The Line Between Discipline 

and Child Abuse  

Stephanie Barrientos  

Passage 1  

Teacher -Rivera 

December 2016 

 
 Child abuse is an issue recognized worldwide and can be categorized in various ways.

The different ways that it can be categorized consist of neglect, physical abuse, and emotional

abuse. Physical abuse is defined as the harm of a child’s physical being. Neglect is not caring

about a child's well being. Examples of negligence towards a child is not providing food for the

them, not giving them food for several days, and not giving them clothes or caring about their

health. Leaving a child alone at in a public space or just at home for a long period of time is also

neglect. A child's emotions can be abused in many ways. Parents can put them down with what

they say to them, making them feel like they don't deserve to be in this world, and making them

feel unworthy. Parents in the United States through discipline may be actually abusing their child

which has negative effects on the child that may include depression, anxiety, aggression, low

academic performance and PTSD. There lies a fine disciplinary line between parents teaching

children to obey them and parents who take it too far and cause harm to them. Physical and

emotional child abuse caused through disciplining children can have negative effects on children.

Countries where this is seen include the United States, China, and India. Google defines

discipline as “ The practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior, using

punishment to correct disobedience.” Discipline is a parent trying to teach their children what is

right from wrong, what they should and should not do and attempt to teach them a lesson without

having to hit their child in order for them to learn causing them feel unworthy. There are

different ways that you can discipline a child. In other countries, there are ways of disciplining a

child and it might be done or seen differently here in the United States. For example, putting a

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child in timeout or confiscating something they are always using such as a cell phone, television,

etc is a way that some people discipline their child on the less harsh side of the scale.

Discipline and child abuse often are mistaken for each other. For a parent to be

disciplining a child without harming them can be hard for some because of the way they are

as a parent. Being a parent is not that easy so it can be difficult or hard to tell when you are

abusing the child or discipling them when they have done wrong. Some parents may

aggressively hit or attack their child as discipline and do not recognize in reality that this is

child abuse. Disciplining your child in a formal way should be in a positive way that will

actually teach the child. The goal of disciplining your child is to get them to understand what

should and should not be done, for them to understand why the things that they do are bad. In

the article it states that “ A child who is punished with spanking, shouts, and threats may

learn how to avoid these punishments simply by not misbehaving in that particular way

within sight of the person who punishes.” If you physically discipline your child, it is

guaranteed that most of the parents take advantage of that and end up abusing their kids.

Getting irritated at the fact that your child is not listening to what you are trying to tell them

may cause the parent to get really mad and end up hitting the child in a way that they should

not. Melinda Smith, a non-profit organization connected to Harvard Medical School, states

that “ Some caregivers never learned the skills necessary for good parenting. Teen parents,

for example, might have unrealistic expectations about how to care for babies and what small

children need. “ Smith also state “ Parents who were themselves victims of child abuse, may

only know how to raise their children the way they were raised. In such cases, parenting

classes, therapy, and caregiver support groups are great resources for learning better

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parenting skills. ” Spanking is a form of discipline many parents use on their children and has

become a well-known way to discipline your child because it scares the child and usually

gets them to stop behaving a certain way or doing something the parent does not approve of

because it is painful ("Child Abuse and Neglect.")​. ​There are a lot of different ways that you

can discipline a child without it being considered child abuse. Parents might think that

spanking a children is not really a good way to give discipline because it causes pain. Other

parents may think that sometimes it is better for them to do something that will actually help

their kids understand that they need to start behaving in a better manner.

Child abuse has lasting consequences for the child. In reality, trying to figure out the

line between child abuse and discipline can be a hard thing to do. Some parents might think

that beating their child is going to make them stop misbehaving, but surely what they do not

understand is that abusing their child will later on in the future affect their lives. They also

don't understand that the kid might not stop misbehaving just because they yelled at them so

it's hard for a parent to figure out how to properly discipline the children. When a child is

abused or “being disciplined” physically, the child usually grows into the mentality that

hitting someone will make them stop doing something wrong and have a higher chance of

becoming an abuser when they are a parent than a child who is disciplined much differently

when no physical actions are involved. In an article, by Daniel Goleman he states that “

Studies also now indicate that about one-third of people who are abused in childhood will

become abusers themselves. This is lower percentage than many experts had expected, but

obviously poses a major social challenge. The research also confirms that abuse in childhood

increases the likelihood in adulthood of problems ranging from depression alcoholism to

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sexual maladjustment and multiple personality. ” Not only will it effect them in the long run

when they become parents but also in their teenage years they may be violent with the other

students in their school. Growing into the adults that the children will once be, if the child

was abused as a kid it is most that when that child has its own children, they will end up

abusing them as well. If the child grows up to be abused by their parents, they might have a

mindset of thinking that it's not something bad to do.

Emotional abuse can be considered one of the ways of traumatizing a child other than

physical abuse.​ ​Hurtful words towards children at a young age hurts them mentally and

affects the way they will grow up to raise their own child. In their adulthood when they later

on grow up and have their own children they might have the mentality that telling your kids

hurtful stuff is the right thing to do and that it is not doing any damage to the children's mind.

Not only does it affect them as a person it affects the way that they think, the way that they

develop things and the way that they will be when they grow up. Children that are

emotionally abused aren't seen as normal people. In this article it states that “ Emotionally,

they are unable to feel and express a full range of emotions appropriately, and to control their

emotions. This is so because their emotional development has been badly compromised, and

cannot feel things like normal people should. ” (“ Effects of emotional child abuse” ) Adding

on to how children cannot feel the same things that a normal person can, the moment that the

parent is telling the child hurtful words their self-esteem is getting lower and lower each day.

Throughout their lives when they grow up they will always take everything that a person tells

them in a bad way because that's how they grew up, they grew up with such hurtful words

from their own parent that they will become very sensitive. It is a cycle that continues and

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sometimes can soon lead to physical abuse. Yelling disrespectful words at a child is a way

some parents discipline their child. The parent might think that the things that they're telling

their child is really not affecting them. Emotional abuse has a lot of side effects to it such as

the children having low self-esteem, low self-worth, depression, withdrawals, inability to

trust, and feeling trapped or alone. In the article by Steven Stosny, it states that “ In many

ways emotional abuse is more psychologically harmful than physical abuse. Emotional abuse

seems more personal than physical abuse, more about you as a person, more about your

spirit, it makes love hurt. ”

Discipline is different in many countries and cultures and can be defined in many

ways.​ ​For example, if an American were to go to China and document about child abuse over

there they might find it very harsh and end up speaking up about it not knowing that people

in China don’t see it as bad as they do. In China they have their own policy of Child abuse

and here in the United States people can think that their way of disciplining their child is

really child abuse. In China it is known that if a parent has two kids they have to give one up

and that might be considered Child abuse here in the United States. Catherine Tang of the

University of Hong Kong, states that the base rate of physical abuse was 526 per 1,000

children for minor violence and 461 per 1,000 children for severe violence. Minor violence

was most likely directed at children aged 3-6. Also it states that comparing families from the

U.S, Chinese families showed a lower rate of minor violence but they had a higher rate of

severe violence towards children. Child abuse in China doesn't get much attention but it

should because it's such a big thing. In China the boys are most likely not going to get abused

because they carry on the family name and they are always seen as more powerful than the

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girls. D.P Qiao and Y.C Chan stated in their article “ There are at present no national

statistics on child abuse in China, but some survey data will throw light on the problem. In

2001, a national survey of 3543 married people conducted by the China Law Society, showed

that 71.9% of the interviewees reported to have had the experience of being beaten by their

parents during their childhood.” It also states that there are children that are being abused to

death. The U.S has a different way of dealing with child abuse, China has its own laws.

Also, child abuse in India is some what a big issue.​ ​If an American were to go to

India they would see a major difference because India does not have a law that protects

children against abuse in their homes. If a parent and its children were to move to the United

States they would have to change the way that they discipline their child. Their way of

disciplining their children would be considered child abuse here in the United States. In India

Child abuse is really common for girls in the article that I read it stated that some girls wish

they were boys because of the way that they are treated, the boys in the household are treated

way better than the girls are. Here it says “ With regard to child labour 50.2% of children

work all seven days of the week. 81.16% of the girl child labourers work in a domestic

households. 48.4% of girls wished they were boys. ” Further on more information about

child abuse in India was told in this article it also stated that “ Child abuse in India is often

hidden phenomenon especially when it happens in the home or by family members. Children

in India are often highly dependent on their parents.” If a child is getting abused in their

homes their is no way that they can get away from it because as the article stated that even

after they move out or have their own house they will still have to have interactions with

their parents. (“Child Protection And Child Rights”)

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 Throughout every child’s life, there is a time when the child does something the

parent does not like. ​ ​If the children are being disciplined by the parent and the bad actions

that they are doing continue or they might not understand and cannot learn what discipline is,

the parents might build up anger inside from that and they will end up taking it out on their

kids. This will lead to physical abuse and depression to the child because of the abuse

whether it be physically or emotionally. A child at a very young age can have different

thoughts about discipline, they way that they think is a whole different way than the parents

do. Keep in mind that a child's mentality is different from an adults. The parents thinking is a

higher state than the kids, whenever the parents are trying to discipline a child they

sometimes don't think about this and the bad things that they will face. For example, if you're

trying to discipline a 5 year old kid they wouldn't really think about why the parent is telling

them to do a certain thing, they would just do it because they were told to do so or the kid

would just ignore what the parent said and that's when physical abuse comes in. Many

parents think that smacking their kid will help. In some cases it does, but parents can and will

end up getting irritated with the kid because he/she wasn't listening. they might think that

hitting their kid even more that it will help.

Some statistics in America about spanking a child for discipline are very interesting,

the survey that they had did asked parents what they thought about spanking their children. In

the survey that they made they asked the father and the mother what they thought about it

and the percent of the mothers were such a low percentage than the father, in reality people

would have thought that the mothers would be the ones that would have said it was fine to

spank their children. According to PJ Parenting it states that “ Corporal punishment involves

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hitting someone physically, and spanking is a specific type used to eliminate undesirable

behavior in children. While 76 percent of men say it is acceptable, only 65 percent of women

agree. A majority of both genders approve of it, but the popularity of the practice breaks

down along ethnic, religious, and regional lines.” The thoughts about spanking a child are

different in each state. For example, in the article by PJ Parenting it also describes how “

Only 30 percent of Asians approve of spanking, while a whopping 82 percent of African-

Americans do so. The numbers for caucasians, Native Americans, and Hispanics follow the

national average, at 71 percent, 75 percent, and 74 percent respectively. Spanking is most

popular in the South, where 78 percent supports it. It is least popular in the Northeast, where

63 percent do so.” In reality hitting your kid, in a way that would be considered child abuse

will not help the child learn what is right from wrong, the kid will still think that what they

did was right. For some people, smacking their child works. A smack on the hand is helpful,

but sometimes the children ignore it and keep on doing what they were doing. It constantly

leads to something way worse than it should've been.

Throughout a child’s life, if they are being abused by a parent or guardian, it will

affect them in many ways. Common side effects that child abuse has are depression, anxiety,

dissociation, flashbacks, academic problems, and some kids can grow up to be addicted to

drugs. All of these side effects that the children will have throughout their lives will affect

them in so many ways. They may not be able to grow up and do the things that un abused

children do because they will be diagnosed with one of those side effects. Also they may

have to go to therapy so they can get over what they went through. The children will also

have to deal with some of these side effects for the rest of their lives, that's what the parents

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or the abusive guardian don't think about while they're physically, emotionally abusing the

child.

Depression is one of the most common things that children go through, they start

having suicidal thoughts and depression hits them hard. There are many levels of depression,

depression can affect a child’s life in a very negative way which would cause them to do bad

things. This is when emotional abuse ties in, the parent might be telling them hurtful words

such as “ You don't deserve to be here ” “ You're worthless and nobody loves you. ” While a

parent is emotionally abusing their kid, the kid has a lot of thoughts in their head. They might

sit in their room telling themselves that they should just kill themselves. Depression can also

affect a child's academic process, due to tiredness and absences which make their grades go

down. (“ Depression in Children and Adolescence”) Ellen McGrath stated in her article, “

Recovering from depression as an adult requires some detective work in ferreting out the

nature of the exploration. The intergenerational transmission of abuse is invariably associated

with the symptoms of depression. Abuse brings with it the vulnerability to depression. ” A lot

of thoughts can be going on in a children's head especially if their ages are between 10-15.

Depression from abuse makes them think that they really don't belong here. The way that the

brain develops as the child is growing up is very slow and it takes time to process and

understand things especially if they're very young. This article states that “ There are really

just a handful of processes that a developing brain employs in order to make sense of the

world.” (“ Child and Brain: The stages of development”) As a 15 year old growing up to

being an adult themselves, they have a very strong mindset already and they think about

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everything that they can possibly be doing wrong, their thoughts in their heads might be

killing them.

Flashbacks of trauma are another side effect of child abuse. When the kids grow into

adults they end up being traumatized and for some it causes them to have flashbacks.

Children who suffer from physical abuse get traumatized really bad, sometimes they can't

even be around things that remind them of the suffer that they went through when they were

kids. Parents might think that abusing a kid isn't really affecting them in any way but, it

affects them in so many ways that no one will ever understand. If a kid is not getting

attention from their parents it can cause them to have some depression because once in

awhile a child needs attention from the parents especially if they're young or little babies.

Coping with flashbacks as you get older is a very hard thing to do. This article says “

Flashbacks are recollections from the past. They may be pictures, sounds, smells, feelings, or

the lack of them. Sometimes there is no actual visual or auditory memory. You may feel

panicky, or trapped, you may feel powerless without knowing why. These experiences can

also happen in dreams. As a child you had to protect yourself from the emotional and

physical horrors of abuse. In order to survive, that children may remain locked inside, unable

to express the feelings and thoughts of that time. It is as though we put that part of us into a

time warp until it comes out of the present.” (“ Coping With Flashbacks”) That can tie into

emotional abuse in several ways, the kid might think that the parents don't want them or a lot

of thoughts can be going through a child's mind while their parents aren't even considering

them.

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 The child abuse survivors or victims wanna feel loved and they can also be diagnosed

with anxiety after or during child abuse.​ ​So what is anxiety? Anxiety is a disorder it's a

feeling of feeling worried, a feeling that you get when something bad is about to happen and

you know that it is. The way that a child can be diagnosed with anxiety during child abuse is

because the kid would get anxious to go home and it would cause the child to have a panic

attack. Their daily thoughts and lives make them have anxiety, they get anxious about every

little thing. Anxiety disorder kinda ties into depression, while being depressed about

something a person may get anxious about everything else. “ Some people, particularly

survivors of abuse, experience such a strong feelings of anxiety that they are unable to cope

with their day-to-day lives. Sometimes for no clear reason they are deeply troubled. We still

have the feeling of fear and distress. (“ Help for Adults Victims of Child Abuse”) Anxiety

takes a big role in Child Abuse it is also another common thing that a child needs to go

through.

This picture is a perfect example of the parent emotionally hurting the child with the

words that he is telling her, if he is telling her hurtful words the little girl is trying to avoid

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hearing those things by covering her ears. It shows how the little girl is attempting at

ignoring what might be her father, family member, or guardian. He clearly has his mouth

open as if he is yelling at her or talking down on her and she's in the corner waiting for it to

end. It can also be an example of the little girl having anxiety and wishing all of that to go

away. We also don't know what happened or if she even did anything wrong but this photo

depicts her trying to ignore what's happening and he's just clearly screaming at her.

Children who are often abused have a higher risk of having academic problems.​ ​It

is difficult for a child to concentrate on school work when they are often thinking about what

is going to happen once they get home. If the child is being abused at young age such as 4-6

years old they really wouldn't know how to handle everything that they are going through at

home so it would be hard for them to do good in school. On the other hand, it is very

different for a child that is 10-15 years old or older because they are aware that they are being

abused by their parents and they would have a lot of thoughts going on in their head causing

them to stress during school and possibly not being able to concentrate at all. This is the

reason why abusing your child in any way can really hurt their lives in any kind of way.

Physically abusing a child causes them to have social problems and have bad classroom

behavior. Some studies show that most children end up dropping out of school before they

even make it to high school. In an article by Kendall-Tackett, it states “ The present study

examines the effect of child neglect, alone and in combination with abuse, on academic

achievement and school disciplinary problems for elementary, junior high, and senior high

student. The sample included 324 neglected children and adolescents, and a matched non

maltreated sample of 420 children and adolescents. The results revealed that neglected

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children did perform more poorly than their non maltreated counterparts, having lower

grades, more suspensions, more disciplinary referrals, and more grade repetitions.” The

student usually goes and tells the teacher first about what they're going through or what they

have been through. Physically abusing a child causes injuries on the brain and that also

causes them to have issues on the brain, which affects their academics.

In some child abuse cases, it comes to show that the parent(s) or guardian was

addicted to drugs which can cause them to be more aggressive or less attentive to a child.

That being said studies show that the parents wouldn't really care about their child's well

being and do the drugs in front of them not knowing that it can affect not only their health

but also their mental health. The article (“ Child abuse and neglect”) it states “ Parents who

are drunk or high are unable to care for their children, make good parenting decisions, and

control often-dangerous impulses. Substance abuse also commonly leads to physical abuse.”

That can be an example of neglect, the parent at that moment of doing the drug is not

thinking about the child's needs. How it is going to affect them later on in the future, their

feelings or if it's going to affect their health in any way. If the mother was addicted to drugs

before or while being pregnant. This article states “ If you use heroin during pregnancy, your

baby may be born addicted to the drug. They may experience a severe, life-threatening

withdrawal syndrome after delivery. ” (“Alcohol, Drugs, and Babies: Do you need to

worry?”) In one of the cases that I had read about it said that throughout a kid's life some

abused kids end up being addicted to drugs themselves. A case that I read was in Iowa, it said

that “ just last week. A 1-year-old boy living in a Newton apartment tested positive for

methamphetamine. The couple charged with caring for the baby were arrested.” (“Child

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abuse cases tied to drugs growing problem in Iowa”) The children see that their parents were

doing it so they adapt to the fact that doing drugs is the way to go because throughout their

lives that's what they grew up watching”. In the article (“ Child abuse and drugs”) it states

that “ The Children of Alcoholics Foundation estimates that in the U.S population, about one

in eight were raised in homes with one alcoholic parent. Studies suggest that as many as 11

percent of newborns are drug-exposed in utero. About six million women of childbearing age

are marijuana users and 10,000 children per year are born to women using opiates. ” As the

children grow older they think that they have no one to turn to and talk about what had

happen to them so they end up doing drugs because in their head they think that it's the best

thing for them to do when in reality it's not, of course the child or teenager wouldn't know

that because they grew up seeing their parents doing drugs. Babies they were already born

addicted to the drug that were taken by the parents.. According to this article it states that “

Approximately 47 States, the District of Columbia. Guam, and the U.S Virgin Islands have

always within their child protection statutes that address the issue of substance abuse by

parents. Two areas of concern are the harm caused by parental drug exposure and the harm

caused to children of any age by exposure to illegal drug activity in their homes or

environment. ” (“Parental drug use as child abuse”)

Being a Child Abuse survivor isn't an easy thing to live with. ​ ​Sometimes the parents

that abuse their child were abused themselves when they were little kids. Parents can also

suffer from depression, anxiety disorders, and bipolar disorder which might cause them to

continuously abuse their child. These parents are not in a state where they can take care of

themselves causing them to be less attentive to their children. They aren't in a mental state

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where they can take care of themselves very much less their child. Parents are quick to to get

angry about the things that their children do and sometimes are unsure on why. The parents

might be under so much stress and it can cause them to have anger towards their kids and

they end up abusing them and might find themselves asking why they did it. It feels like they

do not have any more stress on them and at the moment that they are doing it they think that

it's not a bad thing to do. Many parents believe that abusing their kids is a way to take the

stress away, not knowing or understanding that it severely affects the child.

We have seen child abuse as a worldwide issue but we can help end it as we inform

others on ways to better discipline their children to teach children to be the best they can be.

A right as a parent is to discipline their kid, many children don't want to be disciplined

therefore they take that as abuse. We need to educate our children at an early age in order for

them to grow up learning the difference from abuse and discipline, for them to grow up and

figure out what should and shouldn't be done. Teaching children at a young age what's right

from wrong is a very good thing to do. As stated before child abuse and discipline are both

defined differently, for some, it is hard to figure out the line between discipline and child

abuse. In many other countries such as China and India the definition of child abuse is also

very different than in the United States. It is important for parents to know the difference

because after all, physical and emotional abuse that is caused by disciplining is a way that

will affect the children throughout their lives.

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