M4D1 Notes

It is likely that you do not believe the world will end soon. However, we see news reports from time-to-
time that call attention to doomsday groups that believe in the apocalypse. Some even pick the final
day. As recently as 2012, there were people who believed that the world would end on December 21,
based on an ancient Maya prophecy. Even though that day came and went without incident, we can
assume that in the future new doomsday groups will appear with their dire predictions. In the following
case study, we read about a family that was part of the 2012 doomsday cult. The family has a number
of other issues as well that create a harmful conflict climate.
The purpose of this activity is to apply correctly the key concepts, principles, and suggestions from
Chapter 6 to the case study.
Read the following case study and the instructions that follow it.
“Whom do I have the most conflict with in my family? I’d have to say, my husband, Duane. But I
should first tell you that he is 44 and I am 33. Married since I was 19, we have 2 kids, a 12- year- old
son and 15- year- old daughter. One of the distinguishing features of our family is that we belong to
Live Now, which is a group that believes the world will end next year. Locally, we hold meetings every
month, and our state has a meeting every year. Our group has accumulated a lot of evidence that the
end will come. This is one thing all of us in the family believe in. Other than this, my husband and I do
not agree about many things and have a lot of conflict.
Duane really upsets me when he gets too controlling and starts ordering me and the kids around. When
he gets this way, he says things like he wears the pants in the family or has the more demanding and
better paying job. He often interrupts and talks over me. He also contradicts me and the kids in family
discussions and says we don’t know what we are talking about. My friend tells me that I should assert
myself more and stand up to him, but that isn’t my way. I think one shouldn’t behave like he does and
should not need to be told how to act. When he gets this way, which is often, the kids and I just try to
stay out of his way. Anyway, we only have to tolerate his efforts to control us for another year.
He is also too competitive. Duane makes statements like, “I have never lost an argument.” When he
plays games with the kids, he dominates them. They never win against him. It’s not like they are a
threat or likely to beat him. He just enjoys winning. He belongs to a bowling league and gets upset if
his team loses and won’t speak to anyone at home. Again, we just have to stay out of his way when he
gets upset like that.
Perhaps I am most bothered by the fact that I have never felt I can trust Duane. How so? The way he
looks at other women. There are also times I can’t account for his whereabouts. I can’t really say
anything to him about any of these faults because he gets really upset easily. He says I am crazy. He
says he is doing everything the way he should and the rest of us have to realize it. He claims he is the
only sane one in the family. Duane claims it is our responsibility to get on board with him. He criticizes
the kids and me for being too influenced by sitcoms on TV. If the kids are ever critical of him, he
changes the subject or blames them or me for everything. Again, I keep telling myself that I only have
to put up with his behavior for one more year.”
1. Read the case study
2. Jot down what concepts you read in Chapter 6 that might apply to this scenario
1. Harmful Conflict Climate -“Conflict management produces destructive and negative
results when it suffers from a harmful conflict climate, consisting of the threats of power
abuse, competition, distrust, and defensiveness. Such threats foster avoidance and
accommodation (possibly resulting in avoidance and chilling effect cycles) or
competition (meeting force with force, which may foster a competitive escalation cycle
that eventually becomes violent).” (p. 135)
 1. distrust – “Distrust means we lack confidence in another person, we do
not rely on that person, and/or we are suspicious or wary of her or him. In
the above case study, the young woman trusted her friend, Marilyn, who
didn’t behave as a friend she can confide in. In cases like this, breaches of
trust are seemingly unforgiveable , a topic we treat in Chapter 9 on
“emotional residues and forgiveness.” (p. 143)
2. Power – In general, power is the ability to influence or control events.
People have power over us to the extent that we depend on them, they can
affect our goal achievement, and they have the resources we need to
accomplish our goals (p. 136)
1. power abuse - Power contributes to a harmful conflict climate
when it is perceived as threatening.
3. Defensiveness - “According to Gibb, defensive behaviors consist of
evaluation, control, strategy, neutrality, superiority, and certainty” (p. 146)
1. An evaluation consists of praise and blame, while a
nonjudgmental description is worded in a way that does not
threaten the other’s self‐esteem.
• Control refers to attempts to dominate another’s behavior,
whereas a problem orientation is a focus on the issue rather
than on preserving ones’ power over another.
• While strategy suggests motives and agendas, spontaneity is
straightforward, unplanned, and captures the spirit of the
moment.
• Neutrality refers to a lack of concern for the welfare of others
(i.e., “that is not my problem”), while empathy involves
taking an interest in others.
• Superiority means “pulling rank” on others, versus equality,
which expresses a desire to cooperate and invites
participation.
• Certainty appears dogmatic because it refers to statements that
consist of “all” or “every,” such as “you always do that to me”
or “everybody does it,” while provisionalism suggests
tentativeness, a desire to withhold one’s judgment until all the
facts are in. (p. 146)
3. Define what the concept(s) is that fits this case
1. Harmful Conflict Climate -
1. Controlling Behavior exhibited by the husband when he order's the wife and kids
around, stating,
2. Superiority – Duane states he, “wears the pants in the family”, and “has the more
demanding and better paying job.”
3. Distrust - “Distrust means we lack confidence in another person, we do not rely
on that person, and/or we are suspicious or wary of her or him. In the above case
study, the young woman trusted her friend, Marilyn, who didn’t behave as a
friend she can confide in. In cases like this, breaches of trust are seemingly
unforgiveable , a topic we treat in Chapter 9 on “emotional residues and
forgiveness.” (p. 143)
 4. State what behaviors you see happening that substantiate why you chose the concepts you have
identified
5. Write a 250-300 word post where you put together #2 and #3; this post should be in narrative
form
6. Include references to the textbook in your post; use the APA style guide
7. Make sure to proofread for grammar
8. Put your post in a discussion thread
This case study is a clear example of a “Harmful Conflict Climate” (Abigail and Cahn, 2016, p. 135),
described as a style of conflict management that produces, “destructive and negative results when it
suffers from a harmful conflict climate, consisting of the threats of power abuse, competition, distrust,
and defensiveness.” Power abuse, defined as, “contribut(ing) to a harmful conflict climate when it is
perceived as threatening”, is demonstrated in this case study when the husbands family stay out of his
way and avoid conflicts with him because of the perceived threat that the rest of the family see's based
on his role in the family.

The husband also uses, “Controlling Behavior” (Abigail and Cahn, 2016, p. 146) to dominate the rest
of his family in conflict situations. Defined by Abigail and Cahn as, “ attempts to dominate another’s
behavior, (focusing) on preserving ones’ power over another”, the husband tries uses controlling
behavior in the case study when he order's the wife and kids around, stating, “wears the pants in the
family”, and then “pulls rank”with statements such as he, “has the more demanding and better paying
job.” This “pulling of rank is classified as, “Superiority” (p. 146) behavior according to Abigail and
Cahn, defined as, “pulling rank” on others, versus equality, which expresses a desire to cooperate and
invites participation” (p. 146). These behaviors are two variables that have contributed to the
dysfunctional conflict situation shown in this case study. Unfortunately the wife's mentality that she
only has to deal with it for a year until the world ends doesn't help either since this isn't really a realistic
expectation based on reality.

References
Cahn, D. D., & Abigail, R. A. (2014). Managing conflict through communication (5th ed.).
Boston, MA: Pearson.