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English V

Name: Xavier A. Medina Veintimilla


Date: Jun/06/2018

Draft 1: “CHILDHOOD OBESITY”

The increasing percentage of youth that have been experiencing nutritional issues particularly obesity is being
discussed by many. The causes and effects seem to be unknown to some. However, there are various solutions which
can help to mitigate these issues.

One of the problems is the lack of parental guidance, considering their busy schedule as a result of their working and
quick lifestyle. However, they cannot provide enough time to educate their children about proper nutrition. Many
children have been eating meals from fast food restaurants because of the preoccupied schedule of their parents.
Consequently, they do not have time to prepare foods for their children, so buying fast food is their best option. Parent
could learn how to cook healthy and faster at home at nights. The most of these food could be packed and preserved
for the following days.

The effect of obesity in children is vital. Overweight children have been bullied by other kids at schools. Consequently,
depression is more often experienced by obese children. Further, aside from the emotional effect, there are more
serious health related issues afflicted with obesity such as heart disease and juvenile diabetes. School principals should
start a hard program to avoid this kind of problem on their schools. Making the kids and parent comfortable and
making sure that bulling will be out of their classrooms. Even, schools could help starting a healthy program in their
own cafeterias.

The argument with regard to child nutritional problems, particularly being overweight, can be managed. Firstly,
parents should closely monitor their children, and time to cook nutritious meals for their family. Finally, school’s
nutritional regime must be implemented and teachers should educate their students about healthy eating habits.

In conclusion, it is apparent that children are vulnerable in the nutritional aspect in the lack of support. However, there
are still solutions which can be implemented, and with monitoring, this difficulty should no longer be a problem in the
future.

Teacher coments:

At the end of the introduction, you have to write your thesis, by saying "there are various solutions" it is too
general. You have to name at least 1. For the final draft revise the use of grammar
Lidia Govea de Bustamante , 11 jun en 15:20
Final Essay: “CHILDHOOD OBESITY”

The increasing percentage of youth that have been experiencing nutritional issues particularly
obesity is being discussed by many. The causes and effects seem to be unknown to some.
However, the most of times the root of the problem becomes from home... and from inside the
schools too? Parents and directors should change feeding habits for children.

One of the problems is the lack of parental guidance, considering their busy schedule because of
they are working and having a rushed lifestyle. However, they cannot provide enough time to
educate their children about proper nutrition. Many children have been eating meals from fast
food restaurants because of the preoccupied schedule of their parents. Consequently, they do
not have time to prepare foods for their children, so buying fast food is their best option. Parent
could learn how to cook healthy and faster at home at nights. The most of these foods could be
packed and preserved for the following days.

The effect of obesity in children is vital. Overweight children have been bullied by other kids at
schools. Consequently, depression is more often experienced by obese children. Further, aside
from the emotional effect, there are more serious health related issues afflicted with obesity such
as heart disease and juvenile diabetes. School principals should start a hard program to avoid
this kind of problem on their schools. Making the kids and parent comfortable and making sure
that bulling will be out of their classrooms. Even, schools could help starting a healthy program
in their own cafeterias.

The argument regarding child nutritional problems, particularly being overweight, can be
managed. Firstly, parents should closely monitor their children, and time to cook nutritious meals
for their family. Finally, school’s nutritional regime must be implemented, and teachers should
educate their students about healthy eating habits.

In conclusion, it is apparent that children are vulnerable in the nutritional aspect in the lack of
support. However, there are still solutions which can be implemented, and with monitoring, this
difficulty should no longer be a problem in the future.