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The quest for my future still goes on.

For months I have been reading on Dermatol


ogy in preparation for the entrance examinations in the training program. Eventu
ally, months of studying can be tiring and I have come to that point of burn out
that I can barely think anymore.
I vowed that this year, I will get into a dermatology training program. I applie
d to four institutions this year (five,if you count the hospital where I decided
to skip the exam), despite the fact that two of these institutions did not have
any form of salary. I thought, I wanted to be a dermatologist in an accredited
hospital. I can't be choosy.
Exam no.1: The scope was General Medicine and they were getting only 20 for inte
rview. Fat chance I would get to the interview when I learned that the wonderful
world of politics was alive and that of the 5 slots for residency, 4 were alrea
dy "saved" for the deemed anak ng diyos. And true enough, I got a "we regret to
inform you" text message. No hard feelings there. I took the exam to get me into
the exam-taking mood. That exam served as a kick-off in my quest.
Exam no.2: I half-heartedly took the entrance exam as this was in one institutio
n where there will be no compensation during training - and I know how it feels
like asking your parents for money at my age (but that's another story) and I ha
te it. I hate the feeling of not having your own means of monetary compensation
and I had wished that I would not have to go through that again. To get back, th
e exam was in Dermatology and was surprisingly easy. I felt that I did well. App
arently, some must have got perfect scores because I received my second "we regr
et" text message. I later learned that they were getting only two from all the e
xaminees. I was already moving on to the third exam when I learned this. Anothe
r 2500 pesos donated.
Exam no.3. Another institution with no salary for the residency training. But un
like Hospital 2, this hospital had lots of patients. They were getting four resi
dents for 2011. A friend who took the exam last year said that it was relatively
easy, so I was shocked when I got the test paper. It seemed that I was taking a
n exam in Latin since I hardly understood the questions. Add to that the fact th
at I only had three hours of sleep since I had to wake up extra early for a thre
e-hour commute to that hospital. So I'm not really hoping to get chosen for an i
nterview. They have yet to inform the applicants though.
Exam no.4. This exam was in a hospital were I really wanted to be training in. I
t has quality patients, salary and I know most of the residents. By default, I k
new the exam here was hard so I was losing hope at this point. The exam here was
a hundred points identification,fifty points true or false,thirty eighty points
WEIRD matching type. I took the exam here last year also, so I knew it was hard
. Comparatively, I had less blank answers than last year. I'm keeping my fingers
crossed for this one.
I have yet to know the results of the last two exams but I have come to another
resolution: This is my last year of application to Dermatology. If I don't get i
n this year, it's time to rethink my future. Maybe another specialty. I can't wa
ste another year. My former batchmates in Obstetrics are already in their third
year of training (I left at the end of the first year). I have friends graduatin
g this year in Pediatrics, Radiology and Anesthesiology. Although I don't regret
the time I have spent moonlighting. I have learned a lot since I started going
on ER duties. I liked the challenge and excitement of each duty. Good thing, bec
ause I have never had a benign duty. I have successfully intubated neonates,chil
dren and adults - things that I didn't have the courage to do before.
This has got me into thinking of my Plan B. I want a specialty wherein I won't b
e forever on-call. I want a training program of three years duration, benign but
challenging.
It ain't over till it's over. Makes sense? To me it does. The fight ain't over y
et and my quest still goes on. My new vow: Get into a specialty training I'd be
happy with by 2011.