More Body Language: gestures and their common meanings

Head nod – I understand

Rolling eyes – I do not believe you
Rubbing something – suspicion or rejection
Stroking the chin – evaluating, I am thinking of what you said
Clearing throat – nervous
Pushing forward – serious
Hands open and palms up – helplessness
One hand above head – emphasize point
Both hands clasped above head – triumph
Hand in front of mouth – telling half a story or embarrassment
Sitting back – I’ve got you now, confidence
Wagging a finger – you are wrong
Pointing at someone – aggressive
Sitting on fingers – confidence
Hands clasped behind back – I am in charge
Chewing pencil – nervous or uncertain
Crossed arms over chest - resistance, I do not agree
Deep sigh – bored
Be careful of mixed signals. Nonverbal is more believable than words

Tips for Body Language - Non Verbal Communication

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

Our Non-Verbal Communication generates many signals and ‘sends’ them to the other party. Every
internal thought that we have is transferred externally through our non-verbal communication and
behaviour.

When we speak we can say anything we want to. We can tell the truth, lie, be vague, be forthright.
Our body language, on the other hand, does not lie. There are hundreds of messages that our body
gives away and the meaning of them taken by the audience in most cases takes priority over what we
say.

When negotiating, we must be aware of our body language and voice tone and how we should use it
and control it. We should also be observant and understand what the customer’s body language is
telling us (refer to calibration). When we are negotiating and communicating, we should be aware of
the signs that are being shown by the other party, for example, agreement, uncertainty, indecision
etc. This is also important when we receive questions and/or objections; for example, if the objection
is valid it is unlikely that deceit will be shown.

THE MEANING OF OUR COMMUNICATION TO OTHERS

VOICE - 38%
WORDS - 7%
PHYSIOLOGY - 55%

The table above clearly illustrates how our voice tone and body language shows itself when compared
with verbal communication.

It’s not so much what we say, it’s more how we say it and the image we create while saying it. Of
course, what we say must be accurate and true, however, if our voice sounds hesitant and our
movement and physiology suggest that we are unsure or nervous, the party will be influenced by the
meaning attached to them.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION OBSERVING PATTERNS

DECEIT: Mouth covering and nose covering may increase. Fidgeting or shifting on the seat may
increase. Eye contact will be poor, probably looking down towards their feet or the floor. Generally
there will be little or no animation.

SUGGESTION: This pattern may be common during false complaints, accusations or objections that are
not real.

INSECURITY/NERVES: Fidgeting and nail biting increase; ‘self stroking’ and rubbing of the hands
increase. Stroking or playing with rings/jewellery on the hand may increase. Clearing the throat, hands
covering mouth when speaking and rubbing/tugging at the ear.

SUGGESTION: Do not offer new ideas or untried products to anyone showing these signs. Offer
reassurance, guarantees, and peace of mind.

BOREDOM: Finger tapping, fidgeting and looking at watch or clock may increase. If sitting, the person
may ‘turn away’, sit towards the edge of the chair and/or hold on to the chair arms or the edge of the
table. The eyes will wander and eye contact will be poor.

SUGGESTION: Either bring them back into the conversation by asking an opinion based open question or
wind up the conversation and leave.

INDECISION: Shifting on seat or fidgeting may increase. Scratching, rubbing the head or ‘pinching’ the
nose may be shown. Looking upwards indicates that they are thinking or reflecting.

SUGGESTION: When presenting new ideas, solutions or offering alternative options, this pattern is
normal. Reassurance statements maybe necessary, e.g. guarantees, refunds, etc.

RELAXATION/OPENNESS: Relaxed posture and breathing naturally accompanied with a natural smile.
Nodding
of the head and good eye contact. A lack of body stiffness or tightness. Open hands, uncrossed legs and
moving towards the edge of the chair if seated.

SUGGESTION: This is a key pattern to look for or work towards. Try and aim for this when solving
problems/handling complaints or dealing with objections.
EVALUATION: Sitting forward in the chair, head slightly tilted and supported by one hand with elbow
resting on the desk adopting the ‘Thinker’ posture. Head slightly tilted and stroking the chin is also
common.

SUGGESTION: This pattern may show when presenting ideas, discussing options. If this pattern is shown
but the person is reclined in their chair, it may indicate negative evaluation.

DEFENSIVENESS/DISAGREEMENT: Arms crossed on chest, fists clenched under the arms or hands
groping biceps. Legs crossed either one over the other or in a ‘figure four’ position. The body may lean
away from you when this pattern occurs.

SUGGESTION: In a sales or negotiation presentation, if we observe this pattern we must try and bring
this person into a positive frame. Trading concessions or offering benefits may be difficult when this
pattern is shown.

UNCERTAINTY/UNSURE: Closed hands and rubbing thumbs against each other. Sticking pen or pencil in
the
mouth to chew/suck. Pinching the fleshy part of the other hand and/or picking cuticles may also be
observed.

SUGGESTION: Offer solutions that have no or low risk attached to them. Give assurance; show evidence
of success and/or safety.

CO-OPERATION: Sitting forward on edge of chair with good eye contact. Hand supporting head and
head slightly tilted indicates that they are listening and showing interest. The unbuttoning of a coat or
jacket is also a positive sign.

SUGGESTION: Try and encourage these signs when looking for a commitment or negotiating.

CONFIDENCE: When standing the stance will be erect and ‘proud’. Less hand to face movements when
talking and the eyes will blink less. When seated the hands may form a ‘steeple’ shape. The higher this
position is shown; for example, up to eye level, may indicate the more confident the other person is
feeling. Indicators of personal space and ‘power’ are: Leaning back while sitting with both hands
clasped behind the head and legs crossed in a ‘figure four’ position. Leg over the arm of a chair or foot
placed on the edge of a desk/drawer.

SUGGESTION: This pattern may indicate that the person is very relaxed and listening to you. It may
also indicate that this person feels superior to you and therefore may try and dictate and/or take
control.

ACCEPTANCE/AGREEMENT: Nodding the head, good eye contact and warmer facial expressions.
Physical
contact, for example, touching our arm or shoulder may increase or be noticed. Moving closer towards
us when standing or when seated, pulling the chair closer to the table or us.

SUGGESTION: We should look for this pattern when reaching agreement, closing the deal or requesting
concessions.

“The meaning of the communication is the response that you get”

OUR PERSONAL STYLE

Non Verbal Communication BEHAVIOURS TO AVOID
We may be in the habit of using some non-verbal patterns that run the risk of creating a poor
impression of us.
Set out below is some common ‘negative’ patterns that we should seek to avoid.

DEFENSIVE
FACE AND HEAD
· Not looking at the other person(s)
· Avoiding eye contact or looking away immediately when eye contact is made

HANDS AND ARMS

· Clenching of fists
· Crossing arms
· Constantly rubbing an eye, nose or ear

BODY
· Leaning or turning away from the other person(s)
· Crossing of legs
· Swivelling feet towards the door when seated

ANXIOUS
FACE AND HEAD
· Blinking eyes frequently
· Licking lips frequently
· Clearing the throat

HANDS AND ARMS

· Opening and closing hands frequently or ‘rubbing’ hands
· Covering mouth with hands while speaking
· Tugging or rubbing an ear

BODY
· Fidgeting when sitting in chair
· ‘Swinging’ feet up and down
· Over use of ‘pacing the floor’

OVERBEARING/AGGRESSIVE/DOMINANT
FACE AND HEAD
· Staring at the other person
· Having a wry “I’ve heard it all before” type smile
· Raising eyebrows in exaggerated way
· Looking over the top of spectacles
· Taut mouth/narrowing of lips

HANDS AND ARMS

· Pointing finger at the other person
· Thumping fist on table
· Rubbing the back of the neck

BODY
· Standing while the other person sits
· Striding/pacing around
Tips for Oral Communication

 Consider carefully the purpose of the communication.

 Make sure the choice of communication method is appropriate to the purpose.
Don’t send a sms if an email is required or telephone call is required.
 Be consistent. Every communication should reinforce your desired image and
convey coherent messages. Conflicting messages erode customers’ confidence
and lose you business.
 Know your audience and make sure your communication is appropriate to their
interests/needs/wants.
 Consider different perspectives and think about how your communication might
be interpreted by those receiving it.
 Be clear and concise, avoiding ambiguity.
 Think before you speak.
 In any conversation, listen at least as much as you speak.
 Make sure your body language is saying the same as your words. If there is a
discrepancy between the two, people will tend to believe the messages they
pick up from your body language rather than your words.

The Hidden Language of Leaders

The Hidden Language of Leaders

by Natalie Morera | Talent Management

When it comes to business interactions and leading a team, you'd think simple body language -
such as eye contact or the crossing of arms - bears little significance, but the truth is these
gestures can send a positive or negative message to employees.

There are two sets of signals a person gives off, said Carol Kinsey Goman, author of The Silent
Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help - or Hurt - How You Lead. The first sets
status and authority; the next gives off warmth and empathy.

The air of status and authority is given off by how people carry themselves, Kinsey Goman said.
Details, such as a person's height, may make them look more powerful. Leaders can typically
convey warmth and empathy by using open hand signals, tilting their heads, nodding and making
eye contact.

"There's no good or bad body language signal; it depends on what your message is," Kinsey
Goman said. "Is your body language supporting or sabotaging that message?"

Kinsey Goman cited an instance of a presenter who she said had the crowd mesmerized. At the
conclusion of his speech, he said, "And now I'm open for questions," then crossed his arms and
stared at the crowd. Not one person asked a question.

"No one in that audience said, 'Oh my gosh, he's crossed his arms, therefore I cannot think of a
question,'" Kinsey Goman said. However, there must have been complete confusion in the
audience's brains.

If the speaker's message was to invite questions, he needed to realize that crossing his arms
sabotaged that message; however, he was oblivious to this contradictory movement.

Aileen Pincus, principal and CEO of the Pincus Group, a communications consulting firm,
explained that her company is usually asked to help with delivery issues - seldom content issues -
even though the two are intertwined.

"For instance, if you're hesitant about something because you're not sure what you're saying is
100 percent accurate or whether you're behind what you're saying 100 percent, it's going to
show," Pincus said. There are times when people who come in for training are put in positions
where they must deliver information they don't believe or are not confident about.

In order to appear confident, leaders have to believe in what they're saying. "We have to work
through those delivery issues," she said.

They also have to take into account one-on-one time with employees. If a difficult message has
to be delivered to an employee, such as needing to let them go, it's OK for the leader to show his
or her true feelings.

"If it's painful for you to have this conversation, it's fine to show it," Pincus said. "Why do you
need to hide that? It'll make you appear more human, more empathetic."

By showing that emotion, leaders won't come across like they're acting.

"We don't want to act our way out of a bad situation," she said. One way to avoid acting is by
taking time to prepare and anticipate reactions and questions before delivering a message to
employees.

"Executives often misunderstand how much communication is going on nonverbally," Pincus

said. This could include tone of voice, eye contact and other body language indicators.

We tend to trust what we see more than what we hear. If the two don't match, communication
becomes difficult.

Consider public speaking as a forum of conversations, said Matt Eventoff, partner with Princeton
Public Speaking.

"You're conversing whether people are responding to you verbally or not," he said. "Individuals
in an audience give you a reaction."
Whether the audience members nod, shake their heads in agreement or disagreement - or even
text - it's all a part of the conversation.

When it comes to communication, there's no good or bad, only what's appropriate for the
situation.

That said, there are things leaders can do to make sure they're sending a positive message.
Kinsey Goman offers the following body language tips for a successful collaboration:

1. Check Your Expectations.

"Pygmalion in the Classroom" was a study where children were chosen at random and identified
to their teacher as high-achievers. Because the teacher expected more of them, the students, who
were never told of their high-achieving status, had sharp increases on their IQ test scores at the
end of the year. The positive expectation was delivered nonverbally and Dov Eden, a Tel Aviv
University professor, found that if supervisors or managers hold positive expectations about the
performance of the people they lead, that performance will improve.

2. Activate Your Smile Power.

A smile can stimulate one's sense of well-being. It can also tell others how approachable,
cooperative and trustworthy a person is.

3. Use Your Head.

Kinsey Goman has found that people will speak more if the listener nods in clusters of three at
regular intervals. Tilting your head is also a signal of being involved and interested.

4. Look at People When They Speak.

People will feel like they have your attention as long as you're making eye contact. Avoid
checking text messages, glancing at your watch or looking at others' reactions.

5. Use the "Ultimate Connective Gesture."

When making an uplifting statement - for example, "This is a wonderful opportunity" - Kinsey
Goman suggests gesturing toward the listener with an upward open palm and bringing the hands
back to the body. According to her example, you would start your gesture at the word
"wonderful" and bring the gesture in at "opportunity." A nonverbal, positive connection can be
made this way.

6. Remove Barriers.
Face people you are speaking with directly. Remove barriers by closing your laptop, turning off
a cellphone or putting a briefcase to the side.

[About the Author: Natalie Morera is an associate editor for Talent Management magazine.]
.
In-House Training Program on Effective Business Communication Skills

In-House Training Program on

Effective Business Communication Skills
Communicating with Confidence for Commitment and Listening to Understand
Objectives of the Workshop
Communicating Effectively in Business is perhaps
the most basic critical skill for an individual’s
successes in the organization as well as personal life.
The biggest factors in Communication are
Misunderstanding, Miscommunication, Reactions,  To Communicate with Confidence and
Perceptions, Generalization, Assumptions and Commitment
Distortions which can have disastrous consequences To overcome Misunderstanding and
in Business and people. Dysfunctional Communication
 To overcome Communication Barriers
Imagine the cost involved when ideas in  To Listen and Respond with purpose
organization don’t get across colleagues, superiors  To express thoughts and feelings openly,
and subordinates? Or simply people do not directly, clearly and effectively
understand the expectations from other individuals Major Topics of the Workshop
and teams?

Effective Communication in Business is not just

about speaking well. It is what you speak and how  Communicating using the 3E’s
you speak that needs to be worked on. It is also  Dynamics of Communication Process
about what you don’t speak, since your Body  Elements of Communication – the 3V’s
Language speaks louder than your words.  The major Barriers
 Building Gateways to Communication
Well, Effective Business Communication is all about Listening - the most neglected in
connecting with people, its about understanding and communication
being understood. The strongest influence on the  Giving and Receiving Feedback
outcome of all communications is the ability to  The Power of Non-Verbal Communication
Listen effectively.  Styles of Communication
 Communicating Assertively
 Conflict Resolution Strategies
 Communicating with difficult person

Training Methodology Duration

2 days 9:30am to 5pm

Ice-breakers, Energizers, Case Study, Parables,
Paradox, communication exercises and games, Faculty
personal feedback on the communication style and
improvements required. Shabbar Suterwala
A Corporate Soft Skills Trainer, Coach and NLP
Practitioner

Contact: Shabbar Suterwala’s Leaders Workshop

Email: ShabbarSuterwala@hotmail.com , Mb: +91-989 222 5864
www.shabbarsuterwala.com
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Observing the Body Language and find out when someone is lying
Watching body language in addition to what is spoken might just save you from being a victim of fraud,
or it could help you figure out when somebody’s being genuine. The police do this during an
interrogation.

You have to learn the little facial and body expressions that can help you distinguish a lie from the
truth. Here are some steps and tips to do so.

1. Learn to recognize deflections.

Usually when people are lying, they will tell stories that are true but are deliberately aimed at not
answering the question you asked. If a person responds to the question “Did you ever hit your
wife?” with an answer such as “I love my wife, why would I do that?”, the suspect is technically
telling a truth, but they are avoiding answering your original question, which usually means they’re
lying.

2. Mind exaggerated details.

See if they are telling you too much, like “My mom is living in France, isn’t it nice there?
Don’t you like the Eiffel tower? It’s so clean there.― Too many details may tip you off to their
desperation to get you to believe them.

3. We have illustrators, and manipulators.

Illustrators are a sign of telling the truth, this is when you are using your hand gestures to talk. Moving
your hands while you are talking is a sign of telling the truth. We also have manipulators. These, are
the opposite of illustrators. An example of a manipulator can be playing with your wrist-watch, your
jewelry, pulling on your ear lobe, etc. People who behave this way tend to be hiding something. The
last, commonly unknown sign of hiding something is reptile tissue, most people have a reptile tissue in
their nose, and it itches when you’re hiding something. But, before you assume that the person is
hiding something, please establish a base line.

4. Base Line:

A base line is what someone acts like when they are not lying. You have to get a base line before you
proceed with anything. Imagine you have a itch on your nose ever since you got out of bed. And
someone thinks you are hiding something because you scratch your nose when answering a
question…oops. What the person should have done is establish a baseline. To establish a baseline, you
need to see the person when they aren’t lying. Try asking what their name is, and what they do for
a living.

5. Look out for micro-expressions.

Micro-expressions are split second facial expressions that flash on a person’s face for a less than a
25th of a second and reveal the person’s true emotion underneath their facade. Some people may
be naturally sensitive to them, but almost anybody can easily train to be able to detect
microexpressions. Put focus to the upper and lower eyelids, the corner of the eyes, the mouth and the
muscles surrounding the mouth, the eyebrows and forehead.

6. Shaking hands…

When you meet the person who you think is deceiving you, shake their hand. Take note of the
temperature. When you are sure they are lying to you, pretend to be leaving and quickly grab their
hand for a “Good-Bye― Handshake. If the temperature is colder, they are fearful.

7. Notice the person’s eye movements.

Contrary to popular belief, a liar does not always avoid eye contact. Humans naturally break eye
contact and look at non-moving objects to help them focus and remember. Liars may deliberately make
eye contact to seem more sincere. You can usually tell if a person is remembering something or making
something up based on their eye’s movements. When someone is remembering details, their eyes
move to the right (your right). When someone is making something up, their eyes move to the left.
It’s usually reversed for lefties. (although not always true.)

8. Be aware of their emotional responses

Timing and duration tends to be off when someone is lying. If you ask someone a question and they
respond directly after the question, there is a chance that the person is lying. This can be because they
have rehearsed the answer, or they’re already thinking about the answer just to get it over with and
move forward. A delayed answer can be a sign of lying. To tell the truth takes 2 parts of your brain at
most, however to lie takes 6 parts of your brain. If the person has a long story then you can ask them
to tell it backwards. Liars have trouble telling stories backwards, because in their mind they have
rehearsed it forwards, but not backwards. And, as with smiling, facial expressions of a poor liar will be
limited to the mouth area.
Pay close attention to the person’s reaction to your questions.

A liar will often feel uncomfortable and turn their head or body away, or even subconsciously put an
object between the two of you. Also, while an innocent person would go on the offensive (usually
responding with anger, which will usually be revealed in a microexpression directly after you say you
don’t believe them), a guilty person will often go immediately on the defensive (usually by saying
something to reassure their facts, such as deflections).

9. Listen for a subtle delay in responses to questions.

An honest answer comes quickly from memory. Lies require a quick mental review of what they have
told others to avoid inconsistency and to make up new details as needed. However, when people look
up to remember things, it does not necessarily mean that they are lying.

10 .Be conscious of their usage of words.

Verbal expression can give many clues as to whether a person is lying, such as:
Using/repeating your own exact words when answering a question
Not using contractions
Avoiding direct statements or answers (deflections)
Speaking excessively in an effort to convince
Speaking in a monotonous tone
Speaking in muddled sentences
Vocal pitch rising
Using classic qualifiers such as “I’m only going to say this once…―
Using humor and sarcasm to avoid the subject
Using Deflections (beating around the bush, not answering the question.)

11. Allow silence to enter the conversation.

If they’re lying, they will become uncomfortable if you stare at them for a while with a look of
disbelief. If they’re telling the truth, they will usually become angry or just frustrated (lips pressed
together, brows down, upper eyelid tensed and pulled down to glare).

12 .Change the subject quickly.

While an innocent person would be confused by the sudden shift in the conversation and may try to
return to the previous subject, a liar will be relieved and welcome the change. You may see the person
become more relaxed and less defensive.

13. Watch his or her throat.

A person may constantly be either trying to lubricate their throat when he/she lies by swallowing or
clearing their throat to relieve the tension built up. A person’s voice can also be a good lie
indicator; they may suddenly start talking faster or slower than normal, or their tension may result in a
higher-pitched speaking tone. See baseline info

14 .Check the facts.

If you have the means, check the validity of what the liar is saying. A skilled liar might give some
reason why you shouldn’t talk to the person who could confirm or deny a story. Perhaps the liar will
infer that the person is particularly favourable towards the liar, or that the person would have little
time for you. These are probably lies themselves, so might be worthwhile overcoming your reluctance
and to check with the person you’ve been warned against.

15. Judge the character.

Most people tell the truth most of the time, and

will cherish their reputation. Liars will ’sail close to the wind’ – they’ll artificially bolster
their reputation so that they seem more credible or desirable than they actually are.
If you overhear a version of an anecdote that seems wrong, listen to those alarm bells – it might be a
liar.
If someone takes the time out to ingratiate themselves with you out of the blue, it’s very flattering,
but you have to ask, why are they doing that?
If John rubbishes or smears people more than normal, John is possibly putting in the groundwork so the
audience are more receptive to John, and less receptive to the people who John has lied to –
they’re discredited before they can say ‘John is a liar’.

Note -

Some people are extremely experienced or even professional liars. He or she has told their made up
story so many times that they are actually believable, getting all their days, dates and times down
perfectly! Sometimes, you may need to simply accept that you can’t catch every lie all the time.
If you do catch a lie, don’t reveal it to the liar; they will just adjust their story. Once you know one
thing that is not true, you can use it to find more of the net of lies, and other nets of lies. Then decide
which points you reveal and to whom.

The Power of Body Language

You've probably heard these expressions before. "Chin up, shoulders back," "Keep your distance," "Feet
on the ground," "Pain in the neck." But have you ever wondered how they came about? It all has to do
with Body Language.

Simply put, body language is the unspoken communication we all use in every face-to-face encounter
with other human beings. You could say it's more powerful than anything said aloud.

Ninety-three per cent of our everyday communications is non-verbal. Only 7% has to do with words at
all. You could be telling that other person much more with your body language than you would ever say
in words.

Determining and regulating your own body language could well mean the difference when it comes to
job interviews, networking meetings, banquets and business dinners, or even a social occasion such as
a date. Even trickier is learning to read and understand the other person's body language.

So, you're probably asking yourself, "How do I regulate my body language to give a true representation
of how I feel when I interact with others?"

Start with the distance between you and the person with whom you're speaking.

If you get too close, people feel you're in their face, or too pushy. Too far away, and you could be seen
as standoffish.

The angle of your body is a dead giveaway to others. We tend to angle our body towards those people
we find friendly or interesting, and angle away from those we feel are cold or unfriendly. Crossing your
arms over your chest shows defensiveness. This posture says, "I'm closed off and keeping you out."
Eye Contact is one of the most important ways to communicate with others.
Looking them in the eye shows respect and interest. We've all experienced the person who looks
constantly at their watch, or seems to be far away and not listening to us. Their body language says, "I
have other places to be and other more interesting people to talk to than you." Or the person that you
know is not listening to what you're saying, but instead is busy deciding what he/she will say next.
Someone whose eyes are downcast, not looking you in the eye could be exhibiting signs of shyness, or it
could be deceit. Someone who is lying to you will not look you in the eye.

The head position also says a lot. To show confidence or authority, simply keep your head level. This
says, "Take me seriously, my words are important." To show friendliness and interest in what the other
person is saying, tilt your head slightly to one side or the other.

Mouth movements are easy clues to what the other person may be feeling. If they purse their lips or
twist them, they could be thinking carefully about what you just said, or disagreeing with you, but
holding back comment. You can certainly tell when someone is not pleased.

The handshake is extremely important in the communication with others. No one wants to shake a
hand like a wet noodle; at the same time, a handshake needn't be a contest of strength. It's a
handshake, not arm wrestling. Many people also don't quite know what to do with their hands after the
handshake, especially when meeting someone new. They tend to clasp their hands together, nervously,
or fiddle with their jewelry.

Since we're constantly sending out these powerful messages, it's clear we should make an effort to
learn more about what our bodies say to others. And learning what others are really saying to us is of
paramount importance in our day-to-day communications.

So, chin up, shoulders back, keep your distance, head up, eyes sharp, don't be pushy or standoffish,
smile and shake that hand. You too can learn to speak fluent body language.
How to do deal and resolve Workplace Conflicts

How to deal with workplace conflict

View more presentations from Shabbar Suterwala.
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Labels: communication Skills, Conflict Resolution, Connecting, Listening Skills

Communication Skills - Open Ended Questions

If you're a Parent or a Manager you'll find this article to be good, practical, usable tips that you
can apply right away with your kids or your subordinates and I encourage you to practice it out
and see the difference.

"Ask Questions that are Open-Ended rather than Closed-Ended."

For example at home your ask your child a very simple question: "Are you having a good time?"
or "Did you have a good day?" "Did you like the food?" are close-ended questions. They only
require a "yes" or "no" answer. "What things did you enjoy doing?" is open-ended; As is "What
was good about your day?" or "Tell me about your favorite food."

Open-ended questions invites your children to engage in a dialogue with you. They allow your
kids to give more thoughtful responses.The more we can allow our children to do things for
themselves, the more strongly we communicate the message that, "I believe in your ability and
growing skills."

As you get in the habit of using the language of responsibility, you'll be able to see tangible
evidence of your children's growing sense of independence. When we ask our children for their
ideas and suggestions
we are often surprised by the creative practical solutions they present. Our kids are more likely to
follow through with the solutions when they have helped create them.

Friends, isn't the same true for Organizations also?

For example, You as a Boss / Manager instead of asking close ended questions to which the
down line is indifferent, ask open-ended questions like "What do you think we can do on
customer service issue? " or "Tell me your views about the improvement in the product". By
doing so you would start being a Leader and your team would get a feeling of ownership.

"Yes", asking open-ended question will require your conscious effort and a lot of alertness.

So the next time you are dealing with your child or your subordinate/employee/down line just
take a PAUSE and ask the right OPEN ENDED QUESTION, and you will find your
RELATIONSHIP IMPROVES tremendously.

Pls. share your feedback on the same.