
HUSBAND
a shower.
WIFE
198
I felt like there was already a little too much
water on.
HUSBAND
me stinking.
showerhead!
199
HUSBAND
HUSBAND
nose.
200
When Rowley finished that last drawing, he was
his waist.
HUSBAND
water! It’s --
skeleton.
201
Now I REALLY started to lose Rowley. I had
HUSBAND
HUSBAND
203
HUSBAND
I am calling to report...
HUSBAND
AIIEEEEEEE!(dies)
the movie.
204
Since we weren’t gonna get this whole thing
less fit.
guy’s wife.
205
Rowley wasn’t comfortable wearing one of Mom’s
206
It turns out the shower scene was A LOT
Manny’s See-and-Talk.
babbling nonsense.
214
Unfortunately for me, that’s the moment Dad
came home.
Wednesday
215
I tried explaining to Dad that we were just
216
What’s really annoying is that in all these
Thanks to all the Wimpy Kid fans for encouraging me to write about
Greg Heffley and his crazy family. Thanks to my own crazy and
me to dig deep and write the best books I can. Thanks to everyone at
Thanks to Shaelyn Germain and Anna Cesary for all of the support
and hard work. Thanks to Deb Sundin and the staff at An Unlikely
Thanks to Rich Carr and Andrea Lucey for your support and
invaluable advice.
Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Award winner for Favorite Book. Jeff has
the Washington, D.C., area and moved to New England in 1995. Jeff
lives with his wife and two sons in Massachusetts, where they own