Going The Distance 2010

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For us to push back from the gate...
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00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,232
...make sure seatbelts are fastened...
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...tray tables in their locked position,
and your luggage is completely stowed.
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We'd like to thank you all for flying with us.
Welcome aboard.
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Flight 82 to San
Francisco is ready for boarding at Gate...
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Flight 63
to New York now boarding at Gate 41.
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If you'd like to make a call...
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- So...
- So...
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- Happy birthday.
- Oh.
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Thank you...
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...for the takeout.
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Sure.
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It's the least I could do.
It's your birthday.
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- Heh. So?
- Oh, yeah, right.
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But Dan's home
so we gotta go to the bedroom.
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Oh. Are we done in here?
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Yeah, well, we finished eating.
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What?
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I just thought
that this might be a great moment...
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...for you to give me my gift.
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Oh, shit.
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Amy, I didn't get you anything.
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You told me that you didn't want me
to get you anything.
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What's happening? Oh, God.
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- Are you crying?
- No.
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I have missed something here, baby.
So you wanted a present?
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Garrett,
I tell you not to get me something...
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...so you want to get me something
really great...
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...because I'm the girlfriend
that didn't ask for anything.
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What? Okay, you know what, let's go.
I'll get you something now.
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It is not about the goddamn gift.
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It just was about the gift.
When did it become not about the gift?
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It's bigger than this.
It's a combination of a lot of things.
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I've invested so much in this relationship
and I don't feel like you're doing the same.
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I don't even know if you're into this.
Are you?
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- Sure.
- Oh, my God.
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Ah, Amy, come on.
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- Don't even think about calling me again.
- Oh, Jesus. Amy, wait, wait, wait.
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I should not call you
or I should want to call you?
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Okay, so it means what it means. Good.
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- Ow! Oh, my God. Mother bitch.
- Erin, you're late.
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Thanks, Brandy.
I almost forgot why I was running.
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Did he use the red pen with you guys?
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No.
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- Well, it's impressive reporting.
- Thank you.
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However,
needs to be completely restructured.
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And a spellcheck wouldn't hurt.
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"Munincibal" courthouse?
Not sure where that is.
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Thank you, ladies.
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- Where are you going?
- I'm 31. I'm an intern.
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- I'm going to get wasted.
- Oh, I'm so in.
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Let's go.
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I'd love a copilot. Look at this shit.
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Oh, my God, he bled on it.
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I still can't believe
she broke up with me.
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- Of course she did, dumb-ass.
- Because I didn't get a gift?
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It's not the gift.
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- Don't think it's the gift.
- It's not.
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How does everyone except me
know it's not about the gift?
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- Oh. Dude, are you kidding me?
- All right, hang on a second, man.
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I get it, all right?
It's a tough thing to get dumped.
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You get upset, you go to your room,
you turn off all the lights...
63
00:05:12,779 --> 00:05:15,247
...you light a candle
and you just, like you know...
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...go to that deep emotional place
where you're like:
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- Is that really how you cry?
Yes.
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Are you going through that?
Have you cried?
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- Uh, I didn't cry. I've never cried like that.
- I cry like that all the time.
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I've only really cried over a girl
in, like, high school, maybe.
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I don't know.
Maybe you weren't into that chick.
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Because I didn't cry, it means I'm not...
No, I liked her. Of course I liked her.
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And we were good together.
I don't know what happened.
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- I don't know what happened.
Aw, dude.
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- This happens every time.
- What?
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You get in a relationship
but you don't fully commit.
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00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:51,581
You never have,
not since I've known you.
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The girl figures that out and she splits.
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And then we have to sit here
and listen to you be surprised about that.
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- Over and over again. This happens a lot.
- All the time.
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It's not true. It happens occasionally.
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There's a definite pattern.
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- Definite pattern.
You know what?
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Fuck you, fuck you.
I'm gonna go clear my head.
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- A lot of self-righteousness going on.
- You gonna cry it out?
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I'm not crying, just gonna clear my head.
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Clear your head, cry, same thing.
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You know what I'm talking about
with the man cry.
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Like that low, like:
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I don't know. If you ask me, that looks
like you're trying to suck your own dick.
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- That does not...
- Yes, it does.
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If I wasn't making any noise...
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...and you saw me like this,
what does it look like?
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Looks like you're trying to suck your dick.
That's not how.
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When I suck my dick, I lie on my back,
I throw my legs over my head.
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- You suck your own dick?
- Yeah.
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You cut your hair
and you suck your own dick.
96
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You're like a Swiss army knife.
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Hey, we should circulate.
There's hot guys everywhere.
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00:07:01,454 --> 00:07:02,716
You're being lame.
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00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:04,356
What would you rather I do?
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00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,493
Get date-raped by a frat guy
with a popped collar?
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No, thank you.
102
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You are just jealous.
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- More for you, baby.
Thank you.
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Go have fun being in The Accused.
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Hey.
- Hey.
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I like your shirt.
- I know. It's Polo.
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You smell good.
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- It's Axe.
- I know.
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You might as well remove that quarter.
I have no intention of getting off this game.
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Listen...
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- Oh, my God.
- What?
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- Who does that?
- What the fuck?
113
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- What the fuck are you doing?
- What the fuck are you doing?
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Who leans in like that?
I was just about to beat the high score.
115
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There's no way you got that close to ERL.
I've never gotten that close.
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You know how long
I've been trying to beat myself?
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I mean, what a dick move.
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Wait, what?
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What the f...?
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What? Hold on. Hold on. You're ERL?
You're the dragon?
121
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,316
I'm a what?
122
00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:14,618
I've been chasing ERL for months now.
I just thought ERL was an...
123
00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:17,922
I thought ERL was an "Earl," you know.
124
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Erin Rankin Langford.
Nobody calls me ERL.
125
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I'm honored, okay. I am honored.
126
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Shit, what a dick. I leaned in.
127
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I owe you a beer.
Please let me get you a beer.
128
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Look, I'm sitting right over there,
we got a pitcher.
129
00:08:32,545 --> 00:08:37,278
I'd feel like shit if you don't have a beer
with me. One Centipedophile to another.
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All right.
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- I feel like you're not listening to me.
- I am listening.
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I'm trying to figure this out.
I can't tell if they're together.
133
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I think they're on their first date. Tall.
134
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,357
Yes, I see them. They're tall.
But are you not afraid about what's...
135
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,465
- I bet the blond played college sports.
- Can you pay attention?
136
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:57,501
There are no baby pigeons in the city.
Not one.
137
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You guys, uh, I want you to meet Erin.
138
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Uh, Erin, these are my friends.
This is Box and Dan.
139
00:09:02,275 --> 00:09:03,970
Hi. How are you?
140
00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:05,371
- Hey.
- Hello.
141
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:08,672
I screwed up Erin's Centipede game
so I owe her a beer.
142
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,782
Fucker put his face
in front of the game.
143
00:09:10,950 --> 00:09:12,383
- What? Who does that?
Oh.
144
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:14,678
- Exactly.
- Well, it wasn't that bad.
145
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Check, one.
146
00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:18,056
Okay, everyone, people.
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00:09:18,758 --> 00:09:22,455
It is time for tonight's round
of bar trivia.
148
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,631
So you know the rules.
Uh, just teams of two.
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00:09:28,801 --> 00:09:30,132
No fighting, no g...
150
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:34,962
Oh! Shit!
Terry, I just got shocked by this mike.
151
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,904
Well, then don't put your face on it.
152
00:09:37,109 --> 00:09:39,703
I do not have health care, Terry.
153
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:43,946
Hey, listen, these two get really moody
and emotional when they're separated...
154
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,981
...so do you wanna team up?
Sure.
155
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:49,178
Just don't drag me down, okay?
You don't seem very smart.
156
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:54,391
What country has the driest inhabited area
in the world?
157
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:55,857
Is it A, Syria...?
158
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:57,120
Egypt.
159
00:09:57,296 --> 00:10:01,232
Okay, let me read all the choices
before you answer.
160
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,394
Egypt, the answer's Egypt.
161
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,537
Nice. Oh, my God.
162
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:08,902
What album holds the record
for most weeks on the Billboard 200?
163
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,406
Dark Side of the Moon.
164
00:10:10,576 --> 00:10:13,875
- Terry, they keep interrupting me.
Then speak faster.
165
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,446
Seven hundred and 41 weeks,
in case you're curious.
166
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,449
You suck at everything else.
It's good you know something.
167
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:22,315
Yeah, well, I better not suck at that.
It's part of my job.
168
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:24,956
I work at Diesel Records. It's a label.
169
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:26,916
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
170
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:28,958
The word "records"
kind of tipped me off.
171
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,560
What do you do for work?
172
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:32,664
I work at The New York Sentinel
newspaper.
173
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,493
- Oh, yeah?
- It's a newspaper.
174
00:10:34,667 --> 00:10:37,363
How many different ways
can you make change for a dollar?
175
00:10:37,536 --> 00:10:40,801
Ah! A dollar, if ripped, has no value.
176
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,440
Disqualified.
177
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:44,405
Great, nine weeks in a row.
178
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:47,574
- You got a little wing sauce, like... Um...
- Where?
179
00:10:47,780 --> 00:10:50,146
Kind of in this general area.
180
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,443
The Rolling Stones took their name
from what...?
181
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,984
Muddy Waters!
- Fuck you!
182
00:11:02,728 --> 00:11:03,752
Oh, yeah.
183
00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:05,988
Oh, wow.
184
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,894
Jesus, Snoop.
185
00:11:08,801 --> 00:11:11,395
So you a big fan of Tom Cruise?
186
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:14,738
Uh, in my defense, I'm a big Top Gun fan.
187
00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,932
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
188
00:11:17,109 --> 00:11:21,637
In fact, I like all homoerotic,
fighter-pilot movies.
189
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:25,977
- Too much? Did I lose you?
- No, no.
190
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:29,246
Is Top Gun like your favorite movie?
191
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,686
- It's up there. What's wrong with that?
- Nothing.
192
00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,688
- It's the greatest.
- Yeah. It's awesome.
193
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,451
Wait, what's your favorite movie?
194
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,495
Actually, I'm gonna be really serious
right now for a minute.
195
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:40,393
- Okay, hold on.
- Ha-ha-ha.
196
00:11:41,967 --> 00:11:44,435
I really wanna tell you
what my favorite movie is.
197
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,998
Oh, God. Please don't say, like,
Triumph of the Will.
198
00:11:48,174 --> 00:11:52,110
Don't be like a closet Nazi
or something weird...
199
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:54,212
...because this is going great.
200
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,307
It's Shawshank.
201
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,815
I hope I make it across the border.
202
00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,890
I hope to see my friend
and shake his hand.
203
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,427
I hope the Pacific is as blue
as it has been in my dreams.
204
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,326
- Ha-ha-ha.
- I hope.
205
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,867
- Zihuatanejo.
- Zihuatanejo.
206
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:17,627
The best.
207
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:30,945
Watching every motion
In my foolish lover's game
208
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:33,176
- Where's that coming from?
- Dan.
209
00:12:33,352 --> 00:12:35,684
- How in the fuck is Top Gun music playing?
- Dan!
210
00:12:35,855 --> 00:12:37,982
Hey, Garrett.
- I'm so sorry.
211
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:40,182
I forgot to tell you
that Dan's my roommate.
212
00:12:40,359 --> 00:12:41,826
You guys live together?
213
00:12:42,294 --> 00:12:44,194
- Uh, yeah.
- Hey, Dan!
214
00:12:44,363 --> 00:12:45,489
Hello in there.
215
00:12:45,698 --> 00:12:47,598
- Heh.
- Uh...
216
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:48,859
Dan, what are you doing?
217
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,702
Watching every motion
in my foolish lover's game?
218
00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:54,497
What was our rule?
219
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,904
Because I can hear through the wall
doesn't mean I get to participate.
220
00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:01,103
Right,
and what were you doing just now?
221
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:03,207
Participating.
- Okay.
222
00:13:03,382 --> 00:13:07,614
Look, man, I just thought maybe,
you know, it'd be fun if I DJ'd your hookup.
223
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:10,984
So is this, like, what you guys do
when you bring girls over?
224
00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:13,455
- He DJs your hookup?
- No.
225
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,890
Is that what this fucking frat house
is all about?
226
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,188
No, no. Listen, I'm really sorry.
227
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,958
- I'm gonna go.
- Listen, listen, listen. I can explain.
228
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,566
Yeah? Explain.
229
00:13:23,269 --> 00:13:26,705
You know what? I can't. I really have
no save here. He is a fucking moron.
230
00:13:26,872 --> 00:13:29,670
That's okay, because, you know what?
I was totally pretending to be mad.
231
00:13:29,842 --> 00:13:31,434
I didn't want you to think I was slutty.
232
00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:33,202
- I don't care.
- Oh.
233
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:35,643
- Think it's kind of awesome.
- Well, that's weird.
234
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,306
- In fact, Dan, take me to Berlin.
Here it comes!
235
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:42,614
Take my breath away
236
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:52,761
Take my breath away
237
00:14:16,422 --> 00:14:18,549
Hey. Morning.
238
00:14:18,724 --> 00:14:19,748
Good morning.
239
00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:25,327
Um, if you're taking off, could you at least
leave the money on the nightstand?
240
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:28,962
Oh. I wasn't, um, trying to sneak out.
241
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:32,103
No. You're just putting your clothes on
really quietly...
242
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,466
...and tiptoeing across the floor.
243
00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:38,937
- Yeah.
- It's all right.
244
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:40,844
I can stay.
245
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:51,453
- I didn't mean you had to...
- Okay, yeah.
246
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:52,989
That didn't feel good.
247
00:14:53,158 --> 00:14:56,491
Hey, hey.
You wanna maybe get some breakfast?
248
00:14:57,930 --> 00:14:59,727
Food would be good.
249
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,127
Okay.
250
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:07,466
Now I've had the time of my life
251
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:09,569
No, I've never felt
252
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,801
- Dan.
Hello.
253
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,753
I had a great time last night.
254
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:28,052
I gotta say, that was... It's a lot of fun.
255
00:15:28,294 --> 00:15:29,784
Me too.
256
00:15:30,496 --> 00:15:32,054
So I should get your number.
257
00:15:32,231 --> 00:15:35,257
You know, we'd maybe hang out again?
258
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:38,164
- Okay.
- All right. I have a nap... No.
259
00:15:38,337 --> 00:15:40,362
- Here, I got it.
- Okay.
260
00:15:40,973 --> 00:15:44,374
- Um, there's a caveat that...
- Mm-hm.
261
00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,874
...I'd really... Um...
262
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,015
I'm leaving in six weeks.
263
00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:55,210
And when I said that I work
at The Sentinel...
264
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,287
...I meant that I'm a summer intern.
265
00:15:57,856 --> 00:16:02,589
And I'm actually going back to Stanford
to finish up my last year of grad school.
266
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:05,924
And although I'd be psyched
to hang out again...
267
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:11,903
...um, please know that
I'm not looking to start up...
268
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:16,064
Oh, wait. Uh, no, me...?
I just got out of a relationship.
269
00:16:16,442 --> 00:16:18,706
- Oh. Really, when?
- Yeah.
270
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,844
Um...
271
00:16:23,248 --> 00:16:25,978
I'm not gonna tell you
that it was last night...
272
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:29,951
...but I'm not gonna say
that it wasn't either.
273
00:16:30,122 --> 00:16:32,556
- Okay, good.
- Yeah. Yep.
274
00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,886
Well, then we know
where each other stands.
275
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:38,728
Um, the added bonus is that I now know
you're a male whore.
276
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:42,556
Yeah. I guess I... It seems like I am.
277
00:16:43,335 --> 00:16:44,461
Here's my phone number.
278
00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,335
That's awesome.
279
00:16:47,072 --> 00:16:50,041
Best posture in the office, Allison.
Seriously. Best one we got.
280
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,233
There he is.
281
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,604
- How you doing?
- Hey.
282
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:54,405
Hey, I got a question for you, man.
283
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:58,141
How does someone like you end up getting
dumped and laid on the same night?
284
00:16:58,317 --> 00:17:02,720
How is that possible? I mean, from all of us
sad, lonely and bitter people...
285
00:17:02,888 --> 00:17:04,947
...I encourage you
to eat a big bowl of dick.
286
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:06,615
- Really? How about this?
- Mm-hm.
287
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:08,589
How about, "Good morning, Garrett"?
288
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:11,628
- Morning, Garrett.
- How you doing? What's with the luggage?
289
00:17:11,797 --> 00:17:14,994
Um, my flight from Miami got in at 5 a. m.
I haven't even slept.
290
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:17,158
You would never know.
You look well-slept.
291
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,304
Oh, thank you. Heh.
292
00:17:19,471 --> 00:17:21,029
How's, uh?
293
00:17:21,340 --> 00:17:22,671
- Mark...
- Mark.
294
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:24,604
- Is great.
295
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:28,543
Uh, seeing him once every six weeks
for 48 hours, not so great.
296
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:30,773
- Yeah.
- Garrett? Can you come here a sec?
297
00:17:31,116 --> 00:17:32,276
- Yeah.
- Anyways.
298
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,646
- All right. Well, wake up.
- Bye, boys.
299
00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,845
- She's still with that guy?
- Yeah.
300
00:17:37,022 --> 00:17:39,991
- You kidding me? But he lives in Miami.
- Yeah.
301
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,353
Wait... No... Yeah, hold on.
302
00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:44,462
I don't think you understand
the gravity of this situation.
303
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,894
I wanna put things of mine
inside things of hers.
304
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,966
I know you do. I know.
305
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,835
I heart you crazy mad
306
00:17:54,006 --> 00:17:55,303
Until it feels so good
307
00:17:55,474 --> 00:17:58,841
I'm about to do something drastic
'Cause I gotta have it
308
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,205
- What is this?
- Mm-hm.
309
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:04,338
I heart you crazy mad
I'm in a panic 'cause I
310
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:05,983
I'm genuinely getting nauseous.
311
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,611
I'm going out of my head
312
00:18:08,787 --> 00:18:10,914
Are they singing
"I heart you crazy mad"?
313
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,650
Yeah, they are. Sadly, they are.
314
00:18:14,993 --> 00:18:17,086
Jesus. 3Z? Heh.
315
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,456
Now comes the fun part...
316
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,191
...because I get to look at your face
when I say I'm assigning them to you.
317
00:18:22,634 --> 00:18:24,067
- Ah, there it is.
- Ha-ha-ha.
318
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:26,636
I know. I know it sucks.
Believe me, I know, okay?
319
00:18:26,805 --> 00:18:30,070
The higher-ups wanna sign these guys.
They could be our Jonas Brothers.
320
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:32,437
Come on. Don't do this to me.
321
00:18:32,811 --> 00:18:34,745
What about all the bands
that I bring you?
322
00:18:34,913 --> 00:18:37,404
Demos you never listen to?
Give me a shot with those.
323
00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:39,414
- That's not our focus right now.
- Will...
324
00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:42,611
Hey. You know who I had to scout
when I was your age?
325
00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:46,724
Nelson and Jesus Jones. All right?
326
00:18:46,892 --> 00:18:48,792
You know one song. I know like 100.
327
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:51,429
You know what that does
to your emotional stability?
328
00:18:51,597 --> 00:18:53,690
- You covered Jesus Jones?
- Yeah.
329
00:18:53,866 --> 00:18:55,697
How old are you?
330
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,097
I don't wanna talk about that.
331
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:02,263
Do this. Show the idiots in charge
that you wanna get promoted...
332
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:04,432
...then you can make the call
on some bands.
333
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:07,807
I can't look at them without la...
I don't know how I'm gonna do this.
334
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,778
You'll figure it out. Unh.
335
00:19:10,949 --> 00:19:12,416
Close them.
336
00:19:15,787 --> 00:19:17,311
So have they offered you a job yet?
337
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,286
It's nice to talk to you too, Corinne.
338
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:20,652
Have you even asked them?
339
00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,522
Look, the whole newspaper business
is falling apart, okay?
340
00:19:23,695 --> 00:19:25,890
People here are struggling
to keep their jobs...
341
00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:27,827
...so I can't exactly ask for one.
342
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,661
Maya, statue.
343
00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,795
Look, all I'm saying,
and please know that I love you...
344
00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:36,304
...is that you are behind in your life,
and we all know why.
345
00:19:36,475 --> 00:19:40,844
Yeah, I'm currently up to speed on the fact
that my life is not currently up to speed.
346
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,375
Maya, statue.
347
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:46,212
Ooh, Olive Garden.
348
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:52,013
- Jesus Chri... Phil!
The pantry shelves just collapsed.
349
00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:54,515
Erin?
- Shit.
350
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,684
I need you to watch Maya for me, please.
351
00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:00,298
Erin. All the other interns are doing
research so you're on desk duty.
352
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:02,232
Okay.
353
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:05,267
Hugh, wait.
354
00:20:05,437 --> 00:20:10,204
Look, I would really love
to turn this internship into a job.
355
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,809
And it's fine that my last piece
didn't get picked...
356
00:20:12,978 --> 00:20:16,004
...and the ones that do
usually get bumped for space.
357
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,808
But it is my dream to work here...
358
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,076
...and I would like
to make a good impression.
359
00:20:20,252 --> 00:20:22,584
Good. Then do that.
360
00:20:22,754 --> 00:20:24,221
Okay.
361
00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:27,324
Um, well, is there a piece
you could assign me, or?
362
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:28,550
A piece.
363
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:32,390
Uh, the only thing I have is a human
interest story on Grant-A-Dream.
364
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,032
- It's a charitable organization...
- Yes, Grant-A-Dream.
365
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,692
It grants wishes to terminally ill children.
I love terminally ill children.
366
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,566
Don't get too excited.
Four other people passed on this.
367
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,538
- I'm on it.
- Okay, good.
368
00:20:43,709 --> 00:20:46,803
Uh, write it up, put it on my desk.
Thank you.
369
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,411
Corinne... Ugh.
370
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:58,549
Thanks a lot, Erin.
Where did you get these Oreo cookies?
371
00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:01,955
Spit it out. Spit. More. More. More.
372
00:21:02,127 --> 00:21:04,425
All of it. All of it. Maya.
373
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,756
All of it. All of it.
374
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,036
There's that. Thank you so much.
375
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,635
- Hello?
- Hello.
376
00:21:19,411 --> 00:21:21,811
I see you haven't entered me
into your phone yet.
377
00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:24,346
Oh, you know what happened?
378
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:27,417
- What's that?
- I forgot your name.
379
00:21:27,586 --> 00:21:28,610
Ah.
380
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:31,312
That's too bad for me. Um...
381
00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:35,984
Well, I, Garrett, was wondering
if you'd allow me to take you to dinner.
382
00:21:36,161 --> 00:21:38,629
Um, yeah. I could eat.
383
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,822
Yeah? Great.
384
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:43,934
- All right, text me the address.
- Okay.
385
00:21:51,610 --> 00:21:53,271
What's your favorite food?
386
00:21:53,445 --> 00:21:57,404
Every Friday night, my family, we'd go out
to this place, Luigi's, in my hometown.
387
00:21:57,582 --> 00:21:59,049
I'd get tortellini.
388
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:03,119
I think I love it just because of that.
It reminds me of Friday nights growing up.
389
00:22:03,288 --> 00:22:05,620
How would you like to die?
390
00:22:06,058 --> 00:22:08,492
- Eating too much tortellini.
- Ha-ha-ha.
391
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:11,720
Or waterboarding.
I'd love to be waterboarded to death.
392
00:22:11,897 --> 00:22:15,731
Give me, like, three albums that you really
love, that meant something to you.
393
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:17,562
Licensed To III, the Beastie Boys.
394
00:22:17,736 --> 00:22:19,670
Oh, the best.
395
00:22:19,838 --> 00:22:23,069
That was one because it was dangerous.
And I had no danger in my life.
396
00:22:23,241 --> 00:22:25,232
I thought like...
My idea of danger was like...
397
00:22:25,410 --> 00:22:27,503
...getting chocolate milk
from the lunch lady.
398
00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:30,580
Okay, what's the meanest lie
you've ever told someone...
399
00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:33,741
...to get them out in the morning?
- I had to meet my wife for breakfast.
400
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,625
Ready?
There we go. Learn by doing.
401
00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:46,320
There it is.
402
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:49,467
- That way. Love that. Love that.
- Yay!
403
00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:51,568
Okay, run. Wrong way.
Go the other way.
404
00:22:51,737 --> 00:22:52,761
Fuck!
405
00:22:55,540 --> 00:22:58,441
No, no, no! No!
406
00:23:15,260 --> 00:23:16,249
Ugh.
407
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:18,896
I mean, is that gonna go on all day?
- I don't know. Probably.
408
00:23:19,064 --> 00:23:20,531
We're staring directly at you.
409
00:23:20,699 --> 00:23:23,532
We're rowing
like a bunch of Viking slaves.
410
00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:26,227
Come on, we're having fun here.
We're staring at you.
411
00:23:40,786 --> 00:23:42,845
Do you wanna have kids?
412
00:23:43,021 --> 00:23:44,488
Why, you wanna take those kids?
413
00:23:44,656 --> 00:23:48,524
No, I mean, just like, you know,
later on in life, do you wanna have kids?
414
00:23:48,693 --> 00:23:50,285
Yeah, of course.
415
00:23:50,462 --> 00:23:51,656
Do you?
416
00:23:51,963 --> 00:23:53,089
I don't know.
417
00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:55,893
That's why I like coming
and looking at the old couples.
418
00:23:56,067 --> 00:24:00,470
Some of them seem genuinely, not only
happy, but sometimes I think, content.
419
00:24:00,672 --> 00:24:03,607
I think sometimes that's more important
than, like, happiness.
420
00:24:03,775 --> 00:24:06,869
Like the guy we saw in the plaid shirt
walking down... He's happy.
421
00:24:07,045 --> 00:24:10,242
The only way you're content in life
is if you marry your best friend.
422
00:24:10,415 --> 00:24:12,940
- They make each other laugh...
- So I have to marry Dan?
423
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,052
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Or Box? They gotta duke it out.
424
00:24:15,387 --> 00:24:16,581
I'm having fun.
425
00:24:16,755 --> 00:24:18,222
Me too.
426
00:24:18,924 --> 00:24:21,859
I'm only here for a couple more weeks.
Right.
427
00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:24,051
But maybe you'll come back one day.
428
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,862
Pushing that deadline another day.
- Sure.
429
00:24:32,804 --> 00:24:33,862
See you.
430
00:24:34,906 --> 00:24:38,034
- Um, excuse me, Hugh? Hi.
- Oh, hey.
431
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:42,271
Um, I just wanted to say goodbye
because it's my last day...
432
00:24:42,447 --> 00:24:43,505
Well, goodbye.
433
00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:47,584
I was curious, um, what did you think
of my Grant-A-Dream piece?
434
00:24:47,853 --> 00:24:49,844
Uh... Oh, it was good.
We're gonna run it.
435
00:24:50,021 --> 00:24:51,579
- You are?
- Yeah.
436
00:24:51,756 --> 00:24:53,223
- Really?
- Yeah.
437
00:24:53,391 --> 00:24:56,451
- Well, that's great.
- Yeah. Tuesday. Congratulations.
438
00:24:56,628 --> 00:24:58,289
- Nice piece of writing.
- Thank you.
439
00:24:58,463 --> 00:24:59,487
Yeah. Good work.
440
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:02,428
I want you to know
what an incredible experience I had here.
441
00:25:02,834 --> 00:25:04,392
Good.
442
00:25:06,104 --> 00:25:07,264
Okay.
443
00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:11,705
Do you think that there's
any possible chance in the future...
444
00:25:11,877 --> 00:25:13,367
...that it could lead to a job?
445
00:25:14,679 --> 00:25:17,773
Well, look, you know,
you're a good writer...
446
00:25:17,949 --> 00:25:20,008
...and anything's possible...
447
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:22,619
...so why don't you call me
after the new year, okay?
448
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:25,950
- And we'll see where things are at.
- I will call you in January.
449
00:25:26,124 --> 00:25:27,887
- Okay, good. Perfect.
- Like, the first.
450
00:25:28,059 --> 00:25:30,459
- All right. Great.
- At like 5 a. m.
451
00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:33,928
Great, that's good, Erin. Thank you.
Just remember the time difference.
452
00:25:34,099 --> 00:25:37,193
- Okay. Bye, Hugh. Thank you.
- Take care. Okay, bye, now.
453
00:25:40,171 --> 00:25:41,502
Hey, you.
454
00:25:41,673 --> 00:25:44,471
Good afternoon, is Erin there, please?
455
00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:46,008
This is Erin.
456
00:25:46,177 --> 00:25:49,169
Is it? Well, this is Garrett Austin Scully
telephoning.
457
00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:52,316
I met you at that bar
by the Centipede machine.
458
00:25:52,484 --> 00:25:55,817
Yeah, I remember. Nice hair, decent face.
459
00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,477
Ah. That's the one.
460
00:25:57,656 --> 00:26:00,090
Listen, I know this is your
last night in New York...
461
00:26:00,258 --> 00:26:03,352
...so I was wondering if you would
allow me to take you out...
462
00:26:03,528 --> 00:26:05,962
...for a nice farewell dinner.
463
00:26:06,131 --> 00:26:07,996
I would love to.
464
00:26:13,371 --> 00:26:17,467
All right, I don't wanna impress you all
at once but these are actual cloth napkins.
465
00:26:18,176 --> 00:26:20,508
- That's genuine cloth, that's polyester.
- Ooh. Ha, ha.
466
00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:24,581
Yeah, not to put on airs or anything,
and all-you-can-eat garlic balls.
467
00:26:24,749 --> 00:26:30,210
Ha-ha-ha. Wow. You have really
outdone yourself, Mr. Scully.
468
00:26:30,722 --> 00:26:32,485
I will take that not sarcastically.
469
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:33,948
Good evening.
470
00:26:34,125 --> 00:26:36,889
Um, can I get your drink order
to start with?
471
00:26:37,062 --> 00:26:38,529
- Should we get some wine?
- Yeah.
472
00:26:38,697 --> 00:26:40,858
- Do you have a list?
- Uh, we don't.
473
00:26:41,032 --> 00:26:44,160
We just have the one,
the jug of wine?
474
00:26:44,336 --> 00:26:46,531
It's a Sunshine Harbor?
475
00:26:46,705 --> 00:26:49,572
It's the house wine.
476
00:26:49,741 --> 00:26:51,606
And how is it?
How would you describe it?
477
00:26:51,776 --> 00:26:55,371
- Um, it's okay. You know.
- Well, there you go.
478
00:26:55,547 --> 00:26:57,708
- All right.
Well done. Well played.
479
00:26:57,882 --> 00:27:01,010
I think the lady and I will partake
of the Sunshine Harbor...
480
00:27:01,186 --> 00:27:02,847
...per your glowing recommendation.
481
00:27:03,054 --> 00:27:05,079
- Um, now, what year is this?
- Uh...
482
00:27:05,256 --> 00:27:06,280
This.
483
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,949
Nothing worse than an old wine.
484
00:27:09,561 --> 00:27:10,960
That's how I feel.
485
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,427
- I'll be right back to get your order.
- Okay.
486
00:27:16,401 --> 00:27:18,392
Um, ahem.
487
00:27:18,570 --> 00:27:22,529
I just wanna thank you
for calling me a lady.
488
00:27:22,707 --> 00:27:29,078
Well, because you are a beautiful, funny,
intelligent woman...
489
00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:31,913
...who I've had
an amazing time with.
490
00:27:32,083 --> 00:27:33,812
Yeah, I'm bummed it's our last night.
491
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:35,877
Me too.
492
00:27:36,421 --> 00:27:37,945
And I've...
493
00:27:38,189 --> 00:27:40,987
I don't think I've ever enjoyed
getting to know someone more.
494
00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:43,890
It's been such a good six weeks.
495
00:27:44,262 --> 00:27:45,320
Went by so fast.
496
00:27:47,065 --> 00:27:48,999
I can't really articulate.
497
00:27:49,167 --> 00:27:50,600
Six weeks too fast.
498
00:27:51,036 --> 00:27:52,333
Me like you.
499
00:27:52,804 --> 00:27:53,896
Wine.
500
00:28:00,912 --> 00:28:02,937
- Oh, my God.
- That's disgusting.
501
00:28:03,114 --> 00:28:05,639
You're lucky you didn't keep it in,
because I'm getting an ulcer.
502
00:28:58,303 --> 00:28:59,668
Well, I guess this is it.
503
00:28:59,838 --> 00:29:03,137
Yeah. Guess this is it.
504
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,242
Take care of yourself.
505
00:29:16,287 --> 00:29:17,777
Okay.
506
00:29:18,556 --> 00:29:20,547
- Okay, bye.
- I'll s...
507
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:25,088
- Uh... Oh, let me...
- I got it, I got it.
508
00:29:41,746 --> 00:29:43,213
Whoa, whoa.
You can't leave your car there.
509
00:29:43,381 --> 00:29:45,611
- No, I...
- You can't leave your car at the curb.
510
00:29:45,817 --> 00:29:48,945
- I need to talk to this girl quickly.
- Shit, you chasing a girl?
511
00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:51,054
- Yeah.
- For real?
512
00:29:51,222 --> 00:29:53,349
- Yeah.
- She got a nice ass?
513
00:29:53,825 --> 00:29:54,917
Like the wind.
514
00:29:55,093 --> 00:29:57,425
- What the hell does that mean?
- I have no idea.
515
00:29:58,029 --> 00:30:00,224
Please. Two seconds.
516
00:30:00,598 --> 00:30:02,463
- Go on, now.
- Thank you, thank you.
517
00:30:02,934 --> 00:30:05,664
Thank you so much.
Thank you, thank you.
518
00:30:12,443 --> 00:30:15,173
Langford. Hey!
519
00:30:15,380 --> 00:30:16,972
- What are you doing?
- That sucked.
520
00:30:17,148 --> 00:30:18,274
- I know.
- God.
521
00:30:18,449 --> 00:30:19,575
- That was terrible.
- Terrible.
522
00:30:19,751 --> 00:30:21,378
- I can't end it like this.
- Neither can I.
523
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:23,111
And that car ride was a disaster.
524
00:30:23,288 --> 00:30:25,256
Oh, that was awful. It was so awkward.
525
00:30:25,423 --> 00:30:26,447
So awkward.
526
00:30:26,624 --> 00:30:27,921
- It's the worst.
- The worst.
527
00:30:28,092 --> 00:30:29,252
Yeah, sorry, go ahead.
528
00:30:29,427 --> 00:30:30,485
Thank you.
Good, good.
529
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,927
I didn't know if you wanted to keep
doing this or how you felt.
530
00:30:34,098 --> 00:30:36,623
I just... I freaked out, okay?
531
00:30:37,402 --> 00:30:39,131
I've had such a good time with you...
532
00:30:39,304 --> 00:30:41,431
...and a part of me
doesn't want that to end...
533
00:30:41,606 --> 00:30:44,473
...but I have been down this road before
with a guy.
534
00:30:44,642 --> 00:30:48,078
I dropped out of college and I followed him
across the country...
535
00:30:48,246 --> 00:30:50,976
...and I dropped everything for him.
536
00:30:51,616 --> 00:30:54,084
And that's why my timeline is all off,
you know?
537
00:30:54,252 --> 00:30:56,948
And now I finally got everything
back on track...
538
00:30:57,121 --> 00:30:58,952
...you know, with my life and school...
539
00:30:59,123 --> 00:31:01,683
...and then you had to come along...
540
00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,488
...and fuck that all up.
- Ow.
541
00:31:04,796 --> 00:31:06,263
I'm sorry.
542
00:31:06,431 --> 00:31:09,264
I'm not asking you to drop out of school
or even move here.
543
00:31:09,434 --> 00:31:14,133
I'm just asking to see you
because I don't wanna lose you.
544
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:17,868
Fuck the miles. Fuck them.
545
00:31:18,042 --> 00:31:21,375
I'll be here and you'll be there
and we'll just be long-distance...
546
00:31:21,546 --> 00:31:24,913
...because quite frankly,
I'm crazy about you.
547
00:31:26,017 --> 00:31:27,678
I'm crazy about you too.
548
00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,530
I'm so glad you picked me up.
549
00:31:41,699 --> 00:31:43,291
Of course.
550
00:31:43,468 --> 00:31:45,493
Maya made you something.
551
00:31:47,438 --> 00:31:51,204
- She's here.
- Hi, everybody.
552
00:31:51,609 --> 00:31:54,510
- Hi. Hi, my beautiful niece.
Hi.
553
00:31:54,679 --> 00:31:55,703
Hi.
554
00:31:56,214 --> 00:31:57,681
"The suspect, Mr. Jones...
555
00:31:57,849 --> 00:32:00,977
...was heavily intoxicated
when he fired the. 44 Magnum. "
556
00:32:01,152 --> 00:32:04,849
We need to know where this information
is coming from. Is this your own theory?
557
00:32:07,292 --> 00:32:09,419
Aw, come on, man.
Come on, dude.
558
00:32:09,661 --> 00:32:10,685
Are you serious?
559
00:32:10,862 --> 00:32:12,022
- All right.
What are y...?
560
00:32:12,196 --> 00:32:13,663
- Hold on.
- "What are you doing?"
561
00:32:13,831 --> 00:32:15,765
"Nothing. What are you doing?"
562
00:32:15,934 --> 00:32:18,425
"Nothing.
This funny thing happened at work. "
563
00:32:18,603 --> 00:32:20,366
"This funny thing happened at school. "
564
00:32:26,110 --> 00:32:29,273
He sneezed and scared mommy panda.
565
00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:33,076
Oh, my God. Baby panda has a cold.
566
00:32:36,854 --> 00:32:39,618
I had a thing when I was a kid.
I was obsessed with, like...
567
00:32:39,791 --> 00:32:45,161
I thought it was cool to not have lips.
Like Michael J. Fox and Jason Bateman.
568
00:32:45,330 --> 00:32:46,991
Those guys, like, I idolized them.
569
00:32:47,198 --> 00:32:50,361
They didn't have, like, lips,
and I had, like, big weird lips.
570
00:33:04,916 --> 00:33:06,611
- Oh.
- Ha-ha-ha.
571
00:33:18,563 --> 00:33:21,259
Look at that. You're up.
572
00:33:22,934 --> 00:33:24,458
You kidding me?
573
00:33:24,969 --> 00:33:27,437
What are you doing? Come on. Come...
574
00:33:27,605 --> 00:33:29,163
- What the fuck?
Oh!
575
00:33:29,340 --> 00:33:30,432
Fore!
576
00:33:30,608 --> 00:33:33,270
- Are you fucking kidding?
- Yeah, that was a joke.
577
00:33:37,448 --> 00:33:38,642
You're such an asshole.
578
00:33:38,816 --> 00:33:40,943
I gotta program all my numbers
into this goddamn thing.
579
00:33:41,119 --> 00:33:43,519
Ha, ha. Come on, man,
my actions were justified.
580
00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:44,848
It was a pretty good hit.
581
00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:47,685
It was funny, I'll give
you that, but justified? Really?
582
00:33:47,859 --> 00:33:50,259
- Destroying my phone? Come on.
No, maybe not.
583
00:33:50,428 --> 00:33:52,487
No, probably not. Not at all.
584
00:33:52,663 --> 00:33:55,131
No, but it's like her vagina
has you possessed.
585
00:33:55,533 --> 00:33:56,966
I like him. A lot.
586
00:33:57,135 --> 00:33:59,035
Okay, I know, I know,
but are you dating?
587
00:33:59,203 --> 00:34:02,434
- Are you in an exclusive relationship?
- I don't know.
588
00:34:02,607 --> 00:34:04,871
What do you mean?
Don't you think you should know?
589
00:34:05,043 --> 00:34:09,377
I mean, he could be out there dry humping
half of New York City right now.
590
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:12,015
"Dry humping"? Oh, that's scandalous.
That worries me.
591
00:34:12,183 --> 00:34:14,174
Phil and I dry hump. Okay?
592
00:34:14,352 --> 00:34:16,343
And it is intense. And it's very erotic.
593
00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:18,785
And it's the only way
that I can actually get off.
594
00:34:18,956 --> 00:34:20,981
Dry humping is no fucking joke.
595
00:34:21,159 --> 00:34:25,027
So I think that you need to be clear
about what this relationship is.
596
00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:26,823
Now what is the story
with you guys?
597
00:34:26,998 --> 00:34:29,193
Are you doing it monogamous
or what's the deal?
598
00:34:29,367 --> 00:34:30,800
Yeah.
599
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:32,869
I don't know. Uh...
600
00:34:33,037 --> 00:34:34,402
- Maybe, yeah.
- "Maybe"?
601
00:34:34,839 --> 00:34:37,364
Wow, okay.
You know what "maybe" gets you?
602
00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:41,034
It gets her sucking every dude's dick
out there at Stanford. It really does.
603
00:34:41,212 --> 00:34:42,645
Then you go and visit her.
604
00:34:42,814 --> 00:34:45,442
You have to kiss that blow-job factory
she calls a mouth.
605
00:34:45,616 --> 00:34:47,982
Thank you for that visual. Thanks, pal.
606
00:34:48,152 --> 00:34:51,588
That was, like, way graphic.
That was, like, extremely graphic.
607
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:55,021
He's thousands of miles away from here.
You don't know what he's doing.
608
00:34:55,193 --> 00:35:00,153
He could be at some bar,
doing shots with some sexy bartender...
609
00:35:00,331 --> 00:35:01,389
...dry humping her.
610
00:35:01,566 --> 00:35:03,557
We haven't set the boundaries yet.
611
00:35:03,734 --> 00:35:04,860
- Okay?
- Oh, my God.
612
00:35:05,036 --> 00:35:07,470
We're not trying to choke each other
with commitment.
613
00:35:07,638 --> 00:35:09,196
But now you're freaking me out...
614
00:35:09,373 --> 00:35:13,104
...and I can't do anything but picture him
humping some bartender. Thank you.
615
00:35:13,277 --> 00:35:16,075
I'm your sister.
This is what I'm here to do: Terrify you.
616
00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:18,477
- I see Phil dry humping you.
- You don't wanna.
617
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:22,346
I don't wanna think about
what that looks like. It's not pretty.
618
00:35:22,553 --> 00:35:24,748
Like, between the snorting
and the slobbering...
619
00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:26,480
...he's like a fucking shar-pei.
620
00:35:26,657 --> 00:35:27,919
Or what are those dogs with the:
621
00:35:29,393 --> 00:35:32,556
- Bulldogs?
- Yeah. Like a fucking bulldog.
622
00:35:32,730 --> 00:35:34,925
Does he look up at you
when he goes down on you?
623
00:35:35,099 --> 00:35:37,260
- Wanting approval?
- Yes. Ha, ha.
624
00:35:37,435 --> 00:35:39,130
"Am I doing it okay? Am I doing it?"
625
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:41,430
- I hate that. Shut up and lick.
- It's horrible.
626
00:35:41,606 --> 00:35:43,005
I don't know, actually.
627
00:35:43,174 --> 00:35:45,699
Okay, look, look.
Can you see other people? All right?
628
00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:47,469
Can you hook up with other people?
629
00:35:47,645 --> 00:35:49,943
- Can you masturbate?
- Masturbate?
630
00:35:50,114 --> 00:35:51,945
Can you masturbate yourself off at all?
631
00:35:52,116 --> 00:35:54,380
- Why wouldn't I?
- Some girls frown upon that.
632
00:35:54,552 --> 00:35:57,783
- Some girls don't like you to masturbate.
- She's not like a puritan.
633
00:35:57,955 --> 00:36:02,483
Well, I'm just saying, like, some women
don't like people masturbating.
634
00:36:02,660 --> 00:36:04,719
Because I can hear you
through the walls.
635
00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:05,988
And you crack off a lot.
636
00:36:06,164 --> 00:36:07,461
"Crack it off"?
637
00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:08,656
Who says "crack off"?
638
00:36:08,833 --> 00:36:10,027
Why? What do you say?
639
00:36:10,201 --> 00:36:12,135
You may be thinking
of "snap one off"?
640
00:36:12,303 --> 00:36:14,965
- "Snap it off"?
- Or "pop"? Like, "pop one off"?
641
00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:17,937
I don't want anything to snap and pop
when I'm masturbating.
642
00:36:18,109 --> 00:36:20,009
- Lf it cracks a little bit, fine.
- "Fine"?
643
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:23,670
The point is, you're gonna chafe yourself
cracking off as much as you do.
644
00:36:23,848 --> 00:36:26,373
All right, so, we...
Do you need help across the street?
645
00:36:26,551 --> 00:36:27,848
Okay. Don't pull, though.
646
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:31,352
He goes crazy.
He's furious with his penis or something.
647
00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:32,580
Angry.
648
00:36:32,757 --> 00:36:34,588
Angry masturbation,
which is dangerous.
649
00:36:34,759 --> 00:36:36,522
- You can really injure yourself.
- Yeah.
650
00:36:36,694 --> 00:36:38,286
So he doesn't really know that.
651
00:36:38,462 --> 00:36:40,953
Yeah. I have to tell my grandson that.
652
00:36:41,132 --> 00:36:43,828
Tell your grandson.
Tell your grandson's friends, you know?
653
00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:45,332
Well, just him. Not others.
654
00:36:45,503 --> 00:36:49,303
You're right. Just him.
It might get awkward telling all his friends.
655
00:36:51,042 --> 00:36:53,340
I guess you have to define it
at some point.
656
00:36:53,744 --> 00:36:57,305
So I guess we're saying...
657
00:36:58,249 --> 00:37:00,274
...we're exclusive?
658
00:37:00,451 --> 00:37:03,147
- Yeah.
- Great.
659
00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:04,811
- I'm happy.
- Me too.
660
00:37:04,989 --> 00:37:08,516
Secretly, this is what I was aiming for.
661
00:37:08,693 --> 00:37:11,025
Well, not-so-secretly, me too.
662
00:37:11,195 --> 00:37:12,219
Keep it light.
663
00:37:12,396 --> 00:37:14,489
Light. Disease-free and light.
664
00:37:14,665 --> 00:37:16,724
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Bye.
665
00:37:17,435 --> 00:37:18,527
Goodbye.
666
00:37:21,606 --> 00:37:26,202
Can I please get the garbage omelet,
double meat, home fries...
667
00:37:26,377 --> 00:37:28,208
...and how about everything bagel...
668
00:37:28,379 --> 00:37:31,348
...with butter, cream cheese,
jelly, all that shit.
669
00:37:31,515 --> 00:37:33,949
And then, you know what?
I'll take a chocolate shake.
670
00:37:34,118 --> 00:37:35,847
And I will make it very easy for you.
671
00:37:36,020 --> 00:37:38,511
- You know, I'll have that same exact thing.
- Okay.
672
00:37:38,689 --> 00:37:40,623
- I'll just have the turkey burger.
Okay.
673
00:37:40,791 --> 00:37:45,694
Is there a way to just wrap it in lettuce,
like use lettuce for the bun?
674
00:37:45,863 --> 00:37:47,831
Can do no bun. Does that work?
- No bun.
675
00:37:47,999 --> 00:37:49,159
Fries or salad?
676
00:37:49,333 --> 00:37:52,860
Uh, I'll get the salad
with dressing on the side.
677
00:37:53,037 --> 00:37:55,096
Yep, coming up.
- Thank you.
678
00:37:56,307 --> 00:37:57,672
- Wow.
- What?
679
00:37:57,842 --> 00:38:00,333
- You're eating like a bird there, huh?
- No.
680
00:38:00,511 --> 00:38:03,912
He's visiting Erin for Thanksgiving
and worrying about his weight.
681
00:38:04,081 --> 00:38:05,105
- All right.
- Jesus.
682
00:38:05,283 --> 00:38:07,080
I told you not to say anything.
683
00:38:07,852 --> 00:38:09,945
We haven't seen each other
in a while, okay?
684
00:38:10,121 --> 00:38:12,089
Okay, I understand.
That makes sense to me.
685
00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:14,247
- Wanna tighten up.
- I get you, I get you.
686
00:38:14,425 --> 00:38:18,054
If you're so worried about your appearance,
are you gonna do something...
687
00:38:18,229 --> 00:38:19,696
...about your veiny, white skin?
Mm.
688
00:38:19,864 --> 00:38:22,264
Right now you look like an actor
in a kabuki troupe.
689
00:38:22,433 --> 00:38:24,560
- You're one to talk about appearances.
- How so?
690
00:38:24,735 --> 00:38:26,930
No offense, but with the moustache...
691
00:38:27,104 --> 00:38:29,470
- What? You don't like it?
- It's disgusting.
692
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:31,904
I don't care what you think.
This is not for you.
693
00:38:32,076 --> 00:38:33,600
Who's it for, the '83 Yankees bullpen?
694
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,310
- Now, there we are.
- Very funny.
695
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:40,473
No, I'm actually trying to scratch a very
specific demographic off of my fuck-it list.
696
00:38:40,651 --> 00:38:43,643
- What's a fuck-it list?
- He's got this list like a bucket list...
697
00:38:43,821 --> 00:38:46,415
...but it's women he's trying to bang
before he dies.
698
00:38:46,590 --> 00:38:49,058
So, what kind of women
are you hoping to attract?
699
00:38:49,226 --> 00:38:51,820
- Older women, between 45 and 60.
- Oh, so, cougars.
700
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:54,294
- This is where it's weird.
- No. No, not cougars.
701
00:38:54,465 --> 00:38:57,298
Okay, see, cougars, to me,
are sad, desperate older women...
702
00:38:57,468 --> 00:38:58,992
...that want to be young now.
703
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,628
Okay? But what I'm looking for are older
attractive women...
704
00:39:02,807 --> 00:39:05,298
...that want to be young again.
All right?
705
00:39:05,476 --> 00:39:08,639
See, when women see me
with a moustache of that type...
706
00:39:08,813 --> 00:39:11,373
...they're transported back
when the moustache was king:
707
00:39:11,549 --> 00:39:13,073
- The '70s, the early '80s.
- Right.
708
00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:15,445
All right?
The era of their sexual awakening.
709
00:39:15,619 --> 00:39:18,611
So then, when I'm on top of them,
and they look up at me...
710
00:39:18,789 --> 00:39:21,485
...they see this person,
they're transported to that time.
711
00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:24,526
All right? See, this isn't a moustache,
it's a time machine.
712
00:39:24,695 --> 00:39:27,323
It's a time machine
to the back of Burt Reynolds' Camaro.
713
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:29,097
Right. You know what, it's...
714
00:39:29,266 --> 00:39:31,461
Bottom line is don't get a moustache,
get a tan.
715
00:39:31,635 --> 00:39:35,127
I don't think she's that kind of girl.
I don't think she's that superficial.
716
00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:37,672
Okay, so she won't bang fat dudes...
717
00:39:37,842 --> 00:39:41,403
...but she will sleep with a guy
that looks like his face is covered in jizz?
718
00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:43,547
If she's gonna
dump you for eating carbs...
719
00:39:43,714 --> 00:39:46,774
...she'll dump you for not having a tan.
- That's true.
720
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:48,847
All right, I get the point.
721
00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:53,751
Once you're in the machine,
it's pretty self-explanatory.
722
00:39:53,924 --> 00:39:56,791
You're gonna wanna put this on
your hands, under your nails...
723
00:39:56,961 --> 00:39:58,724
...unless you want your hands stained.
724
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:01,023
- Right this way.
- Okay.
725
00:40:01,665 --> 00:40:03,963
- Enjoy the Faux de Soleil.
- Just a quick question. Uh...
726
00:40:34,432 --> 00:40:38,664
- Ooh.
Hello. Tanning will begin in five...
727
00:40:38,969 --> 00:40:41,563
- Uh...
... four, three...
728
00:40:41,739 --> 00:40:43,798
- Should I be wearing underwear?
... two, one.
729
00:40:43,974 --> 00:40:47,102
Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, goddamn it.
730
00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:48,438
Oh, and it stings.
731
00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:49,943
Fuck. Fuck, my eyes sting.
732
00:40:50,114 --> 00:40:51,604
What is this? Excuse me.
733
00:40:51,782 --> 00:40:53,545
Should I be wearing goggles?
734
00:40:53,717 --> 00:40:55,685
It stings. Is this bad?
735
00:40:56,253 --> 00:40:59,245
Ah. Tastes gross. Pff, pff.
736
00:40:59,423 --> 00:41:01,516
Tastes like poison. Pff, pff.
737
00:41:01,692 --> 00:41:04,024
Should I...? Is it bad if I eat it?
738
00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:13,528
Erin, you just got sat another table.
739
00:41:13,704 --> 00:41:16,366
No way. I closed out my section.
You know it, dude.
740
00:41:16,540 --> 00:41:19,873
Well, you were requested. So...
741
00:41:20,244 --> 00:41:21,268
Sorry, Mama.
742
00:41:24,515 --> 00:41:27,211
Goddamn it.
743
00:41:29,653 --> 00:41:32,144
I'm not gonna order anything,
I want you to know.
744
00:41:32,323 --> 00:41:33,585
But I got a tip for you.
745
00:41:34,758 --> 00:41:36,623
Is it the tip of your penis?
746
00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:41,124
- No, gross. Yes, it is.
- Aah!
747
00:41:41,599 --> 00:41:42,657
Oh, my God.
748
00:41:44,301 --> 00:41:48,135
- Twenty percent of my dick.
- Ha-ha-ha!
749
00:41:58,983 --> 00:42:00,780
Oh, God, yes. Come on.
750
00:42:00,951 --> 00:42:03,476
Where's the bedroom?
- Too far.
751
00:42:03,654 --> 00:42:05,383
Come over here.
752
00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:09,022
Oh, God. Oh, I missed you.
753
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:11,118
Come here. God!
754
00:42:11,295 --> 00:42:13,229
Oh, God. Oh, God!
755
00:42:17,001 --> 00:42:18,161
Oh!
756
00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:25,599
Phil!
757
00:42:26,243 --> 00:42:28,438
They came in so fast,
I didn't know where to go.
758
00:42:29,547 --> 00:42:31,174
Hi. I'm Phil.
759
00:42:31,348 --> 00:42:32,713
Hey. I'm Garrett.
760
00:42:32,883 --> 00:42:34,544
- Nice to meet you.
Good to meet you.
761
00:42:34,718 --> 00:42:37,380
- Why are you introducing yourself?
- I don't wanna be rude.
762
00:42:37,555 --> 00:42:39,022
Get up. Fucking get up.
763
00:42:39,189 --> 00:42:40,486
Is she still here?
764
00:42:40,658 --> 00:42:43,218
- You got a handprint on your ass.
I'll tell you later.
765
00:42:43,394 --> 00:42:45,919
- Don't engage.
- I'm eating at a dinner table.
766
00:42:46,096 --> 00:42:49,623
- They're the ones fucking.
- Get fucking fuck upstairs.
767
00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,361
You guys are all set up, so I'll just...
768
00:42:52,836 --> 00:42:55,430
- Um...
Make yourself at home.
769
00:43:10,721 --> 00:43:11,915
Aw...
770
00:43:12,089 --> 00:43:16,219
Mm. Corinne,
these mashed potatoes are amazing.
771
00:43:16,393 --> 00:43:18,588
Thank you.
I spent all day cleaning the table.
772
00:43:19,063 --> 00:43:20,530
Sorry?
Making them.
773
00:43:20,698 --> 00:43:23,166
I spent...
It's an old recipe from the family.
774
00:43:23,701 --> 00:43:26,363
Ahem. Well, very good.
775
00:43:27,605 --> 00:43:29,937
- Um, Garrett.
Yes, Karen.
776
00:43:30,107 --> 00:43:33,099
Now, are you a singer or a musician?
777
00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,541
No. Neither one. Excuse me.
778
00:43:35,713 --> 00:43:38,011
Yeah, I'm just behind-the-scenes guy.
779
00:43:38,282 --> 00:43:43,447
He actually goes out and scouts
bands, and then he signs them to his label...
780
00:43:44,555 --> 00:43:47,115
...and he takes us
to, like, these amazing places.
781
00:43:47,291 --> 00:43:50,419
These seedy hole-in-the-walls
that you'd never know existed.
782
00:43:50,594 --> 00:43:52,528
- That sounds cool.
It's not that cool.
783
00:43:52,696 --> 00:43:54,596
- She's building it up.
It is cool.
784
00:43:54,765 --> 00:43:55,993
She's being sweet.
785
00:43:56,166 --> 00:43:58,794
Believe me, it's a lot more interesting
than what Ron does.
786
00:43:58,969 --> 00:44:01,233
Oh.
- He makes boxes for a living.
787
00:44:01,405 --> 00:44:04,897
Cardboard containers, Karen. Please.
They're cardboard... I'm a supervisor.
788
00:44:05,075 --> 00:44:08,101
- Pretty much boxes. Pretty much boxes.
- They're cardboard containers.
789
00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:11,711
Oh. I often use boxes.
790
00:44:13,317 --> 00:44:16,411
The thing about my job
is that it's in a state of flux.
791
00:44:16,587 --> 00:44:18,987
In fact, both of our fields
are kind of a little...
792
00:44:19,156 --> 00:44:21,283
- We're in very similar positions.
- Yeah.
793
00:44:21,458 --> 00:44:23,323
But we do it because we love it.
794
00:44:23,494 --> 00:44:24,961
We do it because we love it.
795
00:44:25,129 --> 00:44:28,223
So, Erin, did you know
he was coming in?
796
00:44:28,399 --> 00:44:30,264
No. He completely surprised me.
797
00:44:30,434 --> 00:44:31,458
Surprised me too.
798
00:44:32,970 --> 00:44:35,632
- No one knew.
And it was quite a surprise.
799
00:44:35,806 --> 00:44:39,401
But he surprised me at work
with flowers.
800
00:44:40,778 --> 00:44:43,338
- Oh.
- Jesus Christ.
801
00:44:43,514 --> 00:44:45,607
It wasn't a big deal.
802
00:44:45,783 --> 00:44:48,775
I didn't, like, rappel in from
some helicopter. I just showed up.
803
00:44:48,952 --> 00:44:51,011
How come you never do that?
Ha, ha.
804
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:52,678
Because we live together, Karen.
805
00:44:52,856 --> 00:44:55,620
I know, but it's nice
to show a gesture of appreciation.
806
00:44:55,793 --> 00:44:58,023
How long have you guys been together?
807
00:44:58,195 --> 00:45:00,663
- It's been a long time now. Yeah.
- Long time.
808
00:45:00,831 --> 00:45:04,164
It's kind of like when you get really drunk
and you just black out...
809
00:45:04,334 --> 00:45:07,030
...you don't know how much time's
gone by. Sort of a similar feeling.
810
00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:10,601
Oh.
811
00:45:10,774 --> 00:45:14,540
Erin, Karen, would you come help me
in the kitchen with dessert?
812
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:18,409
Absolutely. Corinne's gonna go assassinate
your character. I gotta play defense.
813
00:45:18,582 --> 00:45:21,415
- Oh. Hurry. Hurry up.
Yeah.
814
00:45:22,386 --> 00:45:24,081
Um...
815
00:45:24,521 --> 00:45:29,390
So, Ron, do you make all different sizes
of boxes, or do you specialize in a certain...?
816
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,291
Do you have any idea of the trouble
that you're causing us there, chief?
817
00:45:35,499 --> 00:45:37,660
Ron, please,
tell me what's bothering you.
818
00:45:37,835 --> 00:45:40,030
I'll tell you what's bothering me there,
bucko.
819
00:45:40,204 --> 00:45:43,071
You just caused a prime-time problem
between me and my wife.
820
00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:46,676
Now I gotta go home and listen to her
complain that I don't do enough for her.
821
00:45:46,844 --> 00:45:50,803
Ha, ha. You think some effing sappy shit
makes you a real boyfriend?
822
00:45:50,981 --> 00:45:52,744
I stopped listening after "bucko. "
823
00:45:52,916 --> 00:45:56,682
Listen up. We're in the effing trenches here,
where the real hell happens.
824
00:45:56,854 --> 00:45:58,788
All right? And we're here every day.
825
00:45:58,956 --> 00:46:02,016
It's not about flowers and presents
and showing up for the weekend.
826
00:46:02,192 --> 00:46:06,925
Do you think you can just come in here
with your fake tan and your girl shirt?
827
00:46:07,097 --> 00:46:08,121
What?
828
00:46:08,298 --> 00:46:10,698
You think that's what it's like
when you're married?
829
00:46:10,868 --> 00:46:15,134
When you're in a serious,
long-term relationship?
830
00:46:15,339 --> 00:46:19,002
You think you're gonna be able to work out
and keep that nice ass of yours?
831
00:46:19,309 --> 00:46:21,174
No. You're not gonna be able to keep it.
832
00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:28,517
And I don't wanna say
833
00:46:30,020 --> 00:46:32,386
If it goes away
834
00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:33,980
Hey.
835
00:46:34,158 --> 00:46:36,058
- Hey, how are you?
I'm good. How are you?
836
00:46:36,226 --> 00:46:38,490
Hey, do you remember my friend Harper
from work?
837
00:46:38,695 --> 00:46:41,391
Yeah, we've met. How are you?
It's good to see you again.
838
00:46:54,611 --> 00:46:57,842
What the rest did
I was average
839
00:46:58,015 --> 00:47:00,643
But I don't mind
840
00:47:01,885 --> 00:47:05,321
Drawn on two sides
Without disguise
841
00:47:05,489 --> 00:47:08,219
But I don't mind
842
00:47:08,392 --> 00:47:11,156
And I, I spit fire
843
00:47:11,328 --> 00:47:13,193
- Hey.
- Hey.
844
00:47:13,997 --> 00:47:16,056
- I love them. Yeah.
- Yeah? They're so good.
845
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:18,929
You don't believe me
846
00:47:19,102 --> 00:47:22,094
They spent three years and all their money
getting this produced.
847
00:47:22,272 --> 00:47:23,330
Really?
848
00:47:23,507 --> 00:47:25,498
These are the bands
that should get noticed.
849
00:47:25,676 --> 00:47:30,375
I hate that. I hate that a band like this
would get passed over because of money.
850
00:47:30,614 --> 00:47:33,412
It's just take a chance on someone
because they deserve it...
851
00:47:33,584 --> 00:47:35,415
...because they're genuinely talented.
852
00:47:35,986 --> 00:47:37,180
Sorry. I'm sorry.
853
00:47:37,354 --> 00:47:40,881
It's just frustrating because I know
at my label they'd never go for this.
854
00:47:41,058 --> 00:47:43,253
It would be like a waste of time
to bring it up.
855
00:47:43,427 --> 00:47:46,624
Well, if you act all melodramatic
like that, yeah, it would be.
856
00:47:46,797 --> 00:47:50,255
But if you showed your balls and you
went in there and got in their face...
857
00:47:50,434 --> 00:47:53,403
...and said "listen to this,"
the worst they could do is say no.
858
00:47:53,570 --> 00:47:55,800
Or get mad at you
because you showed your balls.
859
00:47:55,973 --> 00:47:58,669
There you are.
Damon.
860
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,776
Hi. How are you?
861
00:48:00,944 --> 00:48:02,912
- I'm all right. How are you?
- I'm great.
862
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,342
What's going on?
863
00:48:04,514 --> 00:48:05,674
- Hey. Garrett.
- I'm Damon.
864
00:48:05,849 --> 00:48:07,510
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
865
00:48:07,684 --> 00:48:10,847
- We all work together. He is the bartender.
- Oh, wow.
866
00:48:11,388 --> 00:48:12,412
- Cheers.
Cheers.
867
00:48:12,589 --> 00:48:16,286
Where have you been, Damon?
- Um, I was just helping my mom move.
868
00:48:16,460 --> 00:48:17,449
Aw...
869
00:48:17,628 --> 00:48:19,186
No, she's just getting old...
870
00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:22,196
...and I want her to live closer to me,
you know?
871
00:48:22,366 --> 00:48:23,390
Aw...
872
00:48:23,567 --> 00:48:24,556
Gush.
873
00:48:24,735 --> 00:48:27,966
It's funny, because I actually want my
mother to move further away from me.
874
00:48:30,274 --> 00:48:32,504
- Damon is close with his mom.
Good, good, good.
875
00:48:32,676 --> 00:48:35,702
- Well, you know, it's my mom, you know?
So cute.
876
00:48:35,879 --> 00:48:37,608
- "And then my mom. "
- My mom.
877
00:48:37,781 --> 00:48:40,272
Mothers are important.
Yeah, they are.
878
00:48:40,450 --> 00:48:42,714
You wouldn't be here
if it weren't for her vagina.
879
00:48:42,886 --> 00:48:44,251
Found it easy
880
00:48:44,421 --> 00:48:50,792
Easy
881
00:48:57,734 --> 00:48:59,861
Ooh. Shh.
882
00:49:00,037 --> 00:49:01,527
What?
Sorry. Sorry.
883
00:49:01,705 --> 00:49:05,163
Maya. Oh.
Okay.
884
00:49:05,609 --> 00:49:06,735
Hells yeah.
885
00:49:07,678 --> 00:49:09,646
- Icing and vodka.
- Mm.
886
00:49:09,813 --> 00:49:12,941
- That's a great chaser. Mm.
- Mm. Taste it.
887
00:49:15,852 --> 00:49:18,377
So Damon seems like a good guy.
888
00:49:18,555 --> 00:49:20,352
Oh, my God. He's amazing.
889
00:49:20,524 --> 00:49:23,459
- Like my rock.
- Your rock?
890
00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,720
Yeah, I wouldn't get through work
without him.
891
00:49:25,896 --> 00:49:28,922
Wow. And he's handsome,
and he loves his mother, and...
892
00:49:30,701 --> 00:49:33,636
- Are you jealous?
- Aw, come on. Come on.
893
00:49:34,137 --> 00:49:35,832
No. Mm-mm.
894
00:49:36,006 --> 00:49:37,132
Yes, you are.
895
00:49:37,507 --> 00:49:41,443
I'm just a little curious if you guys
have ever, you know...
896
00:49:41,611 --> 00:49:43,579
You know. Sorry.
897
00:49:45,849 --> 00:49:48,477
No. No. Not at all.
898
00:49:49,286 --> 00:49:51,049
Oh, my God.
899
00:49:51,755 --> 00:49:53,916
You always gotta close your eyes.
900
00:50:04,401 --> 00:50:06,426
- Hey, Corinne.
Hey.
901
00:50:06,603 --> 00:50:09,003
I'm taking off.
902
00:50:09,639 --> 00:50:13,336
Um, can I help you? I don't know
what happened. It was something...
903
00:50:13,510 --> 00:50:14,807
- No! No! No.
- Oh, God.
904
00:50:14,978 --> 00:50:17,105
- Sorry. No. No thank you. I'm good.
- Okay.
905
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:18,679
- I'm good.
- I'm so sorry.
906
00:50:20,283 --> 00:50:25,084
Our introduction was not how I imagined
it would be, obviously...
907
00:50:27,524 --> 00:50:28,616
...but that was my hand.
908
00:50:30,060 --> 00:50:34,588
The handprint on my, uh, buttocks...
909
00:50:36,299 --> 00:50:38,665
...and my genitalia.
910
00:50:39,736 --> 00:50:41,727
You have a handprint on your crotch too?
911
00:50:43,974 --> 00:50:45,942
- You ready?
Yes. Great.
912
00:50:47,844 --> 00:50:50,506
- Okay. Well, see you later, Corinne.
- I'll be back soon.
913
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,739
Okay, bye.
Okay, bye.
914
00:50:52,916 --> 00:50:54,213
Have a safe...
What?
915
00:50:54,384 --> 00:50:57,046
Have a safe flight, Garrett.
Thank you. You too...
916
00:50:57,220 --> 00:50:59,085
Or not... You're not flying. Okay.
917
00:51:04,895 --> 00:51:07,955
Oh, yes. Middle seat. Awesome.
918
00:51:08,131 --> 00:51:10,725
And a layover. Be fun.
919
00:51:11,068 --> 00:51:13,468
Thank you for making this trip.
920
00:51:13,637 --> 00:51:15,400
Thank you. That was the best.
921
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:16,664
I had fun.
922
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,832
I had fun too. Despite everything.
923
00:51:20,477 --> 00:51:22,775
Please, please apologize
to her again for me.
924
00:51:22,946 --> 00:51:24,277
- I will.
- Okay.
925
00:51:24,481 --> 00:51:27,382
- God, she hates me. She does.
- Yeah.
926
00:51:31,621 --> 00:51:33,350
I love you.
927
00:51:34,424 --> 00:51:36,358
I love you too.
928
00:51:47,671 --> 00:51:49,536
I miss you already.
929
00:52:07,057 --> 00:52:09,548
Cruella de Vil
was not based on an actual person.
930
00:52:09,726 --> 00:52:12,217
I'm pretty sure she was.
A German lady.
931
00:52:12,462 --> 00:52:14,453
I think you're wrong about that.
Hey, Dan.
932
00:52:14,631 --> 00:52:15,996
Welcome home, buddy boy.
933
00:52:16,166 --> 00:52:18,464
Dude, what the fuck is this?
934
00:52:18,635 --> 00:52:21,798
- We got an open-door policy. It's cool.
- Why? Why do you have that?
935
00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:24,634
Well, we don't. He does.
I just kind of accept it.
936
00:52:24,808 --> 00:52:26,799
- How was the trip, bro?
It was awesome.
937
00:52:27,244 --> 00:52:28,973
- Do we have beers?
We do have beers.
938
00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:30,477
- Will you grab me one?
Great.
939
00:52:30,647 --> 00:52:32,308
Don't drink a beer on the toilet.
940
00:52:32,482 --> 00:52:34,006
I was worried you'd get dumped...
941
00:52:34,184 --> 00:52:36,675
...and we'd have to go to the bar.
It went well, huh?
942
00:52:36,853 --> 00:52:38,286
No. It was really good.
943
00:52:38,455 --> 00:52:40,082
All the way.
That's all I'm doing.
944
00:52:40,257 --> 00:52:42,316
- Not far enough.
That's as far as I'm going.
945
00:52:42,492 --> 00:52:44,323
- I can't reach.
- That's as far as I go.
946
00:52:44,494 --> 00:52:46,962
I am not gonna hand you a beer
while you're shitting.
947
00:52:47,130 --> 00:52:49,121
- I don't wanna get up.
- Get it afterwards.
948
00:52:49,299 --> 00:52:52,325
I'm pooping as we speak.
I don't wanna have to get up to get a...
949
00:52:52,502 --> 00:52:54,026
Take it. There. Take it.
950
00:52:54,204 --> 00:52:55,796
Thank you!
Enjoy it. All right?
951
00:52:55,972 --> 00:52:58,497
- I'm gonna go.
- It's fine. It's closed now.
952
00:52:59,776 --> 00:53:01,266
Did you tell her you loved her?
953
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,107
- I might have.
- Did you really?
954
00:53:05,282 --> 00:53:06,806
Yeah. I did.
955
00:53:06,983 --> 00:53:08,780
Are you serious?
956
00:53:08,952 --> 00:53:09,941
Wow.
957
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:11,917
- You gotta be careful.
- No.
958
00:53:12,088 --> 00:53:14,852
- You gotta be careful.
- Don't tell him he has to be careful.
959
00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:17,823
How long have you been together?
- Four months.
960
00:53:17,994 --> 00:53:19,256
That's a very long time.
961
00:53:19,429 --> 00:53:20,453
Stop.
Will you...?
962
00:53:20,630 --> 00:53:24,157
Okay. Four months, all right? So now,
in this four months, how much time...
963
00:53:24,334 --> 00:53:27,861
...do you think you've spent together,
like in the same city? Physically.
964
00:53:28,038 --> 00:53:29,972
- Uh, I don't know.
- Forty days?
965
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:32,198
- Yeah. Forty days.
- Tops. Yeah?
966
00:53:32,375 --> 00:53:33,865
Sure, that sounds about right.
967
00:53:34,044 --> 00:53:37,741
Now look, I have done the long-distance
thing, and it is hard as hell.
968
00:53:37,914 --> 00:53:40,348
And it doesn't matter how good
the relationship is.
969
00:53:40,517 --> 00:53:42,985
It literally can just rip it apart.
970
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:47,347
Look, it is just very hard to be away from
the person you love for months at a time.
971
00:53:47,524 --> 00:53:49,890
I know. I know it's not gonna be easy.
972
00:53:50,060 --> 00:53:51,152
That's all I'm saying.
973
00:53:54,130 --> 00:53:56,155
But maybe you never found
the right girl.
974
00:53:57,500 --> 00:53:59,297
That's not a bad point.
975
00:54:00,237 --> 00:54:02,831
- Jesus Christ.
- What are you doing?
976
00:54:03,006 --> 00:54:06,032
You know what?
I want some privacy now. Pardon me.
977
00:54:06,643 --> 00:54:07,974
It's Erin, leave a message.
978
00:54:10,113 --> 00:54:12,843
Well, now I miss you even more.
979
00:54:13,016 --> 00:54:14,608
Thanks a lot.
980
00:54:18,588 --> 00:54:22,649
I'm going to bed,
so call me in the morning.
981
00:54:23,393 --> 00:54:25,384
Okay, good night.
982
00:55:10,907 --> 00:55:13,467
It's barely gonna fit.
The other ones wouldn't have fit.
983
00:55:13,643 --> 00:55:15,634
But you saw the top off
the bigger one and...
984
00:55:15,812 --> 00:55:18,212
What's the point?
Why not get one that's gonna fit?
985
00:55:18,381 --> 00:55:21,282
This one looks little.
People are gonna think we're gay.
986
00:55:21,451 --> 00:55:23,612
Okay, let's open our presents
at the same time.
987
00:55:23,787 --> 00:55:26,847
It's exciting and sad,
since it's the only present I got this year.
988
00:55:27,023 --> 00:55:28,047
Okay.
989
00:55:28,224 --> 00:55:30,624
You did a good wrapping job too.
I hope it's a pony.
990
00:55:31,995 --> 00:55:35,055
Oh... Centipede.
991
00:55:35,231 --> 00:55:36,255
I love it!
992
00:55:39,602 --> 00:55:41,160
That's so awesome.
993
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:43,306
I love my present.
994
00:55:43,473 --> 00:55:44,735
I love you.
995
00:55:52,549 --> 00:55:54,380
Hyah!
996
00:55:56,686 --> 00:55:58,654
Hyah!
997
00:56:01,624 --> 00:56:02,886
Hey, Corinne.
998
00:56:03,059 --> 00:56:06,187
Can you ask Maya to keep it down
for just a second?
999
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,263
Maya, statue.
1000
00:56:22,779 --> 00:56:23,973
Hello.
1001
00:56:24,147 --> 00:56:26,513
Hi, um, Hugh Edwards, please.
1002
00:56:26,883 --> 00:56:30,478
- This is he.
- Uh, hi. Uh, this is Erin Langford.
1003
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:34,454
- No.
- I was a summer intern for you.
1004
00:56:34,758 --> 00:56:35,850
No.
1005
00:56:36,025 --> 00:56:41,361
I wrote that piece that you liked
so much on Grant-A-Dream.
1006
00:56:41,531 --> 00:56:44,159
- Oh, yeah. How are you?
- I'm good.
1007
00:56:44,334 --> 00:56:45,699
Um...
1008
00:56:45,869 --> 00:56:49,168
You told me
that I should call you in January...
1009
00:56:49,339 --> 00:56:53,070
...about a possible permanent position,
so...
1010
00:56:53,243 --> 00:56:55,040
...here I am, calling you.
1011
00:56:55,211 --> 00:56:56,235
Oh, right.
1012
00:56:57,247 --> 00:57:02,310
Well, look, honestly, we just got done
laying off 100 people...
1013
00:57:02,485 --> 00:57:05,579
...so we're not gonna be hiring
any time soon.
1014
00:57:06,122 --> 00:57:07,521
Sorry.
1015
00:57:08,758 --> 00:57:11,852
Why don't you try blogging? You know?
Heh.
1016
00:57:12,662 --> 00:57:15,130
Look, uh, best of luck to you.
1017
00:57:15,598 --> 00:57:17,725
- Okay.
- Take care.
1018
00:57:17,901 --> 00:57:18,890
Thank you.
1019
00:57:24,340 --> 00:57:26,604
Fuck! Fuck.
1020
00:57:26,776 --> 00:57:28,710
I wanted that job, okay?
1021
00:57:28,878 --> 00:57:30,675
I wanted to be in New York.
1022
00:57:30,847 --> 00:57:34,044
Look at it this way, it's not like
someone else got the job over you.
1023
00:57:34,217 --> 00:57:35,775
They're just not taking anyone.
1024
00:57:35,952 --> 00:57:39,115
Yeah, I get it.
It's a bad time for newspapers, okay?
1025
00:57:39,289 --> 00:57:43,385
It's not just about the fucking job.
I wanted to be in the same city as you.
1026
00:57:43,927 --> 00:57:46,020
I know. Believe me, I know.
1027
00:57:46,196 --> 00:57:50,758
But there are other papers in New York,
right? So that's still a possibility.
1028
00:57:50,934 --> 00:57:52,094
I seriously doubt...
1029
00:57:52,268 --> 00:57:57,137
...that if a paper like The Sentinel just cut
100 jobs that anybody's hiring right now.
1030
00:57:57,307 --> 00:58:00,276
Yeah, but listen,
you don't know that until you try.
1031
00:58:00,443 --> 00:58:04,607
You're angry and you're frustrated
and I get it and I wish I could hug you.
1032
00:58:04,781 --> 00:58:05,805
I know, I know.
1033
00:58:05,982 --> 00:58:09,076
That's the whole fucking problem
is you're there and I'm here...
1034
00:58:09,252 --> 00:58:13,746
...and I'm in this fucking kitchen right now,
and it fucking stinks.
1035
00:58:13,923 --> 00:58:17,825
Relax now, and try to get some sleep and
we'll make a new plan tomorrow. I promise.
1036
00:58:17,994 --> 00:58:19,461
Um, I gotta go, okay?
1037
00:58:19,629 --> 00:58:21,290
- Bye.
- I lov...
1038
00:58:26,536 --> 00:58:30,996
- Wanna do some more of that later?
- Yeah. Please.
1039
00:58:35,011 --> 00:58:37,912
Long-distance fucking sucks.
1040
00:58:39,716 --> 00:58:42,412
Yep. Look, I told you it was rough.
1041
00:58:42,585 --> 00:58:44,348
I know. It's so rough.
1042
00:58:44,521 --> 00:58:48,082
And even worse, I'm so horny.
1043
00:58:49,425 --> 00:58:52,155
There's definitely someone here
who can help you with that.
1044
00:58:52,929 --> 00:58:55,022
- Don't tempt me.
- I'm just saying.
1045
00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:57,860
What am I gonna do for a fucking job?
1046
00:58:58,034 --> 00:59:01,401
Okay? What am I gonna do with my life?
1047
00:59:01,671 --> 00:59:03,468
I don't want to be a waitress forever.
1048
00:59:03,973 --> 00:59:05,600
No, seriously, listen to me.
1049
00:59:06,042 --> 00:59:09,170
I want to be a reporter.
I want to tell stories.
1050
00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:11,438
What, like on the newspaper?
1051
00:59:11,614 --> 00:59:14,310
See, you understand. Fuck.
1052
00:59:15,885 --> 00:59:17,182
- Thank you.
- That's okay.
1053
00:59:17,353 --> 00:59:18,877
There we go.
1054
00:59:20,990 --> 00:59:22,287
Jesus Christ.
1055
00:59:22,458 --> 00:59:25,325
Ha-ha-ha. Sorry.
- What the fuck is your problem?
1056
00:59:25,495 --> 00:59:29,488
Let me tell you, steroid-face. I'd think
you were comfortable with needles.
1057
00:59:29,666 --> 00:59:31,031
Watch yourself, sweetheart.
1058
00:59:31,200 --> 00:59:33,293
Speaking of sweethearts,
you can suck my dick.
1059
00:59:33,469 --> 00:59:35,699
- She doesn't have a dick.
- I actually do.
1060
00:59:35,872 --> 00:59:36,896
No, she doesn't.
1061
00:59:37,073 --> 00:59:39,041
And you should put your mouth
on my penis.
1062
00:59:39,208 --> 00:59:41,176
Get her out of here
before I kick your ass.
1063
00:59:41,344 --> 00:59:42,902
My friend is gonna kick your ass.
1064
00:59:43,079 --> 00:59:44,671
- Oh, is that right?
- No.
1065
00:59:44,847 --> 00:59:48,044
By the way, steroids have side effects.
1066
00:59:48,217 --> 00:59:52,347
They may include a small dick,
worshipping of Michael Bay...
1067
00:59:52,522 --> 00:59:54,547
- You out of your mind?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1068
00:59:54,724 --> 00:59:58,524
We could all sit around and watch
Transformers together, jack off to it.
1069
00:59:58,695 --> 01:00:01,687
- Bye.
- Suck my dick, bitch.
1070
01:00:01,864 --> 01:00:03,331
Seriously.
1071
01:00:03,499 --> 01:00:04,989
Suck it!
1072
01:00:05,168 --> 01:00:06,362
Stupid fuck.
1073
01:00:06,536 --> 01:00:09,198
Let's get in there! We can take him!
Come on, let's go!
1074
01:00:09,372 --> 01:00:10,964
Son of a bitch.
1075
01:00:18,881 --> 01:00:20,940
I need to get home.
1076
01:00:23,286 --> 01:00:26,221
Are you gonna be okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
1077
01:00:26,756 --> 01:00:28,348
I'm fine.
1078
01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:54,215
Hi.
1079
01:00:54,784 --> 01:00:57,810
Honey, I'm just gonna tell you right now,
Maya drew on your face.
1080
01:01:10,500 --> 01:01:11,762
Shit.
1081
01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:22,902
- Hello?
- Hello.
1082
01:01:23,580 --> 01:01:25,810
Oh, my God.
I must've left you seven messages.
1083
01:01:25,982 --> 01:01:27,973
Please, please, God, tell me you're okay.
1084
01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,918
Yeah, I'm fine. I just... Unh.
1085
01:01:31,087 --> 01:01:35,717
I was out late last night with Damon.
I got real drunk.
1086
01:01:35,992 --> 01:01:37,084
Damon? Yeah?
1087
01:01:37,260 --> 01:01:40,889
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was just listening to me vent, you know.
1088
01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:43,532
- Wow. Okay.
- What's wrong?
1089
01:01:45,335 --> 01:01:48,168
- Nothing.
- Wait. Wait a minute.
1090
01:01:48,338 --> 01:01:49,930
Nothing happened, okay?
1091
01:01:50,306 --> 01:01:53,241
- Huh.
- You have nothing to worry about.
1092
01:01:53,410 --> 01:01:55,207
Please just tell me that you trust me.
1093
01:01:55,378 --> 01:01:57,778
3Z's in the conference room already.
Get in there.
1094
01:01:57,947 --> 01:01:59,676
Yeah. I'm sorry. Okay.
1095
01:01:59,849 --> 01:02:01,282
I gotta go. Can't talk.
1096
01:02:03,019 --> 01:02:05,146
Oh, shit.
1097
01:02:11,694 --> 01:02:12,956
Langford.
1098
01:02:13,129 --> 01:02:14,426
- Yes?
- Any luck?
1099
01:02:14,597 --> 01:02:17,896
Uh, no. Thank you for asking. Um...
1100
01:02:18,301 --> 01:02:21,702
I've checked every newspaper
and magazine in New York...
1101
01:02:21,871 --> 01:02:23,600
...and all dead ends.
1102
01:02:23,773 --> 01:02:26,105
Well, the Chronicle has an opening,
miraculously...
1103
01:02:26,276 --> 01:02:29,211
...so I recommended you
and a few other students.
1104
01:02:30,513 --> 01:02:32,777
Thank you. Um...
1105
01:02:32,949 --> 01:02:35,679
I just... I sort of had my heart
set on New York.
1106
01:02:35,852 --> 01:02:40,255
Well, it's kind of brutal out there.
You're not really in a position to be picky.
1107
01:02:41,224 --> 01:02:42,851
Okay.
1108
01:02:43,326 --> 01:02:44,384
Thank you.
1109
01:02:45,662 --> 01:02:48,460
San Francisco Chronicle, may I help you?
1110
01:02:54,337 --> 01:02:56,897
San Francisco Chronicle, please hold.
1111
01:02:58,441 --> 01:03:01,638
- You can go in now.
- Thank you.
1112
01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:09,010
I'm looking for any job opportunities in
the San Francisco area, so if you know...
1113
01:03:10,153 --> 01:03:12,644
Totally, I get it.
1114
01:03:12,822 --> 01:03:14,847
Yeah. You know, I tried them, but...
1115
01:03:15,024 --> 01:03:17,322
Thank you, though. Okay, thank you.
1116
01:03:17,494 --> 01:03:19,792
Why don't you try blowing me next time?
1117
01:03:19,963 --> 01:03:21,487
Um...
1118
01:03:21,664 --> 01:03:23,188
- Okay.
- Not you.
1119
01:03:23,366 --> 01:03:25,800
Sorry, I'm dealing with some shit.
1120
01:03:25,969 --> 01:03:27,493
I'm sorry. Bad timing.
1121
01:03:27,670 --> 01:03:31,003
- It's okay. It's good to know.
- Oh. Fucking Evites.
1122
01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:34,109
It's for a month from now.
Who does that? Oh.
1123
01:03:34,277 --> 01:03:36,711
It's mine. It's for my birthday.
1124
01:03:41,284 --> 01:03:42,342
Shit.
1125
01:03:42,519 --> 01:03:45,784
Mark's coming in from Florida
and I really want him to meet everyone...
1126
01:03:45,955 --> 01:03:48,116
...so I kind of gotta plan ahead.
1127
01:03:48,491 --> 01:03:51,187
- I'm so sorry.
- No, it's okay.
1128
01:03:51,361 --> 01:03:52,555
It's fine.
1129
01:03:52,729 --> 01:03:55,254
This is not an excuse,
but I'm so tired and frustrated.
1130
01:03:55,431 --> 01:03:58,229
I haven't seen my girlfriend in a while.
I'm losing my mind.
1131
01:03:58,401 --> 01:04:00,665
I'm in a long-distance relationship too,
I get it.
1132
01:04:00,837 --> 01:04:03,499
- It fucking sucks.
- Really does.
1133
01:04:03,673 --> 01:04:05,800
Tell me you have some suggestions.
1134
01:04:06,910 --> 01:04:08,377
Phone sex.
1135
01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:10,975
And, um, lots of it.
1136
01:04:16,419 --> 01:04:17,579
What are you wearing?
1137
01:04:19,923 --> 01:04:21,015
Uh...
1138
01:04:21,190 --> 01:04:26,526
Red lace panties and a bra and a garter.
1139
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:29,062
Holy shit, you really went all out.
1140
01:04:29,666 --> 01:04:32,100
No, you fucking idiot, it's a fantasy.
1141
01:04:32,535 --> 01:04:34,833
- Oh, right.
- What are you wearing?
1142
01:04:35,004 --> 01:04:36,369
Um...
1143
01:04:36,739 --> 01:04:38,229
What do you think is sexy?
1144
01:04:38,741 --> 01:04:40,709
White boxer briefs.
1145
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,936
Really? Like Marky Mark?
1146
01:04:43,112 --> 01:04:45,910
Oh, God, especially like Marky Mark.
1147
01:04:46,082 --> 01:04:47,743
If you even say "Marky Mark"...
1148
01:04:47,951 --> 01:04:51,785
...I'm gonna fucking come right now.
- Shit. Baby, please take this seriously.
1149
01:04:51,955 --> 01:04:54,423
Please. I'm so horny I can't even think.
1150
01:04:54,591 --> 01:04:57,822
- All right, sorry.
- Okay, um...
1151
01:04:58,595 --> 01:05:03,430
Okay, so tell me about something
that you're touching or whatever.
1152
01:05:03,600 --> 01:05:05,261
I'm touching myself.
1153
01:05:05,435 --> 01:05:08,097
Yeah, okay, good. Where?
Where are you touching yourself?
1154
01:05:08,271 --> 01:05:12,071
Everywhere. Absolutely everywhere,
all over, up and down.
1155
01:05:12,241 --> 01:05:14,937
- Up and down?
- Especially in the wet parts.
1156
01:05:15,111 --> 01:05:16,544
Oh, God, yeah, that's good.
1157
01:05:16,713 --> 01:05:20,649
- I want to make good on that. Hold on.
- Erin? Erin.
1158
01:05:21,684 --> 01:05:23,379
Hello? I lost you.
1159
01:05:23,553 --> 01:05:25,714
- Did I lose you?
- Hello? Okay.
1160
01:05:25,888 --> 01:05:27,378
- Hello?
- I'm there.
1161
01:05:27,557 --> 01:05:30,390
- Okay, all right.
- Oh, God, I wanna fuck you so bad.
1162
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:32,084
I wanna fuck you so hard.
1163
01:05:33,463 --> 01:05:35,124
I wanna come all over you.
1164
01:05:35,298 --> 01:05:38,233
No, I want you to come on the towel
beside your pillow.
1165
01:05:38,401 --> 01:05:41,063
- Yeah, okay.
- I love fucking you so much.
1166
01:05:41,237 --> 01:05:43,705
You know what I fucking love doing?
I love riding you!
1167
01:05:43,873 --> 01:05:45,067
Oh, yeah.
1168
01:05:45,241 --> 01:05:47,641
- Wait, wait, wait.
- God, I love fucking riding you!
1169
01:05:47,810 --> 01:05:50,711
- But I'm on top. Baby, I'm on top.
- No, I'm on top.
1170
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,815
- I'm on top. How can you be on top?
- Because we're in your car.
1171
01:05:53,983 --> 01:05:55,075
No, we're on a plane.
1172
01:05:55,251 --> 01:05:57,446
Didn't I tell you that we're in your car?
1173
01:05:57,620 --> 01:06:01,249
You said the towel next to my pillow.
Why would there be a pillow in the car?
1174
01:06:01,424 --> 01:06:03,517
Why would there be a towel
on the plane?
1175
01:06:03,693 --> 01:06:05,854
They give out those hand towels
in first class.
1176
01:06:06,029 --> 01:06:09,362
Well, we wouldn't be in first class,
we'd be in coach.
1177
01:06:09,532 --> 01:06:11,693
- Fine, we're in coach.
- What's everybody doing?
1178
01:06:11,868 --> 01:06:13,335
Are they watching us fucking?
1179
01:06:13,503 --> 01:06:15,630
We're in a bathroom.
We'll go in the bathroom.
1180
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:18,330
I don't wanna get that blue toilet shit
all over me.
1181
01:06:18,508 --> 01:06:20,601
I'm not gonna put you in the toilet.
1182
01:06:20,777 --> 01:06:22,642
- Put the lid down...
- Gonna get arrested.
1183
01:06:23,179 --> 01:06:26,945
We're not gonna get arrested. We'll lock
the door. It's a fantasy! There's no...
1184
01:06:27,116 --> 01:06:30,779
Oh, Christ, you know what?
We'll go in the car. We'll go in the car.
1185
01:06:30,953 --> 01:06:33,649
Oh, fuck the car.
1186
01:06:34,190 --> 01:06:37,353
You know what?
I think the moment's passed.
1187
01:06:37,527 --> 01:06:38,789
This isn't really working.
1188
01:06:39,529 --> 01:06:40,894
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
1189
01:06:41,064 --> 01:06:44,033
You know, I thought "blue balls"
was just a saying...
1190
01:06:44,200 --> 01:06:46,862
...but I'm getting a lot
of veinage here.
1191
01:06:47,036 --> 01:06:49,163
I'm actually kind of concerned.
1192
01:06:49,338 --> 01:06:50,396
Oh, God.
1193
01:06:52,041 --> 01:06:53,338
That's okay.
1194
01:06:53,509 --> 01:06:57,240
I'll just tighten the vise grip
on my dick one more notch.
1195
01:06:57,780 --> 01:07:00,146
- All right. You do that.
- All right.
1196
01:07:00,316 --> 01:07:01,749
- All right.
- Bye.
1197
01:07:01,918 --> 01:07:03,476
Bye.
1198
01:07:06,222 --> 01:07:07,849
Fuck!
1199
01:07:08,024 --> 01:07:11,152
You know, Garrett, I like the airplane.
People do cars too much.
1200
01:07:11,327 --> 01:07:14,194
Dan, are you kidding?
1201
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:37,910
Hello?
1202
01:07:38,087 --> 01:07:41,545
Hello, Erin?
This is Sarah Conant at the Chronicle.
1203
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:42,884
Hello.
1204
01:07:43,059 --> 01:07:45,926
Listen, we're all very impressed over here
by your work...
1205
01:07:46,095 --> 01:07:49,861
...and I would like to offer you the position
at our Metro desk.
1206
01:07:51,534 --> 01:07:53,900
- Really?
- Yes.
1207
01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:57,870
So we'll need you to come in
on April 15th at 10 a. M...
1208
01:07:58,040 --> 01:08:00,065
...and you can meet with our editors.
1209
01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:03,144
Okay. Thank you very much.
1210
01:08:03,312 --> 01:08:05,507
You're welcome. Bye-bye.
1211
01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:47,313
I'm sorry about not picking you up,
but I just really wanted to surprise you.
1212
01:08:47,557 --> 01:08:50,355
With the romance and the candles
and whatnot.
1213
01:08:53,563 --> 01:08:55,258
Hey, Erin.
1214
01:08:55,965 --> 01:08:58,024
Hi, Dan.
1215
01:08:58,201 --> 01:08:59,600
I missed you.
1216
01:08:59,769 --> 01:09:01,293
I missed you too, Dan.
1217
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:02,937
I missed you so much.
- Dan.
1218
01:09:16,752 --> 01:09:18,117
Wait.
1219
01:09:19,222 --> 01:09:21,554
Just wait, wait, baby.
Wait a second, okay?
1220
01:09:24,994 --> 01:09:27,462
Okay. Can I be done waiting now?
1221
01:09:28,030 --> 01:09:29,964
- Listen, okay?
- What?
1222
01:09:30,132 --> 01:09:33,533
I just... I need a second.
I wanna look at your face.
1223
01:09:33,703 --> 01:09:35,967
And I've missed you.
1224
01:09:36,138 --> 01:09:38,470
Oh, my God, I've missed you too.
1225
01:09:40,810 --> 01:09:42,243
What is it? Something's wrong.
1226
01:09:42,812 --> 01:09:47,715
I am really, really getting tired of us
spending so much time apart.
1227
01:09:47,884 --> 01:09:50,853
I know. I know, but look,
we're here now, so...
1228
01:09:51,254 --> 01:09:52,619
Yeah.
1229
01:09:52,889 --> 01:09:53,913
And, um...
1230
01:09:55,358 --> 01:09:58,259
But there's a job.
1231
01:09:58,427 --> 01:10:00,588
What do you mean? What job?
1232
01:10:00,763 --> 01:10:04,790
Well, I interviewed
with the San Francisco Chronicle...
1233
01:10:04,967 --> 01:10:07,162
...and they offered me a job.
1234
01:10:07,603 --> 01:10:09,070
Wow.
1235
01:10:09,238 --> 01:10:11,103
That's great.
1236
01:10:11,274 --> 01:10:13,936
- Yeah.
- Are you gonna take it?
1237
01:10:15,278 --> 01:10:16,905
I don't know.
1238
01:10:18,581 --> 01:10:21,072
Oh. Man.
1239
01:10:23,653 --> 01:10:25,314
Wow.
1240
01:10:25,488 --> 01:10:26,819
What?
1241
01:10:27,256 --> 01:10:29,520
- Nothing.
- No, not "nothing. " What?
1242
01:10:29,692 --> 01:10:32,525
It's a little strange to me...
1243
01:10:32,695 --> 01:10:34,993
...because in one breath
you're telling me...
1244
01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:38,031
...that it's hard to be apart
and you're struggling with this.
1245
01:10:38,200 --> 01:10:43,001
And then in the next you're saying we
might be apart for a really long time.
1246
01:10:43,172 --> 01:10:45,538
No, I mean, I don't know yet, okay?
1247
01:10:45,708 --> 01:10:48,268
And my goal is to be here with you.
1248
01:10:48,444 --> 01:10:53,404
But this is such a big opportunity for me
that we need to talk about it.
1249
01:10:53,582 --> 01:10:58,019
Yeah, let's talk about this huge bomb
you just laid on me.
1250
01:10:58,187 --> 01:11:00,849
Fuck, Erin, you didn't even tell me
you interviewed.
1251
01:11:01,023 --> 01:11:03,389
I didn't mean to keep it from you.
1252
01:11:03,559 --> 01:11:06,027
Well, you did.
What do you mean, you didn't mean to?
1253
01:11:06,195 --> 01:11:09,323
It's something you either do or you don't.
You make a choice.
1254
01:11:10,099 --> 01:11:13,227
You know, amazingly,
I'm not in the mood.
1255
01:11:14,136 --> 01:11:15,626
Fuck.
1256
01:11:15,805 --> 01:11:20,037
Erin, you know what?
Let's just go out. Let's just go out.
1257
01:11:20,910 --> 01:11:24,402
I don't know, I'm feeling sexy tonight,
you know what I'm saying?
1258
01:11:24,580 --> 01:11:29,347
I got a good feeling like I might be getting
laid by one of you ladies.
1259
01:11:29,518 --> 01:11:30,815
- Not it.
Not it.
1260
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:32,610
Come on, Dan, just shoot pool.
1261
01:11:32,788 --> 01:11:35,689
All right, okay. I'm just trying
to talk about how sexy I feel.
1262
01:11:35,858 --> 01:11:37,689
I'm gonna go get another drink.
1263
01:11:46,535 --> 01:11:50,164
Well, if you need me
I'm right here
1264
01:11:50,339 --> 01:11:53,604
No matter what
I'm always near
1265
01:11:55,878 --> 01:11:57,436
Garrett.
1266
01:11:57,613 --> 01:11:59,103
- Hi.
- Hi.
1267
01:11:59,281 --> 01:12:00,475
What are you doing here?
1268
01:12:00,649 --> 01:12:02,116
Uh, Box invited me.
1269
01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:03,645
Of course.
1270
01:12:03,986 --> 01:12:06,113
- Do you wanna do a shot of J�ger?
- Yes.
1271
01:12:06,288 --> 01:12:08,518
Hey, Christopher. Two.
1272
01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:11,716
This is so weird
to see you out of the off...
1273
01:12:11,894 --> 01:12:13,691
- You look great.
- Well, thanks.
1274
01:12:13,863 --> 01:12:15,125
Ahh. Thank you.
1275
01:12:15,297 --> 01:12:20,166
Hey. Um, I was just looking for you
because I wanted to... Hello.
1276
01:12:20,336 --> 01:12:22,133
- Hi.
Um...
1277
01:12:22,304 --> 01:12:26,001
Sorry, this is Erin, my, um...
1278
01:12:27,143 --> 01:12:29,873
Girl... Girlfriend.
1279
01:12:30,046 --> 01:12:32,037
This is Brianna, who I work with.
My friend.
1280
01:12:32,214 --> 01:12:33,738
It's so nice to finally meet you.
1281
01:12:33,916 --> 01:12:37,147
Garrett is always talking about you
and I hear your name all the time.
1282
01:12:37,319 --> 01:12:39,617
It's really nice to put a face to it.
1283
01:12:39,789 --> 01:12:42,223
- It's nice to meet you too.
Um...
1284
01:12:42,758 --> 01:12:46,057
So are you planning on moving out here
any time soon?
1285
01:12:46,228 --> 01:12:47,855
Ooh.
1286
01:12:48,030 --> 01:12:50,260
- Hell of a question.
- I don't know.
1287
01:12:50,433 --> 01:12:52,196
- L...
- She knows.
1288
01:12:52,368 --> 01:12:56,134
She got big news today that pertains
to that very question. Tell her.
1289
01:12:56,305 --> 01:12:58,899
Tell her your big news.
Tell her your big news.
1290
01:12:59,075 --> 01:13:01,566
Big news that I just found out about.
1291
01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:04,910
- No?
- It was nice to meet you.
1292
01:13:05,815 --> 01:13:08,079
- Yeah.
- Um...
1293
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:13,051
I'm gonna go sleep at Brandy's
because it's obvious that you have...
1294
01:13:13,456 --> 01:13:15,890
I'm... Yeah, bye.
1295
01:13:19,028 --> 01:13:20,461
All right.
1296
01:13:24,500 --> 01:13:27,128
Here you go.
- Oh, good.
1297
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:30,633
Well...
1298
01:13:30,940 --> 01:13:32,430
...cheers.
1299
01:13:35,878 --> 01:13:38,403
- Are you okay?
- Ha, ha. I am now.
1300
01:13:38,581 --> 01:13:39,775
Ha, ha.
1301
01:13:39,949 --> 01:13:42,975
- You have a lot of jingle jangles.
- Yeah, she does.
1302
01:13:43,152 --> 01:13:44,414
- Hi.
Hi.
1303
01:13:44,587 --> 01:13:47,647
- Garrett, introductions.
- This is Dan. This is Brianna.
1304
01:13:47,823 --> 01:13:48,983
- Hi.
- Daniel.
1305
01:13:49,258 --> 01:13:51,089
- Oh.
- Daniel von...
1306
01:13:51,594 --> 01:13:52,618
...J�germeister.
1307
01:13:52,828 --> 01:13:53,988
Hello, Daniel.
1308
01:13:54,163 --> 01:13:56,859
I'm a very wealthy man.
Garrett, can you buy us some shots?
1309
01:13:57,032 --> 01:13:59,057
Ha-ha-ha.
- Come on, let's get a drink.
1310
01:14:11,213 --> 01:14:12,646
What the fuck?
1311
01:14:13,682 --> 01:14:16,412
Fuck! Fuck! I don't know,
I don't know what I was thinking!
1312
01:14:16,585 --> 01:14:18,849
I got so drunk last night.
1313
01:14:19,021 --> 01:14:22,013
I'm sorry. I drank so much.
1314
01:14:22,191 --> 01:14:24,819
Ha-ha-ha. Hey.
1315
01:14:26,128 --> 01:14:28,619
Knock, knock, in there.
How you doing, huh?
1316
01:14:28,797 --> 01:14:31,766
Hey, last night, awesome.
1317
01:14:31,934 --> 01:14:33,834
Seriously, the best sex of my life, ever.
1318
01:14:34,103 --> 01:14:36,094
You wanna go for round two?
Do it again?
1319
01:14:36,272 --> 01:14:38,604
Dan, you threw up on me!
I did throw up on you.
1320
01:14:38,774 --> 01:14:41,038
I threw up on you a little bit
and I apologized...
1321
01:14:41,210 --> 01:14:44,008
...and I thought we were past that.
I was hoping we were.
1322
01:14:44,180 --> 01:14:45,511
You cried all night.
1323
01:14:45,681 --> 01:14:48,013
Crying is a part of feeling, all right?
1324
01:14:48,184 --> 01:14:51,017
Come on. You want some breakfast?
I'll cook you up some eggs.
1325
01:14:51,187 --> 01:14:53,781
I have a boyfriend.
That's not a problem for me.
1326
01:14:53,956 --> 01:14:55,116
Hey.
1327
01:14:55,291 --> 01:14:56,815
Hey.
1328
01:14:57,693 --> 01:14:59,217
Hey.
1329
01:15:07,770 --> 01:15:11,672
I should've just told you
about the interview, about everything.
1330
01:15:11,840 --> 01:15:13,330
You know, no matter what.
1331
01:15:13,509 --> 01:15:15,101
No.
1332
01:15:15,411 --> 01:15:18,471
You know, we'll figure it out.
1333
01:15:18,647 --> 01:15:21,377
We'll just figure it out.
1334
01:15:24,186 --> 01:15:26,984
I know that you keep saying
that we're gonna figure it out...
1335
01:15:27,156 --> 01:15:29,989
...but we haven't.
1336
01:15:30,392 --> 01:15:31,916
But we will.
1337
01:15:32,094 --> 01:15:36,963
But we haven't and we need
to make a decision right away.
1338
01:15:37,366 --> 01:15:39,197
Okay, well, uh...
1339
01:15:39,602 --> 01:15:41,399
Yeah, I know. Make a decision, then.
1340
01:15:41,837 --> 01:15:43,099
Why is this all on me?
1341
01:15:43,272 --> 01:15:45,763
What are you talking about, "why you"?
Your decision.
1342
01:15:45,941 --> 01:15:48,273
So it's all about whether
I move to New York?
1343
01:15:48,444 --> 01:15:50,241
What about you moving
to San Francisco?
1344
01:15:50,412 --> 01:15:53,677
You kidding? I've been calling music labels
there for the last month...
1345
01:15:53,849 --> 01:15:55,714
...every day, diligently.
1346
01:15:55,884 --> 01:15:58,011
I called a label that turned out
to be a kid...
1347
01:15:58,187 --> 01:16:01,418
...who's collecting demos from his friends.
He didn't want to hire me.
1348
01:16:01,790 --> 01:16:05,089
There's nothing. There are no jobs.
Trust me, I called them all.
1349
01:16:05,261 --> 01:16:08,594
I love that you're fine with me
moving to New York and waiting tables...
1350
01:16:08,764 --> 01:16:12,393
...but you wouldn't even think about
serving coffee in fucking San Francisco.
1351
01:16:12,568 --> 01:16:15,196
- It's all about what's convenient for you.
- Wait.
1352
01:16:15,371 --> 01:16:16,861
And you hate your job.
1353
01:16:19,408 --> 01:16:22,104
Fine, I'll just make the decision
for both of us.
1354
01:16:22,278 --> 01:16:24,473
You can just totally leave it all on me.
1355
01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:26,211
I got it.
1356
01:16:37,893 --> 01:16:39,383
Look at me, oh, look at me
1357
01:16:39,561 --> 01:16:44,692
Is this the way I'll always be?
Oh, no, oh, no
1358
01:16:44,867 --> 01:16:47,062
Jesus, Harper.
Maybe be a little more subtle?
1359
01:16:47,236 --> 01:16:50,000
I'm checking out their packages.
They want you to look.
1360
01:16:50,172 --> 01:16:52,800
Oh, that's gross.
- It's not gross, actually. Strangely.
1361
01:16:52,975 --> 01:16:56,934
- Um, hello?
Hey, Erin. What are you doing?
1362
01:16:57,112 --> 01:16:58,909
- Hello?
- I can't hear you.
1363
01:16:59,081 --> 01:17:01,276
- Where are you?
- Huh?
1364
01:17:01,583 --> 01:17:04,108
- Where are you?
- Oh!
1365
01:17:04,286 --> 01:17:07,744
I'm at, like, this sketchy club.
It's girls' night out.
1366
01:17:07,923 --> 01:17:10,289
Oh, fun.
1367
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:11,756
I can't hear you.
1368
01:17:11,927 --> 01:17:15,090
- Go outside.
- Hold on.
1369
01:17:15,264 --> 01:17:17,960
You guys save mine.
I gotta go outside and talk to Garrett.
1370
01:17:18,133 --> 01:17:20,294
He's an asshole.
Tell him to move here already.
1371
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:22,403
Hey, Garrett.
1372
01:17:22,571 --> 01:17:24,971
- It's Harper. How you doing?
- Hey, Harper.
1373
01:17:25,140 --> 01:17:26,869
Look, Erin can't come to the phone...
1374
01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:30,239
...because she's gonna meet a guy
who lives here and respects her...
1375
01:17:30,412 --> 01:17:33,142
...and she's gonna make out with him
and have his baby.
1376
01:17:33,315 --> 01:17:34,839
What?
1377
01:17:35,017 --> 01:17:37,918
I'm sorry.
You know, I shouldn't drink tequila.
1378
01:17:38,087 --> 01:17:40,021
Yeah, I know. It's okay.
1379
01:17:40,356 --> 01:17:43,519
No, it's just... You know Harper,
she's out of her fucking mind.
1380
01:17:43,692 --> 01:17:47,150
- Why was she saying all that stuff?
- Look, don't worry about it, okay?
1381
01:17:47,329 --> 01:17:49,593
I told her about the fight, you know?
1382
01:17:49,765 --> 01:17:53,394
I had to, I'm sorry. I'm a fucking girl,
that's what we do. We talk it out.
1383
01:17:53,569 --> 01:17:55,230
- Right.
- Do you get it?
1384
01:17:55,404 --> 01:17:57,429
Sure, I've seen Moesha.
1385
01:17:57,606 --> 01:17:59,369
Cool. Okay, what's going on with you?
1386
01:17:59,541 --> 01:18:04,478
Hey, listen. I know you're on a deadline
to make a decision about this Chronicle job.
1387
01:18:04,646 --> 01:18:08,207
I know that, and you were right, by
the way. You should not be in this alone.
1388
01:18:08,384 --> 01:18:11,911
I wanna help you
and we're in this together, right?
1389
01:18:12,388 --> 01:18:16,518
But that being said,
I gotta be honest with you.
1390
01:18:16,925 --> 01:18:18,222
I want you in New York.
1391
01:18:18,394 --> 01:18:22,194
But not just you in New York, I want you
and me in New York living together.
1392
01:18:22,364 --> 01:18:24,764
I wanna get a place with you,
a place that you love.
1393
01:18:24,933 --> 01:18:26,560
A place that we can make our own...
1394
01:18:26,735 --> 01:18:29,329
...where we can put Tom Cruise
all over the walls...
1395
01:18:29,505 --> 01:18:33,942
...and get Tom Cruise bed sheets
and Tom Cruise toilet paper.
1396
01:18:34,109 --> 01:18:36,100
Or we could buy our own Centipede
machine...
1397
01:18:36,278 --> 01:18:38,542
...and drink jugs of Sunshine Harbor
all day.
1398
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:40,773
I just want a real relationship with you...
1399
01:18:40,949 --> 01:18:44,407
...because I love you
and you're my best friend.
1400
01:18:44,820 --> 01:18:49,484
And frankly, I am so tired of missing you.
1401
01:18:49,758 --> 01:18:51,749
And I know this is a lot to put on you.
1402
01:18:51,927 --> 01:18:55,829
And I'm open to whatever...
1403
01:18:56,298 --> 01:19:00,428
...but I really wanna come out and see you
and figure all of this out together.
1404
01:19:01,303 --> 01:19:03,066
I'd like that.
1405
01:19:03,572 --> 01:19:06,040
Okay. Good.
1406
01:19:06,208 --> 01:19:09,006
- Okay.
- Bye.
1407
01:19:09,178 --> 01:19:10,805
Bye.
1408
01:19:51,753 --> 01:19:55,120
Maya Papaya.
Where's Erin? Is she here?
1409
01:19:55,290 --> 01:19:57,417
She's upstairs in the shower.
1410
01:19:57,993 --> 01:20:00,484
- Baby? Hey.
Uh-huh?
1411
01:20:00,696 --> 01:20:03,494
- Hi. Hi.
- Hi.
1412
01:20:03,665 --> 01:20:05,257
- Hi.
- Hi.
1413
01:20:06,101 --> 01:20:08,626
- God, I missed you.
- I missed you too.
1414
01:20:08,804 --> 01:20:10,829
- Listen...
- What?
1415
01:20:11,006 --> 01:20:12,200
I wanna move to New York.
1416
01:20:13,475 --> 01:20:14,499
Are you serious?
1417
01:20:15,944 --> 01:20:17,241
Yes.
1418
01:20:17,646 --> 01:20:18,977
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
1419
01:20:23,652 --> 01:20:25,950
So have you told the Chronicle yet?
1420
01:20:26,488 --> 01:20:29,389
No. I'm sort of waiting till Monday.
1421
01:20:30,192 --> 01:20:31,250
Okay.
1422
01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:33,986
Phil wants to know if you guys
wanna watch The Notebook.
1423
01:20:34,162 --> 01:20:36,289
- Where you going?
Going inside.
1424
01:20:37,199 --> 01:20:39,690
Hey, Garrett.
- Hey. Do you need help?
1425
01:20:39,868 --> 01:20:41,802
- You can grab that for me.
- Okay.
1426
01:20:41,970 --> 01:20:43,961
- Start putting them on.
- Great.
1427
01:20:44,139 --> 01:20:45,663
So...
1428
01:20:45,841 --> 01:20:47,206
Must be excited, huh?
1429
01:20:47,376 --> 01:20:49,105
Yeah. Excited.
1430
01:20:49,278 --> 01:20:50,745
It's wonderful.
1431
01:20:52,147 --> 01:20:54,615
You know, Garrett,
how much I love my sister, right?
1432
01:20:54,783 --> 01:20:55,943
Of course.
1433
01:20:56,118 --> 01:20:58,678
I mean, she means everything to me.
1434
01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:01,846
And that, as you can see,
I'm very protective of her.
1435
01:21:02,024 --> 01:21:06,051
So it's been very hard for me watching her
struggle with this decision...
1436
01:21:06,228 --> 01:21:09,061
...to come with you
or to take this incredible job.
1437
01:21:09,965 --> 01:21:11,557
But, you know...
1438
01:21:11,733 --> 01:21:12,995
...she loves you.
1439
01:21:13,168 --> 01:21:16,001
And, uh, I know how much you love her.
1440
01:21:17,005 --> 01:21:20,736
But you need to know how much
she's giving up to be with you.
1441
01:21:20,909 --> 01:21:22,706
So don't break her heart.
1442
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:24,368
Okay?
1443
01:21:26,415 --> 01:21:28,280
Or I'll cut your balls off.
1444
01:21:29,051 --> 01:21:31,451
- I'm not fucking kidding.
- Okay.
1445
01:21:32,521 --> 01:21:34,318
- I'm kidding.
- Jesus Christ.
1446
01:21:34,489 --> 01:21:36,480
- I'm kidding.
- Um...
1447
01:21:36,658 --> 01:21:38,216
Thanks.
1448
01:21:43,865 --> 01:21:45,230
Um...
1449
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:46,799
- So should I...?
- Take those in.
1450
01:21:46,969 --> 01:21:48,368
- Yep. Okay.
- Thanks.
1451
01:21:52,307 --> 01:21:53,774
Fucker.
1452
01:21:56,678 --> 01:21:59,545
Yeah, I wish I had lived in New York
at some point in my life.
1453
01:21:59,715 --> 01:22:00,739
Oh, yeah?
1454
01:22:01,049 --> 01:22:04,143
I feel like I could have really
shaken up that place.
1455
01:22:07,389 --> 01:22:10,847
So, what are your plans for work?
1456
01:22:11,059 --> 01:22:14,654
Oh, I'm gonna wait tables
until I figure it out.
1457
01:22:14,830 --> 01:22:16,320
You still gonna do the writing?
1458
01:22:16,498 --> 01:22:19,160
- There are no jobs in New York, Phil.
Mm.
1459
01:22:19,334 --> 01:22:22,098
Well, I mean, you know, not right now...
1460
01:22:22,270 --> 01:22:26,764
...but I think the newspaper business
is gonna bounce back.
1461
01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:30,241
Oh, yeah. No, that is a sensible gamble.
1462
01:22:30,412 --> 01:22:31,811
I can see Corinne's convinced.
1463
01:22:33,181 --> 01:22:34,273
She's onboard.
1464
01:22:34,449 --> 01:22:37,316
Well, you can always write just to write.
1465
01:22:37,486 --> 01:22:39,249
No one can stop you from doing that.
1466
01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:43,716
I'm not gonna not do what I do.
1467
01:22:43,892 --> 01:22:46,656
I just might take a while, you know.
1468
01:22:46,828 --> 01:22:48,295
I'm not gonna give it up.
1469
01:22:48,463 --> 01:22:52,923
Well, even if you did, you'd still be there
for Garrett, which is the important thing.
1470
01:22:54,536 --> 01:22:55,833
Exactly.
1471
01:23:08,583 --> 01:23:09,914
Hey.
- Hey.
1472
01:23:10,118 --> 01:23:12,348
I was looking for you.
1473
01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:13,916
How you doing?
1474
01:23:14,122 --> 01:23:16,090
I'm okay, how are you?
1475
01:23:16,258 --> 01:23:19,284
Good. You wanna take a little walk?
1476
01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:21,128
Sure.
1477
01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:23,493
Come on.
1478
01:23:26,501 --> 01:23:28,469
What are you doing out here?
1479
01:23:28,637 --> 01:23:30,298
Nothing.
1480
01:23:39,948 --> 01:23:40,972
What's going on?
1481
01:23:42,250 --> 01:23:43,547
You have to take the job.
1482
01:23:43,719 --> 01:23:47,314
No. No, I'm not gonna give up
our relationship for a job.
1483
01:23:47,489 --> 01:23:50,185
No, no, no. Lookit, lookit.
1484
01:23:50,559 --> 01:23:52,493
You need to take the job.
1485
01:23:52,661 --> 01:23:55,653
You need to take the job.
This is not about our relationship.
1486
01:23:55,831 --> 01:24:00,063
This is about asking you to give up
everything again, and I'm not gonna do it.
1487
01:24:00,235 --> 01:24:02,169
I'm not gonna do it.
1488
01:24:02,771 --> 01:24:06,036
And if you moved to New York,
it'd be great for a little while.
1489
01:24:06,208 --> 01:24:09,109
But you'd eventually resent me,
and I can't live with that.
1490
01:24:09,678 --> 01:24:11,168
I can't. I won't.
1491
01:24:12,047 --> 01:24:13,878
What's gonna happen to us?
1492
01:24:15,951 --> 01:24:17,919
We can't see each other
every three months.
1493
01:24:18,086 --> 01:24:19,951
That's not a relationship.
1494
01:24:24,726 --> 01:24:26,523
But I love you.
1495
01:24:45,080 --> 01:24:46,570
This is...
1496
01:24:47,983 --> 01:24:51,043
- Why don't we just sit down for a minute?
- Yeah.
1497
01:25:03,265 --> 01:25:06,894
I really thought that we were something.
1498
01:25:08,470 --> 01:25:10,062
We were.
1499
01:25:11,439 --> 01:25:13,339
We were something.
1500
01:25:50,312 --> 01:25:53,713
He's here. No, I'm picking him up now.
All right, hold on one sec.
1501
01:25:53,882 --> 01:25:55,315
- How you doing?
- Hey, buddy.
1502
01:25:55,483 --> 01:25:57,212
- What do you think, home or bar?
- Bar.
1503
01:25:57,385 --> 01:25:58,477
Bar. All right.
1504
01:25:58,653 --> 01:26:00,018
Yeah, I'm really disturbed...
1505
01:26:00,188 --> 01:26:03,521
...because you would think that you would
find a baby pigeon somewhere.
1506
01:26:03,692 --> 01:26:05,489
But I don't see baby pigeons ever.
1507
01:26:05,660 --> 01:26:08,595
So, what do you want to do?
Do you just want to have this beer?
1508
01:26:08,763 --> 01:26:12,426
I mean, we can get you some harder liquor,
if you want to get really fucked up.
1509
01:26:12,601 --> 01:26:15,399
- No, this is good, buddy. Thanks, pal.
- Cool. All right.
1510
01:26:15,570 --> 01:26:18,334
Drink a little Frangelico?
No Sambuca shots? Nothing fun?
1511
01:26:18,506 --> 01:26:22,374
If you wanna dive off the deep end
into the sadness pool, we go to my place...
1512
01:26:22,544 --> 01:26:26,173
...listen to, like, the Garden State
soundtrack, watch Brian's Song.
1513
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:29,340
- That probably wouldn't be the best thing.
- Want a hug?
1514
01:26:30,085 --> 01:26:32,519
I'm okay, buddy. Thanks. This is good.
1515
01:26:32,687 --> 01:26:34,518
- I want to hug you.
It's okay.
1516
01:26:34,689 --> 01:26:38,523
You need a hug, man. Come on, man.
Come on, buddy. There you go.
1517
01:26:38,693 --> 01:26:41,059
Okay. Thanks.
1518
01:26:41,496 --> 01:26:43,396
Why are your eyes closed?
1519
01:26:44,633 --> 01:26:45,691
- Mine?
- Mm-hm.
1520
01:26:45,867 --> 01:26:47,835
- Are yours not closed?
- No.
1521
01:26:48,003 --> 01:26:49,493
Oh.
1522
01:26:50,005 --> 01:26:51,472
Are your eyes...?
1523
01:26:51,640 --> 01:26:53,540
I just close my eyes when I hug.
1524
01:26:54,142 --> 01:26:55,632
No big deal.
1525
01:27:08,990 --> 01:27:10,582
You playing?
1526
01:27:11,159 --> 01:27:13,684
- Yeah.
- You any good?
1527
01:27:14,262 --> 01:27:16,594
- I'm okay.
- Damn.
1528
01:27:17,232 --> 01:27:19,792
That's one hell of a high score.
1529
01:27:20,101 --> 01:27:23,832
Yeah. Gonna be real tough to beat.
1530
01:27:43,391 --> 01:27:45,985
Hey, Erin, congratulations
on your front-page story.
1531
01:27:46,161 --> 01:27:48,925
Thank you.
I can't believe I'm on the cover. Heh.
1532
01:27:52,534 --> 01:27:57,028
So keep an open mind. Okay, we are
really lucky to be getting in here early.
1533
01:27:57,205 --> 01:28:00,038
I got a tip from Chuck at the Crime desk.
1534
01:28:00,208 --> 01:28:01,971
And it's a sublet...
1535
01:28:02,143 --> 01:28:05,874
...and it's right in my price range,
and it's available for ten years.
1536
01:28:06,047 --> 01:28:08,675
Are you kidd...? Is this blood?
Is this blood on the wall?
1537
01:28:09,584 --> 01:28:11,313
Did someone get bludgeoned in here?
1538
01:28:11,486 --> 01:28:13,977
I'm not really sure of the details.
1539
01:28:14,155 --> 01:28:18,649
Something about a narcotics bust
or a cockfighting ring.
1540
01:28:19,361 --> 01:28:21,192
But let's be positive.
1541
01:28:21,363 --> 01:28:24,662
Yes. No, you're right. You're right.
Maybe it's just feces.
1542
01:28:24,833 --> 01:28:26,300
I think it's an up-and-comer.
1543
01:28:27,535 --> 01:28:31,835
They got a Boston Market on the corner.
They don't build those just any place.
1544
01:28:32,540 --> 01:28:34,474
It smells like a skin infection in there.
1545
01:28:34,642 --> 01:28:36,132
Smells like freedom to me.
1546
01:28:36,878 --> 01:28:40,439
The happiest people I know
are single and living alone.
1547
01:28:40,615 --> 01:28:43,379
Grab it, Erin.
Before you know it, it'll be done.
1548
01:28:43,551 --> 01:28:46,816
You'll be trapped and dead.
You gotta do it.
1549
01:28:46,988 --> 01:28:48,319
Are you kidding? It's a shit hole.
1550
01:28:49,657 --> 01:28:51,750
The reason your conversation
is having a soundtrack...
1551
01:28:51,926 --> 01:28:54,087
...is because the walls are paper-thin,
all right?
1552
01:28:54,262 --> 01:28:56,526
Erin, you're not gonna
have any privacy in here.
1553
01:28:56,865 --> 01:29:01,165
I actually like music that comes through
the walls. I find it comforting.
1554
01:29:01,336 --> 01:29:03,031
I'm gonna take this place.
1555
01:29:03,204 --> 01:29:06,105
And I so appreciate what you and Phil
have done for me...
1556
01:29:06,274 --> 01:29:08,003
...but it is time for me to move out.
1557
01:29:08,176 --> 01:29:11,304
I think you got a view
of the Transamerica building. Oh...
1558
01:29:12,213 --> 01:29:17,310
Erin, I know you love this place, but there's
a creepy man watching us hug right now.
1559
01:29:17,485 --> 01:29:19,715
Really?
- Yeah.
1560
01:29:19,888 --> 01:29:21,515
Yeah.
1561
01:29:22,590 --> 01:29:24,751
- Let's go.
- Yeah. Okay.
1562
01:29:24,926 --> 01:29:26,188
All right. You were right.
1563
01:29:26,361 --> 01:29:29,524
- Phil. Phil!
- Oh.
1564
01:29:31,299 --> 01:29:35,167
- Can we go to Boston Market?
We cannot go to Boston Market.
1565
01:29:35,336 --> 01:29:36,667
Any way you want it
1566
01:29:36,838 --> 01:29:38,396
That's the way you need it
1567
01:29:38,573 --> 01:29:40,234
Ah. I look like such an idiot.
1568
01:29:40,408 --> 01:29:41,534
Trust me. It works.
1569
01:29:41,709 --> 01:29:43,904
But I'm not into
older women. That's your thing.
1570
01:29:44,079 --> 01:29:45,944
But you asked me for my help, all right?
1571
01:29:46,114 --> 01:29:50,050
You have a problem, I have a solution.
These women are good to go.
1572
01:29:51,086 --> 01:29:53,782
Yeah, good to go to an early bird special
at Denny's.
1573
01:29:53,955 --> 01:29:56,389
You haven't been out with a lady
in what, six months.
1574
01:29:56,558 --> 01:29:58,719
So this is about getting back
on the horse.
1575
01:29:58,893 --> 01:30:00,019
Yeah. No, I know.
1576
01:30:00,195 --> 01:30:04,222
Now, sure, you're not gonna find yourself
a Kentucky Derby winner here tonight...
1577
01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:07,732
...but you might find a nice horse
to ride down the Grand Canyon on.
1578
01:30:07,902 --> 01:30:09,870
You get to the bottom
of the Grand Canyon...
1579
01:30:10,038 --> 01:30:12,131
...drop her off and
you go about your business.
1580
01:30:12,307 --> 01:30:13,604
That makes it worse.
1581
01:30:13,775 --> 01:30:16,608
Wooh! Sorry I'm running late, boys.
1582
01:30:16,778 --> 01:30:18,109
Three beers, yes?
1583
01:30:18,279 --> 01:30:20,179
Oh, no.
- What's going on?
1584
01:30:20,348 --> 01:30:22,145
- What the fuck?
- Holy shit.
1585
01:30:22,317 --> 01:30:24,979
What? You're not Charlie Chaplin fans?
This is gonna kill.
1586
01:30:25,153 --> 01:30:26,950
I love Charlie Chaplin.
1587
01:30:27,122 --> 01:30:29,556
I'm not a fan of the guy
that has the exact mustache.
1588
01:30:29,724 --> 01:30:31,123
Where are you going with this?
1589
01:30:31,292 --> 01:30:33,192
At no point during shaving
did you think:
1590
01:30:33,361 --> 01:30:36,888
- "Cool it. I'm gonna look like Hitler"?
- Hitler? Oh, yeah, thought of that.
1591
01:30:37,065 --> 01:30:38,157
It's the plastered hair.
1592
01:30:38,333 --> 01:30:40,324
I knew you guys
were gonna give me shit.
1593
01:30:40,502 --> 01:30:43,471
I'm shaving it, and then... I get that
way too far on this side.
1594
01:30:43,638 --> 01:30:45,606
- Too far.
- I went too far down this side.
1595
01:30:45,773 --> 01:30:48,469
I started going back and forth,
back and forth. I stop.
1596
01:30:48,643 --> 01:30:51,669
If I stop now, and you can
still pull off Chaplin. You know what?
1597
01:30:51,846 --> 01:30:54,542
If you don't like it,
I'll send you to the gas chamber.
1598
01:30:54,716 --> 01:30:57,082
- You are doing Hitler.
- I'll do whoever I want.
1599
01:30:57,252 --> 01:30:58,514
Pick a character and go...
1600
01:30:58,686 --> 01:31:01,018
- Hey, game faces. Hello.
- Hi.
1601
01:31:01,189 --> 01:31:02,520
- How you doing?
- Good.
1602
01:31:02,690 --> 01:31:04,954
You guys didn't go to school with us.
1603
01:31:05,126 --> 01:31:06,593
We did not. No.
1604
01:31:06,761 --> 01:31:08,991
You have a very foxy eye for detail.
1605
01:31:09,397 --> 01:31:12,332
- Wanna dance?
- I do.
1606
01:31:13,401 --> 01:31:15,266
- Time machine.
- Yeah.
1607
01:31:15,436 --> 01:31:17,301
Maybe my friend Garrett here
can join us?
1608
01:31:17,472 --> 01:31:20,236
I'm good. No. I'm good.
I'm gonna sit this one out.
1609
01:31:20,408 --> 01:31:22,376
- Bye, gentlemen. Shall we?
Let's do it.
1610
01:31:22,744 --> 01:31:26,510
Hold on, hold on
1611
01:31:26,681 --> 01:31:28,308
Oh, man, this is ridiculous.
1612
01:31:28,483 --> 01:31:30,212
I know it's ridiculous.
1613
01:31:30,385 --> 01:31:33,650
- You know you don't have to be here.
- You think I'm gonna miss this?
1614
01:31:33,821 --> 01:31:36,654
No. Well, yeah. No, not this though.
I mean...
1615
01:31:38,026 --> 01:31:42,360
Look, Box and I, this is what we do.
We do stupid shit, and we'll be fine.
1616
01:31:42,530 --> 01:31:45,158
So if you're worried about us,
don't worry about us, man.
1617
01:31:45,333 --> 01:31:47,164
But you, you don't need to be here.
1618
01:31:47,735 --> 01:31:49,669
Yeah. I know.
1619
01:31:50,004 --> 01:31:52,370
Okay, then.
As long as you're thinking about it.
1620
01:31:52,540 --> 01:31:54,235
- Okay.
- I'm taking off.
1621
01:31:54,409 --> 01:31:56,570
These dudes don't look
like Chaplin fans to me.
1622
01:31:56,744 --> 01:31:59,474
Oh, boy.
They look like angry Jews.
1623
01:32:01,783 --> 01:32:03,080
Sorry.
1624
01:32:24,172 --> 01:32:26,504
Hello.
- Hello.
1625
01:32:26,674 --> 01:32:28,039
How was work?
1626
01:32:28,209 --> 01:32:31,576
- You know? Uh, it was awesome.
- Good.
1627
01:32:31,746 --> 01:32:33,737
Oh, hey. You got a package today.
1628
01:32:33,915 --> 01:32:36,042
- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hm.
1629
01:32:48,062 --> 01:32:50,553
It's from Garrett.
1630
01:32:54,902 --> 01:32:58,235
Oh. What does it say?
1631
01:32:58,773 --> 01:33:02,539
"They're gonna be in San Francisco.
Thought you might wanna go. "
1632
01:33:02,944 --> 01:33:04,172
Who is?
1633
01:33:06,748 --> 01:33:08,773
The Boxer Rebellion.
1634
01:33:09,384 --> 01:33:12,080
That was one of the first bands
that we saw together.
1635
01:33:14,022 --> 01:33:15,046
Are you gonna go?
1636
01:33:17,525 --> 01:33:19,117
That depends.
1637
01:33:19,861 --> 01:33:21,829
On whether or not you'll be my date.
1638
01:33:22,664 --> 01:33:24,131
I can get drunk there, right?
1639
01:33:24,666 --> 01:33:28,466
There's sort of
an unidentifiable smell in here...
1640
01:33:28,636 --> 01:33:31,628
...that I can't quite just put my finger on.
1641
01:33:31,806 --> 01:33:33,740
I don't know, but just push your way in.
1642
01:33:33,908 --> 01:33:36,604
It's urine. It's urine. I smell urine.
1643
01:33:36,778 --> 01:33:39,246
Oh, good. That means it's a good club.
1644
01:33:39,414 --> 01:33:42,713
And puke. Oh, yeah.
There's a hint of puke. And urine.
1645
01:33:42,884 --> 01:33:45,011
Well, that's even better.
- I know, then. Good.
1646
01:34:00,401 --> 01:34:02,028
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
1647
01:34:03,871 --> 01:34:05,304
Hi.
1648
01:34:06,874 --> 01:34:07,932
Hi, Corinne.
1649
01:34:08,109 --> 01:34:11,306
- Hey, Garrett. I like your haircut.
- Thanks. Did something different.
1650
01:34:11,479 --> 01:34:14,141
And your dick's in your pants,
so that's good.
1651
01:34:15,183 --> 01:34:19,119
I'm gonna go check out the...
1652
01:34:19,287 --> 01:34:22,154
Oh, fuck it. I'm just not gonna be here.
Okay? Okay?
1653
01:34:22,323 --> 01:34:23,585
You're gonna just...?
1654
01:34:29,063 --> 01:34:30,690
- Hi.
- Hi.
1655
01:34:32,767 --> 01:34:34,132
What are you doing here?
1656
01:34:34,302 --> 01:34:35,792
I manage the band.
1657
01:34:35,970 --> 01:34:38,803
- You do?
- Yes. Ha, ha. Crazy, I know.
1658
01:34:38,973 --> 01:34:40,964
- Really?
- Yeah.
1659
01:34:41,376 --> 01:34:45,176
That's... That's great.
1660
01:34:45,680 --> 01:34:47,511
- Really?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1661
01:34:47,682 --> 01:34:51,277
- Wow.
- No, I left the label.
1662
01:34:51,452 --> 01:34:54,888
You were right, as it turns out.
I hated the hell out of my job.
1663
01:34:55,523 --> 01:34:58,321
Well, I hate to say "I told you so. "
1664
01:34:58,493 --> 01:35:00,859
No, you don't.
You love saying "I told you so. "
1665
01:35:01,028 --> 01:35:02,325
- You love it.
- You're right.
1666
01:35:02,497 --> 01:35:03,964
Who are you kidding?
1667
01:35:06,734 --> 01:35:09,225
So are you living in New York?
1668
01:35:10,705 --> 01:35:12,673
I actually just moved to Los Angeles.
1669
01:35:12,840 --> 01:35:14,102
- Really?
- Yeah.
1670
01:35:14,275 --> 01:35:16,539
The band actually lives in L.A.
1671
01:35:16,711 --> 01:35:21,011
And, I don't know if you know this,
I know you're not a huge geography fan...
1672
01:35:21,182 --> 01:35:24,242
...but L.A. Is not only in the same
time zone as San Francisco...
1673
01:35:24,419 --> 01:35:27,286
...it's in the same state. So...
1674
01:35:27,455 --> 01:35:29,855
Yeah. It's very close.
1675
01:35:30,024 --> 01:35:32,515
Yeah. It's a one-hour flight.
1676
01:35:33,060 --> 01:35:34,994
A six-hour drive.
1677
01:35:35,797 --> 01:35:39,255
- Eighteen-hour hot-air balloon ride.
- Ha-ha-ha.
1678
01:35:39,434 --> 01:35:41,026
If you were to go that way.
1679
01:35:44,572 --> 01:35:46,506
Can I ask you a question?
1680
01:35:46,941 --> 01:35:48,499
Yeah.
1681
01:35:50,144 --> 01:35:52,635
I don't know what your situation is...
1682
01:35:55,450 --> 01:35:57,042
I miss you.
1683
01:36:00,455 --> 01:36:02,719
That's not a question.
1684
01:36:03,925 --> 01:36:05,620
Yeah, it is.
1685
01:36:11,032 --> 01:36:15,799
I'm always here
1686
01:36:17,305 --> 01:36:22,743
Waiting for you
All alone
1687
01:36:25,279 --> 01:36:29,648
Eyes of the night
1688
01:36:31,452 --> 01:36:36,515
Just to see
See you home
1689
01:36:38,826 --> 01:36:45,789
There's two of us
In it
1690
01:36:45,967 --> 01:36:53,100
They follow
All night
1691
01:36:54,375 --> 01:36:57,003
I can't believe she left
without us. That's so weird.
1692
01:36:57,178 --> 01:37:00,011
It's a school night
and she probably didn't like the band.
1693
01:37:00,181 --> 01:37:02,672
She didn't like...
She didn't like me. She hates me.
1694
01:37:02,850 --> 01:37:04,681
How am I gonna win that crazy one over?
1695
01:37:04,852 --> 01:37:07,252
Now that we're spending more time
with each other...
1696
01:37:07,421 --> 01:37:11,221
...which I couldn't be happier about,
maybe you should get your own apartment.
1697
01:37:11,392 --> 01:37:14,293
Just so we don't have to sneak around
her house, you know, like teenagers.
1698
01:37:14,462 --> 01:37:18,159
Shh. But for tonight,
let's just go upstairs, like adults.
1699
01:37:18,332 --> 01:37:20,664
That's very mature.
- Okay.
1700
01:37:22,136 --> 01:37:23,603
Shh, shh, shh.
1701
01:37:23,771 --> 01:37:25,102
Wait, wait, wait.
1702
01:37:32,179 --> 01:37:33,203
C... Uh...
1703
01:37:33,381 --> 01:37:35,849
Are you guys...? Are you dry humping?
1704
01:37:36,584 --> 01:37:38,916
- No.
- Sorry.
1705
01:37:39,086 --> 01:37:41,680
- But I didn't...
- I don't care if you didn't finish. Get off.
1706
01:37:41,856 --> 01:37:43,687
Mommy? Are you okay?
1707
01:37:43,858 --> 01:37:45,257
Maya, statue!

Going The Distance 2010

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