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Episode 12 Show Notes

Hey, there guys. It’s Sophilia Lark-Woodbury, and this is episode 12 of the S.O.S. podcast. Today

is Friday, February 9th 2018, and we are ready to jump into some strength-shaping tools that

will help you to generate alternative ways of thinking about pain, struggle, and frustration as it

relates to your role as a mom of a child on the autism spectrum.

 Last week, at the end of episode 10, I mentioned that I would be discussing some

strengths-based approaches to countering the “why” or “why me” questions, and

although I alluded to another discussion topic, I didn’t mention it by name. But, we are

going to start there first and then jump into the strengths-based approach that I want to

share today.

 So, I created a list of 30 ways that I have found to be very effective, cathartic, and

mobilizing in terms of facilitating my health and well-being. I simply call it the “30 ways”

list. I will post it to my website at as the week 10

blog so you can read it for yourself. If you would like a pdf copy of the document, just

send me a quick email through the website, and I will forward it to within 24 hours. I will

also be creating another section on the website to upload pdf documents of my

handouts for you to download, print out, and keep for yourself. So that is coming soon.

But, today, I thought it would be a good idea to go over the “30 ways” list on the

podcast to get you thinking of creative ways you can take to mastermind your health.

 So let’s get going with that list right now.

 Holistic health has been my goal for at least the last five years. However, this list mostly

focuses on the physical aspects of healthy functioning. For a full description of each of

these items, visit and look for the Week 10

blog post, which will include a description of each of these 30 ways plus the re-frame

exercise discussed in this podcast.

1. H20

2. Sleep

3. Nutrition

4. Body detox

5. Move your body

6. Yoga

7. Meditation

8. Play

9. Relaxation

10. Leisure time

11. Spa treatment

12. Bubble bath

13. Laugh

14. Enjoy nature

15. De-clutter your environment

16. Give back/pay it forward

17. Mind dumping

18. Watching the day break

19. Making your own natural health drinks, herbs, and balms

20. Maintaining appropriate body posture

21. Practicing positive self-talk

22. Energizing environments

23. Practice being effective

24. Listening to positive music

25. Making art

26. Read widely

27. Travel

28. Get out of your comfort zone

29. Keep a gratitude journal

30. Detox your home

Strengths-based solution for setting positive life goals despite problems

 Why questions do us no good, unless they lead to realistic and practical solutions.

 What are some “Why” questions that you have used in the past and ones that you may

still use currently?

 “Why me” questions are meaning and purpose seeking questions that are often posed

during times of hardship or adversity.

 When we ask, “why me,” we are not merely seeking a step-by-step accounting of why

something has happened, but we are looking to make meaning out of the event itself.

 The complexity of life is such that many questions cannot be answered.

 The re-frame can help us gain a sense of control and forward mobility despite not

having certain answers to hard life questions. Although it cannot offer answers to “why

me” philosophical questions, reframing can help us focus on personal strengths and

positive goal setting so that we can understand that we must still take responsibility for

our lives.

 What is reframing? It is the development of an alternative way of seeing family patterns

and norms. It adds new information for the person to consider, which can help the

person gain a clearer understanding of what may be going on, thus providing an

opportunity to gain meaning about the situation.

 For example, let’s say you have constantly asked, “Why does my child have to have such

intense sensory issues? I feel like I have to walk on egg shells when it comes to feeding

him certain foods, keeping him shielded from certain noises, etc.”

 One way to alter this narrative with a re-frame is to say something like, “It’s often

anxiety-provoking trying to anticipate how my child’s sensory problems will play out

from one minute to the next, but I have noticed that I am good with selecting calm

down items and communication skills to help prevent prolonged outbursts.

 Reframing the anxiety-response as one that can be resolved rather than one that baffles

you can help you to embrace change and seek ways to improve your own as well as our

child’s life.

 When preparing a re-frame you must ask yourself - What can make this situation

better? What do I want now and in the coming days?

 Focus should be on goals instead of problems.

 Think about your strengths, talents, and abilities. How can you use these to focus on

positive goal setting and not the problem?

 Reframing facilitates the process of taking responsibility and helps us to jettison blame

placing behavior in favor of a more practical solution. It is saying that instead of me

mulling over why something didn’t go my way, I can focus on the things I can control

and still be responsible.

 Well, I hope the tools and information I shared have helped you to think about ways to

mastermind our health and well-being.

 Next week, we are going to delve into some creative-expressive tools that will help you

to distress, relax, and create a simple daily template to help you live more intentionally.

Have a wonderful day!