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AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday

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We have to keep going, Sunny.
I'm tired, too,

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but we have to find Violet
before it's too late.

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Do you think it's true
one of our parents survived the fire?

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It is difficult to describe
how Klaus and Sunny felt,

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hiding in the mail delivery vents
at Heimlich Hospital.

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So, allow me to explain it
by describing something

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that happened
to my good friend, Mr. Sirin.

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Mr. Sirin was a lepidopterist,
a word which usually means

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a person who studies butterflies.

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In Mr. Sirin's case, it also meant

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one who is being pursued
by government officials.

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Open up.

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We're here for your butterflies.

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Quickly. Quickly.

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As the secret police closed in,

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Mr. Sirin opened his mouth
as wide as he could

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and swallowed every last butterfly,
alive and whole.

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Mr. Sirin was captured,

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but his butterflies were safe
from government questioning.

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You see? There's your problem right there.

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It is in his memory that,

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when a situation is
particularly fraught or tense,

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a person is said to have
butterflies in their stomach.

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Having butterflies in one's stomach
is not a pleasant feeling,

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but it is the best way to describe
how Klaus and Sunny felt,

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hiding in the vents at a hostile hospital,
watching Count Olaf and Esmé Squalor

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drag their sister toward perils unknown.

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My diagnosis is
you've been captured.

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In my medical opinion, it all has to go.

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You're not real doctors.
You'll never get away with this.

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You're right about one of those things.

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You're right. We've got to rescue Violet
and get out of this hostile hospital.

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What the devil?

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My files, my films,
my paperwork.

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I file this under "D"
for both disaster and deceit.

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Who would do such a terrible thing?

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Attention.
This is Dr. Mattathias Medical School,

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Head of Human Resources
and Hospital Administration.

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I have nothing to do with party planning.

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Please be aware that
two of the three Baudelaire murderers

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have been spotted in the hospital.

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If you see any children whom you recognize
from the Daily Punctilio,

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please capture them and give them
to the most stylish nurse you can find.

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Thank you.

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I'm in the mood
for fish and chips.

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- The intercom.
- What?

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- The intercom.
- "Inter" what? Oh. Sorry.

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Hello.

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Well, well, well, well, well, well, well,
well, well, well, well.

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You really do tie a beautiful bow, Esmé.
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I just thought she needed
a little sprucing up.

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I'm sorry, I can't hear you
with the tape over your mouth.

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I said...

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So melodramatic.

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You're not really
Dr. Medical School, are you?

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You're that awful Count Olaf.

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Ding, ding, ding.

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What a fool I've been.
I should have known better

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than to circumvent bureaucracy
for a handsome stranger.

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Easy, sister.

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I'm not done with you, Babs.

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You helped me capture Violet,
and now you're going to help me hide her.

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Ha! You couldn't hide a binder clip here.
The paperwork keeps track of everything
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from surgical knives to a cookie

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dropped behind the X-ray machine.

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Anybody in this hospital would stick out
like a sore thumb

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if their name wasn't
on today's patient list,

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which is a complete list of
all the patients here.

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Then I'll just take your clipboard.

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What? No.

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Anything but my clipboard.

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Take my eyeballs! Take my feet!
I need my clip...

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What now, boss?

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It's elementary.
If we devise a fake name for Violet,

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we can hide her amongst the patients,

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so her siblings
won't be able to find her...

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until we want them to, that is.

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The hunter has become the hunted.

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That makes no sense.

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You catch more flies with honey.

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Catch more... Who's the fly...
I thought that was vinegar.

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You're the honey and those orphans are...

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Sometimes I drink a whole glass of vinegar
if no one's watching.

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Sometimes I wonder about you two.

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Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

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Get up, lazy bones.
We're distributing today's patient list.

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- And they're totally real names, too.
- Totally.

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They sure look real to me.
Come on, everybody. Vocal warm-ups.

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Violet must be somewhere
in this hospital.

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Otherwise, Olaf and Esmé would have
left by now. We have to find her.

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I don't know.

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Olaf is watching us
through the security cameras

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and the rest might recognize us
as "murderers" from the Daily Punctilio.

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Hey!

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- Could we have some balloons?
- Of course, brother.

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Take two and start singing.

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The boss said to keep the girl on ice
until we're ready for her.

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- That sounds cold.
- It's an expression.

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- Oh.
- She's just in one of these rooms.

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We need a way to search all the rooms.

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Time to visit all these rooms.

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Could you call a nurse?

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I was supposed to take painkillers,
but nobody came by to give them to me.

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Sorry, we don't have time for that.

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We have to visit each and every room
in this hospital

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so we have to move quickly.

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Water.

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A cheerful attitude is much more
effective at fighting illness

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than painkillers or water.
So, cheer up and enjoy your balloon.

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Let's see. Next on our list

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is Bernard Roovoo
in room 105 of the Plague Ward.

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Come on, brothers and sisters.

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Water, please.

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Water.

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Comfy?

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Klaus and Sunny will find me.
118
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Oh, I'm counting on it.
If I know your siblings,

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your brainy brother will follow the clues
right into my clutches.

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We've outsmarted you every time.
We'll do it again.

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I don't think you will outsmart me,

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not this time.

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Have you ever hunted, Violet?

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Of course not.

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Well, if you had, you'd be familiar
with a particular experience.

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There's a particular moment,
at the end of a long hunt,

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when you have the animal cornered.

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And the animal looks into your eyes,
deep into them,

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to see if there's any mercy in there.

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And when it sees that there is not...

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it gives up.

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It gives its life to you.

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Well, I have you cornered, Violet,
and I have no mercy.

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Soon enough, your siblings
will fall into my trap.

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And when they do, I won't be satisfied
with just your fortune.

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This time, I will obliterate you
and the entire Baudelaire line

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in the cruelest way imaginable.

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Won't that be fun?

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Darling, Hooky had a question about

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which bone saw is scariest,
and I'm just not sure.

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Be right there, my pet.

142
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Well, a fake doctor's work is never done.

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Oh, I wouldn't bother screaming for help.

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In a hospital,
screams are perfectly normal.

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Am I right?

146
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Let's do the verse about leprosy.

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You're right. I don't think
this is a good use of our time.

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We haven't seen a sign of Violet.

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This is a break room for doctors.

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I wish we were doctors.

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Then we could search this hospital.

152
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Good thinking.
If Olaf can fool people using disguises,

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then maybe we can, too.

154
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I feel like I have butterflies
in my stomach,

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not just a toddler strapped to it.

156
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How are you doing there?

157
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Let's hope this works.

158
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That's better.

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I'm gonna get us both out of here,

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but you have to be quiet and do as I say.

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- Do you understand?
- Mm-hmm.

162
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I'm gonna untie you now,

163
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but you have to stay still, okay?

164
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Why are you laughing?

165
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Sorry. Sometimes I laugh
when I'm very, very frightened.

166
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I hate hospitals. Always have.
Scariest places on Earth.

167
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If you hate hospitals, why work in one?

168
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I wanted to work for the post office,
but everyone said that was a pipe dream.

169
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I have to find my siblings
and get away from Olaf.

170
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What's the fastest way
out of this hospital?

171
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There is no fast way.
172
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First, file the release papers
in quadruplicate,

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and then those have to be authorized.

174
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Is there a way out
of here that doesn't involve paperwork?

175
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You can die.

176
00:12:07,208 --> 00:12:09,750
Or you can take a left at the next hall.
The exit's that way.

177
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There's someone coming.

178
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If we disguise ourselves,
we can roam around freely.

179
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What Klaus would do.

180
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:25,500
Are you suggesting we pretend
to have medical degrees

181
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that we don't actually have?

182
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You have to be quiet.

183
00:12:28,958 --> 00:12:30,583
Sorry, I'm just so nervous.

184
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:31,708
You're calling attention.

185
00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:34,208
Let me sleep. I'm on a break.

186
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I've never faked anything in my life!

187
00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:40,041
The very thought is preposterous.
It's unthinkable. It's exhilarating.

188
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Yes! Let's do it!

189
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Put on this coat. Just be quiet.

190
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By gum, I want to live!

191
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Well, that's a shame.

192
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:51,041
We don't always get what we want.

193
00:12:57,958 --> 00:13:01,875
- Still think you can outsmart me?
- What have you done with Babs?

194
00:13:01,958 --> 00:13:04,833
You were such a bad influence on her,
we had to separate you two.

195
00:13:04,916 --> 00:13:09,500
But that's all right. We will fix
your delinquent behavior once and for all.

196
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Surgically.

197
00:13:11,125 --> 00:13:13,125
We found the anesthesia machine.

198
00:13:13,208 --> 00:13:15,125
This makes me see colored bubbles.
199
00:13:16,041 --> 00:13:17,541
Now, shh.

200
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:18,958
Just relax...

201
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,541
And count backward from ten.

202
00:13:24,375 --> 00:13:25,583
What are you gonna do to me?

203
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:27,250
Shh.

204
00:13:30,208 --> 00:13:31,708
Night-night.

205
00:13:46,416 --> 00:13:49,541
You're right. The volunteers have
a list of all the patients.

206
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:52,375
Maybe we can get them
to give us a look at it.

207
00:13:52,458 --> 00:13:54,041
Uh, you!

208
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,416
You, you, you.

209
00:13:56,500 --> 00:13:57,833
Me, sir?

210
00:13:57,916 --> 00:13:59,083
Yes, you.

211
00:13:59,166 --> 00:14:03,125
I have misplaced my patient list.
I was wondering if I could have yours.

212
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,833
Patient list?
But patient lists are precious.
213
00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:09,458
We get them every morning from...
Oh, hello, other doctor.

214
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,333
Yes?

215
00:14:11,416 --> 00:14:13,625
Perhaps you can help this first doctor
I was talking to.

216
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:17,166
How may I be of service?

217
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,625
He lost his patient list,
so he can't find his patients.

218
00:14:19,708 --> 00:14:20,916
Is that so?

219
00:14:22,291 --> 00:14:26,583
You look very familiar.
What is your name, Doctor?

220
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,333
My name is Dr. Faustus.

221
00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:31,041
Dr. Faustus?

222
00:14:31,625 --> 00:14:34,666
- MD.
- You look terribly young to be a doctor.

223
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:38,666
Where did you attend medical school,
Dr. Faustus?

224
00:14:39,583 --> 00:14:41,125
Uh, Oxford, obviously.

225
00:14:41,208 --> 00:14:45,083
Huh. "Oxford." Sounds made-up.
226
00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,791
It is not.

227
00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:50,000
Dr. Medical School,
may I have a peek at your list?

228
00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:54,125
Why don't you follow me
back to my otherwise deserted office,

229
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:55,583
and I'll make you a copy.

230
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,208
Looks like you could use the exercise.

231
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,625
There's no time to lose.

232
00:15:01,708 --> 00:15:03,250
I have a patient in need of medicine.

233
00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:08,166
And you wouldn't want
all these witnesses to know

234
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:13,000
you let a patient die on your watch now,
would you, Dr. Medical School?

235
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:16,791
You both seem pretty legit, to be honest.
You're both wearing medical coats.

236
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:18,291
Just a quick glance.

237
00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:24,583
There, I saved a life today.

238
00:15:24,666 --> 00:15:26,166
Please hold the applause.

239
00:15:27,583 --> 00:15:29,208
Just doing my job.

240
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,541
You could applaud a bit.

241
00:15:32,500 --> 00:15:35,666
The camaraderie at this hospital
is really inspiring.

242
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:44,750
Now we'll never get
our hands on that list.

243
00:15:47,208 --> 00:15:48,625
Sunny, you are amazing.

244
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:10,291
She's not here. How can we find her
if her name's not on the list?

245
00:16:12,291 --> 00:16:16,291
Good thinking. Count Olaf often uses
a ridiculous fake name.

246
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:20,250
Wait, that makes me think of something
Duncan wrote in his notes.

247
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:39,916
Duncan wrote "Ana Gram."

248
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
I thought that was a name,
but it's a clue.

249
00:16:42,083 --> 00:16:43,458
An anagram is a word created

250
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:45,375
by rearranging letters
in a different word,

251
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,333
like that playwright Al Funcoot.

252
00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:51,083
If you rearrange the letters, you get...

253
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,500
"Yikes" is right.

254
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,666
Olaf uses anagrams
when he wants to hide something,

255
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,375
and, right now, he's hiding our sister.

256
00:16:59,458 --> 00:17:01,791
So, if we find the anagram,
we find Violet.

257
00:17:14,708 --> 00:17:17,541
Excuse me, but I was visiting
that bird town on business

258
00:17:17,625 --> 00:17:19,083
when I came down with light-headedness.

259
00:17:19,166 --> 00:17:21,041
I'm afraid
I might have picked up swine flu.

260
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:23,583
If you'd like to see a doctor,
fill out the paperwork.

261
00:17:23,666 --> 00:17:25,500
An institution after my own heart.

262
00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:29,541
This hospital once had the finest records
this side of the Mortmain Mountains.

263
00:17:29,625 --> 00:17:32,500
But that's gone now.
My life's work has been destroyed.

264
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:35,041
That paperwork can never be re-filed.

265
00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:36,666
You could use a secretary.

266
00:17:36,750 --> 00:17:39,916
In my experience,
people who say they want to help you

267
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,625
let you down the most.

268
00:17:41,708 --> 00:17:42,541
I know what you mean.

269
00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,958
My secretary disappeared
into the Hinterlands somewhere.

270
00:17:46,250 --> 00:17:49,250
Shall I just wait here?

271
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,625
I just love hospitals.

272
00:17:55,375 --> 00:17:56,583
I used to.

273
00:17:58,125 --> 00:18:00,416
This is taking too long.
There's too many names.

274
00:18:03,083 --> 00:18:05,541
You're right, we can eliminate
any name without a "v."

275
00:18:05,625 --> 00:18:08,375
We know Violet Baudelaire has 16 letters.

276
00:18:08,458 --> 00:18:10,500
We must find her
before Olaf does something horrible.

277
00:18:10,583 --> 00:18:12,083
Scalpel?

278
00:18:12,166 --> 00:18:13,041
Check.
279
00:18:13,125 --> 00:18:14,250
Bone saw?

280
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,750
Check.

281
00:18:15,833 --> 00:18:17,583
Skull drill?

282
00:18:17,666 --> 00:18:19,125
Check.

283
00:18:20,875 --> 00:18:21,833
It's time.

284
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:28,666
Let's lose our first patient.

285
00:18:29,375 --> 00:18:30,708
Well, look at this name.

286
00:18:30,791 --> 00:18:33,583
Laura V. Bleediotie.
Rearrange the letters, and you get...

287
00:18:37,125 --> 00:18:38,833
It says she's in room 922.

288
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:45,583
It smells like disinfectant.

289
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,375
I know. I'm hungry, too.

290
00:18:55,166 --> 00:18:56,541
She's not here, Sunny.

291
00:18:56,625 --> 00:18:57,708
Who's not here...

292
00:18:59,041 --> 00:19:00,208
Doctor?

293
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:05,250
Do you know what happened
to the patient that was in this room?

294
00:19:05,333 --> 00:19:08,458
Do you mean the ugly little girl
with the big mouth?

295
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:10,291
She's being prepped for surgery.

296
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:13,666
- Surgery?
- Yes, so you're just in time.

297
00:19:13,750 --> 00:19:15,875
Paging Dr. Faustus.

298
00:19:15,958 --> 00:19:19,583
You are desperately needed
in the operating theater.

299
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:22,708
In precisely five minutes, we will perform

300
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:26,750
the world's first cranioectomy
on a teenage girl.

301
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:31,125
Well, "cranio" means head,
and "ectomy" means to remove something.

302
00:19:33,125 --> 00:19:37,333
You know very big words.
You must be a very good doctor.

303
00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:39,583
Let's find out how good.

304
00:19:39,666 --> 00:19:42,166
We all hope
this very dangerous operation

305
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:43,500
is a complete success.

306
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,291
But, as always, in the field of medicine,

307
00:19:46,875 --> 00:19:49,416
stuff happens.

308
00:19:51,541 --> 00:19:53,750
If you're wondering about
my enormous, terrifying knife,

309
00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:57,291
the answer is, yes, it's incredibly sharp.

310
00:19:57,375 --> 00:20:00,833
One swipe and...

311
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,208
Impressive.

312
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:20,166
Butterflies in your stomach, Dr. Faustus?

313
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:23,583
Don't worry. This is going to be fun.

314
00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:33,250
- Program?
- Program.

315
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:34,791
Program.

316
00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:37,125
I can't believe
I got tickets to this operation.

317
00:20:37,208 --> 00:20:40,041
It sold out mere moments
after going on sale.

318
00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:42,458
- I hope it's a musical.
- I brought my opera glasses.

319
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,916
They were an anniversary gift
from my wife.

320
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
You ought to have someone take a look
at that cough, buddy.

321
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:50,416
Cough?

322
00:20:50,500 --> 00:20:52,916
The show is about to begin.

323
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,833
Please find your places
and silence all mechanical devices.

324
00:21:07,916 --> 00:21:12,375
Ah, Dr. Faustus,
I've been eagerly awaiting you.

325
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:16,166
And so has
our little sleeping beauty here.

326
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:21,500
Well, hurry along, Dr. Faustus.
The anesthesia won't last forever.

327
00:21:21,583 --> 00:21:25,125
Don't forget this. You'll need it.

328
00:21:27,458 --> 00:21:30,208
I do hope she doesn't wake up
in the middle of the operation.

329
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:37,916
Doctors, nurses,
Volunteers Fighting Disease,

330
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,166
gore fans, regular people,

331
00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:44,625
welcome to the operating theater
of Heimlich Hospital.

332
00:21:48,750 --> 00:21:54,166
I am Dr. Mattathias Medical School,
and these are my associates.

333
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:56,375
Dr. Flacutono.

334
00:21:56,458 --> 00:21:57,291
Dr. Tocuna.

335
00:21:57,375 --> 00:21:58,833
- Nurse Flo.
- Nurse Glo.

336
00:21:58,916 --> 00:21:59,875
Nurse Lucafont.

337
00:21:59,958 --> 00:22:05,208
And I am Nurse Cassandra Ursula
Terrific Elliandra...

338
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:08,875
And, of course, the man
who will be performing the operation,

339
00:22:08,958 --> 00:22:12,500
the marvelous Dr. Faustus.

340
00:22:17,416 --> 00:22:18,916
As I'm sure you've heard,

341
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:23,750
a cranioectomy is a procedure
in which the patient's head is removed.

342
00:22:24,333 --> 00:22:27,708
Scientists have discovered
that many health problems

343
00:22:27,791 --> 00:22:29,458
are rooted in the brainial area.

344
00:22:30,333 --> 00:22:35,250
So, the best thing to do for the patient
is remove the head altogether.

345
00:22:37,875 --> 00:22:42,291
Now, a cranioectomy is as dangerous
as it is necessary.

346
00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:48,208
There is a chance that the patient
may tragically die during the operation,

347
00:22:48,791 --> 00:22:51,750
leaving their enormous fortune
up for grabs.

348
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:58,583
But sometimes we make sacrifices
in the name of advancement.

349
00:23:04,291 --> 00:23:06,750
Isn't that so, Dr. Faustus?

350
00:23:10,916 --> 00:23:12,375
What do we do?

351
00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:20,208
When you read books,
you are going to learn information

352
00:23:20,291 --> 00:23:22,541
that might not be useful for a long time.

353
00:23:22,625 --> 00:23:24,750
Then suddenly,
like a strike of lightning...

354
00:23:25,791 --> 00:23:28,208
Or a grand piano
falling out of a window,

355
00:23:28,291 --> 00:23:31,208
an opportunity arises
to use the information

356
00:23:31,291 --> 00:23:34,416
gleaned from even
the most unlikely piece of reading.

357
00:23:40,666 --> 00:23:42,625
Before I make
the first incision,

358
00:23:42,708 --> 00:23:45,166
I think
I should talk a little bit

359
00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:47,583
about the equipment I'm using.

360
00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:50,166
In the case of Klaus,
it was an obscure book

361
00:23:50,250 --> 00:23:54,583
from the Baudelaire library,
The Complete and Total History of Knives.

362
00:23:57,458 --> 00:23:58,541
This is a knife.

363
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:03,666
We know it's a knife.
Now let's see you use it.

364
00:24:03,750 --> 00:24:05,708
Any real doctor
would never perform a procedure

365
00:24:05,791 --> 00:24:07,625
without explaining everything first.

366
00:24:07,708 --> 00:24:09,333
And we are both real doctors, aren't we?

367
00:24:13,583 --> 00:24:16,125
Keep it short, Doctor.

368
00:24:17,333 --> 00:24:20,000
The knife is the oldest surgical tool
in the world.

369
00:24:20,458 --> 00:24:24,958
Early knives have been found
in Mayan tombs, Egyptian temples.

370
00:24:27,208 --> 00:24:31,833
There are many different types of knife,
which I'm going to list for you now.

371
00:24:32,833 --> 00:24:34,708
This is very interesting.

372
00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:38,250
There's the pen knife, the pocket knife,
the butter knife...

373
00:24:38,333 --> 00:24:40,708
What a lengthy explanation,

374
00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:43,916
but it's time for the main event.

375
00:24:45,125 --> 00:24:49,083
Yes, all these lovely people
will understand the process better

376
00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:51,416
once the head has been removed.

377
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:52,666
Do it.

378
00:24:52,750 --> 00:24:54,708
Yeah, cut off her head.

379
00:24:56,583 --> 00:24:58,166
Do it.

380
00:24:58,250 --> 00:24:59,583
Do it.

381
00:24:59,666 --> 00:25:03,583
Do it! Do it! Do it!

382
00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:04,916
Do it!

383
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:06,208
Do it!

384
00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:08,833
Do it! Do it!

385
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:10,583
Do it! Do it!

386
00:25:10,666 --> 00:25:11,791
Do it!

387
00:25:11,875 --> 00:25:12,833
Do it!

388
00:25:12,916 --> 00:25:14,416
Do it! Do it!

389
00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:15,375
Do it!

390
00:25:15,458 --> 00:25:16,416
Do it!

391
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:17,375
Do it!

392
00:25:17,458 --> 00:25:19,000
Do it! Do it!

393
00:25:19,083 --> 00:25:21,958
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

394
00:25:22,041 --> 00:25:23,458
Do it! Do it!

395
00:25:23,541 --> 00:25:26,541
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

396
00:25:26,625 --> 00:25:30,750
Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

397
00:25:30,833 --> 00:25:34,625
Wait!
I... I cannot perform this operation.

398
00:25:34,708 --> 00:25:35,583
Why not?
399
00:25:35,666 --> 00:25:36,833
There is one thing to be done.

400
00:25:36,916 --> 00:25:39,541
The most important thing
we do here at Heimlich Hospital.

401
00:25:40,458 --> 00:25:43,375
And what might that be?

402
00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:47,208
Paperwork.

403
00:25:49,250 --> 00:25:50,625
We haven't done the paperwork.

404
00:25:50,708 --> 00:25:52,916
Paperwork! Yes, of course!

405
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,125
Somebody call Hal.

406
00:25:54,208 --> 00:25:57,166
I will! I'll go get him right now!

407
00:25:59,125 --> 00:26:01,583
Just a brief pause, ladies and gentlemen.

408
00:26:01,666 --> 00:26:03,583
A minor interruption.

409
00:26:06,583 --> 00:26:08,708
You may have found a way to stall,
but sooner or later,

410
00:26:08,791 --> 00:26:12,125
the show will go on,
and there will be blood.

411
00:26:13,375 --> 00:26:15,791
Unless...

412
00:26:15,875 --> 00:26:17,708
- Unless?
- Unless?
413
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:21,083
You give me what I want.

414
00:26:21,916 --> 00:26:25,416
We'll stop this operation right now
if you give me the item

415
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,041
you stole
from the Library of Records last night.

416
00:26:29,125 --> 00:26:30,083
It's mine.

417
00:26:30,166 --> 00:26:32,041
Why would we stop? The whole point...

418
00:26:32,125 --> 00:26:34,333
Mine, mine, mine, mine,

419
00:26:34,416 --> 00:26:36,416
mine, mine, mine, mine!

420
00:26:40,416 --> 00:26:43,583
If it will save Violet, then...

421
00:26:45,750 --> 00:26:49,500
Oh, at last!

422
00:26:51,583 --> 00:26:52,666
This isn't the sugar bowl.

423
00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:55,333
Sugar bowl?
That's the Snicket file.

424
00:26:55,416 --> 00:26:56,916
Snicket file? What's this?

425
00:26:57,500 --> 00:26:58,625
You...

426
00:27:00,458 --> 00:27:01,291
Now let Violet go.
427
00:27:05,083 --> 00:27:10,250
It has come to
my attention that this man is an impostor.

428
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,000
He is not a doctor at all.

429
00:27:13,083 --> 00:27:16,958
He's two children, neither of which
have graduated from medical school.

430
00:27:21,791 --> 00:27:25,250
Oh, my gosh, it's those Baudelaires.

431
00:27:29,291 --> 00:27:31,583
Baudelaires? You're not doctors.

432
00:27:31,666 --> 00:27:34,500
No, they're murderers.
They killed Count Olaf.

433
00:27:34,583 --> 00:27:37,958
- Who?
- He... He's a very handsome actor.

434
00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:39,375
We didn't kill anybody.

435
00:27:39,458 --> 00:27:43,041
These people disguised my sister
so they could chop off her head.

436
00:27:43,125 --> 00:27:44,000
They did what?

437
00:27:45,250 --> 00:27:46,375
Violet.

438
00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:48,541
Don't be ridiculous.

439
00:27:48,625 --> 00:27:50,708
You're the one
trying to saw off her head. Look.
440
00:27:52,875 --> 00:27:56,333
I think it's best
the children come along with me.

441
00:27:56,416 --> 00:27:58,833
Not that I would believe a stranger
over you Baudelaires,

442
00:27:58,916 --> 00:28:00,583
but if you're not murderers,

443
00:28:00,666 --> 00:28:03,125
why sneak into the hospital in disguise?

444
00:28:03,208 --> 00:28:05,083
I think I can explain that.

445
00:28:05,166 --> 00:28:06,625
We're glad to see you.

446
00:28:06,708 --> 00:28:09,666
Well, I'm glad to see you, too,
even if you are a bit blurry.

447
00:28:10,625 --> 00:28:13,333
I thought for sure
you would have snuck away

448
00:28:13,416 --> 00:28:17,125
after your prolonged
and treacherous vandalism.

449
00:28:17,208 --> 00:28:19,250
Vandalism? That's terrible.

450
00:28:19,333 --> 00:28:20,791
It was terrible.

451
00:28:21,375 --> 00:28:25,833
These three Baudelaire murderers
pretended to be volunteers.

452
00:28:26,875 --> 00:28:30,041
They made a fake key ring
and switched it for the real one,
453
00:28:30,125 --> 00:28:32,958
so that they could break
into the Library of Records

454
00:28:33,041 --> 00:28:36,208
and destroy any files about their crimes.

455
00:28:39,791 --> 00:28:41,708
I thought you were my friends.

456
00:28:44,458 --> 00:28:46,750
We didn't mean to destroy anything.

457
00:28:46,833 --> 00:28:49,916
I'm sorry we tricked you,
and I am so sorry about your library,

458
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,041
but we're not the real criminals here.

459
00:28:53,125 --> 00:28:55,000
The real criminals are...

460
00:28:57,458 --> 00:28:58,750
Where's Count Olaf?

461
00:29:00,291 --> 00:29:02,041
I suppose I should start at the beginning.

462
00:29:02,125 --> 00:29:04,791
But, before I do,
I have an important update.

463
00:29:04,875 --> 00:29:07,125
It seems there may have been
a survivor of the fire.

464
00:29:07,916 --> 00:29:08,750
What?

465
00:29:08,833 --> 00:29:10,625
- Did you say...
- That's right.

466
00:29:10,708 --> 00:29:14,875
I can't believe it.
This changes everything.

467
00:29:42,625 --> 00:29:46,166
Attention.
This is Dr. Mattathias Medical School,

468
00:29:46,250 --> 00:29:48,166
with some very important news.

469
00:29:48,250 --> 00:29:50,500
A terrible fire has broken out

470
00:29:50,583 --> 00:29:52,833
in the Heimlich Hospital.

471
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:57,625
The fire was set in the Library of Records
by the Baudelaire murderers.

472
00:29:57,708 --> 00:30:01,375
Please arrest them and bring them to me.

473
00:30:01,458 --> 00:30:04,208
Oh, and you might want
to evacuate the building.

474
00:30:04,291 --> 00:30:08,708
Or move the patients or something.
Thank you.

475
00:30:08,791 --> 00:30:11,166
We couldn't have started that fire.
We've been in this theater.

476
00:30:11,250 --> 00:30:12,125
Surround them!

477
00:30:12,208 --> 00:30:13,708
Capture those Baudelaires!

478
00:30:13,791 --> 00:30:15,583
We'll perform surgery on all three of you.

479
00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:18,041
What? No,
the children will go to prison, of course.

480
00:30:18,125 --> 00:30:20,625
They'll be in juvenile detention
until they come of age.

481
00:30:20,708 --> 00:30:21,875
They should be tried as adults.

482
00:30:21,958 --> 00:30:23,666
Murderers should get the chair.

483
00:30:23,750 --> 00:30:24,958
These are just children!

484
00:30:25,041 --> 00:30:26,166
Very small chairs, then.

485
00:30:26,250 --> 00:30:27,291
Go!

486
00:30:28,875 --> 00:30:31,625
- Hal, please.
- You destroyed my library.

487
00:30:32,416 --> 00:30:34,750
Ow! The baby bit me!

488
00:30:36,708 --> 00:30:37,916
Get the Baudelaires!

489
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,291
Don't let them get away!

490
00:30:53,375 --> 00:30:54,791
Tackle them!

491
00:30:54,875 --> 00:30:57,291
- This is like PE class all over again.
- Murderers!

492
00:30:57,375 --> 00:30:58,208
Get 'em!

493
00:30:58,291 --> 00:31:00,166
- We're in trouble.
- I see that.

494
00:31:30,041 --> 00:31:31,333
This way. This way.

495
00:31:34,958 --> 00:31:37,375
Now I need a doctor.

496
00:31:42,666 --> 00:31:43,541
We need your help.

497
00:31:43,625 --> 00:31:45,708
The hospital is on fire.
We have to get out.

498
00:31:45,791 --> 00:31:48,208
- I'll try. How high up are we?
- Uh...

499
00:31:49,083 --> 00:31:52,125
Uh, thirty, forty feet. Too high to jump.

500
00:31:52,208 --> 00:31:53,375
There's a crowd, too.

501
00:31:56,416 --> 00:31:57,500
Open up in there.

502
00:31:58,458 --> 00:31:59,416
No.

503
00:32:00,333 --> 00:32:01,250
Please?

504
00:32:04,083 --> 00:32:06,500
- The film, do you have it?
- We had to give it to Esmé.

505
00:32:06,583 --> 00:32:08,166
We have to focus on getting out.

506
00:32:09,625 --> 00:32:11,291
I don't have my ribbon.

507
00:32:18,541 --> 00:32:22,333
Thank you, Sunny.
I know it's silly, but it helps.

508
00:32:26,458 --> 00:32:28,166
The surgical tubing.
Tie it up, make a cord.

509
00:32:34,666 --> 00:32:36,833
I'll tie it to the pipe
with the Devil's Tongue knot

510
00:32:36,916 --> 00:32:38,833
- so we can break our fall.
- Is that safe?

511
00:32:38,916 --> 00:32:41,666
Many people jump from high places
on long, rubbery cords for fun.

512
00:32:41,750 --> 00:32:42,875
We can do it to escape.

513
00:32:44,250 --> 00:32:47,000
- If it's 40 feet, we won't make it.
- If it's 30, we might.

514
00:32:52,958 --> 00:32:55,375
- We won't leave you behind again.
- I'll hold on to you.

515
00:33:00,625 --> 00:33:03,375
Yeah! Yeah!

516
00:33:04,500 --> 00:33:05,500
Yeah!

517
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,625
I have butterflies in my stomach.

518
00:33:12,166 --> 00:33:13,083
Hold on tight.

519
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:16,500
Here I am. Nurse Lucafont.

520
00:33:18,375 --> 00:33:20,875
Many things in this world
I do not know.

521
00:33:22,625 --> 00:33:26,916
I don't know exactly how caterpillars know
to create their cocoons.

522
00:33:27,416 --> 00:33:29,875
I don't know how
some people are brave enough

523
00:33:29,958 --> 00:33:33,375
to follow their passion
in a world set out to destroy them.

524
00:33:35,666 --> 00:33:38,125
Oh, not again.

525
00:33:38,208 --> 00:33:40,583
I do not know
where the Baudelaire children are

526
00:33:40,666 --> 00:33:43,083
or if they are safe or alive.

527
00:33:43,166 --> 00:33:44,375
There is one thing I do know.

528
00:33:44,458 --> 00:33:46,541
The window in the supply closet

529
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:49,541
in the Ward for People with Nasty Rashes
in Heimlich Hospital

530
00:33:49,625 --> 00:33:51,791
is not 30 or 40 feet off the ground.

531
00:33:52,875 --> 00:33:56,833
It's 20, which is one foot higher
than the length of the cord.

532
00:33:56,916 --> 00:33:59,583
So when the children leapt
into the smoky air,
533
00:33:59,666 --> 00:34:02,708
Violet's invention worked perfectly.

534
00:34:05,666 --> 00:34:06,916
Ow!

535
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,375
We survived.

536
00:34:08,458 --> 00:34:09,625
That really stung.

537
00:34:11,541 --> 00:34:12,750
Act casual.

538
00:34:16,375 --> 00:34:19,708
- Keep your eyes open for the Baudelaires.
- I'll find them. I know I will.

539
00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:33,000
Hurry up or I'll leave you behind.

540
00:34:33,083 --> 00:34:36,166
Coming! Open the trunk.
I'll throw these costumes in.

541
00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:42,375
This is horrific.

542
00:34:42,458 --> 00:34:45,166
We never found the sugar bowl
after the librarian told us it was here.

543
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:47,083
- It's worse than that.
- I know,

544
00:34:47,166 --> 00:34:49,458
and the Baudelaire brats escaped again.

545
00:34:49,541 --> 00:34:52,250
It's very, very worse than that.

546
00:34:54,583 --> 00:34:58,666
There may be a survivor
of the Baudelaire fire.

547
00:35:02,750 --> 00:35:05,416
The police and the fire department
are here.

548
00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:08,833
They already think we're murderers.
Now they'll think we're arsonists.

549
00:35:08,916 --> 00:35:10,666
We need an escape.

550
00:35:10,750 --> 00:35:14,000
- I think we already have one.
- What?

551
00:35:16,791 --> 00:35:19,291
We can't wander the Hinterlands,
hoping we don't get captured.

552
00:35:19,375 --> 00:35:21,916
Getting into that trunk
is getting captured.

553
00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:30,833
Get in the car this instant!
I'm leaving on the count of three.

554
00:35:30,916 --> 00:35:33,583
Just one second, boss.
We're waiting for you-know-who.

555
00:35:33,666 --> 00:35:34,791
One.

556
00:35:39,166 --> 00:35:40,333
Stings real bad.

557
00:35:40,416 --> 00:35:42,083
- Two!
- Oh.

558
00:35:43,333 --> 00:35:46,166
What choice do we have?

559
00:36:00,833 --> 00:36:01,958
Three.

560
00:36:03,208 --> 00:36:04,291
What's next, boss?

561
00:36:04,375 --> 00:36:06,916
How should I know? I'm not...

562
00:36:12,166 --> 00:36:13,458
psychic.

563
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:24,583
Oh!

564
00:36:24,666 --> 00:36:26,375
Let me help you.

565
00:36:26,458 --> 00:36:30,041
My paperwork, my clipboard, it's all gone.

566
00:36:31,541 --> 00:36:32,958
I'm sorry for your loss.

567
00:36:33,041 --> 00:36:35,541
I've lost a lot of paperwork myself...

568
00:36:36,458 --> 00:36:37,541
and three orphans.

569
00:36:50,583 --> 00:36:52,541
I guess we're still on the lam.

570
00:36:53,041 --> 00:36:55,250
We're alive, and we're together.

571
00:36:58,291 --> 00:37:00,166
I am alone this evening,

572
00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:02,583
alone because of a cruel twist of fate,

573
00:37:02,666 --> 00:37:05,333
a phrase which means nothing has gone
the way I thought it would.
574
00:37:06,791 --> 00:37:09,458
I was once a content man
with a comfortable home,

575
00:37:09,541 --> 00:37:12,875
a successful career,
a woman that I loved very much,

576
00:37:12,958 --> 00:37:15,291
and an extremely reliable typewriter.

577
00:37:15,375 --> 00:37:16,458
But it's all gone,

578
00:37:16,583 --> 00:37:18,625
and all I have
to remember those happy days

579
00:37:18,708 --> 00:37:20,125
is this tattoo on my ankle.

580
00:37:21,333 --> 00:37:23,333
It's all gone. It's all gone.

581
00:37:23,416 --> 00:37:25,916
Sometimes life feels like
some dismal story

582
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:30,500
presented as entertainment
by some cruel and invisible author.

583
00:37:32,625 --> 00:37:34,541
It isn't a pleasant way to feel.

584
00:37:38,041 --> 00:37:40,000
But what choice do we have?

584
00:37:41,305 --> 00:37:47,839
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