In this 32

page edition

Surrey Sabbatical Elect resigns

| NEWS | PAGE 7

JOSH BATES details the process

behind the making of barefacts |
FEATURES | PAGE 19

THE ONION | ISSUE 3 | CENTRE

PLUS THE BARE ESSENTIAL REVIEW...

barefacts
Monday
30 April 2007
Published by the
USSU Comms Office
Issue Number 1111
FREE
www.ussu.co.uk
The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper

THE BIG BARE ESSENTIAL READ

sophfacts joshfacts annefacts shannonfacts mikefacts

hunterfacts jakefacts sophiefacts wreakesfacts maryfacts
ellafacts cheethamfacts hansonfacts petefacts colinfacts
paulfacts salinsfacts scottfacts hawkinsfacts batesfacts
welfarefacts ohmyjoshfacts abeygunasekerafacts tobyfacts
blakefacts patrickfacts southfacts iredalefacts saffacts
yipfacts tylerfacts mattfacts tonyfacts natfacts everettfacts
sandyfacts aaronfacts gregfacts sophfacts joshfacts

2 30 April - 25 May 2007
Two final notes from the Editors...
I SUPPOSE YOU are expecting my last ever editorial to be
about thanking the team and expressing how sad I am about
this being the last issue… and you would be right. But also,
this editorial is a time for reflection. I have come a long way
in the past year, if someone had told me that I was to be
the Editor of a university student newspaper I would have
laughed in their faces. But, it was my dream to become a
journalist, and I have worked immensely hard to get where I
am now. Over the past year, creating barefacts has been one
turbulent journey; there have been some fantastic moments,
but also some hard, stressful and tough times. But, it just goes
to show, if you have a dream, you should just go for it.
I sincerely hope that whoever takes barefacts over next
year is as passionate about it as what I have been, I have been
criticised; but I have worked my hardest on it, even when I was
down, stressed and over-loaded with coursework, barefacts
has been sent to print every Friday. No one knows what goes
into making an issue. And yes, it wouldn’t have been possible
without some key people, Josh, my fantastic Co-Editor and
our resident Geeeza, Aaron.
Many of you will soon be reading about my resignation as a
Sabbatical, and I would like to make it very clear, leaving was
not an easy decision to make. In fact it was quite possibly
the barefacts almighty
2006-07
EDITOR | SOPHIA HAWKINS | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
CO-EDITOR | JOSH BATES | cs52jb@surrey.ac.uk
That’s it for this year. Special thanks to everyone who contributed no matter how
big or small! Want to get involved? Look out for the AGM in September 2007!
DEPUTY EDITOR | ANNE ABEYGUNASEKERA | eep1aa@surrey.ac.uk
DEPUTY EDITOR | TOBY SHANNON | ph51ts@surrey.ac.uk
NEWS EDITOR | MIKE BLAKENEY | bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
ARTS EDITOR | PATRICK HUNTER | bf.arts@gmail.com
ARTS EDITOR | JAKE SOUTH | bf.arts@gmail.com
FEATURES EDITOR | SOPHIE IREDALE | bf.features@gmail.com
FEATURES EDITOR | SAFFRON WREAKES | bf.features@gmail.com
PG TIPS EDITOR | MARY YIP | m.yip@surrey.ac.uk
SCIENCE EDITOR | JOHN POND | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
SOCIETIES EDITOR | ELEANOR TYLER | bf.societies@gmail.com
SPORTS EDITOR | MATT CHEETHAM | bf.sport@gmail.com
SPORTS EDITOR | ANTHONY HANSON | bf.sport@gmail.com
PUZZLELORD | COLIN EVERETT | ma41ce@surrey.ac.uk
COPY EDITOR | PAUL SANDERSON | li31ps@surrey.ac.uk
NOT NEWS EDITOR | PETE NATTRESS | cs51pn@surrey.ac.uk
MARKETING CO-ORIDNATOR | AARON SALINS | a.salins@surrey.ac.uk
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | GREG SCOTT | ussu.president@surrey.ac.uk
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the University of Surrey
Students’ Union Communications Office.
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey Students’ Union or the University of
Surrey. This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied
or distributed, without the express permission of the publisher beforehand.
Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited
Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey, GU1 1QA
Submission is no guarantee of publication. barefacts reserves the right to edit
submissions. Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor.
WWW.USSU.CO.UK/BAREFACTS
© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2007
EDITORIALS
the hardest ever. I have worked very hard for the Union, and
for the students, and I am 100% convinced that there are so
many things that we, as students, could do to make life at
Surrey better than great! But, I have been offered an amazing
grievances | LETTERS | PAGE 4 & 5
position in Brussels, which I am incredibly excited about. I
admit I am terrified, thinking about missing my family and
friends, wondering whether it’s the best thing to do, but do
you know what? Sometimes you have to go with what your
heart says over your head, this summer, in the 4 months we
have off think about what you really want from life and seize
the opportunity to do it.
I hope you have enjoyed reading barefacts this year; I
honestly have enjoyed making it, even if it does take 30 hours
of my time every other week! I will be reading from Brussels
next year I promise you. What’s going on around campus? |
To all those leaving for pastures GRAPEVINE | CENTRE PULL-OUT
new, good luck!
Thanks to a wonderful team…
Sophia Hawkins
Editor 2006-07 LOTS OF SPORT | SEE BACK PAGES
IT IS DIFFICULT to
believe that this is
indeed the very last
edition of barefacts
for this academic year
already, especially after
only ten editions of the
paper since September; a happy time, when everything
seemed so fresh and new. It may not seem like much
to the average reader, but despite being something
that I am immensely proud of, barefacts has led to
many late nights and early mornings for myself and my
partner-in-crime, Soph. More on her later though.
Sitting in an office for 25+ hours a week can be
a pretty unenviable and thankless job that many of
my friends have questioned the point behind. It can
drive you utterly mad and up the wall, lead to the
stupidest of arguments but at the end of the day, when
it all goes to print and comes back looking all pretty,
yet never perfect (believe me, we try), the feeling of
accomplishment and achievement makes it all worth
it. Aww, how clichéd of me.
I couldn’t leave barefacts to go on placement without
mentioning my pet hate of the year: the disastrous
debut of the “all new” editorial team that was issue
1103 (heh, didn’t that all sound more glamorous than
it actually really was?). A great, bumper packed edition
that came out looking like a turd due to a muck-up by
the printers. barefacts: bigger, better and back looking
like its been shat on. From a great height.
I’d like to think this year that the paper has been
brought back to basics, in lieu of a VP Communications
to guide us along the way, after last year’s revival.
We’ve persistently strived for a balanced newspaper
that was informative in both news – national, local
and campus-wide – as well as addressing current
issues, advertising events and gone for something a
little different that has been a departure from the
past. I admit, I was sceptical about the whole Surrey
Stud & Campus Honey thing, but alas, it seems on the
barefacts
Also in this Special
Bumper Edition
The latest moans, rants and
SOPHIA HAWKINS explores the
truth behind online dating |
COMMENT | PAGE 16
This edition’s fortune tellings |
THE HORROSCOPES | PAGE 13
In need of Careers advice? |
DR RUSS REPLIES | PAGE 11
whole there is at least one or two people up for, erm,
“advertising their availability” (so-to-speak) in the
student newspaper once a fortnight.
This year has been a time of difficult transition. First
year was, quite frankly, an amazingly good, fun time
and one of work that was rarely taxing. Conversely,
second year has been rather deceiving: initially
straightforward and unproblematic, only to be bitten
on the arse by the end of the first semester to realise
things have just got that little bit worse. Who knows
what is in store for my placement?! Or final year for
that matter…
Possibly one of my personal barefacts highlights was
Issue 1109. My edition as Acting Editor – my baby. Did
anyone notice? Probably not… You bastards!
Working with Soph on barefacts this year has
certainly had its ups and downs. An incredibly
enthusiastic person/girl/thing, but equally stubborn
and headstrong. In a nice way, naturally (except for
when she disagrees with me). Looking at how far
we’ve both come since September 2005, well, its been
quite the journey, metaphorically speaking of course.
Good luck to her in Brussels; it’ll most certainly be
weird not working with her next year!
Taking an active part in your students’ newspaper
can definitely provide you with invaluable skills that
will look great on your CV. You don’t need to be the
world’s greatest writer, just enthusiastic and competent
enough to give it a go. barefacts is made by students
for students and that means anyone can take part in
all the fun that goes into making the paper (which by
the way, is detailed on page 19 of this edition).
Happy reading for Issue 1111 (that’s 15 in binary,
FYI). For lack of a better word: it’s colossal and Oh
My Josh, it was mega stressful! I anticipate Issue 1112
greatly; good luck to next year’s editorial team…
whoever you may be.
Josh Bates
Co-Editor 2006-07
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
Lib Dem Leader visits Guildford
BY JOSH BATES
CO-EDITOR
SIR MENZIES CAMPBELL, leader of the Liberal Democrats,
visited the site of the planned new University of Surrey
Sports Centre on Wednesday 4th April following a visit to
the A&E department at the Royal Surrey County Hospital.
Sir Menzies, who has given strong support to the campaign
to save the hospital, met Deputy Chief Executive Sue Lewis,
Chris Coates, a leading consultant and staff and patients in
A&E. He then met members of the Save the Royal Surrey
Campaign Team. He commented that “People expect and
deserve good local health services and want reassurance
that there are adequate emergency services nearby.
“Closing the local Accident and Emergency Service at
the Royal Surrey is unacceptable. Shutting the unit could
jeopardise the lives of local residents and could also impact
on other services provided by the hospital. The people
of Guildford and South Surrey deserve a fully functioning
hospital that will look after them in an emergency.”
Ming also visited the Tesco Underpasses not far from
the University campus. Following several attacks in the
area there have been calls for CCTV to be installed in the
Ming meets the Surrey Sports staff
Ming also visited the Tesco Underpasses - pictured here with
Sue Doughty, Chris Ward, Cllr Tony Phillips & Steve Freeman.
NEWS
3
underpasses which many
students living at Manor
Park or going to the
Tesco superstore walk
through, often alone, on
a daily basis.
barefacts caught up
with Sir Menzies for
a brief interview (see
below) before he was
met by Barry Hitchcock
(Director of Sport), Sally
Edie (Head of Sports
Programmes) and Nick
Short (VP Sport &
Recreation) to discuss
the implications and Ming listens to staff concerns at the Royal Surrey County Hospital
opportunities of the
new University of Surrey Sports Centre. World Record Holder 2006 - GB Adaptive Rowing.
Sir Menzies, who competed in the 1964 Olympic and The Surrey Sports Centre at the University of Surrey - a
1966 Commonwealth Games, was captain of the UK unique opportunity to create a world class sporting facility
athletics team 1965-6 and held the UK 100 metres record in Guildford - will not only benefit the University and the
for seven years from 1967, then chatted with fellow Scot local community, but will also provide a venue for training
and Olympian, Allan Wells as well as Vicki and competition at a regional and national level.
Hansford Sports Development Officer at
the University and World Champion and ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Quick Questions with
Sir Menzies Campbell MP
Question 1: These are of course the local elections, and like the General Election in
Surrey, students don’t usually tend to vote. Why should they vote, if indeed they should
at all? What makes local government important to students in their university town?
MC: Well, local government decisions often have a more direct effect on peoples’ quality of life
than some of the decisions that are taken in Whitehall. Students are citizens of the community and
if they are concerned about the sort of communities they live in, they most certainly should vote.
Quesiton 2: The issue of student finance has been pushed to the back of the
agenda in national politics. Could you reaffirm your commitment to a free
education, and also commit your party to being against any removal of the 3k cap?
MC: Yes. In Scotland we have, as part of the executive of the Scottish Parliament,
we have achieved no tuition fees - that’s one of the achievements of the Liberal
Democrats in the Scottish Executive and it remains, obviously, a priority for our party.
Question 3: Who do you think will be the next Prime Minister: Gordon Brown, David
Miliband, or someone else? Do you expect them to call a general election within
six months of being elected, and what implications would that have for your party?
MC: I think it is likely to be Gordon Brown. I think there a number of people who haven’t quite
got the courage to offer themselves against him and I think that the likelihood of anyone serious
doing it now is pretty remote. Brown’s been ready for ten years, and in particular the stability
which he has brought to the economy is something that people will regard with great importance.
Question 4: A lot of noise has been made in the media about a possible Labour-
LibDem coalition after the next General Election. Can you confirm or rule
out a possibility of any coalition with either Labour or the Conservatives?
MC: I have made it perfectly clear that my objective is maximum votes, maximum seats, maximum
influence and I’m not going to let the party be distracted by talk of coalitions. You can’t campaign
for a coalition or a hung parliament, and I have no intention that the party should do so.
Question 5: What’s more fun – politics or athletics?
Athletics – it was more fun at the time!

4 30 April - 25 May 2007
Letters to barefacts Letters must be received by September 2007 to guarantee
their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Sabbatical campaigns
on par with Mugabe
Dear barefacts,
Congratulations to all the new sabbs elects! I bet they’re all
absolutely chuffed with their hard-won positions, especially
since after all their hard work campaigning, an astonishing less
than 10% of the student population even bothered to vote.
Wow. I have to say, pestering students outside the library
right next to the polling station was a genius move for those
candidates who chose this particular election strategy, if
they’d been armed they’d be right on a par with Mugabe.
I think it would have been fantastic if RON had won one
or two positions, it may have made students actually pay
attention to the election process and may have made them
stop being so apathetic. Just out of curiosity, the vote quotas
you’ve stated show a candidate must win the majority of
votes cast for the position - is there a required quota on total
number of votes cast? I ask as winning with just 583 votes
(Mark “Zeph” Griffiths) out of a potential 15,000+ student
votes is just ridiculous: this guy is now representing the entire
student body even though not even 4% of them actually voted
for him. Just an example. I hope the new sabb team can do
better next year to push the students out of their apathetic
ways and get them involved, I really do!
Yours,
LAURENCE
barefacts would like to confirm that, in response, that there
is no required minimum quota on the total number of votes
required during the sabbatical elections.
Students Assembled
in Apathy
Dear barefacts,
I recently attended a meeting of Student Assembly on March
15. A change to the advertised 2pm start (it had seemingly at
the last moment been moved to 6pm with no explanation) I
turned up wondering if even the bribe of 100 free tickets to
St. Patrick’s Night at Rubix would actually result in a quorate
meeting. From the outset of the meeting the answer was
simple: not even a bribe on this scale was going to get 30
people to show up, let alone 100.
The governance review of the Union’s constitution has
quite frankly been a joke, with Student Assembly being the
butt. Only one sabbatical officer could be bothered to turn
up (the others “are out representing you” we were told - but
only the Union President’s prescence at University Council
could be accounted for - where indeed were the other two?).
Meanwhile, only four part-time Executive officers out of a
potential seven were present.
The reason nobody turns up to Student Assembly
is because, honestly, what is the point? Motions means
LETTERS
absolutely NOTHING. Student Assembly is a “recommending
body” - which essentially means if the Union Executive don’t
agree with you then there’s NOTHING you can do about it.
Motions at Union Council actually meant something but now
that power has been taken away. Is there any surprise why
students can’t be arsed?
Of course, it will be argued that we, as a student body,
elect these ‘representatives’ onto the Union Executive to
make the decisions for us. But when has it ever been true
that an electorate has ALWAYS agreed with its chosen
representatives? The way Union council worked allowed the
Executive to be held accountable to their jobs and mandated
to follow through with what students wanted from them.
Whilst there was potential for stupid motions being passed
(see: the Grant Mitchell Committee Room) there should be
a way of differientiating between these stupid motions and
those who actually want to make genuine change.
Now, we can ask questions to them (when they bother
to turn up) or remove them from office. When a mere 45%
of the Union Executive turn up to the most recent Student
Assembly (advertised also as the Union’s AGM) then the latter
option begins to look rather attractive, even though it too
would probably be overruled in some way. Even the elected
sabbaticals for next year outnumbered the current sabbaticals
who attended! Congratulations to Sophia Hawkins, Michael
Blakeney and Thayana De Paula. Shame on the others - you
know who you are, even if your electorate doesn’t.
Union Chairman: nobody will turn up to your Student
Assembly no matter what bribes you present them with.
Nobody should be forced to turn up to your Student
Assembly as it should be their democratic right not to. Only
when power is returned to its people will those people
bother to make an effort.
And for your information, Student Assembly would be far
more successfully placed in the same time, venue and week
every month. All these changing times just leads to confusion.
And thus concludes the rant,
Peace and big love,
THE PEOPLE’S CHAMPION
Local Council
Elections
Dear barefacts,
On 3rd May, students will have the opportunity to voice their
disapproval of the inaction on student safety (particularly
with regards to putting CCTV in the Tesco underpass) by the
current Guildford Borough Council administration.
More than ever, this election will be about people, not
parties. We have thoroughly enjoyed talking to students
over the past few months over the things that concern them
and what we can do to make their lives better whilst they
study in Guildford. The level of backing and support students
have given us despite formerly supporting other parties is
overwhelming. The message you have given us is clear –
University of Surrey students want to see action from people,
barefacts
not party-political rhetoric.
We have very much gone further than any of the other
candidates in supporting student matters. We were the only
candidates to march in London with 10,000 other students
against removing the cap on the £3,000 a year top-up fees.
We were also the only candidates to make the effort to turn
up to the Manor Park student meeting at the beginning of the
academic year to hear your views and speak up for you. At
a later stakeholders’ meeting we managed to convince the
University representative to look into the possibility of post-
Union buses to Manor Park. Our campaign to get CCTV in
the Tesco underpass has reached over 500 subscribers on
Facebook.
Our commitment to Surrey students is unrivalled. You have
been ignored by local politicians for far too long, and it is
time for change and action on the issues that matter to you
most. You deserve to feel welcome in your university town
as residents who very much contribute to the prosperity of
Guildford. You do not deserve to be continually treated like
lodgers who go home at the weekend and are ignored till
election year.
You get three votes on 3rd May if you live within the two
campuses of the university or in the surrounding areas of
Onslow. Please use all three votes to back Steve Freeman,
Cllr Tony Phillips and Chris Ward. Help us continue to speak
out for you, and help us make sure your safety in Guildford is
put to the top of the priority list.
Yours,
Steve Freeman
Cllr Tony Phillips
Chris Ward
http://www.libdems4onslow.co.uk
Manor Park
Mentoring
Dear barefacts,
I am concerned with the pastoral progress that Manor Park
has made so far this year, both from its title of “student
village” and also in terms of the lack of a senior resident
system throughout the court.
Perhaps the definition of a village as “larger than a hamlet
but smaller than a town” might be accurate up at the Park,
with 700 rooms already available and another few hundred
planned in phase 2, but where is the central focus for village
life, the village hall if you will? My previous experience of a
university residence was a 360-student hall, which had a large
central common room as a social focus, with a small bar that
was open in the evenings and which was adequate for the
residents’ needs. The Manor Park Mentoring Social events
put on would benefit so very much from a large central
social space such as this, and it would make Manor Park feel
more like a community despite the peat bogs, heavy plant
machinery and unplanted, grass-void areas that still remain
at our “home”.
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
More Letters to barefacts
The Manor Park Mentoring system, a pilot scheme with
funding for the first two years of Manor Park’s existence,
seems to be working well from the perspective of pastoral
and social input from some hardworking and interested
student mentors. However there is an elementary lacking in
this system, which is not a reflection by any means whatsoever
on those mentors who put a great deal of time and effort
into running it, in that mentors are assigned outside of their
own residential group, be that a corridor, stairwell or block,
and as a result there is a fundamental lack of responsibility
within those residential groups as no-one is acting as an
authority figure to deal with immediate and common issues
such as noise and general disturbance. The warden might be
responsible for this as a whole, but with 700 residents and
substantially more coming over the next couple of years, I do
not believe that a single individual is a suitable or effective
authority figure. I would suggest that long-term care and
well-being might be better served by a mentoring system, but
that in a large and demographically mixed environment such
as Manor Park, some form of senior resident system as a first
line of authority within the court is still required and is in
fact desperately lacking. The two systems ultimately need to
work side-by-side for highest efficacy, as they actually target
very different issues, and I would look forward to seeing
Manor Park Mentoring extended to include and pioneer this
dual scheme as best practice for all the University courts.
Yours,
NAVEED
Response to
Islamophobia article
Dear barefacts,
I read with interest Chris Ward’s article on Islamophobia
in the last edition of barefacts, though I must say I disagree
with much of his analysis. In fact, I find it particularly strange
coming from a former president of USSU’s LGBT society.
Chris seems to equate criticism of Islam with racism, a link
that far too many people are making these days.
I do think there is cause for concern with certain
interpretations of Islam, and there isn’t enough serious
discussion of these concerns around at the moment. One
of the reasons for this is the instant cry of “racist!” from
members of the left any time anyone tries to voice concern.
It’s worth reiterating that Islam is a belief structure and set
of values. That the majority of it’s members have brown skin
is, to me, of no importance. What is of importance to me is
the values.
It concerns me that Yusuf al-Qaradawi, a man described as a
moderate representative of Islam by Ken Livingston, believes
homosexuals should be punished by death. It concerns me
that Sir Iqbal Sacranie, seen to be the voice of British Islam,
believes that death would have been too good for Salman
Rushdie after he wrote The Satanic Verses. Where is the
moderation there?
I’m not a particular fan of any religion. I’m an atheist and
a staunch secularist. What is clear to me is that the west
has been fairly successful in reforming and modernising other
religions.We’ve managed to secularise them. I hope the same
can be done with Islam, and that it doesn’t go the other
LETTERS
way and radicalise. However, what I am NOT willing to do
is accommodate values I wouldn’t accommodate in the rest
of society for the sake of appeasing or showing respect to
“religious sensitivities”.
The left needs to re-think attitudes to Islam, and stop
reinforcing the “victim” mentality. It needs to support the
progressive elements within Islam, which do exist. These
elements mirror what were the left’s cherished enlightenment
values: freedom of speech, human rights, gender and sexual
equality, rationalism. Organisations like Secular Islam (www.
secularislam.org) need support to take their values forward.
They need the support of people like Chris Ward, as it’s clear
his heart’s in the right place.
However, the left’s insistence on shutting down any debate
and discussion with cries of “racist!” won’t allow this to
happen. I fear that the effect it will have is that the only people
who will criticise Islam in future will be the far-right, like
the repugnant BNP. These are the true bigots. Not the who
simply want to highlight some of the current issues regarding
the integration of Muslim values with Western values.
Yours,
NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED
barefacts contacted Chris Ward to allow him a chance to
respond before it returns in September 2007...
Chris Ward responds:
Dear barefacts,
I would like to express my thanks to the author of the
letter analysing my Islamophobia article for sending me his
comments in advance to allow me to respond alongside
himself in the same edition of barefacts. Although he and I
know each other fairly well, and quite often have colourful
debates of this nature, I will respect his decision to keep his
identity anonymous.
He seems to be under the impression that I have put
forward an intrinsic link between criticising Islam and
racism. This most certainly is not the case, and as he knows
from a debate he turned up to not so long ago, I value
freedom of speech as a great virtue of our society in this
country. Everybody has the right to agree with something,
and conversely everybody has the right to disagree with
something without fear of oppression. Religion is not
exempt from this. What I do condemn, however, is when
people believe they have the freedom to oppress.
A woman has the right to walk down a street wearing a
veil without having to fear verbal slurs from others. I am
not an apologist for any member of a religion that believes
they have the right to oppress, in the same way that I’m not
an apologist for any non-religious person who assumes that
right.
On the doorstep recently on my canvass travels I met a
man who told me his only criticism with my party was our
“moral stance” on what he referred to as an “invalid lifestyle”.
There can’t be exceptions for anyone when it comes to
equality, and I simply pointed out to him that there were
many people who believed religion should be banned in this
country in the same way he feels a certain lifestyle should
be banned – does that mean we should do it? My point was
proven – to take away somebody’s right to believe something
is oppression, and to take away somebody’s right to live their
5
own life the way they choose is similarly oppression. That is
something I fight. I hope the author will acknowledge that
my usual approach to somebody like this is not to point the
finger and shout “homophobic!” or “racist!” at them, but to
engage and persuade. This is the only way we will stop the
rise of the far-right at the hands of disillusioned people.
Regardless of what the author has said, if somebody
chooses to judge somebody by their appearance of what they
believe to be “a Muslim”, then it no longer becomes a fear of
a religion, it becomes a fear of what they feel personifies that
religion. I have spent a lot of time with many of the Muslim
community at Surrey, and they most certainly are not the
intolerant oppressors that the Daily Mail types have come to
portray them as. I simply do not want them to be judged by
a misguided fear, much like some members (and I’m proud
to say only a minute number) of the LGBT were when I was
President of the society. We may have a right to offend, but
we don’t have a duty to.
I reiterate, everybody has the right to believe or not believe
what they want. Everybody has the right to agree, and to
disagree. There is a massive difference between disagreeing
with somebody, and oppressing them for their views. That is
the vice we must all condemn.
Yours,
CHRIS WARD
Missing Posters
Dear barefacts,
Have you wandered around campus recently and seen all of
the posters advertising student events and items for sale?
No? You must’ve been looking around on a UCAS open day
then!
I’m appalled that I’ve wasted £15 and the time taken for a
group of us to print off posters and put them up on the white
boards only for them to be removed within hours of them
being put up. And the only reason I can see that they have
been removed (on Tuesday evening/Wednesday morning) is
for a UCAS open day.
Some of you may remember a few years ago when we
weren’t restricted to putting up posters on a handful of white
notice boards sparingly located across campus.The University
actually seemed more vibrant and alive with student activities.
These days it seems like even the white boards aren’t safe.
I can understand removing posters that were put up in and
around buildings and walk-ways but I thought the whiteboards
were the one place where we could put up posters! Can we
please have confirmation that posters on the white boards
won’t be removed? The £15 I wasted on printing posters
wouldn’t go amiss either!
Yours,
NAME AND ADDRESS SUPPLIED
That’s all folks!
barefacts would like to thank everyone who has submitted
a letter this year; big, small, angry, annoyed, anonymous or
otherwise they’re an important part of the paper! We’ll be
back in September 2007, so get writing/ranting...
 NEWS
barefacts
6 30 April - 25 May 2007

Surrey risks fines for taking Well done Surrey!

in too many students BY MIKE BLAKENEY
NEWS EDITOR

BY JOSH BATES Education Funding Council for England] to THE MAGNIFICENT STUDENTS at the University of Surrey
CO-EDITOR give us additional student numbers”. The latter, have raised over £3,000 for Hope and Aid Direct during the
he claimed, could take far too long to achieve. first RAG week at Surrey following a temporary hiatus over
WITH THE RECENT application jump for The introduction of top-up fees of up to the last few years.
autumn 2007, many of England’s most popular £3,000 a year per student makes it easier for Speaking, Vice President of Societies and Culture Thayana
universities, including the University of Surrey, universities to exceed their quota of students, de Paula said that, “The RAG Week was the best experience I
are at risk at being fined by the government. because they can afford to incur the fine. have had for a long time. The charity that will benefit takes aid
National figures show a 7.1% overall “I would be in favour of lifting the cap,” said directly to the families that need it most.”
increase in applications, whilst Surrey has Prof Snowden “although I think it should stay Amongst the events that took place was a “Free for Food”
recently enjoyed an increase of 39.2% - with if you fail by five percent to meet your target event whereby students were allowed free access into Rubix,
engineering up 43.1% and physics 47.8%. figure”. The Vice-chancellor suggested that in exchange for dried food. There was also an International
Surrey is amongst many institutions considering the cap was obstructing the government’s Gala and an X-Factor competition.
ignoring the current government cap on how objective of getting 50% of students into RAG, or Raising and Giving week, hadn’t taken place at
many students they recruit, which would higher education by the end of the decade. Surrey for the last few years, and this year heralds its return.
be incurred if the university accepted more A spokesman for HEFCE said there was scope
than five percent above its limits of students. for flexibility under the current system, adding,“if a
Professor Christopher Snowden, Vice- university does go beyond its contact range it would
chancellor of the University of Surrey, is urging not get any additional funding from us. IT would be
ministers to abandon the“cap” on student numbers likely to be lowering its unit funding per student”.
– which was introduced to give the government Early in February,Tony Blair announced plans to
control over the financing of universities. give universities £1 for every £2 raised from private
Prof Snowden commented: “There are two endowments – subject to a maximum £2 million
options which could be open to us: put up
with the fine or persuade HEFCE [the Higher
per university. At present, Surrey gets 51% of its
finances from the state and 49% from elsewhere. barefacts. be heard.
Reality TV Gets the University Treatment
BY MIKE BLAKENEY competitive spirit to create an intelligent thought-provoking Professor Matthew Holley, Sheffield’s acting head for
NEWS EDITOR show. biomedical sciences, said universities operated within a
“The Airtel Scholar Hunt will tap into the growing aspiration global market.
THE INDIAN SHOW, also to be broadcast by Sky, will see among Indians to study overseas and will be exactly the kind “We recognise the substantial talent and dedication of
potential scholars battle it out im academic tests for one of of programme that suits NDTV’s well-informed audience: young people in India.
five scholarships worth up to £800,000 at UK universities. modern, aspiring Indians, with an expanded world view and “The scholarship programme will provide a very exciting
The universities involved - which include Leeds, Cardiff, the ambition to make the most of their lives.” opportunity for the department to build much stronger
Warwick, and Middlesex - will pay the winners’ fees and living Leeds University Vice Chancellor, Professor Michael collaborative links with India and should bring substantial
expenses on top a place on courses including engineering Arthur, commented, mutual benefits in both teaching and research.”
and journalism. “This scholarship and the novel way it’s being run, will help Universities are increasingly looking towards India as a
Producer, Aran Thapar who works for New Delhi TV Leeds raise its profile further in India and show potential growing market for foreign students who may want to study
said that,“Our aim is to mix academic excellence and the students just how much the university has to offer.” in the UK.

Pop, Dance, Old Skool & RnB

Feat. DJ Phil Brown
Saturday May 5th 2007
10pm - 3am, Rubix
First Saturday of every month www.teaseguildford.co.uk
Running through the Summer in June and July. £3 NUS / £5 Non-Students.
www.myspace.com/teaseguildford or join “TEASE Events” on Facebook.com
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
The University of Lisbon, South America,Tahiti,
Fiji, Sydney and Shanghai, oh, and Japan...
BY MIKE BLAKENEY
NEWS EDITOR
ROYAL CARIBBEAN have leased out one of their 29,000-
ton, 660-foot ocean liners, to be converted into what is
possibly the world’s first sea-bound university. “The Scholar
Ship”, backed by a consortium which includes Cardiff
University, will have a Library, Student Union, and even
a theatre. Six hundred students, both postgraduate and
undergraduate, will take the 13-week journey via Lisbon,
South America, Tahiti, Fiji, Sydney and Shanghai, and Japan,
while studying subjects such as international business,
Uni$ restructure causes job losses
BY JOSH BATES
CO-EDITOR
THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY is to press ahead with
its plans to cut support and administrative staff in what
it is referring to as the “University restructuring”. This
decision has faced criticism from the joint campus trade
unions Amicus, UCU and Unison who have made a
statement suggesting the plans will primarily affect junior
staff who are typically employed locally, thus creating
a significant adverse impact on the local economy.
The statement issued by the joint unions suggests that
University of Surrey staff hold very little confidence that
the quality of services offered by the institution will be
upheld as a result of the cuts, despite claims in the Surrey
Advertiser from a University spokesperson that the
restructuring would not bring about any negative impact.
Surrey Sabbatical Quits
By-election set to take place for VP Welfare 2007-08
BY JOSH BATES
CO-EDITOR
SOPHIA HAWKINS, the current Editor of barefacts and a
second year Politics student, has resigned her position as
Vice President of Welfare for the academic year 2007-08
two months before she was due to begin her year as a full-
time elected student
representative.
Ms Hawkins, who
has chosen to accept a
Politics-based placement
in Brussells, commented
that: “I was very much
looking forward to being
VP Welfare, however
at this time going to
Brussels is much better
for my individual career
NEWS
international relations, and international art and culture.
The UK representative for The Scholar Ship, John
Larkin commented that, “When people think of a
cruise they think of holidays, but it’s very much seen
as a progressive transnational education project,”
“It’s not a spin-off from the holiday industry.”
“The whole premise of the programmme is experiential
learning, Getting out into the field.”
Such luxurious learning has a price tag though, somewhere
in the region of £10,000 in fact. They will get to take in the
sights though on their tour, with a few days off at each stop.
“It’s an interesting initiative,” Sandra Elliott, director
The unions stated: “Many of the posts affected are in
key student facing roles and their loss will inevitably have
a negative effect on the student experience. Furthermore,
development. It was most certainly not an easy decision
to make especially as I had many aspirations for the role.”
Greg Scott, Union President, meanwhile is proposing a
motion to the Union Executive which, if passed, will prevent
anybody who resigns a full-time sabbatical position from
standing in a sabbatical election again. Mr Scott unfortunately
could not comment in time before barefacts went to print.
Paul Coward, Deputy Returning Officer for the last
election and the forthcoming one, said “unfortunately Soph
has found a better offer elsewhere which is a pity as I
thought she would have done a very good job as VP Welfare,
given her feisty nature I’m sure she would have made it a
really interesting year at the Union, but like the jilted bride
at the alter we must move on! Anyone who is interested in
becoming the new improved VP Welfare should come and
visit me in the Union so I can fill them in on a few details and
also so they can get their mitts upon a nominations form.”
A by-election for the role, which was created this year
after a decision to split the traditional VP Education & Welfare
7
of Cardiff’s international development division said,
“For students it’s an incredible international experience
and there’s a synergy of what they’re offering and
what we offer. It’s not a financial motivation at all.”
“I’m a bit sceptical, but who knows?” says Svava Bjarnason,
director of the Observatory on Borderless Higher Education,
“They may be well ahead of the curve. It’s good to see
innovation, and this is pretty innovative.”
Only time will tell how successful the ship is, which leaves
in September, and will arrive in Japan in mid-December.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
the extra administrative loads that will need to be
taken on by Lecturers and Tutors will inevitably impact
on the quality of teaching and research and will inhibit
the University’s aspirations to maintain and develop its
position as a leading teaching and research institution.”
Are you afraid this will impact your degree? Watch the
video on the USSU website where the Union President
Greg Scott intervies the VC and make your own
opinion. If you are still concerned come to the Student
Assembly on 8th May at 6pm to ask the VC directly!
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
position, will take place immeniently in the forthcoming
weeks. Nominations close on Friday 4th May at 2pm, with
campaigning commencing on Monday 14th May and voting
from 16-18th inclusive. The result will be annouced in
Chancellors at 7pm on Friday 18th, a mere hour after voting
has closed. Students registered on the all-new USSU web site
will be able to vote online for the very first time at Surrey.
barefacts anticipates that this will change the nature of the
campaigning surrounding
the election, which has
previously been attributed
to being intrusive with
candidates and their
respective campaign teams
attempting to woo voters
outside polling stations.
Contact Paul Coward on:
p.coward@surrey.ac.uk

8 30 April - 25 May 2007
Fairtrade: To be or not to be?
BY OLUCHI UGWU
IS FAIRTRADE THE answer or is free trade the answer? Or
maybe a better way to begin is what is free trade and what is
fair trade? Walk into Sorrentoes on Campus and you won’t
fail to notice faces beaming at you; farmers in Africa returning
from the farm, a handful of school children smiling away, all
representing certain products. The suppliers of such goods
assure us that by purchasing fair trade products, disadvantaged
producers in the developing world are getting a better deal.
But how are we sure? How would paying 20p more for a bar
of chocolate enhance the life of a Third World farmer living
miles away?
Browse through the internet, the financial pages of
Newspapers or even text books and you’ll read headlines such
as ‘China refuses to fully open up borders’, or ‘New Economic
World Order, a Threat to World Trade’. Such headlines reflect
the belief that the (international trade) market should be
allowed to take care of itself, with all countries competing on
a level playing field free of special treatment being meted out
to any. In other words, ‘free trade’ .
In a debate, ‘Free Trade versus Fair Trade’, held in Christ
Church,Woking, five guest speakers, with strong backgrounds
in economics, were invited to shed light on the issue.
The debate kicked off with Philip Booth, a Professor at City
University and a free trade advocate. In his opinion poorer
countries, which have the most protectionist economies, are
doing themselves more harm than good than by protecting
their economies, after all the fastest growing economies today
The Student View: Should the troops be taken out of Iraq?
Adam Brown
19
Physics
“With the political
instability, pulling troops
out will create a void of
power. It needs to be a
gradual process of bringing
them out. You need to
create infrastructure in the country and make the country
self-sufficient.”
George Markides
26
Chemistry
“a) Shouldn’t be there
b) Blair doesn’t know
history – as the British
tried to install a puppet
Monarchy which was
overthrown. History is
repeating itself.
c) Should take the troops
out now and split the country in three pieces.”
FEATURES
are liberalised. If poorer countries are going to progress they
need to open up their markets.
According to him, by helping a handful of producers in the
Third World, fair trade is not solving the problem. If anything,
fair trade is marginalising producers because its impact is
limited to a select number of producers. The way out is for
these countries to industrialise and let the market be left to
its own devices.
The Chief Executive of Traidcraft, Paul Chandler, thought
differently: ‘Fair trade is about giving other human beings
dignity’. It is about providing training, skills and practical help to
producers. It is about trade justice. When we buy fair trade,
we are sending out powerful statements to the government.
We are telling the government, these are the values we feel
should underpin our society. Fair trade is using market forces
to do this.
David Woodward, Head of the New Economics Foundation,
rubbished Booth’s assertion, stating that: ‘To suppose there
can be equality between impoverished producers and a
handful of manufacturers is nonsense.’ He argued there is
very little connection between the economics that underpins
free trade and neo-liberalism in the real world. The politics
of trade allows the West to get away with protectionism and
subsidies. There is no way the poorer countries can compete
when the field is tilted against them. On this basis, free trade
cannot work.
David McCullough, Trading Director of Oxfam, refused to
accept that the responsibility lay with the West. In is opinion,
‘if they stand up long enough, the rich countries are likely to
Theodosis
Stoitsas
23
Law
“Yes they should
take the troops
out of Iraq. They
shouldn’t have been
there in the first
place. The troops are aggravating the political situation,
endangering the troops and lives of the citizens”
Piers Gilbert
19
Sociology
“I don’t think it’s a
good idea they should
go. Now they’re there,
pulling out too quickly
will create a civil war.
It has to be a gradual
process. We need to
fix what we’ve broken
before we leave.”
barefacts
bend’. Their destiny rests in their own hands. Smaller positive
action is likely to bring far more benefits.
When asked by a member of the audience, what a perfect
trade package deal should look like, Paul Chandler responded:
‘fair trade is not a one-shot solution.’ For trade justice the
West should remove tariffs and gradually remove subsidies.
Reduced tariff barriers would ensure that poorer countries
obtain wider and better access to the markets of Western
countries. Furthermore, Western countries should stop
dumping subsidised goods on poorer countries.
If you’re getting bored and beginning to ask, “what does all
this ‘international wrangling’ have to do with us as students?”
“How does it affect us?” “Where do I come into the
picture?” One thing is certain, how you purchase even the
simplest item, such as a cup of coffee at a Café, can have an
impact on how Third World producers are treated, and even
on emerging trends in International Trade.
The key then is to shop circumspectly, keeping in mind the
issues. We might not have all the solutions for making the
world a better place, but taking a firm stand one way or the
other can make all the difference.
Which side are you on?
For a more detailed examination of the issues, See J E Stiglitz
and A Charlton, Fair Trade for All, Oxford University Press,
New York, (2005).
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Joanna Innes
23
Nutrition
“I think we should take
them out, but if we
take them out now,
it will leave a mess.
We would have done
nothing except get rid
of Saddam Hussein and left more of a mess.”
Natalie Allain
20
Nursing
“I think they should be
withdrawn immediately.
The situation has got
worse since the war
finished two years ago.
The reasons for staying
are not happening – it’s not becoming more stable. UK
and US troops must leave and the UN should take over
control. Power needs to be given back to the people.”
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
Are you paying a deposit for an off Campus house?
BY RICHARD PAXTON
ACCOMMODATION OFFICER
6TH APRIL BRINGS a major change in housing law that will
benefit students in particular.
If signing an assured shorthold tenancy and pay a deposit to
a landlord after 6 April 2007 the landlord must protect your
deposit in a Tenancy Deposit Protection Scheme ‘TDS’. The
benefit to you is that your deposit will be held independently
so that getting it back, provided you have complied with your
tenancy agreement, should be quicker and easier.
The following Q&A’s should help explain:
Why have the schemes been introduced?
The Government has introduced the schemes to protect
tenancy deposits and provide a fairer system for settling
disputes about the return of a deposit at the end of a tenancy.
Before introduction of these schemes, if a landlord kept all or
part of your deposit it could be difficult to get it back. With
the new schemes, an independent service helps to resolve
disputes about deposits at the end of a tenancy. This service
is free for tenants.
Will I be protected by the scheme?
You will be protected by the scheme if you are renting a
home from a private landlord or letting agent on or after 6
April 2007, and your tenancy is an assured shorthold tenancy
(this applies to most new private tenancies), and you are
paying a deposit.
What if I paid a deposit before 6 April 2007?
If you paid a tenancy deposit before 6 April 2007, then you
will not be protected by the scheme.
What does my landlord or agent have to do?
After you’ve paid your deposit, the landlord or agent must
then protect your deposit using a tenancy deposit scheme.
There are two types of scheme available.
A custodial scheme. With this scheme, the landlord or
agent pays the deposit to the scheme, which will keep it until
the end of your tenancy.
An insurance scheme, where the landlord or agent keeps
the deposit but pays insurance premiums to the scheme.
This means that the deposit is insured if there is any dispute,
FEATURES
and the scheme will repay the tenant the agreed amount
directly. The insurance scheme can charge fees to landlords
for membership and can require contributions towards the
costs of insurance.
It will be up to your landlord or agent to decide what
scheme to use. They must then provide certain information
to you within 14 days of the day when you paid your deposit.
This information includes:
• The landlord or agent’s contact details
• Which tenancy deposit scheme they are using and the
contact details for the scheme
• Information about what the deposit is for
• How you can apply to get the deposit back at the end of
the tenancy
• What you can do if there is a dispute about the deposit
Is there anything I need to do?
When you move into a property, it’s also a good idea to draw
up an inventory. An inventory is a detailed list of the contents
and condition of the property and any items provided with
it, such as furniture or equipment. Having an inventory
can help you resolve disputes at the end of your tenancy
about whether you’ve caused any damage to the property
or whether items are missing. It is in your own interests to
take care of the property you are renting. It is worth taking
pictures of any damage present in the property when you
move in.
Will I have to pay anything towards the scheme?
No, your landlord or agent should not ask you to pay any fees
towards the scheme.
Some landlords may decide to increase your rent to cover
the costs associated with the insurance scheme.
What can I do if my landlord or agent doesn’t provide
the required information or hasn’t protected my
deposit?
If your landlord or agent hasn’t protected your deposit and
provided the required information within 14 days, then you
can apply to the county court for an order that the landlord
or agent should pay the deposit back to you, or protect it in
one of the tenancy deposit protection schemes. The court
will also order the landlord or agent to pay you compensation
equivalent to three times the value of the deposit you paid.
The landlord or agent must do all of these things within 14
9
days of the court order.
What happens at the end of my tenancy?
When you leave, if you and your landlord or agent both agree
on how much of the deposit you should get back, you should
get it back within 10 days of agreeing.
If your deposit was held in a custodial scheme, you will also
receive some interest on the deposit. The custodial scheme
will repay tenants direct, either by cheque or by electronic
transfer. Deposits held in the insurance-based schemes will
be repaid by the landlord either in cash or by cheque, as they
choose. Deposits held in the insurance-based schemes will
not pass on any interest to the tenant.
What if there is a dispute about getting my deposit
back?
Your landlord or agent is only entitled to keep all or part
of your deposit if they can show that they have lost out
financially because of your actions, for example, if you have
caused damage to the property, or you owe rent. Ask your
landlord or agent for a breakdown of the specific costs that
they are taking out of your deposit. Your landlord or agent
cannot keep your deposit to cover putting right normal wear
and tear.There are rules on what costs can be deducted from
your deposit.
If you don’t agree that your landlord or agent should have
kept all or part of your deposit, or you disagree with some
of the costs that they have taken out of it, then the tenancy
deposit protection scheme your landlord or agent has used
will offer a free service to help resolve disputes. Information
on what you need to do if there is a dispute will be contained
in the information your landlord or agent will have given you
at the start of your tenancy (see above). Each scheme will
contain an Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) service.
When a dispute occurs, and if you and your landlord both
agree to use the service, you will have to agree to accept its
decision and will not be able to apply to the courts. If you or
your landlord do not agree to use the ADR service then the
dispute will usually go to the county court.
Where can I get more information?
You can get more information about the tenancy deposit
protection scheme from:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en
TenancyDeposit/index.htm

one paper - one voice - barefacts - be heard.

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10 30 April - 25 May 2007

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barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
Dr Russ Replies
answering some of your questions as your time at surrey draws to an end
Where can I look for vacancies after
I’ve graduated?
Throughout the summer we will be producing
a weekly vacancies bulletin which we will be
very happy to e-mail to you. The Prospects
website www.prospects.ac.uk is another
excellent source of graduate vacancies.
The site also carries details of specialist
publications and websites which may have
vacancy information for specific occupations.
Just click on “Explore types of jobs”.
Is it worth registering with recruitment
agencies?
You would be wise to at least consider using
agencies as part of your job search. Some
advertisements are placed by agencies
anyway so if you are interested in the job
on offer you will have no choice but to reply
through them. You can also use agencies in
a more deliberate way by contacting those
who you think might be helpful. There is a
website which lists them all according to the
region of the country in which they operate
and the types of vacancy which they handle
at www.rec.uk.com. Click on “Details of REC
Members”.
What about writing speculatively?
Some graduates consider that writing to
employers in the hope that they have vacancies
is a waste of time. The evidence, though, is
entirely the opposite. Some employers don’t
even bother to advertise their vacancies
since they know they will always be able
to pick up good applicants from those who
write on the off-chance. All you need to do
Come and take a dip in SPLASH!
BY PENNY BURDEN
HEAD OF SKILLS & PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT
AS I’M SURE you’re all aware, the third floor
of the Library has been closed off to students
since last summer – access to the periodicals
which were housed on that floor has been
via electronic media (where available) or via
the inter-library loan service. Work has
been ongoing since the summer to move
the periodicals to a store elsewhere on
campus and clear out the floor ready for
the establishment of a new skills centre to
be known as SPLASH – Student Personal
Learning and Study Hub.
SPLASH will be opening to students after
the Easter vacation and those students taking
the time to drop in and visit the space will be
amazed at the transformation. All the shelving
has disappeared and in its place is a light,
FEATURES
is to structure your CV in such a way that
you appear to be tailor-made for the kind of
position you have in mind. Add a persuasive
covering letter, spelling out your reasons for
writing and the particular strengths which
you would bring to the job, and an employer
is hard-pressed to put off seeing you. Even
if they don’t have immediate openings, they
might put your letter on file.
And networking?
Surrey graduates seem to be good at this. It
involves letting as many people as possible
know that you are job-hunting. Some
contacts are particularly worth cultivating.
Your Professional Year Tutor or Personal
Tutor for example, may receive calls from
employers who want to fill permanent
positions. Friends who are returning to or
already working for an employer may be able
to advise you about unadvertised vacancies.
Members of your family may either help you
directly or know someone who can. A good
way to approach people is to ask for their
advice. Most people love giving you their
opinions and their experience of the job
market can prove invaluable.
Will there by any recruitment fairs
taking place over the summer?
Most major cities will have them with the
number of employers attending varying
between 30 and 150. For a complete guide
to all of the Fairs run by university careers
services, pick up Prospects Finalist in the
Careers Service towards the end of May or
check for details on the Prospects website
bright, airy space with comfortable seating
giving a very pleasant work environment in
which students can study - either with their
colleagues in small groups or on an individual
basis.
The full SPLASH service will be offered
to all students from September 2007 but
the SPLASH team are hoping to encourage
as many students as possible to make use
of the resource during the run up to exams.
There are three rooms which students can
book out to use for small group working and
there are clustered seating areas which will
also allow for group working. A pc zone
is situated in a corner of SPLASH which
has fixed pc’s for student use and tables for
students to plug their lap-tops into should
they prefer to work on their own computers.
Workshops are planned which will focus on
aspects such as Revision Strategies, Exam
www.prospects.ac.uk. You’d be wise to treat
your conversations with employers at fairs as
if they were first interviews. They are there
to talent-spot so the impression you make
is critical. Take copies of your CV and keep
a check list in your head of the things you
would regard as your major selling points such
as value of degree, exam successes, relevant
work experience and so on. Prepare to
drop these into the conversation at suitable
opportunities.
Is it too late to consider postgraduate
study?
It is still not too late to secure a place on
a postgraduate course, be it Certificate,
Diploma, Masters or Doctorate. The key
thing is to identify a suitable opportunity and
then get in touch with the course provider
as soon as possible. The Prospects website
www.prospects.ac.uk will help you to identify
courses. Some will be full, but not all, and
it is possible to secure funding even at this
late stage. One word of caution, however,
try to give at least some thought to where
it might lead you. Course providers or
Careers Services should be able to provide
you with information about the destinations
of previous students. You may find that the
course doesn’t lead in quite the direction you
have in mind.
What about taking time out?
Every year about 30 or so Surrey graduates
decide to do something different. Travel and/
or voluntary or temporary employment are
the most popular alternatives. If you would
Technique and Stress Management to try and
support students during this busy time.
The team work very closely with staff
in SCEPTrE and students who have been
involved in SCEPTrE organised activities this
year will find that the two areas work in close
collaboration with much complementary
activity planned for the future. Students are
encouraged to speak to the team in SPLASH
to let them know of activities etc. which they
would find useful to support them both in
their studies and personal or professional
development as this feedback will drive
future provision.
The SPLASH team currently consists of
Penny Burden, Head of Skills and Personal
Development; John Baxter, Research Training
and Development Co-ordinator; Marc
Griffith, Learning Development Co-ordinator
and Helen Sterne, PDP Co-ordinator. By
11
like to check out some of the possibilities, the
Careers Service has a number of books which
might help. Taking a Gap Year & International
Voluntary Work are especially useful.
Is there anything else you can do to
help?
We will be running a Before You Go Week
between Monday 21 and Friday 25 May.
The week will include opportunities to
meet employers, sit practice aptitude tests,
attend career choice seminars, have your CV
checked and so on. Watch out for details on
the Careers Service website http://portal.
surrey.ac.uk/careers
Can I still use the Careers Service after
I’ve graduated?
Definitely. Everything available to you as
a student will continue to be available
after you’ve graduated. For example, if
you haven’t decided what to do yet, a chat
with a Careers Adviser could help you to
sort out your strengths, interests etc. and
relate these to suitable careers. We can
also advise you about application forms
and interview technique, CV preparation,
choosing between options and so on. We
will be open throughout the summer so you
can get in touch anytime. You can ring 01483
689001 or e-mail careers@surrey.ac.uk
if you’d prefer. There is no charge and you
can continue using the Careers Service for
as long as you need to. Finally, we will have
a Job Hunters Pack for you in the Careers
Service before you leave. Just drop in if you
would like one.
September it is hoped that part-time learning
support tutors will be in place to work with
students on aspects of their academic study
which they feel could be improved.
The SPLASH team will not be taking
over other established services on campus
so students requiring language support will
continue to be directed to the Department
of Language and Translation Studies, students
with dyslexia or other special educational
needs will continue to work with staff in
Additional Learning Support and student
welfare issues will be dealt with by the
Student Advice and Information Service.
Come and visit us in SPLASH – it adds a
whole new dimension to the Library!!
Please note: students are not permitted to
bring food or drink into SPLASH - but a new
café space is being planned for the first floor
of the Library, ready for September ’07.

12
Agony Sisters To The Rescue
Hey all, Sister Sophie here. This is my last issue as I am graduating this year, and I just wanted to say thanks for
reading and sending in your problems and embarrassing moments. I have enjoyed doing the paper and shall
miss it, but I have to go into the big wide world! So, wish me luck and I wish you all the best for the future.
What to do with my life?
THE PROBLEM:
I am in my final year and about to graduate but have started
thinking about when I leave. I don’t have a clue what I
want to do with my life, and am also scared of losing my
friends as I have never been one to stay in contact with
people even when I want to! I would appreciate any advice.
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
So many people are in this position so don’t panic. As for
the career, do a search on the Web and loads of graduate
jobs will come up, or go to the careers office on campus
and they’ll help you any way you need it. With relation to
keeping in touch with your friends, leaving Uni will help you
figure out who your real friends are. There are so many
ways to stay in touch, facebook, myspace, and arrange get
togethers. Don’t let your friends go…they are valuable.
Should I move in or not?
THE PROBLEM: My boyfriend wants to move in with me
Embarassing Moments
Emergency exit
I am a such a chicken, I admit it, and I really proved it
when my mate dragged me into the chamber of horrors in
Madam Tussauds! I didn’t want to go, but my friend made
me as she didn’t want to go herself, and I thought I would
be ok, but when I got in there and people started jumping
out at me I started shitting myself! I was screaming, and
absolutely inconsolable! My friend had to get one of the
men to take us out of an emergency exit! It’s strange now
because I know they are just men dressed up in costume,
but I don’t think I’m ever going to go back there again!
International Week a success!
BY VISHNU PRIYA GADEPALLE
THE INTERNATIONAL WEEK had begun just at the right
time when we students were frustrated with the so called
‘academic world’. This week we had to perform and entertain
the audience and get appreciated!! It sounds simple, but it
involved lot of organisation, interaction, rigorous practice and
brain-storming sessions.
All the members of Indian Student Association (ISA) got
involved with much energy and enthusiasm to show off their
talents. We all had successfully managed to get the right
balance between our personal and academic life (for a few
weeks!!). Most of the performances were group dances. So
FEATURES
and I am not sure if I am ready for that kind of commitment.
He doesn’t go to Uni and still lives where I grew up, quite a
long way away, and he has decided he would like to live in
my student house next year. I love him, and we have been
together for ages, but the thought scares me a little. What
should I do?
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
If you love him, what’s the problem? Living with someone
is the ultimate test as to whether a relationship is going to
work or not and it is a scary thing. However, talk to him about
it and make sure you have an agreement between you both
that if things aren’t working then you talk about it and if you
need to go your separate ways then you can. Good luck!
Dream job or travelling?
THE PROBLEM:
I have been offered an excellent job when I finish Uni,
but I am not sure if I want to take it as I really want
to travel. However, I am not sure this opportunity will
come up again. Should I put off my dreams of travelling?
Juggling is not egg-tastic!
Why do guys always feel the need to show off? I was
shopping at Tesco’s with a mate of mine when he decided
to impress me with his juggling skills. Did he chose
oranges or something soft like that? No…he chose
eggs! And what happened? He was juggling then, quite
impressively I must say, until a little kid distracted him and
he dropped them all! What a plonker! Massive mess, and
I made him go and tell someone so he could clean it up
himself! Think he needs to put his juggling skills to rest!
the practice sessions were absolute fun. New friendships
blossomed and it was ecstatic time with old friends. We all
have celebrated this wonderful occasion showing to the
people -world’s largest diversity (India) yet standing together!
Our successful team beat with one heart and we all had
enjoyed this gala time tremendously.
These were the few best weeks we’ve all had together. I
would like to mention special thanks to Thayana and Zoë from
the Students’ Union. They were of great help and extended
their timely co-operation in an efficient manner even when
we bombarded them with zillions of questions.
Thanks to all the organisers and the Vice-Chancellor.
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
Travelling is a great experience, but it will always be there. If
this job is as good as you say it is then you have to take it as
you may never get an offer like this again. The company may
even let you take a sabbatical and you can take time out in a
few years to travel. Maybe talk to them about it, but definitely
don’t miss the opportunity of a lifetime…but make sure it really
is a job you want because you may be stuck in it for a while.
Maybe I should quit...
THE PROBLEM: I am about to finish my first year and I
don’t know if I want to carry on with my degree. I haven’t
enjoyed it very much and am not sure if I am really going to
need it. Is quitting the answer?
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS: University is a life changing
experience and can shape your future. If you can stick with
it, do so as you may regret it in the future. Maybe join some
groups next year to increase your social life. However, if you
really are unhappy, talk to someone about it before it gets you
down. Either way, you need to be happy!
Fall caught on CCTV
I was at work the other day and me and the other staff were
playing around, trying to be the first to answer the phone
and putting others off when speaking to customers! At one
point, the phone rang and I ran for it, but as I went behind
the till I fell over flat on my arse! It really hurt, and customers
were laughing at me as I lay behind the till in agony! The
worst bit was that it was all caught on CCTV and a picture
is now up in the staff room…shall never hear the end of it!
bf.features@gmail.com
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007 FEATURES 13

Almost Accurate Astrology

Aquarius
21 Jan – 19 Feb
Things are bubbling inside you and not in a
good way! You have to let it out before it is
too late and it starts eating you inside. Make
sure no one sees you doing that thing that
you do, or you may be red-faced.
Lucky advice: Look out for toadstools!
Lucky day: Friday
Pisces
about it first to reduce the shock factor. You
shall begin to sleep better soon, but for now
just use the extra time to get things done!
Lucky advice: Don’t wear yourself thin.
Lucky day: Monday
Gemini
22 May – 20 June
Someone you admire shall come to you
this week, so make sure you carry a camera
wherever you go! Don’t overdo it on appear-
Lucky advice: Duck before it is too late! |
Lucky day: Monday
Sagittarius
23 Nov – 21 Dec
Things are raining down on you, but don’t
Virgo worry as an umbrella shall come to you soon
23 Aug – 22 Sept
in the form of someone fit! Dressing up is
Don’t give in to temptation this week, you
fine, but do it in your own time and don’t
are doing so well and it’ll only set you back
expect others to be up for it as much as you
and upset you. Clear it away and go jump on
are!
the bed. This shall prove a valuable source of
Lucky advice: Live for the moment!
therapy.
Lucky day: Sunday
Lucky advice: Take it on the head!

20 Feb – 20 Mar
A friend shall ask you to do something that
you do not want to do, and you must stick by
your guns or the relationship may be ruined
forever! Your personal space is important to
you, so don’t let them intrude.
Lucky advice: Watch neighbours for tips!
Lucky day: Tuesday
Aries
21 Mar – 30 April
An inconsiderate Cancer will bring chaos to
the end of your week if you’re not lucky. Rise
above it, just remember that being charitable
like you are you will be rewarded someday!
Lucky advice: Don’t look behind you!
Lucky day: Saturday
Taurus
21 April – 21 May
Your hidden past comes to bite on the butt
this week, so maybe you should tell someone
ances as some people prefer you as you are,
not who you pretend to be.
Lucky advice: Rock on to your heart’s con-
tent! | Lucky day: Sunday
Cancer
21 June – 22 July
Money is a concern lately, but just learn to
live a little less extravagantly! Try something
new without quitting before you finish the
job, it may be your life but it affects other
people too. You may find yourself apologising
to an angry Aries!
Lucky advice: Don’t give up the day job!
Lucky day: Wednesday
Leo
23 July – 22 Aug
You shall be rescued by your friends this week
when things turn out a little nasty between
you and someone. Remember violence is not
the answer, so brush up on your smart-allic
remarks and give it to them!
Lucky day: Friday
Capricorn
22 Dec – 30 Jan
Libra Partying may be on the cards, but watch out
23 Sept – 22 Oct
for someone trying to make you fall flat on
It’ll soon be over so just knuckle down and
your face. Embarrassing moments are always
let the hard work pay off. Do not let some-
the result of someone out to get you! Make
one else drag you through it or you shall
sure you give them competition.
never reach your full potential. Bananas shall
Lucky advice: Get the bus if you can!
help you through your difficult time, although
Lucky day: Thursday
a bit of redbull may be needed also!
Lucky advice: Party hard when it’s over!
Lucky day: Saturday
Scorpio
23 Oct – 22 Nov
You have a talent, don’t let it go to waste by
listening to the wrong people. Don’t let argu-
ments last forever, get over it and move on.
Use music as a source of motivation, jump to
the beat!
Lucky advice: Smarties have the answer!
Lucky day: Wednesday

barefacts
Apples
These aren’t going to be at their best until the autumn but
the supermarket ones are still ok.Whether you like them red,
green or a mixture, they’re high in fibre, they help to eliminate
Garlic
Did you know that if you rub a cut clove of garlic on your
foot, you’ll eventually be able to smell it on your breath? Me
neither but apparently it’s true… Plus you’ll have stinky feet.

SUPERFOODS
BY TOBY SHANNON
DEPUTY EDITOR
WE’VE ALL READ the reports about all the magic things that
you can eat to keep you healthy- pomegranates, blueberries
and so forth but let’s face it; they’re a little on the pricey
side and unless you’re into your fruit in a biiiiiiig way, they
might not be appearing on your shopping list anytime soon.
Here’s a list of things that are lousy with goodness- vitamins,
minerals, you name it- these bad boys are packed with them.
Then again, you can’t go wrong with a varied diet and a nice
piece of fruit every now and again.
Tomatoes
They’re starting to come into season so you can say goodbye
to the lifeless ones of winter and say ‘Hellooooooo!’ to the
juicy niceness of summer! Toms are great for the immune
system, packed with vitamins and they even have some
antiviral properties to help you ward off summer sniffles.
cholesterol and they even keep the doctor away. The malodorous bulb is a powerful helper for the immune
system and stimulates the production of white blood cells. It’s
Spinach also a powerful aphrodisiac [actually, no it isn’t, I made that bit
If Popeye was anything to go by, this has to be a good idea. up] and if used topically, it’ll keep away 100% of vampires.
This is full of Iron which is great for blood and muscles and
there’s plenty of potassium and calcium which is good for Herbs - Rosemary, sage and thyme
your teeth, bones and a healthy heartbeat. Some say ‘erbs but in English it’s herbs. Because there’s an ‘h’
Again, if it was good enough for Popeye… in it…
These leaves wilt down to nothing so fling them by the They have loads of natural antiseptic properties and
handful into pasta sauces or raw in sandwiches and salads. rosemary is good for the circulation and aids the absorption
of vitamin C. They’re excellent with meat- try rubbing a pork
Kale steak with olive oil, garlic and chopped rosemary and sling it
These dark green, wrinkly leaves are a little bit of an acquired in the grill.
taste but it’s got plenty of iron and fibre. It’s best if you briefly
boil or steam it and be generous with the butter.Alternatively, Well, there you
stick it in a stir-fry. go... a complete
banquet of
Broccoli goodies to
Personally, this isn’t my favourite veggie in the world but that keep you in
doesn’t mean it isn’t good! It’s great for the immune system, fine health.
blood and circulatory system. It’s not bad if you stir- fry it with
a bit of soy sauce and garlic and it’ll have a bit of personality. Super!
 PUZZLES
14
A special bumper edition of puzzles brought to you by our very own Puzzlelord,
Colin Everett. Unfortunately we didn’t have space for answers this time... oops!
Clues Across:
1) Seed; half of Ali Baba’s
password. (6)
4) Old name for graphite;
lead ores. (8)
10) German city, in which
the headquarters of the
European Central Bank are
located. (9)
11) Put firmly in place;
country house. (5)
12) They’re at the end of
your sleeves. Well, if you’re
wearing a shirt, they will
be. (5)
13) Cheesy London square?
(Cryptic) (9)
14) The crime of lying un-
der oath. (7)
16) Mustafa ----: Character
from Brave New World. (4)
19) Game fish; a singer who
can sing lower than bass-
baritone. (4)
21) A triangle with three
unequal sides. (7)
24) Surname shared by
P
S
E
U
D
O
K
U
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
Crossword
Anton of West Ham United
FC and Les of Newcastle
United FC. (9)
25) Sneak up on someone;
annoying person. (5)
26) US state, bordering on
Washington, Nevada and
Canada. (5)
27) Olympic event involv-
ing sprints of 100 and 200
metres, as well as shotput,
discuss and javelin throw.
(9)
28) Office of one in govern-
ment; the practise of faith.
(8)
29) See 2 down.
Clues Down:
1) A digital reproduction of
a document, rather than a
paper one. (4, 4)
2) and 29ac. Home stadium
for Shaun Wright-Phillips
and Joe Cole. (8, 6)
3) Constructs; models. (5)
5) The lightest metal. (7)
6) Thousands of years. (9)
7) Reviews records and
procedures. (6)
8) Surname shared by
Dermot and Michael, of Big
Brother fame and Ryanair
CEO-ship. (1’ 5)
9) Aldous ------: author of
Brave New World. (6)
15) A verdict reached with-
out any party expressing
dissent. (9)
17) Reel Dave appallingly
unveiled. (Cryptic) (8)
18) Answer; reaction. (8)
20) Spreading malicious, un-
true claims against someone
through speech. (7)
21) Attract; lure away from
duty or principles. (6)
22) Concur; support. (6)
23) Consecrate visible
chorda investiture. (Cryp-
tic) (6)
25) Provide food for an
event; make provisions for a
person’s needs. (5)
barefacts PUZZLES
30 April - 25 May 2007 15

Codebreaker
Fill in the puzzle and work out the corresponding letters to
the numbers in order to break the code. Then work out the
answer to the question below the key grid.

B
I
G

F
R
E
A
K
I
N

M
A
Z
E

16
BY A. N. OTHER
The Food Thief
IT STARTED WITH a piece of ham, which disappeared from
Mike’s shelf in the fridge early October last year. He talked
about that ham an awful lot, and I got the feeling that he either
a) suspected me, or b) was a bit of a kitchen-control-freak
(or c) both). Throughout October, he noticed little things
disappearing from his shelf, another piece of ham, a lump of
cream-cheese, a spoonful or so of mayo. He continued to
drone on about it ad nauseam and I laughed it away, thinking
him a fool. Little did I know, the food thief would soon come
to dominate our lives... In November, Andy started noticing
things missing. His milk, lumps of butter, baklava. We started
congregating in the kitchen, my flatmates and I.There were six
of us. It couldn’t be Andy, it couldn’t be Mike, they were the
victims, not the perpetrators. I knew I wasn’t guilty, and I was
pretty sure Anne, my best friend from home, was innocent
too. That left Victrola and John. Hrm... It couldn’t be either of
them, could it? Suspicion arose throughout the flat, giving the
air a twist of bile. About mid-November, I was cooking up an
omelette, and I noticed that there was an odd number of eggs
in the box. Strange, I thought, I always use two eggs at a time,
never one, never three. Soon enough, all the flatmates had
“had something stolen”.
We discussed over cups of tea the possibility of outsiders
accessing our kitchen. The flat next to ours had windows
adjacent to ours, I mentioned this but the others thought I
was being silly. Who would risk their lives for slices of ham
and milk? The cleaner, could it be him? No, he only comes on
The secret life of online dating
BY SOPHIA HAWKINS
EDITOR
OK, SO I ADMIT IT, I, at the age of 19 joined a dating agency.
And, do you know what? I am proud of it; in fact it’s probably
the best thing I have ever done! Admittedly at first I was
worried about the potential pervy stalker men, but in reality,
yes they could be out there people actually join these sights
because they want to find love.
At 19, you would think there was little need for me to join
a dating agency, and you are probably right, I could easily have
had my fair share of blokes from Uni, but I joined because I
was curious. But it was more than that, it seems all we can
do to meet potential matches is go out to a bar, get chatting
to someone and hope they take your number. But do you
actually know the person? Chances are, probably not! Yes,
you could be one of the lucky ones who were introduced
to your love interest through a friend, but as I say you were
lucky! Most of us other people have to battle with rejection,
embarrassment and awkwardness every day in the hope of
finding someone special. I needed an ego boost at the time
and it all seemed relatively simple, with a click of a mouse
and a little bit of information about myself I was good to go,
suddenly a world of hot men opened up to me (and ladies I
mean, there are some HOT men). Hurrah! Within a day I had
had 8 people interested in me and respond to my profile…
admittedly this did deter me somewhat with the majority of
them being 35! But, there were a couple of maybes, and I
found myself quickly drawn into the world of online dating.
COMMENT
fridays, yet food disappears every day of the week. Secretly,
I considered the possibility that I was the food thief. I had
once seen a documentary about sleepwalkers, and one of
them would go to the fridge every night and eat without
remembering the next morning. Could it be me? I cast the
suspicion away. When I got back to campus after Christmas,
Mike told me he had a suspect. It seems that after this person
had left for the holiday, food had stopped disappearing. From
then on, whenever something disappeared, he put angry
notes on the wall above the kitchen sink. “To whomever it
may concern, your lack of respect disgusts me!” and “I laced
my milk with laxatives, food thief”. He told me he had put
“something” on his ham, hoping that it would get stolen. Every
time I opened the fridge I heaved, the thought of “something”
mingling with my food was making me lose my appetite.
The kitchen turned into a pig-sty, nobody wanted to clean
it for the food-thief. I had dreams about rats dancing in front
of the refrigerator, playing with little dried up onion rings and
milk caps.The kitchen turned into a war-zone, everybody was
in a foul mood. I urged the others to be moderate, is it worth
it, I asked them, to lose our kitchen to this food thief? I didn’t
mind an egg or two disappearing, and at least the food thief
had the decency to never drink all my milk, always leaving me
a little for my morning coffee (which is more than I can say
for my brother, my own flesh and blood).
Months passed like this, names were never named, but we all
knew, and assumedly the food-thief knew as well. I wondered
what possessed this person, what drove the person to nick
other people’s items of food knowing how much it annoyed
It became addictive pretty quickly, suddenly what seemed
like a good laugh seemed like the best way to find a bloke.
Responses to my profile were pouring in, and I was having
at least two emails a day. I even had the option of telling my
would be match I wasn’t interested. It was just so easy to
find a bloke I actually wanted to date! Some profiles were
sparse with details, others were jam-packed, and one I came
across even had 30 odd pictures. I could quickly tell which
guys were players, or only on there for a laugh, names such as
‘snogtastic’ really gave that away!
After emailing one guy quite a bit we swapped msn
addresses, and seemed to get on great, from his profile I could
see we had loads in common. It wasn’t long before we were
arranging to meet up, and I admit, of all the online dating
processes this was by far the worst, but I had a great day…
Now I’m onto the third guy, my friends are amazed that I
have been on so many dates! But, he is definitely my last, let’s
just say, for the time being, I have met my match! It was all so
easy… much easier than meeting a guy in a pub, no wonder
soo many people are now joining online dating sites. Last
year alone, Uk based online dating agencies reported having 6
million subscribers (BBC)… 6 million people, hardly likely to
meet that amount of people in your local are you?
Here are my top tips for the dating world…
1) Be yourself! It was exceptionally easy to tell when people
were embellishing themselves. It was also easy to tell when
people were trying to be chatty when really they were quite
shy. Just be yourself, you wouldn’t want any ‘surprises’ when
you meet up with people so it is unfair to think other people
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
and disturbed. Well, I thought, two can play this game. I would
lay out bait, a piece of chocolate cake encased in plastic, or
an especially succulent looking piece of chicken. It wasn’t
tampered with or anything, I just wanted them to take it.
Perhaps hoping to catch them in the act, perhaps it was a
power thing, I don’t know. Things took off right before easter,
the food thief gained courage. Whole packets of salami were
stolen. I came home from a lecture one day to find what
had been an unopened jar of curry sauce half empty in my
cupboard. The nerve! A tin of green giant corn had been
replaced with a coop-brand corn. As if I wouldn’t notice! The
cup ran over when I heard John’s story. He had bought a
chocolate cake to share with a friend for his birthday. It was
in a closed box in the fridge. He had left the kitchen for a
few hours, and when he got back he found the cake on the
counter, opened and missing a big slice.
Last week, I was affected again. Anne had bought a box of
chocolate icing and cake-mix to make me a leaving-do cake.
The icing only lasted a few hours in the cupboard.That’s really
nice, I thought. No more games. Food thief, I know who you
are. If you read this you’ll probably know who I am as well. I
don’t mind the stuff disappearing, I’m really not bothered by
the thought of you lurking in my cupboards.What is bothering
me is a seething curiosity. I can’t sleep, I can’t think straight, it
has already affected my marks, I am absolutely dying to know.
Why did you take the box of chocolate icing, and leave the
cake-mix?
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
will put up with your ‘surprises.’
2) Don’t be afraid to make the first move… I am being
constantly ribbed now because with the guy I’m currently
dating I made all the first moves, but you won’t get if you
don’t ask. Making the first move may seem daunting but what
have you got to lose? You only have everything to gain.
3) Be weary when you meet up, but don’t be afraid to do
it. It took me two weeks before I met the first person, and
two previously arranged dates before I finally met him, I went
armed with a rape alarm and everything, but he was exactly
who he said he was. Ok, yes, there are some people on there
who are fakes someone I met was telling me of the emails
they were receiving from girls asking for money and that sort
of thing. But, the truth is there are lot more people out there
looking for love than you might think.
4) Have fun, don’t look desperate. Someone I know got
told by someone they met on a dating site that they were
‘a virgin and was looking for someone to ‘deflower’ him’ No
joke! What was her response? RUN! Just let things happen
naturally and enjoy yourself, you may find love within a month,
it may take longer, it may never happen, but the chances it will
will be more if you be yourself and have fun!
A lot of people reading this may be sceptical, is it really that
easy to find your life partner? Honestly, no, it is never easy to
find your life partner, but if you are looking for some fun, and
are willing to be found by the right person then give it a try…
you honestly have nothing to lose, but everything to gain!
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Remember to sign up to the Students’ Union Newsletter, Grapevine, at
http://www.ussu.co.uk/grapevine
Remember to sign up to the Students’ Union Newsletter, Grapevine, at
http://www.ussu.co.uk/grapevine
barefacts FEATURES
30 April - 25 May 2007 17

BY BEN MILLER
UN at UniS
STUDENTS FROM THE University of Surrey and further
all of you for your
commitment,
and wish you a
education colleges in the south east of England who came most stimulating
together to solve some of the world’s most intractable meeting.”
problems at the United Nations (UN) meeting at the The mock UN
University of Surrey, received a message of support from meeting was the
the head of the UN. culmination of
Secretary General Ban Ki-moon, sent a message to the ‘UN at UniS’
the students participating in the meeting, noting the project, which
importance he attaches to connecting with young people gave students key
and how the UN inspired him in a fundamental way. He transferable skills
said: “To succeed as Secretary-General, I will need to work that prepared
in partnership with every one of our Member States… them for the day,
“We the Peoples”, in whose name the United Nations was and for work
founded, have a right to expect a UN which serves the and life, such
needs of people everywhere. as negotiating,
“That is where I need your support. You can build a compromising,
better understanding of our United Nations -- what it consensus building
is, what it does, and what it can do. In that spirit, I thank and persuading.
American troops,” and “that Jerusalem be made a free
Students learnt
international city controlled by the UN.”

“That is where
about the views of other countries around the world,
All the delegates reconvened to discuss their
politics, the UN and how they affect their lives.
resolutions, which were passed in the General Assembly.
The Deputy Vice-Chancellor of the university, Professor

I need your
Lord Hannay, the UK’s highest representative to the UN
John Turner, opened the event and sent the student
during the first Gulf War and the genocide in Rwanda was
delegates off to their committees. Students took on the
the event’s guest speaker. He talked about the importance

support. You can

role of a country, which they negotiated and debated for. In
of the UN and the key challenges it faces and answered
the Human Rights Council, delegates discussed the human
students’ questions, including one about the proposals in
rights situation in Iraq and there were impassioned pleas

build a better
their resolution. Lord Hannay presented the best student
for an end to the spiralling conflict in the country.Tensions
delegates with prizes.
were high between delegates in the Special Political and
The project is run by the Department of Political,

understanding of
Decolonisation Committee, who were discussing the
International and Policy Studies at the University of Surrey
Israeli-Palestinian conflict.The committees were brilliantly
and is comprised of a number of events at the students’
chaired by Surrey’s politics students who ensured the rules
colleges, online activities, and the final mock UN meeting.
our United Nations were adhered to while at the same time ensuring free and
fair debate between all the delegates. Surrey’s students
were invaluable in helping put together resolutions which
The event also has the strong support from Minister of
State at the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Dr Kim

-- what it is, what it were successfully passed in both committees.

Delegates discussing human rights in Iraq noted their
Howells.
Ben Miller, the project’s Outreach Officer, said: “This
final event was a great success. The students thoroughly

does, and what it

deep concern for the suffering of the Iraqi people, and
enjoyed themselves and learnt so much about themselves,
sought “to restore Iraqi unity as the ultimate means for
politics, international affairs and the importance of the
a long-term solution to the humanitarian crisis.” They

can do. In that spirit,

UN. These students managed to solve some of the world’s
called for: “UN forces to create an all-Iraqi infrastructure
most difficult issues - maybe it’s time politicians started
so that Iraq with the help of other like-minded states
to listen to them.”

I thank all of you for

can redevelop and govern themselves.” The committee
The aim of this ‘UN at UniS’ project is to encourage
suggested: “that the present force remove itself within the
students to continue their studies and increase their
next 12 months. This will be overseen by a UN force.” The

your commitment,
aspirations in life. It offers participants the chance to reflect
delegates: “pledged international aid regarding education,
on their learning and contribute to various evaluation and
health, training for security and work forces, and free
dissemination activities, making it an engaging, inclusive

and wish you a

trade with relevant countries, as well as aid to refugees to
and democratic project. ‘UN at UniS’ is funded by the
promote independence of the Iraqi people overall.”
university’s widening access fund and contributes to the
Delegates discussing the Israeli-Palestinian situation
university’s wider aim of encouraging those who have
most stimulating authorised: “the creation of an independent Palestinian
state alongside the Israeli state.” They emphasised: “the
need for simultaneous cessation of all terrorist activity
been traditionally under-represented in higher education
to progress to university and continue their studies.

meeting.” from both sides as well as the Israeli’s leaving current

Palestinian activities,” and the “return of Palestinian
For more information about the project go to:
www.surrey.ac.uk/politics and click on ‘schools and
colleges’.
refugees to Palestine territory.” They proclaimed “that
Secretary General Ban Ki-moon there be a buffer zone of UN Peacekeeping corps to
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
control the borders to be comprised of Africa or Latin

18
GU2: Surreys Resident Radio Station
BY OWEN HINDLEY
GU2 STATION MANAGER
IT’S BEEN AN eventful year here at GU2,
with a lot of change afoot in the way we
operate, which will hopefully carry on
well into next year!
We were delighted to be asked to
host this year’s Freshers’ Fayre, being in
charge of the biggest sound system there
(except maybe for Presha!), and hosting
such an amazing array of talent, from
our own DJs to the sports clubs, music
societies and the Gospel Choir (who were amazing)
On the back of this we decided to be ambitious and run
a fully blown event of our own; Transmission, involving all
four (at the time) music societies, a ludicrously large sound
system, and a live outside broadcast from the Students’
Union. The turnout in the end wasn’t great unfortunately,
but those that did come had a good time, so I’m told!
With the freshers came a big influx of exciting new shows,
from Dazz’s Hotspot on a Thursday, Sazz’s Pet Sounds (did
you see the posters?), the ACM’s Box Social boys pumping
RANDOM
out the dance music shoulder to shoulder with the well-
established Cyclone Dance Show, and a massive boost to
the Breakfast show roster, meaning for the first time in
quite a while GU2 has had a breakfast show every day of
the working week!
Off-air, and indicating GU2’s move to more downloadable/
streamable content, we’ve hosted live sessions from some
great local bands, such as Without Grace, the Retox, Sea
Foam Green, and more recently Jenny Ball. We were also
there for Boris Johnson’s speech in Chancellors, the video
of which is in the pipeline, for release in the next few
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
weeks, and the USMC’s Vertical Marathon,
26miles straight up to raise money for
charity – at which we streamed the whole
event live on gu2.co.uk, and a video of the
event is also coming soon!
More experimental live coverage came
in the form of an outside broadcast from
Fahrenheit 55 in Guildford, where we
broadcast a live gig from Sea Foam Green
on air using the Internet – a first for us
and many student stations. In addition,
we were broadcasting Box Social’s nights
from various venues in Guildford, and more recently local
house & breaks label SpinOut! has joined us, with a view
to broadcasting their monthly nights, as well as exclusive
guests slots from their DJs.
GU2 is set to change dramatically next year, with a
bigger push towards online shows, podcasts, news, music
and video, whilst retaining the student-centred content
you should expect from your student station!
studio@gu2.co.uk
Get the picture.
Get involved.
Get online.
www.ussu.co.uk
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
The making of barefacts
Without articles, news stories, features and all the other general submission that make up every edition of
barefacts, your student newspaper – like many others – would not be where it was today. Naturally, there
would be nothing to print. Co-Editor, Josh Bates, reveals just how the process of transferring those written
articles, adverts and such to the actual pages which appear before your very eyes actually happens…
EVERY YEAR, every Editor and every person involved
in what’s known as the “lay-up process” maintain that
many, many hard hours of tough labour go into barefacts.
Throughout its many incarnations over the past 40 years,
this process has changed dramatically.Whilst the paper is no
longer designed using “onion-skin” stencils with ribbonless
typewriters, getting the paper to print and circulated around
campus is still a rather lengthy job from start to finish.
Each week this year barefacts has held an Editorial Team
meeting on Mondays at 6pm in the Union Committee
Room at Union House. Here, all section Editors turn up
(some more regularly than others) to discuss the impending
deadline of the current issue, submissions and ideas for
future issues. This can vary from feedback on old editions,
things going on around campus to also improving the
“Copy editing is the barefacts
paper and making the
process of getting it
out to the rest of the
student populace in a newspaper nightmare.”
more efficient way. Any problems are discussed here and
anybody wanting to make one off or regular submissions
are also encouraged to come along if they want to get
involved.
Outside of meetings itself, each section Editor gets to
work on their part of the paper. For the Features Editor,
this means finding the latest Surrey Stud/Campus Honey,
writing the Agony Sisters section and collating any other
‘Feature’-inspired submissions that they’ve been sent
– editing them when necessary and responding to e-mails
sent to them. Likewise, the News, Sport and Societies
Editors do something very similar for their respective
sections. For the Arts Editor, their job entails – other than
receiving copious amounts of post(!) – the fortnightly CD-
handout with their team of critics as well as reviewing gigs,
films and anything else which falls under the umbrella of
‘barearts’.
Meanwhile, the Editor and Deputy Editors are
responsible for the smooth running of transitioning the
submissions from section Editors to Adobe InDesign, the
design package used to lay-up barefacts. Whilst there are
various people involved in lay-ups process, including some
of the section heads, much of the lay-up falls to the Editor
and Deputy Editor (Design). This process takes place in
the Communications Office, located in the USSU Activity
FEATURES
Centre (two doors down from the Union President’s
office). The office, arguably barefacts’ very own hub, is
home to many late nights, early mornings and spontaneous
“It might sound simple enough,
right...? WRONG!”
meetings. Plus also the occasional nervous breakdown (I
kid you not).
barefacts works on a fortnightly basis. During its first
week of this rotation, the submission deadline is on the
first Friday. Similarly, the print deadline, when everything
must be ready and sent to print is midday on Friday of the
second week. barefacts is made by students for students
and naturally deadlines are often missed in light of study,
coursework and
exams. During
times of more
heavy workloads,
the paper can often suffer from a drought of submissions
or conversely be overloaded during less busy study times.
Either way, it is at the discretion of the Editor and the
Deputy’s to decide what goes where and to make up, if
possible, for lack of submissions from particular sections
whilst simultaneously answering e-mails, approaching
various people to write for the paper and liaising with
members of USSU staff – such as Alan Roy, Venue Manager
(who does the Grapevine section of the paper) and Aaron
Salins, Marketing Co-ordinator (who provides us with
various adverts and the like).
It might sound simple enough, right...? WRONG!
The barefacts Editorial Team, just like any other student,
also have their own degrees to do. Fitting in the time
– especially in light of delayed submissions – can lead to
odd working hours aside from the other frustrations of
trying to make the newspaper look presentable! Pictures
must be in the CMYK colour format (Cyan, Magenta,Yellow
and Black). The four so-called process colours (technically,
they are “subtractive” colours) that are used in four-color
printed reproduction. Most, if not all, received images to
the barefacts inbox arrive in the RGB (Red, Green and
Blue) colour format and converting the 70-90 pictures
included in every issue is a necessity before sending the
paper to print.
19
Copy Editing is the barefacts newspaper nightmare. Every
week, mistakes simply slip through the net. Whilst many
articles are indeed run by our Copy Editor, sometimes
looming deadlines can lead to this
process being cut out entirely for some
of the late(r) submissions. It is indeed a
sad fact of life.
Usually barefacts is all laid up and ready to go by the
Wednesday of the second week of its fortnightly rotation
plan. Whilst Sophia Hawkins & myself have lorded over
the paper as this year’s Co-Editors, lest we not forget the
almighty Editor-in-Chief, Greg Scott, our delightful Union
President.
Greg has the unfortunate job of taking home a draft copy
of barefacts at least 24 hours before the print deadline. As
Editor-in-Chief, his job really is not as glamorous as it might
sound.At this stage the paper is checked to prevent anything
that could potentially get us into legal problems slipping
through the net. This includes plagiarism, libel and anything
else that could land us with the law coming knocking on
our office door. It might seem odd having a member of the
USSU staff occupying such a high position of an editorial
independent newspaper, but the Editor-in-Chief only has
the power to stop things going to print for legal reasons,
not because it doesn’t take their fancy!
After having the draft copy returned to us (and loss of
the will to continue), changes are made to the final copy.
Any inaccuracies or inconsistencies picked up during the
checking of the draft copy are modified and any remaining
image or lay-up problems corrected. Each individual page is
than exported as an .EPS (Encapsulated PostScript) file that
is later converted, using Adobe Acrobat Distiller, to a .PDF
(Portable Document Format) file. Finally, these 24-32 (in
the case of this edition, 40) files are checked one final time
and uploaded to the printers FTP server.
And if anybody happens to notice a mistake in any of
the pages before that process is over. They are, naturally,
corrected and re-made.
The online copy of the paper is then exported and posted
on the barefacts minisite for the environmentally friendly
reading pleasure.
Then the whole cycle is repeated. Again, again and
again… And you know you’ve made a difference. Plus a
great improvement to your CV, too.
barea ts
Send your
enquiries to:

Arts Editors
Patrick Hunter
& Jake South

bf.arts@gmail.com

The Electric Soft Parade The Maccabees

No Need to Be Downhearted Colour It In
Truck Records Fiction, Polydor

‘No Need To Be Downhearted’ marks the Many who are into

triumphant and eagerly awaited return of ‘indie’ music, will no
The Electric Soft Parade - their first LP release doubt be aware that
since 2003’s ‘The American Adventure’, the Maccabees have
and incidentally, the only album they’ve been knocking around
released this year entitled ‘No Need To Be for some time now.
Downhearted’. Oh yes, it’s all groundbreaking They were on MTV2 (the
stuff here in Barefacts… primary source of all
ESP made their name with the release of ‘Holes In The Wall’: One of those albums my musical knowledge)
you just think ‘this is brilliant. I wish all music sounded like this. I’m going to go and roughly a year ago. Alas,
buy more music like this. Wow. I love it. I’m going to make some cheese on toast’. finally they are releasing
If you are unaware of this release, it was nominated for the Mercury Music Prize an album named ‘
in 2002 so FLIPPIN’ GO AND BUY IT. A mixture of astounding pop-riffs, fuzzy synths, Colour it in’ on the 14th
and gorgeous hooks, it was actually a real shame they didn’t achieve more May, with their single
widespread success. ‘Precious time’ out on the
This new release from Alex and Tom White (brothers, not married) is a step in a 7th May. Previously, they
different direction from their earlier movements – the first thing you notice is the have supported bands like the Fratellis and Bloc Party on tour, and now it seems are
lack of any instantaneous-punch-you-in-the-face riffs that would normally appear venturing out on their own. Out of the two they are most definitely more like Bloc
on earlier ESP releases. Of course, the odd one exists: ‘Life In The Backseat’ has the Party. They are a British 5 piece band, with a distinct sound. They sound similar to a
fun, organ-bursting Strokes-esque angle covered, ‘If That’s The Case, Then I Don’t lot of music around at the moment, but still manage to have a unique style, mainly
Know’ is more mature-sounding, but nevertheless, darn catchy, and ‘Cold World’ found in their vocals. This may seem contradictory, but it only takes one listen to
could’ve been lifted directly from ‘Holes…’ (in fact, it did appear on the boys’ 2005 realise that I’m not actually insane. My favourite tracks are ‘about your dress’ and the
EP, the ‘Human Body EP’). last track ‘Toothpaste Kisses’, but that might just be the old romantic in me! Currently,
HOWEVER, there are more sombre songs, and not surprisingly, these are the ones I am becoming a bit of an old woman when it comes to new music; I’m not really
that drag a little and aren’t as… fun. To be fair, I just want classic old ESP tracks. getting excited about any new bands out at the moment. Something seems to
But I can appreciate that sometimes you simply need to move on [sobs]. And this have gone missing, a spark that I used to like in some of the older ones such as
is exactly what’s happened. The word ‘mature’ applies a lot here; although the Blood arm and Milburn (though Q magazine would disagree). The Maccabees
cheekiness still shines through in a lot of the tracks, the ‘killer’ tunes just aren’t there. manage to put a slight smile on my face, but I don’t jump up and down about
What I really need to do is approach this album as an outsider, and listen to them. I don’t feel the need to tell anyone who will listen or frantically force people to
what ‘No Need…’ has to offer, as I do believe there’s more to it than meets the buy the CD because their life would be the better for it. However, that may just be
eye… me, and my old womaness.

3.5/5 3/5
Patrick Hunter Rachael Fitz-Patrick

Razorlight I had previously predicted (not cool I know) they

Earls Court, London opened with ‘In the morning’. The rest is really
a blur, I knew every song and every word and it
08/04/07 didn’t matter, because everywhere around me
there were other Razorlight fans, together we were
Razorlight were one of my first musical loves. I
not judged. Roughly 3 songs in, Johnny did what
loved all that they did, memorised all their words
he does best and took off his shirt. One thing he
and generally thought they were brilliant. This
did not do however, is introduce the band, which
was in high school however; no I’m not a total
I personally think is just a bit impolite. The lighting
loser. Whilst others, have put down their songs
and effects were amazing, and the amount of
and moaned about the arrogance of Johnny
preparation needed to organise a gig that big is
Burrell, I have relentlessly stood by them. When
all very impressive! Their final song of the night (in
I was given the chance to see them on Easter
the encore) was ‘Somewhere Else’. It was there
Sunday at Earls Court I jumped at the chance,
last night, so it was the last song of the whole tour,
almost exploded with excitement and began
which was pretty cool. The gig didn’t make my
to count down the days. I had never been to
life feel complete, but it certainly ticked a box, a
this venue before, and so in my mind hadn’t
big one at that.
really prepared myself for just how big it was.
As most of you probably know, it’s huge!! I got
5/5
there as soon as the doors opened, and settled
Rachael Fitz-Patrick
myself in what I deemed to be a good spot, and
waited. The support acts were nothing to write
home about, but I didn’t care. As 9 o’clock drew
Fancy getting involved in this section next
nearer it began to get very busy, and I began to
year? Find out more about the Arts section by
get more and more excited. When they came
e-mailing bf.arts@gmail.com
on stage I did the obligatory whooping, and as
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
An Interview with The Horrors
Concorde 2, Brighton
11/04/07
I had been sat on the railings outside of Concorde 2 for
a short while; enjoying Brighton’s ocean line views and
watching a small train/tram carry excited infants across
the beach. Shortly before, I had witnessed one of the
supports scheduled for the show at Concorde later
that evening, Neil’s Children, skim stones into the sea
whilst standing knee high in the water, skin tight jeans
rolled up to their thighs. Several events had already
happened, however as I sat in the sun a taxi pulled
up alongside me, shortly followed by another releasing
four dark and incredibly thin individuals; 4/5s of The
Horrors. Immediately a small group of youths circled
Faris Rotter, Spider Webb, Coffin Joe and Tomethy
Furse who enthusiastically signed souvenirs, posed for
pictures and were presented with home made gifts.
After observing the highlight of these loitering fanatics’
lives, Faris the lead singer of the band, headed in my
direction. Towering above me at 6’6”, I introduced
myself to Faris before he lead me through the rubble
that was the stage being prepared and up to The
Horrors dressing room. In the NME awards earlier this
year Faris received the “Best Dressed” award, whereas
this may be a debateable decision there is no doubt
that his clothing, and of the entire band, is extremely
creative and inspired. Faris was dressed in a black shirt
sleeves rolled up, black skinny jeans and black boots
will buckles all down the side. As I entered the room
and began to prepare myself Faris and Coffin Joe,
dressed in a black turtle neck, black skinny jeans with
an enormous silver buckle, and spotlessly shiny laced
shoes, discussed their previous doings in Brighton’s town
centre whilst studying the selection of 7” vinyl’s Faris had
purchased. “You know, we’ll search through 7” racks in
BAREARTS
21
charity shops and things like
that” Faris begins to tell me as
we position ourselves around a
tiny aluminium table. “I think if
you’re a music fan the natural
progression is to want to start
your own band and make
your own music, or at least
it should be. I think maybe
what separates us from a lot
of people is the desire to look
deep into what’s immediately
available” he continues.
It is evident that The Horrors
are serious about the music
they are into, despite the
almost expressionless tone of
Faris’s voice, he knows what
he’s talking about. “When it
comes to actually DJing or
their return to the British Isles. Is touring important to
collecting, you know, vinyl
The Horrors then I hear you scream? “Absolutely!” Faris
is more rewarding because for a start a lot of stuff
answers. “I think that the way any band gets recognition
on vinyl has never been put on to CD. Also it’s just
is to tour constantly, and that’s how we did it really. We
not as easy; it takes a bit more dedication. It’s really
just played every week, multiple times every week over
rewarding to find something you’ve been searching for,
and over again around London and then further a field
more often than not it will take a lot of effort and also I
when we could afford it. That way if people are going to
think it sounds better, but CDs and MP3’s have they’re
want to notice you then they will. That’s the key I think.”
purpose. You can’t take a record player with you on
Touring isn’t the only way that the band has gained
a plane. But I’m not against it I just know what I prefer,
recognition. Faris himself, aged 20, has become known
what I have more fun with” Faris elucidated. The Horrors
for his “Black Hand”, which involves him dipping his
have been accused time and time again
entire hand in black paint prior to stepping on stage.
that they’re image is the primary concern
However this is something he does not do anymore
of the band, not the music they produce.
and for good reason. Faris explains; “When stuff like
Their appearance is extremely important to
that becomes predictable then you stop doing it. I just
them yes, this was made clear as behind
did it for a few shows on the NME tour because it’s just
me Coffin Joe sorted his way through a bag
sort of a way of involving the crowd really. You know,
of materials he had bought only a couple of
when everyone comes off away from the stage after
hours earlier in preparation for the gig that
the show and they’re all covered in paint and sweat,
night. However, The Horrors music has just as
it’s sort of this feeling of unity. It sounds stupid but it does
much thought and meaning behind it as
really help to unite your fan base, and it makes people
any other band or artist. “I think that for music
really feel they’re part of something. Obviously I wasn’t
lovers our music appeals because we make
going to keep doing it because then it would just turn
music for the love of it ourselves. We never
in to a f***ing gimmick”. Some advice for any of you
really considered what anyone else was
who were thinking of dipping your hands into paint on a
doing as a band; it’s purely what we wanted
regular basis there then.
to do. We weren’t really ever aware of what
If you are lucky enough to be going to one of the
anyone else was trying to achieve and we
Reading or Leeds festivals or even Summer Sonic in
weren’t really bothered by it. We’re not really trying to
Japan this summer, then you will have the chance to
sound like anyone else” Faris tells.
see The Horrors live.
Since the beginning of the year The Horrors have
“Strange House”, The Horror’s debut album is out now
toured the country continuously as well as the U.S, and
are currently dominating Europe. After this they embark on Loog Records.
upon yet another tour across America with BRMC,
with possible plans set for an additional U.K tour upon Jake South

Aqualung
ULU, London
12/04/07
I have spent many years being an Aqualung fan, but now
it seems I have progressed into the somewhat frowned
upon area, called an obsessive. This only happened
after seeing them live at ULU over the Easter holidays.
It was after their first single strange and beautiful that
I became hooked. I have both their current albums,
and awaiting the third (on order from HMV), its out in
America but alas not in the UK as of yet. It has to be
said I was holding this against them. Had they sold
out? Did they not care about us anymore? I turned up
at the gig, ready to see an arrogant Matt Hales, but
to my utter delight he was lovely. He apologised for
everything that had gone on, and so I forgave him
all his sins. Seeing all the songs you’ve learnt word for
word from when you were in high school sung live, may
create a slight bias when reviewing this gig. However,
my boyfriend agreed, they are pretty darn special. They
created a mixture of old and new songs that seemed
to fit together giving us a taste of the new stuff, but not
forgetting where they came from. For those of you who
are new to the sound of aqualung, it is predominantly
a guy called Matt Hales, he writes songs, that actually
mean something to him. For every track he is able to
say what inspired him to write it and why. His brother
Ben who plays the guitar and bass supports him. It
makes each song special, and something everyone
can relate to. Seeing them at ULU was quite simply,
intense. I could practically touch him I was so close,
and the base so loud it literally made all of me vibrate.
There was no pushing, no shoving just admiration.
5/5 | Rachael Fitz-Patrick
 FEATURES
barefacts
22 30 April - 25 May 2007

Where your money goes (Part 1)

IN LEGAL TERMS, a test case, is a court case which will
decide a particular interpretation of a law which has
never yet been tried in court, and the judgement of any
test case is used in court in all subsequent court cases
where that law is concerned. Bristol 1933 was setting
for one such test case which has revolutionised the
music and entertainment industry ever since, and has
affected nearly everyone in the country in one way or
another even though you have probably never heard
of it.
There is a coffee shop in Bristol, which has been a family
business since the 19th Century, and in the thirties it was
run by a Mr Stephen Carwadine. One day, Stephen hit
upon the idea of introducing background music into his
coffee shop, and so went down to his local record store
and bought some records to play to his customers. The
customers were happy, the owner of the record shop
less so. The two arguments went like this; “I’ve bought
the record from you, I can do what I like with it” Vs
“You’ve only bought the record, the music on it doesn’t
belong to you and you are not allowed to perform it in
public”. This is an argument which is still raging today,
except you can substitute record with music download,
because although you buy a computer file with the
music you want, you are restricted as to what you can
do with it. In 1933 the idea of records, was as new as
the MP3 is today.
The argument was eventually taken up by The
Gramophone Company (predecessor to EMI) who
had released the 1931 recording ‘Overture, The Black
Domino’, written by the French composer Auber and
played by the London Symphony Orchestra. The
Gramophone Company were represented in court by
Stafford Cripps, who was to become MP for Bristol South
East, and later Chancellor of the Exchequer. The test
was to be the Copyright Act of 1911 which was the first
act to give protection to records and other means of
recording sound.
The Gramophone Company & Stafford Cripps won,
which then set in law the idea that the owners of
sound recordings had the protection against the
unauthorised broadcast of their records in public. In
order to protect their interests a company was formed,
PPL (Phonographic Performance Limited) to administer
the rights of sound recordings for record companies,
although began by EMI & Decca, gradually more and
more companies joined the party. By the late thirties,
PPL represented nearly forty record companies, and
was issuing licenses to play sound recordings in public
up and down the country, from Cinemas, Leisure Parks,
Town Halls and or course Coffee Shops.
As rock and roll spread through the world and the
78rpm became the 45rpm, the government decided
that it was no longer fair for the record companies to be
able to charge whatever they liked for playing records
in public, and so the Performing Right Tribunal was
created, to enable those buying licenses to challenge
the cost of the license being charged. This was first
used by a jukebox supplier who felt he was being
overcharged by PPL, his claim was thrown out, and so
as the jukebox became more popular, so increased
the revenue to PPL.
The way the public consumed music was now getting
ever more diverse, in the 60s the radio landscape
changed with the introduction of Radio 1 and round
the country dance halls and night clubs were springing
up – all of whom needed to pay for what they used.
TV stations, adverts, films, shops, everywhere you heard
background music, it all needs to be paid for, and skip
forward to today, and last years revenues collected
by PPL exceeded £80 million. There was however, one
group of music users who never paid – Student Unions.
The copyright acts had always exempted charities from
being liable for PPL collection and so for years Student
Unions (who are regarded as such) never had pay PPL
so much as a bean for using music in discos, bars, and
anywhere else. PPL themselves could not understand
how organisations who operated commercially, and
used their members music commercially (indeed
made money out of playing them very load) got away
with not paying; so in 1993 a long and sometimes
bitter argument began between the two groups. PPLs
opening salvo was to issue blanket invoices to all
student unions, and at this point the NUS stepped in on
behalf of the Unions, and told everyone not to pay as
they were exempt. The invoices were then followed up
with final demands, and then court summons, naturally
most Unions were quite nervous, but the NUS advice
was clear – don’t pay. Out of all the Unions threatened
with legal action (including Surrey) the eventual bout
was between Manchester University Union (represented
by NUS) and PPL. The case was to take many years,
but the eventual outcome was decided. Where the
proceeds of any use of PPL controlled music was to go
back into the Union, no fees were to be paid, but if the
event was run by a private, third party promoter, then
they would have to cough up. So far, so good, Student
Unions could continue to not pay PPL for their use of
recorded music.
PPL, were not, however going to take this lying down,
and then began an intensive period of lobbying to
remove the exemption in the copyright act for charities,
something which they half managed in 1999 with
an amendment to the exemption clause. The new
exemption said that the person playing the music could
not be doing so for personal gain, so a DJ who is paid,
or even a member or bar staff who is paid and turns
on some background music behind the bar. The new
exemption was open to many different interpretations,
and indeed was an interpretation provided by the NUS
legal team which differed (not surprisingly) a great deal
from the opinion of PPL.
NUS & PPL finally managed to agree a way forward a
few years ago, and whilst the details of the agreement
remain confidential the deal is pretty much accepted
as being good for Unions and good for PPL. Surrey pays
a number of thousand pounds every year to PPL, for the
use of recorded music.
Where, though does all the money go? Well a
proportion goes to those who performed on the sound
recording (the musicians) and some goes to the people
who made the sound recording (the record company)
an altogether separate licensing body PRS collects on
behalf of those who wrote the music.
Whatever side of the fence you sit on regarding music
licensing, one thing is for sure it has created the modern
music industry, and the modern music performer.
Everywhere you hear music, be it shop, bar, radio or TV
– somebody somewhere is receiving a royalty for it, and
all from a coffee shop in Bristol 1933.
Alan Roy

Win A Piggy!
Send your Top Tips
for making your money last to:
sally.williams@surrey.ac.uk
Student Advice & Information Service
Wey Flat 2, Surrey Court, ext 9261

The Top Ten tips will each receive a

Golden Piggy
runners up will also receive pens
barefacts COMMERCIAL BREAK
30 April - 25 May 2007 23

24
The Conservative Society
BY RUPERT MEDDINGS
CONSERVATIVE SOCIETY CHAIRPERSON
THIS HAS PROVED to be a ground-breaking year for the
Conservative Society. Currently enjoying our seventh year in
existence, we were fortunate enough to be visited by Cabinet
members and MPs alike since September, and next academic
year can be even better, especially if more people get involved!
We have held a host of exciting events throughout the year,
and aim to attract more high profile speakers next year!
Here’s a brief run-down of what we’ve been up to since
September last year;
• Following the overwhelming success of Fresher’s Fayre,
when we were helped on the stall by Guildford MP Anne
Milton and many prominent local councilors, we were visited
by Shadow Secretary of State for the Environment, Food and
Rural Affairs Peter Ainsworth (also the MP for East Surrey)
Liberal Democrat Society
USSU Best Political Society 2005-06
BY KYLE CHAMBERLAIN
LIBERAL DEMOCRAT SOCIETY PRESIDENT
THIS HAS BEEN both an exciting as well as a busy year for the
Lib Dem Soc. Our year started out with a visit from Lembit
Opik MP, famously known for his appearances on ‘’Have I Got
News For You’’ and his relationship with cheeky girl Gabriella.
He joined students in a panel debate on whether smoking
should be banned in private and public places. This popular
topic was well attended by students and non-students alike
and gave students the opportunity to take part in discussing
what is a very current news item.
Then of course came the regional conference held in
Effingham. Our two student delegates managed to successfully
introduce and pass a motion which slammed a potential policy
of giving extra funding to candidates because of their gender
or ethnicity, and insisted that we should not be engaging in
positive discrimination, but to judge candidates on their merit
instead of an unchangeable attribute.
SOCIETIES
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
in November, during a crucial week for green issues, to give Chairman Rupert Meddings at li56rm@surrey.ac.uk, or
a talk and answer questions on Conservative Environmental visit our websites on www.society.conservative.com or
policy, on the Union Societies page.
• In February, we finally hosted the eagerly anticipated ‘Have
I Got Boris For You’ event, where Shadow Higher Education We meet every Tuesady, at 7:30pm in Roots.
Minister Boris Johnson came to Chancellor’s for a talk and
Q&A session with students, after going on a tour of campus.
• And another Shadow Cabinet member, this time Shadow
Education Secretary David Willetts MP popped down for
coffee and a chat with local council candidates and students
in Chancellor’s at the beginning of March.
As well as providing a social environment for like-minded
people, the Conservative Society also aims to give students
an opportunity to get involved in local politics, and ensure
they are given all the support and encouragement necessary.
For the May 2007 council elections, we have three members
of the Society standing as candidates! If any of the above
makes you think you’d like to get involved, at any level, email
In February we held our ‘Cash For Beerages’ pub crawl, This year has seen us go from strength to strength with our
which was subject to the well known ‘international drinking society now having a 5 strong committee, Weekly meetings,
laws’. However instead of taking a shot or drink as a penalty more involvement from non-students and more involvement
pub crawlers had to donate £1 to the ‘Save The Royal Surrey’ of the society in the local community.
campaign. Thanks mostly to Chris and his colourful language
we were able to raise over £30 for this important cause. bs53@surrey.ac.uk | http://www.unis-libdems.co.uk
The main event of spring 2007 saw us travelling to Bristol
university for the LDYS conference. This was a long weekend
of debating, voting, speeches as well as large quantities of
pizza and alcohol, needless to say delivering leaflets at 8am
whilst very hung-over is not fun!
Our society was even successful in arranging a visit from
Party Leader Sir Ming Campbell who came down to discuss
crime and safety issue and sport facilities within Guildford,
particularly highlighting the need for adequate CCTV in
areas such as the Tesco underpass. We have taken an active
role in helping Lib Dems get elected in the Borough Council
elections in May, involving more students in the democratic
process than ever before.
Get involved. Get online.
www.ussu.co.uk
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
The Christian Union
END OF YEAR REVIEW
CHRISTIAN UNION
THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY’S Christian Union more
fondly known by its members as the CU is a diverse group
of Christians from all walks of life. The CU is made up of a
wide variety of Christian denominations including Anglicans,
Baptists, Pentecostals, Evangelicals as well as many other
members from church movements such as Assemblies of
God and New Frontiers International.
The Christian Unions wide membership of 150 odd faithful
members is united with the sole mission of supporting
Christians on Campus as well as spreading the Good News of
the Gospel of Christ. The CU meets every week for its main
meeting in Lecture theatre B for a time of modern Christian
Worship as well as a variety of social events including the
famous Thursday night drinks in Roots and the dedicated
Christian Union Football team as well as weekly film nights.
The CU is more famously known by its non members on
campus for its hot tea, coffee and hot chocolate which the
CU gives out free of charge weekly outside the Union. Most
students will have come into contact with the CU, late at
night, boozed up, outside in the freezing cold by the Union
Electronics and Amateur Radio Society
END OF YEAR REVIEW
EARS SOCIETY
2006/07 HAS BEEN a great year for the Society, with lots
of new members and activities going on. New projects are
kicking off and plans are being made for next year already.
Recently, the Society ran an amateur radio licensing course,
to get students started with their first Foundation licence.
We had 22 attendees and over the course of two Sundays,
they learnt about the hobby ready for their exam. They also
had hands on experience in practical sessions, learning how
to use the radios, setting them up and making contacts “on
the air”.
We had 16 of the group successfully pass the exam (in the
picture), some of whom have now received their callsigns and
are ready to operate for themselves.
Demand immediately started for the next level up,
Intermediate and so another course has begun, spanning three
weeks. This time, the course contains more electronics and
SOCIETIES
25
where they would have been offered a free hot drink with a members are passionate about the message of Christ and
famous digestive to help them keep warm. The faithful CU how they believe he has transformed their lives. The CU
team meet most Friday nights through till the early hours of have a deep desire to help people within the University and
the morning to spread the message of love and truth through ultimately see others come to know the love they believe
the simple act of giving free drinks away. they have found through Jesus Christ. The Christian Union is
As well as the CUs extensive missions programme, the a buzzing, lively community full of committed students where
CU runs an International Café in conjunction with Friends anyone, Christian or not, can find true faith, friendship and
International which works in supporting International Students support all year round. For more information on CU events
throughout Campus. The Christian Union members are truly check out their website at www.surreycu.co.uk
passionate about their faith and are a great bunch of guys.This
year the CU have held several successful events including an
extensive Freshers program and the very successful Events
Week. The social aspect of the CU is thriving with regular
planned outings locally as well as several trips away including
two house party retreats.
In addition to some of these activities the Christian Union
runs a Christianity Explored Course and helps support a
wide pastoral care initiative through the Christians in Sport
programme and the Guildford Churches network as well
as running major national awareness projects such as Stop
the Traffic, promoting Christian justice issues around the
University.
So why do they do all of this? In short, the CU and its
so when the exam is taken on Sunday 25th March, we hope the upcoming months. There’s a real variety of areas in the
that the group (mostly consisting of electronic engineers) Society and there’s something for everybody.
have little trouble! EARS has its meetings on Wednesdays at 1pm in 01AC03.
We still have demand for both Foundation and Intermediate
courses, so if you’re interested in amateur radio, please come Our web site is http://www.ussu.co.uk/ears and our e-
along to a meeting or look at our web site for more details. mail is ears@surrey.ac.uk
We hope to be running courses again at the start of the next
academic year.
With our new members, we’re currently working on a
few projects, such as an on-going Earth-Moon-Earth signal
bouncing project to reflect signals off the Moon and making
contact with somewhere else on the Earth. As well as radio,
this is a multi-discipline project, as it requires good mechanical
knowledge for building the array of antennas and the rotators
and also electronics knowledge for the controlling system.
Also starting is a packet radio project, to provide a local node
with e-mail, TCP/IP and BBS type services.
We will be attending Kempton Radio Rally in April and
also hope to be participating in a number of contests in

26
END OF YEAR REVIEW
The Law Society
LAW SOCIETY
Well… here it is, the end of the year and the Law Society has
achieved more than ever before!!
This is just an overview to all those who participated and
assisted in making all the events so memorable and giving us
something to be proud of.
Mooting
Many non-law students often ask what mooting is.The answer
is a little complicated
In a moot, two pairs of ‘advocates’ argue a fictitious legal appeal
case in front of a ‘judge’. Whilst making your submissions to
the court you will regularly be interrupted by the judge with
questions or challenges to those submissions. To win, you do
not necessarily have to win the legal case, but must make the
best presentation of your legal arguments.
Mooting is essential to improve advocacy and public speaking
skills, which are essential skills for a lawyer.
Surrey v The Rest
Anyone will tell you how important mooting is for a budding
lawyer.Yet little did we know at the beginning of the year of the
supreme natural talent Surrey students have at mooting. This
point was hit home when all our external mooter’s whizzed
through their competitions, coming up against highly skilled
students from other universities they used raw determination
and nerve in tackling what seemed to be the impossible. As a
society we hoped for the best, and we certainly wanted Law
at Surrey to gain a good name through its representatives.This
was achieved under the direction of the most able Mooting
Mistress Claire Boucher and her team.
Surrey entered into Oxford University Press Mooting
Competition with Ashley Bowes and Kristy Wright who
made it to the second round; Essex Court Chambers English
Speaking Mooting Competition with Phillip Blatchly and
Mark Gilmartin who made it to the second round ; Inner
Temple Mooting Day with Claire Boucher and Sarah Maslen
who made it all the way to the quarter finals and lost to
Cambridge; Weekly Law Reports Mooting Competition with
Michelle Morgan and Mishal Dattani who also made it all the
SOCIETIES
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30 April - 25 May 2007
way to the quarter finals and lost to Cambridge. This proves
that we are now a force to be reckoned with!
Surrey v Surrey
The final of this year’s Internal Mooting Competition took
place on Friday the 9th March at the Guildhall in Guildford.
The legendary Judge Bull acted as the main judge, alongside a
barrister from Guildford Chambers and our very own Head
of Law Rosalind Malcolm. Guildford Chambers sponsored the
event and therefore a number of barristers from Guildford
Chambers were present. This was a particularly prestigious
event and the quality of mooting was very high. Laura
Williamson and Sophie Grew (2nd Years) v John Stanton
and Michael Cullen (3rd Years) were the 2 pairs that had to Law Ball
endure the nerves and questions on the night. Many students
attended and it was genuinely difficult to decide who would Take a magical venue in a beautiful location; add in marvelous
take the all important title of ‘winner’! The boys did finally guests, elegance and a little pinch of flare. What do you
win though! Congratulations go to both excellent teams. A get? Our rather prestigious Annual Law Ball! This was the
shield with the names of the winning team inscribed upon jewel in the crown of this year’s Law Society social calendar.
it was provided by the committee in honor of the event, Amidst the swishing of ladies in fabulous ball gowns, dashing
along with an individual trophy for a life long memory of their gentlemen in tuxedos and music from a great live band, an
achievement. evening of pure enjoyment took place.
Congratulations go to all participants and to all who
contributed their time and effort. Special thanks go to the Christmas Party
staff of the law department for all their help and support.
Claire has specifically asked us to thank all the students that This year the Law Society held its first ever Christmas
supported her in the organisation especially those who acted Party in the HRB. It was a storming success with over 100
as clerk of the court. people attending, and with games such as “wrap the human
in wrapping paper”, it is not surprising! We hope that this has
Client Interviewing set a precedent for future years.
Another essential skill required for most professions including
those in law, is the ability to deal with clients face to face and
extract information and facts from them effectively.
We hold a selection process internally to select three teams
who represent Surrey, competing against The College of Law
and Kingston University.This year the competition was fierce
and we are extremely pleased with the performance our
teams put in.
Aisleen Ward and Holly Ball- 3rd
Phil Blatchly and Jenna Stevens- 4th
Emily Heinrich and Callum Macleod- 5th
This meant that we gave the best overall performance.
barefacts SPORT
30 April - 25 May 2007 27

Vertically Impossible!
BY ALFIE SIMMONS
BLOOD, SWEAT AND BEER was the order of the day
on Saturday 21st of May as the legendary University of
Surrey Mountaineering Club took up an almighty challenge
to collectively climb 26 miles in 12 hours, all for sweet
charity. Thanks to monumental efforts from the 50 USMC
climbers, the target was reached in under 8 hours
Originally conceived as a seemingly impossible joke,
the ‘Vertical Marathon’ came to fruition at Craggy Island
indoor climbing centre, Guildford. Many thousands of man
hours were dedicated to getting the event running, with
the key organisers sacrificing sleep, meals and degrees to
ensure its success. Organisers hope the event will raise
£15,000 in sponsorship for their two elected charities,
Mountain Rescue and Cardiac Risk in the Young (CRY).
The event also serves as a massive boost to the RAG
week total for money raised by university associated
groups this year.
The event was graced with Dignitaries, including the
Mayor of Guildford, Councillor Angela Gunning and the
MP for Guildford, Anne Milton. Anne Milton thanked the
USMC for organising such a great event and commented it
was a, “fantastic, innovative way of raising money for two
deserving charities.” Councillor Angela Gunning added
that it was lovely to see everyone getting so involved as
she watched the climbers head towards their target.
Special commendation must go to the marvellous folk
from St Johns who were always ready to nurse the faint
and feeble, the key organisers, Weeman, James “Side-
Show-Bob” Williamson and Dr Chenoweth, and also the
’One Mile Men’ - those fine gents who single handily
climbed over a mile each during the day. To
give you some perspective on quite what
climbing this distance looks like, it is the
equivalent of climbing well over four times
the height of the empire state building.
King Kong would be proud. These valiant
men are: Nick “Nick” Warren; Jonathan
“Danger” Chenoweth; Richard “Not for
That” Price”; Alfie “ “ Simmons and
Andre “Man of ” Steele.
If you would like to show your support
for the two brilliant charities as well as VerticalMarathon.co.uk or hunt down any member of the
your friends and colleagues from the USMC and empty you pockets.
biggest club on campus, who shed so
much sweat for their cause, then you www.verticalmarathon.co.uk
can donate online on the website, www.

BY STEVE JOLLY
A Review Emerges
University of Surrey Sub-Aqua
Club Annual Holiday
Malta 2007
AFTER YEARS OF taking the long road north to Western
Scotland for its annual holiday, the sub-aqua club decided that a
change was due.After much deliberation the tiny Mediterranean
Island of Malta was chosen. On the first Sunday of the Easter
break and after much faffing with weight and baggage limits
(over 1.4 ton’s between us!) the USSAC crew descended upon
Gatwick Airport. Then in much comfort flew off for a week of
nothing but diving, sunshine and dare I say it, drinking.
On arrival we were met by a very paranoid accommodation
owner who had agreed to put the 32 of us up for the week.
He was only letting out 11 of his 15 rooms to a bunch of
British students; I mean what is there to be paranoid about??!
The next day the real fun was to begin with the start of the
actual diving. We all piled into the Dive Centre’s trucks and
which is about 50m in length.At about 30m below the surface
the visibility was supreme, much better then what we are
used to in the UK.We all came out quite excited after a great
dive and about the prospect of more of the same during the
rest of the week.
We returned to the accommodation that evening to be
met by the owner. Who then accused us of taking 30 out
of our 32 pillows, opening them up, removing some of the
stuffing and then stitching them back up with our portable
sewing machine. Yes we were gob smacked too! After much
deliberation we finally persuaded him that it wasn’t us and
agreed that Martians must have landed just too, ‘modify’ these
30 pillows.
Tuesday saw a boat ride out to the tiny Island of Comino
and dive within some spectacular caves. The very same that
were used in the filming of the James Bond film Thunderball.
On the Wednesday we all jumped on the ferry and headed
to the island of Gozo to dive the infamous, ‘Blue Hole’. This
unusual natural feature is just a giant hole full of water which
at 20m below the surface has a tunnel leading out into the
Octopus and creepy Conga eels. Thursday took us to an old
Oil Tanker named the, ‘Um El Faroud’. At about 150-200m
long this wreck is humongous and really needs 10 or so
dives to see it all in full! Imagine the whole of the AP building
underwater and you will get a sense for the size of this ship.
The final day’s diving took us to Popeye’s village. This 1970’s
film set (from the film of the same name) turned theme park
has some cracking caves below its fantasy looking foundations.
Certainly a great dive to finish the week off (even if my torch
did decide to blow up while in practically total darkness 15m
down!!).
The final weekend was spent soaking up the gorgeous
weather and local amenities (aka the hundred’s of bars
and pubs!). A great week was had by all, including the two
organisers who managed to get a free bottle of wine each
from the rather guilty feeling accommodation owner. See, us
student’s aren’t that bad after all!
The sub-aqua club run’s diving courses for all ability’s, and
has a great social side too. To get involved and for more info
including all the picture’s from the week go to

www.ussac.co.uk
Baywatch style Jeeps and headed to the northern tip of the Mediterranean. Otherwise known as the inland sea this dive
island. Here we dived from a large tug boat named the Rozi included some spectacular wild life including the ink spitting

28
Surrey Equestrian Society
BY ALEX MORRISON
CHAIRLADY
THE UNIVERSITY OF SURREY
Equestrian Club is a very well
established club that has been running
for a number of years, with increasing
numbers of members, and increasing
levels of success. This year we fielded
two teams to participate in the BUSA
leagues and have hosted two interclub
fun competitions, with gymkhana games
catering for all abilities of recreational
riders. We’re based at Old Park Stables
just outside Farnham where they have a
wide range of horses enabling everyone
to join in. It is run by Carl Belson who
rides competitively himself in both show
jumping and eventing.
The 2nd team for 2006/7 comprised
of Fran Heskett, Jo Bass, Sara Goree and
SandraTimmermanns, and they competed
in the Trophy League which was a fantastic experience for
all of them. They rode against other 2nd teams from Kent,
Imperial and Royal Holloway which proved a tough draw with
Kent going on to win at the BUSA National Championships
last week.
Three old hands and one new addition made up the 1st
team for this year – Harry Talbot, Alex Morrison, Fiona
Stevenson and Jen Raymond. Another difficult draw against
From London to Paris with Dave
BY DAVID JOYSON
“CAN I CYCLE from London to Paris for charity?” I asked
myself when looking at a fundraising advert in The Times.
It’s the sort of thing that I’d never do, but why not? There
SPORT
Southampton (the National Champions from 2006), Kent and
Brighton resulted in us finishing 3rd in the League. However
Alex, the club chairlady, qualified for the Regionals individually
and went on to qualify for the Nationals for the first time
in her student riding career. These were held from 11th-
13th April at Arena UK in Grantham, Lincolnshire with 42
students all vying for the top accolade. The format for the
finals differs from the league rounds in that it is a knockout
competition with the best rider on each horse progressing
would obviously be a lot of training to do, and the thought
of trying to raise the required £1,000 sponsorship from my
poor student colleagues was not an appealing one. However,
the more I thought about it, the more compelled I became to
do it. So I decided to bite the bullet and sign up, committing
myself by paying the £99 registration fee.
The charity concerned is Action Medical
Research, and although I had never heard of
them, I was quite surprised by their track
record; the development of Britain’s first polio
vaccine, pioneering hip replacement surgery,
and the use of ultrasound were some of their
major projects.
Their current campaign, Touching Tiny Lives,
highlights the urgent need for more research to
help sick and vulnerable babies. Action Medical
Research hopes to raise an additional £3
million over the next three years to help find
answers to premature births, pre-eclampsia
and other serious conditions which threaten
babies and expectant mothers.
The quest to save the tiny babies kicks off on
25th July.There will be about 500 people taking
part in the challenge, split into three different
routes. The route that I will be taking is almost
300 miles long. It starts at Kingston-upon-
Thames, heads south through the Surrey and
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
through the stages. She reached the 3rd
(out of 4) rounds in both the dressage and
the show jumping resulting in 6th and 3rd
placings and 2nd overall with both scores
combined. To show how close it was, there
were only 2 points separating her from the
eventual winner. There were International
selectors at the Nationals talent spotting
competitors to be invited to GB Team
trials. Alex was one of seven competitors
at the Nationals to be invited to the next
GB Trial to be held on the 11th May this
year. As well as the serious side, there was
a definite big social aspect to the Nationals.
For starters, a Gala Ball is organised each
year which the majority of GB riders
attend. This year was brilliant fun, with Ben
particularly enjoying the ride to and from
the hotel in a red London bus! A quiz night
was organised the following with 10 pints
to the winning team. This happened to be
Southampton who we are good friends
with and therefore gained a share in the drink! It is definitely
who you know!
This culminates a successful year overall with the club still
running lessons each week and their AGM on the 2nd May at
6pm. A repeat of the extremely popular “Pub Eventing” is also
in the pipeline so watch this space…
ussu.equestrian@surrey.ac.uk
Sussex countryside and continues across the South Downs
to the port of Newhaven.After catching a ferry to Dieppe, we
will head inland along the Saane Valley, crossing the river Seine
to Lisieux. The final leg of the journey is the eastbound route
through Vernon to Paris. The ride will last four days, covering
an average of 70 miles per day. Adding to the challenge, will
be my notorious red hair and pale skin, which under the
unbearable July sun, will no doubt contribute to my suffering.
To prepare myself for the big event, I have started a rigorous
training programme to increase the number of miles that I
cycle every day. I have also embarked on an intense sponsorship
campaign, which involves a stint on BBC Southern Counties
Radio Breakfast Show, an article in the Surrey Advertiser, and
a group on Facebook, masterfully entitled Helping Dave Cycle
from London to Paris.
So if you can, please help save the tiny tots by sponsoring
me online at www.action.org.uk/~davidj Whatever you can
or can’t afford is fine. What I find most unique about the
Touching Tiny Lives campaign, is that one day this valuable
research could improve the lives of you, your friends and
your family.
To find out more about Action Medical Research and their
current projects, please visit:
www.action.org.uk
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
Ultimate Frisbee
ULTIMATE REVIEW BY LOU
THIS YEAR HAS been a delicious year for the Surrey
Scorpions Ultimate Frisbee Club. The squad has gone from
Surf ’s Up
A YEAR IN THE SURF CLUB
BY ANDRE
THIS YEAR, the Surf Club had an amazing comeback! After
being on standby for 2 years the club is more active than it has
ever been. So far we’ve undertaken 5 surf trips to Newquay,
including participation in the BUSA Surfing Championships,
with over 400 students from across the country competing.
All the trips involve a nail biting 5 hour road trip (in the UniS
minibus!) and some fantastic nights out in Newquay. We’ve
found some amazing spots around Newquay and already
got the knack for finding the best waves for the available
conditions.
A typical surf trip commences at 1pm (on a Friday) from
Natwest bank on campus followed by a fun 5 hour trip to
Newquay. On arrival, we park outside the “Home Surf Lodge”
SPORT
strength to strength both on and off the
pitch. In October, two beginner’s teams
travelled down to Southampton to take part
in the fresher’s tournament ‘Skunks Mini’,
both teams competed well but perhaps
more importantly had a good time at the
party drinking the cheap but deadly “Jesticle”
cocktails. We fielded two teams for one of
our most important tournaments; Indoor
Regionals. The first team played like demons
and came 6th qualifying for National Division
2. The 2nd team also competed well and
won the Plate for their efforts. At Nationals
the 1st team achieved their best result ever
coming 7th.
This meant that the Surrey Scorpions
are now the 23rd best University team in
the country which is massive achievement
considering the team didn’t qualify last year.
The year has seen the creation of the ‘Sirens’ women’s team
who have been training every Sunday to take part in the South
East Women’s Indoor Regionals. The tournament was a two
where we usually stay. We take our stuff to our rooms and
head straight to Sailors or any pub that still serves food by
the time we arrive. Once our bellies are full we stay out for
drinks and go back to the lodge with the excitement of the
next day’s surf ahead. 8am wake up call; not the friendliest hour
to wake up, but a day’s surf certainly beats a day’s lectures so
everyone makes it and goes for breakfast served at the lodge.
Meanwhile someone (normally Stu, club president) will go
out scouting the best place to surf for the day. Breakfast done,
we walk to the “Sunset Surf Shop” to pick up any boards
and wetsuits that we might need. When Stu’s back we head
down to the day’s chosen beach where the day’s spent surfing
with occasional breaks to chat, enjoy the sunshine and munch
a few Cornish pasties. When everyone is knackered we go
back to the lodge to get clean before heading out to the pub.
Saturday night being the best night out we tend to party ‘til
29
day competition in Sussex. It saw the Siren ladies competing
against experienced university teams and coming out of it
looking hot! They held their seeding and grew as one big
happy team that looks to only improve on this encouraging
result.
Mixed Indoor Regionals was a first for the Surrey Scorpions
this year. The experience showed that the Scorpions have
good potential for mixed teams in the future. The Scorpions
travelled up to London in March to take part in Outdoor
Regionals. The whole team played really hard, this was
reflected in the result (7th) which was another Scorpion
best.
As the Scorpions are all about the socials its only fitting to
mention some of the highlights, which include seeing Pretty
Dick dressed as a windmill for pub golf, retrieving a wayward
disc from Jewson’s, the massive Jesticle cocktails at Skunks
and many, many drunken outings. Now that’s what I’m talking
about!! Here’s to another great Ultimate year, hope to see
some new faces come next year.
bf.sport@gmail.com
the wee hours’. Sunday sees a later wake up call of 10AM
(alcohol permitting), where we then set off to another beach
for morning/early afternoon surf. Surfing all done we head
back to Sunset Surf to return boards and wetsuits, collect our
bags from the lodge and pack up the minibus. Grab something
to eat from town and head back to Guildford for a chilled 5
hour minibus trip.
Though primarily a surf club, we have also been going
wakeboarding! We’ve gone to Princes Lake in Ashford, Liquid
Leisure in Datchett, and most recently JB Waterski (next to
Thorpe Park) where for £5 (after the £10 membership) you
get 2 hours on cable. With over 40 members from this year
alone, I am sure you will hear a lot more from us!
You don’t need to have a Surf Board...
You don’t need to have a Wet Suit...
You don’t need to have ever surfed before!
Check our website at www.getmewet.co.uk. If you want
to join the surf club, please email Anna at: me35as@surrey.
ac.uk and she will let you know when we are organizing new
trips!! Or find us at the Fresher’s Fayre!
 SPORT
barefacts
30 30 April - 25 May 2007

barefacts Sport - Bringing the Heat!

MATT CHEETHAM was one of the few sports I was unfamiliar with
SPORTS EDITOR before seeing the Heat, and I have now even been
seen watching NBA games Sunday nights, after the
IT HAS BEEN the days football.
task of barefacts Sport With the Heat’s
to communicate season pretty much
to students the over, important Play
happenings of the Off games remain
Guildford Heat on at neutral venues.
Basketball team this Next season begins
year. This has been when our new
the first few months year begins, around
of our connection, and September time. You
what a season it has can buy tickets and a
been for the Guildford free bus ride to the
Heat; BBL Championship winners, BBL Cup titles, and games from the Union shop, and throughout the
the team are currently progressing in the final Play year we will be running competitions giving out t-
Off games of the season. The coach, Paul James has shirts and tickets and having some interviews with
been named coach of the year, and players Brian Dux, the players in Barefacts. If you are reading this in
and Mike Martin have both made the All-Star Team of September, get a group of mates, and go buy some Celebrating in the changing rooms, coach and players
the Year. Overall there has been a huge amount of tickets, you can always hang round the bar afterwards Pictures taken from:
success for the Guildford Heat. and have a few drinks with the players, it’s a guaranteed www.guildfordheat.com
Having been down to watch a few games I have night to remember…
to encourage students to experience this amazing For more information on the Guildford Heat, and
atmosphere so near, yet so untouched by most of
us. The home games are fantastic entertainment,
also how to watch them in their last few games of this
season, check out:
Competition Winner!
Congratulations to Warwick Hiley for his phrase, he
especially the night matches. Around 1000 spectators
collects an official Guildford Heat T-Shirt; Look out for more
regularly cheer the Heat on, coming to Surrey this is www.guildfordheat.com opportunities to win Guildford Heat Goodies next year.
something students shouldn’t miss out on. Basketball

Surrey Tae Kwon Do Club Review

This Year
IT HAS BEEN a great year for the Surrey Tae Kwon Do
club, which has once again been taught by Master Nam, a
6th Dan Korean Master who has now been training for
over 30 years and running the Surrey club for the past 9
years! At the end of the first semester many students took
their grading and were promoted to a higher belt. The club
members achieved 2 new yellow belts (Rob Wilkins and
Martin Poskočil), 4 green belts (Charlie Connelly, Hannah
Crosbie, Anne Vuorenpää and Ada Wong), a blue belt (Ani
Alia), a new black belt (Club Organiser - Simon Phipps) and
a 2nd Dan black belt (Talal Kursany). During the summer,
the club plans to attend several competitions.
The Club have also had many socials throughout the
year, namely the annual Christmas meal at Old Orleans,
celebrating members’ birthdays, informal drinks and many
attended Fetish Night this semester.
What do we do in classes?
Classes incorporate a variety of activities, ranging from kick
practice with targets and pads, light and one-step sparing,
free sparing, step-work, self-defence and Poomse (Set
Patterns). The classes last two hours and are generally quite
physically strenuous.
Club News
Unfortunately for the club, many current members are
graduating this year and therefore will not be returning to
the club, so we are encouraging more beginners to come
along and give it a go, or even if you have trained in other
martial arts; come and expand your knowledge and skills!
Hopefully by next semester we will have a larger room to
practice in too!
Good luck to all those who are grading in May and a sad
goodbye to those who will not be returning to join us.

Captain Mike Martin recieves yet another trophy
after a fantastic season for the Heat!
When do we train?
We train regularly 3 times a week in the taproom and dance
studio at the Sports Centre (Monday 8pm-10pm,Wednesday
6pm-8pm and Friday afternoons). Master Nam takes the
main classes and members organise informal sessions on
Fridays, where the black belts teach and let people try
some things that are a bit more challenging for them (and
to push their training a bit harder!). Training with different
instructors gives a greater range of class style, thus allowing
members to benefit from a large knowledge and skill base.
barefacts
30 April - 25 May 2007
BY MATT CHEETHAM
Football Talk
SPORTS EDITOR
COMING TO THE END end of another year at Surrey, and
certainly a cracking finish is in order in this year’s football;
nothing is for certain. One of the greatest league seasons
ever? I’m writing this with five games left. Title, Manchester
United or Chelsea? Will it be third or fourth for Arsenal and
Liverpool? A UEFA Cup spot is still anyone’s, even Blackburn
in the lower half of the table reckon they have a shout. Then
relegation is hardly decided as well. My prediction in January
was bold, Watford, Charlton and Sheffield United, I had faith
in the Hammers, but increasingly it is looking like it was false
hope, we shall have to wait and see. Last season by this stage
the title was sorted, as was most of the rest of the table.
There was a battle for fourth and fifth between Tottenham
and Arsenal, and relegation was still interesting around this
stage, but Pompey secured safety with a couple of games left.
Certainly this season has been top quality, full of excitement, I
haven’t even mentioned the Champion’s League etc...
Response
Well since the last edition where AFC Wimbledon’s
predicament was highlighted, the Dons have now thankfully
had their eighteen point ban reduced to three, apparently the
Dons took one of the biggest petitions ever to Parliament,
well done F.A.!! I have had some emails emphasising the job
Roy Keane has done with Sunderland, and how great it will be
to see him in the Premiership, and some mixed ideas about
goal-line technology. I still remain adamant we should not
use it, leave the beautiful game alone, some people agreed,
but there are still many that want the game moved forward,
those people indicate that it is a success in rugby and cricket.
I see this debate carrying on next year.
Promo
I want to thank everyone that has kept this column
interactive. I recieve many emails each fortnight with new
ideas and points of view, and there have been many great
thoughts and theories posted from different students. I hope
to stay on as Sports Editor next year, and carry on my sports
show with Barny Leavers on GU2, if you’re reading this in the
new semester, get some emails and ideas coming in for a new
edition that will surely be out soon, shall sign out with a few
final thoughts this year…
Team of the Year,Taylor, Arteta?
Following the (joke) PFA Team of the Year just recently
announced, here, according to official stats, is the ACTUAL
team of the year:
Hahnemann (Reading),Finnan (Liverpool),Taylor (Portsmouth),
Carvalho (Chelsea), Ferdinand (Manchester Utd), Barry
(Aston Villa), Lampard (Chelsea), Arteta (Everton), Ronaldo
(Manchester Utd), Rooney (Manchester Utd), Drogba
(Chelsea), subs would be; James (Portsmouth), Lescott
(Everton), Fabregas (Arsenal), Johnson (Everton), Berbatov
(Tottenham)…
The PFA team of the year has just been announced and
predictably most of these players were nt be mentioned. Yes
the game is not all about stats, but some of these players
certainly need more recognition, especially Hahnemann,
SPORT
Taylor, Barry and Arteta, bar Hahnemann, hardly any
international caps between them. Check it out, type
in Actim Stats into a search engine. It is interesting
viewing seeing how low down some supposed
top players are on the lists; they look good, but
don’t produce what counts; goals, assists, blocks,
clearances.
Age of the Team Game?
Recently, when sitting down watching the F.A. Cup
semi-finals with a mate, we attempted to pick a
current world XI. After naming the obvious stand
outs of the season; Manchester United’s Cristiano
Ronaldo, Chelsea’s Didier Drogba, and A.C.
Milan’s Kaka, (interestingly three players from the
Champions League semi-finals) we struggled to fill
the rest of the positions. After much debate, we
eventually came to the conclusion that we are in an
era of the team game. The time of the individual has
gone, ever deeper tactics and team play are crucial.
Taking any players out of the Spanish league for
our XI was especially difficult. The top teams have
hardly been consistent, in Europe as well as on the domestic
front. Many have questioned Ronaldinho and Messi’s form
at Barcelona (despite Messi’s recent wonder goal - you have
to see it) and have also described other high priced players
such as Deco and Eto’o as sometimes world-beaters, but
frustratingly inconsistent. Another under-achieving season
for Real Madrid has also seen many of their top players such
as Robinho and Cannavaro questioned over form. Their era
of the Galactico has died.
Who are the top players at the moment? Who will the big
clubs try and buy (will have bought) this summer? In recent
years there would be endless lists of world class players, many
countries having three or four stand out players. Now players
such as Torres and Villa are mentioned, but they aren’t even
proven in Europe or at International level, and the players
that are, are pretty much all (bar the three mentioned) not
in consistent form; Henry, Ronaldinho, Lampard, Shevchenko,
Eto’o, Messi, Ballack, Adriano and even Rooney have not
produced consistently this season. I believe in some cases
these players have just not been on form, but for some it is
because the impact of individuals is waning. These players
are now involved far more in team play, tactics, running off
the ball, passing, taking up positions to stretch play, not just
scoring and grabbing all the headlines.
A problem England currently have is the fact that the
team is not a team, merely a collection of individuals. The
time between squad meet-ups means a team bond is hard
to maintain, and it is debateable whether McLaren actually
has the tactics needed in the international arena. If you
compare that to Chelsea, they are on the extreme edge of
this argument. Their team is purely made out of individual
match-winners, and this season they have managed a lot of
late victories as one of these players have stepped up at the
last minute. Not always fun to watch. However there is a
huge team bond at Chelsea, John Terry motivates and brings
the group together, and in Jose Mourinho, they have one of the
alleged top tacticians in the game. England cannot compete,
and cannot attain a mere portion of the success Chelsea have
unless the best team is picked, one that gels.
31
Teams with so many new players struggle initially because
team play is so important now; Liverpool took time to adjust
early season with more purchases bought last summer. Vidic
and Evra looked dodgy buys when they were bought in
January for Manchester United, but what an impact they have
had this season, once they acclimatised to Ferguson’s tactics,
and Manchester United’s team play.
This is possibly the case in world team sport as well now.
After Australia’s cricket team were beaten by England in
the 2005 Ashes series the supposed XI best cricketers in
the world were sent to Australia for a conquest that saw
these visitors ranked as huge favourites to crush the Aussies.
However they were annihilated by the superior Australian
team effort. Similarly in rugby, the Welsh side in the 2007 Six
Nations finished bottom, yet with undoubtedly more stand
out individuals much superior to Scotland and Italy. The Scots
and especially Italians were more together, tightly bonded,
and their team play saw them victorious.
Back to football, interestingly enough, not many Italian
players - World Cup winners - would make our World XI,
again suggesting the team effort of the Italians surpassed those
teams with the individuals in this World Cup. The match-fixing
scandals brought the team together. Teams have to begin to
develop tactics and team play, for it seems individual brilliance
and match winners are less important, for now.
Anyway, send me some emails of your opinions next year at
Uni, and here’s that World XI we came up with, what do you
think? Who would you choose?
World XI?
Buffon /Casillas - Zambrotta Terry Lucio (couldn’t single out
another fullback) – Kaka Essien Gerrard Ronaldo – Drogba
(again, unsure of a striker). Kanoute leads the Spanish charts,
but surely not, Villa and Torres are not tested on the world
stage, Italians have great defenders but are weak on strikers
at the minute, choice is yours…Emile Heskey anyone?
Fancy getting involved in the Sports section next year?
bf.sport@gmail.com
 SPORT
barefacts
32 30 April - 25 May 2007

Blood, Sweat and Beers, Rugby 06/07 Review

BY SPADE (CLUB CAPTAIN), PEASLE (2ND XV CAPTAIN), OLD
TART (WOMEN’S XV CAPTAIN)
Men’s 1st team. South Eastern
Conference - Men’s 2A
HAVING BEEN PROMOMTED two seasons in a row after
two former successful promotional campaigns, it was known
well in advance that this season would be a test of our skill
and dedication to the cause. The season started with a win
against St Georges, a team that two years ago was the only
team we were incapable of beating, but, I’m sad to say, the
trend didn’t continue for the remainder of the league fixtures.
By the end of the season we finished with 4 wins, 9 losses
and 1 draw, but survived the league for another crack at
it next season. Three games were lost involving score lines
with differences of no greater than 7 points, had these games
turned to our advantage it would have made a dramatic
change to our position in the table.
In other areas of the sport, we took part in a 10s tournament
and so far one 7s tournament, both of which we finished
runners up.
The season was rounded off with the Old Boys game,
played in torrential rain in a mud bath up at Stoke Park and,
I’m very proud to say, that the students kept their winning
streak going to get their third win in three years and keep the
much coveted trophy
Men’s 2nd team South Eastern
Conference - Men’s 4A
It has been a season of crunching hits, strong forward’s play
and agonizing last minute defeats. However, every man who
has represented the 2nd XV this year did it for the love of
the game and I need to thank every one of you who willingly
pulled on the jersey for the cause. In truth, the season could
have been better results wise but there were still some
massive performances from the team. Notable highlights
included bringing Portsmouth (who had beaten their
last three oppositions by 60 points plus) to their knees
before injury reduced us to just 13 men, as well as
the last game of the season where we played eventual
champions Royal Holloway in a game played with as
much passion as I have seen from 15 guys representing
our university in four years. Of the guys who started
the season as ‘2s’ players, quite a few of them have
moved up to play 1st XV rugby on merit and this shows
the quality of the 2nd XV. So bring on the next season,
I know the team will continue to play with guts, passion
and determination.
Women’s team
Picture courtesy of Naveed Barakzai/Maxal Photography
If you had asked anyone back in September or October
how many players the University of Surrey women’s rugby
team had they would have probably said about 10, even if
they were from the men’s team!! The truth is that this year
the team has had a whopping 17 players. This may not sound
like much if you come from a big club like football, but as
the average size of the ladies rugby team at Surrey has been
about 12 or 13 for the past four years I have studied here, this
number is amazing!!
Unfortunately, however, unlike in past years when we have
had to cancel many offered matches due to lack of numbers,
this year with a full team ready and raring to go we were
only able to find one game to play. This game saw 12 of us
including Egghead with a broken collarbone, journey on
down to Portsmouth to play their second team. The game
unfortunately saw us concede 27 points to our 21 scored but
it was a moral victory as we had managed to get a team out
and played with both spirit and skill. Next year though due to
the influx of players we will have regular weekly games.
Finally, as Easter drew round, a rugby season wouldn’t be
complete without a tour.This season 21 guys and 9 girls were
off to Calella in Spain; along with about 2500 other students
Surrey take down another one... don’t mess!!
from 50 other universities. It was the perfect combination
of rugby, consumption and sun, ish, where ‘the beatings
continued until morale improved’; so much so that there was
no morals left. The tour brought together all Surrey rugby
teams where our party of 30 made more of an impact in
the Costa Brava than some Universities with over 100 tour
goers. This will greatly enhance the weekly socials that take
place every Wednesday night after the games.
The year also saw a big change in the organisational
structure of the team with the men’s and women’s teams
joining together to ensure both survived the new rules
regarding twenty members on a team. This resulted in one
joint committee and three individual teams.
Playing for Surrey University has a lot to do with heart and
how much effort the team puts in. Our new head coach, Mike
Andress, who joined us late on in the season, and women’s
coach Tim Eaton are very impressed by both the efforts in
training and how hard and committed we like to play (both in
rugby and socials). Wednesday afternoons, as anyone who has
donned the yellow and blue jerseys will tell you, just wouldn’t
be the same without the rugby, the socials and the people.
Also check out our website;
www.ussu.co.uk/rugby

Angelic Cheering
Championships, where they gained first place in the University The Angels are currently training hard for this year’s
Co-ed division they have continued to build on their victory. Nationals in Brighton and have a stunt group competing
During this years Fresher’s fare the Angels recruited many on 7th April at the University competition. They hope to
new members (as we hope to do so at the next fare) and continue their success and work hard to maintain their
have been training them to compete at competitions ever National Champion status!!!
since. They now have a squad of 25+. Since September the

A polite notice
dance squad have entered two competitions
bringing back third and fourth place trophies.
They are also entering a dance into this
year’s National Championships. The stunt
group has placed fifth at a recent regional
competition. Furthermore, the Angels
entered their first ever partner student pair
to a competition and placed eighth!
They have also been fundraising hard to
Once you’re done reading this issue of barefacts, please recycle it.
Cheerleading REVIEW of the year!! raise money for the new member’s uniforms
You can use the recyling bins in your halls, or the
BY AMY REEVE and entry fees for competitions. They have
ones located in most departments.Thank you!
so far done a fundraising car wash, bake sale,

barefacts. be heard.
IT HAS BEEN another fantastic year for the Surrey Angels brownie nights and TV commercials with
cheerleaders! After their success in July 2006 at the National many more to come!