1

00:00:12,529 --> 00:00:14,156

Man, this is amazing.

2
00:00:14,865 --> 00:00:18,786
You know, I haven't smoked
in four, maybe five hours.

3
00:00:19,995 --> 00:00:21,914
Mm, you forget how good it is.

4
00:00:23,749 --> 00:00:27,544
But it'll never be as
good as the miracle weed.

5
00:00:28,837 --> 00:00:31,423
Hey, the DEA took it.

6
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,258
It's gone, let it go.

7
00:00:33,342 --> 00:00:35,719
You know? Let it live
on as a happy memory,

8
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,472
like that hot girl you
lucked into in college.

9
00:00:38,764 --> 00:00:41,266
You can't keep refreshing
her Facebook page

10
00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:43,519
hoping her status changes to divorced.

11
00:00:45,771 --> 00:00:46,855
Thanks, Travis.

12
00:00:47,856 --> 00:00:49,775
And I really hope you find love.

13
00:00:51,902 --> 00:00:53,904
I wasn't talking about myself. Pfft.

14
00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:57,408
I forgot about Amanda 30
seconds after she dumped me.

15
00:01:00,911 --> 00:01:02,746
I gotta go check Facebook.

16
00:01:08,127 --> 00:01:10,045
God, I miss those plants.

17
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:15,300
It's a shame I murdered each and
every one of them in the forest.

18
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,013
Or did I?

19
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:24,726
Oh, no, I did.

20
00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:29,773
Unless...

21
00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:36,947
♪ Somewhere not here ♪

22
00:01:38,657 --> 00:01:43,245
♪ At my old camping site ♪

23
00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:48,792
♪ My favorite pot plant ♪

24
00:01:49,168 --> 00:01:54,548
♪ Is missing me tonight ♪

25
00:01:56,467 --> 00:02:01,346
♪ Somewhere not here ♪

26
00:02:02,097 --> 00:02:07,186
♪ In his dispensary ♪

27
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:12,649
♪ My daddy's singing ♪

28
00:02:13,108 --> 00:02:18,280
♪ A strange duet with me ♪
29
00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:24,995
♪ Though my grow was taken by the DEA ♪

30
00:02:25,162 --> 00:02:31,335
♪ It helps to think that somewhere ♪
♪ There's a plant that got away ♪

31
00:02:31,668 --> 00:02:34,171
♪ Though deep down he knows ♪

32
00:02:34,338 --> 00:02:37,216
♪ My voice is in his head ♪

33
00:02:37,508 --> 00:02:40,135
♪ It helps him to imagine ♪

34
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:45,516
♪ I'm a little girl instead ♪

35
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,351
Oh.

36
00:02:49,853 --> 00:02:52,564
♪ Somewhere not here ♪

37
00:02:52,648 --> 00:02:55,275
♪ Somewhere not here ♪

38
00:02:55,359 --> 00:02:58,153
♪ About an hour drive ♪

39
00:02:58,237 --> 00:03:01,114
♪ About an hour drive ♪

40
00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:05,369
- ♪ My wonderful Sadie ♪
- ♪ My wonderful Daddy ♪

41
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:11,458
- ♪ Is somewhere not here ♪
- ♪ Is somewhere not here ♪

42
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:14,920
♪ And somehow ♪
43
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:22,469
♪ She's alive ♪

44
00:03:24,429 --> 00:03:25,472
Dougie!

45
00:03:27,891 --> 00:03:29,893
I have to go back to the woods.

46
00:03:36,692 --> 00:03:40,362
♪ Somewhere not here ♪

47
00:03:46,118 --> 00:03:47,118
♪ I'm so high... ♪

48
00:03:49,121 --> 00:03:50,539
♪ Jack, I'm mellow ♪

49
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:01,675
Whoa.

50
00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,344
- Who's this?
- Oh, this?

51
00:04:04,428 --> 00:04:08,807
- This is Jasmine, my therapy parrot.
- Wow.

52
00:04:08,890 --> 00:04:11,209
When you said you're
going to a therapist,

53
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:13,228
I had a different picture in my head.

54
00:04:14,563 --> 00:04:16,023
I know it seems crazy,

55
00:04:16,106 --> 00:04:18,108
- but it's helping me through issues.
- Mm.

56
00:04:18,650 --> 00:04:21,612
Is one issue that you don't
look enough like a pirate?

57
00:04:22,237 --> 00:04:25,741
You don't think I took a selfie
wearing an eye patch? Girl, stop.

58
00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:30,268
She helps me get stuff off my chest

59
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:32,039
I'm uncomfortable
saying to other people.

60
00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:34,249
Oh, my God, she's here.

61
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:38,795
Hi, Jasmine, I'm Jenny.
I've heard so much about you,

62
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,006
and I brought you a cracker.

63
00:04:41,089 --> 00:04:43,675
Mm-mm. Babe, she gluten-free.

64
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:45,636
Oh, sorry.

65
00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,137
Olivia wants a cracker.

66
00:04:50,974 --> 00:04:54,186
Travis, I'm headed out. I'm
speaking at a march today.

67
00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:56,480
Wow. Back on the rally
circuit. Good for you.

68
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:57,689
Good for the world.

69
00:04:58,857 --> 00:05:00,192
Check out this lineup.
70
00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:04,029
There's a senator, and a
lesbian folk singer, Bill Nye.

71
00:05:04,112 --> 00:05:06,907
I believe he's some
kind of a science guy.

72
00:05:07,532 --> 00:05:10,535
And then, "With Ruth
Whitefeather Feldman."

73
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:17,918
We all see this eagle, right?

74
00:05:19,503 --> 00:05:22,255
'Cause I been smoking
a lot of weed today.

75
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:25,467
Ruth, this is Jasmine,
my therapy parrot.

76
00:05:26,343 --> 00:05:28,845
Therapy parrot. I'd watch that show.

77
00:05:31,890 --> 00:05:34,434
All right. I'm off to
save the environment.

78
00:05:34,518 --> 00:05:36,853
This says "end voting rights abuses."

79
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:40,232
Oh, even better, there'll
be black guys there.

80
00:05:41,233 --> 00:05:42,692
Wish me luck.

81
00:05:50,742 --> 00:05:54,413
- Mom, are you okay?
- No, and I'm gonna sue.

82
00:05:54,496 --> 00:05:57,249
Sue? It's our store.

83
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:01,044
Right. Drag me over to Tae Kwon Doug's.

84
00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:12,180
Oh, what's up, YouTube?

85
00:06:12,264 --> 00:06:14,599
You notice anything different about us?

86
00:06:15,517 --> 00:06:17,185
Oh!

87
00:06:17,269 --> 00:06:21,189
Yeah, that's right. The feds gave
us these matching ankle bracelets

88
00:06:21,273 --> 00:06:24,776
because we're serving
30 days of house arrest.

89
00:06:24,860 --> 00:06:29,030
They look like Fitbits, but if we
get off the couch, they explode.

90
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,320
Yeah, and so, since we can't go outside

91
00:06:33,321 --> 00:06:35,370
and do all the normal
stuff we like to do,

92
00:06:35,454 --> 00:06:38,123
we got ourselves an intern.

93
00:06:38,206 --> 00:06:39,583
- Zach!
- Zach!

94
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,084
It's his first day.

95
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,211
I got your Funyuns, Dabby.
96
00:06:43,879 --> 00:06:46,756
What? What is this bowl shit?

97
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:50,259
Dabby likes her Funyuns
in a bag, asshole.

98
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,053
What do they teach you at that college?

99
00:06:52,429 --> 00:06:54,890
Media Arts and
Interdisciplinary Studies.

100
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,393
- Should I put the Funyuns back in the bag?
- No.

101
00:06:58,477 --> 00:07:01,771
No, you don't put them in the bag.
We'll keep them in the bowl now.

102
00:07:04,566 --> 00:07:05,609
Now I'm confused.

103
00:07:06,735 --> 00:07:08,987
Put them in the goddamn bag!

104
00:07:09,070 --> 00:07:10,822
- Yes, ma'am.
- Get out of here.

105
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:13,617
- Ah. Love him.
- Great kid, bright future.

106
00:07:15,327 --> 00:07:17,662
- He goes to Emerson.
- You're an Emerson.

107
00:07:18,830 --> 00:07:21,666
- What does that mean?
- Emer-some big titties.

108
00:07:24,252 --> 00:07:28,423
Oh. Oh, my God. You guys are so lucky.
109
00:07:28,507 --> 00:07:31,593
You just all are
witness to his greatness.

110
00:07:32,344 --> 00:07:36,973
Hey, Zach, this is why you're unpaid.
Your compensation is his genius.

111
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:38,892
And you should be dankful.

112
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:41,436
Oh, my...

113
00:07:41,937 --> 00:07:44,564
You did it again, goddamn it.

114
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:45,981
Hey, Zach!

115
00:07:46,650 --> 00:07:47,901
Fetch the lotion.

116
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,159
Hey, great Tae Kwon
Do-cersize class, ladies.

117
00:07:57,202 --> 00:08:00,288
You really left it all on
the mat. Especially you, Dina.

118
00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:03,458
You sweat a lot for a thin
woman. That's a compliment.

119
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,584
Well...

120
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:14,935
Whoa, what do we have here? Hey, buddy.

121
00:08:14,936 --> 00:08:17,055
You moving out? You
need a place to crash?
122
00:08:17,138 --> 00:08:19,766
I got a spare futon.
Next to my regular futon.

123
00:08:19,850 --> 00:08:21,476
Living the dream, right?

124
00:08:22,143 --> 00:08:24,521
Thanks, but I'm not moving out, Douglas.

125
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:27,899
I'm going to the woods. There's
something I need to find.

126
00:08:27,983 --> 00:08:29,317
Oh, boy, I hear that.

127
00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:33,238
Nothing like being out in the
woods alone, finding yourself.

128
00:08:33,655 --> 00:08:36,283
Just you and the solitude of nature.

129
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:39,077
You mind if I tag along?

130
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:42,205
Oh, uh, I guess I
wouldn't mind some company.

131
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,584
Oh, no, I'm not just company.
I'm a skilled outdoorsman.

132
00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:48,670
I can survive out in the
woods two weeks, easy.

133
00:08:48,753 --> 00:08:50,232
The key is preparation.

134
00:08:50,233 --> 00:08:53,300
For instance, I like to pack
two weeks' worth of food.
135
00:08:53,383 --> 00:08:56,803
Well, I think I've
got enough food, so...

136
00:08:56,887 --> 00:09:00,974
You packing your gorp? You know,
good old raisins and peanuts.

137
00:09:01,391 --> 00:09:04,603
I like to mix my own
blend. I add extra pepitas.

138
00:09:05,228 --> 00:09:07,147
Those are little pumpkin seeds.

139
00:09:07,230 --> 00:09:11,234
You know what? I got my camping
go-bag. Fire it up, you blast the air.

140
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:14,237
I got a mix tape that's
gonna Yacht Rock your world.

141
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:18,033
- Wanna know where we're going or how long?
- Nope! No spoilers!

142
00:09:24,205 --> 00:09:25,205
How's the ankle?

143
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,041
It's good.

144
00:09:27,792 --> 00:09:30,295
The CBD oil is treating it topically.

145
00:09:30,879 --> 00:09:33,924
And this TrainWreck
is treating my lungs...

146
00:09:34,591 --> 00:09:36,635
inside, being lungsily.

147
00:09:40,347 --> 00:09:42,098
Mom, that's a strong strain.
148
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:43,639
"Oh, Mommy, be careful,

149
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,894
that weed is really, really strong."

150
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:51,733
Obviously, it's making
you more of an asshole.

151
00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:56,988
But it's not gonna cure a broken
bone. You need to go to a doctor.

152
00:09:57,072 --> 00:09:58,865
Travis, will you never learn?

153
00:09:59,824 --> 00:10:01,743
Western health care is a racket.

154
00:10:02,369 --> 00:10:04,496
You get sick, you go to the doctor,

155
00:10:04,579 --> 00:10:07,624
they tell you what's wrong,
they give you medicine,

156
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,752
you're all healed and
ready for the next illness.

157
00:10:10,835 --> 00:10:12,462
When will the madness end?

158
00:10:15,090 --> 00:10:16,090
Now?

159
00:10:19,678 --> 00:10:22,347
I don't know. Should
we let him in, Jasmine?

160
00:10:22,931 --> 00:10:24,432
Hm? You sure?

161
00:10:26,184 --> 00:10:28,520
I don't know. You look
kind of shady to me.

162
00:10:29,980 --> 00:10:31,982
But Jasmine says you're cool.

163
00:10:36,111 --> 00:10:38,780
Nice work. Eskimo kisses.

164
00:10:38,863 --> 00:10:40,323
Mm.

165
00:10:41,116 --> 00:10:42,575
Wow.

166
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,286
Cute couple alert.

167
00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:49,791
Adorable. It's nice
to see him connecting.

168
00:10:49,874 --> 00:10:52,168
Your claws tickle.

169
00:10:53,461 --> 00:10:56,840
- Aw, they're so affectionate.
- Yeah.

170
00:11:00,969 --> 00:11:03,021
He gets weird about
holding my hand at IKEA,

171
00:11:03,022 --> 00:11:05,473
but sure, mouth-feed a bird.

172
00:11:07,851 --> 00:11:10,520
- You're not jealous of a parrot, are you?
- No.

173
00:11:11,813 --> 00:11:13,857
Jasmine is kind of a slut name.

174
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:16,151
You are jealous.
175
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:18,403
That's hilarious.

176
00:11:29,873 --> 00:11:31,416
Boo! Gotcha.

177
00:11:32,542 --> 00:11:34,878
Yeah, I'm hard to spot in my camo gi.

178
00:11:36,504 --> 00:11:40,508
- You were gone a long time.
- Oh, yeah, I lost one of my camping Crocs,

179
00:11:40,592 --> 00:11:43,428
and it took a while to get
it back from the beaver.

180
00:11:44,012 --> 00:11:45,889
- No problem, Douglas.
- Get ready.

181
00:11:45,972 --> 00:11:49,225
I'll teach you how to build
a fire using two sticks,

182
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,561
- a match and some lighter fluid.
- Yeah?

183
00:11:52,228 --> 00:11:53,271
Sounds good.

184
00:11:59,611 --> 00:12:00,611
Wow.

185
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:02,322
Did you find that?

186
00:12:03,615 --> 00:12:05,200
- No, I made it.
- Wow.

187
00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,202
Be careful of the trip wire.

188
00:12:07,285 --> 00:12:08,995
- What is that for?
- Security.

189
00:12:10,079 --> 00:12:13,124
A trick from the compound
to keep the outsiders away.

190
00:12:13,208 --> 00:12:14,501
Here, let me show you.

191
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,675
So, you've been camping before.

192
00:12:24,302 --> 00:12:27,305
We're close to where I was
the last time I was here.

193
00:12:27,889 --> 00:12:30,809
As soon as we're set up, I
wanna find what I'm looking for.

194
00:12:30,892 --> 00:12:32,519
I'm right there with you.

195
00:13:24,112 --> 00:13:26,656
Douglas, fire ants are
crawling over your Crocs.

196
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:30,285
Nice try. I'm a little too
experienced to fall for that one.

197
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,411
Ow, though.

198
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:36,082
- Ow! Yeah. Ow!
- Yeah. Yeah, wait there.

199
00:13:44,465 --> 00:13:45,717
Well observed.

200
00:13:47,802 --> 00:13:50,889
Oh, hi. I didn't see you there.

201
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:56,561
I'm Travis Feldman, the maverick
co-owner of Ruth's Alternative Caring.

202
00:13:56,644 --> 00:13:58,271
I'm a man of many passions.

203
00:13:58,354 --> 00:14:00,231
Art. Literature.

204
00:14:00,815 --> 00:14:02,734
Pornography that tells a story.

205
00:14:04,235 --> 00:14:06,696
But my greatest passion
is fine cannabis,

206
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:10,992
which is why I'm pleased to
introduce Travissimo Private Reserve.

207
00:14:11,242 --> 00:14:13,661
Travissimo.

208
00:14:16,539 --> 00:14:20,627
Travissimo PR is a personally
curated mix of my favorite indicas,

209
00:14:20,710 --> 00:14:23,171
sativas and hybrids.

210
00:14:24,214 --> 00:14:26,007
Travissimo.

211
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:29,427
Each custom-packed canister
has been hand-numbered

212
00:14:29,510 --> 00:14:32,096
to ensure maximum sequentiality.

213
00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,181
Don't believe me?

214
00:14:34,182 --> 00:14:35,182
Eight.
215
00:14:36,226 --> 00:14:38,436
Eight.

216
00:14:38,519 --> 00:14:39,938
But how does it smoke?

217
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:43,858
Come on.

218
00:14:49,197 --> 00:14:50,198
Ah...

219
00:14:51,449 --> 00:14:53,701
As smooth as the man I named it after.

220
00:14:54,911 --> 00:14:56,704
Travissimo Private Reserve.

221
00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:59,916
It's like having a little
bit of me inside you.

222
00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:02,543
Ew.

223
00:15:03,920 --> 00:15:04,920
Guys?

224
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:09,467
- Travissimo.
- Mm. Yes.

225
00:15:17,392 --> 00:15:20,186
You are a really good listener, Jasmine.

226
00:15:25,066 --> 00:15:27,568
I've never actually told anybody this...

227
00:15:28,861 --> 00:15:31,864
but ever since I was a teenager, I've...

228
00:15:32,657 --> 00:15:33,950
I've always loved...
229
00:15:35,535 --> 00:15:37,787
- I've always wanted to try to...
- Hey.

230
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,163
Hey. Hey.

231
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:44,544
Am I interrupting?

232
00:15:45,128 --> 00:15:49,048
Interrupting? No. I
was talking to Jasmine,

233
00:15:49,132 --> 00:15:50,359
then I stopped because you came in.

234
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,677
That interrupting?
Not where I come from.

235
00:15:54,012 --> 00:15:55,012
Okay.

236
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,765
Well, I should probably head back.

237
00:15:57,849 --> 00:16:00,310
Should I head back, or
should I stay, or... ?

238
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,437
No, no. No, yeah, yeah.

239
00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,188
You... Yeah. You should stay.

240
00:16:05,106 --> 00:16:06,149
If you want to.

241
00:16:08,484 --> 00:16:11,029
- Okay, cool. I'll stay.
- All right.

242
00:16:15,658 --> 00:16:17,577
- I'll go. Yeah.
- Okay. All right.

243
00:16:34,218 --> 00:16:37,638
You did the right thing getting
the hell out of medical school,

244
00:16:37,722 --> 00:16:40,350
or as I call it, Quack U.

245
00:16:42,852 --> 00:16:45,855
Ruth, I didn't go to med
school. That was Jenny.

246
00:16:46,856 --> 00:16:48,358
Agree to disagree.

247
00:16:49,692 --> 00:16:53,946
See, I treated my ankle with
CBD oil and a shit-ton of weed,

248
00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,615
and I'm walking just fine.

249
00:16:55,698 --> 00:16:58,284
You're not walking at all.

250
00:16:58,993 --> 00:17:01,537
That's 'cause walking
is for suckers, Jenny.

251
00:17:03,664 --> 00:17:06,209
Oh. Oh, wait. That's Jenny.

252
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:08,544
Who the fuck are you?

253
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:15,385
Oh, you're the Shitball lady.

254
00:17:15,968 --> 00:17:19,138
I love your Shitballs.

255
00:17:19,222 --> 00:17:21,057
Can I have your autograph?
256
00:17:28,356 --> 00:17:32,110
I caught Carter telling Jasmine
something he didn't want me to hear.

257
00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:36,280
Isn't that the point? He tells her
stuff he's not comfortable saying?

258
00:17:36,364 --> 00:17:38,366
Did the bird get to you, too?

259
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:54,549
Okay. Here's what you
gotta do about the bird.

260
00:17:55,758 --> 00:17:57,093
What's her name again?

261
00:17:57,176 --> 00:18:00,221
- Jasmine.
- Ja... ? That's a slut name.

262
00:18:04,225 --> 00:18:07,979
Okay. I think what Ruth would
say if she were here right now...

263
00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:12,483
is if it's bothering
you, talk to Carter.

264
00:18:12,567 --> 00:18:13,567
Fuck that!

265
00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:17,280
Fuck that shit right in the ear!

266
00:18:18,823 --> 00:18:21,367
You gotta... You gotta talk to the bird.

267
00:18:23,327 --> 00:18:25,121
You say...

268
00:18:33,421 --> 00:18:35,047
You say, "Bird, listen up."

269
00:18:42,972 --> 00:18:44,223
"Cheep!"

270
00:18:48,436 --> 00:18:49,854
"Cheep, cheep, chee... "

271
00:19:04,118 --> 00:19:06,579
You don't have the
balls to be this high.

272
00:19:21,636 --> 00:19:23,137
Breakfast.

273
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:28,267
I'm hungry.

274
00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,694
Take it from Krinkles, that's me,

275
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:43,115
the best breakfast under the
big top is Sugar Pot Krinkles.

276
00:19:43,199 --> 00:19:46,702
So krinkly, so delicious, so different.

277
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:52,667
Each nug of pot in Sugar Pot Krinkles
is krinkled with honey and sugar.

278
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:57,463
It's so good, I krinkle
every time I eat it.

279
00:20:01,467 --> 00:20:05,304
Yep, no matter what other
pot cereal you've ever tried,

280
00:20:05,388 --> 00:20:08,849
you'll love Sugar Pot
Krinkles best of all.

281
00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:12,562
Honey and sugar makes it
different and wonderful.

282
00:20:12,645 --> 00:20:14,355
A circus of fun to eat.

283
00:20:14,438 --> 00:20:18,651
So, you krinkle on down to the
store for Sugar Pot Krinkles.

284
00:20:18,734 --> 00:20:21,571
The greatest cannabis treat on Earth.

285
00:20:26,576 --> 00:20:28,995
And the next morning, when he woke up...

286
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:32,331
there was a handprint
outside of his tent,

287
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:36,586
which only had three fingers.

288
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,588
No.

289
00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:41,549
Scared, right? You look so scared.

290
00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:47,555
Thank you for the great story,
Douglas. The ending was a surprise.

291
00:20:48,139 --> 00:20:50,933
Now that camp's set up, I
need to search the woods.

292
00:20:51,017 --> 00:20:52,435
Right. Yeah, of course.

293
00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:55,271
Hey. While we walk, I'll
tell you another story.

294
00:20:55,354 --> 00:20:58,608
So, it was a bright and
sunny day, just like today...

295
00:21:04,113 --> 00:21:06,073
Hey. Ruth.

296
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,704
Oh, thank God it's you.

297
00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:14,123
Who are you?

298
00:21:15,291 --> 00:21:17,627
I'm Cheryl. I came to
your women's seminar.

299
00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:20,713
I invented my own pot-based
currency, Pot Coin.

300
00:21:22,006 --> 00:21:24,417
Oh. Oh, right. You're the one who thinks

301
00:21:24,418 --> 00:21:26,135
the banks are plotting to kill us.

302
00:21:26,218 --> 00:21:29,472
No, I'm the one who knows the
banks are plotting to kill us.

303
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:34,101
I went to that rally to see
you. And you never showed up.

304
00:21:34,185 --> 00:21:35,353
Sorry.

305
00:21:35,436 --> 00:21:38,522
I left halfway through
some bullshit science guy...

306
00:21:39,398 --> 00:21:41,734
'cause they were charging
5 bucks for water.

307
00:21:41,817 --> 00:21:44,195
Like I'm gonna touch a 5-dollar bill.

308
00:21:44,278 --> 00:21:46,864
Everyone knows that that's
how the Federal Reserve

309
00:21:46,865 --> 00:21:48,700
spreads Mad Cow disease.

310
00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:51,952
I guess it's best to use a credit card.

311
00:21:52,620 --> 00:21:54,953
Right, so that the bank can send my data

312
00:21:54,954 --> 00:21:56,832
to the Bulgarian sex traffickers.

313
00:21:58,542 --> 00:21:59,669
But you get miles.

314
00:22:01,796 --> 00:22:06,217
Uh, Cheryl, I appreciate your
injecting a little whimsy into my day,

315
00:22:06,300 --> 00:22:08,135
but I'm actually kind of hurt.

316
00:22:08,219 --> 00:22:10,763
- What happened?
- I twisted my ankle.

317
00:22:12,014 --> 00:22:14,517
- What did the doctor say?
- I don't go to the doctor.

318
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,479
Western medicine is a scam and
a conspiracy, you know that.

319
00:22:19,522 --> 00:22:21,732
What the fuck are you
talking about, Ruth?

320
00:22:22,191 --> 00:22:23,191
What?

321
00:22:23,192 --> 00:22:28,030
You are insane. America has the
greatest doctors in the world.
322
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,491
While alternative
medicine has its place,

323
00:22:30,574 --> 00:22:34,412
it needs to be integrated into
a responsible scientific approach

324
00:22:34,495 --> 00:22:38,124
incorporating both Eastern
and Western treatments.

325
00:22:38,916 --> 00:22:39,916
Am I right?

326
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:43,920
You are.

327
00:22:45,881 --> 00:22:47,216
How did that happen?

328
00:22:49,969 --> 00:22:54,014
- I guess I'll go to the doctor.
- That's the reasonable thing to do.

329
00:22:54,098 --> 00:22:55,742
Don't give them your
social security number,

330
00:22:55,766 --> 00:22:59,353
because they will harvest your
organs and sell them in Thailand.

331
00:23:04,275 --> 00:23:05,275
Thailand.

332
00:23:07,361 --> 00:23:11,490
- Jenny, could you get me some Thai food?
- I am not fucking Jenny!

333
00:23:15,578 --> 00:23:18,998
And when I'd go hiking with
my dad, he'd say stuff like:

334
00:23:19,081 --> 00:23:20,708
"Try to keep up, Crisco."

335
00:23:21,292 --> 00:23:24,295
- Crisco?
- Yeah, 'cause I was fat in the can.

336
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:28,006
This is it.

337
00:23:28,466 --> 00:23:29,717
This is the place.

338
00:23:30,759 --> 00:23:32,636
Oh, no, no, no. Sadie.

339
00:23:33,471 --> 00:23:35,347
I'm too late. She's dead.

340
00:23:35,431 --> 00:23:38,434
Ooh, you find a dead body?
We're gonna be on the news.

341
00:23:39,477 --> 00:23:40,478
Oh, my God.

342
00:23:41,562 --> 00:23:42,980
These are her seedlings.

343
00:23:43,564 --> 00:23:45,065
Sadie had children.

344
00:23:45,149 --> 00:23:47,651
- There's nothing out here but weeds.
- No...

345
00:23:47,735 --> 00:23:50,279
Sadie, my marijuana plant, had babies.

346
00:23:50,821 --> 00:23:54,158
- Gotta get these to the dispensary.
- Whoa, wait a minute.

347
00:23:54,241 --> 00:23:56,494
These weeds are "weed" weeds?

348
00:23:57,620 --> 00:24:00,498
You dragged me out
here to find baby drugs?

349
00:24:01,957 --> 00:24:03,876
- Die, babies.
- Oh, no, no!

350
00:24:03,959 --> 00:24:05,419
No, Douglas, stop!

351
00:24:05,503 --> 00:24:07,963
Stop! I can't let you do that.

352
00:24:08,047 --> 00:24:09,632
I can't let you not let me.

353
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:11,133
- Die, babies.
- No, no.

354
00:24:16,305 --> 00:24:19,475
I thought this trip was about
finding your sense of purpose.

355
00:24:19,558 --> 00:24:20,768
This is my purpose.

356
00:24:22,895 --> 00:24:25,064
You would choose pot over me?

357
00:24:27,024 --> 00:24:30,110
I'm sorry, Douglas, but if
you're making me choose...

358
00:24:30,903 --> 00:24:31,903
then yes.

359
00:24:54,927 --> 00:24:56,929
Hey, Carter, I need to talk to...

360
00:25:00,808 --> 00:25:02,560
Oh, it's you.

361
00:25:06,772 --> 00:25:08,774
Did he say when he was coming back?
362
00:25:09,358 --> 00:25:11,026
Why am I talking to a bird?

363
00:25:11,569 --> 00:25:14,446
'Cause you know your
man likes me better.

364
00:25:17,157 --> 00:25:18,284
What?

365
00:25:18,367 --> 00:25:19,743
You heard me.

366
00:25:20,077 --> 00:25:23,122
He trusts me with all his secrets.

367
00:25:24,164 --> 00:25:25,416
Like what?

368
00:25:25,499 --> 00:25:28,502
Well, if I told you, it
wouldn't be secret, dum-dum.

369
00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:32,339
I know what you're up to,
and it's not gonna work.

370
00:25:32,423 --> 00:25:33,632
What are you saying?

371
00:25:33,716 --> 00:25:37,136
I'm saying back the fuck up,
bitch. I'm serious. I will cut you.

372
00:25:37,219 --> 00:25:39,138
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

373
00:25:39,888 --> 00:25:43,309
Whoa. Are you gonna fight Jazzy?

374
00:25:43,892 --> 00:25:45,978
Jazzy? Why does she have a pet name?

375
00:25:47,980 --> 00:25:50,149
Because she's a pet.

376
00:25:52,985 --> 00:25:53,985
Babe, why... ?

377
00:25:54,403 --> 00:25:55,572
Why are you acting all crazy?

378
00:25:55,573 --> 00:25:58,866
Is this 'cause I wouldn't
hold your hand at IKEA?

379
00:25:59,575 --> 00:26:00,784
No, it's 'cause, I...

380
00:26:03,954 --> 00:26:05,164
I'm your girlfriend.

381
00:26:05,748 --> 00:26:09,585
It's tough for me to see you opening
up to someone else and not me.

382
00:26:10,878 --> 00:26:13,756
- I don't know, this is weird.
- Yes, yes. It... It...

383
00:26:15,466 --> 00:26:16,550
I know it's weird.

384
00:26:17,885 --> 00:26:21,805
One of the reasons why Dr.
Silverman thought Jasmine...

385
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:26,435
would be good for me is so I
could learn to open up to you more.

386
00:26:27,102 --> 00:26:28,102
Oh, well...

387
00:26:29,980 --> 00:26:31,106
I would like that.

388
00:26:32,441 --> 00:26:37,571
And earlier, when you walked
in... I was telling Jasmine that...
389
00:26:39,114 --> 00:26:40,824
Look, I know this sounds dumb.

390
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,580
But I've always wanted
to... try stand-up comedy.

391
00:26:47,748 --> 00:26:48,748
Maybe.

392
00:26:50,709 --> 00:26:52,878
I don't think that sounds dumb at all.

393
00:26:55,047 --> 00:26:57,466
But don't you have to be funny for that?

394
00:27:02,096 --> 00:27:03,555
Are you heckling me?

395
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,809
I wanted the first one to come from me.

396
00:27:13,357 --> 00:27:15,442
Does he let you shit on him?

397
00:27:19,863 --> 00:27:21,240
I didn't think so.

398
00:27:32,543 --> 00:27:33,971
It's really hard to look cool on this,

399
00:27:33,972 --> 00:27:37,005
which makes my achievement remarkable.

400
00:27:39,675 --> 00:27:41,885
So, you finally went to the doctor.

401
00:27:41,969 --> 00:27:44,221
Yeah, Cheryl talked me into it.

402
00:27:44,304 --> 00:27:48,225
Cheryl? You listened to
Cheryl? The woman who thinks
403
00:27:48,308 --> 00:27:51,812
if you fold a dollar bill right,
you will see Washington's dick?

404
00:27:54,773 --> 00:27:55,816
It's funny.

405
00:27:56,358 --> 00:28:00,696
When someone crazy tells you
you're crazy, you know you're crazy.

406
00:28:01,405 --> 00:28:04,491
But when someone sane tells
you, it's just annoying.

407
00:28:05,784 --> 00:28:06,994
I love you, too, Mom.

408
00:28:07,578 --> 00:28:09,121
Oh, speaking of love.

409
00:28:09,204 --> 00:28:11,749
Guess who I ran into
at the doctor's office.

410
00:28:12,332 --> 00:28:15,335
Amanda, that pretty girl
you dated in college.

411
00:28:15,419 --> 00:28:19,506
- Really? How is she? She's...
- Oh, so good. Super-pregnant.

412
00:28:21,508 --> 00:28:25,304
- Like getting-divorced pregnant?
- Oh, I doubt it.

413
00:28:25,387 --> 00:28:27,681
You should see her husband.

414
00:28:27,765 --> 00:28:30,934
Yeah. One look at him
practically made me pregnant.

415
00:28:36,106 --> 00:28:39,234
"Oh, hey, I'm Pothead Pete.
416
00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:42,404
All I care about is burfing snabs.

417
00:28:42,821 --> 00:28:46,492
I don't care about my best friend
and combat-sports instructor.

418
00:28:46,950 --> 00:28:48,786
I make stupid stuff in the woods,

419
00:28:48,869 --> 00:28:51,497
and I don't understand
simple ghost stories."

420
00:28:53,749 --> 00:28:55,959
You know what? I'm out of here.

421
00:28:58,087 --> 00:28:59,505
What the... ?

422
00:29:01,215 --> 00:29:03,842
F. Murray Abraham!

423
00:29:34,499 --> 00:29:39,499
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -