Rhino Attack

hamodia.com/columns/rhino-attack

One of the worst things about a cold (I’m feeling much better, thank you, and thank G-d — not
necessarily in that order), is that it’s so infernally undignified. I’m not complaining, mind you … I
count my blessings.

I think one reason the sniff-hack-kerchoo (definitely a case for Dr. Seuss) is so low down the
totem pole of ailments, is the terminology. How seriously can you relate to something called
“the common cold”?

Oxford English Dictionary has citations going back to 1712 for the phrase “catch one’s death of
cold.” But it’s understood to be an exaggeration.

William Safire began a column, “My eyes water as I write this: I am afflicted with coryza. That’s
a fancy but time-honored name, pronounced ‘kuh-RYE-zhah,’ for what some doctors call the
common cold.”

Safire said that doctors “never use the words common cold in front of patients, nor do the
sniffling sufferers call what they suffer from a common cold, because common trivializes the
ailment.”

But why is it called a cold? “That name for a disease causing inflammation of the nasal
mucous membrane was called a cold because it was associated with chills, a frequent
concomitant of fever. But what do you call a cold when it is unaccompanied by a chill?”

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Safire’s friend and fellow journalist Alistair Cooke suggested flu or catarrh. Safire explained,
“Catarrh is rooted in the Greek for ‘to flow down,’ and has nothing to do with chills and fever; it
is a more accurate description of a runny nose. …” Flu is “a more serious and sometimes
killing respiratory disease, which some people — who wouldn’t be caught dead with anything
as common as a cold — like to call their sniffles.”

(When my son Meir was 11, he had a bout of the flu; he should only be well. He asked me,
“What is flu short for?”

“Influenza, why?”

“Oh, I get it.”

“What do you get?”

“Hashem gives it to us to see if He can have an influenza on us.”)

There is a more scientific name for the common cold. Ever see a rampaging rhinoceros? The
word comes from the Greek rhin — nose, and keras — horn. The rhino’s viral etymological
cousin is what makes us take it on the nose. Harvard Health newsletter says that “200 specific
viruses that can cause the common cold have been identified. The virus family that causes the
most colds is called rhinovirus.” So it’s a family feud between us and the rhinovirus.

Scientists proclaim that cold is a misnomer for the rhino attack. The Harvard newsletter says,
“There is no evidence that going out in cold or rainy weather makes you more likely to catch a
cold.” And Yale agrees. The “Mythbusters” column in Yale Scientific magazine said that cold
temperature has nothing to do with catching colds. “Despite popular belief, it is not, however,
guilty of causing you to cough and sneeze all night, causing your throat to hurt, or causing your
sinuses to weigh 10 pounds. Correlation does not always imply causation, and cold weather
does not cause the common cold.”

So chill out.

Or maybe not …

Smithsonian Smart News reported a study that throws a (dry) blanket on the cold exposé and
shows there is something to the old belief. (Pardon my not citing the long-winded title and nine
authors of the study; it would eat up my word count.) Their bottom line: the rhinovirus thrives
and reproduces best at cold temperatures. “Thus, cooler temperatures can enable replication
of the common cold virus, at least in part, by diminishing antiviral immune responses.”

I don’t know if the scientists at Yale talk to each other, butNew York Times science columnist
Carl Zimmer (Wall St. Journal lingwizard Ben Zimmer’s older brother) wrote, “Scientists have
never been sure why [rhinoviruses] are so effective, but now a team at Yale University may
have found a clue. The scientists argue that rhinoviruses have found a blind spot in the human
immune system: They take advantage of the cold air in our noses.” (Stay tuned for brother
Ben’s unraveling the confusion over the term “antibiotic,” you shouldn’t need it.)
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It hurts to remember, but back in the ’80s, for a long time — too long — I had dropped out of
touch with Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, z”l. Then we met at a wedding and he started to give me
a hug. I stepped back and told him, “I have a cold.”

He frowned and said, “Don’t be so cold.”

The best remedy is one I heard from a doctor. But he didn’t prescribe it. It was prescribed to
him.

The doctor was close with the previous Amshinover Rebbe, zy”a. Once, the doctor came to
speak with the Rebbe and he — the doctor — was coughing. The Rebbe told him:

“You need tea and Tehillim. But both have to be hot.”

Please send smiles, sticks and stones to language@hamodia.com.

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