KAPLAN UNIVERSITY

HW410 Stress: Critical Issues in

Management and Prevention

Stress
Management and
Prevention

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Program Resource
Guide

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 KA P L A N U N I V E R S I T Y

Stress Management and Prevention

Program Resource Guide

By

Jessie Gonzalez

Kaplan University

HW410: Stress: Critical Issues in Management and Prevention

August 4th, 2016

Table of Contents
UNIT 1 THE NATU RE OF STRESS

Information to Remember........................................................................4
Self-Assessment Exercises.......................................................................4
Journal Writing.........................................................................................5

UNIT 2 THE PHYSIO LOGY OF STRESS

Information to Remember........................................................................6
Self-Assessment Exercises.......................................................................6
Journal Writing.........................................................................................7

UNIT 3 PSYCHOLOGY OF STRESS

Information to Remember......................................................................12
Self-Assessment Exercises.....................................................................12
Journal Writing.......................................................................................12

UNIT 4 PERSONAL ITY TRAITS AND THE HUM AN SPIRITUAL ITY

Information to Remember......................................................................15
Self-Assessment Exercises.....................................................................15
Journal Writing.......................................................................................16

UNIT 5 DEAL ING WITH STRESS: COPING STRATE GIES

Information to Remember......................................................................23
Journal Writing.......................................................................................24

UNIT 6 REL AXATIO N TECHI QUES 1 : BREATHI NG , M EDITATI ON,

AND M ENTAL IM AGE RY

Information to Remember......................................................................27
Self-Assessment Exercises.....................................................................27
Journal Writing.......................................................................................28

UNIT 7 NUTRITI ON AND STRESS

Information to Remember......................................................................31
Self-Assessment Exercises.....................................................................31
UNIT 8 PHYSIC AL EXERCISE AND ACTIV ITY

Information to Remember......................................................................32
Self-Assessment Exercises.....................................................................32
Journal Writing.......................................................................................33

UNIT 9 APPLYING STRESS: CRITICAL ISSUES F OR M ANAGEM EN T

AND PREVE NTIO N TO YOUR PROF ESSI ONAL L IF E

Information to Remember......................................................................37

ADDITI ONAL INF ORM ATIO N

REF EREN CES

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 1
Unit

Unit 1: The Nature of Stress

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: In the textbook, we detected coping techniques to handle stressful situations.

Key Learning Point: Praying or meditation, dream therapy, forgiving, hobbies and social interaction are

all ways to help cope or relieve stress.

Key Learning Point: In the work book, we learned about mindful eating and taking time to really focus

on the activities we are doing at that moment in time.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
This exercise was to learn about stress and the breakdown of where it stems from. We created a pie graph

and showed how important our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being were to us. We then

expressed how stress affects us, and how we overcome a stressful day. Lastly, we explained where we go

to feel stress free and where the wellness paradigm is balanced.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

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Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Journal Writing:
Situation Start Midway End
Having more bills and obligations than money 10 10 10
Boss constantly making negative comments about me and 10 8 4
my department.
Lack of motivation to workout 7 4 8
Lack of confidence (body image) 8 8 8
Time Management (work, school, exercise, everyday life) 7 7 7
Having depression 7 8 6
Questioning self-worth constantly 7 6 5
Eating a well-balanced vegan diet so I don’t feel tired or 6 7 8
lack nutrients

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

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Unit 2: The Physiology of Stress

2
Unit

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Stress can affect every part of your body, stemming from the brain, down into limbs,

cells, joints, organs, and arteries.

Key Learning Point: Stress can cause long-term effects such as diseases.

Key Learning Point: Being more mindful and learning to connect with your emotions can help you

reduce stress and help you be more level headed in your thoughts and actions.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
This self-assessment assignment gave us a look into neuroscience and how stress effects the nervous

system. Physical and emotional pain included muscle tension, headaches, mood swings and behavioral

changes. The affect stress has on the body could develop illness such as irritable bowel syndrome. The

assignment also provided ways to help relieve the effects of stress on the body.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

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Journal Writing:
How is stress or anxiety about people affecting your life?

When I think about other people, certain people, some give me more anxiety than others. For

instance, when I think about my boyfriend’s ex-lovers (especially because most of them live in our

town and are still friends with people he hangs out with), I can’t help but to compare myself to them

or question if they still attempt to text message and contact him. I am a very self-conscious and body

conscious person and I do get jealous. I know past experiences should not shape my relationships

now, but it is easier said than done. Another person I sometimes get anxiety over is my mother. I have

not seen her since I was eight, and for about twelve years, I did not know if she was alive or dead.

There were many times where I would cry over her, or try to find her, but then when she did resurface,

I felt nothing but hate and anger and I choose to keep her far away from me. My siblings on the other

hand, strive to have a relationship with her, and she is constantly letting them down and when they

come to me about it, I get anxious and angry because she is hurting some of the people I love the

most. My step family causes stress as well. They are the type of people that if you do not agree with

them, they make your life miserable and have to constantly throw negative comments out at you and

when you call them out on it, YOU are the bad guy. Basically, the step family never ever does any

wrong. Walking on egg shells around people I personally do not care for is very stressful, especially if

they decide to bad mouth my sister, brother or father because although they are not perfect, I am

protective and I care about them. Another stressor is one of my bosses at work. He is not my direct

boss, but always seems to stick his nose in my department and make comments about how I do my

job literally from the moment he sees me in the morning from the moment I leave to go home at the

end of the day. I have told my head boss about his harassment, but because we are so desperate for

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people to work in our store, she does not really do anything about it. No matter what I do to avoid his

comments, he never stops. This stress affects me greatly at times and makes me depressed and

jumbles my thinking.

How is stress or anxiety about work affecting your life?

Work can be very stressful at times. With the boss I mentioned in the previous question, my

anxiety and anger flares up too much at times and I need to take a time out and close my office door

and just breathe a little before the next round of verbal punches come in. People come to me to vent

all day long. Do not get me wrong, I absolutely love the fact that people confine in me and value my

opinion on things, but some people are just so negative and no amount of positive feedback helping, it

is mentally draining. It seems some people live to be miserable. There are also people who try to take

advantage of me being a nice person and sticking my neck out for them and making sure they have

hours for the week. Just recently, I took on this one girl from another department because she was not

getting hours. She is a very young mom and is going through some legal issues with custody and her

own mother, so I offered her hours. This girl started taking advantage by coming in whenever she

wants and when she does work in my department, she is constantly taking hour long breaks, does not

finish her task and is constantly face-timing or has her music blasting in her ears while on the sales

floor, which is not permitted. People think that just because I am a young boss, I do not know

anything, which makes me angry and stressed because they are being discriminative against me and

not amount of effort I put into my work. This stress is not always major, but it is there and does wear

me down.

How is stress or anxiety about the world affecting your life?

Stress about the world does not really bother me. People are so angry when it comes to

politics, I try to stay out of it and kind of just live in my own little bubble. It is sad to see that people

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are getting shot and killed every day or the government and other countries are so corrupt, but nothing

is going to change. The way I see it is, no matter who is president or what new and improved plan

there is to change the world, there is always going to be a flaw. When I see things such as animal

cruelty, which makes me have a lot of anxiety to the point where I start to feel panicked. Animals are

defenseless and some look to us to feed, nurture and love them, then some people do horrible things to

the because they are bored or think it is comical and it breaks my heart. Another thing that bothers me

is people’s lack of caring about pollution. I am by no means a hippie, but I am aware of the things that

are harming the earth and I try to be more eco-friendly with things I purchase. When people are

ignorant and do not care, it gets me going, but is not exactly a major stressor in my life.

How is stress or anxiety about food and eating habits affecting your life?

Food and eating habits cause me a lot of anxiety and stress. I try to eat healthy for the most

part and prepare healthy meals for my boyfriend and roommate as well. I am very body conscious and

sometimes, it makes me physically sick how much stress I have about it. My boyfriend is very

physically fit. He boxes two to three times a week and when he is not boxing, he is exercising. I do

not always have the time to go for a long run or hit the gym, so I feel guilty. I compare myself to him

and I feel fat and guilty for the amount of food I eat sometimes. I get so obsessed with calorie

counting, I keep times of when I ate and how many calories each meal was and when I exceed 1200

calories, I start to panic and try to fill myself with water or refrain from eating even though I am

hungry. My boyfriend gets angry with me about how much I eat (he says I do not eat enough) which

also gives me anxiety and he says if I want to be lean like him, I should start working out more, but I

am perfect the way I am. I used to abuse laxatives, purposely throw up when I felt guilty about what I

ate and starve myself when I was younger because I was so obsessed with being skinny which no one

knew about. I stopped doing this after I collapsed at work a couple times (thank goodness I was

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always alone in my office somehow) and I saw a picture of myself and how skeleton-like I looked.

Eating makes me have a lot of anxiety.

How is stress or anxiety about sleep and sleeplessness affecting your life?

Stress and anxiety used to be very damaging to my sleep, but not so much anymore. There

were many times I would be stressing about something and I would lay in bed with my heart nearly

pounding out of my chest and I could not shut my brain off. There was a point in time when I was so

depressed and anxious and stressed I would sleep all day and cry all night. To help me with some

issues that were going on, I started to see a counselor which helped a bit with my anxiety, but not

completely. Being with my boyfriend now helps me a lot with sleeplessness and I suppose that is

because he helps me feel calmer.

How is stress or anxiety about exercise or lack of physical activity affecting your life?

I stress a lot about exercise. As I mentioned before, I compare myself (body wise) to others

and when I look in the mirror, I am always disgusted. I wish I had more time to dedicate to working

out, but it can be very tough at times to squeeze in a decent workout. I especially like to exercise

because I feel it helps with my depression and I feel a lot more optimistic after I do so. Lately, I am

very body conscious and it has been causing a lot of anxiety. I am going on a camping trip this

weekend and lately I feel very bloated and fat which makes me want to wear a potato sack or just not

even go. I also have a wedding to attend in July and I want to really wow my boyfriend with my

dress, but finding a dress in which I do not feel like I will look fat in or will show my gut in very

stressful to me. One of his good friends whom is another female who is going to the wedding asked

me to go dress shopping with her and of course I said yes, but I already feel sick to my stomach

thinking about the hard time I am going to have finding a dress. People think I am crazy for having

such anxiety over my body, but they do not see what I see and vice versa.

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Summary

3
Unit

Life is stressful. I try to stay positive and keep everyone positive around me, but it is not

always easy. I wish I could work on being more confident or maybe even just finding more time in the

day to be more active, but it is not always so easy. I hope that one day I can accept myself and realize

I am good enough and worth more than how some people make me feel. Being more confident is

something I would really love to do, but I know it will take some time. Writing this entry helped me

get some stuff off my chest which a lot of the time I keep pent up.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Unit 3: Psychology of Stress

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Learning to love yourself, learning to accept yourself, learning to be happy.

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 Key Learning Point: Freud believed that human instincts where the major reasons for stress and although

they could be tamed, they may never be diminished.

Key Learning Point: Carl Gustav Jung referred to the human mind as an iceberg, meaning there tip was

the personal unconscious and the biggest, deepest part was the collective unconscious.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
This exercise was designed to give you an eye-opener on your own self-awareness on your emotions. We

dipped into Tibetan culture and their insight on the mind and stress and then compared theorists and their

views on the mind. The assessment then had us come up with ways we can cope/manage stress and/or

resolve fear and then we also provided ways we can improve our communication skills.

Journal Writing:
This weekend was quite stressful for me. I worried about spending a camping trip with my

boyfriend’s friends, one of them being a girl he used to be intimate with. As soon as we got to the

camp site, I was filled with rage. I was quiet when he asked me questions, I was short and I spent

most of my time in the cabin while everyone was outside around the fire. We walked to the car, and I

snapped. I told him how I was furious about this girl and I know that being jealous and insecure

seemed stupid, but I could not help it. He assured me that he had eyes for no one but me and he hated

when I go like that because he did not want to be there anymore knowing I was not going to have a

good time. We sat silent for a bit and I left the car and took a walk near the lake. I sat there with

thousands of thoughts rushing through my head, but then I looked out towards the sunset, took a deep

breath, and did this exercise in the workbook. I breathed in and out and listened to my breathing and

the water lightly moving and feeling the slight breeze with the last bit of heat from the setting sun. It

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was peaceful and quiet and I focused on my breath. Suddenly, I felt calm and relaxed. I walked back

to the camp and carried on with the night with a sense of ease.

Yesterday was my birthday. I was a bit upset because my close friend, Lia and my two

brothers forgot to say happy birthday to me. My parents did not really seem to into celebrating and my

step grandmother did nothing but make nasty comments to me about stuff. My friend’s also bailed on

dinner, which at first, I attempted to keep a positive attitude about the whole situation thinking, “at

least my boyfriend tried to make my day special”, but today after work, I broke down. I did not care

about the presents, I cared about the company and no one could even do that for me. I am the type of

person that will go all out for someone’s birthday which includes their favorite dessert, dinner, and

presents and I was really hurt I could not even get some of the closest people to wish me a good day. I

voiced how disappointed I was to my dad, and he treated me to an early dinner which I felt was more

of a pity meal because he felt bad. I attempted to pick myself back up after the meal and cook for my

boyfriend and my roommate and then do the exercise again. Although it did not bring me fully to my

good spirit, it did help a bit.

I feel like continuing to do these stress reducing exercises will help with my emotions. After

doing these exercises, I feel like my body is less tense and I mentally feel more relaxed. Being more

mindful in the future will allow me to have a clearer mind with other stressful situations.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

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Unit 4: Personality Traits and the Human

4
Unit

Spirituality
Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Different personality types handle stress differently than others.

Key Learning Point: Being spiritual does not necessarily mean being religious.

Key Learning Point: Different personalities may view and express their values, beliefs, attitudes and

behaviors differently than others.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
This exercise was to be self-aware of our behaviors and values and how to use stress reduction on a daily

basis. We wrote about self-esteem and how it affects us positively and negatively. How stress can affect

the relationships we have with people and our self-worth. We also gave our own view on values, attitudes

and beliefs. Lastly, we used Prochaska’s Stages of Change Model and gave a real life example for

someone going through each stage.

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Journal Writing:
FEAR: apprehension, anxiety, distress, edginess, jumpiness, nervousness, panic, tenseness,

uneasiness, worry, fright, feeling overwhelmed.

All of these emotions I feel a sense of association with. As of about two weeks ago, I have

been more disgusted with my physical appearance. I feel that no matter how much I watch what I eat

and how much I exercise or drink water, I am gaining weight and feeling flabbier. Everyone tells me I

am crazy, my friend Lia tells me I may have body dysmorphic disorder. I look at my boyfriend and

how in shape he is, and I think, “Why would he want to be with a whale?” Then I feel like he could do

better, maybe he is talking to someone who is in better shape, maybe he thinks I am disgusting

secretly….my mind explodes. Sometimes, I strip all of my clothes off and I will weigh myself at any

point in time of the day. If it is above what I want, I feel panic, anxious, uneasiness and disgust. The

thought to use diet pills and laxatives as I have in the past comes to mind often, or even just stop

eating entirely as I have also done at one point as well, but I fight myself on the thought, every day is

a battle not to take the easy way out. I hate when people give me advice on diet and exercise, I feel

like they think I am stupid. I am going to school for these things, and I know what I need to do, I just

do not see the results as quick as I need to see them. I fear money and all the issues around it. I am

stubborn, and I hate people helping me. I am twenty six years old and I refuse to have someone give

me money and I will never ask to borrow money. I feel like I am pathetic for my age because I have a

crappy job and it barely covers my bills. I want to do more for my boyfriend and my family and I

can’t because I am barely getting by. I fear my boyfriend will leave me for someone who is more

stable, I do not want to be a burden on him. He tells me it’s damaging to constantly reassure and he

doesn’t like that I am so doubtful, I am just waiting for him to one day call it quits. I am self-

damaging, I have been told that and I see that now. I have a fear of being forgotten, being left behind

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for something better and/or abandoned. My family life and ex-lover was always a struggle…a

battle…and as much as I wish it did not reflect my feelings now, it is easier said than done.

CONFUSION: bewildered, uncertain, puzzled, mystified, perplexed, chaotic, foggy, or unaware.

I feel like I always have a sense if uncertainty, if I let my guard down, how long until someone

betrays or hurts me again? I would like to say I live a rather easy life, but it has always been chaotic. I

am the leader of my family, even over my parents. Countless times they have come to me for money,

what to do with their badly behaved children, for counseling, for advice, a shoulder to cry on. As

much as I love to be everyone’s mother and feeling the sense of being needed, sometimes I need to

just tune everything out. Nothing is ever simple in life and I wish it was.

ANGER: aggravation, agitation, annoyance, destructiveness, disgust, envy, frustration, irritation,

grouchiness, grumpiness, rage.

The one thing I cannot control is my anger towards my mother. The last my brother, sister and

I saw of her was in November of 1997 when we were in the DYFS office and they told my dad to

either come get us or there were foster families ready to take us. He didn’t really want us either, even

until this day he will deny it, but he had a new family now, one that would cause so much hurt and

pain along the way of me getting older. My mother, sent us a card that year saying she hopes santa got

us everything we wanted and she would see us soon. Fast forward to about, seven or eight years if not

hearing from her since, she decided to Facebook friend me and my brother and sister. I remember it

clear as day, I was working an overnight and my brother called me saying “mom’s sister gave me her

number and I spoke to her for a long time.” I felt a million emotions at once. My face got hot and I

felt tears well up in my eyes. I told my brother not to ever talk to her again. Soon after, my sister

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called me and told me about all the terrible things my mom had to say about my dad and if I was not

going to side with her and mom then do not ever talk to her. So, I didn’t speak to either of them. A few

weeks had gone by and my brother kept sounding excited that my mom was finally back in his life

and she made all these promises and kept falling short. She has a habit of having cancer every other

day and that was her excuse to him. I got furious and messaged her and I told her not to make

promises to my brother she could not keep, she then proceeded to tell me how horrible my dad was.

There was so much I wanted to unload on her, how horrible she was to us when we lived with her, the

things we saw, the things she did, the things her boyfriends did, but I didn’t, I didn’t say anything, I

got rid of my Facebook. My sister and I had a rocky relationship for a while because of my mom but

finally we are starting to see eye to eye about her. She doesn’t know that I looked up her police record

and saw all the things she did while we lived with her and while we did not know if she was dead or

not, but telling her wouldn’t make a difference, I do not want to tell her the bad just so she’ll take

sides. One day at work, someone asked me about my mom. No one knows about my past or the things

that have happened to me, so I said I think she is somewhere in New Jersey but I do not talk to her.

They proceeded to tell me that whatever bad she did, I needed to get it off my chest because I am

carrying HER burden. Another told me to forgive her because I only have one mother, but in my eyes,

I have no mother and I prefer to keep it that way. A mother should never put their child through the

things she put us through, but I again, do not say anything. My sister tried getting her to come visit

when she was visiting from Texas, even though I voiced my…opinion…concern…promises of what

will happen if she set foot in Dumont and yet she still went against her better judgement and told her

to come, she bailed…made excuses…bashed my sister, but for her sake, it was a blessing she did not

come here, I just do not know if I could control myself around her. The thought of her brings up a fire

in me…a deep rage I do not think I would be able to contain.

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SADNESS: alienation, anguish, despair, disappointment, gloom, grief, hopelessness, insecurity,

loneliness, misery, unhappiness, rejection.

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 I am very scared to feel alienated. I think it all started when I found out that I am an abortion

baby survivor. I was born a twin, my mom got an abortion, he died, but I grew in a weird spot in her

stomach which caused her a lot of pain, but behold, I was born, somewhat unhealthy, but I was born. I

don’t remember living with both of my parents at the same time, and most of my super young years, I

was at my grandmother’s house. When we lived with my mom, she hated me. She used to tell me if I

did not behave, I would wake up and her, my sister and brother would be gone and I would be all

alone, that would frighten me. We lived with a few relatives and I felt out of place. When we would

stay with our dad on the weekends, my stepmoms son was a huge brat and if someone even looked in

his direction, he would cry and we would be punished. My stepmom loved to hit my brother, my dad

did it out of frustration because we were his weekend burden, and she would jump on top of him and

bash him in the head and all over. His screams of pain would make me want to reach for him and

cuddle him. One day we were swimming in our pool and I watched him sink under water, and he

grabbed his head and floated in fetal position for a while, until this day, I feel very emotional thinking

about how he must have been confused and hurt and whatever else was going on in his mind while he

curled up under water. I am very insecure, my step family used to tell me I should not wear winter

hats and sweaters in the summer because I was a pretty girl and I should wear dresses. In high school,

they hated me and made my life hell. My step aunt and her son would harass me through Myspace

and tell me I was a drug addict, slut, alcoholic and I would be dead if her family didn’t take us in.

Mind you, I was very prude, I hadn’t even kissed a boy until I was in my second year of high school,

and I was scared to ever try a drug. My stepmom would run out of the house after me in the mornings

on my way to school and call me a fat slut, even though I did not wear revealing clothes. She would

trash my room, break my hangers and cds if I did something as simple as avoid walking past her to

avoid her comments, my dad would tell me I am running his family. My ex-boyfriend made me feel

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like there was some sense of hope. We started speaking online and I felt like I had met the match of a

life time. He wanted to know everything about me and I tore my walls down and told him, something

I was never comfortable with telling anyone. He told me about his life, we cried together about the

things we had shared. He became too intense, I was nervous, I stepped back from the situation, and he

quickly moved on. I lost it, I was a shell of a person, and my family was scared for me. I would go to

work, but come straight home and lay in bed, cry, scream, never sleep, beg him to talk to me and

finally he did. I went into counseling because I still wasn’t myself. He told me it was weak of me, but

if that’s how I felt I needed to help with my issues then do it. I did, she was a counselor I had seen in

high school, so there wasn’t much introducing as she knew a glimpse of my past. I was very insecure

about sharing my life with this woman and I tried. She was battling cancer, so she would often fall

asleep at our meetings, making me feel like what I was sharing was not important, which did not help

me at all. I ended up breaking up with this guy after giving it a lot of thought and starting to see he

was not prince charming, and for a while, I was mentally damaged. I still am, but I am doing a lot

better. Sometimes, I cry for no reason, some days I just feel like I want to die. Depression is hard to

handle, especially without medications, but I do not want to depend on a pill to make everything okay.

SHAME: guilt, embarrassment, humiliation, invalidation, regret, remorse, mortification.

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 I feel a lot of shame for things that have happened to me in the past. These things stick to me

and I can never say them out loud which annoys people, but I literally cannot say the word, it is like a

knot in my throat. I get angry at myself because some people I wish I could share stuff with them and

I can’t. It then becomes a “JUST SAY IT!” and I start to cry because they don’t know or understand. I

feel embarrassment how my family is in the lower middle class being in one of the richest counties in

New Jersey. When I was younger, we lived worse with my mother, and now I try to help update the

house and no one takes care of anything. I am embarrassed that my mother is what she is and I’ll

never be one of those people happily sharing a photo of me and my mom. Even my boyfriend says she

is the scum of the earth and he has never met her and his father is pretty scummy himself.

LOVE: affection, arousal, attraction, caring, compassion, desire, fondness, infatuation, kindness,

liking, longing, warmth, sympathy, sentimentality.

Unconditional love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I will always love my sister and father

no matter what and I will always go above and beyond for them. My father, has a similar personality

to mine. We bend over backwards for people, and we get walked on. He and I try to hold

conversations, but he is not much for talking and I also feel like he is a bit intimidated by me as well.

He always told me that I am the only one of his three children with my head on right, so I do not need

help or guidance. I love my boyfriend very much as well. He is my rock. He is always there to lift me

up and is starting to also open up to me about his hurt and his past which makes me feel really good.

We have gone through some rough times, but time after time, he always shows that he is here and he

is here for me forever. I love to show affection to only a small amount of people. I don’t really liked to

be touched, so I will only hug a select few people: my boyfriend, my dad and my cats, anyone else

makes me feel uncomfortable. I am also a very caring and compassionate person. I will always be

there for people to listen, help or offer advice. Seeing people sad or down breaks my heart and makes

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me want to “save” them. I can also be very compassionate about something I really enjoy such as

school, or cooking in turn makes me very determined.

JOY: amusement, bliss, contentment, eagerness, elation, enjoyment, enthusiasm, excitement,

exhilaration, hope, optimism, pleasure, satisfaction.

I love making people happy, I feel like it is a sickness. No matter where I am, I am always

thinking about others and what I can do to make them happy. If I am at a store and I see something

someone I know would love, if I can afford it, I will get it. Making home cooked meals for my

boyfriend and roommate and possibly sharing with people at work of my family makes me happy

when I feel how much they enjoy it. When I get a good grade in class or when the words just flow

through my fingers and I have a lot to say in an assignment, it makes me happy. When others think of

me, it makes me happy too. A text from an old friend, flowers for no reason….little things. When I get

on the Dean’s List or President’s List at the end of the term, it makes me feel more optimistic about

completing college, life in general and finding a future job.

Summary

This exercise really helped me express a lot of things I can’t say out loud that do eat at me

every day. I started out angry, then upset, and now like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

24
Unit 5: Dealing with Stress: Coping Strategies

5
Unit

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Our minds tend to automatically think the worst case scenario and are aided with

low self-esteem. This could be helped with thought stopping and self-talk.

Key Learning Point: Humor can be a great way to relieve stress and tension.

Key Learning Point: Managing your time and money can help reduce stress.

Journal Writing:
I decided to try the mindful self-inquiry for stress and anxiety practice. Today was rather

stressful. A co-worker who just came back from vacation and is known to complain and nag all day

long did just that and towards the end of my shift, angered me greatly to the point where I go so angry

I got tunnel vision, my face turned bright red, and I started to shake. Then she overheard me telling

my co-worker about the incident and she approached and said said in the nicest, sarcastic sounding

voice, “I am not made at you.” I told her I am clocked out, I am done for the day, and I do not want to

waste any more energy on the subject. Then my brother called me and told me about a fight he and

my step grandmother had and a horrible insult she called him which enraged me as well.

At first the practice was sort of hard to do because I just finished being overly angry and

stressed out. I would try the breathing and attempting to focus on just that, but my mind kept

25
wandering and thinking of things I should have said to these people who angered me. As the practice

went on, I was able to focus a bit more and calm down. I started to cry a little when I started the

section where we started to talk about fear and anxiety. I hate being anxious, it ruins my whole day

and makes me feel drained and all I want to do is sleep and I cannot do that because my day does not

stop until about ten at night. I also do not like to wind down from a stressful day just by going straight

to bed, I end up waking up with horrible anxiety. I also feel like being angry is a waste of time, it also

wears you out. I hate that this co-worker and my step grandmother get me so worked up. This practice

made me think about why these people get me so enraged so easily, and I started to make a

connection: they are both miserable people and no amount of niceness you show them, they enjoy

misery. I started to think about the discussion I had with my sister the other day about the newest

news about my mom and how that enraged me as well which also caused a sleepless night. I started to

get angry that she had that power over me, the power to control my anger that I lost out on sleep. I

thought about my other co-worker who I think has relapsed on drugs and how she has been asking me

for money nearly every other day for two weeks and we even had the conversation about how she has

come so far in her recovery and how it would be so foolish for her to ever turn back. I thought about

my finances and how I am struggling, but I am getting by and how I am good with not showing others

I am struggling. Then I went back to focusing on my breathing. I focused on my breathing and then

compared it to the ocean and how it feels to lay on top of the water and feel it moving…ebbing and

flowing and feeling calm and quiet. I thought about the clouds and laying in a field. I felt the warmth

of the sun and I felt the calmness of the field. A big, open, quiet space, a breeze, the clouds forming

shapes, the clouds moving quickly then slowly. I also thought of this poem my counselor told me

about to deal with codependency called “Letting Go”. I thought about each line as I felt my breath in

my stomach making it rise and fall. As I thought of each line of the poem and remembering that I

26
can’t control everything. I also thought of another poem my counselor told me about that is called

“Promise Yourself”. The poem is about being true to yourself and being the best person you can be

and expressing your goodness to others. Then I strictly focused on my breathing again. When the

practice was over, I did not feel stressed anymore, still, a bit emotionally drained/ tired, but less tense

and stressed. To add to the de-stressing of my day, I am also going to go for a run and eat a big,

amazing salad for dinner afterwards.

These journal entries help me express a lot of a lot of pent-up stress that I carry thorough out

my days. To have a place where I can not only write to help de-stress, but also try new de-stressing

activities is something I need to keep up with.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA:

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

27
Unit 6: Relaxation Techniques 1: Breathing,

6
Unit

Meditation, and Mental Imagery

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Deep breathing can relieve anxiety and stress and also chronic pain.

Key Learning Point: Everyday life can cause sensory overload and add to our anxiety and stress.

Key Learning Point: Mental imagery, also a term for predictive encoding, and guided mental imagery are

used as a stress, depression and anxiety reducing technique leading the mind to a “happy” place

where we feel a sense of calmness.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
This unit’s exercise spoke of diaphragmatic breathing, meditation or imagery and visualization to help

with physical or mental pain. Practicing these exercises proves to have positive effects on the mind and

body. Practicing these exercises on a weekly basis can help reduce anxiety, stress and depression as well.

28
Journal Writing:
Mindful of how you interact with yourself?

Lately, I send myself a lot of unkind messages. Many situations keep coming up and draining

my bank even more than usual (weddings, birthdays, etc.) and it is very stressful. I continuously think

how much of a loser I am that I am struggling and penny pinch where I can just so I can attend these

events, but no one knows about these money woes, except for my boyfriend. He is so great and tries

to help me out, but I am stubborn and refuse his help. I have a fear in the back of my head where he

will leave me for another woman who is more financially stable and better all around, even though he

says he is happy with me and would never leave me.

Another negative message I send myself a lot lately is that I am a fat mess. This Friday, we

attended a wedding, and I wore a maxi dress with a plunging neckline. I thought I looked great, until I

asked my boyfriend to send my parents a photo of my in my dress, and I saw the picture and I felt

physically sick to my stomach because of how I looked. I felt so stupid thinking what I saw in the

mirror was what I really looked like. I could not stop looking at the photo he took of me, seeing how

the dress didn’t compliment my shape at all and I just looked like a whale child trying to look like a

woman. I broke down and cried my eyes out Saturday after being alone with my thoughts all day and

examining my body with my stretch marks on my thighs, the spider veins I am starting to develop and

the pouch of fat that hangs in front of my stomach. My boyfriend thought at first I was kidding

because of the things I was saying and how hard I was crying, then he suggested I go back to

counseling. After a while, I fell asleep, but the next day was no better. Yesterday, I woke up with

anxiety, much like how I have been feeling every morning, noon and night. Each second of the day I

felt the anxiety growing more and more and the tears welling up more and more until finally, I could

29
not hold back anymore, and I cried in bed for a while, until my friend Catherine came over and I

couldn’t even pretend I was okay. We hung out for a bit and she also suggested counseling or a mild

Xanax prescription but I started to feel a little better, I did not want her to feel like she came over just

to watch me be pathetic and crying for no reason. My anxiety did not die down though, which made

sleep nearly impossible and somehow kept my boyfriend awake as well and he kept asking what was

bothering me, but I didn’t know. I feel very physically and mentally worn today and choked up.

So basically, I feel like a fat, worthless, pathetic, waste of life lately.

Seeds of suffering?

If I stopped thinking these bad thoughts about myself, maybe when being optimistic for others,

I could start being optimistic for myself. If I felt more self-love and self-acceptance, I would be less

stressed and my confidence would not only make me happy, but my boyfriend would also see me a

different way too, maybe…more attractive because I find myself attractive? If I stopped thinking of

myself a less than a person, maybe my anxiety wouldn’t be so bad, I would be able to sleep, I

wouldn’t cry as much, and I wouldn’t feel so drained physically and mentally.

Day-to-day life feelings of resentment?

At the moment, I am not having any issues with anyone. One person that does get under my

skin though, is my step grandmother. I know that she is a very jealous and insecure person and she

does not like when people do anything without her. She always has to know my step mother’s every

movement and when her other children mentioned something about moving her to an assisted living

home so my step mother and father can live their married lives without taking care of her, she got

angry and flipped out. She hates when my step mom and I even have a simple conversation because it

is steering away from attention from her, even though I do not even live in the house anymore, mainly

30
because of her. I try to be very nice to her, talk to her, offer to grab her a coffee from the coffee shop

or anything else, and no matter what I do, she is so…mean. It is hard to find any good qualities

because anything she does, it is for recognition or because she wants something in return and no

matter how much you can consider her, you will always do something wrong. I work with someone

exactly like my step grandmother, and she is also someone I try very hard to be nice to and keep

positive, but no matter what she is also VERY negative. I know she is insecure and has hoarding

tendencies, but again, nothing you do can ever be enough for these people.

Reflection on writing?

After completing this journal, it brought more pain and depression to the surface, but I know it

is very apparent I have issues with depression and anxiety, and I need to do something about it. I want

to start each day with a few self-encouraging sentences, continue with the meditation, squeezing in

exercise when able to, and start to love myself so I can be the person I need and want to be.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA:

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

31
Unit 7: Nutrition and Stress

8 7
Unit Unit

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Exercise has many benefits for the body and mind.

Key Learning Point: Exercising should be done frequently to maintain the effects of it.

Key Learning Point: A healthy diet has many benefits for the mind and body.

Self-Assessment Exercise:
For this unit’s self-assessment exercise, I chose preforming a mindful lying exercise (yoga) before bed. I

practiced this exercise more than once a week and it proved to calm my nerves, stress, anxiety and

depression. I slept better and had a positive outlook and things when preforming yoga nightly.

Unit 8: Physical Exercise and Activity

Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: Yoga, one of the many ways to help reduce stress, anxiety, body pains and

depression, has many different forms of this practice.

32
 Key Learning Point: T’ai Chi ch’uan is Chinese relaxation technique and is a moving

mediation to bring the body into harmony and balance with the universal

energies (Seaward, 2015).

Key Learning Point: Physical exercise is very important for the mind and body both short and long term.

Self-Assessment Exercises:
For this exercise, we were to think of an inexpensive way the company we work for and help their

employees be more mindful and practice mind and body exercises and/or offer wellness and health

services. I offered the idea of having a room set aside for those who would like to practice mindful

breathing, having a local yoga studio provide free or discounted classes to our employees, switching the

healthier snack options in the vending machines and offering spa water in the break room.

Journal Writing:
When completing this assignment, I imagined I was sitting in front of my boyfriend, Justin.

OPENNESS:

When I read the description of the quality “openness”, I realize that I am half and half with being

open. I do not trust very easily, which makes me question his actions and motives frequently, when I

know that I should not considering we have been dating nor nearly three years and we are always

together if not working. Sometimes I do not feel I can express things about my past to him because he

is very closed off about his feelings about his past. I have been trying to be more open, expressing my

concerns and attempting to get him to open up without prying, but it is taking some times and

patience. I would like to learn to be more open with him and vice versa, I just need to let go of the

thought of potentially being hurt in the future, as it is effecting where I am now.

33
EMPATHY:

When I read the description for the quality “empathy”, I think of the discussion we had on Saturday

evening. We had a get together at the apartment and while we were all eating, Justin’s dad called him

and he said he want to talk to him right now and hung up. Later that evening he started to feel a sense

of guilt because he shut him out and he doesn’t want o do that to someone who is so broken. Justin

and his father do not have a good relationship due to his father being reckless in many ways. I hate

when his father comes into play because I know how I feel towards my mother and I wish Justin

would just cut all ties from his father because he is poison. He says his father was not always a bad

guy, his mother’s death really just messed him up. My stomach turns hearing Justin make excuses for

his actions and being reckless when his children really needed him the most. I think that if Justin

knew my mother’s past, would he then make excuses for my mother’s actions as well? I have to

always keep in mind that Justin is not me and I am not Justin and although we have gone through

some similar times in our life, they were also different at the same time. So I sit there and try to be

supportive of any decision he needs to make and he ended up calling his father the next day, but there

was no answer.

COMPASSION:

When I read the description for the quality “compassion”, I think of the discussion we had on

Saturday evening again. I am very possessive over the people I love and this is not limited to my

boyfriend. I never want to see people hurt, when they hurt, I hurt too. As I said, I know Justin has had

a hard life and he has gone through many tragic events. Being the “new” woman in his life, I never

want to see him sad or disappointed. Sometimes, my depression not only makes me feel powerless,

34
but also pathetic and aggravated because that is not the person I want to be for him. I want to be his

shining star, the person he wants to come home and not say anything to, but just hug. I want to be his

rock, his healer, his everything. I feel a lot of compassion and it is my blessing and curse.

LOVING-KINDNESS:

When I read the description for the quality “loving-kindness”, I think of wanting all the best for

Justin. I want to see him succeed, to constantly better himself and never give up. I truly wish all things

well for him. I am a very mothering person, so sometimes I need to take a step back and allow him to

find his feet and move forward when all I want to do is guide him. I also think of my brother with this

one. As much as I can’t stand him sometimes because he has an “everyone owes me” attitude, I do

wish the best for him. I wish that he realizes that he is self-sufficient and to get something done,

sometimes it just takes yourself to do it. I want him to be able to stop lying to everyone, stop whatever

drug or alcohol is secretly does and be able to be honest with everyone and especially himself.

SYMPATHETIC JOY:

When I read the description for the quality “sympathetic joy”, I think of mine and Justin’s upbringing.

I do sometimes get annoyed when I think of his past and the people he has been with and the things he

had done, but I also think about myself and the things I have done as well and attempt to realize, I

cannot be angry at him. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and although I wish

certain things didn’t happen, they may not have brought me here to the now and where I am or where

he is. I am so grateful that all roads lead to him because if not, I have no clue where I would be.

EQUANIMITY:

35
When I read the description for the quality “equanimity”, I think of work. Since meeting re-meeting

Justin, my perspectives have changed a lot, one of them being more understanding. At work when

people want to jump on and bash someone, I attempt to show them both sides of the situation. I

attempt to say hello to everyone I pass, ask people how they are, remember if they told me about

something they were doing that weekend and ask them about it. This really pays off and I have Justin

to thank for that. He is very friendly and can strike up a conversation with anyone about anything.

Although I have lost my touch with being social, I am slowly attempting small talk again.

Summary

This exercise really helped me relax and write very freely about my thoughts. I realize just how

impactful Justin has been on me and my life and I start to wonder if he saved me from myself…hmm.

References

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being. Burlington,

MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.

Stahl, B., & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA:

New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

36
Unit 9: Applying Stress: Critical Issues for

9
Unit

Management and Prevention to your

Professional Life
Information to Remember:
Key Learning Point: There is more than just one way to manage, cope, or relieve stress.

Key Learning Point: Practicing stress reduction techniques frequently can reduce stress, anxiety, chronic

pain and depression

Key Learning Point: Allow yourself to be a mindful, peaceful person all the time. Do not resist rest, ,

exercise, of connecting with people

37
Additional Information

38
 References (Primary Sources)

Seaward, B. (2015). Managing stress: Principles and strategies for health and well-being (8th ed.).

Boston, MA: Jones and Bartlett Publishers.

Stahl, B. & Goldstein, E. (2010). A mindfulness-based stress reduction workbook. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications, Inc.

39