Searching for an Identity in a Society Full of Labels

In the essay "It’s Hard Enough Being Me," Anna Lisa Raya relates her experiences as a
multicultural American at Columbia University in New York and the confusion she felt
about her identity. She grew up in L.A. and mostly identified with her Mexican
background, but occasionally with her Puerto Rican background as well. Upon arriving to
New York however, she discovered that to everyone else, she was considered "Latina."
She points out that a typical "Latina" must salsa dance, know Mexican history, and most
importantly, speak Spanish. Raya argues that she doesn’t know any of these things, so
how could this label apply to her? She’s caught between being a "sell-out" to her
heritage, and at the same time a "spic" to Americans. She adds that trying to cope with
college life and the confusion of searching for an identity is a burden. Anna Raya closes
her essay by presenting a piece of advice she was given on how to deal with her identity.
She was told that she should try to satisfy herself and not worry about other people’s
opinions. Anna Lisa Raya’s essay is an informative account of life for a multicultural
American as well as an important insight into how people of multicultural backgrounds
handle the labels that are placed upon them, and the confusion it leads to in the attempt to
find an identity. Searching for an identity in a society that seeks to place a label on each
individual is a difficult task, especially for people of multicultural ancestry.

Raya’s essay is an informative account of life for a multicultural American, because it is

told from an actual multicultural author’s viewpoint. It gives the reader a sense that the
information is accurate. It would be harder to accept the viewpoint if the author were for
example, a white male writing about how a Mexican, Puerto Rican woman feels. As
Connie Young Yu points out, information retold by someone who didn’t live the
experiences is most often falsely perceived. Yu uses the example of white American
historians writing about the lives of Chinese immigrants. Yu says that there is no accurate
account for the lives of the immigrants, because they didn’t document their lives
themselves. The little information that there is in history books only tells about their
obvious accomplishments. There is no official understanding of their personal lives or
feelings (Yu 30). Raya’s essay leaves the reader with an understanding of the feelings
that multicultural people are faced with in everyday life. It is thorough, because it begins
by explaining her initial belief and then discussing the outcome of her identity search.
Her initial belief was that she was Mexican and sometimes Puerto Rican, but she finally
came to the conclusion that she was herself and not something to be categorized. This
essay was especially informative to me, because of my own multicultural heritage. I am
Mexican and Polish, which are two completely different nationalities. So, my identity is
even harder to distinguish then even Raya’s, because her nationalities are at least similar.
I did identify with her confusion though, and I’m sure anyone else who is multicultural or
not will find this essay informative as well as helpful in dealing with their own identity
problems.

Raya’s insight into how people of multicultural backgrounds handle the labels that are
placed upon them is extremely important, because it exposes the misrepresentation of
individuals who are put under labels. Time and again we see the hardship of people trying
to conform into a group or label because society requires it. As a Michigan State
University student of multicultural heritage, Nikki O’Brien comments that, "Students of
mixed heritage sometimes let society categorize them . . ." (Carter 3). They do this
because of the pressures to fit in and make their lives easier. Life is hard enough for
college students, some of whom who are away from home for the first time. So, the least
of their worries is what label they fit under. It is just easier to go along with what other
people classify them as, and worry more about what concerns are important to their
education.

The dilemma of trying to fit into a category is especially prevalent with multicultural
individuals, because any one label can not do their entire identity justice. Raya’s
experience of considering herself one nationality or the other is backed up by O’Brien’s
assertion that, "biracial students are...forced to identify with one parent...over the other"
(Carter 3). When Raya was at home or with her friends, she identified as a Mexican,
because that is what everyone else was. When she was with specific family members
however, she recognized her Puerto Rican heritage to appease their image of her. I
personally can back this up as well, due to my experience of having to denounce one
nationality in support of the other depending on which family members I was with. In
retrospect, I see this as damaging to my self-image, because of my family’s pressure on
me to solely belong to a particular part of my ancestry. If my identity is confusing to me
now, think of how confusing it must have been to me as a small child caught between the
people I love. This pressure was damaging, because it gave me the feeling that neither of
my backgrounds was good enough to satisfy even my own family. It was like they were
forcing me to split myself in two pieces and say one part of my identity was bad. With all
of this happening to me as a small child, I am surprised I didn’t turn out with a split
personality. Actually though, that truly is what being multicultural feels like, a split
personality. Being multicultural is like having a split personality, because it forces an
individual to identify with only a piece of themselves based on the circumstances they are
in.

Another aspect of labeling deals with how people are looked at in this country in
opposition to how they are perceived in the country of their heritage. As Raya found out,
if she didn’t describe herself as a Latina, then she was a "sell-out" to her Hispanic
heritage. In addition, no matter how hard she tried to fit in to white American society, she
was always just a "spic" to them. Richard Rodriguez and Guillermo Gomez-Pena are
other writers who have also identified this as a problem for multicultural people in the
search for an identity. Rodriguez, an American born Mexican, offers the anecdote of his
aunt from Mexico City calling him a "pocho." A pocho being a person who forgets about
his heritage. She calls him this because of his statement that he was from "America,"
meaning the United States. She disputes this by explaining that America is a whole
hemisphere (Rodriguez 34). Gomez-Pena, a Mexican who travels to and lives in the
United States for periods of time, identifies with whichever culture he is in. If he is in
Mexico, then he is a Mexican. If he is in the United States, then he is a Chicano. The
ironic twist to this is that when he is in Mexico other Mexicans see him as a Chicano,
because he has denied his Mexican heritage by going to America. Similarly, when he is
in the United States, Americans see him as another Mexican who has crossed the border
to our country (Gomez-Pena 23). For most people of multicultural heritage the labels
leave them caught in the middle of two or more cultures, not really belonging to any one.

All of these labels and categorizing leave a lot of multicultural people at a loss for an
identity to call their own, which is extremely confusing. Raya’s main dilemma was
dealing with a new environment and finding herself at the same time. Trying to please
your own perception of yourself is hard enough without having to fit into someone else’s
mold. Another Michigan State student, Melani Saranillo, explains that she is comfortable
with who she is, but doesn’t always know who that someone is. She jokes by saying, "I’m
just a mutt" (Carter 3). Trying to claim an identity involves a lot of factors including an
individual’s clothes and actions, which are factors that are flexible and subject to change.
Nationality and culture however, are in the blood and are permanent. Even if someone
denies a certain aspect of their heritage, it is always there and will have at least an
indirect effect on their identity. This applies to the way I choose to see myself. Even
though I look Mexican, I identify more with being a white American, because of my
Polish heritage. This is confusing to other people who would like to lump me into just
being a "Mexican jumping bean," when I know I could also be considered "a dumb
Polack" as well. Neither of which are flattering.

Trying to find an identity in a society full of labels if difficult for every individual. It is
especially hard though, for those who are born with more than one component to their
identity. This whole dilemma however, boils down to being yourself. No one will ever be
simple enough to completely fit into a single group with a label on it, because each
individual is a separate category unto themselves. Finding an identity is a personal
struggle and people should follow their hearts. Labels never cover every aspect of an
individual or even a group, and can be more confusing than beneficial. So instead of
trying to fit into society’s categories, people should work harder to just be comfortable as
they are. As Anna Lisa Raya puts it so simply, "Soy yo and no one else. Punto."
Meaning, I am myself. ...Period.

Works Cited

Carter, Kelly L. "Group Combats Multicultural Issues." State News 9 Oct. 1996: 3.

Gomez-Pena, Guillermo. "A Binational Performance Pilgrimage." Drama Review 35.3

(Fall 1991): 22-45.

Raya, Anna Lisa. "It’s Hard Enough Being Me." Inventing America: Readings in Identity
and Culture. Ed. Nancy Lyman. New York: St. Martin’s, 1996. 219-221.

Rodriguez, Richard. "Go North, Young Man." Mother Jones July/Aug. 1995: 31-35.

Yu, Connie Young. "The World Of Our Grandmothers." Inventing America: Readings in
Identity and Culture. Ed. Nancy Lyman. New York: St. Martin’s, 1996. 30-37.