'if'

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may
be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull
and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive
persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for
always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your
achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career,
however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for
high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially,
do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all
aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things
of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of
fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of

the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be
here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is
unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and
whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep
peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.

Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

cherie carter-scott's rules of life
(Carter Scott references this quotation:) "Life is a succession of lessons which must be
lived to be understood." (Helen Keller)

Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so
accept it. What counts is what's inside.

Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience,
which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to
you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and
relevance of your own life'.

Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom
is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always
go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement -
of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an
emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the
ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that
'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.

Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What
manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they
will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and
your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the
acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be
acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what
you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a
denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is
required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.

Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be
learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process
of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own
weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to,
because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.

Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener
than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and
enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of
what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead
to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.

Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about
another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others
as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have
an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative
experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by
doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that
you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and
resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for
yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things -
bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to
do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit,
which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.

Rule Nine - Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost
feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to
feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.

Rule Ten - You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these
capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our
spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence.
The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all.
When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit.
Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other
than those you impose on yourself.

Do not stand at my grave and weep..

I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft star-shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry..
I am not there. I did not die.