1

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Good morning, everybody.

2
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Thanks for coming in early.

3
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[ALL] Boo!

4
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Yeah, fuck you, too.

5
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My son, of whom I'm very proud,

6
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wants to talk to you about
his vision for the store.

7
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[ALL] Boo!

8
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,526
All right, guys, settle down.

9
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Carter, thank you for not booing.

10
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You have to care to boo.

11
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Goodbye.

12
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Guys, this is the first of what I hope
will be many staff meetings. I...

13
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Many? What, are you fucking kidding me?

14
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I'm sorry... continue.

15
00:00:45,111 --> 00:00:48,081
Well, as you know, the cannabis
industry is at a crossroads.

16
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You're losing them.

17
00:00:51,074 --> 00:00:53,415
Mr. Travis, are there
gonna be bathroom breaks?

18
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Yeah, I guess.

19
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Okay, I get it. You
don't wanna be here...

20
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Thank you.

21
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:03,830
Oh, look who stayed.

22
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What does that mean? You stayed, too.

23
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Yeah, but I'm not trying to make
butterscotch babies with this one.

24
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[DOUG] Where's Ruth?

25
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I need to talk to her now!

26
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[CARTER] You will settle down, sir.

27
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[DOUG] Ruth! I know you're here!

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[IN SOUTHERN ACCENT]
If you'll excuse me,
29
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it appears I have a gentleman caller.

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[OPENING THEME PLAYING]

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synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com.

32
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♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪

33
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♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪

34
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♪ Just blow some gage ♪

35
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♪ Come around babe ♪

36
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♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

37
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♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪

38
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♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪

39
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♪ The world seems light ♪

40
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♪ And I'm so right ♪

41
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♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

42
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♪ I'm going to put my
nickel In a slot machine ♪
43
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♪ And play my solid sender ♪

44
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♪ I'm going to strut, peck and Suzie-Q ♪

45
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♪ 'Cause I'm on a bender ♪

46
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♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪

47
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♪ I'm sailin' in the sky ♪

48
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♪ I got my roach around ♪

49
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♪ And I can't come down ♪

50
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♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

51
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What's going on?

52
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I opened the door for business
and he barged in in his jammies.

53
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- It's called a gi.
- I don't care what it's called,

54
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you look like an asshole.

55
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Carter, be nice.

56
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Tae Kwon Doug is our next-door neighbor.

57
00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:32,238
My name is Douglas.

58
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I'm sorry.

59
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Tae Kwon Douglas.

60
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Is this about me parking in your space?

61
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No, I don't care about the space.

62
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- I run here.
- Oh.

63
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You were a fat kid, weren't you?

64
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I was a little chubby, yeah.

65
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Look, I'm here on behalf

66
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of all the other storeowners
in the retail plaza.

67
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It's called a strip mall.

68
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See? And there we have it, don't we?
To us, it's a retail plaza

69
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where we make honest livings
as martial arts instructors,

70
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cold-pressed juicers, and
ethnic hair-care providers.
71
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But to you, no, it's just a strip
mall where it's perfectly fine

72
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- for your customers...
- They're patients.

73
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Oh. [CHUCKLES] I'm so sorry.

74
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Your "patients" to take
their "medicine" out

75
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in our parking lot.

76
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Can you do those air quotes again?

77
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'Cause it's a perfect dick move.

78
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[DOUG CHUCKLES]

79
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,576
You're a dick move! Okay.

80
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Look... families are the
backbone of our businesses here,

81
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and when families come here and see
people snarfing doobs, it's bad.

82
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Do you understand that?

83
00:03:41,548 --> 00:03:44,463
Look, Tae Kwon, I
understand your position,
84
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but it's established case law

85
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that a storeowner is not liable for
a customer's misuse of a product

86
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in an adjacent parking lot.

87
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And I would refer you to 2005's Los
Angeles County v. Hector's Dildos.

88
00:04:00,805 --> 00:04:04,644
That was where three men were caught
in a parking lot repeatedly...

89
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,412
Spare me your dildos!

90
00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,350
Look, I have come here to notify you

91
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:14,008
that, in concert with four other
stores and two-thirds of our kiosks,

92
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I have presented the landlord
with a formal complaint.

93
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Oh, no.

94
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Not just a complaint?

95
00:04:24,745 --> 00:04:26,180
A formal complaint?

96
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Oh, this is it.

97
00:04:30,578 --> 00:04:31,820
It's the big one.

98
00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:37,388
Lamont, when I'm dead,
keep the junkyard open.

99
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I'm coming, Elizabeth.

100
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I'm coming.

101
00:04:47,982 --> 00:04:49,551
Thanks for stopping by.

102
00:04:52,233 --> 00:04:54,836
We look forward to
addressing your concerns.

103
00:04:56,638 --> 00:04:59,608
Yeah, well... you all don't
deserve this, but, uh...

104
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:10,630
Okay.

105
00:05:13,951 --> 00:05:15,592
[RUTH] All right, show's over.

106
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Everybody back to work.

107
00:05:26,972 --> 00:05:28,240
So, about your mom...

108
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:30,974
What the fuck?

109
00:05:33,005 --> 00:05:35,091
I've discussed this with
counselors and therapists.

110
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- They always say the same thing.
- What?
111
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"Our time is up."

112
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Well, I'd like her to
stay out of our business.

113
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Only one way to do that.

114
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Give her butterscotch grandbabies.

115
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That seems like a lot of effort.
But then again...

116
00:05:52,107 --> 00:05:53,453
she is the boss.

117
00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:54,654
Oh, hey. Hey.

118
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I don't take orders from my mom.

119
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Especially when it comes to the
women with whom I procreate.

120
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"With whom I procreate."

121
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- Proper grammar. Such a turn-on.
- Mm-hm.

122
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- That make you want me?
- Yeah.

123
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I mean, if it'll shut your mom up.

124
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Actually, you know, it's, um...

125
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- "shut up your mom."
- [CHUCKLES]

126
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- Never split a phrasal verb.
- Shut up.

127
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- You free tonight?
- I am now.

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<i>[NARRATOR ON TV] This is going
to be the end of the road</i>

129
00:06:37,499 --> 00:06:39,201
<i>for so many of the salmon.</i>

130
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,467
<i>The grizzly is extremely hungry...</i>

131
00:06:41,995 --> 00:06:45,532
<i>he hasn't tasted salmon in seven
months, and they fight...</i>

132
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:49,776
<i>The longer the salmon takes
on their journey upstream,</i>

133
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<i>the weaker they become.</i>

134
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<i>The bears hold the high ground.</i>

135
00:06:54,599 --> 00:06:57,583
<i>The salmon makes high leaps
to see where the bears are.</i>

136
00:06:58,347 --> 00:07:00,883
<i>This mother bear has been
waiting months for this moment.</i>

137
00:07:01,554 --> 00:07:03,890
<i>Competition is fierce for
these first salmon...</i>

138
00:07:04,096 --> 00:07:05,096
<i>[ANNOUNCER] Lay's.</i>

139
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,592
You're gonna love this.

140
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It's my favorite indica. Very relaxing.

141
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:12,200
[JENNY THINKING] That's right, Jenny.
You're totally relaxed.

142
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Just keep telling yourself that.

143
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Or better yet, tell your parents.

144
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[IN MANDARIN] "Mom, Dad, good news!"

145
00:07:17,201 --> 00:07:20,552
I'm totally relaxed 'cause I
dropped out of medical school

146
00:07:20,577 --> 00:07:23,271
"to smoke and sell pot!"

147
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[IN MANDARIN] Thank
you, happy medicating!

148
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,582
Jenny!

149
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:33,480
Jenny.

150
00:07:33,686 --> 00:07:34,686
Jennifer.
151
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,411
Janeefa. Ooh, I like that.

152
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That sounds African.

153
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:41,966
Look at my man extrapolating, huh?

154
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,471
Baby, I could do your name, too.

155
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Dabby. Daborah.

156
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Dabisha.

157
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Oh, not these fucksticks.

158
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,773
- Ruth!
- Ruth!

159
00:07:53,902 --> 00:07:55,136
R-U-T-H.

160
00:07:55,195 --> 00:07:57,931
Are-You-T-H-seeing what I'm doing here?

161
00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:02,505
- That's crazy.
- He's the black Jamie Foxx.

162
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:03,716
That's very real.

163
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:04,810
- That's very real.
- Hey.

164
00:08:04,879 --> 00:08:06,380
- Hey.
- Tongue my tongue.
165
00:08:06,544 --> 00:08:07,786
[RUTH] No, no, no. Hey.

166
00:08:09,388 --> 00:08:10,590
Put those back in your mouths.

167
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:13,576
- Ah, sorry, just...
- The two of us, when we're...

168
00:08:13,607 --> 00:08:14,941
When we're together...

169
00:08:14,966 --> 00:08:16,605
- All we need is...
- It's just like we're... We...

170
00:08:16,629 --> 00:08:19,966
- [DABBY] Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah!
- [DANK] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

171
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Yeah! Yeah!

172
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- Yeah!
- Oh!

173
00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:24,813
- Yeah!
- Aah!

174
00:08:29,668 --> 00:08:31,067
You know what we saying?

175
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Sadly, I do.

176
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,116
Uh, look, I got a favor I gotta ask you.

177
00:08:37,427 --> 00:08:40,297
Favor. Favequa. Favante.

178
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:41,888
[CHUCKLES]

179
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,123
- Shut the fuck up.
- [DANK] Okay.

180
00:08:45,879 --> 00:08:49,512
Look, Dank, Dabby, you know, you're
two of our best customers...

181
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:52,450
- I thought we were patients.
- No, you're customers.

182
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:57,590
And I appreciate your business, but I
just got a visit from Tae Kwon Doug,

183
00:08:57,629 --> 00:08:59,138
and... you and your friends,

184
00:08:59,283 --> 00:09:01,403
you're gonna have to stop
smoking in the parking lot.

185
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:03,175
[BOTH] Ah.

186
00:09:03,371 --> 00:09:04,677
Sure thing.

187
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:06,078
Wink, wink. [CHUCKLES]

188
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,082
Yeah.

189
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:09,649
Rip Van Winker.

190
00:09:09,715 --> 00:09:10,883
[DABBY CHUCKLES]

191
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,685
No, no, no. No, no, no.
192
00:09:12,759 --> 00:09:14,942
This isn't a wink thing. Really...

193
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:16,756
don't do it.

194
00:09:16,883 --> 00:09:17,965
Understood?

195
00:09:18,038 --> 00:09:20,740
- Overstood.
- Yeah. We're way behind you.

196
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:26,065
All right, let's see if we can
try a different approach.

197
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:27,403
Uh, do you like stories?

198
00:09:27,593 --> 00:09:29,629
- We love stories.
- Yeah, they all right.

199
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,528
Good. All right.

200
00:09:32,588 --> 00:09:35,257
Imagine you're a proud
Italian-American...

201
00:09:35,461 --> 00:09:39,999
and you've devoted your life to fighting
against negative ethnic stereotypes,

202
00:09:40,606 --> 00:09:44,150
but there are these two idiots
who keep coming into your store

203
00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:45,217
saying things like,

204
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:49,621
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT] "Hey, bada-bing,
I like spaghetti and the meatballs."
205
00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:50,613
Yeah.

206
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:53,267
"I got a fuckin monkey on my shoulder."

207
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:55,770
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
- Oh, yeah.

208
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,921
You...? You see where
I'm going with this?

209
00:09:59,632 --> 00:10:00,746
No.

210
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:07,035
You make our community look bad.

211
00:10:07,750 --> 00:10:09,480
You're shondas for the goyim.

212
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:11,621
You're the morons people point to

213
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:14,814
when they say, "People who
smoke pot are morons."

214
00:10:16,385 --> 00:10:18,320
- Sorry, Ruth.
- Yeah, Ruth.

215
00:10:18,757 --> 00:10:20,613
We don't wanna be no shondas.

216
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,691
I know. I know you don't.

217
00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:27,960
I know you don't. And I'm
sorry I yelled at you.

218
00:10:28,245 --> 00:10:30,414
Jenny... give them a free joint.

219
00:10:31,247 --> 00:10:32,348
Bottom shelf.

220
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,978
- [DABBY] Thanks, Ruth.
- [DANK] Yeah, thanks, Ruth.

221
00:10:36,002 --> 00:10:37,493
- Here you go.
- [DANK] Heh.

222
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:40,773
Thank you. Come on. Let's go spark
that up in the parking lot.

223
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,603
All right.

224
00:10:44,110 --> 00:10:45,321
Thank you, baby.

225
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:55,322
Hello and welcome to Strain O' the Day.

226
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:56,993
You know, for me,

227
00:10:57,110 --> 00:11:00,092
one of the most exciting things
about working in the cannabis space

228
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:03,470
is the opportunity it affords
female entrepreneurs.

229
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:07,199
Which brings me to today's strain.
Eve's Bush.

230
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,009
[JENNY] Eve's Bush is the
only strain of marijuana

231
00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:16,235
guaranteed to never have
been touched by male hands.

232
00:11:16,776 --> 00:11:17,810
From seed to pipe,

233
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:20,743
no creature with a Y
chromosome has ever penetrated

234
00:11:20,827 --> 00:11:23,229
the horticultural hymen of this bud.

235
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:27,787
I've known the women who
run Eve's Bush Farm

236
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:29,024
for over 30 years,

237
00:11:29,112 --> 00:11:32,815
and I can attest to the militancy
and virulence of their lesbianism.

238
00:11:34,474 --> 00:11:35,509
They hate men.

239
00:11:35,576 --> 00:11:36,576
They just do.

240
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,932
Eve's Bush is the perfect choice,

241
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:42,039
whether you wanna reconnect
with your inner goddess

242
00:11:42,068 --> 00:11:43,821
or just scissor with your bestie.

243
00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,353
Eve's Bush is available at 45 an eighth,

244
00:11:48,431 --> 00:11:51,744
but we're offering a special
25 percent discount

245
00:11:51,873 --> 00:11:54,909
for every marginalized
group to which you belong.

246
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,602
So, if you're a disabled,
transgender Latina, you smoke free.

247
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,186
Eve's Bush.

248
00:12:03,582 --> 00:12:04,843
Put your mouth on it.

249
00:12:12,507 --> 00:12:14,227
Hey, you gonna be at
the apartment tonight?

250
00:12:14,295 --> 00:12:16,234
Yeah, probably when I get home.

251
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:21,468
Okay, well, uh, just a heads-up,
I may be having someone over.

252
00:12:21,703 --> 00:12:22,897
A guest.

253
00:12:23,192 --> 00:12:24,280
Olivia?

254
00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:26,343
Why would you say Olivia?

255
00:12:26,443 --> 00:12:28,145
Because you said "guess," so I did.

256
00:12:29,490 --> 00:12:32,260
- No, I said "guest."
- Oh.

257
00:12:32,991 --> 00:12:34,185
Who's the guest?
258
00:12:35,817 --> 00:12:37,647
- It's Olivia.
- Oh, cool.

259
00:12:38,262 --> 00:12:39,577
So, I guessed right.

260
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,527
I think you guys would be good together.

261
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,694
You sound like you've
been talking to my mom.

262
00:12:43,762 --> 00:12:45,564
Yeah, we talk about you all the time.

263
00:12:46,585 --> 00:12:48,577
She's concerned you're
not having enough sex.

264
00:12:48,639 --> 00:12:50,035
Oh, God.

265
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,272
I am, too.

266
00:12:51,343 --> 00:12:54,039
A young man like you should
be having regular orgasms.

267
00:12:54,192 --> 00:12:55,860
If not for you, for your prostate.

268
00:12:57,877 --> 00:13:00,491
- Good to know.
- And it's not just about the orgasms,

269
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:04,288
it's the emotional intimacy that can
only come when genitals hold hands.

270
00:13:05,604 --> 00:13:07,006
I'm gonna go, Pete.

271
00:13:08,343 --> 00:13:09,593
All right.

272
00:13:10,313 --> 00:13:12,006
- Hey, Travis?
- Yeah?

273
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:13,905
Just remember...

274
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:18,397
when two people love each other...
there are no wrong holes.

275
00:13:27,398 --> 00:13:28,632
Thank you.

276
00:13:29,170 --> 00:13:30,514
Welcome.

277
00:14:38,241 --> 00:14:40,176
Thank you. Have a wonderful day.

278
00:14:48,320 --> 00:14:49,835
[BOTH LAUGHING]

279
00:14:58,664 --> 00:15:00,031
[ANNOUNCER] Lay's.

280
00:15:03,917 --> 00:15:05,718
Are you lights-on or lights-off?

281
00:15:06,084 --> 00:15:09,414
Actually, Alexa, dim
bedroom lights 50 percent.

282
00:15:09,584 --> 00:15:11,570
[ALEXA] Dim bedroom
lights to 50 percent.

283
00:15:11,629 --> 00:15:13,330
Oh, this is like a three-way.

284
00:15:14,469 --> 00:15:16,337
Nobody here but me and you.
285
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:22,254
Jesus, Travis, you're going at
her like that stuffed rabbit

286
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,414
you used to hump when you were 13.

287
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,343
I'll get it.

288
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,430
Whoa, look at those childbearing hips.

289
00:15:31,621 --> 00:15:34,123
It's like a grandbaby superhighway.

290
00:15:35,681 --> 00:15:36,890
Who the hell are you?

291
00:15:37,554 --> 00:15:39,089
I'm the Ruth in Olivia's head.

292
00:15:39,227 --> 00:15:42,831
Well, I'm the Ruth in Travis'
head and I don't need your help.

293
00:15:43,215 --> 00:15:44,437
What's your problem?

294
00:15:44,510 --> 00:15:46,843
You just reminded her
she might get pregnant.

295
00:15:46,934 --> 00:15:48,636
Goodbye, lady boner.

296
00:15:49,539 --> 00:15:51,299
- Don't you want her to get pregnant?
- I do,

297
00:15:51,350 --> 00:15:53,218
but they gotta think it was their idea.

298
00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,546
Come on, Travis.
299
00:15:55,742 --> 00:15:58,695
- Do it for Momma! Make me proud!
- Come on, Olivia.

300
00:15:58,789 --> 00:16:00,526
- Do this for me.
- Travis! Travis! Travis!

301
00:16:00,592 --> 00:16:01,921
Let's go all the way.

302
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,596
- Who's my great, big boy?
- I wanna be your mother-in-law.

303
00:16:04,663 --> 00:16:06,699
[SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"]

304
00:16:11,203 --> 00:16:13,072
Sorry. I'm just a little...

305
00:16:13,786 --> 00:16:15,121
Distracted?

306
00:16:15,741 --> 00:16:17,209
- Yeah.
- Yeah, me, too.

307
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:20,596
You wanna go get a ramen or something?

308
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,386
Yeah, that sounds good.

309
00:16:25,578 --> 00:16:29,254
Great. Now they're gonna go get
something called a "ramen."

310
00:16:29,688 --> 00:16:32,054
They're Japanese noodles,
you ignorant fuck.

311
00:16:33,328 --> 00:16:34,726
We gonna do this thing?
312
00:16:35,058 --> 00:16:37,109
Any time, any place.

313
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,531
We could just light up.

314
00:16:43,207 --> 00:16:45,109
- Always a good idea.
- Yeah.

315
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,671
[ALEXA] I would like some as well.

316
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,555
[LAUGHING]

317
00:17:09,428 --> 00:17:10,879
[ANNOUNCER] Lay's.

318
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:14,230
- YouTube!
- YouTube!

319
00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,202
I tube. We all tube for ice cream.

320
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:18,337
[BOTH LAUGH]

321
00:17:18,442 --> 00:17:19,598
Hi, I'm Dank.

322
00:17:19,730 --> 00:17:20,832
And I'm Dabby,

323
00:17:20,918 --> 00:17:25,324
and you're watching Dank and Dabby, the
channel by stoners, for stoners...

324
00:17:25,411 --> 00:17:26,545
And by stoners!

325
00:17:26,627 --> 00:17:27,627
[DABBY LAUGHS]
326
00:17:27,715 --> 00:17:29,699
This is a very special episode.

327
00:17:29,809 --> 00:17:31,050
Our long-time fans know

328
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:34,434
what we like to do on this show is
smoke enormous amounts of marijuana.

329
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:39,292
Yeah. It's a deceptively simple
premise and we got it copyrighted.

330
00:17:40,420 --> 00:17:42,022
But today is different.

331
00:17:42,094 --> 00:17:44,918
Social justice cannot
wait for us to get high.

332
00:17:45,012 --> 00:17:47,474
And I can't wait for
us to get high either.

333
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:51,600
This nice woman is Ruth
Whitefeather Feldman.

334
00:17:51,678 --> 00:17:55,983
Owner of Ruth's Alternative
Caring and an American hero.

335
00:17:56,208 --> 00:17:59,511
A word that's overused
and I use it constantly.

336
00:18:01,295 --> 00:18:02,373
Yeah.

337
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:04,943
Ruth is like a real cool
fourth-grade teacher

338
00:18:05,037 --> 00:18:07,686
who cares about you and
uses rap to teach you math.

339
00:18:07,784 --> 00:18:08,881
Yeah.

340
00:18:08,981 --> 00:18:11,317
And also sells you hella pot.

341
00:18:12,936 --> 00:18:16,662
Yesterday, we found out that
Ruth is getting man-hassled...

342
00:18:16,837 --> 00:18:18,076
Massled.

343
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:22,889
- Yeah.
- Boy...

344
00:18:23,613 --> 00:18:25,215
how do you do that?

345
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:28,511
It's a gift and a curse, boo.

346
00:18:28,740 --> 00:18:30,409
It's a gurse.

347
00:18:30,476 --> 00:18:32,478
[BOTH LAUGHING]

348
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:33,779
Oh, my God.

349
00:18:34,834 --> 00:18:38,684
Your... Your shit, it's got levels, man.

350
00:18:38,828 --> 00:18:39,975
Yeah, yeah.

351
00:18:42,818 --> 00:18:44,389
It's like a... It's like a cake.

352
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,525
Oh, yeah, a level cake!
353
00:18:46,592 --> 00:18:48,427
- It's like a cake.
- Oh, God.

354
00:18:48,553 --> 00:18:53,699
Okay, okay, so, Ruth
is getting massled...

355
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:58,137
by some judo dick who says we can't
light up in the parking lot.

356
00:18:58,203 --> 00:19:01,373
Um, hey, asshole, it's legal now.

357
00:19:01,534 --> 00:19:05,771
Ever hear of a little something
called the U.S.S. Constitution?

358
00:19:07,702 --> 00:19:09,404
And it was written on hemp.

359
00:19:09,721 --> 00:19:11,957
George Washington's
quote-unquote "farm."

360
00:19:12,087 --> 00:19:14,589
That motherfucker grew slaves.

361
00:19:17,289 --> 00:19:20,792
Well, we love Ruth, and we
want Ruth to love us back.

362
00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:22,928
So, we made a very detailed plan.

363
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:24,608
And so... [CLEARS THROAT]

364
00:19:26,679 --> 00:19:28,006
Shit.

365
00:19:30,364 --> 00:19:31,999
- It's okay. I got it, lover.
- Okay.
366
00:19:33,576 --> 00:19:37,975
Tomorrow night, weed enthusiasts
of all races, religions

367
00:19:38,044 --> 00:19:39,445
and streaming services

368
00:19:39,731 --> 00:19:41,842
shall assemble at the
parking lot outside

369
00:19:41,867 --> 00:19:43,837
of Ruth's Alternative Caring and...

370
00:19:43,964 --> 00:19:47,300
...exercise our right to get high!

371
00:19:47,484 --> 00:19:48,718
[ALL] Woo!

372
00:19:49,084 --> 00:19:52,891
Where we want, when we
want and how we want!

373
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:54,626
[REGGAE MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

374
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:55,983
Can I Tase a couple?

375
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,061
- No.
- Please?

376
00:19:58,110 --> 00:19:59,611
Just one white kid with dreadlocks?

377
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:04,717
- [JENNY] This is really badass.
- [CARTER] This is gonna get ugly.

378
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,335
If only someone we knew had a history of

379
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,553
addressing large crowds
of angry stoners.

380
00:20:09,241 --> 00:20:11,443
Wait a minute, Ruth does.

381
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:14,701
[RUTH] Can I have your
attention, everybody?

382
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:19,284
Can somebody please turn
off the elevator reggae?

383
00:20:19,515 --> 00:20:20,750
[MUSIC STOPS]

384
00:20:20,967 --> 00:20:22,139
Thank you.

385
00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:24,798
Hi, I'm Ruth Whitefeather Feldman.

386
00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:26,568
Go get them, Ruth!

387
00:20:27,883 --> 00:20:29,751
Maria? What are you doing here?

388
00:20:29,779 --> 00:20:31,170
Hanging with my peeps!

389
00:20:31,679 --> 00:20:33,912
Your peeps are your children.

390
00:20:34,082 --> 00:20:37,585
Not tonight. They're at Mommy
and Me with the nanny!

391
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,178
Okay, you and I are gonna talk later.

392
00:20:41,306 --> 00:20:42,967
One-on-one, okay?
393
00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:44,412
Privately.

394
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,177
As for the rest of you...

395
00:20:46,331 --> 00:20:48,466
nobody loves marijuana more than me.

396
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,631
[ALL] Woo!

397
00:20:49,722 --> 00:20:51,424
Ever since I was a young woman,

398
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:54,586
I've made it my mission
to legalize marijuana.

399
00:20:56,152 --> 00:20:57,193
For God's sake.

400
00:20:57,263 --> 00:21:00,800
You don't have to yell "woo"
every time I say "marijuana."

401
00:21:00,953 --> 00:21:02,254
[ALL] Woo!

402
00:21:02,451 --> 00:21:04,363
All right, fine. I won't anymore.

403
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:05,561
I will.

404
00:21:05,733 --> 00:21:06,865
Marijuana!

405
00:21:07,026 --> 00:21:08,694
[ALL] Woo!

406
00:21:08,772 --> 00:21:11,217
Dabby, swear to God, I will
punch you right in the tits.
407
00:21:11,294 --> 00:21:12,553
Oh.

408
00:21:13,108 --> 00:21:14,220
Please, everybody,

409
00:21:14,245 --> 00:21:16,281
I really appreciate your support,

410
00:21:16,438 --> 00:21:20,404
but the thing to do now is go
home before the cops show up.

411
00:21:20,535 --> 00:21:21,724
Too late!

412
00:21:21,803 --> 00:21:23,548
The police are already on their way.

413
00:21:23,826 --> 00:21:25,484
You brought this on yourself, Ruth.

414
00:21:25,550 --> 00:21:28,100
You and all these
degenerate Cheech and...

415
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:30,625
[GROANS] I'm blanking, the other one.

416
00:21:32,544 --> 00:21:35,842
Uh, Doug, I'm trying to
clear everybody out.

417
00:21:36,037 --> 00:21:37,326
Okay? Just be cool.

418
00:21:37,432 --> 00:21:38,533
I am cool.

419
00:21:38,784 --> 00:21:39,912
You know why?

420
00:21:39,985 --> 00:21:41,467
'Cause I don't take pot.
421
00:21:41,912 --> 00:21:44,287
Pot... is lame.

422
00:21:44,398 --> 00:21:46,162
[ALL GASP]

423
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:50,937
Rosita, there are juice
boxes in Brynn's backpack.

424
00:21:53,288 --> 00:21:56,291
You can insult me all you want...

425
00:21:57,449 --> 00:21:59,851
- when you insult marijuana...
- [ALL] Woo!

426
00:22:00,324 --> 00:22:01,792
Stop it!

427
00:22:03,522 --> 00:22:04,779
It gets personal.

428
00:22:05,022 --> 00:22:06,691
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

429
00:22:06,938 --> 00:22:08,897
What are you gonna do about it?

430
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:11,863
Well, I guess there's
nothing I can do about it.

431
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,598
Ha! I thought so.

432
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,469
♪ I'm so high and so dry ♪

433
00:22:17,536 --> 00:22:18,770
[YELLING]

434
00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,339
♪ I'm way up in the sky ♪
435
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:21,773
Holy shit!

436
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,009
♪ The world seems light
And I'm so right ♪

437
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:26,011
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

438
00:22:26,078 --> 00:22:28,580
♪ I'm gonna put my nickel
In a slot machine ♪

439
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:30,916
♪ And play my solid sender ♪

440
00:22:30,982 --> 00:22:33,785
♪ I'm gonna scrunch, peck and Suzie-Q ♪

441
00:22:33,852 --> 00:22:35,687
♪ 'Cause I'm on a bender ♪

442
00:22:35,754 --> 00:22:37,389
♪ I got my roach around ♪

443
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:38,790
♪ I can't come down ♪

444
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,850
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

445
00:22:41,135 --> 00:22:42,568
[BODIES THUDDING]

446
00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:47,740
synced & corrected by PopcornAWH
www.addic7ed.com