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THE ART OF BEING

POPULAR
By Laura CALUIAN and ??????

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WHAT DOES POPULARITY MEAN?

Besides its educational purpose, meaning to offer knowledge and


information to somebody to prepare for a future career, school can also be
a place of socialization, of discovering our own talent to interact with
others and make friends. Quite often, colleagues in primary school or high
school remain good friends for the rest of our life and memories of those
years spent together are the most precious. We gladly talk about them
whenever we meet, we laugh and relive those more or less beautiful
moments, those emotions and dreams of our teenage. And we always ask
each other "What do you know about X or Y?" 'Have you seen them
lately? "
But there is always someone who remains in our mind long after
graduation, someone whom we talk about with admiration even when we
are adults and the teenage has been gone for a long time. It is not necessary
for the person to be our former classmate, but their popularity made us to
feel them like somebody very close to our hearts, very special and never
forget their name. We smile whenever we remember them "Do you
remember Anne / James? What an incredible person! I was always
wondering how could she / he smile all the time and be so special in any
aspect ... ". And that Anne or that James becomes in our words and
memories a mark of our school years, that we always refer to... She / He
was the popular student of our generation.

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But what does „popular” mean? Looking quickly for the word in the
dictionary, we see that the first meaning of this word is: „liked or admired
by many people or by a particular person or group”
(www.oxforddictionaries.com) or „liked by a lot of people”
(http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/popular).
In conclusion, popularity is not just to make you noticed, well-
known, but detach yourself from the others in a positive way, become a
model for them all, inspire them. As a General is followed by his soldiers,
earning their trust and urging them to victory, the same way, a popular
person, with their example, reveals everyone around them the road to self-
discovery.
Each group (here also including your class / group, the band you
belong to, family, friends) has in its midst a person able to ensure its
homogeneity, unity, a leader who draws its path, the direction towards the
group evolves. For the leader, that means a serious responsibility, not only
an advantage. The power of their personal example doesn’t allow them to
deviate from their values / principles that make people follow them. That’s
why, above all, a popular student knows that he must believe in himself
and in all these principles. Only undertaking the leader’s part as something
natural, something that gets out from themselves, they can detach from
others.
First, popularity means responsibility. It is not a reward but a
condition of your student life. It is a brand that does not appear over night,
but defines you as long as you do not let the negativity, lack of confidence
and values pollute you. You must understand and be happy knowing that,

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before being popular, you are a mark, a person who has been given a name
and who has given themselves a value to believe in.
A brand, popularity mean value and you can get it, too. "How can I
do that?" you will ask me confused. "Popularity belongs only certain
people, we can not all be popular, as not everyone can be king. This is the
destiny of very few people, the chosen ones ... ". These are your arguments
when you try to contradict my theory according to which YOU can be a
popular person in your school. But, if you please, let me disagree with you
and say that you have all the necessary resources to become a successful
teenager, perfectly prepared to occupy a leading position in the world, to
open your wings and fly to your dreams.

Can we all be leaders? Can we all be popular?


If, upon reading this material and applying the ideas presented here
in their real life, 10-20-100 young people find their inner power to shape
their own way, preserving their dignity and values, we are happy because
we know that in a very short time, 10-20-100 new leaders will arise in this
world and will contribute greatly to the development of all those around
them. With this book, we do not impose rules or standards, but open doors.
Some others to our own hearts and others to the outside world.
How can you become a successful student? There are several ways to
get you there. Some of them may already be familiar to you, using them in
your everyday life, others may need you to rediscover them or learn how
to use them daily.

1) Intensive study
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A popular student who stands out from the others, is first and
foremost, a winner. He achieves good results in all examinations and tests
and is a loyal partner of teachers throughout the educational process. We
all know that "success is sexy", and getting a leading position in your class
entails sympathy of all the other students of the school.
He who records such a success is not necessarily a nerd, but uses an
effective time use strategy so that they can enjoy their friends’ company,
practice their hobbies or take a trip once in a while. He is just constantly
progressing and looking to improve every mark, result and score. He is in
a permanent competition against himself, concerned with his own
development and training, as a future professional person.
How can you do that? It’s simple: a good time management and
focus on homework and individual projects are perfect ingredients to turn
you from an average student to one with good perspectives, growth
potential and, above all, results.
a) Getting up and going to bed at fixed hours
It may seem childish, especially during adolescence, when there is
the temptation to go to bed later and later, having 8 hours of sleep remains
a vital tool for maintaining physical and mental freshness. The cutting-
edge medicine researches have already concluded that the best hours for
sleep are between 22 pm - 6 am, when our bodies use their capacity for
regeneration and relaxation at fullest. Adolescence is the most tumultuous
period of our development because of the hormonal changes we are going
through. Therefore, the night sleep has to be very relaxing, restful, it has to
become a successful student’s ally. Even though we like to go to bed late
and we feel that we can resist such a program, our body will soon alert us
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that it cannot cope with such a routine, through the inability to focus,
communication difficulties, drowsiness etc. No wonder sleep deprivation
has always been a radical form of torture, affecting the mental capacity of
the defendant, his power to make decisions or to think about even the
simplest things.
So, in order to have a clear mind, opened to research and study, the
successful student must meet the 8 hours of sleep he really needs.
b) Intensive concentration

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There’s no need for you to spend hours in front of the computer or


books, nor in the library, to be effective. Efficiency is given by the positive
results obtained in sufficiently reasonable time span, accurately measured
and used as another tool for success. Focus on work can be learned, it is a
"sport" that involves both body and mind and bring efficiency in the
student’s life. All you have to do is to not let anything distract you in those
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50-60 minutes of study, whether you're at school or at home. In this time,


try to understand the new concepts the best you can, deepen them, to make
your homework carefully, patiently and quietly. If you are at home, you
very well can turn your phone, TV, radio, computer off, so there is no
temptation to "browse" the Facebook site or to reply to any friend on
Messenger. As long as there is nothing urgent that requires your
participation, shut yourself in your room and let family know you're
studying. They will certainly understand, and even keep silent to help you.
At every 50-60 minutes, you can take short breaks of 5-10 minutes each, to
give the body a chance to relax. Meanwhile, you can look out the window
(it is a very good exercise for relaxation) or do some stretching exercises
and eyes and spine will thank you. After these short breaks (take care not
to unnecessarily prolong them, laying yourself you that will recover later)
you can come back to your study totally refreshed.
If you are at school, decide to not let anyone disturb you during
classes. Even if it's harder to ignore the noise around, your colleagues’
notes, pokes, whispers, you should know that is not impossible. In a short
time, your colleagues not only will leave you alone, but they’ll even begin
to the same like you, seeing that your strategy is paying off. And so, notes
and "important" announcements will patiently wait for the break, and you
will be able to develop a partnership relationship with your teacher, a
relationship we’re going to talk about right now.
c) Start with what you don’t like
Even if it may seem difficult, inconvenient and hard to approach, this
method is extremely effective if practiced regularly. What is it? As Brian
Tracy also suggested with his method called "Eat That Frog", you should
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start your work with those details that you find too boring, difficult and
need more time to finish. This method successfully applies to your
homework, exams or tests, individual projects and all those activities that
require more attention and time than usual.
Even though you often tend to keep these difficult activities for last,
with the intention to devote the necessary time and patience “at the right
moment”, you find that you do not have any energy nor attention to take
them to an end. The best method to overcome this tendency to
procrastinate the less pleasant tasks is to start working on them from the
very beginning, focusing on their achievement. As soon as you have
finished them, you will not only feel better but you will find the motivation
and pleasure to move on with other activities. The important thing for you
is to give each activity a certain margin of time to finish. Successful
students don’t only know how to prioritize tasks, but also how much time
to dedicate to each one, so that they can get maximum results in the
shortest time possible.
An effective technique to use time is the one called "tomatoes"
("pommodori" according to Italian name), which is, in fact, sharing time
and tasks to be performed in rounds of 25-30 or 40-50 minutes (according
to your needs and power to focus on your work) when your attention is
exclusively focused on the work to be done. Thus, you can control your
work and to use time in an extremely efficient manner.
d) Developing a partnership relationship with your teacher
The educational process is always a two-way one, based on a close
partnership between "trainer" and "trainee," between mentor and disciple,
between the one who provides a scientific information and the one who
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receives it and learn how to use it in its future development. Most often,
the teaching-learning process is only from teacher to student and may
sometimes be active for the teacher and passive for the student who simply
waits for and gets the information, without sending any feedback to his
teacher. Students are easily attracted by sunlight coming through the
window, a new magazine they read on their lap, or the latest gossip
flowing through school and requiring to be discussed while the teacher
teaches the lesson. Unfortunately, this is not a process of education, but
two totally different activities, the teacher and the students, who fail in
meeting the main purpose of training.
However, the successful student knows that only through an active
involvement, a close collaboration with the teacher, is able to overcome
this obstacle. He asks his teacher questions, acknowledges his limits and
asks for help when he needs more details and explanations. This attitude
indicates maturity, concern for their own future, and respect for the role of
the teacher in their life. Thus, student and teacher become a team, are like
two researchers working hard together for years to show the world what
they already knew:

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success is for anyone


who wants to achieve it
and is ready to pay a price for it . Without being spoiled or fawning, the
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successful student earns the admiration of his teacher who acknowledges


him as his partner and knows that he can rely on him. As a consequence,
good marks obtained by the student are not intended to humiliate the other
classmates, but are a certainty, always a positive result of this
collaboration. History is full of examples of mentors and students who
showed the world that together they can become an unbeatable team and
between them there are no more hierarchical relationships, neither superior
nor inferior, but colleague, partner, equal.
Successful student never thinks about his teacher as an enemy, as an
obnoxious person with absurd requirements, but as a friend and teammate
on this journey of his life.
e) Founding groups of interest
Besides formal friendships on Facebook, and those friends whom he
goes for a walk or plays sports with, the successful student knows he can
get brilliant results when taking part of groups that share the same interest
as of his: intensive study, tests and exams preparation. Such a group can
consist of two members, at least, and study is the main purpose of their
meetings. Whether they meet at one of them place, or at school in a
reading room or library, study groups which include the success student
fully prove their effectiveness, as here they discuss, explain and revise the
new concepts learned at school, work hard to complete the individual
activities of each member. Attention! These meetings are not supposed to
make anyone’s homework, they can be organized once a week or every 2-
3 weeks, depending on the needs of their members.

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We all know that we learn better when we explain something to


someone else, so do not be afraid to organize such groups to help each
other.
2) Health Care
A good mood and ability to focus are often the results of a healthy
lifestyle that popular student has committed and tries not to deviate from.
He knows that a healthy mind completes a healthy body and good health is
a gift that life gives us and needs to be preserved as much as possible.
Unfortunately, we learn how cherish this gift only after we have lost and
then we promise that we will meet all those simple rules of life that our
grandparents were following, that we’ll trade the TV for a run in the park
and a video game for tennis.
a) Exercises
As you have already guessed, the first thing we refer to when talking
about a healthy life is exercises. A few minutes of exercise in the morning
before going to school, together with a strict weekly schedule of practicing
a sport, provides oxygen to the brain, good blood circulation, releases
hormones that make us feel good and enjoy the success. Whether
individual or team sports, winter or summer sports, every young person
knows that sport is good.
Team sports increase the power of networking, communicating with
others, cooperation for victory. Within a team, selfishness disappears and
what remains is only the desire to better collaborate with others in the
pursuit of success. Also, distributive attention grows (you must coordinate
all senses, movements, intentions) to provide fluidity to the game which
the whole team practices, as the coach indicates. Team sports also involve
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your ability to assume a failure equally with colleagues and not blame
anyone else for it. Even if it consists of individuals, the team is a whole
body struggling for one single goal: victory.
On the other hand, individual sports also contribute to the
development of some important skills. Adolescence is not easy, as we
previously mentioned, that’s why sport really helps all who are in this
situation. Being alone, facing their opponent, or fighting timer, length or
weight, the athlete has the opportunity to self-discovery, to see that his
physical and mental potential is far greater than he used to know.
Attention, concentration power is now a tool that he starts to use not only
on the sports field, but also in their everyday life.
Thus, successful student practicing a sport gains the ability to listen
attentively when they are spoken to, to keep their balance in dangerous
situations, gaining the appreciation of others. A strong will and
purposefulness to be the best turn them into models for all the others.
But a well-trained, beautiful body, inspiring health and vitality can
also be the result of some dance classes, not just sports and hard work in
the gym. Due to those elegant moves, the dance has the power to provide
the one who practices it, precision and grace of moves, a well-worked
body without being like that of a bodybuilder. Dance develops artistic
sense and, above all, is a perfect way to get closer to someone you who got
your attention.
Last but not the least, another way to keep fit is jogging. It is perhaps
the most accessible and popular way among many people because it gives
you a larger space to practice it (you're not forced to sit in a gym, but in a
park or a stadium), you can meet many people, socialize, have some fresh
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air and enjoy the scenery. Thus, just like the successful student, do not be
afraid to take your running shoes and get out in the park early in the
morning, 2-3 times a week at least. Once you've got the habit to go out for
a run, you will not give up such a refreshing activity. Studies say a lot of
things about the endorphins released during running, so do not be afraid to
be happy!
b) Healthy food
We can not speak of a healthy lifestyle without mentioning its No. 1
ingredient, namely food. Successful students
know that fruits and vegetables, whole grains,
healthy fats are the only ones that help both
the body and mind, that’s why they include
them in his daily menu. Despite temptations
coming from fast food stores or
advertisements to some kind of energy drink,
responsible teenagers chose those natural
sources, unprocessed
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foods that give them energy and nutrients for the whole day. Hormonal
changes that occur during this period of life can create a healthy and
attractive body, a healthy mind, only if supported by vitamins, minerals,
nutrients obtained from a healthy diet.
Germs and sprouts, dairy, ocean fish, lean meats, home made foods,
as little as possible processed, eggs and greens salads have the power to
detoxify the body and prepare it for those more tensed moments of a
teenager’s life: a contest to be prepared, a difficult exam, tests, projects
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etc. Also, girls know that cereals germs are very helpful to have a rich and
beautiful hair, porcelain-like skin and an increased capacity of
concentration while the 8 glasses of water help enormously to each cell
hydration and their optimal operation.
c) No addictions
Unfortunately, adolescence is that moment of life when those so-
called "sweet temptations" such as smoking, alcohol, coffee, drugs, or
energizers are discovered. Because of curiosity, their strong will to look
more mature and gain authority and admiration from their colleagues and
friends, teenagers start using these substances, products which make them
feel better, increase their self-confidence and to give them illusion of
control. Even if they take it as a joke at the beginning, many of them end
up in dangerous situations because they don’t know how to stop
consuming them.
Their young body quickly becomes a victim of these enemies, and
the phrase "everything is under control" proves its uselessness. Things get
worse, teenagers no more can make the difference between good and bad,
risking their health, life, freedom just to get a cigarette, a glass of alcohol
or a few extra hours spent in the club. They get in a vicious circle, in a
game of life and death where they cannot get out but defeated, unless they
ask for help.

3. Positive attitude
No matter how tired and upset would popular students be, they
always find the power to smile, tell jokes and offer good humor and
support to all those around. It is well known that persons with a positive
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attitude are surrounded by people, are beautiful and popular, are sought for
that joy and optimism they transmit. A smile is the most beautiful
accessory, especially when it is honest, natural, when it comes from the
bottom of your heart, builds bridges between you and others, and cheerful
people are like lanterns which illuminate dark streets and are searched for
that sense of peace and security they release. Even when you're on the
phone and cannot see the face of the person you’re speaking to, they will
be more open and feel more comfortable if they feel a smile in your voice.
No matter how beautiful somebody is, they will completely lose their
popularity unless they are able to complete their beauty with a smile.
Attention! The smile does not have to look like an unattractive mask, an
immovable grin that pushes all the others away, thus having the opposite
effect.

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A successful person starts his day thinking positive and goes to bed
the same way. They have no time to fill their minds with grudges and
grievances, finding opportunities in every challenge of life and get
successfully over any unpleasant moment. Everybody is surprised with
their power of rebirth from their own ashes and see them as spoiled by the
goddess Fortuna. But it is not like that ... life is the same for everyone, but
it is us who make it easy or difficult, and a successful person knows that.
Therefore, they accept everything that comes on their way, they are
focused on solutions but not on problems and struggle hard to make their
dreams come true. Fails don’t even exist for successful people. This does
not mean that they are successful all the time, but they have the power to
see "results different from objectives" where others see failure. Let’s not
forget that this kind of attitude helped Thomas Edison invent the light bulb
after thousands of failed experiments, that he considered only "thousands
of different ways to reach the only viable solution."
Although at this age most young people are unhappy with
themselves, the way they look or their place in the family or society,
successful students do not waste their time with such negative thoughts.
They know they have more important goals to achieve and, above all, they
love themselves very much, for what they are and represent. They don’t
care too much about the others' opinion, don’t deprive themselves of
anything to save mere appearances, but simply appreciate and love just the
way they are and strive to become the best version of themselves. They
don’t compete anyone, but themselves, and this thing gives them that self-
confidence, that attitude that makes them known, telling all the others
"Hey, I'm the best! Try to be like me, enjoy your life and what you are”.
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Attention, this self-love should not be turned into selfishness or egotism, it


must reflect maturity, acceptance of one's own being, understanding of its
mission in the world and joy of being yourself.
But self-confidence can be learned, it is not a gift of nature, and
everyone can have it. We’re not talking about vanity, nor conceit here, nor
that self-sufficiency that makes you look up at all around you, but the
ability to build your personal brand, painstakingly, wisely, and accepting
your ups and downs. We cannot all be models, nor Usain Bolt, but we can
all look at us in the mirror, with admiration, every morning and see how
unique, beautiful and perfect we are. A simple statement "I like myself",
constantly repeated, has the power to bring a very good mood and self-
confidence in every person, it helps you to build your self-esteem.
A successful student does not care about their flaws, but their
qualities they promote and carefully cultivate as some precious gifts.
Optimism, good social and communication capacity, athletic talent,
scientific or artistic talent, power to inspire and encourage the others, all
these facts can really say something about a person, but not their clothes
brand or exotic destinations they have recently visited.
Popular students believe in the power of friendship even when people
let them down, because they’re convinced that everyone can be good and
generous. Through their power to forgive, they prove not only their
spiritual balance, but also moral strength. Therefore, they get positive
results and as students, but also as members of their family, society to
which they belong, becoming models and inspiring the others.
They enjoy the beauty of each day, they are a free bird that sings and
brings sunshine and joy here on earth. They’re one of those who change
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the world, because history of mankind has fully proved that only those
with a positive attitude, believing in themselves and the others are the ones
who can truly change the world. Great inventions were born first in the
hearts of brave ones, those who dared to dream and "see" beyond what was
around them.

4) Appearance
Let us not be hypocrites: our appearance matters. It is our business
card, label through which we communicate to those around us about how
we feel. For a long time already, clothes have lost the only function, to
protect us from cold, and have become an extension of our personality. We
remember somebody only after a detail of their clothes, a jewel or the way
they folded the scarf around their neck. In some cultures, colors, cloths
speak of social class, status, setting one's place in society.
Clothes and appearance are even more important when it comes to
teenagers. Even when wearing uniforms, students know what details to use
to stand out, to be different from their colleagues, to promote their own
personality. Why this desire for affirmation? Because we all want to
distinguish from the "others" whom we perceive as a compact mass where
that try to escape from. A special hairdo, a new perfume, some funny
accessories, all these give us that unique touch that we want in the very
first years of our life. That permanent search of our own identity manifests
itself in the way we dress, try to create our own image, that significant
feature to remind the world of "ME". Therefore, especially as teenagers,
when their need to be acknowledged is extremely high, students make use
of various methods to put themselves into highlight. This is the moment
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when they discover vivid colors (girls, mainly), such as pink, black,
electric blue, bold haircuts (punk, long hair or even totally bald), oversized
accessories, sparkling colored nails, chains, necklaces, earrings, piercings,
tattoos, all these meant to take their owner out of anonymity. They say
that the first 30 seconds are crucial to get an impression about a person
whom we see for the first time, therefore, by their non-conformist
appearance, teenagers
immediately transmit messages
about how they feel, "Hey, look,
I am a big fan of Metallica
band, "" I'm a precious girl,
proud of my collection of heels
and my cute chiwawa. "
Moreover, teenagers’
clothes reveal their musical
tastes, or their membership to a
fan group or musical trend. By
appearance, people send around
their own values, education they
got from parents or, on the
contrary, that rebel fight against
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social norms. There are not few the ones who rebel against society, by
wearing those kinds of outfit to shock and grab attention, to get them out
of anonymity.

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Successful student knows all this and also knows that the beauty of
clothes must be completed by genuineness, that feeling of "feeling good in
your own skin", by coziness. Many girls exaggerate the height of their
heels and the shortness of their skirt in a desperate attempt to be sexy,
provocative, irresistible. The result, unfortunately, is nothing but sad and
painful: feet and spine tormented, ironic smiles from the boys. Although
not attracted a lot by make-up and unable to distinguish well a blush and
from powder, guys still can make the difference between a natural, discreet
make up, highlighting facial features and exaggerated makeup,
transforming figure in a grotesque tableau, eliminating even the finest
trace of femininity.
At the same time, girls do not like boys' sometimes exaggerated
gestures, that scoffer and aggressive way in which they speak, spit, kick
things around, just in order to be more "macho" than Antonio Banderas.
No need to turn them all into teddy bears, but an exacerbate display of
physical and verbal aggression is not equivalent to the idea of manliness,
kindness, manners as girls want.
However, there are situations when outfits all covered with images of
skulls, naughty messages, chains together with that aggression mentioned
above may actually hide a certain shyness, lack of self-confidence. Yes, it
happens for someone to wear the "bad boy" clothes just to say those who
look at him: "Hey, can you see it? I am a "bad boy", I’m powerful and
dangerous. Stay away from me”. But deep down, this" bad boy "can be
quite reluctant, hesitant, lacking self-confidence.

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That’s why, the attitude must complete appearance. As we previously


said, an honest and natural smile can be the most appropriate accessory,
the only one that can highlight a brand, but not vice versa.
Wishing to be adult as soon as possible, girls tend to dress too
"elegant", lady-like, trying to step over some stages of their development,
through their clothes. Perhaps this fact comes from childhood, when all the
girls stare fascinated at their mothers and pray from the bottom of their
heart to grow up faster in order to be allowed to wear similar clothes and
shoes, to put similar make-up or have similar haircuts. Other girls start
exhausting diets in order to lose weight and look like models on magazine
covers without realizing how much they endanger their health and even
their lives. This is a fatal mistake that successful and mature student never
makes. The difference between happiness and unhappiness doesn’t derive
from the exhaustion of the body, from diseases caused by these terrible
diets. No! Happy teenage means healthy lifestyle with sport, socializing,
sleep schedule and no addiction whatsoever (fats, fast food, energy,
tobacco, caffeine, drugs, etc.).

5) Nurturing a talent
If during our childhood we dream to become whatever seems
extraordinary to us, unusual, spectacular (astronaut, Tooth Fairy, fireman,
Spiderman, etc), teenage also means that crystallization of our vision about
life and ourselves as well. We start to "create" an image of our way to
come, to find out what are the development options for us in the coming
years.

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And it is now the moment when we discover and realize the presence
of a talent, of that feature that makes us unique, that entirely belongs to us
and often leads us on our path, if we know how to listen to its voice.
Although they say that this is still a period of search, questions
required to be answered, adolescence can sometimes be the right moment
when someone decides to walk on a certain road, guided by their inner
gift, or, unfortunately, influenced by the social environment, prejudices or
convenience, to quit fighting now, few seconds before they can achieve
perfection.
Even if someone sings very well from their childhood, having a
promising future ahead, they must successfully pass through adolescence,
struggle hard to move forward toward their personal victory. Successful
teenagers work to develop their talent, whether it is music, dance, painting,
sports, science or cooking. Now it is the time when friends tell them more
often: "Forget about your workouts / rehearsals, can’t you see how boring
and tedious they are? Come with us, we’ll wait for you at the theatre". But
nobody can understand this burning longing that makes the successful
student repeat again and again, the same moves, the same tunes, to achieve
perfection. Tired, in the gym or at the piano, they must sometimes fight
against their own demons, their own doubts: "Is it worth doing this? Is that
what I really want to do? "But something deep inside pushes them to go
on, as they and their work are one now. What would pop music have been
today if Michael Jackson had given up singing as teenager? And yes, we
must understand that he also had moments of frustration, sadness and
uncertainty. And yet, his fantastic talent was his master until the moment
of his death. Burning like a flame on the world’s scenes, Michael has
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fulfilled his destiny, bringing so many people closer, telling them about
love and charming them with his dance steps.
How would the world athletics have been today without Usain Bolt's
long hours of training? What we see on TV is just a drop in the ocean, but
the huge amount of work is somewhere else, hidden from cameras. Has
Usain ever had his moments of doubt, extreme fatigue? Of course he has.
He is aware of the fact that competitions turn strangers into heroes, but
they are ruthless with losers. There is
fear and uncertainty when you're
champion, knowing that anyone better
than you can occur anytime, but nothing
compares to YOUR moment of glory,
that moment when your talent and hard
work are fully rewarded with admiration
and respect of the world.
God didn’t create us for
mediocrity, laziness and lack of
confidence. He gave us the best features
to make us grow and become well-
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known in this world. But this recognition should not make us proud nor
selfish, but rather should be used to change the world for the better.
Therefore, great athletes, musicians, actors set up foundations to help other
people, other young persons to find their own potential and path in life.
Talent is a tool that we receive at birth and we can improve the world
through its proper and full use. Therefore, giving up on its development
too soon brings frustration and that feeling of emptiness, of uselessness. A
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motivational author, Stephen K Scott, said that "Success is the desire of


our soul" and we fully agree with him, stating that this word "success" is
not synonymous with "infatuation", "pride", but it refers to our personal
mission that needs to be fulfilled by cultivating our native talents. As we
work hard to purchase food and soothe hunger of the body, so we must
work to meet the needs of the soul, and success is actually that perfection
for which we were created.
Successful teenagers can do the same: with his prizes and public
recognition, they become not only models for their colleagues, but also a
link, a connection, gathering everyone around a common cause. There are
well-known cases of young people coming from the ghettos, orphanages,
environments hostile to personal development, found their talent to dance,
sing, act, play basketball, inspired by a friend / neighbor of theirs.
Thus, nurturing a talent becomes a dual responsibility: for yourself
and for those you inspire. You are responsible for you because you are not
allowed to waste your gift that you got for free. This is not the right
moment to list all those painful cases of actors, musicians, athletes who
failed or lost their lives due to drug use, who lost their talent, attracted by
the lure of gambling and that perfect life offered by these evil substances.
At the same time, you are responsible for the people you inspire, as they
will appreciate and follow you would unconditionally, they’ll believe in
you and will give their best to be like you. Now there are millions of
children in this world who work hard to become another Michael Jackson
or Usain Bolt, inspired by how these guys could change the world, telling
us all that man can attain perfection in his work, through talent and
strenuous work.
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Aware of these facts, no successful teen forgets about his divine


spark, this personal talent, this gift that makes them unique. Now, between
13 and 18 - 19 years, it is the “crystallization time” when we either move
forward, ready for victory and superhuman work, or we give up our inner
calling, kill it just to choose the more convenient option to do nothing. But
a convenient life, without any rewards, but also without any work, without
any prizes, but without any risk, is nothing else but survival from one day
to another, a day that is unique, never coming back, unable to give us a
second chance.
Regardless of the amount of work done, the sacrifices made,
successful teenagers nurture their talent because they know that it makes
them unique, it is their personal brand, the only way they can speak out to
the whole world: through color, sound, mathematics, metaphors or dance
motions. There is no person devoid of talent, everyone has a gift that must
be identified and exposed, developed, improved day by day. Talent is not
enough to make yourself known, it must be accompanied by hard work
and that strong WILL to excel. Also, unfortunately, it is the detail that
many ignore, waiting for the talent they have to turn them into stars
overnight without any effort.
And Bruce Lee said: "I'm not afraid of the one who knows 1000
different hits, but the one who practiced one hit for 1000 times."

6) Relationships. Communication skills


It is well-known that "nobody succeeded by himself." Even if
someone claims something like this, don’t believe them. Starting from the
very moment we were brought into this world, protected from dangers,
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educated, we can see that our life is nothing else but the sum of others’
efforts to help us enjoy what we are and have now. Therefore, we can say
that the relationships we develop, initiate them are essential in the way our
life goes on. Isolated, not loving people around us, we don’t do anything
else but accumulate frustration, imaginary faults attributed to others,
reasons to push them further and further. It is exactly as though you cut a
branch from a tree: with no contact with common life with, the rest of the
body, the branch dies.
Studies have shown that people with a large enough network of
friends are healthier, live longer and have a positive attitude, unlike loners
who do not want to join a group for various reasons.
Successful student cannot be a loner. His / Her popularity makes
them appreciated, loved and admired by everyone around them who long
for their presence. Attention, popularity, friendship do not mean pride,
vanity! On the contrary, that incredible joy of being with friends, creating
new relationships, adding new “bricks” to the personal construction, all
this sends popular students in the middle of their colleagues, friends, it
helps them to be a son or daughter just the way all the parents want.
Supporting friends, being happy for their success, suffering together with
them, all this is a part of successful young people’s philosophy of life
because, above all, they love people.
Love is the main foundation relationships are supposed to be built,
and esteem and empathy are its concrete manifestations. When you
"choose" to love someone, you first choose to respect them (even if they’re
younger or more inexperienced than you) and then to understand them, to
"read" their soul, trying to feel the same way they feel. As you can see, I
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said "you choose to love someone" and no, I was not wrong. Love is
something people choose to do it or not: we choose to be kind to someone
who needs help, we choose not to notice the flaws of people around us, we
choose to have peace and tranquility in our family, at school or at our
meetings with friends and, especially, we choose to forgive those who hurt
us. Love is a lesson that can be learned and a successful person has already
turned this lesson into the light that leads them on their path of life.
True friendships are among the most beautiful things that somebody
can get in their life through patience, wisdom and attention. And long
friendships are those that develop offline, and less in cyberspace. If
someone asks us how many friends we have got, we tend immediately to
say, "150", "237", even more than "1000 Friends" ....on Facebook.
Attention, those are not our friends, many of them are simple
acquaintances. True friends are few and they contribute to our
development in a way or another. True friendship was born out of love and
spirit of sacrifice and leads automatically to progress.
Identifying true friends can be a difficult task, but it is not like that at
all. In this purpose, we only need a great amount of patience. Friendship
passes successfully the test of time and real friends help us grow, as I said
before.
What does that mean? It means that friends should be those who
benefit us unconditionally, who want us to be happy and healthy. Most
times, siblings or parents can be our best friends, but also someone outside
the family who can show us where we are wrong, due to their objectivity.
But if someone asks us to do something illegal, jeopardizing our health
and safety, if they ask us, in the name of friendship, to help them do
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something dangerous, then we should know that that person is not our
friend. There are well-known many cases when young people surrendered
to their so-called friends’ urges and requests and got into trouble, in
conflict with entreaties urging or so-called friends and people in conflict
with the law that could not see any evidence of friendship here, but crime.
A successful young fellow is totally aware of this fact, so they
choose their social network very carefully, keeping only those people who
help them fly to the sun, but not destroy their life. There is no problem if
we get away from people who hurt us in one way or another. Our ideal
goal is to reach heaven through praiseworthy thoughts and deeds, but not
crime.
A good relationship with others, maintaining a network of friends to
always teach us something good, also requires good communication skills.
They used to say that the man able to write a letter was a happy man, as he
could express his thoughts in such a way as to gain the admiration of all
women. The same thing happens now, in modern times, even if the goose
feather was replaced by keyboard. The ability to communicate both in
writing and speaking, is one of the best ways to achieve success, as it
reflects a good capacity to organize ideas, to identify the most suitable
terms and have the most explicit gestures. A good communicator is the
voice of many others, he is the only one that best convey the thoughts and
feelings of his generation.
The good news is that this talent can be acquired, developed, even if
we sometimes tend to say that communication is an innate ability. And the
young fellow knows exactly what is the perfect place where he can learn
how to communicate: the library. Although we live in the 21st century,
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when the Internet and cable television have become a reality so present in
our lives that we wonder even now how could we have lived so many
years without them, books still remain the basis of our education, the
library is the only place where we can continue our personal development
even upon graduation. While watching TV encourages passive inert,
stationary thinking, books develop our
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imagination and creative thinking. While everything that our family does
in the evening is
simply to watch some
pictures, images,
forgetting to interact
and talk to each other,
the books encourage
us to tell what we
read, talk about it, to
COMMUNICATE.

As a good communicator, the successful and popular student, is from


the very beginning a passionate reader, a "bookworm", without turning
into a lonely nerd. Many times we think that reading on the Internet is a
form of education. Well…Wrong idea! Browsing the Internet is not a
productive activity, as you’re attracted to do many things at the same time:
first you search for a story about blue whales, then you remember about
your friends and you're wondering what other pictures they have posted on
their Facebook accounts, then you notice that you have just received an
email and your sister has just sent you a smiley on Messenger. No, this is
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not right. The best way for you to study, to read is the total detachment
from your computer: either you go to another room with your books or
turn off your computer and start reading. And nothing more.
As we can see, popular students master two necessary aspects of life:
good interpersonal relationships and communication skills. But there is
good news: both of these aspects can easily be learned! A network of good
friends and the ability to communicate are not the privilege of the chosen
ones only, all of us can learn and even
excel in these domains. Depends only on
how much we want to do that!

7) Volunteering
Popularity is love. Popular persons
are admired, loved, they get smiles
wherever they go. "It’s such a beautiful
life!" you’ll say on the spot. "It's
wonderful to enjoy everybody’s love!"
But things are not so simple. Why?
Because popularity is love to be offered to
others. Popular student gives more love than he / she gets. When they are
honest,
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ready to help and their hearts are open, only in these circumstances they
receive love as a reward. The strong relationship which appears between
them and the other people is genuine because it is built on love.
As you can see, we saved this feature last, for its importance
surpasses all the others. While we can all be athletes, positive persons or
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make the others note us through our clothes, loving people unconditionally
is really hard, even when they drive us crazy or hurt us. He who thinks that
popularity is a privilege is totally wrong: first of all, successful teen (future
successful adult) loves all people equally, he / she cares about their
suffering and is deeply preoccupied to make the world a better place.
These are not empty words, spoken out just to impress people, but they are
the principles according to which they lead their lives, values that they
believe in.
How can we make the world a better place? Through hard work,
love, commitment, passion, faith, all offered unconditionally. Therefore,
successful teenager is involved as a volunteer in various activities meant to
attract public attention to the main problems humanity is facing now:
pollution, unnecessary wars, children or old people abandoned in
orphanages and asylums, poverty, disease, rivers and seas infested with
chemicals, endangered species, etc. All these are the main ways we can
make the world more beautiful and teenagers are among the few social
groups that engage in such activities, totally, sincerely and enthusiastically.
With their pure hearts, which they still have from their childhood, but with
the responsibility of future adults, young people know that changing the
world starts with our change.
”I'm Starting With The Man In
The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change
His Ways
And No Message Could Have
Been Any Clearer
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If You Wanna Make The World


A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And
Then Make A Change!” (Michael Jackson – Man in the Mirror)
Through social networking, forums on the internet young people’s
mobilization is much easier to be done now and successful students lead
their schoolmates, involving them in various charitable activities.
Volunteering means, first of all, organizational, communication and
networking skills, and this is the basis on which life long friensdhips are
born. To volunteer means to love people, nature, everything that is
beautiful and needs help. Mankind has examples of people who dedicated
their entire life to helping whole communities, doing what ordinary people
find it very difficult. Such an example is Mother Teresa who has remained
in the heart of the entire world for the love she offered to the poor and sick
and is a model of devotion and effort to make the world better.
At the same time, in addition to noble actions, volunteering is also an
opportunity to discover your future career: registered nurse, veterinarian or
physician, counselor, etc.. Any activity, serving the others is welcome,
noble and blessed, as it means giving up on selfishness and the idea of
profit. As Derek Mills says in his book ”The 10-Second Philosophy”,
”Giving a service” is not the same as ”serving others”. Anyone can give a
service, but it must be your ”intention” to live to serve others” 1. This is the
philosophy of a leader who puts himself at his people’s service, guiding
them to success. He does not dominate them, but he make them follow him
through love and wisdom. He knows that love is the link, the thing that
1
Derek Mills – 10 Second Philosophy, A Practical Guide to Releasing Your Genius, Hay House UK Ltd, 2012,
www.hayhouse.co.uk
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keeps people together, making humanity to move forward on its way in


history.
With love and compassion, understanding human nature, successful
teenager shows maturity and differs completely from their entire
generation. He / She is the leader who will soon appear in the world.
As you can see, these main features can turn any teenager into a real
leader, a succesful and popular person. Remember: popularity is a
resposability, it requires love and understanding, maturity and wisdom.
If each person reading this material does their best to turn this world
into a betetr place to live, starting with their own inner change, then we all
will know that tomorrow our world will witness the blessed rise of new
leaders. We all need that, our next generations need that. So, don’t be
afraid to be as good as you can! Don’t be afraid of perfection!
You’re never given a dream without being given the power to make
that dream come true!

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