Sie sind auf Seite 1von 168

1

00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:35,290


Subtitles by explosiveskull

2
00:01:16,199 --> 00:01:18,233
Brad.

3
00:01:18,235 --> 00:01:19,534
- Bye, Daddy.
- Bye, sweetie.

4
00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:21,769
Bye-bye, guys.
I'll pick you up on Monday.

5
00:01:21,771 --> 00:01:23,037
- Brad.
- What's up?

6
00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:24,406
Hey, Brad.

7
00:01:24,408 --> 00:01:26,511
Hey, Brad.
Looking good, buddy.

8
00:01:29,479 --> 00:01:32,281
- Dylan, where's your retainer?
- I left it at Dad's.

9
00:01:32,283 --> 00:01:33,781
Hey, where's your
math workbook?

10
00:01:33,783 --> 00:01:35,817
At Mom's house.

11
00:01:35,819 --> 00:01:38,085
- Where are all your undies?
- I don't know.

12
00:01:38,087 --> 00:01:39,921
How do we got so many undies?

13
00:01:41,491 --> 00:01:42,859
Happy birthday, buddy!
14
00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,027
Brad already got me one.

15
00:01:46,029 --> 00:01:48,965
It was my idea! It was my idea!

16
00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:51,900
Hey, look at that.

17
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:53,167
Guys.

18
00:01:53,169 --> 00:01:54,404
Daddy.

19
00:01:57,875 --> 00:01:58,876
Oh!

20
00:02:00,978 --> 00:02:02,080
Megan, hold up!

21
00:02:03,914 --> 00:02:04,916
Whoa!

22
00:02:06,550 --> 00:02:07,516
Ah!

23
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:08,853
- Are you all right?
- I'm okay.

24
00:02:13,490 --> 00:02:15,827
Right here!
Don't leave without it.

25
00:02:19,729 --> 00:02:22,632
Come on!
Keep it moving!

26
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:24,833
Inside the cones!

27
00:02:24,835 --> 00:02:27,872
Inside the cones like an ice cream.
Let's go!
28
00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:29,505
Braddie!

29
00:02:29,507 --> 00:02:31,207
Here you go, buddy.

30
00:02:31,209 --> 00:02:32,874
Oh. Thanks, Braddie.

31
00:02:32,876 --> 00:02:33,942
- Hot cocoa?
- Yeah.

32
00:02:33,944 --> 00:02:35,709
Nice. Little marshmallows
floating around there

33
00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:37,879
all in formation.
You are the greatest.

34
00:02:37,881 --> 00:02:39,714
I put a little licorice root
in there, too.

35
00:02:39,716 --> 00:02:40,982
- Oh!
- Tell me what you think.

36
00:02:40,984 --> 00:02:42,284
- Hey, guys.
- Daddy!

37
00:02:42,286 --> 00:02:45,821
- Hey. Hi, how was your day?
- Good.

38
00:02:45,823 --> 00:02:47,221
All right,
guys, hop in.

39
00:02:47,223 --> 00:02:49,090
I'll get them ready and I'll
meet you at Tae Kwon Do.

40
00:02:49,092 --> 00:02:51,225
- See you in 30.
- Great. Looking forward to it.

41
00:02:51,227 --> 00:02:52,694
- Bye.
- Bye, Dad.

42
00:02:52,696 --> 00:02:54,563
Oh!

43
00:02:54,565 --> 00:02:55,897
- Dusty.
- Yeah?

44
00:02:55,899 --> 00:02:57,798
Sorry. You made treats for
tonight, right?

45
00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,768
No, I got the gift card. I thought
you were on treats tonight.

46
00:02:59,770 --> 00:03:03,471
No. I did gift card and the treats
for the Halloween Spooktacular.

47
00:03:03,473 --> 00:03:05,006
Okay. Well,
I guess I'll hit the bakery

48
00:03:05,008 --> 00:03:06,475
- on the way to the pageant.
- Bakery?

49
00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:07,775
Unless you don't want me
to go to the bakery.

50
00:03:07,777 --> 00:03:08,876
- No...
- Usually, when you repeat what I said

51
00:03:08,878 --> 00:03:10,112
and you shake your head
up and down,

52
00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:11,412
it really means
you don't want me to do it.

53
00:03:11,414 --> 00:03:12,814
- I'm just thinking...
- What?

54
00:03:12,816 --> 00:03:14,183
Maybe homemade?

55
00:03:14,185 --> 00:03:16,819
Yeah. Hey! Honk at him again,
you better count your teeth!

56
00:03:16,821 --> 00:03:18,686
No problem, Braddie.
Homemade snickerdoodles

57
00:03:18,688 --> 00:03:20,088
coming right up.
One for you, too.

58
00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:22,756
Should we fist bump again
or would it be awkward?

59
00:03:22,758 --> 00:03:25,360
I don't mind a second bump.
All right.

60
00:03:25,362 --> 00:03:26,628
Thanks, buddy.
See you tonight.

61
00:03:26,630 --> 00:03:28,063
Bye, mate. Thanks so
much for the cocoa.

62
00:03:28,065 --> 00:03:29,230
Bye, Daddy.

63
00:03:29,232 --> 00:03:31,636
Sorry.

64
00:03:33,971 --> 00:03:35,337
- Bye.
- Bye.

65
00:03:35,339 --> 00:03:37,041
These look great.
Thank you.

66
00:03:37,708 --> 00:03:38,840
- Look at that.
- Oh...

67
00:03:38,842 --> 00:03:41,809
- Daddy! Karen!
- Hey! Hey, guys.

68
00:03:41,811 --> 00:03:45,047
Wow, look how sexy
Karen looks.

69
00:03:45,049 --> 00:03:46,614
Leather pants and side boob.

70
00:03:46,616 --> 00:03:48,215
That's perfect
for a school function.

71
00:03:48,217 --> 00:03:51,019
- Honey, let's expect good things, okay?
- I know, you're right. Right.

72
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:53,988
- Hey. How's it going?
- Hey.

73
00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:54,991
- Hi.
- Hi.

74
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:57,358
Wow, look at you guys.

75
00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,393
You and Mommy are
so sassy all the time.

76
00:03:59,395 --> 00:04:00,561
- Hi.
- Hi.
77
00:04:00,563 --> 00:04:02,598
Oh, hey. I got your novel.

78
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,934
- It's amazing.
- Oh, I'm glad you like it.

79
00:04:04,936 --> 00:04:07,570
I don't know how you write
such powerful dialogue.

80
00:04:07,572 --> 00:04:09,436
- I mean, it must just come naturally, right?
- Aw.

81
00:04:09,438 --> 00:04:11,307
- Like everything else.
- You're so sweet.

82
00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:12,589
- Are you guys ready?
- Let's go.

83
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,209
I want my shirt
like Adrianna's.

84
00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:17,778
Uh, no. No, no, no, honey.
We're not doing that, okay?

85
00:04:17,780 --> 00:04:20,081
Put that back in.
Look like a nice kid.

86
00:04:22,619 --> 00:04:25,352
<i>Welcome to
the One Horse Open Sing!</i>

87
00:04:25,354 --> 00:04:27,323
<i>Before we get started,
notice we have</i>

88
00:04:27,325 --> 00:04:30,958
<i>several professional video
and still photographers</i>
89
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,427
<i>to cover all your kids
for free.</i>

90
00:04:33,429 --> 00:04:35,631
<i>So you can all put your phones
in your pockets,</i>

91
00:04:35,633 --> 00:04:38,465
<i>relax, and just
be in the moment.</i>

92
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:41,768
<i>You don't care.</i>

93
00:04:41,770 --> 00:04:43,538
<i>♪ Dashing through the snow</i>

94
00:04:43,540 --> 00:04:45,374
<i>♪ In a one-horse open sleigh</i>

95
00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:49,278
<i>♪ O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way, hahaha</i>

96
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:52,948
<i>♪ Bells on bobtail ring
Making spirits bright</i>

97
00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,848
<i>♪ What fun it is
to laugh and sing</i>

98
00:04:54,850 --> 00:04:56,620
<i>♪ A sleighing song tonight ♪</i>

99
00:04:57,621 --> 00:04:59,687
...eat candy Santas
and smashed potatoes

100
00:04:59,689 --> 00:05:01,855
and dressing up my dog
like a reindeer.

101
00:05:01,857 --> 00:05:03,792
That's what
Christmas means to me.

102
00:05:03,794 --> 00:05:05,994
Thank you.

103
00:05:05,996 --> 00:05:08,032
And now we have Megan Mayron.

104
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:13,636
My name is Megan Mayron, and I
like Christmas presents a lot.

105
00:05:15,672 --> 00:05:18,374
But I don't really
like Christmas.

106
00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:20,576
My daddy was at my first
Christmases,

107
00:05:20,578 --> 00:05:23,011
but I don't remember those ones.

108
00:05:23,013 --> 00:05:25,549
Then we had some
with no daddy at all.

109
00:05:26,215 --> 00:05:27,115
Then Brad came,

110
00:05:27,117 --> 00:05:29,884
but he was always
trying way too hard

111
00:05:29,886 --> 00:05:32,621
and making everyone feel
uncomfortable.

112
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,787
Then Daddy came back,

113
00:05:33,789 --> 00:05:35,189
and Brad did a pretend Christmas

114
00:05:35,191 --> 00:05:37,658
to show Daddy that Brad
was better than him.

115
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:41,629
So now we have to go to different
houses to have different Christmases.

116
00:05:41,631 --> 00:05:43,364
Me and my brother wish
we were like other families

117
00:05:43,366 --> 00:05:44,900
and we had normal Christmases.

118
00:05:44,902 --> 00:05:46,869
But we still like
our Christmas presents.

119
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:49,271
I want to be very clear
about that.

120
00:05:49,273 --> 00:05:50,472
Thank you very much.

121
00:05:54,378 --> 00:05:56,677
Enjoy paying for therapy, boys!

122
00:05:56,679 --> 00:05:58,278
You better shut your mouth,
Jerry!

123
00:05:58,280 --> 00:05:59,513
Absolutely, Dusty.

124
00:06:01,318 --> 00:06:04,218
We're messing up our kids,
Brad, and it's on you.

125
00:06:04,220 --> 00:06:05,453
On me? Why is it on me?

126
00:06:05,455 --> 00:06:08,323
Because before you came around
we only had one Christmas.

127
00:06:08,325 --> 00:06:09,792
So it's on you.

128
00:06:09,794 --> 00:06:11,759
Hold on, hold on. We don't
have to circle the wagons

129
00:06:11,761 --> 00:06:14,328
every time one of the kids
expresses a negative emotion.

130
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,431
They're fine.

131
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:16,799
Kids that get up in front of
whole schools

132
00:06:16,801 --> 00:06:18,766
and say they don't like
Christmas aren't fine, Sara.

133
00:06:18,768 --> 00:06:21,203
Well, she said she didn't like
having two Christmases.

134
00:06:21,205 --> 00:06:22,237
Which is on you.

135
00:06:22,239 --> 00:06:25,439
So what if we all spend
a Christmas together?

136
00:06:25,441 --> 00:06:27,508
A Together Christmas.
That's good.

137
00:06:27,510 --> 00:06:29,011
Now you fixed it. See, that...

138
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,545
Now it's off of you.

139
00:06:30,547 --> 00:06:32,179
Let's invite Adrianna's dad,
too.
140
00:06:32,181 --> 00:06:33,213
- What?
- Yes.

141
00:06:33,215 --> 00:06:34,415
- Are you being serious right now? No.
- Yeah.

142
00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:36,350
Put that hand down.

143
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:38,720
I've been nothing but nice to that guy,
and he treats me like I abducted his kid.

144
00:06:38,722 --> 00:06:39,955
I'm not doing that.

145
00:06:39,957 --> 00:06:41,556
Why are you messing up
the mood now, all right?

146
00:06:41,558 --> 00:06:43,924
We wanna go tell the kids my great
idea about the Together Christmas.

147
00:06:43,926 --> 00:06:45,292
Wait, how did it become
your idea?

148
00:06:45,294 --> 00:06:48,295
It was your idea, but I named
it Together Christmas.

149
00:06:48,297 --> 00:06:50,634
<i>People of Bikini Bottom...</i>

150
00:06:51,100 --> 00:06:53,100
Hey, guys?

151
00:06:53,102 --> 00:06:55,739
Guys. Listen up,
I got a surprise.

152
00:06:56,239 --> 00:06:57,374
Hello?
153
00:07:00,576 --> 00:07:02,910
- Guys. We got a big surprise!
- A surprise?

154
00:07:02,912 --> 00:07:04,578
- Another pony?
- A trampoline?

155
00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:05,681
You leaving?

156
00:07:05,683 --> 00:07:06,881
Not quite, okay?

157
00:07:06,883 --> 00:07:08,182
But, no, we got something better
than that, okay?

158
00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:09,785
So much better.
It's gonna be great.

159
00:07:09,787 --> 00:07:11,451
Guys, this year, no more back
and forth at Christmas.

160
00:07:11,453 --> 00:07:13,086
- We're not doing the back and forth.
- Nope. I just said that.

161
00:07:13,088 --> 00:07:14,756
- No more back and forth at Christmas.
- No back and forth.

162
00:07:14,758 --> 00:07:17,859
This year, we're gonna spend one
Christmas all together, all of us!

163
00:07:17,861 --> 00:07:19,294
- Yay!
- All of us. A Together Christmas!

164
00:07:19,296 --> 00:07:21,228
- A Together Christmas!
- Can you be quiet?
165
00:07:21,230 --> 00:07:22,963
A Together Christmas
like a normal family!

166
00:07:22,965 --> 00:07:24,232
Yay!

167
00:07:24,234 --> 00:07:25,235
I'll get it.

168
00:07:26,169 --> 00:07:27,669
Hello?

169
00:07:27,671 --> 00:07:29,206
Grandpa Kurt?

170
00:07:31,207 --> 00:07:33,008
Daddy, Grandpa Kurt wants
to talk to you.

171
00:07:33,010 --> 00:07:34,775
No, no, no. Dusty,
I'll just tell him...

172
00:07:34,777 --> 00:07:37,244
No. It's okay, Sara.

173
00:07:37,246 --> 00:07:38,749
Thank you.

174
00:07:39,549 --> 00:07:40,785
Thanks, buddy.

175
00:07:43,753 --> 00:07:45,222
What, Dad?

176
00:07:46,289 --> 00:07:47,855
Yeah, long time.

177
00:07:47,857 --> 00:07:49,725
No, I'm fine. Tomorrow?

178
00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:51,092
- Tomorrow.
- No.
179
00:07:51,094 --> 00:07:53,427
I could probably pick you up,
I guess, but...

180
00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:56,463
- Hey! Psst! Guess what? My folks are coming tomorrow.
- I don't care.

181
00:07:56,465 --> 00:07:58,833
- We can go together.
- You shut up.

182
00:07:58,835 --> 00:08:02,306
Dad, do you want to just text...
Hello?

183
00:08:07,744 --> 00:08:09,276
Dusty, listen to me,

184
00:08:09,278 --> 00:08:11,879
I think you're approaching this
with way too much negative energy.

185
00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:15,383
Brad, you don't know what you're
talking about, so shut your fat hole!

186
00:08:15,385 --> 00:08:17,117
Dusty.

187
00:08:17,119 --> 00:08:19,687
I'm sorry, Braddie.
I'm sorry.

188
00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,323
You see what he does to me?

189
00:08:21,325 --> 00:08:23,158
I mean, he's not even here yet, and
he's already ruining Christmas.

190
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,761
- Okay, okay, relax. Relax.
- I can't!

191
00:08:25,763 --> 00:08:28,997
Look, your father hasn't met
the new evolved Dusty.

192
00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:31,732
You're a progressive,
sensitive, child-first parent.

193
00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:34,368
That's exactly the stuff he's gonna
make fun of us for. You'll see.

194
00:08:34,370 --> 00:08:37,137
He's gonna scoff at everything
we do. He's a scoffer, Brad.

195
00:08:37,139 --> 00:08:39,040
Pepe, you have a grown son,
right?

196
00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:40,342
<i>Si.</i>

197
00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:42,809
Why don't you tell Dusty here
how much your son means to you

198
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:44,846
in this season of good cheer?

199
00:08:49,219 --> 00:08:50,819
- You see?
- He didn't say nice things

200
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,019
like you think he did, Brad.

201
00:08:52,021 --> 00:08:53,320
Dusty, you're being silly.

202
00:08:53,322 --> 00:08:55,490
I mean, who wouldn't be
impressed with you?

203
00:08:55,492 --> 00:08:57,391
Come on.
204
00:08:57,393 --> 00:08:58,394
Dear God!

205
00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:05,869
He looks as if he's been
chiseled from Gibraltar itself.

206
00:09:10,473 --> 00:09:13,410
This is gonna come off weird,
Dusty, but he's beautiful.

207
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,816
I want to be his friend so bad.

208
00:09:27,056 --> 00:09:28,993
- Dusty.
- Hey, Pop.

209
00:09:29,725 --> 00:09:31,324
- How was your flight?
- Not bad.

210
00:09:31,326 --> 00:09:33,462
Took 20 minutes to get
to the gate though.

211
00:09:33,464 --> 00:09:35,664
What's with that bottleneck
you got out there?

212
00:09:35,666 --> 00:09:40,101
I'm sorry our local airport tarmac's
not up to your standards, huh?

213
00:09:40,103 --> 00:09:42,971
I'm sorry. I didn't realize
you designed this airport,

214
00:09:42,973 --> 00:09:44,405
or I'd have been
more sensitive.

215
00:09:44,407 --> 00:09:46,540
Oh, I guess I'll move to a new
town with a better airport

216
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:49,944
that way you won't be inconvenienced
when you show up every five years or so.

217
00:09:49,946 --> 00:09:52,247
Same old
Mr. Touchy. I love it.

218
00:09:52,249 --> 00:09:53,714
Here you go, Pancho.

219
00:09:53,716 --> 00:09:55,383
Why don't you bring the car around,
we'll meet you at the curb.

220
00:09:55,385 --> 00:09:56,416
Right away, sir.

221
00:09:56,418 --> 00:09:59,655
I mean, no, I'm sorry,
I'm not the driver.

222
00:09:59,657 --> 00:10:00,856
No, I'm Brad.

223
00:10:00,858 --> 00:10:02,156
The stepdad.

224
00:10:02,158 --> 00:10:04,192
- This is Sara's husband.
- Why is he with you?

225
00:10:04,194 --> 00:10:06,627
Dad!

226
00:10:09,832 --> 00:10:13,002
That sweater. He wears a red sweater,
so I can see him in a crowd.

227
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:17,472
Dad!

228
00:10:17,474 --> 00:10:19,210
That's him, that's Dad.

229
00:10:25,148 --> 00:10:26,984
Dad. Dad.

230
00:10:36,726 --> 00:10:39,128
- I made a sign.
- There's my big man.

231
00:10:42,965 --> 00:10:44,998
And this guy's raising
your kids half the time?

232
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,334
He hasn't seen his dad
in a really long time.

233
00:10:47,336 --> 00:10:50,471
It's only been since Thanksgiving,
but it feels like forever.

234
00:10:50,473 --> 00:10:53,006
- It does!
- Oh!

235
00:10:53,008 --> 00:10:55,410
Four weeks? It's been
a few years for us.

236
00:10:55,412 --> 00:10:58,179
What should we do? You want
me to take my pants off?

237
00:10:58,181 --> 00:10:59,548
Hey, where's Mom?

238
00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:01,083
You didn't get her text?

239
00:11:01,085 --> 00:11:04,019
Uncle Arny came down with
a bad case of the shingles.

240
00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:06,253
- No.
- So Mom's staying back

241
00:11:06,255 --> 00:11:07,789
- to take care of him.
- Okay.
242
00:11:07,791 --> 00:11:09,823
But, hey, you still got me.

243
00:11:09,825 --> 00:11:11,859
I sure do. I sure do!

244
00:11:11,861 --> 00:11:13,062
Oh!

245
00:11:14,297 --> 00:11:15,965
We're gonna
have the best time.

246
00:11:16,432 --> 00:11:18,065
Oh! Dusty!

247
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,300
- Hey, Don.
- Hey, Muscles, come here.

248
00:11:20,302 --> 00:11:23,139
I've got a cold.
Stay away. Don, Don!

249
00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:25,439
Say, Dusty,

250
00:11:25,441 --> 00:11:28,242
Brad told me about this
Together Christmas we're doing.

251
00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:32,447
You two are such wonderful,
progressive co-dads.

252
00:11:32,449 --> 00:11:33,647
Co-dads?

253
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:36,184
I'm so sorry. Mr. Mayron,
this is my father, Don Whitaker.

254
00:11:36,186 --> 00:11:39,152
The pleasure is all mine,
Captain!
255
00:11:39,154 --> 00:11:42,524
You piloted the Space Shuttle
Atlantis in 1992

256
00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:45,794
and commanded the Endeavour
on three missions in 1994!

257
00:11:45,796 --> 00:11:47,464
All right, come on,
we're out this way.

258
00:11:48,364 --> 00:11:49,631
Thanks, Dusty.

259
00:11:49,633 --> 00:11:53,101
Say, Kurt, did you meet any
interesting folks on your flight?

260
00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,902
I met a Scotch and a pillow.

261
00:11:55,904 --> 00:11:58,106
You know, actually,
I always pick the flights

262
00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,342
that have the most connections
so that

263
00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,445
I get to chat with as many
new people as possible.

264
00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,516
- Oh, so you're a lunatic. Good to know.
- That's me!

265
00:12:16,192 --> 00:12:20,029
Looks like one of your neighbors
is getting an oversized parcel.

266
00:12:20,564 --> 00:12:22,197
Hello!

267
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,498
Don Whitaker,
United States Postal Service!

268
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:28,535
Retired, but never too old to
lend a hand to a fellow carrier.

269
00:12:28,537 --> 00:12:31,838
Brad, I gotta tell you, this baby
sure gives you a smooth ride.

270
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:32,907
Oh, thank you, Kurt.

271
00:12:32,909 --> 00:12:35,142
Yeah, it is surprisingly
responsive.

272
00:12:35,144 --> 00:12:36,544
Brad, he's not...

273
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,045
So do they take your balls
right there at the dealership,

274
00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:39,580
or do you send them in
with the registration?

275
00:12:39,582 --> 00:12:40,814
How does it work exactly?

276
00:12:40,816 --> 00:12:43,184
No, no, they didn't take my balls.
Just $2,000 down.

277
00:12:43,186 --> 00:12:44,685
This your place, Dusty?

278
00:12:44,687 --> 00:12:47,188
- I pictured it nicer.
- Yeah, Dusty's house is nicer.

279
00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:48,522
This is my house.
280
00:12:48,524 --> 00:12:50,491
Just thought you'd like to
step in and see the kids.

281
00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:53,127
Only if it's okay. Look, we don't
want to infringe on your days.

282
00:12:53,129 --> 00:12:55,296
Of course, don't be silly.
Come on, guys.

283
00:12:55,298 --> 00:12:58,867
You got to ask another man's
permission to see your own kids?

284
00:12:58,869 --> 00:13:00,537
Unbelievable.

285
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:04,639
We're back! With more daddies!

286
00:13:04,641 --> 00:13:07,574
Hey! Look how big you two got!

287
00:13:07,576 --> 00:13:09,910
Come on. Don't I get a hug?
Come on!

288
00:13:11,247 --> 00:13:12,914
And who's this barroom brawler?

289
00:13:12,916 --> 00:13:14,314
He's our brother,
Griffy, silly.

290
00:13:14,316 --> 00:13:17,318
Hey, come here, pardner.
Dusty, you never told me.

291
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,121
- Why, he looks just like you.
- Yeah, not my kid.

292
00:13:20,123 --> 00:13:21,957
Oh, no, no, no.
I fathered that one.

293
00:13:21,959 --> 00:13:23,692
Oh. Ah, then how does he
relate to me then?

294
00:13:23,694 --> 00:13:27,060
Well, he is the brother
of your grandkids, Kurt.

295
00:13:27,062 --> 00:13:28,728
- Oh. Here, here.
- Oh. Okay.

296
00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:30,665
Hey, looking good, Buttercup.

297
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:32,136
Good to see you.

298
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,468
- Look who's here!
- Pop-Pop!

299
00:13:36,406 --> 00:13:38,106
- Tell us a Pop-Pop joke!
- Ooh, ooh.

300
00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,407
What's a good one?
Why does a duck have feathers?

301
00:13:40,409 --> 00:13:41,442
Why?

302
00:13:41,444 --> 00:13:44,648
To cover up his butt quack.

303
00:13:45,581 --> 00:13:47,482
Hey, kids,
I got a good one for you.

304
00:13:47,484 --> 00:13:49,885
- Two dead hookers wash up on the shore...
- Hey, hey!

305
00:13:49,887 --> 00:13:51,852
- Whoa, whoa, shut up.
- No way. No way.

306
00:13:51,854 --> 00:13:54,792
- Sara. How's my girl?
- Hi!

307
00:13:55,892 --> 00:13:57,290
What, Ginny couldn't make it?

308
00:13:57,292 --> 00:13:58,525
Oh, she feels terrible.

309
00:13:58,527 --> 00:14:01,328
But she sent a batch of
her special cookies!

310
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:03,664
- Is there milk in that kitchen?
- Yay!

311
00:14:03,666 --> 00:14:05,599
I want the first one.

312
00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:07,602
I get the first one!

313
00:14:07,604 --> 00:14:11,205
So he gets to be Pop-Pop
and I'm just Grandpa Kurt?

314
00:14:11,207 --> 00:14:13,174
What? I'm in charge of the
cutesy grandpa names now?

315
00:14:13,176 --> 00:14:15,742
Look, if you want a better name, maybe
try showing up a little more often.

316
00:14:15,744 --> 00:14:19,082
Tell the kids, from now on,
it's El Padre.

317
00:14:20,984 --> 00:14:22,386
No more hooker jokes.
318
00:14:24,287 --> 00:14:27,588
These don't taste like La-La's cookies.
They taste like Chips Ahoys.

319
00:14:27,590 --> 00:14:30,123
No, no. I sat right there
in the kitchen

320
00:14:30,125 --> 00:14:32,327
and watched Grandma
bake them just yesterday.

321
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:33,560
I like them.

322
00:14:33,562 --> 00:14:36,997
So, this co-dads thing,
is that what you call it?

323
00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,766
Yeah, that's what we call it.

324
00:14:38,768 --> 00:14:41,102
So, on his watch,
he disciplines your kids,

325
00:14:41,104 --> 00:14:43,003
gives them advice, tucks
them in, so forth

326
00:14:43,005 --> 00:14:44,439
and that bothers
you not a bit?

327
00:14:44,441 --> 00:14:45,539
Doesn't bother me at all.

328
00:14:45,541 --> 00:14:47,474
And his total lack of
masculinity...

329
00:14:47,476 --> 00:14:51,411
I mean, his weak chin and soft
underbelly influencing your son,

330
00:14:51,413 --> 00:14:53,113
you're good there,
too? Yeah?

331
00:14:53,115 --> 00:14:55,883
You know what? I'm just feeling like
maybe you guys want a little privacy.

332
00:14:55,885 --> 00:14:57,484
Stay right there,
Brad, all right?

333
00:14:57,486 --> 00:14:59,087
He's just trying
to stir the turd.

334
00:14:59,089 --> 00:15:00,788
You can scoff all you want.

335
00:15:00,790 --> 00:15:02,623
Everything is rock solid
between me and Brad here.

336
00:15:02,625 --> 00:15:06,660
- In fact, best friends.
- Really?

337
00:15:06,662 --> 00:15:09,329
- Thank you.
- Brad. Stop it. Now.

338
00:15:09,331 --> 00:15:11,332
- I'm good.
- He gets really emotional.

339
00:15:11,334 --> 00:15:14,367
- Brad. Hey. Brother.
- Did you call me "brother"?

340
00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:16,371
B-Dawg.
Chill out, man. Relax.

341
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,641
All right? Cut it out.

342
00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:19,674
- Brad, don't.
- I know.

343
00:15:19,676 --> 00:15:22,309
Stop. All right, look. Hey.
Brad, stop!

344
00:15:22,311 --> 00:15:25,447
Looks like you two guys
have a real solid arrangement.

345
00:15:25,449 --> 00:15:27,582
You're spending Christmas
together and everything.

346
00:15:27,584 --> 00:15:29,883
Speaking of which, whose place
are we doing that at?

347
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,919
We're totally happy to host
if it makes it easier.

348
00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,721
Yeah, we could do it at my place.
I got more room.

349
00:15:33,723 --> 00:15:35,823
We can do presents at our place,
dinner at yours.

350
00:15:35,825 --> 00:15:37,958
Nah, all that back and forth,
who needs that?

351
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,294
This place, that place.

352
00:15:39,296 --> 00:15:42,563
Why don't I book us
a great vacation spot

353
00:15:42,565 --> 00:15:44,365
for all of us,
and we can all spend

354
00:15:44,367 --> 00:15:45,900
the holiday week together?
355
00:15:45,902 --> 00:15:47,168
- Yay! Cool!
- Thanks, El Padre.

356
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,502
I love this idea!

357
00:15:49,504 --> 00:15:51,439
It's something extra Christmasy,

358
00:15:51,441 --> 00:15:54,608
with lots of snow and family
activities for all of us.

359
00:15:54,610 --> 00:15:56,343
Dad, I'm just worried about
finding a place,

360
00:15:56,345 --> 00:15:57,679
you know, this close
to the holiday.

361
00:15:57,681 --> 00:16:00,147
Booked it! Airbnb. All done.

362
00:16:00,149 --> 00:16:02,650
Yay, El Padre!

363
00:16:02,652 --> 00:16:06,889
It's gonna be so fun, since we're
all such great friends, huh?

364
00:16:09,292 --> 00:16:11,525
Off to the mountains.
Here we go, Griffy.

365
00:16:11,527 --> 00:16:14,127
- Here we go.
- Big fun trip!

366
00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,563
Let me get
that for you, Sara.

367
00:16:15,565 --> 00:16:17,165
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

368
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:18,967
You know, Dusty,
I think you and Kurt

369
00:16:18,969 --> 00:16:21,236
spending some time
around me and my dad

370
00:16:21,238 --> 00:16:22,569
might do you both some good.

371
00:16:22,571 --> 00:16:24,038
Hey, don't you see
what he's up to here?

372
00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,341
He thinks you and me are harboring
bad feelings for one another

373
00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:29,343
and sticking us together in some cabin is
gonna bring out whatever we're harboring.

374
00:16:29,345 --> 00:16:30,977
But you're not,
are you, Brad?

375
00:16:30,979 --> 00:16:32,246
- I'm not what?
- Harboring!

376
00:16:32,248 --> 00:16:33,580
No, I'm not harboring anything.

377
00:16:33,582 --> 00:16:34,982
Good, 'cause I'm not
harboring anything either.

378
00:16:34,984 --> 00:16:36,250
Okay, well, let's use
this as an opportunity

379
00:16:36,252 --> 00:16:37,218
to show him
that we're not harboring.

380
00:16:37,220 --> 00:16:38,486
'Cause we're not harboring.

381
00:16:38,488 --> 00:16:39,654
You're looking at
one safe harbor right here.

382
00:16:39,656 --> 00:16:41,189
All right, good.

383
00:16:41,191 --> 00:16:42,823
You sure you want to pack it like that?
Is that how you're gonna do it?

384
00:16:42,825 --> 00:16:45,293
Look, me and Brad got everything
under control as a team, okay?

385
00:16:45,295 --> 00:16:46,761
- Right, Brad?
- That's right.

386
00:16:46,763 --> 00:16:48,262
Yeah, what would I know
about travel?

387
00:16:48,264 --> 00:16:49,630
I've only been
to frickin' space.

388
00:16:49,632 --> 00:16:51,332
What, did you pack
the space shuttle yourself?

389
00:16:51,334 --> 00:16:53,501
You pop the trunk, arrange all the bags
for you and your little space friends?

390
00:16:53,503 --> 00:16:55,772
I did, as a matter of fact.
Yes, I packed the shuttle.

391
00:16:57,739 --> 00:16:59,240
That's so cool!
392
00:16:59,242 --> 00:17:01,242
I love how you're always
jotting down ideas

393
00:17:01,244 --> 00:17:03,343
for your book
in your little notepad.

394
00:17:03,345 --> 00:17:04,611
People ever get crazy and think

395
00:17:04,613 --> 00:17:06,482
you might be writing
something bad about them?

396
00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:13,954
Say, Brad, would you mind doing some
"Yes, And" drills with me on the way?

397
00:17:13,956 --> 00:17:16,557
"Yes, And" thank you
for asking me.

398
00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:19,493
I recently joined
an improv comedy workshop.

399
00:17:19,495 --> 00:17:21,427
Brad's been pushing me to do it
for years.

400
00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:22,864
Because you're so funny.

401
00:17:22,866 --> 00:17:24,365
Yeah, I really enjoy it.

402
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:25,665
You should look into it, too,
Kurt.

403
00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:27,702
I'd rather look into
a loaded gun.

404
00:17:27,704 --> 00:17:29,436
- Did you hear that?
- Did you just make that up?

405
00:17:29,438 --> 00:17:31,437
- Zinger!
- That's provocative, too.

406
00:17:31,439 --> 00:17:32,973
You ready to let me do that,
Mr. Stubborn?

407
00:17:32,975 --> 00:17:35,142
- I got it.
- It's never gonna fit.

408
00:17:35,144 --> 00:17:36,577
Hey, kids, no, no, no, no,

409
00:17:36,579 --> 00:17:39,246
why don't you jump into my car
with Adrianna, all right?

410
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:43,684
So Grandpa Kurt here can enjoy Pop-Pop's
company on the way up.

411
00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:46,521
Already warmed up a spot
in the capsule for you, Captain!

412
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,625
Still never gonna fit. Ever.

413
00:17:52,028 --> 00:17:54,028
No, I got it. It's fitting fine.

414
00:17:54,030 --> 00:17:55,898
I just had to put it wheels-in.

415
00:18:00,403 --> 00:18:02,735
Perfect fit!
All right, let's go.

416
00:18:02,737 --> 00:18:04,672
Hey, Adrianna, you know,
when we're up there,
417
00:18:04,674 --> 00:18:06,241
I can teach you
how to snowboard.

418
00:18:06,243 --> 00:18:07,407
You're not my dad.

419
00:18:07,409 --> 00:18:09,779
All right.
It's gonna be a fun trip.

420
00:18:14,451 --> 00:18:16,850
It's time for
One-Word Story.

421
00:18:16,852 --> 00:18:19,319
Anyone can join in, doesn't have
to be just Dad and I.

422
00:18:19,321 --> 00:18:21,923
You always give us
the best start.

423
00:18:21,925 --> 00:18:24,090
- Uncle...
- ...Thomas...

424
00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:25,693
- ...went...
- ...tiptoeing...

425
00:18:25,695 --> 00:18:26,895
...into the...

426
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,363
...Empire State Building.

427
00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,331
Where were you going
with that one?

428
00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:34,734
This all took place
at the pancake breakfast!

429
00:18:34,736 --> 00:18:36,503
<i>♪ Fifty-six bottles of beer
on the wall</i>

430
00:18:36,505 --> 00:18:38,306
<i>♪ Fifty-six bottles of beer ♪</i>

431
00:18:38,308 --> 00:18:40,441
"G." Georgia,
Georgia license plate!

432
00:18:40,443 --> 00:18:42,378
Ready, and... Quiet Game.

433
00:18:44,981 --> 00:18:46,713
- I'm terrible at this game!
- I can't do it!

434
00:18:46,715 --> 00:18:48,581
- I just can't do it.
- I hate the Quiet Game!

435
00:19:06,535 --> 00:19:08,735
We always
liked the Shimpahs.

436
00:19:08,737 --> 00:19:13,240
The movers thought the Shimpahs' house
was our house and almost moved us in there!

437
00:19:13,242 --> 00:19:16,210
The wrong family! We would've
been living with the Shimpahs!

438
00:19:16,212 --> 00:19:17,778
Which I wouldn't
have minded,

439
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:20,647
'cause I had a huge crush
on Vicky Shimpah.

440
00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:23,318
Dad, thank you.

441
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,419
You make a five-hour trip
go by like that!
442
00:19:25,421 --> 00:19:27,120
I just wanted everybody
to have a good time.

443
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,089
Nothing like a nice,
relaxing road trip, huh, Dad?

444
00:19:29,091 --> 00:19:30,324
It was nothing.

445
00:19:30,326 --> 00:19:32,960
I've been in a confined
space with a chimp.

446
00:19:49,911 --> 00:19:53,579
Dylan's got a girlfriend!

447
00:19:53,581 --> 00:19:54,749
No, I don't! Be quiet!

448
00:19:54,751 --> 00:19:56,049
Yeah, you love her.

449
00:19:56,051 --> 00:19:58,284
You want to buy her flowers
and kiss her on the lips.

450
00:19:58,286 --> 00:19:59,819
Stop it! It's not funny!

451
00:19:59,821 --> 00:20:03,022
Megan! What did I say about
teasing your brother about girls?

452
00:20:03,024 --> 00:20:04,091
She's still doing it.

453
00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,960
And she drilled him in the head
with a snowball too.

454
00:20:05,962 --> 00:20:08,028
Well, I'm not her mother.
455
00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:10,697
Now, go take your brother
inside, please. Go on, sweetie.

456
00:20:10,699 --> 00:20:11,865
Come on, Griffy.

457
00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:14,601
So Dylan's started
noticing the girls?

458
00:20:14,603 --> 00:20:17,771
You know, I think it's gonna
be time to give him the talk.

459
00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,640
The talk? You mean the talk
about the nitty-gritty?

460
00:20:20,642 --> 00:20:22,510
- The "nitty-gritty"?
- I'm on it, Sar-Bear.

461
00:20:22,512 --> 00:20:24,044
I've been looking forward to
this for a long time.

462
00:20:24,046 --> 00:20:25,579
I got a whole speech prepared,
all right?

463
00:20:25,581 --> 00:20:26,981
It's all heartwarming stuff.

464
00:20:26,983 --> 00:20:29,552
I'm sure you and Brad will do
a bang-up job with that.

465
00:20:30,519 --> 00:20:32,919
Unless this isn't
a co-dadding moment?

466
00:20:32,921 --> 00:20:34,289
- No.
- No.

467
00:20:34,291 --> 00:20:36,956
- I mean, no, of course it is.
- It is.

468
00:20:36,958 --> 00:20:38,424
- Yeah, it is. It's gonna be.
- Okay, yeah.

469
00:20:38,426 --> 00:20:39,961
Yeah, we're gonna
talk to him together.

470
00:20:39,963 --> 00:20:42,766
Oh, Dusty! I read about some
gender-neutral flashcards.

471
00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:44,665
Flashcards.

472
00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:46,767
He's got flashcards
to teach your son how to score.

473
00:20:46,769 --> 00:20:48,101
No, of course not.

474
00:20:48,103 --> 00:20:50,771
They cover human reproduction,
puberty, and hygiene.

475
00:20:50,773 --> 00:20:53,174
Okay, great. You tee it
up with the flashcards,

476
00:20:53,176 --> 00:20:55,009
and I'll knock it home
with the heartwarming speech.

477
00:20:55,011 --> 00:20:56,978
- All right? We got this.
- You're all set.

478
00:20:56,980 --> 00:21:01,714
I'll never forget when Brad first
started asking questions about girls.

479
00:21:01,716 --> 00:21:04,685
I took him out for "the talk."

480
00:21:04,687 --> 00:21:07,887
He was so inquisitive and
attentive.

481
00:21:07,889 --> 00:21:10,857
Then I dropped him back off
at his dorm.

482
00:21:10,859 --> 00:21:11,861
Yeah...

483
00:21:12,462 --> 00:21:13,830
Well, come on in.

484
00:21:18,501 --> 00:21:20,033
Hey, look, there's a game room!

485
00:21:20,035 --> 00:21:22,203
- Wow. Adrianna, look.
- And a pool table!

486
00:21:22,205 --> 00:21:23,503
This is what I'm talking about.

487
00:21:23,505 --> 00:21:25,539
Look at that view!

488
00:21:25,541 --> 00:21:27,908
Look at all the mortise and
tenon joinery!

489
00:21:27,910 --> 00:21:29,077
Sittin' fat.

490
00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,846
Your old man sure pulled the
right rein getting this place.

491
00:21:31,848 --> 00:21:34,013
Oh, wow. I know. Better throw
you a parade, huh?

492
00:21:34,015 --> 00:21:36,684
Oh, I am really
looking forward to that.

493
00:21:36,686 --> 00:21:38,552
Well, you want the thank yous
printed on the bass drums

494
00:21:38,554 --> 00:21:39,752
or the sousaphone covers?

495
00:21:39,754 --> 00:21:42,091
Hey, did anyone bring my bag in?

496
00:21:45,293 --> 00:21:47,294
My supervisor Clyde Unix...

497
00:21:47,296 --> 00:21:50,563
He took over after
Kirby Keller retired in '86.

498
00:21:50,565 --> 00:21:53,434
Horse farm,
upper peninsula of Michigan.

499
00:21:53,436 --> 00:21:55,705
Gorgeous country,
if you ever get the chance.

500
00:21:59,509 --> 00:22:00,710
Wow.

501
00:22:01,244 --> 00:22:02,712
Nice shower.

502
00:22:04,379 --> 00:22:05,782
That's weird.

503
00:22:06,616 --> 00:22:08,184
No controls.

504
00:22:09,118 --> 00:22:11,452
Hey, honey,
how do you turn the shower on?

505
00:22:11,454 --> 00:22:13,387
<i>Shower on.</i>
506
00:22:13,389 --> 00:22:14,922
Off! Shower off!

507
00:22:14,924 --> 00:22:17,023
<i>Shower off.</i>

508
00:22:17,025 --> 00:22:18,827
Gosh! Ooh!

509
00:22:19,728 --> 00:22:22,029
Voice-activated water. Cool.

510
00:22:22,031 --> 00:22:23,931
<i>Water cool.</i>

511
00:22:23,933 --> 00:22:26,599
- Off! Shower off!
- <i>Shower off.</i>

512
00:22:26,601 --> 00:22:28,469
- Water... Cool...
- <i>Water. Shower cool.</i>

513
00:22:28,471 --> 00:22:30,205
- Cool the water.
- <i>Water cool.</i>

514
00:22:31,041 --> 00:22:33,176
Water off! Turn off!

515
00:22:34,409 --> 00:22:35,644
Off.

516
00:22:36,012 --> 00:22:37,377
Oh, my God.

517
00:22:38,513 --> 00:22:39,614
Oh, my God!

518
00:22:39,616 --> 00:22:41,883
You scored on yourself.
Friendly fire.

519
00:22:41,885 --> 00:22:43,584
Eight ball,
corner pocket.

520
00:22:43,586 --> 00:22:44,984
- Ooh! No slashing.
- Yeah.

521
00:22:44,986 --> 00:22:47,023
- Good job, babe.
- Thank you, babe.

522
00:22:48,623 --> 00:22:50,491
Come on, Sara!

523
00:22:50,493 --> 00:22:52,095
No, that is holding.

524
00:22:55,764 --> 00:22:57,565
It's too loud, Dylan!
Turn it down!

525
00:22:57,567 --> 00:22:58,665
I don't know how!

526
00:22:58,667 --> 00:23:00,635
Hey, hey, hey, turn that down!

527
00:23:00,637 --> 00:23:02,304
Griffy's asleep.

528
00:23:05,841 --> 00:23:07,574
Why are you dressed like
a woman, Brad?

529
00:23:07,576 --> 00:23:08,809
I can't find my stuff.

530
00:23:08,811 --> 00:23:10,543
Are you sure you got my bag
to fit in the car?

531
00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:11,912
Yeah, of course. It fit perfect.

532
00:23:11,914 --> 00:23:14,080
Look, can we skip this one?
I can't stand this song.
533
00:23:14,082 --> 00:23:17,518
- Skip it. Skip it, guys.
- Oh, no, no, no! No, Sara.

534
00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:19,153
This is a great song.

535
00:23:19,155 --> 00:23:21,555
This is my real dad's
favorite Christmas song.

536
00:23:21,557 --> 00:23:23,723
Yeah, well, I'm glad it makes
him happy.

537
00:23:23,725 --> 00:23:25,158
You think I don't want to like
this song?

538
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:27,561
Of course I want to,
it's a super uplifting song.

539
00:23:27,563 --> 00:23:29,763
- Yeah.
- But he ruined it for me.

540
00:23:29,765 --> 00:23:31,232
What are you talking about?

541
00:23:31,234 --> 00:23:33,835
All right, so I'm 12 years old,
and I join the Glee Club.

542
00:23:33,837 --> 00:23:35,302
Glee Club.

543
00:23:35,304 --> 00:23:37,471
All my buddies in the neighborhood,
they gave me crap over it,

544
00:23:37,473 --> 00:23:39,007
but I don't care,
because for the holiday pageant

545
00:23:39,009 --> 00:23:40,640
we're doing
<i>Do They Know It's Christmas?,</i>

546
00:23:40,642 --> 00:23:43,176
and I was determined
to land that Bono part.

547
00:23:43,178 --> 00:23:47,915
<i>♪ There's a world outside
your window</i>

548
00:23:47,917 --> 00:23:52,051
<i>♪ And it's a world of dread
and fear</i>

549
00:23:52,053 --> 00:23:55,655
<i>♪ Where the only water
flowing is...</i>

550
00:23:55,657 --> 00:23:59,626
<i>So my buddy Derrick Lindmeyer
is laying into the Sting part,</i>

551
00:23:59,628 --> 00:24:01,895
<i>when out in the audience,
what do I see?</i>

552
00:24:01,897 --> 00:24:04,498
<i>My dad giving Scotty
Kimball's mom a foot rub,</i>

553
00:24:04,500 --> 00:24:05,869
<i>not even paying attention!</i>

554
00:24:10,272 --> 00:24:14,040
<i>I totally missed the Bono part,
and everybody made fun of me.</i>

555
00:24:17,312 --> 00:24:21,080
<i>♪ And there won't be
snow in Africa</i>

556
00:24:21,082 --> 00:24:23,684
<i>♪ this Christmastime... ♪</i>

557
00:24:23,686 --> 00:24:25,418
I got no recollection of that.

558
00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:26,721
Yeah, well, I do, all right?

559
00:24:26,723 --> 00:24:28,155
And I got a lot of other
stories just like it.

560
00:24:28,157 --> 00:24:30,424
Science Fair, you left with Brian Higby's mom.

561
00:24:30,426 --> 00:24:33,827
Little League regionals, you left with
Mark Fitzgerald's mom and his aunt!

562
00:24:33,829 --> 00:24:35,296
Oh, yeah,
now that I remember.

563
00:24:35,298 --> 00:24:36,830
Yeah, yeah.
That went into extra innings.

564
00:24:36,832 --> 00:24:38,299
Know what I mean, kid?

565
00:24:38,301 --> 00:24:39,703
- No.
- Ah.

566
00:24:40,136 --> 00:24:41,204
Nice.

567
00:24:45,274 --> 00:24:47,273
Dusty! Dusty! Come on.

568
00:24:47,275 --> 00:24:49,876
He's gonna ruin Christmas, Brad,
I'm telling you.

569
00:24:49,878 --> 00:24:52,113
Look, I hate to hit you
with the tough love,

570
00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:55,014
but the only person
who can ruin your Christmas

571
00:24:55,016 --> 00:24:57,953
is looking back at you
from that mirror.

572
00:24:59,688 --> 00:25:01,488
- All I see is you, Brad.
- Oh.

573
00:25:01,490 --> 00:25:03,359
Okay. Well, sorry. Here. Here.

574
00:25:04,561 --> 00:25:05,861
There. There we go.

575
00:25:06,462 --> 00:25:07,794
- Still you, Brad.
- Is it?

576
00:25:07,796 --> 00:25:09,163
Yeah, it's still you.

577
00:25:09,165 --> 00:25:11,999
Okay, well, look, I'm looking
at you, so I meant you.

578
00:25:12,001 --> 00:25:13,733
Well, I'm looking at you,
so I see you.

579
00:25:13,735 --> 00:25:14,967
Forget the mirror.

580
00:25:14,969 --> 00:25:16,703
You're the only one
who can ruin your Christmas.

581
00:25:16,705 --> 00:25:17,937
Don't look at the mirror!

582
00:25:17,939 --> 00:25:19,173
I'm still looking at you
if I look in the mirror.

583
00:25:19,175 --> 00:25:21,742
Don't worry about the mirror.
That was bad.

584
00:25:21,744 --> 00:25:23,411
- Forget the mirror exists.
- Okay.

585
00:25:23,413 --> 00:25:24,944
Let's just focus on those kids

586
00:25:24,946 --> 00:25:27,117
and giving them
a better childhood than you had.

587
00:25:28,751 --> 00:25:30,217
- You're right.
- Yeah?

588
00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:31,184
It's about them.

589
00:25:31,186 --> 00:25:32,453
It's about giving them
a better Christmas.

590
00:25:32,455 --> 00:25:33,787
There you go.

591
00:25:33,789 --> 00:25:35,588
Yeah, and then we jam that amazing
Christmas right in his butthole!

592
00:25:35,590 --> 00:25:37,723
Yes, we do.
Wait! Whoa, whoa! No.

593
00:25:37,725 --> 00:25:39,260
Yes!

594
00:25:39,262 --> 00:25:41,328
You know, Dusty, I'm just gonna
take the mirror down.

595
00:25:41,330 --> 00:25:43,263
Then we don't have to worry
about it.
596
00:25:45,767 --> 00:25:47,068
Yeah!

597
00:25:47,070 --> 00:25:49,103
- Here we go.
- Here we go.

598
00:25:49,105 --> 00:25:51,141
Hey, where's your glove?

599
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:54,777
No! Griffy!

600
00:25:56,211 --> 00:25:57,511
Excuse me.

601
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,182
Griffy!

602
00:26:02,384 --> 00:26:03,920
Griffy! Hey!

603
00:26:04,587 --> 00:26:06,419
Griffy!

604
00:26:06,421 --> 00:26:08,521
Griffy!

605
00:26:08,523 --> 00:26:10,457
Watch out, honey!

606
00:26:16,264 --> 00:26:18,467
Is that Brad?

607
00:26:21,035 --> 00:26:23,038
- That's Brad!
- That's Brad.

608
00:26:24,773 --> 00:26:27,140
That boy never...

609
00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:29,912
Hey, come here. Look at this.
610
00:26:35,451 --> 00:26:37,320
Mmm. Honey.

611
00:26:38,286 --> 00:26:39,555
- Oh.
- Ow!

612
00:26:41,890 --> 00:26:43,292
Dusty, you like that?

613
00:26:46,195 --> 00:26:48,097
Let me capture
this for posterity.

614
00:26:52,100 --> 00:26:55,001
The Nativity is a big deal
in Terra Haute.

615
00:26:55,003 --> 00:26:58,070
This is the Redeemer,
this is Abundant Life.

616
00:26:58,072 --> 00:26:59,138
Dad.

617
00:26:59,140 --> 00:27:01,910
Let's go, Pop-Pop.

618
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,749
- It's real pretty.
- We'll take the pretty gun.

619
00:27:08,751 --> 00:27:11,217
No. No, no, no, no.

620
00:27:11,219 --> 00:27:14,355
We're not gonna take that today
'cause we are a gun-free family.

621
00:27:14,357 --> 00:27:17,961
Good Lord.
What has he turned you into?

622
00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,869
- Ahh!
- Ha-ha!
623
00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:29,269
All right, throw it down!

624
00:27:29,271 --> 00:27:31,507
All right, here it comes,
Braddie!

625
00:27:38,446 --> 00:27:39,482
Brad!

626
00:27:45,587 --> 00:27:47,221
Hey, honey!

627
00:27:47,223 --> 00:27:48,856
Brad! Brad!

628
00:27:48,858 --> 00:27:51,492
You need a hat.
You're gonna freeze, babe.

629
00:27:51,494 --> 00:27:52,693
Thanks, sweetie.

630
00:27:52,695 --> 00:27:54,161
You look cute.

631
00:27:54,163 --> 00:27:57,563
Hey, I want to talk to you.
I'm worried about your dad.

632
00:27:57,565 --> 00:28:00,701
Don't you think he seems slightly
less chatty than normal?

633
00:28:00,703 --> 00:28:02,071
You got to be shitting me.

634
00:28:03,004 --> 00:28:04,871
I mean, he shows up here without
your mom?

635
00:28:04,873 --> 00:28:07,374
Don't you think that's weird?
There might be a problem?
636
00:28:07,376 --> 00:28:09,242
With my mom and dad's
relationship?

637
00:28:09,244 --> 00:28:10,144
Yeah!

638
00:28:10,146 --> 00:28:12,648
What? They love each other
more than we do!

639
00:28:13,248 --> 00:28:14,146
Yeah.

640
00:28:14,148 --> 00:28:15,848
I brought you your hat!

641
00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:17,818
No, honey,
I didn't mean it that way.

642
00:28:17,820 --> 00:28:19,886
It's a huge compliment. Come on.

643
00:28:19,888 --> 00:28:21,053
You got to understand.

644
00:28:21,055 --> 00:28:22,958
Brad! The Christmas lights!

645
00:28:23,759 --> 00:28:26,193
No, no, no, no.

646
00:28:26,195 --> 00:28:28,328
All the light strands
are connected.

647
00:28:28,330 --> 00:28:29,564
A terrible idea!

648
00:28:33,569 --> 00:28:35,071
None of these switches work!

649
00:28:37,105 --> 00:28:39,373
Heads up.
650
00:28:39,375 --> 00:28:41,742
Dad! What are these levers for?

651
00:28:41,744 --> 00:28:43,010
Ow!

652
00:28:43,012 --> 00:28:44,644
- Sara!
- Stand clear!

653
00:28:44,646 --> 00:28:45,715
Brad!

654
00:28:51,486 --> 00:28:52,919
Brad, let it go!

655
00:28:52,921 --> 00:28:54,421
I don't want it to hit your car.

656
00:28:54,423 --> 00:28:56,559
Let it go!

657
00:28:58,359 --> 00:29:00,694
- Tell him to let it go.
- Let it go!

658
00:29:10,606 --> 00:29:12,075
Are you all right?

659
00:29:13,375 --> 00:29:16,344
Look what you did
to the side of my car, man.

660
00:29:20,582 --> 00:29:22,949
Dusty, I'm so sorry.

661
00:29:22,951 --> 00:29:25,684
Honey!

662
00:29:29,658 --> 00:29:31,724
I'm not putting that Santa Claus
back up there.

663
00:29:31,726 --> 00:29:34,994
I don't want to put it back
on the roof, either.

664
00:29:34,996 --> 00:29:37,097
Why didn't he let go?

665
00:29:37,099 --> 00:29:38,734
Because he's an idiot!

666
00:29:51,813 --> 00:29:53,416
Son of a...

667
00:30:00,790 --> 00:30:01,791
Don.

668
00:30:02,657 --> 00:30:03,757
Don.

669
00:30:03,759 --> 00:30:05,528
Don, wake up. Don!

670
00:30:06,594 --> 00:30:08,729
Don, wake up! Don! Don!

671
00:30:11,065 --> 00:30:15,069
Kurt, are you okay?
Did you have a bad dream?

672
00:30:15,071 --> 00:30:16,235
Do you need to talk?

673
00:30:16,237 --> 00:30:18,806
Yeah, I need to be held.
My heart hurts. No!

674
00:30:18,808 --> 00:30:21,541
Did you touch the thermostat?
Did you turn it up?

675
00:30:21,543 --> 00:30:23,010
Well, of course not.

676
00:30:23,012 --> 00:30:24,778
Did somebody fiddle
with the thermostat?
677
00:30:24,780 --> 00:30:25,945
Yes! It's 85 degrees.

678
00:30:25,947 --> 00:30:28,281
85! Do you have
any idea how much

679
00:30:28,283 --> 00:30:30,451
even a few degrees
can impact the gas bill?

680
00:30:30,453 --> 00:30:32,319
Of course I do!
It's unthinkable.

681
00:30:32,321 --> 00:30:35,521
Dad? Kurt?
What's going on in here?

682
00:30:35,523 --> 00:30:36,388
Why is it so hot?

683
00:30:36,390 --> 00:30:38,291
Someone fiddled
with the thermostat!

684
00:30:38,293 --> 00:30:40,562
What? Who would do that?

685
00:30:47,969 --> 00:30:49,836
What do you think you're doing?

686
00:30:49,838 --> 00:30:51,271
It's roasting in here!

687
00:30:51,273 --> 00:30:53,540
I like to sleep
with my window open.

688
00:30:53,542 --> 00:30:54,840
Hey, kid.

689
00:30:54,842 --> 00:30:57,645
Are you allowed to touch the
thermostat at your mom's house?
690
00:30:57,647 --> 00:30:58,648
Duh.

691
00:31:02,818 --> 00:31:04,217
What is going on?

692
00:31:04,219 --> 00:31:06,386
Adrianna! She turned
up the thermostat!

693
00:31:06,388 --> 00:31:08,454
Said she fiddles with
the thermostat at your place

694
00:31:08,456 --> 00:31:10,191
any time she damn well pleases.

695
00:31:11,224 --> 00:31:12,762
Dusty, is that true?
Tell me that's not true.

696
00:31:14,228 --> 00:31:16,029
Oh, criminy, Dusty!

697
00:31:16,031 --> 00:31:18,498
You might as well give her your wallet
and your 401 while you're at it!

698
00:31:18,500 --> 00:31:20,633
Brad, do you let the kids touch
the thermostat at your house?

699
00:31:20,635 --> 00:31:24,338
What? No! The thermostat
is a sacred covenant.

700
00:31:24,340 --> 00:31:26,906
I can't believe
we're even talking about this!

701
00:31:26,908 --> 00:31:28,375
This is madness!

702
00:31:28,377 --> 00:31:30,309
Oh, God, even Brad's got
his house in order.
703
00:31:30,311 --> 00:31:31,645
Hey, you got no right to talk,
all right?

704
00:31:31,647 --> 00:31:33,280
It wasn't hard to keep me away
from the thermostat

705
00:31:33,282 --> 00:31:34,880
once you shipped me off
to military school.

706
00:31:34,882 --> 00:31:36,049
Kurt, you didn't.

707
00:31:36,051 --> 00:31:37,184
He was out of control.
He was a bedwetter.

708
00:31:37,186 --> 00:31:39,019
I was a bedwetter.
Were you a bedwetter?

709
00:31:39,021 --> 00:31:40,353
I was four years old!

710
00:31:40,355 --> 00:31:42,422
Okay,
everyone take it easy.

711
00:31:42,424 --> 00:31:45,524
It's not Dusty's fault that he
lets Adrianna walk all over him.

712
00:31:45,526 --> 00:31:47,159
She does not walk all over me!

713
00:31:47,161 --> 00:31:48,994
I can see how being a stepdad,

714
00:31:48,996 --> 00:31:52,799
you might not feel empowered to
discipline someone else's child.

715
00:31:52,801 --> 00:31:55,269
Hey, quit your scoffing, all right?

716
00:31:55,271 --> 00:31:56,436
And you two quit helping me.

717
00:31:56,438 --> 00:32:00,840
Look, Karen and Roger spoil her
to no end.

718
00:32:00,842 --> 00:32:02,709
It's crazy!

719
00:32:02,711 --> 00:32:04,578
And there's nothing you can do.
I get it!

720
00:32:04,580 --> 00:32:07,114
You're the stepdad.
You're screwed.

721
00:32:07,116 --> 00:32:08,982
That kid's never
gonna respect you

722
00:32:08,984 --> 00:32:10,520
unless you bring
the hammer down.

723
00:32:19,561 --> 00:32:22,195
What the hell was that, Brad?

724
00:32:22,197 --> 00:32:24,098
I know.
He's old school.

725
00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:25,933
I think you handled this
really well, Brad.

726
00:32:25,935 --> 00:32:28,171
I'm so proud of the way
you express yourself.

727
00:32:28,904 --> 00:32:30,173
Come here.

728
00:32:30,872 --> 00:32:32,507
Again? Really?

729
00:32:34,142 --> 00:32:35,542
Good night, Dusty!

730
00:32:35,544 --> 00:32:37,712
- Good night, Dad.
- Good night, Brad.

731
00:32:57,264 --> 00:32:59,399
- Jump! Jump!
- Come on, Griff.

732
00:32:59,401 --> 00:33:00,936
Jumpy, jumpy, jumpy!

733
00:33:01,669 --> 00:33:02,671
Casey's here!

734
00:33:03,205 --> 00:33:04,407
Hey, guys.

735
00:33:04,873 --> 00:33:05,873
Hey.

736
00:33:05,875 --> 00:33:07,941
Hey, Dylan, look.
Casey's here.

737
00:33:07,943 --> 00:33:09,342
You want to come French her?

738
00:33:09,344 --> 00:33:12,145
Yeah, you want to go do French
on your girlfriend, Dylan?

739
00:33:12,147 --> 00:33:14,446
Megan! Leave him alone.

740
00:33:14,448 --> 00:33:16,849
And where did you learn
"do French"?

741
00:33:16,851 --> 00:33:17,852
I'll go talk to him.
742
00:33:21,023 --> 00:33:23,559
Dylan? You okay, buddy?

743
00:33:26,494 --> 00:33:29,430
I just... I don't get
the whole girls thing.

744
00:33:29,432 --> 00:33:30,597
Oh.

745
00:33:30,599 --> 00:33:33,232
Girls, yeah.
Yeah, that can be tricky.

746
00:33:33,234 --> 00:33:36,368
But you know who'd be really good
in explaining that department?

747
00:33:36,370 --> 00:33:37,704
Your dad. Let me go grab him.

748
00:33:37,706 --> 00:33:40,139
No, Brad! I just want to
talk to you about this.

749
00:33:40,141 --> 00:33:41,407
Just you, Brad, please?

750
00:33:41,409 --> 00:33:43,411
Me? You sure you don't want to
talk to your dad?

751
00:33:44,413 --> 00:33:46,846
Oh, well, girls. Okay.

752
00:33:46,848 --> 00:33:49,115
Huh. Um...

753
00:33:49,117 --> 00:33:50,319
All right, the girl talk.

754
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:54,053
You know, boys have a...

755
00:33:54,055 --> 00:33:56,956
A dingle, right? And girls have
a hoo-hoo or a whim-wham.

756
00:33:56,958 --> 00:33:59,492
- Brad, I already know about that stuff.
- You do?

757
00:33:59,494 --> 00:34:01,595
- Yes. From school, and it's gross.
- Perfect!

758
00:34:01,597 --> 00:34:04,330
I just want to know what to do
if I, you know,

759
00:34:04,332 --> 00:34:05,765
I like somebody.

760
00:34:05,767 --> 00:34:06,768
Right, well...

761
00:34:07,735 --> 00:34:09,501
You want to become
her friend first.

762
00:34:09,503 --> 00:34:11,737
You want to be that one
that she confides in,

763
00:34:11,739 --> 00:34:13,607
that she tells you
about all of her problems

764
00:34:13,609 --> 00:34:15,308
with the guys
she's actually dating.

765
00:34:15,310 --> 00:34:16,409
Got it.

766
00:34:16,411 --> 00:34:17,643
It's called the Friend Zone.

767
00:34:17,645 --> 00:34:21,447
And it's where
we Whitaker men thrive.
768
00:34:21,449 --> 00:34:24,483
We're the best in the biz.
Yeah.

769
00:34:24,485 --> 00:34:28,487
Here we are in a wild frontier,
full of majestic pines,

770
00:34:28,489 --> 00:34:30,324
and you two numb nuts are
sorting through

771
00:34:30,326 --> 00:34:32,826
a bunch of dried twigs
on a Rite Aid parking lot.

772
00:34:32,828 --> 00:34:34,960
You just can't go out on public
land and cut down a tree, Dad.

773
00:34:34,962 --> 00:34:38,030
Dusty, we are the public.
We own those trees.

774
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,869
Oh, I get it. You need to
ask co-dad for permission.

775
00:34:42,871 --> 00:34:44,971
Oh, shut up. I know what you're
trying to do.

776
00:34:44,973 --> 00:34:46,440
What am I doing?

777
00:34:46,442 --> 00:34:48,541
Make it look like I can't make a move
without checking in with Brad first.

778
00:34:48,543 --> 00:34:51,378
Yeah, that's what I'm doing.
Am I right about that?

779
00:34:51,380 --> 00:34:53,715
Oh, God.
780
00:34:56,784 --> 00:34:59,786
And we own the paint
in the Friend Zone.

781
00:34:59,788 --> 00:35:02,054
And sure we're gonna lose some.
Doesn't matter.

782
00:35:02,056 --> 00:35:04,123
We're gonna lose a lot,
I'll be frank with you.

783
00:35:04,125 --> 00:35:05,491
Well, what do you know?

784
00:35:05,493 --> 00:35:08,661
Brad's having that
nitty-gritty talk for you.

785
00:35:08,663 --> 00:35:11,797
Must be nice to have someone
to handle the tough stuff, huh?

786
00:35:11,799 --> 00:35:13,800
And eventually
you'll keep in touch.

787
00:35:13,802 --> 00:35:16,469
You might even be invited to
their wedding!

788
00:35:16,471 --> 00:35:18,637
And their dad's like,
"Brad, what are you doing here?

789
00:35:18,639 --> 00:35:21,141
"Teresa never talks about you!"

790
00:35:21,143 --> 00:35:22,775
And you're like, "I'm invited."

791
00:35:22,777 --> 00:35:25,212
And he's, "I wonder about that."

792
00:35:25,214 --> 00:35:26,813
And you show them the proof!
793
00:35:26,815 --> 00:35:28,782
Always bring the wedding invite
with you.

794
00:35:28,784 --> 00:35:30,916
- Then they can't kick you out.
- Okay.

795
00:35:30,918 --> 00:35:34,387
But you'll be sad ultimately
knowing that she's not with you,

796
00:35:34,389 --> 00:35:37,956
and you want to prepare yourself
with, like, a mixtape of sad songs.

797
00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:41,460
Anything from Chicago
is usually pretty good.

798
00:35:41,462 --> 00:35:44,197
<i>♪ If you leave me now</i>

799
00:35:44,199 --> 00:35:48,402
<i>♪ You take away the biggest
part of me</i>

800
00:35:48,404 --> 00:35:50,302
I don't really know that song.

801
00:35:50,304 --> 00:35:54,109
<i>♪ Ooh-wee, no, baby, please
don't go ♪</i>

802
00:35:54,942 --> 00:35:57,744
Wait! No, no, no! Dylan,

803
00:35:57,746 --> 00:35:59,980
that is the worst advice
anyone could give you.

804
00:35:59,982 --> 00:36:01,114
Listen to your dad, please.

805
00:36:01,116 --> 00:36:03,282
It's okay, Dad.
We don't have to talk about it.

806
00:36:03,284 --> 00:36:05,284
No, no, buddy, buddy, wait,
wait, look!

807
00:36:05,286 --> 00:36:07,186
Hey, this stuff is all about
confidence.

808
00:36:07,188 --> 00:36:09,623
You just got to believe you're
the best she's ever gonna find.

809
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:12,525
You believe that to your core, and
she will, too, I promise you.

810
00:36:12,527 --> 00:36:13,692
But what if she doesn't?

811
00:36:13,694 --> 00:36:16,161
Buddy, you can't be afraid
of rejection.

812
00:36:16,163 --> 00:36:17,396
You'll never find love

813
00:36:17,398 --> 00:36:19,264
if you're too scared to
put yourself out there.

814
00:36:19,266 --> 00:36:20,532
Hey, Goggles?

815
00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:21,867
Mistletoe is your ticket.

816
00:36:21,869 --> 00:36:24,438
You walk right up to her,
you dangle this over her head,

817
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:26,840
and then you slap your spaghetti
suckers right on her.
818
00:36:26,842 --> 00:36:28,273
I don't know if that's
appropriate.

819
00:36:28,275 --> 00:36:31,543
It's a time-honored holiday
tradition, Mr. War-On-Christmas.

820
00:36:31,545 --> 00:36:33,480
Then you give her a nice smack
on the caboose

821
00:36:33,482 --> 00:36:35,114
and tell her what a lucky girl
she is.

822
00:36:35,116 --> 00:36:37,183
- Don't listen to that part, all right?
- Yeah, don't listen to that part.

823
00:36:37,185 --> 00:36:38,585
Look at me. Look at me.

824
00:36:38,587 --> 00:36:39,985
You want to be like Brad
and be in the Friend Zone,

825
00:36:39,987 --> 00:36:41,554
or you wanna be Dad
and get in the end zone?

826
00:36:41,556 --> 00:36:43,288
This worked for me when I was
your age.

827
00:36:43,290 --> 00:36:44,626
You want to go for it, buddy?

828
00:36:46,161 --> 00:36:47,793
Come on, you can do this.

829
00:36:47,795 --> 00:36:53,002
<i>♪ A love like ours
is love that's hard to find</i>

830
00:36:56,003 --> 00:36:59,538
<i>♪ How could we let it
slip away? ♪</i>

831
00:36:59,540 --> 00:37:01,608
No! I like Brad's way more.

832
00:37:01,610 --> 00:37:04,547
I just want to be her friend
and listen to her problems!

833
00:37:12,388 --> 00:37:15,487
My tree, my tree,
my tree, my tree.

834
00:37:15,489 --> 00:37:16,655
My tree, my tree.

835
00:37:16,657 --> 00:37:17,724
Can I yell "Timber"?

836
00:37:17,726 --> 00:37:19,893
- Sure can, sweetheart.
- Yay!

837
00:37:19,895 --> 00:37:20,994
Is this okay?

838
00:37:20,996 --> 00:37:23,563
Are any of these trees
even gonna fit in the cabin?

839
00:37:23,565 --> 00:37:25,331
We're gonna cut off
the top 25 feet

840
00:37:25,333 --> 00:37:27,433
and chop the rest up for
firewood, Don.

841
00:37:27,435 --> 00:37:28,601
Oh.

842
00:37:28,603 --> 00:37:30,570
Now, this is the Duster Buster
I remember.

843
00:37:30,572 --> 00:37:34,507
A certified badass
that makes his own rules!

844
00:37:34,509 --> 00:37:36,712
Go find a good tree, would you?

845
00:37:37,645 --> 00:37:40,045
Boy, I don't know about this,
Kurt.

846
00:37:40,047 --> 00:37:42,782
Isn't it illegal to harvest
a tree from public lands?

847
00:37:42,784 --> 00:37:44,884
Oh, hell, yeah.
It's a federal crime.

848
00:37:44,886 --> 00:37:48,087
I tried to talk him out of it, but you
know how stubborn that kid can be.

849
00:37:48,089 --> 00:37:49,755
Okay.

850
00:37:49,757 --> 00:37:53,092
Dusty, look, I know you're upset
about Dylan, but I just...

851
00:37:53,094 --> 00:37:56,228
I told you, Brad, I'm not upset,
all right? We're co-dads!

852
00:37:56,230 --> 00:37:59,032
If he prefers your terrible
advice, fine, I'm cool with that.

853
00:37:59,034 --> 00:38:01,300
I just want to find the perfect
Together Christmas tree.

854
00:38:01,302 --> 00:38:03,203
Well, I just don't know if
it's the best choice, you know?

855
00:38:03,205 --> 00:38:07,172
Well, maybe we're not always gonna
do everything your way every time.

856
00:38:07,174 --> 00:38:08,375
Trouble in paradise, fellas?

857
00:38:08,377 --> 00:38:10,913
- No, we're picking a tree.
- Just having a conversation.

858
00:38:11,647 --> 00:38:13,648
El Padre!

859
00:38:13,982 --> 00:38:15,047
Lookit!

860
00:38:15,049 --> 00:38:17,683
Hey, what, kids?
What, you find a dead squirrel?

861
00:38:17,685 --> 00:38:19,386
We don't have to
do things my way.

862
00:38:19,388 --> 00:38:20,453
- Really?
- Yeah.

863
00:38:20,455 --> 00:38:22,054
What about baseball snack?

864
00:38:22,056 --> 00:38:23,790
I just wanted to give out Fruit
Roll-Ups, and what's the big deal?

865
00:38:23,792 --> 00:38:26,393
No, I just feel like organic
fruit is much more nutritious

866
00:38:26,395 --> 00:38:27,728
than its rolled-up counterpart.

867
00:38:27,730 --> 00:38:29,429
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

868
00:38:29,431 --> 00:38:31,431
And what about Megan's diorama? You
didn't want to use any of my ideas.

869
00:38:31,433 --> 00:38:32,831
Your only idea was
the Bay of Pigs!

870
00:38:32,833 --> 00:38:34,567
But it's an important event
in our nation's history!

871
00:38:34,569 --> 00:38:36,203
It was bloody.

872
00:38:36,205 --> 00:38:38,337
You wanted her to do green energy
so you could look Mr. Perfect Dad.

873
00:38:38,339 --> 00:38:40,806
- I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad.
- You act like Mr. Perfect Dad.

874
00:38:40,808 --> 00:38:42,007
I'm not Mr. Perfect Dad.

875
00:38:42,009 --> 00:38:43,442
And we don't have to do things
my way.

876
00:38:43,444 --> 00:38:45,147
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

877
00:38:46,748 --> 00:38:49,248
Okay. You don't think I can
operate a chainsaw, do you?

878
00:38:49,250 --> 00:38:53,085
Guess who got his woodlands
management badge in Webelos.

879
00:38:53,087 --> 00:38:55,621
I did! Brad Whitaker.

880
00:38:56,924 --> 00:38:58,224
Ah!
881
00:38:58,226 --> 00:39:02,164
Dusty, look at this one.
Perfectly symmetrical.

882
00:39:02,563 --> 00:39:03,799
Okay.

883
00:39:06,969 --> 00:39:08,400
Oh, yeah.

884
00:39:08,402 --> 00:39:10,270
Keep an eye out for rangers!

885
00:39:10,272 --> 00:39:14,507
I've got to pinpoint
a 60 degree angle top cut.

886
00:39:14,509 --> 00:39:17,012
That's what I'm gonna do first.

887
00:39:18,413 --> 00:39:20,315
Oh, yeah!
She's cutting like butter!

888
00:39:21,616 --> 00:39:23,719
Hey, Brad, isn't that a...

889
00:39:33,427 --> 00:39:34,663
Hold it, hold it!

890
00:39:35,563 --> 00:39:37,199
Timber!

891
00:39:39,168 --> 00:39:41,668
Wow!

892
00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:44,070
Brad, you cut down
a cell phone tower.

893
00:39:44,072 --> 00:39:46,072
Why'd you cut down
a cell phone tower?

894
00:39:46,074 --> 00:39:48,174
No bars? No bars?

895
00:39:50,878 --> 00:39:52,378
- That was excellent!
- Get up.

896
00:39:52,380 --> 00:39:54,512
- You really stuck that landing, man.
- Would you get up?

897
00:39:54,514 --> 00:39:56,282
I'd give you a 9.2 on my card.

898
00:39:56,284 --> 00:39:58,751
- Brad, get up.
- I think Brad's dead again.

899
00:39:58,753 --> 00:40:00,853
Man, you killed
the poor bastard!

900
00:40:00,855 --> 00:40:02,288
Brad, don't go into the light!

901
00:40:02,290 --> 00:40:04,857
It's okay, sweetheart.
El Padre will bring him back.

902
00:40:04,859 --> 00:40:06,525
- Stand clear.
- I got it, all right?

903
00:40:06,527 --> 00:40:08,126
It's your fault
we're even out here.

904
00:40:08,128 --> 00:40:10,230
You're getting in our heads and
starting static between me and Brad.

905
00:40:10,232 --> 00:40:12,898
There's plenty of static
between you and Brad already.

906
00:40:12,900 --> 00:40:15,668
And you know what? Deep down,
you want him dead, don't you?

907
00:40:15,670 --> 00:40:17,003
You can say it.

908
00:40:17,005 --> 00:40:19,072
We all want him dead. I want him dead.
Everybody does.

909
00:40:19,074 --> 00:40:20,540
- What?
- Come on, admit it.

910
00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:23,041
Why don't you admit why you
invited yourself to Christmas?

911
00:40:23,043 --> 00:40:24,576
Well, why don't you tell me,
smart guy?

912
00:40:24,578 --> 00:40:26,112
'Cause you knew I was back here
trying to be a good dad,

913
00:40:26,114 --> 00:40:28,246
be around for my kids
the way you never were for me.

914
00:40:28,248 --> 00:40:30,250
That's why you want to crap all
over it.

915
00:40:30,252 --> 00:40:31,654
Get up, Brad!

916
00:40:32,987 --> 00:40:34,520
Oh, my God, what happened?

917
00:40:34,522 --> 00:40:36,355
You cut down
a cell phone tower, Brad.

918
00:40:36,357 --> 00:40:37,791
You know, you're right.

919
00:40:37,793 --> 00:40:39,294
I did invite myself
to Christmas.

920
00:40:40,427 --> 00:40:41,864
But that's because you never do.

921
00:40:44,632 --> 00:40:46,799
I feel like I died again.
Did I die again?

922
00:40:46,801 --> 00:40:48,237
A little bit. Come on.

923
00:40:51,906 --> 00:40:53,840
Okay. Our report's
all squared away.

924
00:40:53,842 --> 00:40:55,574
Yimmy, Bill,
thank you guys so much

925
00:40:55,576 --> 00:40:57,076
for the understanding.
We really appreciate it.

926
00:40:57,078 --> 00:40:59,545
I'm so sorry.
I'm truly embarrassed.

927
00:40:59,547 --> 00:41:01,681
No, hey.
It was an honest mistake.

928
00:41:01,683 --> 00:41:03,181
Okay, you're all set.

929
00:41:03,183 --> 00:41:05,886
Okay, We'd better get back
to the site and lock it down.

930
00:41:05,888 --> 00:41:08,688
Hold on one second.

931
00:41:08,690 --> 00:41:11,724
Is there any way
we could do better than $20,000?
932
00:41:11,726 --> 00:41:14,293
Can't you reuse some
of the antenna equipment?

933
00:41:14,295 --> 00:41:17,896
Sorry, no. These old 4G units
are obsolete already.

934
00:41:17,898 --> 00:41:19,866
That's why you're getting
this one so cheap!

935
00:41:19,868 --> 00:41:21,768
- It looks really nice, though.
- It sure does.

936
00:41:21,770 --> 00:41:24,503
Hey, guys, keep it up, it looks
great. Happy Holidays.

937
00:41:24,505 --> 00:41:26,038
Happy Christmas, guys. Thanks.

938
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,375
Please tell me you did not just
spend $20,000 on a Christmas tree?

939
00:41:29,377 --> 00:41:32,114
Twenty thousand dollars.
"Can you hear me now?"

940
00:41:33,248 --> 00:41:34,483
You want some eggnog?

941
00:41:37,485 --> 00:41:39,451
- Mmm. Yummy.
- Hey!

942
00:41:39,453 --> 00:41:40,987
- I want some!
- Me, too!

943
00:41:40,989 --> 00:41:42,788
Now, girls,
that's a grown-up drink.
944
00:41:42,790 --> 00:41:44,757
Yes. Thank you, Karen.

945
00:41:44,759 --> 00:41:46,525
So we're only gonna have one.

946
00:41:46,527 --> 00:41:47,793
What? No, no, no!

947
00:41:47,795 --> 00:41:49,798
There's rum in there,
so not any.

948
00:41:50,165 --> 00:41:51,166
Aw!

949
00:41:52,801 --> 00:41:54,634
Are you writing about me?

950
00:41:54,636 --> 00:41:56,136
All right. Somebody want
to plug her in?

951
00:41:56,138 --> 00:41:57,339
Yeah, I got it.

952
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:00,375
Cool!

953
00:42:01,476 --> 00:42:03,045
That's weird.

954
00:42:05,746 --> 00:42:06,949
Wow!

955
00:42:22,663 --> 00:42:23,965
What do you think?

956
00:42:25,299 --> 00:42:26,632
It's so pretty.

957
00:42:26,634 --> 00:42:29,168
Well, it ought to be
at 1,200 bucks a foot.
958
00:42:29,170 --> 00:42:31,469
Dad, we're lighting the tree!

959
00:42:31,471 --> 00:42:32,505
Where's my dad?

960
00:42:32,507 --> 00:42:34,607
Yeah, I thought it was
a little quiet around here.

961
00:42:34,609 --> 00:42:36,175
- Pop-Pop?
- Don?

962
00:42:36,177 --> 00:42:37,212
Pop-Pop?

963
00:42:38,346 --> 00:42:39,815
Is he still outside?

964
00:42:42,817 --> 00:42:44,852
Dad!

965
00:42:45,619 --> 00:42:47,089
Dad?

966
00:42:48,123 --> 00:42:49,191
Dad?

967
00:42:49,757 --> 00:42:51,391
Brad!

968
00:42:51,393 --> 00:42:53,159
Dad! Where are you?

969
00:42:53,161 --> 00:42:55,628
- I found him! Where are you?
- I don't know.

970
00:42:55,630 --> 00:42:57,529
- Are you hurt?
- Oh, no, no!

971
00:42:57,531 --> 00:43:00,433
No, I just can't quite get up.
972
00:43:00,435 --> 00:43:01,866
Oh!

973
00:43:01,868 --> 00:43:03,503
Dad, don't move.

974
00:43:03,505 --> 00:43:05,337
There's a pack of wolves on you.

975
00:43:05,339 --> 00:43:07,239
- Is that what it is?
- Yeah.

976
00:43:07,241 --> 00:43:09,507
I can feel something
tugging at my trousers.

977
00:43:09,509 --> 00:43:12,279
- What color are they, Brad?
- They're gray wolves.

978
00:43:12,281 --> 00:43:14,480
That'll be <i>Canis lupus.</i>
They're dangerous.

979
00:43:14,482 --> 00:43:17,049
Really? They look like you
could just reach out and pet them.

980
00:43:17,051 --> 00:43:18,451
I kind of want to pet them, Dad.

981
00:43:18,453 --> 00:43:21,221
Now, Brad. Don't make eye
contact with the alpha wolf.

982
00:43:21,223 --> 00:43:23,688
I already did!
Right in the eyes.

983
00:43:23,690 --> 00:43:25,190
Don't show any fear.

984
00:43:25,192 --> 00:43:27,293
I don't want to watch the wolves
eat you!

985
00:43:27,295 --> 00:43:29,496
Breathe deep
and pull yourself together.

986
00:43:29,498 --> 00:43:31,030
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

987
00:43:31,032 --> 00:43:32,034
Hut!

988
00:43:34,235 --> 00:43:36,034
Hut! Hurt!

989
00:43:36,036 --> 00:43:37,804
Are you saying "hut" or "hurt"?

990
00:43:37,806 --> 00:43:39,304
Dad, what happened?

991
00:43:39,306 --> 00:43:42,608
You know, I saw the nicest tree
a ways off,

992
00:43:42,610 --> 00:43:44,710
and I got a little off course.

993
00:43:44,712 --> 00:43:47,813
I tried to call you, but all of
a sudden my signal dropped!

994
00:43:47,815 --> 00:43:48,880
Really?

995
00:43:48,882 --> 00:43:50,116
I tried to find my way back,

996
00:43:50,118 --> 00:43:53,085
but at some point I lost
consciousness.

997
00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:56,556
That's about when the wolves
must have come across me.
998
00:43:56,558 --> 00:43:57,790
It's all right, fellas.

999
00:43:57,792 --> 00:43:59,927
You didn't have to go to any
trouble. It's all good.

1000
00:44:05,799 --> 00:44:08,833
I'm sorry for all the hugs.

1001
00:44:08,835 --> 00:44:10,302
I kind of don't want to let go.

1002
00:44:10,304 --> 00:44:13,505
I almost thought I'd lost you
out there to those nasty wolves.

1003
00:44:13,507 --> 00:44:15,474
Do you have any idea
how much I love you?

1004
00:44:15,476 --> 00:44:19,045
Well, of course I do.
You tweet about it every day.

1005
00:44:19,047 --> 00:44:21,715
You know how much I love you,
too, don't you?

1006
00:44:21,717 --> 00:44:24,319
Your answer is right in here.

1007
00:44:24,987 --> 00:44:26,518
I can see it!

1008
00:44:27,755 --> 00:44:30,090
Okay, now that everyone is
accounted for,

1009
00:44:30,092 --> 00:44:33,826
can we please talk about who is
paying for that monstrosity?

1010
00:44:33,828 --> 00:44:36,695
Well, you know, it was Dusty's
idea to cut down the tree.
1011
00:44:36,697 --> 00:44:39,364
Yeah, and it was your idea to cut
down the cell phone tower, Brad.

1012
00:44:39,366 --> 00:44:41,699
Great, so as per usual
we get stuck paying.

1013
00:44:41,701 --> 00:44:44,070
- Wait, what does that mean?
- I think it's a nice tree.

1014
00:44:44,072 --> 00:44:46,038
I don't know. Dylan's retainer?
Megan's flute?

1015
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,074
What about Tae Kwon Do
that you signed them up for

1016
00:44:48,076 --> 00:44:49,407
and didn't even ask us about?

1017
00:44:49,409 --> 00:44:51,978
Yes, and who paid for the trip
to the aquarium last week?

1018
00:44:51,980 --> 00:44:53,212
It's a really nice tree.

1019
00:44:53,214 --> 00:44:54,947
So now we're keeping score, huh?

1020
00:44:54,949 --> 00:44:57,016
Well, who paid for the parking and
bought each one of them a blowup orca?

1021
00:44:57,018 --> 00:44:59,152
After we told them they
couldn't have a blowup orca!

1022
00:44:59,154 --> 00:45:01,353
Yeah, because you were too cheap
to buy them a blowup orca!

1023
00:45:01,355 --> 00:45:03,755
Who crushed my car with a snow
blower? You did, Brad.

1024
00:45:03,757 --> 00:45:05,056
Who crushed my car
with a motorcycle?

1025
00:45:05,058 --> 00:45:06,391
Hello! You again!

1026
00:45:06,393 --> 00:45:07,259
Hey!

1027
00:45:07,261 --> 00:45:08,726
It's a beautiful tree!

1028
00:45:08,728 --> 00:45:11,230
It's beautiful, all right?

1029
00:45:11,232 --> 00:45:13,502
Okay, yeah. Dad's right.

1030
00:45:14,502 --> 00:45:16,103
It's a beautiful tree.

1031
00:45:17,871 --> 00:45:19,739
Whoa!

1032
00:45:19,741 --> 00:45:22,708
Don, I'm sorry, I don't think I'm
gonna be able to save the foot.

1033
00:45:22,710 --> 00:45:23,909
Yeah, that baby's coming off.

1034
00:45:23,911 --> 00:45:25,811
I'll need some morphine
and a bread knife.

1035
00:45:25,813 --> 00:45:27,179
Brad, hold him down.

1036
00:45:27,181 --> 00:45:29,315
Oh, no.
That's just my feet.
1037
00:45:29,317 --> 00:45:31,382
It's the mail carrier's curse.

1038
00:45:31,384 --> 00:45:33,719
Back when I used to
sleep with your mom,

1039
00:45:33,721 --> 00:45:38,224
I once scratched her leg so bad
with a piece of rogue heel skin,

1040
00:45:38,226 --> 00:45:39,893
it actually drew blood.

1041
00:45:39,895 --> 00:45:42,297
What do you mean,
used to sleep with Ginny?

1042
00:45:42,596 --> 00:45:44,295
What?

1043
00:45:44,297 --> 00:45:47,366
Oh. We sleep
in separate bedrooms.

1044
00:45:47,368 --> 00:45:50,503
You know how badly I snore,
Brad.

1045
00:45:50,505 --> 00:45:52,471
Boy, that is inspiring!

1046
00:45:52,473 --> 00:45:56,544
You know? The way you're always so
considerate to the other person.

1047
00:45:57,279 --> 00:45:58,944
Ugh.

1048
00:45:58,946 --> 00:46:01,148
I really want to take
this foot off.

1049
00:46:10,458 --> 00:46:11,657
Hey, sweetie.
1050
00:46:11,659 --> 00:46:13,192
You know, you might want to
close your window.

1051
00:46:13,194 --> 00:46:14,661
You know, since it's winter?

1052
00:46:14,663 --> 00:46:16,029
You're not my dad.

1053
00:46:16,031 --> 00:46:18,364
You know, I appreciate you reminding
me of that every few hours.

1054
00:46:18,366 --> 00:46:19,665
But, you know,
we're not the only people here,

1055
00:46:19,667 --> 00:46:22,501
so maybe we set the thermostat
to like 75?

1056
00:46:22,503 --> 00:46:24,704
I mean, that's still really
toasty, right?

1057
00:46:24,706 --> 00:46:25,737
85.

1058
00:46:25,739 --> 00:46:28,940
Okay, well, what if I counter
you at like 78?

1059
00:46:28,942 --> 00:46:31,476
And then you negotiate with me,
you come back at like 83,

1060
00:46:31,478 --> 00:46:33,145
and then maybe we settle
at like 80.

1061
00:46:33,147 --> 00:46:34,846
- What do you say to that?
- 81.

1062
00:46:34,848 --> 00:46:36,315
Deal!

1063
00:46:36,317 --> 00:46:38,717
Look at that. The two of us
are starting to see eye to eye.

1064
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:40,353
Thank you, sweetie.

1065
00:46:40,355 --> 00:46:41,621
Thank God.

1066
00:46:41,623 --> 00:46:44,590
There's Brad with some makeup
cocoa for being such a jerk.

1067
00:46:44,592 --> 00:46:46,159
Thank you.

1068
00:46:46,161 --> 00:46:48,795
- Brad! What are you doing?
- Oh, God.

1069
00:46:50,065 --> 00:46:51,931
- Why would you do that?
- Look what you made me do!

1070
00:46:51,933 --> 00:46:53,366
- I didn't do anything.
- I didn't make you do it!

1071
00:46:53,368 --> 00:46:54,666
I thought you were bringing me
hot makeup cocoa

1072
00:46:54,668 --> 00:46:56,134
and you just, like,
threw it all over yourself.

1073
00:46:56,136 --> 00:46:57,436
You almost burned me, Brad!

1074
00:46:57,438 --> 00:46:59,672
- I wasn't bringing you makeup cocoa.
- Why not?
1075
00:46:59,674 --> 00:47:01,407
I would've said, "Here, bud,
here's some makeup cocoa."

1076
00:47:01,409 --> 00:47:03,576
- I've been waiting for my makeup cocoa.
- I didn't know that!

1077
00:47:03,578 --> 00:47:06,148
If I knew you wanted makeup
cocoa, I would've...

1078
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:07,614
81!

1079
00:47:07,616 --> 00:47:08,547
No, no, don't touch that!

1080
00:47:08,549 --> 00:47:09,715
I talked her down
from the high 80s.

1081
00:47:09,717 --> 00:47:11,483
I'm making progress with her.
This is good.

1082
00:47:11,485 --> 00:47:12,918
I thought you had
your house in order.

1083
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:14,154
Look, don't you see?

1084
00:47:14,156 --> 00:47:15,554
We're doing exactly
what he wants.

1085
00:47:15,556 --> 00:47:16,855
We're letting things
out of the harbor!

1086
00:47:16,857 --> 00:47:18,157
- So you are harboring.
- Of course I'm harboring!

1087
00:47:18,159 --> 00:47:19,491
And so are you.

1088
00:47:19,493 --> 00:47:21,594
Harboring was working just fine
before he showed up.

1089
00:47:21,596 --> 00:47:23,195
Let's get everything
back in the harbor

1090
00:47:23,197 --> 00:47:25,764
and let's harbor it all back
in and close up the harbor.

1091
00:47:25,766 --> 00:47:26,933
I don't know if I can!

1092
00:47:26,935 --> 00:47:28,800
Remember you said let's put the
focus back on the kids?

1093
00:47:28,802 --> 00:47:30,471
That was a great idea!

1094
00:47:31,404 --> 00:47:34,672
- Fine. Harbor's closed.
- Good.

1095
00:47:34,674 --> 00:47:36,742
But we're going halfsies
on the cell tower.

1096
00:47:36,744 --> 00:47:38,545
Fine, halfsies
on the cell tower.

1097
00:47:38,547 --> 00:47:40,215
Brad, are you okay?

1098
00:47:41,616 --> 00:47:42,648
Yeah.

1099
00:47:42,650 --> 00:47:45,217
- Did you make tee-tee in bed?
- No, it's cocoa.

1100
00:47:45,219 --> 00:47:47,186
Did your cocoa make you tee-tee
in bed?

1101
00:47:47,188 --> 00:47:48,753
You're sleepwalking.
Go back to sleep.

1102
00:47:48,755 --> 00:47:51,525
The big boy doesn't
have to be embarrassed.

1103
00:47:54,027 --> 00:47:56,098
How would I pee upwards?

1104
00:48:00,601 --> 00:48:01,869
7 and a half. 13.

1105
00:48:10,177 --> 00:48:11,311
- Pretty good.
- Yeah.

1106
00:48:11,313 --> 00:48:12,478
Better than before.

1107
00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:14,182
Yeah, the skip was really cool.

1108
00:48:15,616 --> 00:48:18,418
Hey. Do you mind?
Bowler's etiquette.

1109
00:48:18,420 --> 00:48:20,451
- What do you mean?
- It means you're crowding me.

1110
00:48:20,453 --> 00:48:22,356
What? You can't bowl
with me here?

1111
00:48:26,060 --> 00:48:27,328
That sounded like a strike.

1112
00:48:33,768 --> 00:48:35,237
How's your hearing?

1113
00:48:36,371 --> 00:48:38,438
- Dylan, come on, buddy, you're up!
- All right.

1114
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,273
Let's go. Hey, come on.
You can do this, okay?

1115
00:48:41,275 --> 00:48:43,942
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What's with the kiddie stuff?

1116
00:48:43,944 --> 00:48:45,244
- What? The rails?
- Yeah.

1117
00:48:45,246 --> 00:48:47,045
It's how the kids
learn how to bowl, Dad.

1118
00:48:47,047 --> 00:48:48,915
You learn by fearing the gutter.

1119
00:48:48,917 --> 00:48:50,616
Like in life, Dusty.

1120
00:48:50,618 --> 00:48:54,286
Now, Kurt. The rails help a young
bowler build a positive self-image.

1121
00:48:54,288 --> 00:48:57,255
Dylan, come here.

1122
00:48:57,257 --> 00:48:59,190
Do you want to bowl
with those sissy rails up,

1123
00:48:59,192 --> 00:49:01,595
or do you want to stand
and bowl like a man?

1124
00:49:02,864 --> 00:49:04,163
I don't need the rails,
I guess.

1125
00:49:04,165 --> 00:49:05,463
Attaboy! I'm proud of you, kid.
1126
00:49:05,465 --> 00:49:07,366
Hey, I'm proud of you too,
big guy, all right?

1127
00:49:07,368 --> 00:49:09,302
Dylan's going
without the rails.

1128
00:49:09,304 --> 00:49:11,770
No rails?
Whoo! All right, Dylan!

1129
00:49:11,772 --> 00:49:14,105
Don't be afraid
to release it high.

1130
00:49:14,107 --> 00:49:15,376
Here we go.

1131
00:49:16,310 --> 00:49:17,944
Good try.

1132
00:49:17,946 --> 00:49:20,445
When he's up there with the tears and
"I suck at everything" business,

1133
00:49:20,447 --> 00:49:22,280
that's on you, Mr. School of
Hard Knocks.

1134
00:49:22,282 --> 00:49:23,882
Hey, better than him
living in your basement

1135
00:49:23,884 --> 00:49:25,453
in 20 years, Mr. Sissy Rails.

1136
00:49:29,424 --> 00:49:30,889
Come on, buddy.
Give it another shot.

1137
00:49:30,891 --> 00:49:32,927
Okay. New start, new beginning.
Here we go.

1138
00:49:38,132 --> 00:49:39,433
Yay!

1139
00:49:40,902 --> 00:49:42,270
Oh, yeah.

1140
00:49:53,114 --> 00:49:55,681
Are we certain he understands
the game?

1141
00:49:55,683 --> 00:49:58,284
He seems to almost be
trying to put it in the gutter.

1142
00:49:58,286 --> 00:49:59,955
I know. He needs to get
more height on the ball.

1143
00:50:15,668 --> 00:50:18,639
I hate this frickin' game!
It's so frickin' stupid!

1144
00:50:20,206 --> 00:50:21,773
Hey, everybody, check it out!

1145
00:50:21,775 --> 00:50:23,808
This kid's about to bowl
a perfect zero.

1146
00:50:23,810 --> 00:50:24,812
Hey, mind your business!

1147
00:50:26,913 --> 00:50:29,213
Hey, how do you think this is gonna
make him feel about himself?

1148
00:50:29,215 --> 00:50:31,083
Well, this is character
building.

1149
00:50:31,085 --> 00:50:33,085
Even the ridicule.

1150
00:50:33,087 --> 00:50:34,721
- Come on, bud.
- Come on, Dylan!
1151
00:50:34,723 --> 00:50:37,021
It's okay.

1152
00:50:37,023 --> 00:50:38,891
I suck at everything!

1153
00:50:38,893 --> 00:50:40,962
I quit, I quit!

1154
00:50:41,763 --> 00:50:44,366
Hey. Hey, kid, listen.

1155
00:50:46,134 --> 00:50:49,302
We Mayron men might not always
show up.

1156
00:50:49,304 --> 00:50:51,369
I mean, we want to show up,
we intend to,

1157
00:50:51,371 --> 00:50:53,371
but sometimes,
we get trashed the night before,

1158
00:50:53,373 --> 00:50:54,840
or we wreck a speedboat,

1159
00:50:54,842 --> 00:50:57,576
or hook up with
some Emirates flight attendants

1160
00:50:57,578 --> 00:51:00,581
and somehow end up on a redeye
to Dubai.

1161
00:51:01,148 --> 00:51:02,648
You know what I mean.

1162
00:51:02,650 --> 00:51:04,683
The point is, we may not always
show up,

1163
00:51:04,685 --> 00:51:07,719
but when we do, we finish what
we start.
1164
00:51:07,721 --> 00:51:09,990
Now you get up there and grab
those balls.

1165
00:51:15,529 --> 00:51:16,831
Come on, you got this.

1166
00:51:25,605 --> 00:51:27,105
Go, bro!

1167
00:51:27,107 --> 00:51:28,976
I'll take that.

1168
00:51:29,743 --> 00:51:30,844
I'll cover that.

1169
00:51:33,281 --> 00:51:34,849
Come on, honey!

1170
00:51:35,884 --> 00:51:37,918
- Come on, buddy.
- You can do it, kid.

1171
00:51:50,732 --> 00:51:52,333
Please. Please.

1172
00:52:08,382 --> 00:52:09,584
Whoo! I did it!

1173
00:52:11,886 --> 00:52:14,286
Thanks for believing in me,
El Padre!

1174
00:52:14,288 --> 00:52:17,125
You bet, buddy! I knew you had
it in you!

1175
00:52:19,159 --> 00:52:21,696
You're a winner!
You're a winner!

1176
00:52:23,697 --> 00:52:24,699
I did it!

1177
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:33,706
Hey, where were you guys?

1178
00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:35,074
We're almost at
the front of the line here.

1179
00:52:35,076 --> 00:52:37,775
We were at the Starbucks
checking out the local talent.

1180
00:52:37,777 --> 00:52:40,279
Cute little number at the next
table was giving this one the eye.

1181
00:52:40,281 --> 00:52:43,215
And El Padre got a phone number
from the lady who made the coffees.

1182
00:52:43,217 --> 00:52:44,916
We got free ones!

1183
00:52:46,888 --> 00:52:49,855
- I drink coffee now.
- What? Get in here.

1184
00:52:49,857 --> 00:52:50,857
Big jump!

1185
00:52:50,859 --> 00:52:53,358
Welcome to the North Pole!

1186
00:52:56,063 --> 00:52:58,931
Hey, honey, are you sure you don't
want to go see Santa with the boys?

1187
00:52:58,933 --> 00:53:00,534
You were so excited.

1188
00:53:02,270 --> 00:53:04,572
Mom, Santa is so lame.

1189
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:07,708
- Come on.
- He can hear you, you know!

1190
00:53:09,409 --> 00:53:11,876
You know, I'm sorry...

1191
00:53:11,878 --> 00:53:15,348
My daughter thinks that
your daughter is amazing.

1192
00:53:15,350 --> 00:53:17,118
Oh, that's sweet.

1193
00:53:18,351 --> 00:53:20,453
Which is cute, you're right,

1194
00:53:20,455 --> 00:53:22,954
but sometimes when Adrianna
does certain things,

1195
00:53:22,956 --> 00:53:25,993
then Megan thinks that it's okay
to do it because you said that...

1196
00:53:31,197 --> 00:53:32,931
Oh, my God.

1197
00:53:32,933 --> 00:53:34,699
Are you really stealing
right now?

1198
00:53:34,701 --> 00:53:36,500
Sometimes I shoplift
a little bit.

1199
00:53:36,502 --> 00:53:38,804
It's exciting!

1200
00:53:38,806 --> 00:53:41,607
No! I mean... Okay, yeah,
it's a little exciting.

1201
00:53:41,609 --> 00:53:43,507
My heart's really beating
out of my chest.

1202
00:53:43,509 --> 00:53:45,643
What if we get caught?
You got to put it back!

1203
00:53:45,645 --> 00:53:46,878
You're so obedient.

1204
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:48,780
You're always following
the rules, you know.

1205
00:53:48,782 --> 00:53:49,681
Come on, Sara.

1206
00:53:49,683 --> 00:53:51,150
Have a little fun with me.
Relax.

1207
00:53:51,152 --> 00:53:53,186
I mean, I would love
to have a little fun with you,

1208
00:53:53,188 --> 00:53:55,820
but I just want you to know,
I am not obedient, okay?

1209
00:53:55,822 --> 00:53:58,456
- Then put this in your pants.
- No. No, thank you.

1210
00:53:58,458 --> 00:54:00,726
And don't touch my boobs.
It's weird.

1211
00:54:00,728 --> 00:54:03,329
Stop it!
I'm not going to shoplift!

1212
00:54:03,331 --> 00:54:05,297
- Why not?
- Because...

1213
00:54:05,299 --> 00:54:07,366
Because you're about to see why.

1214
00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:08,967
- Pardon me, miss?
- Yes?

1215
00:54:08,969 --> 00:54:11,136
- Is this woman bothering you?
- What?

1216
00:54:11,138 --> 00:54:15,007
She's a little judgmental,
but she's fine. Thank you.

1217
00:54:15,009 --> 00:54:16,543
No worries.

1218
00:54:24,185 --> 00:54:25,784
Welcome to the North Pole!

1219
00:54:25,786 --> 00:54:27,953
And what do you want for
Christmas?

1220
00:54:34,228 --> 00:54:35,661
Oh, I didn't miss it. Hi!

1221
00:54:35,663 --> 00:54:37,929
Right there.
This is a great shot.

1222
00:54:37,931 --> 00:54:40,465
- Are you getting it, honey?
- Yeah, I got a good one.

1223
00:54:40,467 --> 00:54:41,836
That's a great shot.

1224
00:54:42,402 --> 00:54:43,501
Thank you, Santa.

1225
00:54:43,503 --> 00:54:44,837
- You're welcome!
- Hi, honey.

1226
00:54:44,839 --> 00:54:46,337
What about you, big brother?

1227
00:54:46,339 --> 00:54:49,074
I'm sure you've been good.
What's on your list?

1228
00:54:49,076 --> 00:54:51,110
I kind of want
1229
00:54:51,112 --> 00:54:52,511
a 20-gauge shotgun,

1230
00:54:52,513 --> 00:54:54,246
so I can go turkey hunting
with my El Padre!

1231
00:54:54,248 --> 00:54:55,913
What the heck?
Where'd he come up with that?

1232
00:54:55,915 --> 00:54:57,148
Did he just ask for a firearm?

1233
00:54:57,150 --> 00:54:59,317
Sure did! 20-gauge. Kid knows
his guns.

1234
00:54:59,319 --> 00:55:01,152
Kurt, we've already been through
this. Dusty and I...

1235
00:55:01,154 --> 00:55:03,154
Yeah, it is final. That's it.
It's not happening.

1236
00:55:03,156 --> 00:55:05,324
Really? Because I don't remember
being part of that discussion.

1237
00:55:05,326 --> 00:55:08,994
Or am I just some little obedient wife
who does whatever the men folk say?

1238
00:55:08,996 --> 00:55:11,096
Yeah, that doesn't seem quite
fair to me.

1239
00:55:11,098 --> 00:55:11,963
Oh, piss off, Kurt.

1240
00:55:11,965 --> 00:55:13,965
Honey, he's talking about a gun.

1241
00:55:13,967 --> 00:55:16,668
If I may, can I just

1242
00:55:16,670 --> 00:55:20,072
have a word with my grandson?

1243
00:55:20,074 --> 00:55:23,775
I just want you to fully
understand what you're asking for.

1244
00:55:23,777 --> 00:55:27,279
To take a gun into the
wilderness,

1245
00:55:27,281 --> 00:55:29,848
find an animal living free,

1246
00:55:29,850 --> 00:55:32,050
and take away its life.

1247
00:55:32,052 --> 00:55:34,154
So that it can never
breathe or run

1248
00:55:35,089 --> 00:55:37,922
or play ever again.

1249
00:55:37,924 --> 00:55:40,025
Now, is that
what you really want?

1250
00:55:40,027 --> 00:55:41,759
Yes.

1251
00:55:41,761 --> 00:55:44,262
- No. I don't want to do that.
- Ah.

1252
00:55:44,264 --> 00:55:46,398
You have a good heart, Dylan.

1253
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:48,266
I'll do it! I'll kill a turkey!

1254
00:55:48,268 --> 00:55:50,003
Can I shoot one? Please?
1255
00:55:51,038 --> 00:55:53,304
I'll have one shotgun, please,
Santa.

1256
00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:55,107
And gobs and gobs of bullets.

1257
00:55:55,109 --> 00:55:57,275
No, no, no, cupcake.
No, I'm sorry.

1258
00:55:57,277 --> 00:56:01,215
No, the men do the hunting.
You ladies cook what we kill.

1259
00:56:01,581 --> 00:56:02,784
Excuse me?

1260
00:56:04,351 --> 00:56:06,351
Yeah, excuse you?

1261
00:56:06,353 --> 00:56:08,353
Here, turkey, turkey, turkey!

1262
00:56:08,355 --> 00:56:09,587
Be patient, sweetheart.

1263
00:56:09,589 --> 00:56:10,822
The decoys are right
around the corner.

1264
00:56:10,824 --> 00:56:12,123
This is nice, huh, Dust?

1265
00:56:12,125 --> 00:56:14,893
You and me, the fresh air.
Just like old times.

1266
00:56:14,895 --> 00:56:16,360
What do you mean
"just like old times"?

1267
00:56:16,362 --> 00:56:17,663
You only took me once, Dad.

1268
00:56:17,665 --> 00:56:18,831
Jeez, I don't know.

1269
00:56:18,833 --> 00:56:20,866
Are you sure this is a good
idea, Sara?

1270
00:56:20,868 --> 00:56:22,800
Megan is a strong
independent woman.

1271
00:56:22,802 --> 00:56:24,904
If she wants to help thin
the wild turkey population

1272
00:56:24,906 --> 00:56:27,105
so that they don't starve to
death in the winter,

1273
00:56:27,107 --> 00:56:28,808
that is her right
by the Second Amendment.

1274
00:56:28,810 --> 00:56:30,808
Boy, you bought into
that real quick.

1275
00:56:30,810 --> 00:56:32,344
I mean, I think for Megan,

1276
00:56:32,346 --> 00:56:34,846
this is less about wildlife
conservation and more about bloodlust.

1277
00:56:34,848 --> 00:56:37,882
Looks like somebody picked
the wrong day to be a turkey.

1278
00:56:37,884 --> 00:56:40,552
Keep your elbow down
and cradle the stock, okay.

1279
00:56:40,554 --> 00:56:41,619
Yeah, I get it.

1280
00:56:41,621 --> 00:56:43,288
Can I shoot the damn thing
or not?

1281
00:56:43,290 --> 00:56:44,889
Yeah, that's the spirit.

1282
00:56:44,891 --> 00:56:46,491
Take a deep breath,

1283
00:56:46,493 --> 00:56:49,964
and then squeeze that trigger
as you're letting it out.

1284
00:56:51,232 --> 00:56:53,197
Megan, are you sure
this is what you want to do?

1285
00:56:53,199 --> 00:56:55,000
Let's name it.

1286
00:56:55,002 --> 00:56:56,735
She's not gonna kill it if it
has a name.

1287
00:56:56,737 --> 00:56:59,471
- Yes! Gertrude.
- Sam? Tom?

1288
00:56:59,473 --> 00:57:00,804
Billie Holiday! No.

1289
00:57:00,806 --> 00:57:02,206
- Elijah.
- Elijah!

1290
00:57:02,208 --> 00:57:04,143
- Elijah, run home!
- Stand your ground, kid.

1291
00:57:04,145 --> 00:57:05,009
Save yourself, Elijah!

1292
00:57:05,011 --> 00:57:06,311
Take the shot, kid.
Take the shot.

1293
00:57:06,313 --> 00:57:07,512
No, Elijah has feelings!

1294
00:57:07,514 --> 00:57:08,780
Take the shot!

1295
00:57:10,618 --> 00:57:11,886
Oh, God!

1296
00:57:12,252 --> 00:57:13,317
Dad!

1297
00:57:13,319 --> 00:57:15,621
Oh, my God. Honey, are you okay?

1298
00:57:15,623 --> 00:57:16,688
- Kurt!
- Dad, Dad, are you all right?

1299
00:57:16,690 --> 00:57:18,056
I'm okay. She just winged me.

1300
00:57:18,058 --> 00:57:19,625
I'm sorry, El Padre! I'm sorry.

1301
00:57:19,627 --> 00:57:22,226
That's okay, kid. I've been shot
worse than this plenty of times.

1302
00:57:22,228 --> 00:57:23,996
Make your scarf
into a tourniquet.

1303
00:57:23,998 --> 00:57:25,764
Wrap it around his shoulder.

1304
00:57:25,766 --> 00:57:27,264
Lift his legs!

1305
00:57:27,266 --> 00:57:29,436
- You'll be fine, sweetheart.
- I'm gonna bleed out.

1306
00:57:37,143 --> 00:57:38,376
Wow.

1307
00:57:38,378 --> 00:57:39,610
Two for two.

1308
00:57:39,612 --> 00:57:40,880
Makes getting shot worth it.

1309
00:57:40,882 --> 00:57:42,581
Get the birds, Brad.

1310
00:57:42,583 --> 00:57:44,782
God! I don't know
who this child is.

1311
00:57:44,784 --> 00:57:46,253
You get that one.

1312
00:57:54,728 --> 00:57:56,695
What? I know, okay?

1313
00:57:56,697 --> 00:57:58,831
It's on me.
I'm the worst mom in the world.

1314
00:57:58,833 --> 00:58:02,800
I put a gun in my daughter's hand,
and then she nearly killed somebody.

1315
00:58:02,802 --> 00:58:05,105
She's gonna be scarred for life.

1316
00:58:05,639 --> 00:58:06,771
Hi!

1317
00:58:06,773 --> 00:58:08,773
I just shot a turkey and a man.

1318
00:58:08,775 --> 00:58:10,478
Guess which one's dead.

1319
00:58:15,214 --> 00:58:18,282
Okay, fine, maybe
she's a little too unscarred.

1320
00:58:18,284 --> 00:58:19,319
Jeez.
1321
00:58:24,056 --> 00:58:25,690
- You all right?
- Yeah, good.

1322
00:58:25,692 --> 00:58:28,326
All right. So, listen, the doctor said
everything is gonna be all right.

1323
00:58:28,328 --> 00:58:30,329
He just wants to keep you
for a couple of hours

1324
00:58:30,331 --> 00:58:31,496
to watch your blood pressure.

1325
00:58:31,498 --> 00:58:33,065
I'm fine. Where's my pants?

1326
00:58:33,067 --> 00:58:35,000
Hey. I forgot. Nothing ever
hurts you.

1327
00:58:35,002 --> 00:58:36,567
Why don't we just round up all
the nurses?

1328
00:58:36,569 --> 00:58:37,670
We can bring them in here.

1329
00:58:37,672 --> 00:58:38,871
You could do some
pushups for them,

1330
00:58:38,873 --> 00:58:40,038
maybe bench press the couch
a little bit,

1331
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:41,273
prove you're still a tough guy.

1332
00:58:41,275 --> 00:58:43,608
Still tough enough to lick you, Junior.

1333
00:58:43,610 --> 00:58:44,875
- Was that a scoff?
- I didn't scoff.
1334
00:58:44,877 --> 00:58:46,143
Yeah, I heard you scoff just
then.

1335
00:58:46,145 --> 00:58:47,378
All right, I scoffed. So what?

1336
00:58:47,380 --> 00:58:49,081
Why, because you think
you can lick me, right?

1337
00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:50,882
I never said I could lick you,
but I could whoop you for sure.

1338
00:58:50,884 --> 00:58:52,050
Now we're talking!

1339
00:58:52,052 --> 00:58:53,485
Come on. Best out of three
falls, come on.

1340
00:58:53,487 --> 00:58:55,052
Hey, cut it out, okay? I'm not
gonna wrestle an old man

1341
00:58:55,054 --> 00:58:56,889
whose ass is hanging out
of his hospital gown.

1342
00:58:56,891 --> 00:58:58,223
Greco-Roman style. Best way.
Come on.

1343
00:58:58,225 --> 00:59:00,558
Hey, Great Santini, I'm not
gonna do this, all right?

1344
00:59:00,560 --> 00:59:02,328
- Cut it out. Get some rest.
- All right.

1345
00:59:02,330 --> 00:59:03,929
Hey!

1346
00:59:03,931 --> 00:59:05,963
That's one, candy-ass.

1347
00:59:05,965 --> 00:59:07,733
Now you're gonna get whipped,
old man.

1348
00:59:07,735 --> 00:59:09,003
Come on. Bring it on.

1349
00:59:13,973 --> 00:59:16,574
- Tap out!
- Nah. I can keep going all night, kid.

1350
00:59:16,576 --> 00:59:18,911
You hear that heart rate?
You can set your watch to it.

1351
00:59:18,913 --> 00:59:20,813
Yeah. 'Cause ice water
only flows at one speed, huh?

1352
00:59:20,815 --> 00:59:22,581
That's right, pal.
Now go to sleep.

1353
00:59:22,583 --> 00:59:25,253
You know I came in to say something
nice, but now you can forget it.

1354
00:59:25,853 --> 00:59:27,186
What nice thing?

1355
00:59:27,188 --> 00:59:28,320
No. Forget it.

1356
00:59:28,322 --> 00:59:30,621
You know,
when that gun went off,

1357
00:59:30,623 --> 00:59:31,790
I thought you were a goner.

1358
00:59:31,792 --> 00:59:32,991
There's something that we never
say that
1359
00:59:32,993 --> 00:59:34,529
one of us should say before it's
too late.

1360
00:59:37,331 --> 00:59:38,797
Yeah? Like... Like what?

1361
00:59:38,799 --> 00:59:41,333
No, I'm not gonna say it now, but
maybe you want to say something.

1362
00:59:41,335 --> 00:59:43,434
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, yeah?

1363
00:59:43,436 --> 00:59:46,003
Seems like you might want to
get something off your chest.

1364
00:59:46,005 --> 00:59:47,072
No. Nothing comes to mind.

1365
00:59:47,074 --> 00:59:48,306
But if you want to say
something,

1366
00:59:48,308 --> 00:59:49,775
I'm not gonna stop you or
anything.

1367
00:59:49,777 --> 00:59:50,842
No, I'm good.

1368
00:59:50,844 --> 00:59:52,009
But you might wanna
unburden yourself

1369
00:59:52,011 --> 00:59:53,378
before you bust
that frickin' machine.

1370
00:59:53,380 --> 00:59:56,848
Yeah. Well, if I was gonna say
something, and I'm not...

1371
00:59:56,850 --> 00:59:58,050
What are you gonna say?

1372
00:59:58,052 --> 00:59:59,617
But if I was, I might want to
tell you that I...

1373
00:59:59,619 --> 01:00:01,119
Hello?

1374
01:00:01,121 --> 01:00:01,920
Wait, it's Brad! Don't...
Don't say it! Don't say it.

1375
01:00:01,922 --> 01:00:03,054
Knock, knock!

1376
01:00:03,056 --> 01:00:04,322
Time out on three, okay?
One, two, three.

1377
01:00:04,324 --> 01:00:05,326
Hey, Brad.

1378
01:00:05,926 --> 01:00:07,125
What's going on?

1379
01:00:07,127 --> 01:00:08,927
Hey. Am I interrupting
something?

1380
01:00:08,929 --> 01:00:10,596
- What? No, nothing.
- No, we're fine.

1381
01:00:10,598 --> 01:00:11,795
Why are you being so weird,
Brad?

1382
01:00:11,797 --> 01:00:13,431
Just seems
a little awkward in here.

1383
01:00:14,668 --> 01:00:16,500
Oh, gosh.
It smells like a bullfight.

1384
01:00:16,502 --> 01:00:18,103
So, look, guys,

1385
01:00:18,105 --> 01:00:20,271
I'm not here to tell you I told
you so,

1386
01:00:20,273 --> 01:00:21,308
even though I did.

1387
01:00:22,074 --> 01:00:23,608
I've just been thinking that

1388
01:00:23,610 --> 01:00:25,976
we've had a lot of tensions
as of late, and I thought

1389
01:00:25,978 --> 01:00:28,413
maybe we could use
a Dads' Night Out. Right?

1390
01:00:28,415 --> 01:00:30,949
Yeah. So what are we thinking,
Brad?

1391
01:00:30,951 --> 01:00:32,449
Strip club?

1392
01:00:32,451 --> 01:00:34,820
Even better.

1393
01:00:34,822 --> 01:00:38,623
Look, it's a cute tiny monkey
on your back.

1394
01:00:42,395 --> 01:00:45,432
Give us all the money in the
drawers and all the lollipops.

1395
01:00:49,435 --> 01:00:51,138
Guys, I can't keep up.

1396
01:01:00,647 --> 01:01:01,846
I'm gonna hit the head.

1397
01:01:01,848 --> 01:01:03,648
- I'll get us a couple more drinks.
- Sure.

1398
01:01:03,650 --> 01:01:06,250
Hey, am I crazy or are you guys
having a good time?

1399
01:01:06,252 --> 01:01:07,853
I don't know.
I think we kind of are.

1400
01:01:07,855 --> 01:01:10,822
- That's wonderful, Dusty!
- Thanks, Don.

1401
01:01:10,824 --> 01:01:12,757
I told you we'd rub off
on you two.

1402
01:01:12,759 --> 01:01:14,525
In this room right now,

1403
01:01:14,527 --> 01:01:17,795
there's a man who,
despite his advancing years,

1404
01:01:17,797 --> 01:01:20,134
is apparently an improv ninja.

1405
01:01:20,735 --> 01:01:22,300
Brad, you didn't.

1406
01:01:22,302 --> 01:01:25,070
I did. I so did!

1407
01:01:25,072 --> 01:01:27,471
Don Whitaker, ladies and
gentlemen!

1408
01:01:27,473 --> 01:01:29,940
All right. All right.

1409
01:01:32,413 --> 01:01:33,947
You are the greatest.

1410
01:01:36,083 --> 01:01:38,550
Don!
Let's hear it for Don!

1411
01:01:38,552 --> 01:01:40,117
We're gonna play
a little "Arms Akimbo."

1412
01:01:40,119 --> 01:01:41,286
Do you know that one?

1413
01:01:41,288 --> 01:01:42,621
- Of course I do!
- Awesome.

1414
01:01:42,623 --> 01:01:43,954
They're gonna love this.

1415
01:01:43,956 --> 01:01:46,891
- Can somebody do my Velcro?
- Yes.

1416
01:01:46,893 --> 01:01:48,893
He's got tiny little girl arms!

1417
01:01:50,429 --> 01:01:54,098
Okay. We're gonna do a scene,
and we need some suggestions.

1418
01:01:54,100 --> 01:01:55,800
Can you suggest an animal?

1419
01:01:55,802 --> 01:01:57,201
- Raccoon!
- A panda!

1420
01:01:57,203 --> 01:01:59,070
Raccoon, good! All right.

1421
01:01:59,072 --> 01:02:01,072
And, sir, what is your
profession?

1422
01:02:01,074 --> 01:02:02,473
I'm a dermatologist.

1423
01:02:02,475 --> 01:02:05,677
And finally we need
a human relationship.

1424
01:02:05,679 --> 01:02:06,811
Oh! Father and son!

1425
01:02:06,813 --> 01:02:08,646
A healthy father and son
relationship.

1426
01:02:08,648 --> 01:02:10,250
Or how about a divorce?

1427
01:02:11,451 --> 01:02:13,418
Now you're getting in the
spirit, Dusty.

1428
01:02:13,420 --> 01:02:14,753
Yes. Okay. We're taking
"divorce."

1429
01:02:14,755 --> 01:02:16,020
That's all we need. Give it up!

1430
01:02:16,022 --> 01:02:17,725
That's really dark.

1431
01:02:18,525 --> 01:02:19,424
Oh, come on, babe.

1432
01:02:19,426 --> 01:02:21,192
Just a little fun before
he gets here.

1433
01:02:21,194 --> 01:02:22,427
No. Stop it. I told you, okay?

1434
01:02:22,429 --> 01:02:25,130
No canoodling until
the divorce is finalized.

1435
01:02:25,132 --> 01:02:27,001
- It's not right.
- Come on.

1436
01:02:27,435 --> 01:02:28,534
Knock, knock.

1437
01:02:28,536 --> 01:02:31,605
He has no idea what
he's walking into!

1438
01:02:32,672 --> 01:02:34,405
You're home!

1439
01:02:34,407 --> 01:02:35,543
Yes.

1440
01:02:36,576 --> 01:02:37,712
Where were you?

1441
01:02:39,212 --> 01:02:42,346
I took our raccoon to the
dermatologist.

1442
01:02:42,348 --> 01:02:43,915
He got two
of the suggestions already.

1443
01:02:43,917 --> 01:02:45,416
He's on fire!

1444
01:02:45,418 --> 01:02:47,686
Aren't you even gonna address
the strange man in your home?

1445
01:02:47,688 --> 01:02:50,956
Yeah, bro, don't you even
want to know who I am?

1446
01:02:50,958 --> 01:02:52,690
I know who you are.

1447
01:02:52,692 --> 01:02:54,425
Don, if you'll excuse me,

1448
01:02:54,427 --> 01:02:56,429
I think I'm gonna start
giving it to your wife.

1449
01:02:56,830 --> 01:02:57,962
Shut up!
1450
01:02:57,964 --> 01:03:00,699
Just shut up with
that kind of talk!

1451
01:03:00,701 --> 01:03:03,701
When we met on that flight,
I was really nice to you.

1452
01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:08,105
I listened to you tell your
stupid story over and over again,

1453
01:03:08,107 --> 01:03:10,476
and I complimented your hat!

1454
01:03:13,380 --> 01:03:16,081
- Brad, we have to stop this.
- He's killing!

1455
01:03:16,083 --> 01:03:17,315
Don't you see what's happening?

1456
01:03:17,317 --> 01:03:19,317
I do. I see a room of people
laughing at my father.

1457
01:03:19,319 --> 01:03:20,451
- It's amazing.
- Okay.

1458
01:03:20,453 --> 01:03:23,590
- Have some water.
- No, I don't want water.

1459
01:03:26,659 --> 01:03:27,925
Oh!

1460
01:03:27,927 --> 01:03:29,061
I don't want water!

1461
01:03:29,063 --> 01:03:30,829
I want my wife back.

1462
01:03:30,831 --> 01:03:34,965
And I want our Sunday brunches
at the Cracker Barrel.

1463
01:03:34,967 --> 01:03:37,369
Braddie, we've got to get him
off the stage.

1464
01:03:37,371 --> 01:03:40,241
All you needed was
somebody to listen to you,

1465
01:03:41,107 --> 01:03:43,041
and all I do is talk.

1466
01:03:43,043 --> 01:03:44,375
On and on and on.

1467
01:03:44,377 --> 01:03:48,282
When am I ever gonna learn
to shut my big fat mouth?

1468
01:03:48,815 --> 01:03:49,817
Ooh.

1469
01:03:50,317 --> 01:03:51,452
Ginny.

1470
01:03:53,052 --> 01:03:54,255
Ginny.

1471
01:03:54,888 --> 01:03:56,487
My sweet Ginny.

1472
01:03:56,489 --> 01:03:59,159
Why is he using
my mom's real name?

1473
01:04:01,694 --> 01:04:03,229
Hey, Dad?

1474
01:04:03,831 --> 01:04:05,566
Is this true?

1475
01:04:07,067 --> 01:04:09,070
Are you and Mom divorced?

1476
01:04:10,936 --> 01:04:13,139
I wanted to tell you, Brad.

1477
01:04:16,543 --> 01:04:19,713
Son, you're home
from summer camp!

1478
01:04:21,147 --> 01:04:24,417
I don't go to summer camp,
I'm a grown man. Okay?

1479
01:04:28,688 --> 01:04:31,121
Why are you laughing?
I'm not part of this! Okay?

1480
01:04:31,123 --> 01:04:34,659
You are a part of this family, and
you will respect your parents.

1481
01:04:34,661 --> 01:04:35,793
- Yeah.
- Shut up!

1482
01:04:35,795 --> 01:04:36,893
- Brad.
- Just shut up.

1483
01:04:36,895 --> 01:04:38,262
Let me out of this bit!

1484
01:04:38,264 --> 01:04:40,264
What about him?
Is he still around?

1485
01:04:40,266 --> 01:04:42,166
Do I have a stepdad?

1486
01:04:43,636 --> 01:04:47,207
Stop doing that to me!
I'm a paying customer!

1487
01:04:47,674 --> 01:04:49,342
Brad, let's go.

1488
01:04:50,610 --> 01:04:52,113
Come on.
1489
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:03,621
Will you please just go out
there and talk to him?

1490
01:05:03,623 --> 01:05:07,391
He won't talk to me,
and I don't blame him.

1491
01:05:07,393 --> 01:05:09,729
You know, it's not really all
your fault.

1492
01:05:10,897 --> 01:05:12,730
You can't blame Dusty.

1493
01:05:12,732 --> 01:05:16,369
He couldn't have known about Ginny and
me when he made that improv suggestion.

1494
01:05:18,404 --> 01:05:21,139
- You did know!
- It was pretty obvious, Don.

1495
01:05:21,141 --> 01:05:22,907
A guy your age either joins
an improv group

1496
01:05:22,909 --> 01:05:24,308
because his wife left him,

1497
01:05:24,310 --> 01:05:26,043
or his wife left him because he
joined an improv group.

1498
01:05:26,045 --> 01:05:29,079
- So you did it on purpose?
- No! Well...

1499
01:05:29,081 --> 01:05:30,748
Well, yeah. All right? I did.

1500
01:05:30,750 --> 01:05:33,083
You and Brad are all lovey-dovey
and smug about your relationship.

1501
01:05:33,085 --> 01:05:34,485
I mean, you make out every
chance you get.

1502
01:05:34,487 --> 01:05:36,186
Meanwhile, my dad's ditching out
on me.

1503
01:05:36,188 --> 01:05:37,721
Maybe I got a little jealous,
all right?

1504
01:05:37,723 --> 01:05:39,291
Look, I didn't think
you were gonna freak out

1505
01:05:39,293 --> 01:05:41,625
and spill your guts to a room
full of drunken skiers!

1506
01:05:41,627 --> 01:05:43,594
- Hey. What is wrong with you?
- What? I didn't...

1507
01:05:43,596 --> 01:05:45,429
Go out there
and fix this right now.

1508
01:05:45,431 --> 01:05:46,734
- Go!
- All right.

1509
01:05:51,605 --> 01:05:53,038
Are you serious?

1510
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,340
I'm keeping this.

1511
01:06:16,663 --> 01:06:17,864
Are you okay?

1512
01:06:19,532 --> 01:06:20,534
Uh...

1513
01:06:21,134 --> 01:06:23,201
My parents are divorced.

1514
01:06:23,203 --> 01:06:24,605
Oh. Mine, too.

1515
01:06:24,904 --> 01:06:26,371
Sucks.

1516
01:06:26,373 --> 01:06:29,139
- Yeah.
- I think it was my fault.

1517
01:06:29,141 --> 01:06:32,811
- Was yours your fault, too?
- I don't know. I hope not.

1518
01:06:32,813 --> 01:06:35,212
I just found out last night.
When did you find out?

1519
01:06:35,214 --> 01:06:37,949
- I was a baby.
- When you were a baby?

1520
01:06:37,951 --> 01:06:40,721
Maybe it was your fault.
Were you a difficult baby?

1521
01:06:41,253 --> 01:06:42,954
I don't know.

1522
01:06:42,956 --> 01:06:45,824
You know what? Your lack of specifics
leads me to believe it was your fault.

1523
01:06:45,826 --> 01:06:48,525
No, no, no! You were not
a difficult baby, sweetheart.

1524
01:06:48,527 --> 01:06:50,228
Brad, dude, what are you
telling the kid?

1525
01:06:50,230 --> 01:06:52,563
Come on, man. I know
you're upset about last night.

1526
01:06:52,565 --> 01:06:54,232
All right? I'm sorry
about what happened, okay?

1527
01:06:54,234 --> 01:06:55,699
I didn't mean to give
that improv suggestion.

1528
01:06:55,701 --> 01:06:57,634
It just... It just kind of
slipped out.

1529
01:06:58,772 --> 01:07:01,206
- Know what, Dusty? It's okay.
- Really?

1530
01:07:01,208 --> 01:07:02,873
- Yeah.
- Thanks, Brad.

1531
01:07:02,875 --> 01:07:05,210
Look, why don't you come in and talk
to Don? He's feeling a little...

1532
01:07:05,212 --> 01:07:07,414
Oh, my gosh.
I wonder who that could be?

1533
01:07:08,214 --> 01:07:09,717
What a nice truck!

1534
01:07:17,690 --> 01:07:18,757
Daddy!

1535
01:07:18,759 --> 01:07:22,592
- What are you doing here?
- Come on. What am I doing?

1536
01:07:22,594 --> 01:07:24,929
I want to celebrate Christmas
with my perfect little girl.

1537
01:07:24,931 --> 01:07:28,366
Don't you want to spend the holidays
with your one true real dad?

1538
01:07:28,368 --> 01:07:29,733
Yeah, come on!
1539
01:07:29,735 --> 01:07:31,670
- Let's come see the cabin.
- Hey, Roger.

1540
01:07:31,672 --> 01:07:32,973
It's so cool!

1541
01:07:35,275 --> 01:07:36,407
Come on, hurry.
You're going too slow.

1542
01:07:36,409 --> 01:07:37,775
I'm coming, sweetheart.

1543
01:07:37,777 --> 01:07:40,244
You invite him all the way up
here just to get back at me?

1544
01:07:40,246 --> 01:07:41,547
Yeah, I did.

1545
01:07:43,350 --> 01:07:46,717
- Bye, Kurt! Call me!
- Yeah, next time I'm in.

1546
01:07:46,719 --> 01:07:48,351
That's her dad, yeah?

1547
01:07:48,353 --> 01:07:50,588
Uh-huh.

1548
01:07:50,590 --> 01:07:52,123
And you invited him,
too, didn't you?

1549
01:07:52,125 --> 01:07:53,657
I sure did, yep.

1550
01:07:53,659 --> 01:07:58,628
I don't know what I missed,
but this is getting good, boys.

1551
01:07:58,630 --> 01:08:00,864
- I like your style, Brad.
- Hey, hey, hey.
1552
01:08:03,603 --> 01:08:05,237
You're opening up the harbor,
Brad.

1553
01:08:05,239 --> 01:08:07,771
The harbor is wide open,
and it's Fleet Week!

1554
01:08:07,773 --> 01:08:10,174
All right, good. 'Cause I got a
few boats that want to set sail.

1555
01:08:10,176 --> 01:08:11,275
Yeah, good. So do I.

1556
01:08:11,277 --> 01:08:12,944
You favor little Griffy
over my kids.

1557
01:08:12,946 --> 01:08:14,246
What? I do not!

1558
01:08:14,248 --> 01:08:15,579
He gets to sleep in your bed
all the time.

1559
01:08:15,581 --> 01:08:16,713
Megan and Dylan never get to.

1560
01:08:16,715 --> 01:08:18,416
You want them to sleep
in my bed with me?

1561
01:08:18,418 --> 01:08:20,318
God, no! Don't you ever think
about it!

1562
01:08:20,320 --> 01:08:21,586
I'm not thinking about it!

1563
01:08:21,588 --> 01:08:22,753
- You brought it up.
- Good! You better not.

1564
01:08:22,755 --> 01:08:24,155
- Shut up!
- Hey, you shut up.

1565
01:08:24,157 --> 01:08:25,957
- You shut up!
- No, you shut up!

1566
01:08:25,959 --> 01:08:28,559
Okay. Well, he's not gonna be part of that
special thing we got planned tonight,

1567
01:08:28,561 --> 01:08:29,859
if that's what you're thinking.

1568
01:08:29,861 --> 01:08:31,363
Oh, yeah?
So you're gonna tell Adrianna

1569
01:08:31,365 --> 01:08:32,896
that everyone's invited
to that "special thing"

1570
01:08:32,898 --> 01:08:34,901
we have planned for tonight,
except her dad.

1571
01:09:12,204 --> 01:09:15,739
Hey. Five more minutes
and I get to be Joseph.

1572
01:09:15,741 --> 01:09:18,609
You're not the right type
to play Jesus' dad, Brad.

1573
01:09:18,611 --> 01:09:21,612
He wasn't Jesus' dad,
he was Jesus' stepdad.

1574
01:09:21,614 --> 01:09:23,549
And I'm exactly the right type.

1575
01:09:24,316 --> 01:09:25,550
You'd better stop hitting me

1576
01:09:25,552 --> 01:09:26,917
with that shepherd stick, Brad.
I'm warning you.
1577
01:09:26,919 --> 01:09:28,920
Brad's right.
Let him be Joseph.

1578
01:09:28,922 --> 01:09:30,354
Thank you, Roger, I appreciate
that.

1579
01:09:30,356 --> 01:09:31,788
It's Brad's turn, Dusty.

1580
01:09:31,790 --> 01:09:33,591
Dad, don't break character.

1581
01:09:33,593 --> 01:09:34,926
And stop trying to butter me up.

1582
01:09:34,928 --> 01:09:37,729
- Can we show some decorum?
- I'm showing decorum.

1583
01:09:37,731 --> 01:09:40,032
You guys, zip it!
You're gonna wake up Baby Jesus.

1584
01:09:43,536 --> 01:09:44,734
That's it. Give me the beard.

1585
01:09:44,736 --> 01:09:46,403
Don't touch my Joseph beard,
Brad!

1586
01:09:46,405 --> 01:09:47,738
- Give him the beard!
- Dad, stay out of it!

1587
01:09:47,740 --> 01:09:49,373
Can we have some respect for the
Nativity?

1588
01:09:49,375 --> 01:09:50,742
Cut it out!

1589
01:09:50,744 --> 01:09:53,711
This is stupid.
I don't even get it.
1590
01:09:53,713 --> 01:09:56,581
Why go on a trip when
Mary's about to have a baby?

1591
01:09:56,583 --> 01:09:57,948
What's so damn important

1592
01:09:57,950 --> 01:10:00,251
you got to go to Bethlehem
in the middle of the night?

1593
01:10:00,253 --> 01:10:02,452
There was a census, okay? We
covered that in Sunday School.

1594
01:10:02,454 --> 01:10:04,624
Megan, what is going...

1595
01:10:05,525 --> 01:10:07,257
Did you get into the eggnog?

1596
01:10:07,259 --> 01:10:08,560
Hey. Who's up for some IHOP?

1597
01:10:08,562 --> 01:10:10,060
Yeah, that kid's pickled all
right.

1598
01:10:10,062 --> 01:10:12,432
Mom, you're pretty.
Can we go to IHOP?

1599
01:10:13,066 --> 01:10:14,265
I'm sorry, folks.

1600
01:10:14,267 --> 01:10:15,900
Having some technical
difficulties.

1601
01:10:15,902 --> 01:10:19,269
Great, Dad. Now you've broken
the fourth wall!

1602
01:10:19,271 --> 01:10:21,137
None of it's real, folks.
1603
01:10:21,139 --> 01:10:22,540
I want to go wait in the car.

1604
01:10:22,542 --> 01:10:24,442
Give me the keys, Brad!

1605
01:10:24,444 --> 01:10:26,644
No, I am not giving you
the keys to the car,

1606
01:10:26,646 --> 01:10:28,846
because you're drunk
and you're a child.

1607
01:10:28,848 --> 01:10:33,518
Nobody likes your dumb,
stupid Brad voice.

1608
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:35,386
And you smell like pumpkins!

1609
01:10:35,388 --> 01:10:37,854
- And you're a mean drunk.
- Kid's got an arm.

1610
01:10:37,856 --> 01:10:40,558
Drunk nine-year-old.
Real nice parenting.

1611
01:10:40,560 --> 01:10:42,129
You better watch it, Roger.

1612
01:10:44,763 --> 01:10:46,296
Adrianna! Are you okay,
sweetheart?

1613
01:10:46,298 --> 01:10:47,567
Is she okay? Is she...
What is she...

1614
01:10:50,536 --> 01:10:52,470
Oh. What a shock. Now we
know where Megan got the eggnog.

1615
01:10:52,472 --> 01:10:54,238
You always assume
she's the bad influence.

1616
01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:56,774
Maybe your daughter plied
my daughter with alcohol.

1617
01:10:56,776 --> 01:10:59,877
Maybe your daughter's that way
because her mother is a shoplifter.

1618
01:10:59,879 --> 01:11:01,945
Shoplifter.

1619
01:11:01,947 --> 01:11:04,015
Sara, we've been working on
the shoplifting thing, okay?

1620
01:11:04,017 --> 01:11:05,617
But that has nothing
to do with Adrianna

1621
01:11:05,619 --> 01:11:06,818
being such a little nightmare
all the time.

1622
01:11:06,820 --> 01:11:08,252
My daughter is not a nightmare!

1623
01:11:08,254 --> 01:11:09,386
Come on, Adrianna.

1624
01:11:09,388 --> 01:11:10,622
No, sweetheart,
I didn't mean that.

1625
01:11:10,624 --> 01:11:12,355
- Honey!
- Hey.

1626
01:11:12,357 --> 01:11:15,025
- What'd you call my daughter?
- He called her a nightmare.

1627
01:11:15,027 --> 01:11:17,228
Hey. I'm a lot of things,
but I'm not a heathen.
1628
01:11:17,230 --> 01:11:18,329
Let's take this outside.

1629
01:11:18,331 --> 01:11:19,697
Yeah, let's step
outside the manger.

1630
01:11:19,699 --> 01:11:20,898
He called her a nightmare.

1631
01:11:20,900 --> 01:11:23,033
- Here we go.
- Now, now, boys,

1632
01:11:23,035 --> 01:11:24,702
we can't just leave!

1633
01:11:24,704 --> 01:11:27,570
Joseph and the Innkeeper
rumble outside the manger!

1634
01:11:27,572 --> 01:11:29,107
Make the first move, Innkeeper.

1635
01:11:29,109 --> 01:11:30,274
Kick his ass, Joseph!

1636
01:11:30,276 --> 01:11:32,443
We are not going to do this
in front of the children!

1637
01:11:32,445 --> 01:11:34,912
Now, what kind of fathers are
you, anyway?

1638
01:11:34,914 --> 01:11:36,081
That's rich!

1639
01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:39,082
Coming from a guy who lies to
his son for six months.

1640
01:11:39,084 --> 01:11:42,220
Maybe that's why everyone thinks
your stories are so "delightful,"
1641
01:11:42,222 --> 01:11:44,088
because they're all lies!

1642
01:11:44,090 --> 01:11:45,756
Sara, get the kids out of here,
okay?

1643
01:11:45,758 --> 01:11:48,926
Happily. I don't want them
watching this anyway.

1644
01:11:48,928 --> 01:11:50,828
Have fun, morons!

1645
01:11:50,830 --> 01:11:53,765
- Pancakes, bitches!
- Do not say "bitches."

1646
01:11:53,767 --> 01:11:54,966
Kids are gone. Let's go.

1647
01:11:54,968 --> 01:11:57,202
I'm not hitting a guy dressed
like Joseph.

1648
01:11:57,204 --> 01:11:58,536
The beard's off, Roger.

1649
01:11:58,538 --> 01:12:00,203
How many excuses
you want to pull out, man?

1650
01:12:00,205 --> 01:12:01,271
Now it's on.

1651
01:12:01,273 --> 01:12:02,873
- You know what, Brad?
- Don!

1652
01:12:02,875 --> 01:12:04,074
Yes, I lied!

1653
01:12:04,076 --> 01:12:07,278
Because whenever there's
anything wrong in your life,
1654
01:12:07,280 --> 01:12:09,313
if it isn't roses and rainbows,

1655
01:12:09,315 --> 01:12:10,881
you completely fall apart.

1656
01:12:10,883 --> 01:12:12,949
I thought we had an honest
relationship!

1657
01:12:12,951 --> 01:12:14,551
Oh, yeah? Brad,
I bet you never told him

1658
01:12:14,553 --> 01:12:16,554
about that procedure
you had last year, did you?

1659
01:12:16,556 --> 01:12:17,822
Oh, my God. What procedure?

1660
01:12:17,824 --> 01:12:20,225
It was nothing,
just some benign tissue.

1661
01:12:20,227 --> 01:12:23,359
How about that? You're both a
couple of lying sacks.

1662
01:12:23,361 --> 01:12:24,528
And, you!

1663
01:12:24,530 --> 01:12:25,762
From the minute you got here,

1664
01:12:25,764 --> 01:12:28,233
you've been nothing but
mean and sarcastic.

1665
01:12:28,235 --> 01:12:29,567
Well, you know what, Kurt?

1666
01:12:29,569 --> 01:12:31,301
- F you!
- Dad!
1667
01:12:31,303 --> 01:12:32,903
That's right. Forget you!

1668
01:12:32,905 --> 01:12:35,238
Attaboy, swami.
Throwing down F words.

1669
01:12:35,240 --> 01:12:37,207
Not the F word, but an F word,
and that's a good start.

1670
01:12:37,209 --> 01:12:39,344
Now, come on, give me the
finger, big boy. Come on.

1671
01:12:39,346 --> 01:12:40,845
- Come on.
- Hey! Hey!

1672
01:12:40,847 --> 01:12:42,780
Are we gonna still fight
or what?

1673
01:12:42,782 --> 01:12:45,049
Roger brings up a good point.
Let's get the momentum back.

1674
01:12:45,051 --> 01:12:47,618
Come on, Roger. Get some!
Let's get in there!

1675
01:12:47,620 --> 01:12:50,054
- Come on!
- No, no, no, no, no!

1676
01:12:50,056 --> 01:12:53,925
If you lay one hand on each other,
whether the kids are here or not,

1677
01:12:53,927 --> 01:12:56,726
it will negatively impact them.

1678
01:12:56,728 --> 01:12:59,199
All right.
I'm not gonna lay a hand on him.
1679
01:13:01,200 --> 01:13:02,533
What are you doing?

1680
01:13:02,535 --> 01:13:05,135
Oh. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah.
Snowball fight.

1681
01:13:05,137 --> 01:13:08,206
I've got some Nerf guns
in the back of my car.

1682
01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,439
Want me to get them?

1683
01:13:09,441 --> 01:13:11,609
I pitched triple-A for the Red
Sox in their farm system, Roger.

1684
01:13:11,611 --> 01:13:12,676
Don't say I didn't warn you.

1685
01:13:12,678 --> 01:13:13,880
Take your best shot.

1686
01:13:19,018 --> 01:13:20,350
Dad!

1687
01:13:20,352 --> 01:13:21,887
Don, I'm sorry!

1688
01:13:23,188 --> 01:13:24,755
That sucks.

1689
01:13:24,757 --> 01:13:26,826
- I'm so sorry.
- No, no, it was all right.

1690
01:13:29,695 --> 01:13:31,363
Hey, no fair.
That's an ice ball.

1691
01:13:31,365 --> 01:13:32,663
You bet it is.

1692
01:13:32,665 --> 01:13:34,564
You know, you throw that
and we are no longer co-dads.

1693
01:13:34,566 --> 01:13:35,833
I'm way ahead of you, dickhead.

1694
01:13:35,835 --> 01:13:37,001
You know, from now on,

1695
01:13:37,003 --> 01:13:38,502
we'll just act like
a normal blended family

1696
01:13:38,504 --> 01:13:39,569
with me hating your guts.

1697
01:13:39,571 --> 01:13:41,271
The kids will never know,

1698
01:13:41,273 --> 01:13:43,440
because I'm too good of a dad to ever
throw their stepfather under the bus.

1699
01:13:43,442 --> 01:13:45,476
But that's right where
you're gonna be, Brad.

1700
01:13:45,478 --> 01:13:47,144
Under my bus.

1701
01:13:47,146 --> 01:13:50,146
Well, guess what, I'm gonna celebrate
you morning, noon and night

1702
01:13:50,148 --> 01:13:52,683
because it's the right thing to
do in front of the kids.

1703
01:13:52,685 --> 01:13:54,685
But just know the way
I really feel about you

1704
01:13:54,687 --> 01:13:56,887
is you can suck a fart, Dusty.

1705
01:13:56,889 --> 01:13:59,793
A wet, greasy fart.

1706
01:14:02,094 --> 01:14:05,229
You gonna keep pump-faking that thing
or you gonna take a shot, Brad?

1707
01:14:05,231 --> 01:14:06,564
Huh?

1708
01:14:06,566 --> 01:14:09,833
What? What? Huh?

1709
01:14:09,835 --> 01:14:11,502
He's never played sports ever.

1710
01:14:11,504 --> 01:14:13,336
Maybe it's stuck to his hand.

1711
01:14:13,338 --> 01:14:14,340
Oh! Oh!

1712
01:14:15,607 --> 01:14:17,677
Huh? Huh?

1713
01:14:24,551 --> 01:14:25,949
That's what I thought.

1714
01:14:25,951 --> 01:14:27,551
You know what, Dusty,
you're not worth it.

1715
01:14:27,553 --> 01:14:29,153
Come on, Dad.

1716
01:14:29,155 --> 01:14:30,054
Good.

1717
01:14:30,056 --> 01:14:31,458
Psych. You're totally worth it!

1718
01:14:33,259 --> 01:14:34,358
Dad!

1719
01:14:35,529 --> 01:14:38,595
- That was an ice ball.
- Treating your dad like that!

1720
01:14:38,597 --> 01:14:39,930
Dad.

1721
01:14:39,932 --> 01:14:41,834
Look, it was an accident.

1722
01:14:44,838 --> 01:14:46,636
Go ahead, Roger.

1723
01:14:46,638 --> 01:14:48,240
Brad was right the first time.

1724
01:14:49,308 --> 01:14:50,811
You're not worth it.

1725
01:14:52,646 --> 01:14:54,746
Dang! Right down my neck!

1726
01:14:54,748 --> 01:14:56,183
Don! Sorry! Sorry!

1727
01:14:57,150 --> 01:14:59,882
That guy's like a snowball
magnet.

1728
01:14:59,884 --> 01:15:02,054
You were right about everything.
You happy now?

1729
01:15:02,955 --> 01:15:04,654
Dusty,

1730
01:15:04,656 --> 01:15:06,726
I do like being right.

1731
01:15:10,963 --> 01:15:12,462
Hey, is that
your baby in there?

1732
01:15:12,464 --> 01:15:13,529
Griffy!

1733
01:15:14,801 --> 01:15:17,635
I know. I know, sweetie.
It's okay, it's okay.

1734
01:15:17,637 --> 01:15:19,235
I know, I know.

1735
01:15:19,237 --> 01:15:22,308
This was Dusty's idea.
I never wanted to do this.

1736
01:15:59,911 --> 01:16:02,148
Hey, Brad. That one's mine.

1737
01:16:03,081 --> 01:16:05,151
- Oh, is this bag yours?
- Yeah.

1738
01:16:11,356 --> 01:16:12,993
Sara? Sara!

1739
01:16:34,780 --> 01:16:36,413
- Oh, my gosh.
- Ew.

1740
01:16:36,415 --> 01:16:38,250
What is going on here?

1741
01:16:42,721 --> 01:16:43,854
What's happening, Officer?

1742
01:16:43,856 --> 01:16:46,123
Avalanche hit the highway
up ahead.

1743
01:16:46,125 --> 01:16:47,926
It's gonna take a few hours to
clear it,

1744
01:16:47,928 --> 01:16:50,394
so follow the traffic back
into town, all right?

1745
01:16:50,396 --> 01:16:53,029
What caused the avalanche?
Was it all the snow?

1746
01:16:53,031 --> 01:16:54,165
Yeah, I'm pretty sure

1747
01:16:54,167 --> 01:16:56,634
snow had something to do
with the avalanche.

1748
01:16:56,636 --> 01:16:58,338
Keep it moving!

1749
01:17:02,475 --> 01:17:05,943
Well, I guess we could stop
and have lunch to kill time.

1750
01:17:05,945 --> 01:17:08,010
On Christmas Day?

1751
01:17:08,012 --> 01:17:09,814
What's gonna be open?

1752
01:17:09,816 --> 01:17:11,051
I don't know.

1753
01:17:17,156 --> 01:17:19,424
Oh, look at that!

1754
01:17:19,426 --> 01:17:21,393
Looks like everyone
had the same idea.

1755
01:17:34,339 --> 01:17:36,873
Oh, no.
Everything's sold out.

1756
01:17:36,875 --> 01:17:38,141
Well, I guess we could see
<i>Missile Tow.</i>

1757
01:17:38,143 --> 01:17:39,443
What's that about?

1758
01:17:39,445 --> 01:17:40,711
It's Liam Neeson.

1759
01:17:40,713 --> 01:17:43,247
He's a tow truck driver who's on
his way home for Christmas

1760
01:17:43,249 --> 01:17:45,983
with his kids and
happens along some terrorists

1761
01:17:45,985 --> 01:17:47,818
who've hijacked a mobile ICBM.

1762
01:17:47,820 --> 01:17:49,086
So he hooks it to his rig

1763
01:17:49,088 --> 01:17:50,988
and has to get it to NORAD
before Christmas morning.

1764
01:17:50,990 --> 01:17:52,623
I hear it's really good!

1765
01:17:52,625 --> 01:17:55,125
I don't know, Brad, it's PG-13.

1766
01:17:55,127 --> 01:17:58,128
I don't really care
for the salty language.

1767
01:17:58,130 --> 01:17:59,563
Well, it has cute
little kids in it.

1768
01:17:59,565 --> 01:18:00,663
I mean, how dirty can it be?

1769
01:18:00,665 --> 01:18:01,899
Besides, you love Liam Neeson.

1770
01:18:01,901 --> 01:18:02,966
I do.

1771
01:18:02,968 --> 01:18:04,702
- Let's just give it a shot.
- Yes!

1772
01:18:04,704 --> 01:18:06,002
Looks very heroic.
1773
01:18:06,004 --> 01:18:08,507
- I'll say that much.
- I mean, really. Man!

1774
01:18:10,410 --> 01:18:12,976
The front row? I don't know,
Brad.

1775
01:18:12,978 --> 01:18:14,577
- What about the...
- Dad, please stop!

1776
01:18:14,579 --> 01:18:15,746
It's gonna strain your eyes.

1777
01:18:15,748 --> 01:18:17,250
We don't have a choice,
all right?

1778
01:18:18,918 --> 01:18:20,654
Look, it's Mom and Brad!

1779
01:18:23,188 --> 01:18:25,191
<i>Santa's got
a present for you bastards.</i>

1780
01:18:34,667 --> 01:18:37,201
<i>You're impounded, asshole.</i>

1781
01:18:37,203 --> 01:18:39,502
- <i>You did it, Daddy!</i>
- <i>You killed them all.</i>

1782
01:18:39,504 --> 01:18:42,872
<i>No, kids.
We did it. We killed them all.</i>

1783
01:18:42,874 --> 01:18:44,074
<i>Together.</i>

1784
01:18:44,076 --> 01:18:45,975
<i>We love you, Daddy.</i>

1785
01:18:45,977 --> 01:18:47,877
<i>I love you, too.</i>
1786
01:18:47,879 --> 01:18:51,051
<i>The only thing that matters
to me in this crazy world</i>

1787
01:18:51,484 --> 01:18:53,451
<i>is you kids.</i>

1788
01:18:53,453 --> 01:18:55,786
<i>And I'm sorry that your
holiday was ruined</i>

1789
01:18:55,788 --> 01:18:57,954
<i>by those godless mother...</i>

1790
01:19:04,597 --> 01:19:05,628
Sorry, folks.

1791
01:19:05,630 --> 01:19:07,363
Looks like we're having
a bit of a power outage.

1792
01:19:07,365 --> 01:19:09,600
We don't know when
the power's gonna come back on,

1793
01:19:09,602 --> 01:19:12,336
so you guys are all welcome
to stay in here or in the lobby.

1794
01:19:12,338 --> 01:19:15,005
The DOT wants everybody to stay
inside and off the roads,

1795
01:19:15,007 --> 01:19:16,576
so we might be in here
for a while.

1796
01:19:19,078 --> 01:19:21,545
You know, I bet this is
because of the snow, too.

1797
01:19:21,547 --> 01:19:22,682
Gee, Dad, you think so?

1798
01:19:49,374 --> 01:19:51,007
I need to use the gent's.
1799
01:19:51,009 --> 01:19:52,475
Brad, do you need to go tee-tee?

1800
01:19:52,477 --> 01:19:54,144
Dad, don't say that in public!

1801
01:19:54,146 --> 01:19:55,414
- Just go.
- All right.

1802
01:19:57,784 --> 01:19:59,018
Is he still looking at me?

1803
01:20:00,718 --> 01:20:01,918
Yes.

1804
01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:04,190
Is he doing that one look that
he does? You know, like...

1805
01:20:06,125 --> 01:20:08,225
- Is he doing that look?
- Yeah.

1806
01:20:08,227 --> 01:20:10,497
Where he doesn't blink? Yeah.

1807
01:20:11,864 --> 01:20:13,066
Yep.

1808
01:20:13,632 --> 01:20:15,099
You know,

1809
01:20:15,101 --> 01:20:16,500
when I said that

1810
01:20:16,502 --> 01:20:18,969
Brad was turning you into
something that you're not?

1811
01:20:18,971 --> 01:20:21,904
Maybe, you know,
what I really meant to say

1812
01:20:21,906 --> 01:20:23,707
was that

1813
01:20:23,709 --> 01:20:26,445
Brad's turning you
into something that I'm not,

1814
01:20:26,812 --> 01:20:28,311
a good dad.

1815
01:20:29,514 --> 01:20:31,415
No? No, that didn't
do it for you?

1816
01:20:31,417 --> 01:20:32,616
Come on.
I thought it was pretty good.

1817
01:20:32,618 --> 01:20:34,518
That whole speech
was in the movie we just saw.

1818
01:20:34,520 --> 01:20:35,952
- Was it?
- Yeah. Word for word.

1819
01:20:35,954 --> 01:20:37,253
Dramatic pauses and all.

1820
01:20:37,255 --> 01:20:38,421
Liam Neeson just said that.

1821
01:20:38,423 --> 01:20:41,091
It must've been in my
subconscious.

1822
01:20:41,093 --> 01:20:42,458
I'm gonna go drain the lizard.

1823
01:20:42,460 --> 01:20:43,463
Yeah. Yeah.

1824
01:20:48,433 --> 01:20:51,068
Whoa!
That is a very impressive

1825
01:20:51,070 --> 01:20:53,606
watch. Is that a Rolex?
Mine's a Casio.

1826
01:21:03,583 --> 01:21:05,582
You know what, Kurt?

1827
01:21:05,584 --> 01:21:06,516
When we first met,

1828
01:21:06,518 --> 01:21:09,386
I was so excited about
our being co-grandpas.

1829
01:21:09,388 --> 01:21:12,725
And now everybody's miserable!
And my son won't forgive me.

1830
01:21:13,927 --> 01:21:15,594
You know what you and Brad
really need?

1831
01:21:16,594 --> 01:21:18,061
Oh, no.

1832
01:21:18,063 --> 01:21:20,863
I'm not taking any advice
from the likes of you.

1833
01:21:20,865 --> 01:21:22,134
No, thank you.

1834
01:21:25,637 --> 01:21:27,206
Okay, what do we need?

1835
01:21:30,276 --> 01:21:32,542
- Hey! Adrianna's here!
- Megan!

1836
01:21:32,544 --> 01:21:33,676
Hi!

1837
01:21:33,678 --> 01:21:36,346
- I can't shake this guy.
- I can't shake this guy.

1838
01:21:36,348 --> 01:21:37,848
- You guys got stuck here, too?
- Yeah.

1839
01:21:37,850 --> 01:21:41,551
And, Dylan, look who else
got stuck. Your girlfriend!

1840
01:21:41,553 --> 01:21:42,987
We should put her under
the mistletoe.

1841
01:21:42,989 --> 01:21:44,054
Yeah!

1842
01:21:44,056 --> 01:21:46,226
- Come on, stay under.
- Stay.

1843
01:21:49,128 --> 01:21:51,331
You like that girl, don't you?

1844
01:21:51,931 --> 01:21:53,133
Hmm.

1845
01:21:53,566 --> 01:21:54,465
Well,

1846
01:21:54,467 --> 01:21:57,868
who knocked down a pin
all by himself?

1847
01:21:57,870 --> 01:22:00,002
- I did?
- Damn right, you did.

1848
01:22:00,004 --> 01:22:02,073
Now go in there
and pick up that spare.

1849
01:22:02,075 --> 01:22:03,910
Here she is, Dylan!

1850
01:22:04,977 --> 01:22:06,846
It just doesn't seem right.

1851
01:22:08,646 --> 01:22:09,512
Brad?

1852
01:22:09,514 --> 01:22:11,918
Dad, I really don't want to...

1853
01:22:12,817 --> 01:22:13,818
Jeez.

1854
01:22:13,820 --> 01:22:16,787
We're gonna settle this
physically, like men!

1855
01:22:16,789 --> 01:22:19,256
And when it's all over, we're
gonna feel a whole lot better.

1856
01:22:19,258 --> 01:22:21,391
At least somebody's
taking my advice today.

1857
01:22:21,393 --> 01:22:23,092
Cut it out! This is child abuse!
Honey, help me!

1858
01:22:23,094 --> 01:22:24,694
Don't be such a snowflake.
Fight back!

1859
01:22:24,696 --> 01:22:25,962
Hey, guys, come on,
knock it off.

1860
01:22:25,964 --> 01:22:27,029
You're making a scene,
all right?

1861
01:22:27,031 --> 01:22:28,331
Yeah, Don, lean on him!

1862
01:22:28,333 --> 01:22:30,870
Engage me, son,
for the sake of our male bond.

1863
01:22:33,204 --> 01:22:34,806
No, wait, wait, look. Look!
1864
01:22:39,645 --> 01:22:41,281
What's he doing?

1865
01:22:46,919 --> 01:22:49,086
Oh, my God. He's going in
for his first kiss.

1866
01:22:49,088 --> 01:22:50,686
Look, she's standing
under the mistletoe.

1867
01:22:50,688 --> 01:22:52,355
Oh, my God. Where's my phone?
Where's my phone?

1868
01:22:52,357 --> 01:22:54,024
Oh, my God, where's your phone?

1869
01:22:54,026 --> 01:22:55,326
Brad, where's your phone!

1870
01:22:55,328 --> 01:22:58,461
Okay, it's right here.
Right here. Yeah. Yeah.

1871
01:22:58,463 --> 01:23:00,899
Look how brave he is.
She's all yours, buddy.

1872
01:23:02,034 --> 01:23:03,301
Unless she's
got a boyfriend.

1873
01:23:03,303 --> 01:23:04,601
In that case,
there's always the Friend Zone.

1874
01:23:04,603 --> 01:23:05,836
No, there's nothing wrong
with the Friend Zone.

1875
01:23:05,838 --> 01:23:07,003
Guys, he's not going
in the Friend Zone, okay?

1876
01:23:07,005 --> 01:23:08,070
Look at that smile.
She likes him.

1877
01:23:08,072 --> 01:23:09,776
Yeah, she wants a kiss.

1878
01:23:36,869 --> 01:23:38,301
My God, he kissed his sister!

1879
01:23:38,303 --> 01:23:40,005
Congratulations, you lucky gal.

1880
01:23:41,472 --> 01:23:44,107
I did it, El Padre!
I kissed the girl I like!

1881
01:23:44,109 --> 01:23:47,177
Yeah! Attaboy!

1882
01:23:47,179 --> 01:23:50,581
Did you just kiss your sister?
You sick kid!

1883
01:23:50,583 --> 01:23:51,649
Stepsister.

1884
01:23:51,651 --> 01:23:53,417
I mean, still not okay,
I know that.

1885
01:23:53,419 --> 01:23:55,452
What? No, no, wait, he's just
a little confused, all right?

1886
01:23:55,454 --> 01:23:57,153
It's no surprise
when you look at who raised him.

1887
01:23:57,155 --> 01:23:58,921
Adrianna, come on.
We're going home.

1888
01:23:58,923 --> 01:24:00,890
Wait, wait, Roger,
you can't go out in that storm.

1889
01:24:00,892 --> 01:24:03,961
I was an alternate for Season 3
<i>Ice Road Truckers.</i>

1890
01:24:03,963 --> 01:24:04,964
I'll be fine.

1891
01:24:06,432 --> 01:24:07,867
That was their best season.

1892
01:24:08,667 --> 01:24:10,234
I got this.

1893
01:24:10,236 --> 01:24:11,734
Wait a minute.
Roger, hold up, man.

1894
01:24:11,736 --> 01:24:14,471
No. From now on, I don't want
you anywhere near my daughter.

1895
01:24:14,473 --> 01:24:16,206
I don't want anything to do
with any of you people!

1896
01:24:16,208 --> 01:24:18,341
Look, I never wanted to be
family with you, either, Roger.

1897
01:24:18,343 --> 01:24:21,110
Just like Brad never wanted to be
family with me, did you, Brad?

1898
01:24:21,112 --> 01:24:22,846
No. Not at all. I hated your
guts.

1899
01:24:22,848 --> 01:24:25,015
In fact, I still kind of do
right now.

1900
01:24:25,017 --> 01:24:26,349
Yeah. Me, too, Brad.

1901
01:24:26,351 --> 01:24:28,085
But we're all connected
by these kids.
1902
01:24:28,087 --> 01:24:29,519
No one's going anywhere.

1903
01:24:29,521 --> 01:24:31,454
- You gonna stop me?
- If I have to, yes.

1904
01:24:31,456 --> 01:24:33,726
Yeah, right. You couldn't stop
a clock, you weak tit.

1905
01:24:34,892 --> 01:24:36,328
The hammer.

1906
01:24:39,397 --> 01:24:40,963
You know what, Adrianna?

1907
01:24:40,965 --> 01:24:44,370
You're not gonna like this, young
lady, but this is long overdue.

1908
01:24:47,772 --> 01:24:48,775
I love you.

1909
01:24:50,476 --> 01:24:52,408
- That got me.
- Got me, too. Right here.

1910
01:24:52,410 --> 01:24:53,644
What the hell did you just say?

1911
01:24:53,646 --> 01:24:55,144
You heard me.
I said, I love my stepdaughter!

1912
01:24:55,146 --> 01:24:57,448
And I meant it. I should've said
it a long time ago,

1913
01:24:57,450 --> 01:25:01,454
but I was afraid to put myself out
there and risk getting rejected.

1914
01:25:01,853 --> 01:25:02,920
Sweet.
1915
01:25:02,922 --> 01:25:04,755
You know what?

1916
01:25:04,757 --> 01:25:07,460
Adrianna, you're gonna spend
Christmas with your mom, okay?

1917
01:25:09,428 --> 01:25:11,595
You're not leaving us, Roger.

1918
01:25:11,597 --> 01:25:13,333
'Cause I love you, too.

1919
01:25:15,467 --> 01:25:17,568
- You take that back!
- Nope. I can't.

1920
01:25:17,570 --> 01:25:18,702
Can't take it back now.

1921
01:25:18,704 --> 01:25:20,670
Everybody heard it.
It's out there.

1922
01:25:20,672 --> 01:25:23,541
- Everybody hear it?
- Yeah.

1923
01:25:23,543 --> 01:25:25,208
You're her dad,
you made her who she is,

1924
01:25:25,210 --> 01:25:28,378
and despite her currently harboring a
fair amount of resentment towards me,

1925
01:25:28,380 --> 01:25:30,613
I love her, so that means
I love you, too.

1926
01:25:30,615 --> 01:25:32,582
And I've never been too good
about saying it,

1927
01:25:32,584 --> 01:25:34,284
but I'm gonna follow Brad's
example,

1928
01:25:34,286 --> 01:25:35,552
who I also love.

1929
01:25:35,554 --> 01:25:37,787
Now you're just saying things
to choke me up.

1930
01:25:37,789 --> 01:25:38,889
Brad! Cut it out.

1931
01:25:38,891 --> 01:25:41,024
- I'm trying.
- I'm a hot mess here.

1932
01:25:41,026 --> 01:25:42,792
- Don, please!
- You've got to understand,

1933
01:25:42,794 --> 01:25:44,828
when it comes out of nowhere
like that,

1934
01:25:44,830 --> 01:25:45,729
what do you expect?

1935
01:25:45,731 --> 01:25:46,997
- Stop!
- I'm stopping.

1936
01:25:46,999 --> 01:25:48,498
- I'm currently stopping.
- We're...

1937
01:25:48,500 --> 01:25:50,833
Yeah, guys. Cut it out,
you're embarrassing me.

1938
01:25:50,835 --> 01:25:52,202
I love you, Brad.

1939
01:25:52,204 --> 01:25:54,005
And I love Karen, I love Sara,

1940
01:25:54,973 --> 01:25:56,007
and I love my kids.

1941
01:25:59,579 --> 01:26:00,813
I...

1942
01:26:04,115 --> 01:26:06,049
I might need a little more
time with that one.

1943
01:26:06,051 --> 01:26:07,217
Sure, understood.

1944
01:26:07,219 --> 01:26:09,152
But we're making progress.
Maybe for your birthday.

1945
01:26:09,154 --> 01:26:10,319
Yeah.

1946
01:26:10,321 --> 01:26:12,155
You know. Unless you
want to say anything?

1947
01:26:12,157 --> 01:26:13,791
- Anything at all?
- Say it, Kurt.

1948
01:26:13,793 --> 01:26:15,792
- Now's the time.
- Just say it, Kurt.

1949
01:26:15,794 --> 01:26:16,926
You want to say anything?

1950
01:26:16,928 --> 01:26:18,729
It's not that bad.
Just say it.

1951
01:26:18,731 --> 01:26:21,399
- You can do it.
- Do it.

1952
01:26:21,401 --> 01:26:24,301
Nah, the birthday's a good
target. Good target.
1953
01:26:24,303 --> 01:26:26,202
All right, Roger,
what do you say?

1954
01:26:26,204 --> 01:26:29,008
It's not too late to spend
Christmas with your family.

1955
01:26:48,127 --> 01:26:50,797
<i>♪ It's Christmastime</i>

1956
01:26:51,830 --> 01:26:55,500
<i>♪ There's no need to be
afraid, Roger</i>

1957
01:26:56,468 --> 01:26:59,302
<i>♪ At Christmastime</i>

1958
01:26:59,304 --> 01:27:02,738
<i>♪ We let in light and we
banish shade</i>

1959
01:27:02,740 --> 01:27:04,675
Damn, that's my favorite
song of all time.

1960
01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:09,113
<i>♪ And in our world of plenty</i>

1961
01:27:09,115 --> 01:27:13,350
<i>♪ We can spread a smile of joy</i>

1962
01:27:13,352 --> 01:27:17,086
<i>♪ Throw your arms around the
world</i>

1963
01:27:17,088 --> 01:27:19,958
<i>♪ At Christmastime</i>

1964
01:27:21,560 --> 01:27:23,495
<i>♪ But say a prayer</i>

1965
01:27:25,563 --> 01:27:28,064
<i>♪ Pray for the other ones!</i>

1966
01:27:28,066 --> 01:27:30,132
I'll play this in August,
I don't even care.

1967
01:27:30,134 --> 01:27:32,168
<i>♪ At Christmastime</i>

1968
01:27:32,170 --> 01:27:37,841
<i>♪ It's hard, but when you're
having fun</i>

1969
01:27:37,843 --> 01:27:42,779
<i>♪ There's a world outside
your window</i>

1970
01:27:42,781 --> 01:27:46,817
<i>♪ It's a world of dread and
fear</i>

1971
01:27:46,819 --> 01:27:51,421
<i>♪ Where the only water
flowing is</i>

1972
01:27:51,423 --> 01:27:55,158
<i>♪ The bitter sting of tears</i>

1973
01:27:55,160 --> 01:27:59,430
<i>♪ And the Christmas bells
that ring there</i>

1974
01:27:59,432 --> 01:28:03,166
<i>♪ Are the clanging chimes of
doom</i>

1975
01:28:03,168 --> 01:28:06,539
<i>♪ Well, tonight thank God
it's them</i>

1976
01:28:07,172 --> 01:28:09,842
<i>♪ Instead of you ♪</i>

1977
01:28:10,409 --> 01:28:12,210
Yes! Fantastic!

1978
01:28:17,281 --> 01:28:18,817
He heard it!
1979
01:28:28,259 --> 01:28:29,294
Come on, Roger.

1980
01:28:31,362 --> 01:28:33,497
Look. Yes, we're all stuck here,

1981
01:28:33,499 --> 01:28:35,465
but we're with our loved ones.

1982
01:28:35,467 --> 01:28:37,567
I'm not. I came alone.

1983
01:28:37,569 --> 01:28:39,135
Okay, well,

1984
01:28:39,137 --> 01:28:41,704
he came to the movies alone on
Christmas, and that's a little sad.

1985
01:28:41,706 --> 01:28:43,875
<i>♪ That's a little sad! ♪</i>

1986
01:28:44,709 --> 01:28:46,243
But you're not alone, sir.

1987
01:28:46,245 --> 01:28:49,579
I mean, think about it. We come
to the movies all the time.

1988
01:28:49,581 --> 01:28:51,715
We sit with hundreds of people.

1989
01:28:51,717 --> 01:28:55,452
And we laugh together,
we cry together,

1990
01:28:55,454 --> 01:28:57,787
but we never look at each other,
do we?

1991
01:28:57,789 --> 01:29:00,756
Brad, it's not a microphone,
it's a mallet. See?

1992
01:29:00,758 --> 01:29:02,792
- They can hear you.
- You can still hear me, right?

1993
01:29:02,794 --> 01:29:04,327
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1994
01:29:04,329 --> 01:29:06,262
Take a look at each other.

1995
01:29:06,264 --> 01:29:07,930
- That's right.
- Hi.

1996
01:29:07,932 --> 01:29:10,934
Give a hug.
Give an embrace.

1997
01:29:10,936 --> 01:29:14,703
What we have here are the makings
of a really great Christmas party.

1998
01:29:14,705 --> 01:29:16,439
We have a Christmas tree.

1999
01:29:16,441 --> 01:29:18,608
We have music and snacks.

2000
01:29:18,610 --> 01:29:20,476
We have Christmas spirit.

2001
01:29:20,478 --> 01:29:21,912
We have mirth.

2002
01:29:21,914 --> 01:29:23,046
We have snow!

2003
01:29:23,048 --> 01:29:25,148
You know who doesn't
have snow?

2004
01:29:25,150 --> 01:29:27,687
I'll bet he knows who doesn't
have snow, don't you?

2005
01:29:30,188 --> 01:29:32,357
Yeah. Yeah, I know.

2006
01:29:33,325 --> 01:29:35,492
I know where there isn't snow.

2007
01:29:35,494 --> 01:29:39,595
<i>♪ And there won't be snow in
Africa</i>

2008
01:29:39,597 --> 01:29:42,334
<i>♪ This Christmastime!</i>

2009
01:29:44,203 --> 01:29:49,909
<i>♪ Do they know it's
Christmastime at all?</i>

2010
01:29:52,410 --> 01:29:53,877
Merry Christmas!

2011
01:29:53,879 --> 01:29:55,615
Merry Christmas, folks!

2012
01:29:57,115 --> 01:30:01,018
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2013
01:30:01,020 --> 01:30:05,255
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>

2014
01:30:05,257 --> 01:30:07,390
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2015
01:30:07,392 --> 01:30:09,193
What?

2016
01:30:09,195 --> 01:30:12,162
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime ♪</i>

2017
01:30:12,164 --> 01:30:14,264
"Sara.

2018
01:30:14,266 --> 01:30:16,265
"Beautiful and smart.

2019
01:30:16,267 --> 01:30:19,034
"The mom that everyone loves"?

2020
01:30:19,036 --> 01:30:22,007
Oh, my God.
She's basing a character on me!

2021
01:30:58,843 --> 01:31:00,076
All right, guys.

2022
01:31:00,078 --> 01:31:01,310
We're not gonna see them again
till Easter,

2023
01:31:01,312 --> 01:31:03,046
so everybody say good-bye
to El Padre and Pop-Pop.

2024
01:31:03,048 --> 01:31:04,948
- Bye, Dylan.
- Good-bye, El Padre!

2025
01:31:04,950 --> 01:31:06,315
Hey, next time you want
to shoot a guy,

2026
01:31:06,317 --> 01:31:09,318
don't just wing him,
go for center mass, okay?

2027
01:31:09,320 --> 01:31:10,355
Good-bye, Adrianna.

2028
01:31:12,624 --> 01:31:14,657
I don't want you to go, Pop-Pop!

2029
01:31:14,659 --> 01:31:15,891
- Really?
- Yeah, really?

2030
01:31:15,893 --> 01:31:17,260
Sure. Of course, he gets a hug.

2031
01:31:17,262 --> 01:31:20,363
Maybe you can call me and tell
me more Pop-Pop stories.
2032
01:31:20,365 --> 01:31:21,898
I would love to!

2033
01:31:21,900 --> 01:31:24,301
Oh. And I also signed you up
for SeniorMatch.com.

2034
01:31:24,303 --> 01:31:26,702
It's a dating website
for old people like you.

2035
01:31:26,704 --> 01:31:28,306
Thank you, sweetie.

2036
01:31:29,007 --> 01:31:30,908
Honey, it's your mom texting.

2037
01:31:30,910 --> 01:31:32,676
They're just getting
off the plane.

2038
01:31:32,678 --> 01:31:34,109
I'd better go
before they get here.

2039
01:31:34,111 --> 01:31:36,145
I don't want to make anything
awkward.

2040
01:31:36,147 --> 01:31:38,482
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, big man.

2041
01:31:38,484 --> 01:31:41,087
- Love you.
- I love you, too, Brad.

2042
01:31:42,120 --> 01:31:44,323
Hey, well, yeah,
you have a good flight.

2043
01:31:57,736 --> 01:31:59,702
Yeah, let's not get that going.

2044
01:31:59,704 --> 01:32:00,936
I agree. You've got to start
that younger.

2045
01:32:00,938 --> 01:32:02,137
We missed that window.

2046
01:32:02,139 --> 01:32:03,405
I really appreciate the gesture.

2047
01:32:03,407 --> 01:32:04,541
You do? Then okay.

2048
01:32:04,543 --> 01:32:06,743
- Hey. I'll see you, kid.
- See you soon, yeah.

2049
01:32:06,745 --> 01:32:08,144
Yeah, bye, kid.

2050
01:32:08,146 --> 01:32:10,816
- Are you coming, Pop-Pop?
- Come on, Captain!

2051
01:32:11,348 --> 01:32:13,116
Bye, Dad.

2052
01:32:13,118 --> 01:32:15,118
You know, Don,
I've been thinking.

2053
01:32:15,120 --> 01:32:16,720
You don't need a dating app.

2054
01:32:16,722 --> 01:32:19,020
What you need is a wingman.

2055
01:32:19,022 --> 01:32:20,657
I switched our flights to Vegas.

2056
01:32:20,659 --> 01:32:22,759
New Year's at Caesar's,
fix you right up.

2057
01:32:22,761 --> 01:32:24,894
That sounds wonderful!

2058
01:32:24,896 --> 01:32:26,896
Where are we connecting through?

2059
01:32:26,898 --> 01:32:28,966
Don't start with me, Pop-Pop.

2060
01:32:28,968 --> 01:32:31,167
Hey, Braddie.
Don't be nervous now.

2061
01:32:31,169 --> 01:32:35,104
You are the kindest, most gentle
and honest guy I know.

2062
01:32:35,106 --> 01:32:37,774
And whoever your mother
brings down that escalator,

2063
01:32:37,776 --> 01:32:39,376
he's gonna love you,
you hear me?

2064
01:32:39,378 --> 01:32:40,513
Grandma!

2065
01:32:44,650 --> 01:32:46,252
Is that Sully?

2066
01:32:46,817 --> 01:32:48,351
Wait, wait, who?

2067
01:32:48,353 --> 01:32:49,585
Sully Sullenberger.

2068
01:32:49,587 --> 01:32:52,421
The guy who saved 155 passengers
on the miracle on the Hudson!

2069
01:32:52,423 --> 01:32:54,224
Clint Eastwood made
a frickin' movie about it.

2070
01:32:54,226 --> 01:32:56,091
Wait. We watched it at your
house, it was awesome!

2071
01:32:56,093 --> 01:32:57,560
Right. Tom Hanks
and Aaron Eckhart.

2072
01:32:57,562 --> 01:32:59,061
I really enjoyed it.

2073
01:32:59,063 --> 01:33:01,834
That guy is a national hero,
and he's gonna be your stepdad.

2074
01:33:02,200 --> 01:33:03,132
Wow. Amazing.

2075
01:33:03,134 --> 01:33:05,135
I bet you he gets free flight
vouchers.

2076
01:33:05,137 --> 01:33:07,136
And maybe get us some vouchers!

2077
01:33:07,138 --> 01:33:08,171
Maybe.

2078
01:33:08,173 --> 01:33:10,840
Well, don't make him wait.
Go say hi. Go! Go!

2079
01:33:10,842 --> 01:33:12,044
Grandma!

2080
01:33:13,512 --> 01:33:15,644
You must be Brad.

2081
01:33:15,646 --> 01:33:16,712
Nope.

2082
01:33:16,714 --> 01:33:18,648
- No, Brad.
- You're not my dad!

2083
01:33:18,650 --> 01:33:19,881
Brad, no, that's a mistake!

2084
01:33:19,883 --> 01:33:21,818
I don't care how
many lives you saved!

2085
01:33:21,820 --> 01:33:24,322
You'll never replace him,
do you hear me?

2086
01:33:26,624 --> 01:33:28,425
Brad, he's so nice! Come back!

2087
01:33:28,427 --> 01:33:32,431
You only have one good story,
my father has a million!

2088
01:35:06,258 --> 01:35:11,728
<i>♪ 103.6
The Panda ♪</i>

2089
01:35:11,730 --> 01:35:13,628
<i>You're listening to
Jason Sinclair at the Panda,</i>

2090
01:35:13,630 --> 01:35:16,198
<i>and I've got a little holiday
recipe for you tonight.</i>

2091
01:35:16,200 --> 01:35:19,301
<i>Two cups of eggnog,
one serving of silk pajamas,</i>

2092
01:35:19,303 --> 01:35:22,005
<i>and a heaping helping of a
loved one.</i>

2093
01:35:22,007 --> 01:35:24,640
<i>And I'm gonna add a pinch of
smooth jazz</i>

2094
01:35:24,642 --> 01:35:26,408
<i>on the Panda.</i>

2095
01:35:26,410 --> 01:35:27,976
<i>And I have one question
for you.</i>

2096
01:35:27,978 --> 01:35:29,244
<i>Do you know what time it is?</i>
2097
01:35:29,246 --> 01:35:31,482
<i>♪ It's Christmastime</i>

2098
01:35:33,051 --> 01:35:37,519
<i>♪ There's no need to be
afraid, Roger</i>

2099
01:35:37,521 --> 01:35:44,195
<i>♪ At Christmastime We let in
light and we banish shade</i>

2100
01:35:45,664 --> 01:35:50,332
<i>♪ And in our world of plenty</i>

2101
01:35:50,334 --> 01:35:54,537
<i>♪ We can spread a smile of joy</i>

2102
01:35:54,539 --> 01:35:58,006
<i>♪ Throw your arms around the
world</i>

2103
01:35:58,008 --> 01:36:00,545
<i>♪ At Christmastime</i>

2104
01:36:02,681 --> 01:36:04,450
<i>♪ But say a prayer</i>

2105
01:36:06,718 --> 01:36:10,953
<i>♪ Pray for the other ones!</i>

2106
01:36:10,955 --> 01:36:13,489
<i>♪ At Christmastime</i>

2107
01:36:13,491 --> 01:36:19,128
<i>♪ It's hard, but when you're
having fun</i>

2108
01:36:19,130 --> 01:36:24,067
<i>♪ There's a world outside
your window</i>

2109
01:36:24,069 --> 01:36:28,136
<i>♪ It's a world of dread and
fear</i>

2110
01:36:28,138 --> 01:36:32,708
<i>♪ Where the only water
flowing is</i>

2111
01:36:32,710 --> 01:36:35,580
<i>♪ The bitter sting of tears</i>

2112
01:36:36,681 --> 01:36:38,648
<i>♪ And the Christmas bells</i>

2113
01:36:38,650 --> 01:36:40,550
<i>♪ That ring there</i>

2114
01:36:40,552 --> 01:36:44,487
<i>♪ Are the clanging chimes of
doom</i>

2115
01:36:44,489 --> 01:36:48,225
<i>♪ Well, tonight thank God
it's them</i>

2116
01:36:48,227 --> 01:36:51,764
<i>♪ Instead of you</i>

2117
01:36:53,164 --> 01:36:57,132
<i>♪ And there won't be snow in
Africa</i>

2118
01:36:57,134 --> 01:37:00,071
<i>♪ This Christmastime!</i>

2119
01:37:01,706 --> 01:37:07,079
<i>♪ The greatest gift
They'll get this year is life</i>

2120
01:37:07,712 --> 01:37:09,912
<i>♪ Life, life</i>

2121
01:37:09,914 --> 01:37:14,050
<i>♪ Where nothing ever grows</i>

2122
01:37:14,052 --> 01:37:17,522
<i>♪ No rain nor rivers flow</i>

2123
01:37:18,624 --> 01:37:25,197
<i>♪ Do they know it's
Christmastime at all?</i>

2124
01:37:27,098 --> 01:37:28,898
<i>♪ Here's to you</i>

2125
01:37:28,900 --> 01:37:31,333
<i>♪ Raise a glass for everyone</i>

2126
01:37:31,335 --> 01:37:32,935
<i>♪ Here's to them</i>

2127
01:37:32,937 --> 01:37:35,372
<i>♪ Underneath that burning sun</i>

2128
01:37:35,374 --> 01:37:40,612
<i>♪ Do they know it's
Christmastime at all?</i>

2129
01:37:56,562 --> 01:38:00,462
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2130
01:38:00,464 --> 01:38:04,801
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>

2131
01:38:04,803 --> 01:38:08,738
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2132
01:38:08,740 --> 01:38:13,042
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>

2133
01:38:13,044 --> 01:38:17,146
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2134
01:38:17,148 --> 01:38:21,283
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>

2135
01:38:21,285 --> 01:38:25,488
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2136
01:38:25,490 --> 01:38:29,792
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>
2137
01:38:29,794 --> 01:38:33,695
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2138
01:38:33,697 --> 01:38:38,134
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime</i>

2139
01:38:38,136 --> 01:38:42,005
<i>♪ Feed the world</i>

2140
01:38:42,007 --> 01:38:48,547
<i>♪ Let them know it's
Christmastime again ♪</i>

2141
01:38:51,848 --> 01:38:54,650
You know. Last year, the folks
at St. Benedict's, they...

2142
01:38:54,652 --> 01:38:56,252
They had a... A modern-dress
Nativity.

2143
01:38:56,254 --> 01:38:59,956
Everybody hated it at first, but you
know the folks at St. Benedict's,

2144
01:38:59,958 --> 01:39:01,524
they got back at 'em, all right.

2145
01:39:01,526 --> 01:39:04,426
They won the prize for most
original.

2146
01:39:04,428 --> 01:39:07,863
Then, of course, you have
the Maplewood Christians.

2147
01:39:07,865 --> 01:39:12,537
They had a kind of friendly
competition with the Nazarenes,

2148
01:39:13,338 --> 01:39:16,872
and took all their hay
last year.

2149
01:39:16,874 --> 01:39:18,810
Yeah, you just try setting up

2150
01:39:19,910 --> 01:39:21,943
a Nativity without hay.

2151
01:39:21,945 --> 01:39:23,814
Merry Christmas, fellas!

2152
01:39:28,664 --> 01:39:33,664
Subtitles by explosiveskull

Das könnte Ihnen auch gefallen