____________________________________________________

Dream Diary From March 2018

____________________________________________________
These are non sequitur surreal verses written by Adi Cox in the
style of prose poetry. Each verse is one dream that has been
written down to the best of my ability.

CONTENT.

Spring Chapters
March 2018 --- verses 1-28
April 2018 --- verses 29-55
May 2018 --- verses 56-100

Summer Chapters
June 2018 --- verses 101-

____________________________________________________

March 2018

____________________________________________________

(1) Our Generation.

(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.
(3) Moved On.
(4) Fun Night.
(5) To Find A Space.
(6) Walk Away.
(7) Not Really.
(8) Making Work.
(9) A While.
(10) An Event.
(11) Fat Pudding.
(12) Inexplicable.
(13) The Army Of Choice.
(14) Kitchen Classic.
(15) As We Dance.
(16) Flat Box.
(17) The Girl That I Like.
(18) As I Watch Them Play.
(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.
(20) Bits Of Gossip.
(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.
(22) My Imposition.
(23) Our Distraction.
(24) Choc A Lot.
(25) Barbara.
(26) To Find Our Place.
(27) My Silence.
(28) Odd Behaviour.

1-3-18

(1) Our Generation.

At my age in life at fifty two I have learnt all these dance moves to
the sounds of the modern beat. I pick myself up and I put myself
down. I position myself and then I throw myself around. All the
single parent males take note of each other as we teach our
children and we talk about the music styles of our generation as
we jump around:

This is the beat of the Manchester Rave scene. This is the beat of
the Techno Dream. To which at our late age, we pick ourselves up
and then we throw ourselves around.
2-3-18

(2) Scraggy The Ginger Tom.

It is all about the cat. I do my job and I get my rewards, but it is
the cat that needs you. That scrawny cat who watches and waits
with its scraggy fur coat. That ginger fur coat all wet and
dishevelled has seen better days.

There are two almost identical phone numbers. Except one ends
in one four zero and the other ends in one three five. I am looking
at these numbers but I do not know who they are.

3-3-18

(3) Moved On.

The lads are carrying on with the band without me. I have moved
on. I notice that in family room 2 they are playing there and so I
stop around and listen to them. I did not know that there was a
family 2. I knew that there was a family room 1. I have a chat with
a lad from the band but I have moved on.

4-3-18

(4) Fun Night.

This is not my mobile disco. I am just helping someone to run their
disco. There seems to have been an argument. There is a bit of
tension. I have set up the disco in the living room. On the settee
and its two matching comfy chairs. It does not give enough room
for dancers though. There is just enough room for one person on
the dance floor which is just in front of the TV and that space is
taken up by a man sat on a dining room chair. He is a big lad
wearing a white shirt. The family of this household have had an
argument and the various factions of people have split off. The
one older lad is the person sat on the dining chair in front of the
TV. No one else can watch TV now. Someone else in the family is
not happy about this. So there he is sat with his back to us
watching TV. The disco is set up all around him on the three piece
suit. I sense that it is going to be a fun night in this household
tonight. Someone could get extremely cross here.

6-3-18

(5) To Find A Space.

It is all about parking your car up so that you are free. People park
their cars and this is tied in with other things. So it needs to be
clear, it needs to be on its own without distractions, without
having to get your money out all the time. I watch around and I
see others watching those people who park their cars. There are
some frowns. There are some idiots out there who just park
anywhere. It will all come back on them in the end.

8-3-18

(6) Walk Away.

I thought that she was my special girlfriend. We go around to this
lads house, this girl and I. She is as close to him as she has been to
me. Maybe she is close to everyone. They are in a small room
together now. I hear her laughing the way that she laughs with
me. I cannot see what they are doing. I am silent now. I am out of
the picture and so I walk off dejectedly.
I thought that I had a special relationship with the girl, but it
seems to me now that she is special to others also. Her
womanliness is attractive to others too, but I am out of the picture
now as I walk off. I just walk away.

9-3-18

(7) Not Really.

The purpley lens comes out of the sun glasses that I have in my
hands, but not really. I know that this is only in my mind and in my
mouth, as I feel the plastic lens in my mouth, but not really. I know
that this is only in my mind. The plastic rattles around my teeth
tastelessly, but not really. I know that these are only thoughts in
my mind and I do not want to think about them any more.

10-3-18

(8) Making Work.

It is as if there is no gravity. Toby is up on the ceiling touching up
the bumpy white wallpaper that has been pasted up there on the
ceiling and then emulsioned over with white paint. This is the
show piece to get more work and so the work must be done good.

I think to myself: 'Why wallpaper a ceiling? Surely this is making

work for yourself. Surely the ceiling could have just been
emulsioned over in white straight onto the ceiling and that would
have saved having to do a lot of work. Me, I am all about not
making work for myself.'
12-3-18

(9) A While.
Me and my dad are sat in the lounge. In comes my sister Maz.
"Come on you're not sitting there!" She says to us.

I get myself to the bottom of the stairs and tell Maz. "You are not
allowed upstairs. You cannot get past me. I will not let you." And I
poke her in her stomach just to make a point.

Later on Mum and Maz are sat outside in deck chairs soaking up
the summer sun. I go up to them and I give them an ice cream
pastie. "Oh thanks." They respond to my generosity in chorus,
grateful for their treat.

"And here's one for me." I finalise, to make it clear that we all
have our pasties.

There is another deck chair, but the cat is sat on it underneath a

cushion. 'I had better not sit on that cat.' I think to myself and to
my surprise the cat talks back.

"I'm not getting off this chair." He states, just before I grab the
cushion and hit the cat on its back with it. To which the cat then
jumps off the deck chair in a hurry with its black fur all fluffed up.
So now I join Maz and mum sat outside in the sun with an ice
cream pastie and we all while our time away in this glorious
sunshine as we each tuck into our pasties.

13-3-18

(10) An Event.
It is all a bit crazy. If the emergency services get you then you have
had it. I have got myself out onto the top road with a roller of
flares that I drag around with me. There are flares being used all
over and the smoke is drifting around making it difficult to see.
There are people here who take action, who know exactly what
they are doing. Quickly I hear a man and his commentary. I watch
him. He is calm, focused and nifty, as he gets himself across the
top road and then onto the wasteland. I was in two minds, but
then I decide to keep myself on this wasteland out of the way,
because if the emergency services take charge of me then I have
lost my freedom.

14-3-18

(11) Fat Pudding.

I am in the house with mum and dad. We are looking for stuff. We
go around a room and look under the carpet. We look everywhere
for stuff like money. Only I am in front. I think that this is a good
move because I find a better chance of finding stuff with my mum
and dad following me on behind.

"Mum wants you to look out of the window outside. There's an

owl." My dad tells me. I look out of the window into the snow
outside and sure enough this owl flies past the bedroom window.

"WOW!" My dad makes me jump. My dad sounds out loudly in

surprise as he sees the owl too.

My sister Maz is cooking. "We've only got one first course and four
puddings." She tells me jokingly as she laughs.

"I will need another pudding then Maz." I tell her in response
furthering on the joke. She hands me a plate with Cheese 'n' chips
'n' salad cream and as I eat the chips I imagine what the puddings
could be.

16-3-18

(12) Inexplicable.
I am travelling on the bus and you can get rewards back. I have
been looking around, working it all out. I meet someone and tell
them about my position and about the rewards that I have
accrued. It takes skill and you have to know what you are doing
here. It is all a bit vague and you can get lost in the abstract. There
is so much more to all of this than what I am telling you, but it has
all gone now. Lost in a fogginess. Some of my thoughts are left
behind. There are thoughts that I have lost in my memory almost
immediately. There are subtleties that cannot be expressed here, I
am sure about that.

17-3-18

(13) The Army Of Choice.

Ronnie McPherson is asking me all these questions and I am
feeling good as I Know how to answer them. Then he asks me:

"How much money would it cost you to travel by land from China
to Norway if it costs £20 to travel in each country that you go
through?"

"That's easy I've got a map." I tell him.

Then I am told, "The right army is the army of choice."

(14) Kitchen Classic.
This room is hustle and bustle, full of people. I am tidying up after
everyone. I clean the rubbish off the table. There is a perfectly
good circular bread roll with a hole in it. Like a donut. I decide to
fill the bread roll up with whisked egg and then microwave it to
make a scrambled egg roll. I do not know how this will turn out. I
am just concerned about getting egg shell in the mix, but I will
give it a try.

18-3-18

(15) As We Dance.
I miss my girl and I sing this song:

"She was gorgeous

She was my friend
But I wanted more
So it had to end.

I need some neem help."

(Neem is a tree of the mahogany family that grows in India. It is
said to have healing properties.)

"Do you like that helmet?" I am asked by someone who has just
joined me in a dance.

"Yes I do." I reply having forgotten that I was wearing a helmet and
then we dance the night away.

We all decide to go out of the pub. I step outside, then the door
step grows ten feet high. "Do not worry, we will be able to get
back in." I am reassured that I will be able to get back into the pub
later to collect my belongings. She has a brass key that will lower
the step, you see.

19-3-18

(16) Flat Box.

We are having a painting competition. I ask my dad about colour
codes. "Does it really matter?" He asks in reply.

"Yes, you might want to change the colour code if it interferes

with the background." I interject.

"'O', I see." My dad says thoughtfully and a bit irritated that I am

making this painting competition so complicated.

I paint an unfinished box like I have never painted before. It does

not have all of its sides. It is very parrallelagramish I think to
myself as I stand back and admire my work. It is two right angled
triangles joined together at their adjacents. One of the triangles is
upside down.

20-3-18

(17) The Girl That I Like.

I am running down a long street as fast as I can. Is that a man
running to my left and slightly behind me? The speed that I am
running is astounding and there is something to my left and
slightly behind me that keeps in perfect speed with me down this
long, straight city street. It just keeps up with me. It mirrors my
pace, but what is it?

There are two foreign girls in this shop now. I know which girl I like
the best, but they both admire this man who I do not know, but I
watch them. I see the girls react to this man and so I know that
both of these girls, they adore him.

There is a suit case being carried by this man. He is very

thoughtful about his actions and he justifies all that he does to
those people who are around him. There is some confusion in this
shop at the tills. Then the man leaves this shop. He walks outside
and I watch the rain under the street light as it falls down onto his
suit case.

The two foreign girls are in competition with each other for the
attention of this man. I know which girl I like, but I just spectate. I
am not a party to what is going on. I am not privy to their
affections. I just watch from a distance detached, but I know
which girl I like.

21-3-18

(18) As I Watch Them Play.

There is a lad and a girl called Georgina who are sat around a
piano table. It is like a pool table only there are piano keys all
around the edge of it. They are building up the tension as they are
paying their notes. Georgina is sat at the end of the table and the
lad is sat at the side of the table. He plays the piano keys on the
opposite side of the table reaching over the green baize he plays
his notes upside down. Building up the tension, building up the
fun. Is it a seance? Is it a channel to the spirit world? I do not
know, but it is something like that.

They take it in turns to play their tunes. They go up in pitch with

both of their hands tinkling away. They go through their routines.
It is kind of spooky. They are delving in deep as they go through
the motions. There is a sense of spirit that they reap. They know
what they do now and they tap into it good, as they work off of
each other as how only they could.

22-3-18

(19) Sidelined Into Insignificance.

There are all these light grey plastic pipes for my dreams to go
down. They are the guttering. They are like half cut drain pipes
only with full pipes that are smaller in diameter that go down the
middle of them. I try to fit two bits of guttering on top of one
another, with one of them upside down, but the smaller full pipes
in the middle of this guttering get in the way.

I am in competition with this woman and I have been ushered into

using these pipes. I had to get in fast. I seized this opportunity
quickly to use these pipes, otherwise I would have been sidelined
into insignificance forever.

These pipes are not quite right as I fit them together. I wait
patiently to get some attention, but my waiting is in vain. That
woman is here and she is taking up my time. She is wasting all of
my time. So then ultimately and unavoidably I am sidelined into
insignificance, as I stand there patiently with my light grey plastic
pipe dreams in my hands. I just stand there.
24-3-18

(20) Bits Of Gossip.

It is really vague but I have something to say with grated chocolate
on it. I feel the grated bits of chocolate fall down and land on a flat
paper surface with the sound of many tinkles. Tink. Tink. Tink,
tink, tink. Tink.

25-3-18

(21) Ancient Symbols Of Division And That Great Divide.

I am in some big house, full of people. These people are around
me they are different people to the people who I have known
before. These people are more spiritual than the people who I
have ever known before. Some of them articulate. Some of them
do not. Some may be crackpots. I am making them out. I am quiet.
I am reticent as I take in the feel of this place and I watch the
people and their ways.

I make my way to a railway station. The platform moves. Those

grey concrete slabs and ramps reveal themselves as I walk along,
but I am aware that this railway station is divided into two parts. I
want to get onto the other half of this railway station, but in
between there is a swampy no mans' land full of little tombstones
that are overgrown with nettles. I step onto these little
tombstones. They have rusty metal bars that I stand on as
stepping stones I step across, but the nettles they grow high and
they sting me on my hands. The gravity it pulls me down here like
hands that grab me and pull me down towards the swamp. So as I
try to cross this swampy no mans' land, symbols! Ancient symbols
cross my mind that send chills down into my spine. It is then and
only then that I abandon my journey. I give up my attempt to cross
this divide. Too scared of what might happen. Too wracked with
the anxieties I find in those ancient symbols that permeate into
my mind.

(22) My Imposition.
I am jamming with this bloke. We are both on acoustic guitars. He
has these chords that he plays with this rhythm and I find a few
notes that sound good to it. I make a little tune to his rhythm
guitar.

"Do you want to make that song an instrumental?" I ask him keen
to use his playing for the little tune that I have made up to go
along with his guitar playing.

"No, I have some words that go with that song." He tells me which
stops me dead in my tracks with my idea for an instrumental.

'Maybe he could have his words and then incorporate my little

tune into this song after the words have been sung.' I think to
myself, but I have been dissuaded from mentioning this. He
obviously has his own plans for his guitar music. Who am I to
impose on this?

25-3-18

(23) Our Distraction.

We are in a tiny little car driving around. There is a lot of bickering.
Alan is good at delegating, pointing the finger and passing the
blame. I am driving this little white car, but then I decide to refuse
to drive anymore. We are in people's back gardens in this car. The
soil is dark, heavy and damp and this car is hard to steer in this
heavy soil. Enough is enough. I relinquish myself from the task of
driving this car. Alan does not have a clue of what he should do,
really. But I am tired of taking the blame.

So we are stuck here in someone's back garden with our little

white car, stuck here in this heavy sodden soil. Then I notice
something. Suddenly I notice something move in this heavy soil.
"Hey look! It's a pot bellied pig!" I shout out loud and sure enough
a little black and grey male pot bellied pig comes running along.
He has two little sisters who are bright yellow and blue. They are a
bit fish like though. His sisters are special they can talk you see. So
we while our time away in someone's back garden talking to two
bright yellow and blue fish like creatures, who are the two talking
sisters of this pot bellied pig.

(24) Choc A Lot.

I go through all of these empty chocolate bars. I go through their
empty cardboard packaging like a stack of playing cards. I read the
packaging as I go through them. Some have fancy writing on.
Some do not. For some it is the same chocolate bar but with a
different packaging, in different colours, in a different font.
Sometimes the chocolate bar is still in its packaging but usually
not.

L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.

L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.
L L L L L| A Choc A Lot Bar.

I cannot believe that all of these chocolate bars have been eaten
by the same person. Not eaten by me, but eaten by a woman who
is called Paula. She likes her chocolate bars a lot. There is a lot of
information here that I go through written on card. On the
packaging that I shuffle through and deal with and read all about.
This is a big deal. Yes, she likes her chocolate bars a lot.

28-3-18

(25) Barbara.
I am a barber as I watch her wake up in the barbers' chair. I
wonder about her dream. I wonder how far she has been gone in
her dream. How deep did she go? I make a conscious effort to
evaluate this. I look at her mood, her predisposition and I gauge
her as she slowly comes round. As she comes round sat in the
barbers' chair.

29-3-18

(26) To Find Our Place.

I am working my way to eight O'Clock in this room. There is a big
van that goes there in an hour or two. There is a big van that goes
there and it will do a lot of tidying up along the way. It will be
better when everything is a bit neater. This will sort everyone out
and it will put us all into place.

30-3-18

(27) My Silence.
They fall through the gaping holes in the road. I push one of them.
I find a convenient time. I tap his back foot from behind him as he
is walking along and as he trips up I push him hard on his back to
make sure that he falls. He grabs hold of another person as he is
falling down and they both fall down through the holes in this
road that they walk down.

This road is made up of circular aluminium grey discs that you can
stand on. Some of these circular discs are joined together, but in
between these discs is an emptiness where the road can swallow
you up. There are two people missing because of me and I tell no
one. There is an investigation into the disappearance of these two
missing people, but I keep my mouth shut. I keep my silence.

31-3-18

(28) Odd Behaviour.

Maz went out and she spent over £500 on a Chinese meal. Why
would she do that? It is not just that, she has done other things
too. She is my sister and my mum and dad look at me suspiciously,
as if for some reason it is my fault that she is out of order. She is
my younger sister but I am a child here too. I play on the front
garden. I do my forward rolls on the front lawn grass and as I do
my parents they watch me through the front glass window. I feel
their eyes of suspicion watching me. There is no crime in my
heart, but I am affected by all of their suspicions. My parents
constantly quiz. They look for answers. They search for reasons for
Maz's odd behaviour. Why would she do these things?
____________________________________________________

April 2018

____________________________________________________

(29) Check Me Out.

(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.
(31) Perfect Connection.
(32) Open Mic.
(33) I Laugh : O
(34) Move On.
(35) A Paper Chase.
(36) Up In The Galary.
(37) My Deception.
(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.
(39) I Do?
(40) Semi Retirement.
(41) Off Of His Head.
(42) Detraction.
(43) Hail The King!
(44) College Life.
(45) Disaster Hospital.
(46) May I Interject?
(47) A Spark In Her Hand.
(48) Heart Space.
(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.
(50) A Parody.
(51) Every Little Thing.
(52) Just Me.
(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*
(54) Move On ------>
(55) Such Depths.

1-4-18

(29) Check Me Out.

All because of Paxo I am well and truly stuffed. I go through this
feeling, a place where I can be.

I have to go and collect all spiritual matters. I feel the presence of

people all around me. I feel the presence of those spiritual
matters that find me and face me. I see a face look at me.

2-4-18

(30) A Little Wendy House And A Big Warehouse.

This house that I work in was once Wendy's house. I can tell that
by the way the hall way is that leads to the bedroom. That means
that we must be in the village of Billinghay.

I am chatting to this lass who is an estate agent. There is a lad with

glasses who told her to find my niece and nephew a decent house.
"Find them a cheap house." I heard the lad with glasses tell her
earlier. She tells me how cheeky the lad with glasses is and then
she asks me about my niece and nephew.

I find myself inside this big warehouse. I am walking along when a

big truck slams into a wall behind me and just misses me! I do not
know what these warehouse walls are made of but this truck has
just ricocheted off of this wall. And then another little green
dumpy lorry goes head on into this big warehouse wall. This lorry
just bounces back with a little jump in the air, stopped dead in its
tracks. There are some old blokes going crazy in this big
warehouse now. "They are going to kill themselves! They are
crazy!" I hear one of the old blokes exclaim as these blokes rally
around in response to these crazy drivers. I do not know what
these old blokes think that they can do. I am just in fear of my life
now as I walk back through this warehouse the way that I have
just been. I evaluate the safest route out whilst keeping a good
look out for any more rouge trucks that might run me over in this
big warehouse.

4-4-18

(31) Perfect Connection.

I am just following this lad as he is talking. His talking synchronises
perfectly with where we are at this time. How does he do that? I
follow him through the winding Devon roads, through city and
countryside alike. Up hills and along cliff tops his talking never
falters. It always matches the landscape. It always follows in
perfect connection.

A few years later and I have a PHD in the local arts.

6-4-18

(32) Open Mic.

I can hear a stoned version of the Tenacious D song 'Tribute.' Every
chord and every note is played to perfection. We just follow it
along and enjoy the ride, as we listen to Mitch sing this song. A
man so ill that he is barely alive. "Where are all the women?" We
ask ourselves. We need more women.
(33) I Laugh : O
There is a man with a brolly. (I laugh) "I know he has been doing
that all day. I do not know what he thinks he is doing!" Says a
voice from out of the clear of the blue.

For some reason it is funny. A man with a brolly brisk and gay
walking along with nothing to say. (I laugh) But I do not know why
that is funny, but it is.

(34) Move On.

We are on the beach and we are working out ways in which to
move on. We write a song, a verse and a chorus. We sing so strong
and we repeat, 'Move On!' In the pebbles and the stones and the
sand on the beach. We all move on and you know that can't be
wrong. In the sandiness of times. In the turning of the tide we
stick to our goals and we all move on, move on, move on.

7-4-18

(35) A Paper Chase.

I draw a gorilla that represents my mood. In black and white I
draw these pictures. Then I encounter this gorilla. In his
stealthiness he draws himself, a black and white gorilla drawing.
He leaves it out for me to find. Gorilla drawings lay around in all of
his different moods. So when you find a gorilla drawing then you
know he is close around. He is stealthy and quick on the draw, but
he cannot be found. In reality he is hidden and he does not make
a sound, but in his stealthiness he is telling you what's what. So
when you see that gorilla drawing letting out a raw. It is only a
drawing in black and white telling you what for.

GORILLA
<(o)> <(o)>
\/\-----------/\/

8-4-18

(36) Up In The Galary.

I am at Sharon Taylor's house with her and her mum. I keep doing
things wrong. I keep knocking things off. I keep knocking things
over. Sharon and her mum are very patient with me and they
make a joke out of my ineptitude.

I have some stuff in the fridge but I need a number code to get
into it. I notice that someone else puts the code into the fridge
and then they get inside. So I quickly glance at the fridge code that
is written on the inside of the open fridge door. I am aware that
this bloke is watching me. I know that he knows what I am doing
as I read off the number to myself, I am struggling to memorise
this long digit number.

I go to a meeting. Sharon says "You don't want to go there, it's

boring." I hear a woman behind me at this meeting and I hear her
talk passionately about her grades. I think to myself, 'It's for
people who think that qualifications matter.' But when I listen to
her she is just spouting off letters and numbers and grades that
she has got. It means nothing to me.

So I go off and I follow Sharon Taylor. "That's my work." Sharon

tells me pointing up to some paintings. "The big one's mine she
says proudly."

"That's your painting." I say surprised.

"Ssshhh!" She quickly responds. "No one's supposed to know

whose painting it is." I look at the painting of a big fat pig in mud.
Sharon Taylors name is not on the display, but she has a
pseudonym, so that no one knows who has done this painting.

"That's just typical of these times! Why can't people just paint and
show their work off and not put other names on their work?" I
spout off and I make my point passionately and with indignation.

I catch a glimpse of a twenty pack of three fives, state express,

(555). They are in a pocket in the side of my ruck sack bag and as I
am walking along I think to myself, 'I have not had a smoke in a
long time.' But then I remember my last smoke and it was not that
long ago really.

9-4-18

(37) My Deception.
We are setting up a disco function. I have got jobs to do, but I am
not sure what it is that they want me to do. I do not even know
who this do is for. I would not recognise him if I saw him.

There is a man walking around with one foot and a small hard hat
on. He looks like a shoe with a small hard hat on top. He gets
around though. I stop to talk to him for a while to see if I can get
any ideas of what I should be doing here. I tell him what he looks
like. His hard hat moves up and down when he talks to me. He
makes me smile.

There is a tall man in charge. He comes up to me and he speaks to

me, "If there is aggression within you then it will come out of
you." He tells me. "If someone has been opened up to violence
then that violence will come out. I am worried about Paul." The
man continues, "I think that he might have been opened up to
violence." The man nods over into Pauls direction as he speaks.
Paul is manning the bar serving drinks. I think to myself, 'He knows
about my behaviour. He knows that I have kicked off recently and
that is why he is telling me all this. It is the violence of my past
that as come out of me and he knows this.' I feel a little ashamed
of myself now, how I have let my bad behaviour creep in when I
get stressed out. I am not the placid man who I appear to be.

11-4-18

(38) Where The Rich And Famous Live.

I have this big car dryer. I go around drying cars. I go to famous
and rich peoples drive ways and dry their cars. I put the car dryer
above the car. The dryer is as big as the car and it just hovers
there. So as it hovers above the car it drys it. It is quite strange
because all of these rich peoples driveways are all next to each
other. It must be a district where only rich and famous people live.

There is a red motorbike that comes along and it advertises beds.

It has a side car on it and this side car is a bed with a mattress on
it. The motorbike rider is riding it up and down the curb stones.
The mattress on the side car bed jumps up and down every time
he hits curb stones. There is a clear plastic sheet blowing in the
draft off this matters, as he moves along this rich and famous
neighbourhood.

Next there is a herd of white hobbie horses who come out from
nowhere. Hundreds of them in and out of driveways. They migrate
across this neighbourhood with their white manes flopping
around as they move along and all the rich and famous people are
hiding well indoors, as this is all captured on television.

12-4-18

(39) I Do?
"I've got twelve lords a leaping!" I find myself saying.

"Are you alright?" I am asked from the ethereal beyond.

"No not really." I reply.

I have my towel around me and I am doing my best here. I am

singing you see. There is someone within me, a presence about
me, but I know not who they are. I have been deep within myself
and now I am up here as I sort myself out from a place so remote
that I am truly hard to find.

There could have been marriage, but how did it come to this, as I
stand on these green green lawns, I do. For she is the presence
about me, but I know not who she is and I know not why I am
here. I do NOT.

15-4-18
(40) Semi Retirement.
Hello I am Gary's carer. I work these odd hours in the dark winter
months so that I may be free for the summertime months to
come. I climb these steep Devon hills so that I may do my work
here. Just like I have always done so many times before. I sleep
these odd hours so that I may be free in the summer sunshine and
so that I may use those summer sunshine hours for myself. With
six months on and six months off. With full time work in the
winter and free time for the summer months to come. To be free
to do what I want to do. This is my personal retirement plan of
action for me.

(41) Off Of His Head.

He seems a bit wreckless. We chat for a while, as I fill in the diary. I
draw lines with a biro and sometimes I ink in between those lines
that I have drawn, as we chat. The plastic on the cover is coming
off of this diary. As we chat this man and I, I go along with him, all
that he says. But there is something about him that does not ring
true. I listen to him speak as I do the paperwork. As he talks
something is surely not right. He is a little off hand. A little out of
his head as he spouts off. I listen as he talks. So then we decide to
go out for a drive, but there is something about him that I am not
sure about, as I fill in the diary with my biro between the lines that
I have drawn. As I colour in with my ink pen, as I think then, 'This
man is off of his head.'

(42) Detraction.
I demonstrate something to Andy that is mathematical in nature.
But it soon becomes clear that I am number blind. I cannot do the
arithmetic. I take too long working out the numbers. I struggle
with the numbers and this is an embarrassment to me you see.
This is what undermines my credibility. This is what detracts
people from listening to me. This is what detracts people from
acknowledging what I have to say. But I know. I know what I mean,
even if that is not how it would seem.

Floating Base Arithmetic:

floating base b is equal to the highest digit in a number plus one.

Therefore the floating base of the following numbers are:

12 ---> base b=3 ---> 5base10

673 ---> base b=8 ---> 443base10
10 ---> base b=2 ---> 2base10
8765544321 ---> base b=9 ---> 3432370645base10

So an example of using floating base in arithmetic:

12 + 14 = (1x3^1 + 2x3^0) + (1x5^1 + 4x5^0) = 5 + 9

= 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E
There are five possible solutions: 1110 or 112 or 32 or 24 or E in
bases 2,3,4,5 and F (base 15) respectively.

22 in base 6 would be a correct answer but because 2 is the

highest digit, this answer is in base 3 using the rules for floating
base arithmetic and so it is an incorrect floating base answer.
All possible floating base numbers from 0 to 15:

n
0|0
1|1
2 | 10, 2
3 | 11, 3
4 | 100, 4
5 | 101, 12, 5
6 | 110, 20, 6
7 | 111, 21, 13, 7
8 | 1000, 22, 8
9 | 1001, 14, 9
10 |1010, A
11 |1011, 102, 23, 15, B
12 |1100, 30, C
13 |1101, 31, 16, D
14 |1110, 112, 32, 24, E
15 |1111, 120, 33, 17, F
---------------------------------------------
| P1 Pn, P4, P3, P2

Patterns That Form From Possible Floating Base Numbers:

* First pattern P1:

(binary pattern).
Every number n can be represented as a floating base number in
binary (base 2).

* Second Pattern P2:

(nth number pattern in base n+1).
Every number n can be represented as a single digit in base n+1.

* Third Pattern P3:

(1a in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where 2a+1=n, therefore n is an odd number when n is
equal to or greater than 5.

* Fourth Pattern P4:

(ax in base (a+1) pattern).
This is where x+2a+2=n.

* nth Pattern Pn:

There are other patterns yet to be defined at higher values of n.

TO BE CONTINUED

16-4-18

(43) Hail The King!

Apparently, he is a Scottish king and for some reason I get away
with a lot of things, so I am told, but I am careful not to push him
too far. I do not like to get too embroiled in the politics here.

"It is neem to be here."

I introduce the king's word here. I know that it is his word and that
is why have said it. Maybe it will give me some much needed luck.

I am told by two guards what to do, They try to push me around,

but I am cocky. I know the king you see and so they do not push
me too far. I know the king and so I am privileged in this king's
company.
17-4-18

(44) College Life.

I am at college here, but I do not really feel that I fit in. I feel a
little awkward as I walk around this building. In the library I try to
find something of interest. I just meander around this college. I
see a woman, she looks nice, but she talks about her husband and
I reflect on the fact that I am single as I listen to her conversation
with someone who I do not know. In the library there is a lad
there who is quite vocal and he speaks to me about something or
other, then another lad tells him to shut up. I feel a little awkward
again. I just give the lads a wry smile. I have known these lads for a
few years now, but it is not like I grew up with them. I have a quick
glance out of a college window that shines the brightness of the
day through it as I walk past it and I reflect on my aspie ways: The
way that I only half fit in here, the awkwardness with which I
approach those people who are around me, but 'hay ho!' That is
the college life that I have here and that is just the way that it is.

20-4-18

(45) Disaster Hospital.

I am sent into a hospital to clean it up. Everyone in this hospital
has been pulverised. Apparently everyone in this hospital has
been sucked up into the ventilation system before being released
as a sloppy mangled human mess on the floor. It is eary here. I
came into this hospital on my own but since then I have met up
with two women to help me clean this mess up. So as we clean up
the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor, I listen to them
talk. They talk about ethnicity. They talk about a small area of the
world, a small population. I do not hear everything that they say
but I do hear them mention Bahrain. They say that it is just one
small area in the world that is causing so much trouble. I am just
listening and I am not sure about what they are saying. I just clean
up the sloppy human remains on this hospital floor and I listen to
them talk.

21-4-18

(46) May I Interject?

There is an injection that I have to give, but I am unsure. All the
medical paperwork regarding this has to be removed and then
replaced with new medical paperwork that shows dates and
signatures, but I am not confident about changing this paperwork.
The paperwork is thick like a book with many pages and it is this
that I am unsure about. I go over and over it in my mind's eye, but
there is something not right here.

22-4-18

(47) A Spark In Her Hand.

I have travelled so many miles across this land and now I am here
to put everything into this laundry. To put everything into this big
industrial steam train of a wash. On the tracks of this big old
railway wash. The children's clothes are all laid out in a line as
they go through this process and I notice a little trick. I notice a
woman she has hidden beneath some old clothes, something of
importance that she does not want me to see. In the blink of an
eye she takes from beneath a pile of these old clothes something
of importance you see. As quick as a flash, like a spark in her hand
she lights up hope in the dark. I just sit there all still on my perch
on a hill as I watch in the night and her flash of bright light. As she
reveals to me a spark in her hand and I pretend not to notice you
see.

(48) Heart Space.

Our politicians are homeless. They have no home in Westminster.
Our politicians have been bought out. Parliament has sold out.
You only have to look at the records to know that this is true.

There has been discussions, but I do not know what has been said.
This corruption is all pervasive and I can see just how it has
spread. Democracy does not work you see. It will split your
country apart. We should all find another way and make it from
the heart. <3

24-4-18

(49) Aquasitions Of Wealth And A Guilty Pleasure Of Mine.

I am playing a game and it is all done through the post office.
There are little square peices of paper with writing on that you can
get from the post office. The writing on these little pieces of paper
explain what each little piece of paper is worth. With some you
may be able to collect money and with others you get money off
of a purchase in a shop. It all varies.

I get my hands on a pot full of these little square pieces of paper.

There is a lot of competition between people to aquire these little
pieces of paper and I am in a pot full of them. I am going through
these little peces of paper deciding which ones are valuable and
which of these I will take, but there are people around me who
want to delve pot too. So quickly I take some of the best little
pieces of paper. Those that are most valuable and then I pass the
pot along.

Later I find this card all wrapped in clear plastic and inside there is
a sticky and sweet pastry with sultanas, nuts and raisens. I do not
know whose this is but I take a bite as I slide this pastry through
the plastic and the card and it is sweet and nice. As I walk around
this room full of people eating this pastry I wonder whose pastry I
am eating. I hope that no one will notice so I quickly take another
big bite of this pastry and it is delicious, but it is not mine so
quickly I scoff it all, crinkleing the noisy plastic packaging and this
is my guilt pleasure. I have taken from someone but I know not
who. This pastry has been so nice. It was something that I just had
to do. I place the empty cardboard packaging between two books
on a bookcase hoping that no one will ever know just what I have
done.

25-4-18

(50) A Parody.
I am walking around this place with some other people. We have
got this frame to put together. These hollow aluminium tubes just
slot together. We are finding these pieces to slot together on the
ground all over this place, as we wander and we search and we
work out just exactly which bit slots into which bit.

Everything is leading to a show that we are all in. This show

involves 1970's punk rock music from back in the day. There is a
sexy female involved and she is lovely. She is visually stunning in
her sexy underwear.
Someone has just said that they are going to put on the same
show with a low budget. It will be very much similar to the proper
show except that there is no lovely sexy female. He says that there
will be just himself masterbating to the Sham 69 song 'Hurry Up
Harry.' And he starts to sing this song: "Hurry up Harry come on!"

27-4-18

(51) Every Little Thing.

I am raging. Every little thing that gets me, gets me angry. All the
little things that add up. The people who taunt me. They attack
me for my ways and they surprise me. Jackie she turns on me. She
does not like my ways. I say something and she attacks me. I really
try to keep my cool, but then I blow. I lose my patience. I shout
back. I follow Jackie in an old church building. I tell her, "get lost!" I
show her a different way out of this old church building. She really
makes me mad.

The roof is held up with wooden beams and they are lose. I try to
fix them, but I make things worse and then my dad tells me, "Do
not do that!" And I blow. I lose it.

"Well you sort it out then!" I yell out loud because I am angry.
"You fix the roof!" I rage out loud as the roof comes tumbling
down and there is anger at the slightest thing, but that is me.

I know that these people are good people, but they get me so
fucking mad! With my dad and Jackie, I lose it, I blow my fucking
top! I do not mean to rage so hard, but once I start I cannot stop.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh!"
(52) Just Me.
We live on a pool. We float around on lilos. I like to avoid
everything that I can. I laze around on my lilo floating around. If I
hear someone around, I kick off on the sides of this pool and I
float away. This pool is so big. It is massive you see. I listen around
to what is going on. I hear the other people talking in the distance.
They float on afar and I avoid them. It is just my lilo and I floating
around on this pool. Alone on these waters it feels so cool. I am
free you see. Alone on these waters it is just me. I am remote and
afloat and this is how I like it to be. Just me to float and be free.
Just me, you see.

(53) *Little Miss Ditsy*

How has she gotten herself into that position? She is driving her
car and she has done a strange manouver. She has found herself
facing the wrong way. She is stuck at the traffic lights. She
reversed her car when the traffic lights went red and now she is
facing the wrong way. I see her looking in her wing mirror for the
traffic lights to change. She and her car is facing the car that has
pulled up behind her. How embarrassing! Little miss ditsy is arse
about face at the junction : ) Sometimes she gets herself in the
wrong, but I love her so much. <3

*Little Miss Ditsy*

How has she gotten herself

into that position?
She is driving her car
and she has done a strange manouver.
She has found herself
 facing the wrong way.

She is stuck at the traffic lights.

She reversed her car
when the traffic lights went red
and now she is facing the wrong way.
I see her looking in her wing mirror
for the traffic lights to change.

She and her car is facing the car

that has pulled up behind her.
How embarrassing!
Little miss ditsy
is arse about face at the junction : )
Sometimes she gets herself in the wrong,
but I love her so much. <3

28-4-18

(54) Move On ------>

I am waiting in time to write down my experience. To write up
how all the energies have been:

I get a sense of a French female dressed all in pink. She has long
curly platinum blonde hair. She is quite old and she has a little
dog. I take my turn to move on from her life. I fill out my report for
the next soul to come along. For the next soul to work from my
place. To fill out my space with new energies. To breath life into
this poor girls blue life as we awaken her spirit along. ----->
 Nothing Left To Say.

There's a river running free

down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain

that it washes me away,
dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

I try to make a speech,

but I stand here so cold and wet.
I stumble over words
I cannot get there yet.

My silence condemns me.

It makes me look a fool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb."
As I drown here in this pool.
They say,
"That mute boy he's so dumb.
He's just another fool."

But, there's a river running free

down to the salty sea.
There are puddles in my mind,
my thoughts I cannot find.

There's so much rain

that it washes me away,
 dilutes my brain
until I've nothing left to say.

29-4-18

(55) Such Depths.

All of my dreams join up on the opposite side of the road from the
sea. Like a pencil scribble joining dots to dots. So this is my way
within mathematical less ness.

There is so much more to this, but its meaninglessness has

superseded its abstraction into forgetfulness. I find myself at a loss
to explain. I find that I have lost a part of myself to an
incomprehensible spaceless, timeless abstraction. Such is the
depths of this consciousness.

The astral is a spaceless mathematical less ness. This is where Art

becomes the medium. This is where Science becomes lost
because there is no measurement.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A Mathematical Space:
Through me, a new space is created. Within mathematics through
me, a new space is created from the Art of that spaceless
mathematical less ness of astral intelligence.

A Trisquare.
A trisquare is a shape within a space, but that space is not the
same as physical space. A trisquare is a shape within two
dimensions within this 'new space shape' that does not mirror a
two dimensional physical space, because it has different
properties. A trisquare has some of the properties of a triangle,
square and circle.

Trisquare Properties.
A trisquare has three sides with three internal angles. Each of
these angles is a square angle. The distance from each vertex to its
opposite side is equal in length all along the line of that opposite
side and so a trisquare has the properties of a triangle, square and
circle respectively.

A Hexcircle.
The picture below is a representation of a hexcircle. The hexcircle
is not in the realm of this space and so this is just an approximate
representation. In this new space a circle and a hexagon is the
same shape and so we get the hexcircle.
A hexcircle is a circle made up of six trisquares. It is a circle with six
square internal angles. It is a circle with a circumference with a
length six times the radius. It is a circle with an area six times that
of its trisquare.

And so a new geometry begins.

The square and square root of a trisquare in this new two

dimensional space is similar to the square and square root of a
square in a standard two dimensional space.
The picture above shows that a trisquare with side length of two is
made up of four smaller trisquares. This gives an arithmetic that is
the same as with geometry in standard space. If the side length of
a trisquare is x then its area is equal to x squared.

The above picture could equally be of a trisquare with sides of one

that are split into two halves. This gives a model of a geometry in
rational space. In this case where x equals one half then x squared
equals one quarter which makes sense.

Below is a pictorial representation of a two dimensional space of

hexcircles made up of six trisquares that use the new
mathematical space that has been explained above which is a
different mathematical space to that of standard two dimensional
space.
'New Space Geometry' Is Elliptic.
Area A of a hexcircle has the formula six times the radius squared,
A=6r^2. The circumference C of a hexcircle has the formula six
times the radius, C=6r. If we work out C/A then we get C/A=1/r.
This is the ratio of circumference to area and determines how new
space geometry lies on the spectrum of geometrical spaces
between hyperbolic and elliptic.

Comparing the above with a circle in standard space geometry

then we get: The circumference of a circle divided by the area of a
circle = C/A = 2/r. Therefore we find that new space geometry is a
more elliptic geometrical space than standard space geometry.

If we say that standard space geometry (physical space geometry)

is parabolic which is exactly between hyperbolic and elliptic on the
spectrum of geometrical spaces then we have something to work
from.

The motivation behind creating new space geometry is to invent a

geometry that does not use pi. The theory here is that pi is a value
that is related to physical space and what I have termed standard
geometry. The theory is that pi is only important because we have
based our mathematics on the properties of physical space.

____________________________________________________

May 2018

____________________________________________________

(56) A Difference.
(57) How Dare He?
(58) Twat!
(59) The Happy Threesome.
(60) Chippy Sets The Table.
(61) Condemn Nation.
(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.
(63) All Wired Up.
(64) An Accept Of Time.
(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.
(66) A Bed Of Onions.
(67) Beer Here.
(68) My Lost Guitar.
(69) Looking For You.
(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?
(71) What To Do In Looe.
(72) Not A Full Chess Set.
(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.
(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.
(75) Busker Adi.
(76) How To Feed Your Head.
(77) My Standards.
(78) Hanging Around.
(79) So Thoughtful.
(80) Deep Blue Baby.
(81) I Make Myself Known.
(82) A Beautiful Old Song.
(83) I Wait In Expectation.
(84) What Does She Want From Me?
(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
(87) So Sure.
(88) Careful With What I Do.
(89) Very Becoming.
(90) Just A Jacket.
(91) Parked Up And Speeding.
(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.
(93) A Default.
(94) Reflections Of A Man.
(95) People! Pee Pole!
(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.
(97) An Astrological Skyscape.
(98) Travel Disruptions.
(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.
(100) Secrecies And Lies.

1-5-18

(56) A Difference.
I see a woman with a bag around her neck. She is middle aged and
she walks right up to me. With her straight face she looks straight
into my eyes and she tells me, "I don't even know what you are
talking about!" This shocks me. There is serious concern on her
face. She reminds me of a woman that I used to know. She is
familiar although I have never seen her before, because she is
similar to this other woman, but there is a difference. It is this
difference that makes me question myself. Who is she? Am I being
mistaken?

2-5-18

(57) How Dare He?

I am living in a caravan, I have decided to fill the caravan with
toilet paper. Set it on fire to make a claim for this caravan. I tell
Roger Hales about this. I tell him exactly what I plan to do.

Later I get investigated, oddly enough by my doctor. For some

reason it is the doctor who I have to answer to. My caravan gets
raided. All the burning toilet paper gets discarded before the
caravan gets chance to catch fire and I have to answer a few
questions from the doctor. I am worried that my family will find
out about my plan to set my caravan on fire, so I make up some
excuses. I explain that it was a medical reason for all that toilet
paper in my caravan. The doctor questions me about the
medication that I am on. So I tell him about that. I think that I am
going to be okay. I feel that my alibi is working.

Later I see Roger Hales and Mick Benton. Mick says to me, "You
should not have told Roger Hales about your plans."

I look to Roger and I say, "Roger would never grass on me."

Mick replies in an instant, "Well he did." I look at Roger again. He
is silent. He does not look at me. He is looking down in shame and
he sort of shrugs his shoulders. I guess that he must feel some
responsibility. I search within myself about his actions. I did not
think that he would do that. I thought that I could trust him. He
snitched on me.

"He's a snitch!" I exclaim in disgust.

(58) Twat!
There is a big fuss about whether I bit someone. I was singing and
then they put their finger in my mouth. I was singing 'Nice And
Sleazy.' I had my eyes closed. How did I know that they were going
to put their finger in my mouth? I am told that they have it all on
video. That it has all been recorded. They have the evidence. They
do not let it go. They just keep on about it. So I lose it. I ram my
fist down this lads throat. I twat him. "You see! It's not nice is it!" I
yell, as I make my point and things really heat up then!

3-5-18

(59) The Happy Threesome.

There is a couple here on the beach. They really need some help,
some bloke and his woman. I do not get involved. I have been
asked to help them, but I have stalled. I have found my way
around this, I have found the way out of the burden of this
control. There are those around me who seem disappointed with
my lack of enthusiasm to help the couple. Some people seem
disgruntled at my decision not to help this couple. I find out that
there is a man who is willing to marry this couple in order to help
them. What sort of marriage will that be? And how is that going to
work? Now that is devotion to a friendship!

(60) Chippy Sets The Table.

There is a table without its table top. There is just two aluminium
legs that are bolted into the floor. They stick out of the ground
proud and straight. Each leg has had its rectangular table top
removed. These two rectangular table tops used to butt up to
each other to make a square table top of two halves in separation,
but now the new table top will be a square one piece block of
wood. It will fit onto the two aluminium legs that are bolted
upright into the ground. This represents all as one, in this cafe of
delightfulness. At this table this will represent where we will all sit
around, where we will all eat from and where we will all become
one.

4-5-18

(61) Condemn Nation.

I represent for a scientist in a court of law. I really do not know
what I am doing here. I am just feeling my way around. I am too
unsure on what to say and what to do. As far as I know there has
been no crime committed as we tenuously make our way through
this court of law. Mark Reynolds and myself we sometimes feel
that we need justification as we represent ourselves in this crazy
world. This crazy court of law that points its finger and judges us
for who we are. In this room of light oak panels of respectability
that hands out with its gavel, its verdicts of guilt and its bias
pomposities for the big wigs, for the big wigs who feel that they
are in charge of us all and in charge of this world that we all live in.
We talk politics and it talks back down to us, because this is the
type of world that we live in.

(62) The Sarsahr, They See Me In Astral.

I am outside with hundreds of these people, all milling around me.
This is not my neighbourhood. I am stood on a path. My pushbike
is stood in the roadside gutter with its peddle holding the
pushbike up as it rests on the curbstone and all these people are
around me.

There is one man who is ordered to explain why he believes in

extraterrestrial and what evidence he has for this. I see him get
into his stride. I see him walk up and he shouts:

"Number one, all these unidentified flying objects that have been
identified. Number two, all the crazies. (I know that he means the
Grey aliens who abduct people here.) Number three ... "

And he goes on. I know that this is just a preliminary explanation

for the time being, but there will be a full and extensive report in
due course from this man.

I am walking off. I go to cross the road when I am aware of a big

red double decker bus to the right of me indicating to turn around
this corner that I am stood on, but some people to the left of me
carry on walking. They do not stop. They step out into the road
and they cross the road. Then the bus does an unlikely bus
manoeuvre to avoid those people who cross the road. The bus
glides sideways and up this building wall along the roof top and
then up over this roof top and across. "Wow!" I am astounded.
That is one crazy manoeuvre and I am quite impressed.

My intention here is to attract in Astral a Sarsahr woman and to

eventually have a relationship with a beautiful Sarsahr woman in
Astral.

5-5-18

(63) All Wired Up.

For some reason I am doing a gig with the Gallagher brothers. I
have my Oasis song to play as I get kitted out to go down a wire
onto stage. I will fly onto stage and this is how it is all set up. It is
all in the preparation, how we get to deliver this music, as we go
through our safety checks and we get the thumbs up. So this is my
moment.

6-5-18

(64) An Accept Of Time.

We are looking to get into Gary's TV/Computer, but there is a
problem. We have waited too long to do this and so now we
cannot access it. You see the length of this time does not bend. It
is like a long plank of wood that will not fit through doorways.

There is someone's sister who I am aware of, who might be able to

help us. I do not know whose sister she is though. I am aware of
her with regards to this wooden shed that I find myself in. It is a
new shed made from nice clean timber. There are bendy white
fibre glass like rods stored in here. They stretch from the bottom
left hand corner up to the top right corner of this nice new
wooden shed.

My boss Doug asks me for the remote control. I am puzzled as to

which remote control that he wants because there are several
remotes to choose from. Doug points to the one that he wants
and he tells me that the access number is 1966 as I pass him the
remote and he puts in these numbers for access into Gary's
TV/Computer. Unfortunately we have left the length of this time
for too long and this time does not bend. So at this time we are
stuck in this moment, unable to move forward. Which is a bit of a
nuisance really, but there is nothing that we can do about this. So
we must accept this for the time being.

(65) I Take To Relieve My Senses.

The teacher in the classroom, she is beginning to get annoyed, but
now I need a pee and although I nervously stutter, I ask her as
nicely as I can. I say to her, "I know it's a bad time b b b but, but
can I go to the toilet?"

"No" The teacher replies to confirm her mardy mood as she stares
back at me. "Go on then!" She says finding her better judgement
as begrudgingly she changes her mind.

I go into a place that is usually out of bounds. I find a toilet that is

so old. I am thinking that this is where the teachers go. There is
Victorian plumbing with its old style fixtures. This toilet takes me
back. It takes me back in time. I am peeing in the past and I look
around in marvel as I take a piss.

So then I am looking for my classroom , but I do not know which

room I am in. I do not know where I am meant to be. There is a
student who keeps talking to me. He keeps telling me things that I
do not need to know.

I cannot get away from all these teachers. They follow me around,
all over. They follow me throughout this school. As soon as I think
that I have lost a teacher another one pops its ugly head up out
from nowhere places.

I go into this classroom and a teacher starts to talk to me. I want

to get away but he follows me. Like the video game 'Pac Man' he
follows me around. He is very flat and pixilated. For some strange
reason he is drinking from a goblet. Through a maze of tables and
chairs I try to give this man the slip, but he takes a short cut and
blocks me off. "I can teach you at the weekend." He tells me. That
is all I frigging need! Then suddenly I find a door and I find a way
to leave.

8-5-18

(66) A Bed Of Onions.

I go and hang out with two single women who I used to know in
an old job of mine, at least they were single then, but neither of
them are single now. I am single now, but I was not back then and
this is how things have changed.

I chat to these two girls about being single. About how I would
rather not be single. I would much prefer to be in a healthy, happy
relationship. As we chat I find some carrots under my bed. Should
I prepare these carrots? I assume that maybe I should. I find a
knife and a bowl of water under my bed also. I guess that maybe
my mum and dad have put these things under my bed. I really do
not mind that my parents have put carrots under my bed and I
inform the two single ladies about this. It is then that I notice
boxes that are full of packets of small onions under my bed or
maybe they are packets of garlic. Some of these packets have
been opened. For obvious reasons I am concerned about opened
packets of onions being under my bed. This is not good!

9-5-18

(67) Beer Here.

Alphie is nice. He is a friendly local in these pubs of Devon. I first
met him at Sidmouth by the river of Sid. A man of this county with
his love of drink, he continues in the traditions of Beer. He
continues to wash himself down by the river and sea. He says that
he has enough money to last him till he dies. Providing that he
dies at two O'Clock, you see. He gets some people to go on a boat.
He deals in liquor and mackerel to keep himself afloat. Here on
this Jurassic coast, here in this fishy seaside town of Beer.

(68) My Lost Guitar.

I suddenly realise that I am without my guitar. I am not too
worried for now. I am sure that it will show up. Casually I retrace
my steps. Where could I have put it? I have lost my guitar. There
are two music groups that I have been to and I am looking around
to see if I can see my guitar anywhere. It must be around here
somewhere. I see Evo. I ask him if he has seen my guitar but he
cannot help me.

So, I go to the other music group. I casually open the door. I can
hear the people inside making their music. As I go through this
door to this music group there are some closed curtains. I peer
around through these curtains to see if I can make my way inside
to search for my lost guitar. There is a girl here that I used to know.
I can feel her presence, but I am looking for my guitar and I cannot
find it anywhere. I think back to where I have been. Someone says
that they think that I have left my guitar between two beds, but I
cannot see my guitar anywhere. There are other guitars in cases. I
open up these cases but I do not find my guitar.

I have Evo's guitar now, but it has no frets. This guitar is so odd.
The neck is too long and there are some gubbins on this neck and I
do not know what they do. I wish that I could find my guitar.

10-5-18

(69) Looking For You.

I come out of the red rocks and I improvise my talk into the bluish
grey rocks that I find. I come out with things to say. Those rocks
they guide me with their intrinsic colours. Sharon she helps me
with an enthusiastic smile.

I read into the emptiness and I find my words with care. I feel the
emptiness, I fill up with conscious awareness, a dareness that I
find from beyond my mind. To the depths of my soul from the
heart of my kindness. I love this challenge that comes out of a
blindness and creates from the necessity of a concise inciteness.
My visions of my love for you.

11-5-18

(70) A New Consciousness, Or Just Plain Madness?

We all make music and we do not all agree as to the direction of
our music. I have been away but I am back now. I feel my way back
into this group of musicians. I feel the disagreements. Sometimes
it feels so uneasy, but I work my way on through.

I have been away a while and there are boiled sweets stuck to the
duvet on my bed. I guess that people have taken these sweets out
of their mouths and then miss thrown them onto my bed. I tell the
people not to do that. I insist that they make amends. There is a
bin for rubbish and it is not my bed as I tidy up around.

I am walking down the road and I see shapes in the sky. Shades of
light grey squares rotate and fold. This is all subjective I know. We
create our own reality. Is this a greater reality or am I just plain
mad? I feel my way into my future, into somewhere where I have
never been before.

I see more shapes now. These shapes they make up humanoid

figures. They walk among us like translucent robots. I walk
through these translucent like robots as if I am collecting points in
a video game. It changes my perception. This sacred geometry is
working through my mind. Reality is shifting to somewhere so
profound. My existence is moving on as I break new ground. I have
found a new consciousness, or maybe this is just plain madness
that is moving all around me, that moves me on in time.

12-5-18

(71) What To Do In Looe.

I get a feel for Cornwall and its remoteness. I get a feel for the
narrow roads and the old buildings that frequent on hillsides. I
need to use the toilet. There is a geometry here. There is a
triangle above the toilet doorway and this triangle is as wide as
the doorway itself, as it lies on its hypotenuse above the doorway.
Its right angle points up into the sky and this triangle has an
engraved ridge within its edges, giving the appearance of a
triangle within a triangle. This is at a place by the sea called Looe.
(Pronounced Loo) And I have a day in Looe.

(72) Not A Full Chess Set.

I have got myself stuck under this rail. I thought that I could
squeeze under it on my back, but now I am stuck here. It is dark
outside now and I need help, like quick! I panic a little at my
restricted position. I think that Bob will shed some light on this
situation.

I have just been shopping. I think that I have got a chocolate chess
set now. I am not sure if it is a chess set because the chess pieces
are all represented by different things. I think that the pawn
pieces are shaped like sperm and I have been wondering what the
other chess pieces are represented by with their wondrous
shapes. There are white chocolate and milk chocolate pieces in
this box packaging and I have bought one box out of curiosity.
Well the thing is that one chocolate chess piece had fallen out of
its box packaging in the shop and so I ate it. So as I am stuck here
under this rail hoping that Bob will help me to get free soon, I am
also concerned that I have not got a full chess set.

14-5-18

(73) That Trick Shot Is Not Interesting Anymore.

There is this bloke doing a trick shot on a pool table. I am watching
him with my dad. In flash frames of a camera vision that I have,
the balls move around the table. This bloke who does these trick
shots tells us where he is going to put the white cue ball after his
shot. With so much back spin on the cue ball the cue ball goes to
where this bloke says. In one frame shot the green baize on the
pool table has gone completely. There is just a rough dark brown
terrain of pit marks and holes in the table. Then things get
ridiculous:

We go outside into the carpark/driveway and this bloke does his

trick shots on this carpark/driveway around a little roundabout
flower bed that is in the middle of this carpark/driveway. My dad
gives me a whistle. He tells me to blow this whistle to get things
started. "I'm a whistleblower" I say enthusiastically just before I
blow the whistle and then after I blow the whistle, with speed,
this bloke runs around the carpark/driveway, around the
roundabout flowerbed with his cue knocking his white cue ball
along as he is running, but then it starts to get a bit boring, I start
to lose interest after that. Suddenly these trick shots do not do
anything for me.

15-5-18

(74) Troubled Colin And The Dick Song.

I have got this rude song. It has got into the charts and I am
supposed to be singing it around peoples houses. I am supposed
to go up to peoples front door and sing it with my dick out.

I go over to the Batkin's house. Those neighbours across the road,

but for some reason I cannot do it. So then I look for a safe place
to sing this song with my dick out. A place maybe behind a bush,
where no one else will find me. So then I go over to this
overgrown waste ground when I see Colin working on a path with
big grey slabs. He is busy buffing these slabs up with a buffing
machine. Without looking up Colin says to me, "Can you give it a
shave?"

"What the path?" I ask back and I start to laugh. "Have you been
working too hard?" I joke with him. With that he realises that it is
me. He carries on working busily and he says,

"I'm up for manslaughter" I can see that he is obviously concerned

about this.

"Don't worry about it" I reassure him thinking to myself silently

that this is typical of Colin and that he is always getting himself
into trouble.

The Dick Song

My dick is hanging out

And I'm shaking it about.
I don't know what they think,
But I give the girls a wink.

My dick is hanging out

I sing and then I shout:
"I like to wave it in the air
Cos I don't fucking care!"

My dick is hanging out

For that there is no doubt.
I wiggle it around
Until I am found.
Cos I don't fucking care
 It's just another dare,
But I am really sound
And I am fucking found.

My dick is hanging out

My dick is hanging out
My dick is hanging out!

16-5-18

(75) Busker Adi.

I use my own equipment to travel around here in this beautiful
county of Devon. I use my own equipment to sing and to play
guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of Devon.

And I meet those people who greet me. They make my work so
good. As we interact we have so much to say. As we all go about
our way with a pick in my hand and a guitar to play. Making my
music in this merry month of May.

Yes, I use my own equipment to travel around here in this

beautiful county of Devon. Yes, I use my own equipment to sing
and to play guitar in the streets of the towns here in this shire of
Devon.

(76) How To Feed Your Head.

I am given some eating out advice, of what to eat and what not to
eat from someone in the know, potatoes veg and gravy. We work
out a deal and I take notes. I am always ready to receive good
advice. There is more to this than that, but it has all gone right out
of my head. There is more to this than that, but for the life of me I
cannot remember just exactly what has been said.

(77) My Standards.
She does not know how to use apostrophes. I would not want a
girl like that. I would feel like a care worker for someone with L.D.
(learning disabilities) I would like a girl who's special, but she'd
have to know a lot. I need to find a girl who can stimulate my
mind. If she's useless at grammar then she's probably not for me
and if she cannot spell, well then she's certainly not for me. I need
to have my standards. I do not wish to be unkind. So it's not
surprising that I'm single and that girl I cannot find.

17-5-18

(78) Hanging Around.

She is an old pro. She is always on stage. In her best South West
accent she enters into banter with the compare. She is kind of
used to this by now. I do not know exactly what she says, but she
is confident. Her replies are well paced and I sense that this is all
great fun to her.

I am chatting with Dave and he says that he has been locked out.
"I told you that earlier. I've told everyone that. No one ever
listens." He goes on to tell me in a slightly pissed off sort of way.
'So what am I supposed to do then?' I think to myself and
subsequently I do nothing. I just hang around doing nothing.

I sense that there is a cat around here somewhere and I believe

that it is a ginger tom. For some inexplicable reason, although I
cannot see it, I can feel the presence of this cat. I think that it
must be hiding from me somewhere, but I do not know why.

(79) So Thoughtful.
There is this woman with children and a lion. "Why do you choose
to have a lion around your children?" I ask her curiously.

"It's my job." She replies. "Have you never worked with lions
yourself?" She enquires.

"Yes I have, but I am always so unsure about how safe a lion is,
because sometimes when they appear a little restless. If they were
to attack you then it would be too late, you would not stand a
chance." I tell her all this out of concern for her and her children.

I have recently been watching her and her children jumping

around, up in the air, in her front garden. I notice that the lion has
gone. 'How much better is that? How much safer are we all now?
And what a welcome relief that is!' And so these are my thoughts.

(80) Deep Blue Baby.

Under my watchful eye these infants are looked after. In the
reflection of this white sunlight. In their little buggies they become
blue as we walk these reflective city streets. I paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. I paint
these infants blue just like I have done before. It is the responsible
thing for me to do , for that I am quite sure.

In this reflective city it is all so brilliant and white, as the sun

reflects off this city a brilliant sort of light. We paint these infants
as it gives them some protection from this big old sun. We paint
these infants blue just like we have done before. It is the
responsible thing for us to do , for that we are quite sure. In this
reflective city that is what this blue paint is for.

18-5-18

(81) I Make Myself Known.

Philip Duffy is as confident as ever, but one morning his parents do
not get him up for school. He has to get himself up on this
particular day.

For some reason I make out that I do not know Philip. We never
speak much anyway, but this particular day I make the effort to tell
him that I do not know him, "Who are you?" I ask him.

There is this big chunky wooden pole that stands proud out of this
concrete ground. I give it a good bashing and it shudders in the
ground and becomes loose. I knock it to the foundations just as I
get into Philips way. I do not make allowances for him and he has
to avoid me or I will knock into him as I extend my presence, as I
get in his way. He WILL know that I am here!

(82) A Beautiful Old Song.

We are all there my family and I. Someone puts on a recording of
a David Bowie album, but this one is special. There is the
recording of someone else since deceased on this Bowie album. In
a song so sociable, in a sound so sincere, as we get those 70's
feelings about the past that has gone so far away. The essence
that this song captures is in a strikingly beautiful way. And so it
takes us back, my family and I, as we get down into those times
that have since gone by. Captured in a song is a mood that only
dreams could ever find, with all those beautiful old feelings that
people leave behind. And so we leave it there with the love of my
past. Listening to nostalgia of a time that went so fast.

19-5-18

(83) I Wait In Expectation.

Although I sing from a bus stop, I lie here so low. Someone else
took off and I do not want them to show. There will be danger if
we ever meet. So I lie here in a shelter, hidden on this street. I
expect they may return as I lie here so still. Deep in these dark
shadows I am ready to kill!

I Wait In Expectation.

Although I sing from a bus stop,

I lie here so low.
Someone else took off
and I do not want them to show.
There will be danger
if we ever meet.
So I lie here in a shelter,
hidden on this street.
I expect they may return
as I lie here so still.
Deep in these dark shadows
I am ready to kill!

(84) What Does She Want From Me?

I am waiting for a good time to meet up under a hole in the sky,
when it all comes together. I try to work it out like that, but it does
not always come true.

I am driving home late at night and in my mirror I see a Rolls Royce

behind me. It is black and white and it has a big shiny chrome grill
in the front. I turn into my home lane and it catches me up. When
a man and a black lady dressed in fine cloth jumps out of this car.
She says that she would like to see me when it is convenient to
meet up. So I tell her that I will hang around tomorrow for when
she is free, as I am intrigued to find out just what this woman
wants from me.

20-5-18

(85) Access And Joy From The Elder.

I am here with Sharon Taylor. There is so much trouble. Things do
not go to plan in this care environment. There are people pulling
rank. I make my case:

"Look, I act to the best of my ability. There is no crime in my heart.

I have only ever acted out for the best. For the best interests. I
have acted out, out of love. If you want to shop me then go ahead.
If you want to make a case against me then go ahead, but I will
fight this all the way!"

This outburst of a speech seems to quell things a little. The

accusations against me appear to be somewhat quoshed, but
dispite this there are still problems.
I find myself in a room. It is the room of the green triangular
wallpaper and the flashing bright white light. My vision is flashing
on and off in this room with this wallpaper of checked green
triangles that has a white background flashing on and off. It is
strange because when my vision flashes off everything is a brilliant
white light. It is like a flicker of random timings from this green
triangular wall paper room to this brilliant white light. I have not
been well but this wallpaper is thereputic. This room is to help me
find my health in the intermitance of my awareness of this special
place that brightens me up inside. I am told that this all comes
courtesy of the Elder. Thank you Elder.
(86) Morning Glory.
I see Andrea after she visits the health clinic. We have a chat and
she needs her medication. I take the script and I tie it to my boot
laces so that I do not lose it and it flaps around my boots when I
walk.

There is a room full of models. Each model represents a county

that I have travelled to. These models depict the characteristics of
that county that it represents. There are holes in the models for
information to travel through. I see the model for Yorkshire and it
has its Yorkshire accent. It is like a little model building with
sweeping driveways and three tunnels to these driveways to put
your hands inside to transceive your information.

I see another woman called Sam. I see her in bed and I join her
there. She is so cute and cozy, but I go straight to sleep because I
like to have morning sex when I wake up from my slumber.
(87) So Sure.
I am on a hillside, as I drive my car up and I park myself away from
the road on this sideway. I have my freedom. I have total freedom.
I find a way in which to play my guitar that does not distract me.
That does not take me away. And these people, they love me.
Deep in the centre of my mind I find these people and that is what
makes me so sure.

21-5-18

(88) Careful With What I Do.

I am playing music in public. I am cautious to get the right volume,
but then I switch it off because there is other music playing in the
room.

I see my sister Maz and she shows me some photos of her fishing
and some of her catches. I show dad these photos. I am surprised
that dad has not seen these photos before. I am surprised that
Maz has not shown dad these photos. I am beginning to wonder if
Maz wanted me to show these photos to dad as Maze is now
compelled to explain these photos to dad as he looks through
them.

I casually look through some postage stamps that I have collected.

I decide that I will display the definitive stamps in a stamp book
and present them correctly. I draw on my cigarette, but the filter
has been 'bog washed' as we say. It is wet with my saliva and so I
am dissatisfied with how much smoke that I inhale.
22-5-18

(89) Very Becoming.

I am discovering how we connect when we touch each other. This
is beyond the scope of the perceptions of an earthly experience
and so I cannot elaborate on this any further, as there is no earthly
frame of reference to my astral insights that leave me in
wakefulness.

I crawl under a road sign in the grass. I crawl under this road sign
that is held up by two posts in the ground. I crawl between these
two posts and I get shitted up to the elbows, but I do not make a
fuss. I find some water. I find a body of water that laps in and I
carefully wash myself down without getting myself too washed up.
I am also aware of a woman in the background watching me as I
wash my arms down, up to my elbows. She makes me more
conscious than I would otherwise be. I imagine what she might
think of me as I clean myself up and so I become a part of her just
as she has become a part of me.

24-5-18

(90) Just A Jacket.

I meet Janet and we socialise, but Janet is not happy with me. She
gives me some feedback on how I can improve my ways. I feel that
I have let Janet and myself down. I have missed out on what could
have been and I make my apologies to Janet. I do not know the
etiquette here. I do not know how to behave. When I meet the
ladies do we hug? Do we kiss on the cheek?

I put a small bottle drink in my jacket pocket. I take my jacket off. It

is like I am aware of of two women. It is as if I mirror two women.
One woman is with the jacket off and the other woman is with the
jacket on. The jacket off has a ghostly appearance of a woman. In
fact she is not a woman at all. She is just a jacket. She is just a
shadow, a shadow of the woman with the jacket on.

25-5-18

(91) Parked Up And Speeding.

I see this bloke driving his car. He is wearing a blue denim jacket.
He is off his head! As I walk the street he drives slowly and I watch
him. It looks as if he is rolling up a cigarette as he drives along. He
does not look where he is going and then at the last minute he
corrects his steering.

He is parked up against a brick wall now, on the path that I walk

down. He is so unpredictable. I feel that he is likely to run me over.
I am cautious as I walk around his car with its engine running. I
think that he is taking drugs. He appears to be oblivious to
anything around him as he concentrates on something that he is
doing inside his car. Snorting coke probably!

26-5-18

(92) Flotsom And Jetsom.

Lisa goes through her set of songs, but there are some songs that
she cannot find. There are some songs that have slipped her mind.
Sunk into the depths. There are some songs hidden away. As she
fishes out these songs here her acoustic guitar she does play. "And
it is unpredictable." I hear her sing away.
There are some songs that she cannot find. They have swam right
out of her mind. With a set of songs beside the sea, but some
have gotten away. So where have these songs gone? There are
some songs tucked away. "And it is unpredictable." I hear Lisa say.
So it maybe that those songs have just floated away.

(93) A Default.
It is amazing how many coincidences there are. As I make my way
around the cliff top path to dig my heels into the loose soil of this
earth's cliff edge. I listen to a commentary of a woman:

"It is said that the nearest blonde woman will die if secrets are
divulged. Some secrets have been divulged and a woman in the
next room in Scandinavia is shot in the head. She is a blonde this is
true" I wonder to myself, who fired that bullet? The bullet is tiny
but the devastation is real and complete.

So as I navigate this cliff's edge I notice how the trees have been
set. How the trees have been cut back and the shadows that fall
across this cliff's edge path through those tree stumps that remain
and the coincidences are remarkable. How everything falls
together as I risk my life along this cliff's path edge. The
coincidences are astounding as they reveal themselves to me, a
geological truth of fault lines that cross here and so things will
happen how they do.

27-5-18

(94) Reflections Of A Man.

I meet a man who says that he is going for demon treatment. He is
very open about this. He is cheerful and his actions appear
positive, but he seems strange. His eyes are unusual. I seem to
think that I have met this man before. I have a vague memory that
he has told me about the demons in his mind before, only this
time my jaw is shaking uncontrollably and my teeth are chattering
and rattling together. I want to stop this. I want to stop my jaw
from shaking and my teeth from chattering and rattling together.
Then there are those chills down my spine as I reflect upon this
man. This is how this man affects me and It is all very
disconcerting.

(95) People! Pee Pole!

There is a woman, who I would not recognise, with big curly
ginger hair who I used to work with. She tells me that she is in a
new position within that same job and that she has had her hair
done. She wears glasses that look like shades. Somehow she has
contacted me. She has connected to me and she tells me that she
knows me. I see her from time to time walking home from work
along the path, but I never get a chance to speak to her.

I am on my push bike as I notice her from behind. She is walking

along the path on her way home from work on the opposite side
of the road. She never seems to notice me though and I only ever
see her briefly, as I make my way home. I turn off down the road
to where I live and she carries on, straight on along the main road
to where she lives.

Now I am in this old building. I would like some space please.

There are always people around me and I feel the need to
distance myself from them in order to reconnect and to explore
deep within myself. I go to the far reaches of this building, but
there is always someone there. I go out into the garden. I look for
a private space, a place in this garden where I can go, but there
are neighbours out in their garden next door. I want to rearrange
my cock, but there are people everywhere. I search for a little
privacy, but there are always people about and I do not want to
give the wrong impression.

28-5-18

(96) Me-And-Her, And Him.

This is all about Direction, Timing and Flow. We decide where we
want to go. We decide when to do it and then we just go with it
avoiding the obstacles along the way. As Direction, Timing and
Flow we navigate those crowds of people. We meander through
those city streets. We meander through those crowds of people,
me-and-her, and him; Direction, Timing and Flow.

29-5-18

(97) An Astrological Skyscape.

We are looking up at the sky with Venus in Libra. "How much
better this sky looks than those bluish sky alignments in March."
Says this unknown man to me.

As I look up at the sky I ask this man, "What colour is that sky?"
Knowing full well that the sky is in three shades of light red, with
all the planets, stars and galaxies pencilled in. I would just like
some conformation about this.
I am wandering around looking up at this spectacle in the sky. I am
in wonderment. I am wandering around looking up at this
astrological display and I am in awe of this alignment today.

30-5-18

(98) Travel Disruptions.

I am all about building up connectivity. Finding the best ways to
move on smoothly without too much fuss. It feels like I wait here
forever for a connection to take me home. I got an ambulance to
get here, but it is all quiet now as I listen to peoples conversations.
I am here with my girlfriend and we do not speak about this delay
in my travels. You see she will not be travelling with me on my
next journey and so we have more time together. The longer that I
wait with her for this connection to take me off, then the longer
that we are together. So patiently I enjoy the company that I keep
with her, but I am getting nowhere fast here.

31-5-18

(99) A Balloon Slapping Time.

There are some creatures that are similar to lions except for the
fact that they have big heavy balloon bits that they slap down
onto the ground. It is like a huge heavy inflatable balloon that
these lion looking creatures lift up and then smash down onto the
ground in order to mark their domain. We avoid these creatures.
They have us wandering around avoiding them and sometimes we
slap down a large heavy balloon type thing that echoes through
this greenhouse like environment. We do this to move these lion
looking creatures on. My boss Matt is here and he is supervising
this area. I need to negotiate my way around this greenhouse
environment with my boss as we avoid these lion type creatures if
we are to survive here.

(100) Secrecies And Lies.

I talk to people and all my different groups of friends I use a
different language within a language. I use a different way to hide
my communication so that I will not reveal too much. I go around
to Spud's house and he is in bed with his woman. We all have a
chat and I am struck by his woman's communication. As she leans
over Spud in their bed, she is not so pretty but she has an
attractiveness and kindness within her communication. I have to
mask my communication when I speak to her. Somehow I keep
much to myself. I see Spud's brother and again I use a different
language within a language so that I do not reveal anything to
anyone who may overhear me. Spud tells me that he needs to go
out and that he will not be long. He tells me to hold on here and
then Spuds brother says something, but he slurs his words. "Shit! I
will have to be even quicker now!" Spud suddenly exclaims and
rushes off. I do not know what this is all about and no one tells
me, because their communication is masked and they hide so
much as they do not want to reveal too much either.

____________________________________________________

June 2018

____________________________________________________
1-6-18

(101) Pillocking About On The Railway.

There are three of us working on the railway. We are all on this
train and everything keeps going wrong. The train is late or the
train is early. The train has to go back because we forgot
something and we all have a good laugh about this.

One of my railway companions gets very theatrical and passionate

about his expressions. I watch him as he folds himself up. Then he
unfolds himself out along the train track. He then dissects himself
up into chunks and stacks himself up high with a black top hat on,
resting on the top. “We go weird!” I exclaim with excitement to
someone looking on as if they would not know this by now.

There are other train drivers on the railway who are pillocking
about also. They say one thing and do another. I hear talk that
they are going to get a super fast train to beat those pillocking
train drivers at their own game. They will charge off through the
railway system with their superfast train at the very last second
and surprise those stupid train drivers with a last second burst
through the signals on the line. “That will show them!”

2-6-18

(102) Engaging.
There are three talks on tonight and there are three different
women who divide these three talks with their presence. I look at
these women and I note their differences.

The last woman is chatty. She is lively as she smiles and interacts.
She has neat blonde hair to her shoulder and a pretty face. She is
young and attractive as she socialises.

I look forward to these talks tonight, but it is the difference and

the division between these talks that I am most interested in.

(103) Out Of Control.

I tell Dave that I like to drive my car out of control. I get my car to
the top of a grassy hill and I let the car go as I hold on to the
outside of the car, just to see where I end up. Hopefully not in
hospital. So then we both have a go at this. Dave’s white van ends
up behind a garage out of sight and after a fast descent down the
grassy hill I end up going round and round in circles holding on to
the side of my car until it rolls to a stop. This is so much fun and
we are laughing uncontrollably.

3-6-18

(104) Nothing Better To Do?

I try to hide the bootmark on the white internal door that I just
kicked open. I lick my finger and rub the sole print on the white
door and I watch it fade away with every rub.

Later as we all dos out in a room, me and my mates we sprawl out

on the furniture. “Why are they trying to sell watches to men?!”
One of my friends exclaims to the television as if the TV is under
scrutiny. As if the TV is on trial for the adverts that it shows.
“Maybe they think that us
men have nothing much to do.”
“Yeah well that’ll be right” I retort in a disinterested sort of way.

4-6-18

(105) Abba’s New Song.

I am queuing up in a line outside what I believe to be a swimming
pool. There are two lines of people next to each other. I am aware
that those people in the queue opposite me have Alan keys to
open transparent tubes that come out from their stomachs. I
decide to leave the queue and I walk off but I can hear some really
nice music. It turns out to be Abba who have just released a new
song. It has an excellent bass line to it, in a laid back reggae style
of music. I discover that this music is coming from the sports hall
where people are performing to this music. Wow! A new song
from Abba and it sounds great!

(106) “I’ve Been Burgled!”

There was a young woman with dark long hair. I have been asked
what she looks like because they want to identify her. But that is
just it, she has long dark hair and she had a power tool!

I go back to my house. I cannot remember which house I live in

and it takes me a while to realise that I live in the house with the
front window taken out! ‘This does not look good.’ I think to
myself. I peer into the house through the window less hole in the
wall. I see that all the cupboard doors are left open wide. Maybe I
should see the police and get a crime number for this incident, but
I really cannot be bothered.
5-6-18

(107) A Delightful Candelabra.

This lad plays a guitar solo to me. “Don’t tell anyone.” He says. I
guess that he should be working on his music project on his own. I
am not sure about his guitar solo. He plays his guitar solo a second
time and I realise that it is meant to be played slow. It is more like
a saxophone solo played on guitar.

“Yeah I get it now.” I tell him. It is not the sort of guitar solo that I
would make up, but it is okay.

“Don’t tell anyone.” He instructs me again in an eager voice, as if

he thinks that I might blab it out to everyone that I have helped
him.

“I’ll not say anything.” I reassure him. As we are walking away

there is a piano with some lighted candles that have been placed
on the closed lid that covers the piano keys. Without knowing it
this lad gets his shirt next to the candle flame. I give him a shove. I
push him off. “Set yourself on fire if you want to mate!” I tell him
as I make light of this situation, but he does not make anything of
it.

6-6-18
(108) I Find My Slot.
I look for a place to park my songs. I have three new guitar songs
that I have just written. I find a convenient place beside a wall
where there are no double yellow lines. I place these songs there.
They just fit in there nicely and so that is where I leave them.

7-6-18

(109) Boilng Over.

I see Graham at work. Graham is very stressed. He rushes around.
He shouts out loud at his work colleagues for getting in the way.
"There is not much room here and we all have our jobs to do." I
tell him, but Graham goes off the deep end. He shouts and rages.
With passion he expresses his irritation. He used to be so patient,
but not now. He is just an arse now.

8-6-18

(110) Just Me And A Bumblebee.

It is me and a bee, we travel around. We are looking for jobs to do
to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do, is an excuse to make some
money to pay for our college education."

Then I think, 'I hope that no one heard me say that. I might sound
ungrateful for the work that we do get.'
So it is just me and a bumblebee who follows me around
everywhere. She used to be my sister in a previous life, but now
she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air. She is even
more snotty now. Now that she is a bumblebee!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Just Me And A Bumblebee.

It is me and a bee,
we travel around free.
We are looking for jobs to do
to pay for our college tuition.

"We are just looking for jobs to do,

is an excuse to
make some money to
pay for our college education."

Then I think,
'I hope that no one heard me say that.
I might sound ungrateful
for the work that we do get.'
 So it is just me and a bumblebee
who follows me around everywhere.
She used to be my sister in a previous life,
but now she just buzzes around like a stripey dot in the air.

She is even more snotty now.

Now that she is a bumblebee!

(111) A Bad Job.

This lad has taken me with him to this woman's house. He is doing
some painting and decorating there. He has asked me to make
some mugs of tea. The lady who owns this house has shown me
where the tea bags and kettle and things are, but I am struggling.
What is wrong with me? I just cannot make a mug of tea. It goes
to mud and so I think that I cannot give him that. I keep trying to
make him a mug of tea, but I end up throwing it away. I finally
think that I have made a good mug of tea for him and then I
realise that it has taken me so long to make that it has gone cold. I
am surprised that he is not complaining. I should have made him a
mug of tea hours ago. If he offers me any money for helping him
today then I will give him the money straight back. I am useless!

9-6-18

(112) She Is Kind And I Am So Dumb.

Life has sped up too fast, as time goes by so quickly. Lisa is kind to
me and I am so dumb. I try to speak my mind, but my words are
so clumbsy, but she does not judge me for this.

There are these sea creatures. Human hybrids between seals and
sharks that we left for dead. They are now healthy and free saved
by our intervention. These animals are like people. They reflect so
much humanity to us as they watch us and we can see something
of ourselves in them.

Lisa and I we scale the dizzy heights of this building and she tells
me that she has known me since 2013. We marvel at how fast this
time has gone by. We negotiate a difficult transfer from an iron
ladder to a concrete block platform. She laughs as she is stuck in
this iron stair well. Like a plug she sets herself free. Like a plug she
pulls herself out from this tight fitting stairwell.

Lisa is kind to me and I am so dumb. She does not deserve

someone as dumb as me hanging around with her and this is why I
love her so much you see.

10-6-18

(113) Somewhat The Grey.

I feel myself as a small skinny light grey alien. I am something else
as well, but that something else whatever it is leaves me
somewhat. That something else that is darker and larger and more
substantial, leaves me to become more of that small skinny light
grey alien. Who comes out as himself, as an aspect of myself from
such deep love, deep within my soul somewhat.

Somewhat The Grey.

I feel myself
as a small skinny light grey alien.
I am something else as well,
but that something else whatever it is
leaves me somewhat.
That something else that is darker
and larger and more substantial,
leaves me to become more of that
small skinny light grey alien,
who comes out as himself,
as an aspect of myself
from such deep love,
deep within my soul
somewhat.

11-6-18

(114) Obtrexity.
For some reason I have a clash of perceptual experience with
someone else uninvitingly. Within his box of perceptual delights. I
pass by through it all refracted. Which alters the visual effect in a
most mysterious way. This puts a few thoughts out there, but it is
a really nice effect.

Then someone starts using obscure voice sounds, but I can read
right through these sounds and I decifer them completely. They
are not so mysterious to me and reveals a gay tendency in that
person who does not know how much they are revealing about
themselves. I am given the word 'Obtrexity.'

12-6-18

(115) Plastic Food.

There is too much plastic. I cook a meal only to find plastic in it. I
even find a plastic cooker with a place to put three triple A
batteries in it and this is in my food! There is so much concern
about platstic in the food that I cook that there is an inquiry into
this.

13-6-18

(116) Looking For Lisa.

There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her. I
search through my mind to find her standing there. Just the way
that I want her to be. Just the place where I like her to be. She
stands there looking pretty you see. I search through and she
stands there so true. A picture so pretty. A pleasure to view and
she is so sexy too.

Looking For Lisa.

There are places where I go where I find Lisa when I want her.
I search through my mind to find her standing there.
Just the way that I want her.
Just the place where I like her to be.
 She stands there looking pretty you see.
I search through my mind and she stands there so true.
As pretty as a picture.
A pleasure to view
and she is so sexy too. <3

15-6-18

(117) To Play The Ocean.

I play my guitar and I practice an unusual bar chord. The sky is
grey and the rain comes down and floods me out. This bar chord
makes me play my guitar like I have a disability. I feel like a spastic.
Then it is as if the sky becomes the ocean. In an instant I am under
an emense body of water. WOW! This is some bar chord to be
able to do that!

D maj 7 sus 4 bar chord:

e 3+n
b 2+n
g 2+n
d 0+n
ax
Ex

n
0 ---> D
1 ---> D#/Eb
2 ---> E
3 ---> F
4 ---> F#/Gb
5 ---> G
6 ---> G#/Ab
7 ---> A
8 ---> A#/Bb
9 ---> B
10 ---> C
11 ---> C#/Db
12 ---> D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chord Sequence 1
Bm Em D A
Bm Em D A

Am Dm C G
Am Dm C G

Chord Sequence 2
EGAB
EGAB

D# D C A
D# D C A

riff:
eeggaaa#a#
eeggaaa#a#
aaccddd#d#
aaccddd#d#
16-6-18

(118) Unreal!
I see a foot. It is not a real foot. It is a cartoon foot and it is buried
in this cartoon ground. I see the cross section through the ground
and I believe this foot to be mine. I tilt my leg forward and I tell
myself that it is difficult to do this as my joint on the top of my
foot aches when I tilt my leg forward. 'Why is my leg in this
cartoon?' I am suddenly wondering to myself. 'And why is my
cartoon foot buried under a cartoon ground of soil?' I think that I
may have planted myself here!

Unreal!

I see a foot.
It is not a real foot.
It is a cartoon foot.
It is buried within this cartoon ground.
I see the cross section through this ground.

I believe this foot to be mine.

 I tilt my leg forward.
I tell myself that it is difficult to do this
as my joint on the top of my foot
aches when I tilt my leg forward.

I am suddenly wondering to myself,

'Why is my leg in this cartoon?'
'And why is my cartoon foot buried
under a cartoon ground of soil?'

I think that I may have planted myself here!

17-6-18

(119) As He Goes On.

My dad is embracing me. There are three of us. There is also this
lad who I used to work with many years ago. He hangs around us
in silence. I reach into my pocket as I remember about some
change that I got today. "Have you seen this new ten pound coin?"
I ask them and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a surrated edge.
There is also two shades of green within the markings of this coin.
My dad eagerly takes this coin and he inspects it well.

"Shit!" He exclaims as he looks hard into the design. I get the

impression that this coin means something very deep to him and
that I can only guess at the revelation that it reveals to him. My
dad has a military persona about himself here. He goes on to talk
intetently and yet there is a subtlety that I do not understand
about him as he goes on talking and he does go on.
 As He Goes On.

My dad is embracing me.

There are three of us.
There is also this lad
who I used to work with many years ago.
He hangs around us in silence.

I reach into my pocket

as I remember about some change that I have gotten today.
"Have you seen this new ten pound coin?" I ask them
and I reveal a heavy silver coin with a surrated edge.
There are two shades of green
within the markings of this coin.

My dad eagerly takes this coin

and he inspects it well.
"Shit!" He exclaims
as he looks hard into its design.
I get the impression that this coin means something,
something very deep to him
and that I can only guess at the revelation,
this revelation that it reveals to him.

My dad has a military persona about himself here.

He goes on to talk intetently
and yet there is a subtlety
that I do not understand about him
as he goes on talking
and he does go on.
18-6-18

(120) That Is Okay.

I get back with my ex from when I was a teenager or that is how it
feels like to me. Except that she is not my ex really she is another
woman entirely who lives in a much different county from where I
used to live as a teenager. And I am not exactly going out with her.
She is not my girlfriend as such, but she is a good friend of mine
and I do have a crush on her. She like my ex has had her children
with someone else and they have all grown up now. I am in my
fifties now. I have missed out on all of that family life of watching
your children as they grow up, but that is okay. I have extricated
myself from all of that part of humanity for many years until now,
because I feel that I have suddenly dropped back into a family life
that I have never really known before. Into a life that I have always
avoided, but that is okay.

19-6-18

(121) Down By The Cove.

I have some sort of scam going. Being so close to the sea and
everything. I deal in a few illegalities. We have covert operations
down by the cove. Down at the bottom of my bed in the portal of
my room. In the dreamscape of my mind. There is a pathway that
lights up through the green leaves along the trees down to the sea
that laps upon the sandy shore. We have this thing going. There
are deals. It is all hush hush. There is a lot of secrecy around all of
this and I do not want to let on to too much here, but we have
some treasure and we have some beer and I have a woman who I
hold dear ; )
 Down By The Cove.

I have some sort of scam going.

Being so close to the sea and everything.
I deal in a few illegalities.
We have covert operations down by the cove.
Down at the bottom of my bed
in the portal of my room.
In the dreamscape of my mind.

There is a pathway that lights up

through the green leaves along the trees
down to the sea that laps upon the sandy shore.
We have this thing going.
There are deals.
It is all hush hush.

There is a lot of secrecy around all of this

and I do not want to let on to too much here,
but we have some treasure
and we have some beer
and I have a woman who I hold dear ; )

21-6-18

(122) Tracey.
How it all fits in. This has all been done before and so this is the
mould. This is the pattern that I use and I go with it. This is so
other worldly that I cannot explain it clearly. This is so 'out there'
that it is so 'not here.' Like some ethereal bus stop that I wait at
for the movement to begin. Everything falls into place in this
ethereal space that I trace out as I space out here.

(123) Negotiate.
I am walking along and I make my way over some grass from the
park to a path by the road when suddenly I notice a big double
decker bus facing me coming out of a tee junction over across the
road when this big bugs bunny cartoon character jumps up and
appears on the wind screen of this bus obscuring the bus driver's
view. My initial thought is, 'How does the bus driver see past
that?' When I suddenly realise that it is designed to make the bus
driver stop the bus, because this bus has advance warnings built
into it.

I then find myself squeezing through this tiny gap between a large
red pillar box and a stone wall. I am in two minds about whether I
should do this because the gap is tight and I am in danger of
getting stuck, but I have committed myself to squeeze through this
gap now. I panic a little as there is no garentee that I will get
through here.

(124) This Is Where I Live Now.

I live in this old house. I go back to this house with a large dark
heavy wooden door. It is down the road from the pub on the
corner. I make sure that I get the right door and I get my brass key
out to let myself in. I sleep in the brown comfy chair next to the
dark wooden door that I let myself into. There is someone who
sleeps in the next room and I see that they have only half opened
their curtains and it has gone eleven in the morning. I guess that
they must be running late as I watch them sort something out
whilst they are sat in their comfy chair.

Later I find myself in a discussion with another resident here. I

cannot rememer exactly what we discuss here, but she points to
this velcro tab on a cooler bag which is rainbow in colour, but not
a normal rainbow. At the bottom of this tab it is white which goes
to yellow, then there are some indecipherable colours in the
middle and then some bluey and purpley colours at the top of this
velcro tab. She points to the top of this tab and asks me, "What
colour is this?" I tell her that it is purple and she says, "We have
another Richard here. He doesn't know his colours either!"

"Well I am colour blind." I tell her in order to explain myself, whilst

feeling that I am missing out on something here and not
understanding what this conversation is all about.

22-6-18

(125) To Declare Or Not To Declare, That Is The Question.

I tell my sister Maz that I need some work on the disco. She tells
me that she can get some work from Ian. "Let me go and check
when I am free." I tell her.

"You will have to declare that you are living at home and so you
will have to pay tax." My sister warns me.

I think about what my sister tells me. "Yes I still want the work." I
confirm to her and so then we both go off in different directions. I
go to get my diary and she goes to get the information of the disco
work that she is giving away to me, but I am slightly miffed about
the tax thing. I have some deep thoughts about this, 'Is there any
way that I can avoid the burden of paying tax?' I wonder to myself
and I mull on this.

23-6-18

(126) The Things That She Had To Say.

For some reason this lass asked me to answer her phone for her
when it went off. Her friend spoke to me on this phone. She had
only just recently met me previously. All three of us had been out
for a walk together. Of course this lass wanted to know what her
friend had spoken to me about on her phone and I found it hard
to tell her:

"We spoke for a while in a polite kind of way about this and that,
where it was at and what sort of day it had been. The things that
she had seen and what it all could mean about this and that and
where we are all at."

24-6-18

(127) To Know Yourself.

I come free wheeling down the hillside road on my push bike. I
nearly make a wrong turn down this hill as I free wheel so fast. I
notice that my brake cable is nearly snapped. There are frays of
wire poking out of its plastic covering and these wires splay out all
over. "I really need to get this push bike in to be serviced." I tell
myself as it is nearly unrideable.
So I get back to my home and this place is very homely to me.
There are many people here who I live with. They are mainly older
women and young lads. I do like it here. I like the chaos and I like
the kindness of the people who live here. They make this my
home and the fact that I have my own room for privacy. I have my
own space away from everyone else. Where I can truly be myself
and where I can truly find myself.

I find myself deep within. Where no one else can go. This is my
space, this is my place. Somewhere only I can know. This is where I
find my peace. A place to feel at ease. Where a side of me drops
out of this world into a sanctity that is hidden. A side of me that
no one ever sees.

25-6-18

(128) I Hear Voices!

I hear a voice, "I am not for you." I hear Lisa tell me this. There is
no mistakening her South West, Devon accent. She tells me
straight, "I am not for you."

Then in another voice that I do not recognise, I hear the name

'Cary' or 'Kari' or some name like that. Who is 'Cary' or 'Kari' I
wonder to myself?

26-6-18

(129) About You.

I enter this competition to show off my guitar playing skills and to
show off those songs that I sing too. It is important to me that I
get things right here. It is important to me that I represent myself
correctly here and that my dreams are a true reflection of what I
truly feel about you.

28-6-18

(130) A Journey To Thee.

I am walking home late at night. I am behind two women who talk
loud as they walk along. They turn into a bus stop shelter and I
carry on. There is a little icy snow on the paving slabs that I walk
on, but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now and the tide is high. Some of the pavement is
flooded and there are some offices deep in water. I grab hold of
this rail as I walk along the path and that rail falls off and spins into
a wheel. I run off and the spinning rail of a wheel follows me fast
from behind, until I go through a narrow gap and the spinning rail
of a wheel gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane. I know that I should not be
doing this. I grip hard with my hands and like Spiderman I climb
down. It is as if I am climbing down for ages. I did not think that I
had been so high. I touch the ground near the top of this
incinerator and I feel the warmth from it and then it gets much
hotter as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly like a spirit in the sky. There are workers all
around me, but no one looks at me. I recognize the energy of
someone who I do not know. I know their energy and yet I do not
know who they are. It is because I know their energy that that is
where I go to you see. Just me and thee. The energy that I know.
 A Journey To Thee.

I am walking home late at night.

I am behind two women
who talk loud as they walk along.
They turn into a bus stop shelter
and I carry on.
There is a little icy snow
on the paving slabs that I walk on,
but most of the snow has melted.

I am by the sea now

and the tide is high.
Some of the pavement is flooded
and there are some offices deep in water.
I grab hold of this rail
as I walk along the path
and that rail falls off
and spins into a wheel.
I run off
and the spinning rail of a wheel
follows me fast from behind,
until I go through a narrow gap
and the spinning rail of a wheel
gets stuck hard with a clank!

I find myself climbing down this crane.

I know that I should not be doing this.
I grip hard with my hands
and like Spiderman I climb down.
It is as if I am climbing down for ages.
 I did not think that I had been so high.
I touch the ground
near the top of this incinerator
and I feel the warmth from it
and then it gets much hotter
as I pass over it.

Then I decide to fly

like a spirit in the sky.
There are workers all around me,
but no one looks at me.
I recognize the energy
of someone who I do not know.
I know their energy
and yet I do not know who they are.
It is because I know their energy
that that is where I go to you see.
Just me and thee.
The energy that I know.

(131) "You're a D.F!"

I am watching a black and whte Abbott and costello film from a
grave. They make me laugh and the grave stone that I am perched
on moves making a deep stoney grating sound. Lou Costello is up
a ladder. He finds a little door and he chizzels it open. Then he
finds a slightly bigger door which he chizzels open, so that the
little door is open within the slightly bigger door that has also
been opened. So this goes on and on until there is a big door with
many doors open within it, that get smaller and smaller, until it
gets to the first door that has been chizzelled open.
Bud Abbott asks Lou Costello "What are you doing?" In a
suspicious tone and then qualifies his question to Costello by
saying, "You're a D.F!"

I laugh and I tell my girlfriend who is not watching this film, "He's
a dodgy fucker!" I tell her. "You know these old films are fucking
brilliant!" I inform her in a rather determined sort of way, as I am
still amused with this film that has just finished. My girlfriend just
looks across to me from the kitchen as she is drying some dishes
with a tea towel. She is not really interested and she says nothing.

30-6-18

(132) "She's Not Alan's!"

There is a lass on this train that I like. She has some thumping
good tunes that she sings to and that she raps to. I watch her
stand up from her seat and she takes to the isle of the train to get
off at this station where we have stopped at. 'I hope that this song
that she plays, plays on into the station where she gets off.' I tell
myself. She is a big black woman. An African woman in colourful
African clothes.

I feel awkward. I tell this bloke, "I fancy that woman that Alan
likes." 'Should I have said that?' I wonder to myself as soon as I
have said it.

"You go for her." This bloke encourages me.

"Yes, it's not like she's Alan's girlfriend, is she." I retort whilst
thinking deeply about this situation. I wonder if this bloke will
secretly tell Alan what I have just said.
The woman who Alan fancies is a black woman also, but she is
slim and dignified, just like her friend. Maybe there is a twin thing
going on here, but I still prefer the one that Alan likes. Both of
them are very nice, but that one that Alan likes is the better one.