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Want to Lead a Happy Life? Science Says to

Focus on These 10 Things
WRITTEN BY GUEST · 24 COMMENTS
Note: This is a guest post from Jay Harrington of Life and Whim.

After a long, brutal winter, it feels great to be outside again in a t-shirt,

even if the temperatures aren’t climbing much beyond fifty degrees here in
northern Michigan. In our community, which was recently buried in snow,
people are out in force, combing beaches for rocks, riding bikes, hiking
trails, cruising on paddle boards, and celebrating spring’s arrival. In
addition to short sleeves, lots of people are wearing beaming smiles on
their faces.

Happiness is in the air. This is true despite the fact that the weather hasn’t
even been that great—it just seems great relative to what we’re used to.

Come fall, however, after a long, hot summer, we will start longing for cool,
crisp air, and even (for some of us) the first snowflakes flying which will
signal the coming ski season. The cycle of expectations and adaptation will
then repeat.

As humans, we are always chasing rainbows. We want something—be it

different weather, a better job, or a bigger house—but shortly after getting
it, we want something different. We adapt to our circumstances, they
become the “new normal,” and we want more.

This phenomenon is called “hedonic adaptation.” It’s a term coined by

psychologists Brickman and Campbell in the 1970s to explain our tendency
as human beings to chase happiness, only to return back to our original
emotional baseline after getting what we want. We run on a hedonic
treadmill, and get nowhere, despite exerting massive effort along the way.
A belief that “bigger and better” leads to more happiness results,
paradoxically, in less of it. We work really hard because we want more. We
obtain more, and the shine soon wears off. So we work harder, in pursuit of
even more, and become less happy as a result. The beat goes on.

It’s clear from the science that the acquisition of bigger and better things
won’t make us more happy. So what will?

It’s the Journey not the Destination

In his book Happier , Harvard lecturer Tal Ben-Shahar defines the “arrival
fallacy,” which is a corollary to the concept of hedonic adaptation. He
describes the arrival fallacy as: “The false belief that reaching a valued
destination can sustain happiness.”
I’ve certainly fallen victim to the arrival fallacy, having felt at first elated,
then almost immediately letdown, following job promotions, raises, and
new car or home purchases. I wanted these things so badly, but the reality
of obtaining them was far different than my expectations.

In an interesting study from the 1970s, researchers studied the happiness

levels of two different groups of people: lottery winners and accident
victims. The surprising result of the study was that, once the initial elation
of winning the lottery and shock of the accident wore off, both groups
returned to their original levels of happiness. Over the long-term, these
drastically different external events—one seemingly positive and the other
negative—had no appreciable impact on happiness.
If winning the lottery won’t make us happier, what will? Ben-Shahar
suggests that it is not reaching a particular destination (metaphorically
speaking) that makes us happy, but rather learning to appreciate the
journey toward the destination:

Attaining lasting happiness requires that we enjoy the journey on our way
toward a destination we deem valuable. Happiness is not about making it
to the peak of the mountain nor is it about climbing aimlessly around the
mountain; happiness is the experience of climbing toward the peak.
In this sense, ambition, itself, is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s a very good
thing. If humans did not want for more then we’d still be living in caves,
without access to basic, modern human necessities such as electricity and
clean water, nor marvels of human ingenuity such as modern medicine, art,
and technology.

Problems arise when we allow the unending pursuit of growth and

acquisition to inhibit our pursuit of happiness. Both ambitions—happiness
and growth—can coexist, but only in balance. Growth can crowd out
happiness if you’re not careful.

One of the most important and growing costs of the modern way of life is
‘cultural fraud’: the promotion of images and ideals of ‘the good life’ that
serve the economy but do not meet psychological needs, nor reflect social
realities. —Richard Eckersley
I would, of course, never presume to suggest that I know what makes you,
or anyone else, happy. We all have distinct visions, preferences, and
desires for our lives. But years of scientific research suggests that certain
things make most of us happy. In particular, happiness is not derived from
attaining outward signals of success (bigger and better in order to “keep up
with the Joneses”), but rather seeking satisfaction from new and novel
experiences in pursuit of a life well lived.

10 Ways to Cultivate More Happiness

What types of experiences pay the biggest happiness dividends?

I recently attended a conference in New Orleans and the keynote speaker

was University of Amherst professor Catherine A. Sanderson, author
of Science of Happiness. She is known as “The Happiness Professor.”
Sanderson explained that there are 10 ways to increase your everyday
happiness, according to decades worth of scientific research:
1. Make little changes in your daily routine, such as getting more sleep,
exercising, getting out into nature, and meditating.
2. Read more books. Read books to learn—research suggests that
lifelong learners remain healthy and engaged, and live long lives. Read
books as an escape from your everyday life, Read books—it will make
you happy.
3. Find your right fit or match, both personally and professionally. If
you love what you do and who you are with, you’ll position yourself for
personal happiness and professional success.
4. Be grateful. Sanderson suggested two specific activities to help foster a
greater sense of gratitude. First, keep a daily gratitude journal. Second,
pay a “gratitude visit” to someone from your past who has had a significant
impact on your life, and let them know how you feel.
5. Smile more—even if you don’t feel like it. Research shows that the
simple act of smiling can trick your brain into a happier state.
6. Relish simple, everyday moments. Appreciating life’s small
moments, such as a beautiful, sunny day, green shoots sprouting from the
ground, and skipping rocks at the beach, teaches you to be more grateful
for what you have, especially during moments of stress and angst.
7. Perform random acts of kindness. Do good deeds. Volunteer. Be
charitable. Shop (for someone else!). Numerous studies have shown that
you can help yourself by doing good for others.
8. Spend money on experiences versus things. Studies have shown
that buying an object—a car, handbag, or kitchen gadget—can quickly lead
to buyer’s remorse. On the other hand, investing in experiences—a
concert, a camping trip, music lessons—leads to greater happiness.
Experiences create “happiness residue,” and our perceptions of them often
get better over time.
9. Avoid comparisons. Whatever you may think of someone else’s life,
particularly as viewed through the phony, filtered lens of social media, it’s
almost certainly messier than you imagine. It’s easier to embrace, and
learn to love, your own imperfections, if you don’t conjure up myths about
how perfect everyone else’s lives seem.
10. Build and maintain close relationships. According to Sanderson,
having a small number of tight, meaningful relationships is one of the
highest predictor of happiness.
Don’t feel bad if you lose sight of some of these happiness priorities—we
all do. We have to battle relentless marketing and societal expectations
that suggest that the path to happiness lies elsewhere.

People are exposed to many messages that encourage them to believe

that a change of weight, scent, hair color (or coverage), car, clothes, or
many other aspects will produce a marked improvement in their happiness.
Our research suggests a moral, and a warning: Nothing that you focus on
will make as much difference as you think. —Daniel Kahneman
Don’t over-complicate your pursuit of happiness. As the research suggests,
it’s the simple things that matter most. Make happiness a habit that is
within your control, rather than seeking it from external sources. Life is
nothing but a series of moments, both big and small, and the key to
happiness lies is living each one with purpose and intention.
***

Jay Harrington is a “reformed lawyer” turned author and entrepreneur, and

blogs at Life and Whim where he helps people find purpose and live big
through small moments. You can also find him on Facebook.
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 About Joshua Becker
Writer. Inspiring others to live more by owning less.
WSJ Bestselling author of The More of Less.
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Comments

1. Mike Wanek says

May 3, 2018 at 6:23 AM
AMEN! What a breath of fresh air. Once we get over our “things to make
me happy” mentality we can truly find that fulfillment in life is reached
simply by LIVING and being a part of the world that has been created for
us. When we notice our surroundings it is easy to be grateful.

Reply
2. Jack Grimes says
May 3, 2018 at 6:43 AM
YES. It can so simple and easy to do all ten of these things to be happy
and it is so simple and easy to not do any of them and be unhappy. It is
always my choice. Thank-you.

Reply

3. Dads Dollars Debts says

May 3, 2018 at 6:45 AM
Trying to find enjoyment in the daily things is what I have found to be most
productive on my journey. And doing what you enjoy while being
surrounded by people you love and trust cannot be underestimated. Great
morning read. Have a good day.

Reply

4. Ashley Logsdon says

May 3, 2018 at 6:56 AM
Love this! It’s so true. We decided that the best path to happiness was
simplifying the complexities we had in our lives – the clutter, the
obligations, and confinement. We downsized to a 240 square foot travel
trailer and have been RVing the States full time since October 2016. What
we’ve found is that our happiness is not based on the location, and it’s not
something we can simply wait for perfect circumstances…it’s a choice. To
live in gratitude, to embrace the moment, and to strive for connection with
 others. This is where we find happiness. In our tiny home, we are happy
with little and our hearts still remain full. Thanks for the excellent post!

Reply

5. Brian Evans says

May 3, 2018 at 7:36 AM
I love this post. I’m in the process of simplifying. It’s not about the material
goods we have. For me, happiness comes from the time I can spend with
the people I care about. Finding gratitude and being thankful for the
moments I can share with those people really brightens my life. Thank you
for the great post!

Reply

6. Sarah says
May 3, 2018 at 7:48 AM
Smile more, even if you don’t feel like It? That’s what number 5 says.
But that’s just not being “real”.
I’m not sure I agree with all of the the article.

Reply

o No says
May 3, 2018 at 9:47 AM
 Multiple studies have demonstrated a strong correlation there. That
said, pretty weak article.

Reply

7. Marsha says
May 3, 2018 at 8:36 AM
Good post. Thanks.

Reply

8. Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com says

May 3, 2018 at 9:10 AM
I so agree with every single one of your ideas. And even though I blog
about much of the same things myself, I don’t think any of us can hear this
message too much. Thank you!

Reply

9. Daer says
May 3, 2018 at 9:29 AM
Only rich people afford to be minimalist.

Reply
 o Justin says
May 5, 2018 at 5:01 AM
Poor people can’t afford NOT to be

Reply

10. laura ann says

May 3, 2018 at 3:47 PM
Meaningful relationships (close friends): Several of my closest friends
passed on in recent years, leaving a void for sometime. We had wonderful
times together.
Another one is in bad shape health wise (we are all retirees). I have to
have like minded friends with common sense. People like that are not easy
to find. Pruning old dead end relationships we outgrow, is a must. Dump
people that drag you down, are shallow, etc. Friends you had when
younger may be different people today. I spend much time reading and
outdoor activities. Have done much decluttering over past year, less stress
less housework.

Reply

11. PRANITA DESHPANDE says

May 4, 2018 at 3:36 AM
Very nice message to us. Thanks for nice post.

Reply
12. PRANITA DESHPANDE says
May 4, 2018 at 3:36 AM
Very nice message to us.

Reply

13. Bill Peterson says

May 4, 2018 at 4:43 AM
This is one of the best articles I’ve read on the Minamalists’ movement
toward simplicity and happiness. We all must swim up steam against the
larger system that tries to drown us into believing our happiness lies
outside ourselves.

Reply

14. Sarita says

May 5, 2018 at 2:53 AM
Be mindful..

Reply

15. Liz says

 May 5, 2018 at 8:49 AM
Happiness to you and thank-you for your inspiring words. The self-gift of
awareness with meditation and mindfulness is most often the best place to
start the “happiness journey”. There is always hope that more happiness
brings more peace- yet it’s inner peace that brings more happiness.

Reply

16. Barry Cash says

May 5, 2018 at 1:46 PM
Rich people don’t seem happy they always want more, more, more. They
can’t use it all so how can it make them happy? We are being conned by
capitalism to believe that buying more will bring happiness but it doesn’t.

Reply

17. Lani says

May 5, 2018 at 1:55 PM
A most wonderful article! I simply cannot be reminded enough of such
beauty in each and every point of your article. Thank you for you
inspiration today!

Reply

18. Roxane says

May 5, 2018 at 2:01 PM
 Love it! Great Hana pic too. Waioka (Venus Pool) is one of my happy
places.

Reply

19. K says
May 5, 2018 at 4:31 PM
Nice article, but he omitted one very critical ingredient to achieving
happiness, which is a personal relationship with God through His Son,
Jesus Christ. Without that, there will always be a cosmic size void that only
God, (Yahweh) Himself can fill.

Reply

20. Jackie says

May 5, 2018 at 6:30 PM
I so agree.

Reply

21. Jo says
May 6, 2018 at 1:46 AM
Thank you for this fantastic article – it’s all so true that it’s the simple things
that make us happy. In the past I have set myself tough goals and once I
have reached the pinnacle – I find myself disappointed and realise that the
journey behind me was what it was all about (if only had been more
present then and not so goal orientated). Now I take my time to enjoy the
 journey and am less tough on myself. I have changed careers to something
I am passionate about and the rest seems to be following in terms of
happiness and CONTENTMENT.

Reply

22. Nel says

May 6, 2018 at 3:00 AM
No, thanks. This is Crap advice. ignore the reality and build your own.

Reply

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