Hello everyone, Justin Vacula here with another episode of the Stoic Philosophy Podcast.

Today's
episode is titled Complaining.

Visit my website at justinvacula.com where you can find links to my social portals including Facebook,
Twitter, and Instagram and see past content on Soundcloud, YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher. Support me
on my Patreon.com page on which I offer several rewards to patrons.

I explore the tradition of Stoicism with goals to inform, empower, and help others benefit from
practical wisdom of Ancient Greek, Roman, and modern thinkers including Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius,
and Seneca.

For the Stoics, a main focus is pursuing virtue to attain a well-examined life through practical
applications of Philosophy – acting with good character, using reason to form accurate careful
judgments about the world, and achieving contentment. Stoic writers focus on many perennial human
concerns and urge people to take action applying what they learn to everyday life. Self-improvement is
central to Stoic thought – strengthening and improving one's mindset.

Complaining, expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about a state of affairs, is something Stoic

writers talk of as being unproductive, ungracious, and unadmirable – at least when not accompanied
with a plan for change towards achieving a goal where change is possible. Perhaps we might feel good
after complaining. Maybe we like being heard, venting our concerns with others or even to ourselves
with a sort of inner speech, but complaining can have many drawbacks in causing us to focus too much
and become annoyed with things we have little influence over. We can fail to appreciate things that are
going well for us and take much for granted – a focus on the negative elements of life, things we do not
like, after all, is linked to depression – a bias toward the negative and rumination can lead to clinical
symptoms.

People can complain about innumerable things including financial worries or difficulties; poor drivers;
relationships; work; poor customer service; perceived misfortune at poker tables; and difficulties with
technology. Merely expressing dissatisfaction likely won't help the situation, can make us more
annoyed, lead to anger, lead to more stress, and interfere with our daily routine. Rather than merely
complaining, we can recognize that we can have power over our thoughts and choose to accept what
has happened in many situations and move on relatively undisturbed. Perhaps we can think about how
we can avoid particular situations, make changes to influence outcomes, or work toward reducing
stressors by choosing different plans of action.

Perhaps we find that our job is largely unfulfilling, our boss behaves in a nasty manner, our co-workers
aren't doing their jobs properly which places a larger work burden on us, the pay is low, the hours are
too demanding, and we don't find a sense of meaning in our work. What courses of action can we take?
We can complain and keep doing what we are doing, resigning to the fact that our job is of low quality
– not trying to change anything. We can also try to make changes at work to foster a better work
environment, manage our time better, and better tolerate the situation perhaps seeing this job as a
means to an end while looking for new opportunities in other workplaces – perhaps we'll vent to friends
about our dissatisfaction, but can also take action to change our lives.

In almost every area of life, we can find something we dislike – utopia is quite unlikely. We can come
to accept the areas which can be improved after trying to change but seeing our efforts as being
unsuccessful if we determine the positives outweigh the negatives. Especially in time, novelty will fade
away with new workplaces, relationships, material possessions and with familiarity we can find areas
we would like to see change in – perhaps we are really happy at first, but the honeymoon phase ends
and we can complain. The realization of novelty fading allows us to expect a drop in satisfaction and
not have unrealistic expectations of elevated bliss which, when it may go away, will lead us to
complain.

Let's look to Seneca's letters to Lucillius for some thoughts on complaining.

In his letter titled 'On the Futility of halfway measures,' Seneca talks about people complaining about
their work although they enjoy the rewards of the labor. Seneca doesn't suggest people choose just any
job, but rather select a good job. He writes, “a good man will not waste himself upon mean and
discreditable work or be busy merely for the sake of being busy. Neither will he, as you imagine,
become so involved in ambitious schemes that we will have continually to endure their ebb and flow.”

Here's the part about complaining, “Men complain about their ambitions as they complain about their
mistresses; in other words, if you penetrate their real feelings, you will find, not hatred but bickering.
Search the minds of those who cry down what they desired, who talk about escaping from things which
they are unable to do without; you will comprehend that they are lingering of their own free will in a
situation which they declare they find it hard and wretched to endure.”

On Seneca's view, people are imposing a sort of slavery upon themselves by not making change and
complaining, bickering, about circumstances in their lives they can change. Instead, they can take
action to change circumstances and/or change their mindset and behaviors to complain less, accept
more, and be more positive. Perhaps they can get a new job although even then the grass, as is said,
may not be greener on the other side. We can ask what would be traded for what – if we were to leave a
current position what are we giving up and what would be gained. If a transition doesn't seem to be
worth it, then what good would complaining do should be remain in the same work environment – can
it do any good? I talk more about acceptance, overcoming adversity, and gratitude in previous podcast
episodes you can listen to on SoundCloud.

In his letter titled 'On Master and Slave,' Seneca talks more about a self-imposed slavery, the most
disgraceful kind of slavery, he says, and people creating problems for themselves by finding faults and
complaining rather than reducing our desires and being grateful. Seneca writes, “That which annoys us
does not necessarily injure us; but we are driven into wild rage by our luxurious lives, so that whatever
does not answer our whims arouses our anger. We don the temper of kings. For they, too, forgetful alike
of their own strength and other men's weakness, grow white-hot with rage, as if they had received an
injury, when they are entirely protected from such injury by their exalted station. They are not unaware
that this is true, but by finding fault they seize upon opportunities to do harm; they insist they have
received injuries, in order that they may inflict them.”

There's something to be said here about the dangers of exaggerating what annoys us and complaining
about annoyances. There's further danger, too, in becoming so annoyed that we believe we have been
injured and then wanting to exact revenge on someone else, lose control of our rational mind, and even
cause harm to ourselves in our anger.

Here's more about taking action rather than merely complaining from Seneca's letter titled 'On Grief for
lost friends.' Seneca writes, “If a man has lost his one and only tunic through robbery chooses to bewail
his plight rather than look about him for some way to escape the cold, or for something with which to
cover his shoulders, would you not think him an utter fool?” If we're finding something missing in our
lives or something about our past which ails us, we can work to improve our current situation and not
dwell on our misfortune, not complain, but instead take action. Let's not be the fool, but instead be
someone who works toward self-improvement, reasonable goals, and a strong mindset which can
overcome difficulties while being relatively undaunted. Stoicism, contrary to what some critics believe,
is not about passive resignation, but is about acceptance of the past and present while working to make
changes where possible to improve our quality of life. We can show courage in taking action, being
defiant, and working to bear circumstances with an eye toward improvement.

Here's more from Seneca about not complaining and not making our troubles worse than they actually
are in his letter titled 'On the healing power of the mind.' Seneca writes, “do not of your own accord
make your troubles heavier to bear and burden yourself with complaining. Pain is slight if opinion has
added nothing to it; but if, on the other hand, you begin to encourage yourself and say, it is nothing a
trifling matter at most, keep a stout heart and it will soon cease, then in thinking it slight, you will make
it slight. [...] It is according to opinion that we suffer. A man is as wretched as he has convinced himself
that he is.”

In his letter titled 'On the Supreme Good,' Seneca encourages people not to focus on what he calls
revolting things and through a better focus, a more productive focus and fulfilled life, we can have
more contentment, acceptance, and less complaining. We can set goals to improve our lives, have
reasonable desires, and not procrastinate. Seneca writes, “I fully understand what this task is. It is a
thing which I desire, and I desire it with all my heart. I see that you also have been aroused and are
hastening with great zeal towards infinite beauty. Let us, then, hasten; only on these terms will life be a
boon to us; otherwise there is delay, and indeed, disgraceful delay, while we busy ourselves with
revolting things. Let us see to it that all time belongs to us.”

In his letter titled 'On Benefits,' Seneca talks about dealing with other people. Rather than assuming ill-
intent or jumping to conclusions, we can be charitable toward others in our interpretations and thus
reduce our complaining and thinking that we have been injured. Seneca writes, “and what is more
wretched than a man who forgets his benefits and clings to his injuries? […] He despises the wrongs
done him, not accidentally, but voluntarily. He does not put a wrong construction upon everything, or
seek for someone whom he may hold responsible for each happening; he rather ascribes the sins of men
to chance. He will not misinterpret a word or a look; he makes light of all mishaps by interpreting them
in a generous way. […] the spirit of kindliness always tries to bend every doubtful case toward the
better interpretation.” An attitude of charity and not making such a big deal about slights from others,
real or imagined, should help us complain less and focus more on good happenings in our life, things in
our control, and allow us to be more content.

To recap, rather than merely complaining, we should take action to change that which we can and work
toward a better quality of life including realistic goals. For that which we cannot change, we can work
on acceptance, be more grateful for good parts of life, not exaggerate our difficulties, and not create
problems for ourselves.

Thanks for listening and stay tuned for more content.

Visit my website at justinvacula.com where you can find links to my social portals including Facebook,
Twitter, and Instagram and see past content on Soundcloud, YouTube, iTunes, and Stitcher.

Consider donating if you support my work and would like to see more for this takes time, money, and
effort to produce content. Support me on my Patreon.com page on which I offer several rewards to
patrons. Have a good day.