Social Skills / Friendship Group for Elementary School

Emily Lemons

Lewis and Clark College

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Social Skills / Friendship Group for Elementary School

Rationale

The developmental stage of a 3rd grader demonstrates a stance of testing the waters,

exploring their independence and leadership, authority. At times, this is also the age where peer

groups start to divide and conflicts begin to rise. Challenges made not only to peers but also to

authority figures, like teachers, can happen at this stage. Words begin to have heavier impacts,

and actions are weighted with judgement. Another aspect of this stage is the role of social media.

Students need to understand the importance of the use of words and actions person to person, but

also how the world of technology can hold those words forever. It is important to give this

moldable mind tools and skills, soft skills, to develop stronger and positive social habits during

this time. If left alone, these habits can create more division and become more negative.

In a captivating TED talk, neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor (2008) describes the conflict

between societal pressures for youth to be thinking machines, displaying a valued focused on

their level of higher cognitive process as successes, rather than social emotional skills. In reality,

Bolte Taylor says from her experience in her studies, it’s the other way around: “We are feeling

creature that think.” What a profound shift of thought! When applied to the developing minds of

students in pre-k through 12th grade, and specifically in this case 3rd graders, it is evident that

students are struggling to cope with their emotions when academic pressures placed on their

performance. Students are not always taught how to regulate or process their feelings, which can

translate into outbursts, bullying, and disrespectful behavior.

This also presents an important question about our education systems not considering that

perhaps our students are in need of social/emotional supports and interventions so that they can

better perform on the higher level of cognitive performance of academics. As a school

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counselor, it will be important to convey these social skills to all students through guidance

lessons. However, some students mind need a little more practice and encouragement outside of

the classroom, and this can be in the form of a small group. The small group setting provides

accountability and safety for a student to explore and practice new skills that will positively

impact their social skills and their friendship making ability.

Application of mindfulness tools would also be integrated into this group, ways to calm

down, with explanation of what is happening in the brain throughout the calming process. The

use of our words and how they can leave a lasting impression, in positive and negative ways.

This will be a great way to transition into the topic of gossip. Integrating empathy exercises and

discussion around the difference of perspectives and experiences will also help build in a sense

of empathy between group members.

ASCA National Model Mindsets & Behaviors

The focus of the group will be on the following Mindsets and Behaviors from the

American School Counselor Association (2017) standards. These standards capture the

academic, career, and personal/social domains of the skills that will be practiced in the friendship

group:

Mindsets Behaviors

M 1. Belief in development of whole self, B-LS 1. Demonstrate critical-thinking skills

including a healthy balance of mental,
social/emotional and physical well-being
M 2. Self-confidence in ability to succeed
M 3. Sense of belonging in the school
environment
to make informed decisions
B-LS 2. Demonstrate creativity
B-LS 4. Apply self-motivation and self
direction to learning
B-LS 7. Identify long- and short-term
academic, career and social/ emotional goals
B-SMS 2. Demonstrate self-discipline and
self-control
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M 4. Understanding that postsecondary B-SMS 3. Demonstrate ability to work

education and life-long learning are necessary
for long-term career success
M 5. Belief in using abilities to their fullest to
achieve high-quality results and outcomes
M 6. Positive attitude toward work and
learning
independently
B-SMS 6. Demonstrate ability to overcome
barriers to learning
B-SMS 7. Demonstrate effective coping skills
when faced with a problem
B-SS 2. Create positive and supportive
relationships with other students
B-SS 4. Demonstrate empathy
B-SS 5. Demonstrate ethical decision making
and social responsibility
B-SS 6. Use effective collaboration and
cooperation skills
B-SS 7. Use leadership and teamwork skills
to work effectively in diverse teams
B-SS 8. Demonstrate advocacy skills and
ability to assert self, when necessary
B-SS 9. Demonstrate social maturity and
behaviors appropriate to the situation and
environment

(American School Counselor Association, 2017)

Type of group & specification of group members

This group is a social skill building group, with an emphasis on the importance of our

words and actions when building friendships. Another aspect will be highlighted in the realm of

social media, where territories of friendships are explored in positive and negative ways.

Whether adults see this or not, social media is the future of how communities and relationships

will interact and form. The idea of this group is to teach and practice face to face relational skills

and develop a greater sense of empathy.

Most group members will be referred to the group because of a record of being in the

upper zones of regulation, where previous and current accounts of “yellow” and “red” zones

have been displayed. There will also be some model students who have displayed growth from

these zones, and can show other students the importance of trying new skills.
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All group members will be voluntary, and in the screening process evaluation of

resistance will be addressed as well as explaining the responsibilities that come with being a part

of a group, such as attendance. If three or more groups have been missed, the student will be

called in for individual meetings with the counselor to check in about reasons they are missing

group. Often times this can lead to discovery of other events or barriers in the students life that

need to be addressed.

Group leader

The school counselor will be the group leader for this group. As a school counselor, they

should be knowledgeable and experienced with skills that go in hand of facilitating a group.

Even if this could be the first group they led, I believe with a school counseling background they

would be successful in keeping the group engaged, fostering a space where students feel safe and

start to grow closer as a group. This cohesion and connection is the most important part of

leading groups!

Group announcement and student recruitment

The group will be announced to teachers, who can refer students who might need extra

social supports. Students who might have high disciplinary numbers of minor and major referrals

would most likely be the students who are referred; this data would be considered when

reviewing students. Having a model student would also be important to this group. Students who

may have had social challenges in younger grades, but have learned skills and have modeled the

use of them in 3rd grade.

Screening and selection

The screening process will begin with 1-on-1 questions with the student and counselor.

These questions would range from topics of experience with groups or team settings, do they
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understand the responsibilities that come with being involved with group, and are they okay with

sharing personal information in a group setting with other peers and the counselor.

Selection process would begin after screening students. Selection will depend on whether

or not potential group member seems ready for the group dynamic, student’s overall readiness to

participate in a group setting. After selection, group size will ideally be 6 students. If it was

evident that more students needed this, a school counselor would possibly form two groups so

that all students who are in need of this intervention would be served.

Group Logistics

Before recess/lunch group, students need recess. Students will need their recess, so this

group will be before recess/lunch so that they have time after the group to apply these skills. This

would be taking students out of class during the day to focus on these skills. 40 min group. 8

weeks, with one week afterwards for follow-up and post assessment with each student.

Curriculum and procedures

For the group curriculum, I have outlined an 8 Week Group complete with agenda topic

and procedures. This group will take up class time, however, the purpose of having students

leave class will equip them with self-regulation tools for when they reenter the classroom setting.

Each session will aim to be 40 mins, taking the place of the last 40 minutes before lunch and

recess. The group agenda will be timed like the following:

- opening 5-10mins
- activity 10-15mins (2 planned)
- process 10-15 mins
- closing 5-10 mins

To follow is the 8 week session agenda outline, including a 9th week for the individual

group member check in and post assessment with the school counselor.
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- Welcome to group- “my name is”

- Confidentiality
- Group agreements/name- “leaf it to
Week 1- Goals and Discussion me”
- Pre-survey
- Check out- feeling chart

- Check-in- – I mustache you a question

Week 2- Goals review /get to know you - Review group agreements
- Energizer- snowball toss
- Game –colored candy go around
- Check-out- color and why

- Check in- If you could grow a

garden… what and why?
- Energizer- reverse charades
Week 3- Calming down/mindfulness
- How to calm down after
conflict/Mindfulness practice/just
breathe video
- Check out- Talking Cards Activity

- Check in- feelings chart- how do you

feel today?
- Energizer- telephone charades
Week 4- Use of kind words /gossip - social
- Activity- Using the sand paper and
media
cotton ball- list words that might be
helpful
- Cotton ball and sandpaper words
activity/discussion
- Check out- Favorite dessert and why

- Check in- ball toss with questions

- (Reminder that there are only 2 more
groups after this)
Week 5- Think before you speak, Filtering
- Energizer- stacking cups with rubber
band/string
words – social media
- Activity- T.H.I.N.K. before you
speak- flower/tree craft or poster
- Check out- Something you learned
today
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- Check in- would you rather questions

- Energizer- Veggie stand off
Week 6- When conflict arises – social media
- Activity- What to do when conflict
arises- different scenarios- act it out?
- Check out- Something positive you
saw in another group member

- Check in- person in trees

- Energizer- Line up
Week 7- Characteristics of being a good
- Pixar video- Partly Cloudy
friend/Pixar video
- Discussion on video/posters with
partners- characteristics of a good
friend
- Share posters
- Check-out- description of happy place

- Check in- Paper plate hand

trace/strengths
Week 8- Last group - Energizer- freeze dance
- Activity- tape paper plates to back,
write 3 strengths in friendship
- Check out/close- pick something off
plate to share with group

- Meet individually with students from

group
Week 9 - Follow-up/post assessment
- Ask questions
- Post assessment survey
- Reward/certificate/PBIS?

Ethical considerations

An essential aspect of ethical practice within small groups revolves around

permission. According to ASCA Ethical Standards for School Counselors (2016), under section

A.2, the specifics of a school counselor’s ethical practice of confidentiality is described in detail.
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In this section, line (a.) states that school counselors “promote awareness of school counselor’s

ethical standards and legal mandates regarding confidentiality and the appropriate rationale and

procedures for disclosure of student data and information to school staff” (ASCA, 2016).

In order for a student to be in a small group, each student is required to obtain parental

consent via the group consent form. On this form, it would be important to outline the purpose of

the group, it’s duration, examples of topics, and confidentiality. It is most important that parents

and students understand that whatever is shared in group is to remain share only between the

individuals present in the group. To keep the space safe and honor each other, the group

members will make an agreement to respect the voices and stories shared within each group

session. If confidentiality is broken, students will be given the responsibility of the duty to

inform. The group will have decided what action should take place based on the the first sessions

agreements. However, if something that is shared during group that shows signs of a student

expressing self-harm or harm to others, the school counselor is legally responsible to report this

information to administration and to legal guardians.

Another ethical aspect is confidentiality between the counselor and staff. Teachers

might show concern about a certain student and ask the school counselor for more information

about what might be happening (this can also happen with legal guardian). It is the counselor’s

ethical responsibility to maintain confidentiality unless there is permission from the student.

Multicultural considerations

All groups are multicultural. All members of a group are all coming from different

experiences, environments, customs, cultures, perspectives, languages (verbal and non-verbal),

and backgrounds that feed into our daily choices. Group members are also coming from different

stages in their development; how they process information, emotions, and cope with these
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developmental transitions varies from individual to individual. It is important to point out that

multiculturalism in not solely focused on the ethnic background of a person. Celebrating

multiculturalism should highlight that our choices and preferences are impacted by what we

experience—even on a daily basis.

Evaluation

After closing out with a group, each student will have a follow up meeting with

counselor to process the group experience. The counselor would ask questions regarding if they

enjoyed the group experience, discuss the positives and maybe touch on goals that were formed

from the group. I also think it would be important to provide space for areas of improvement.

Perhaps this could be included in the post assessment survey which would be given at this time.

The post assessment would have the student reflect on the same questions they answered pre-

group. The results would then be gathered from all group members and compiled into data.
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References

American School Counselor Association (2016). ASCA ethical standards for school counselors.
Retrieved from www.schoolcounselor.org

American School Counselor Association (2017). ASCA mindsets and behaviors for student
success: K-12 college and career readiness standards for every student. Retrieved from:
https://www.schoolcounselor.org/asca/media/asca/home/MindsetsBehaviors.pdf

Bolte Taylor, J. (February, 2008). My stoke of insight. [video file]. Retrieved from

https://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight