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Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018

Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

(262) It is very easy to recognize the number of shopping malls are increasing rapidly and so they will replace
traditional shops like the markets in Vietnam as a result. I believe that shopping in big malls offer a better shopping
experience than traditional markets to shoppers. Therefore, I think this trend will be beneficial and it will bring in
positive changes.
To begin with, large shopping complexes like Big C or VinCom bring different vendors under a single roof and offer a
spectrum of products such as fresh pastry, vegetables and meat that are probably a lot fresher and safer than in small
markets because all supermarkets have their product inspected and checked carefully before going onto the shelves.
Furthermore, as people in the city are always on a rush to work, home or a meeting and so supermarkets will be more
time-saving because supermarkets have their isle named after what they are offering.
Moreover, malls are proven good for the economy as they can generate more income, create many employment
opportunities. As stated above, the wide variety of products, their quality and good prices are often more appealing to
customers than markets, right? Consequently, more shops will be open in the supermarket and so offering more jobs
opportunity for those who are unemployed and hence creating more tax for the government.
These reasons prove why shopping malls are replacing small shops or markets. In conclusion, supermarkets are
significantly better than small shops in economically and financially and so I think this will be a good trend for urban
cities especially Hanoi.

QUy's homework

It is very easy to recognize the number of shopping malls are [is] increasing rapidly and so they will [are likely to]
replace traditional shops like the markets [traditional shops and markets] in Vietnam as a result. I believe that
shopping in big malls offer a better shopping experience than traditional markets to shoppers. Therefore, I think this
trend will be beneficial and it will bring in positive changes.

To begin with, large shopping complexes like Big C or VinCom [shopping complex nào cũng vậy, không phải riêng 2
thương hiệu này] bring different vendors under a single roof and offer a spectrum of products such as fresh pastry,
vegetables and meat that are probably a lot fresher and safer than in small markets because all supermarkets have
their product inspected and checked carefully before going onto the shelves. Furthermore, as people in the city are
always on a rush to work, home or a meeting and so supermarkets will be more time-saving because supermarkets
have their isle [aisles] named after what they are offering.

Moreover, malls are proven good for the economy as they can generate more income, create many employment
opportunities. As stated above, the wide variety of products, their quality and good prices are often more appealing to
customers than markets, right? [đây là phong cách của Speaking – formal writing tránh dùng câu hỏi; thay vào đó là
câu trần thuật, thể hiện thẳng thắn quan điểm của mình.] Consequently, more shops will be open in the supermarket
and so offering more jobs opportunity for those who are unemployed and hence creating more tax for the government.

These reasons prove why shopping malls are replacing small shops or markets. In conclusion, supermarkets are
significantly better than small shops in economically and financially and so I think this will be a good trend for urban
cities especially Hanoi.

Khi hết mỗi đoạn văn, cần cách ra 1 dòng.

Em dùng “so” quá nhiều trong bài, đây là ngôn ngữ informal, tránh sử dụng trong formal writing. Ví dụ: The number of
shopping malls is on the rise; therefore, they are likely to replace traditional shops and markets.

Khi dùng “will,” em đã mặc định rằng tương lai đó sẽ diễn ra. Em nên sử dụng những cách diễn đạt khác bớt mặc định
hơn như trong ví dụ trên.

Nhìn chung, bài viết có dòng chảy khá smooth và cách diễn đạt tự nhiên. Em lưu ý một số góp ý như trên.
Nguyễn Hữu Linh
Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
ANSWER:
Các trung tâm mua sắm đã và đang phát triển một cách chóng mặt và có xu hướng thay thế các cửa hang nhỏ. Tôi tin
rằng xu hướng này có cả mặt tích cực và mặt tiêu cực. Bài luận này sẽ trình bày cả hai vấn đề trên.
Các trung tâm thương mại có nhiều ưu điểm. Thứ nhất, cơ sở hạ tầng của các trung tâm mua sắm mang lại trải
nghiệm mua sắm tiện lợi hơn. Ví dụ, các trung tâm thương mại được trang bị các bãi đỗ xe rộng lớn, hệ thống điều
hòa không khí và các khu vực mua sắm, ăn uống và giải trí tích hợp trong một không gian khiến cho các trung tâm
thương mại hấp dẫn người mua hơn các cửa hàng nhỏ. Ngoài ra, trung tâm thương mại cho ta nhiều sự lựa chọn
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

hơn so với các cửa hàng riêng lẻ. Chúng ta có thể đến trung tâm thương mại để mua sắm tại khu vực mua sắm hoặc
dành khoảng thời gian tuyệt vời với gia đình và bạn bè trong các cửa hàng café/ăn uống tại khu ẩm thực hoặc thưởng
thức những bộ phim hay và chơi game ở khu giải trí. Qua đó, người mua hàng sẽ tiết kiệm thời gian và sử dụng thời
gian một cách hiệu quả. Một lợi ích nữa không thể bỏ qua của trung tâm thương mại là lợi ích thúc đẩy sự phát triển
kinh tế của nó. Trung tâm thương mại làm giàu và tạo ra nhiều cơ hội việc làm cho người lao động tại địa phương nơi
xây dựng trung tâm thương mại nhiều hơn so với các cửa hàng nhỏ. Bên cạnh đó, đây còn là nơi thu hút hàng nghìn
khách du lịch trong và ngoài nước khi họ đến du lịch tại địa phương. Điều này giúp tạo nguồn thu nhập lớn và nguồn
nộp thuế lớn hơn cho chính phủ.
Bên cạnh những ưu điểm kể trên thì xu hướng này cũng có một vài nhược điểm. Một trong những nhược điểm chính
của các trung tâm thương mại là sự đông đúc của nó, đặc biệt là các ngày cuối tuần và các ngày nghỉ lễ, điều này dẫn
đến sự không thoải mái cho nhiều người mua hàng. Các cửa hàng đông đúc làm cho việc mua sắm trở nên khó khăn.
Ngoài ra, việc có nhiều người tập trung tại các trung tâm thương mại có thể dẫn đến gia tăng tình trạng tắc nghẽn
giao thông tại các khu vực xung quanh trung tâm thương mại do các phương tiện đi tới hoặc rời các trung tâm thương
mại. Một nhược điểm nữa của các trung tâm mua sắm là sự lãng phí tiền bạc. Các trung tâm thương mại đưa ra
nhiều sản phẩm và dịch vụ cuốn hút người mua mà người mua khó có thể từ chối để mua nhiều những món đồ mà họ
muốn mua. Điều này không những ảnh hưởng xấu đến nền kinh tế mà còn gây ô nhiễm môi trường do các hoạt động
sản xuất hàng hóa và xả rác.
Kết luận, tôi tin rằng việc các trung tâm thương mại thay thế các cửa hàng nhỏ sẽ thay đổi thói quen mua sắm của
chúng ta và đem lại giá trị lớn về mặt kinh tế, nhưng xu hướng này có cả mặt tích cực và mặt tiêu cực.

Dịch:
In recent decades, shopping malls have proliferated across the globe and altered small shops. I believe this trend has
both pros and cons, which will be analyzed in this essay.

There are some benefits of shopping malls. To begin with, the infrastructure of big malls facilitates customers to shop
conveniently. The malls, for instance, have been equipped large parking areas, modern air conditioning systems and
shopping areas, food courts, and entertainment areas integrated in one space which makes them much more
desirable than small shops. In addition, people use their time more effectively in the shopping centers than small firms.
It is possible to spend our leisure time in shopping malls not only for shopping but also our family and friends to have
coffee or a meal in the food courts or enjoy a great film in cinemas. As a result, shoppers could save a lot of time and
use their time effectively. Moreover, the malls play a huge role in the boosting of economic development. They enrich
the locations where they were built through earning more money and paying more taxes for the government and
create mass job opportunities for unemployed people.

###
Các trung tâm mua sắm đã và đang phát triển một cách chóng mặt và có xu hướng thay thế các cửa hang nhỏ. Tôi tin
rằng xu hướng này có cả mặt tích cực và mặt tiêu cực. Bài luận này sẽ trình bày cả hai vấn đề trên.

Các trung tâm thương mại có nhiều ưu điểm. Thứ nhất, cơ sở hạ tầng của các trung tâm mua sắm mang lại trải
nghiệm mua sắm tiện lợi hơn. Ví dụ, các trung tâm thương mại được trang bị các bãi đỗ xe rộng lớn, hệ thống điều
hòa không khí và các khu vực mua sắm, ăn uống và giải trí tích hợp trong một không gian khiến cho các trung tâm
thương mại hấp dẫn người mua hơn các cửa hàng nhỏ. Ngoài ra, trung tâm thương mại cho ta nhiều sự lựa chọn
hơn so với các cửa hàng riêng lẻ. Chúng ta có thể đến trung tâm thương mại để mua sắm tại khu vực mua sắm hoặc
dành khoảng thời gian tuyệt vời với gia đình và bạn bè trong các cửa hàng café/ăn uống tại khu ẩm thực hoặc thưởng
thức những bộ phim hay và chơi game ở khu giải trí. Qua đó, người mua hàng sẽ tiết kiệm thời gian và sử dụng thời
gian một cách hiệu quả. Một lợi ích nữa không thể bỏ qua của trung tâm thương mại là lợi ích thúc đẩy sự phát triển
kinh tế của nó. Trung tâm thương mại làm giàu và tạo ra nhiều cơ hội việc làm cho người lao động tại địa phương nơi
xây dựng trung tâm thương mại nhiều hơn so với các cửa hàng nhỏ. Bên cạnh đó, đây còn là nơi thu hút hàng nghìn
khách du lịch trong và ngoài nước khi họ đến du lịch tại địa phương. Điều này giúp tạo nguồn thu nhập lớn và nguồn
nộp thuế lớn hơn cho chính phủ.

Bên cạnh những ưu điểm kể trên thì xu hướng này cũng có một vài nhược điểm. Một trong những nhược điểm chính
của các trung tâm thương mại là sự đông đúc của nó, đặc biệt là các ngày cuối tuần và các ngày nghỉ lễ, điều này dẫn
đến sự không thoải mái cho nhiều người mua hàng. Các cửa hàng đông đúc làm cho việc mua sắm trở nên khó khăn.
Ngoài ra, việc có nhiều người tập trung tại các trung tâm thương mại có thể dẫn đến gia tăng tình trạng tắc nghẽn
giao thông tại các khu vực xung quanh trung tâm thương mại do các phương tiện đi tới hoặc rời các trung tâm thương
mại. Một nhược điểm nữa của các trung tâm mua sắm là sự lãng phí tiền bạc. Các trung tâm thương mại đưa ra
nhiều sản phẩm và dịch vụ cuốn hút người mua mà người mua khó có thể từ chối để mua nhiều những món đồ mà họ
muốn mua. Điều này không những ảnh hưởng xấu đến nền kinh tế mà còn gây ô nhiễm môi trường do các hoạt động
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

sản xuất hàng hóa và xả rác.

Kết luận, tôi tin rằng việc các trung tâm thương mại thay thế các cửa hàng nhỏ sẽ thay đổi thói quen mua sắm của
chúng ta và đem lại giá trị lớn về mặt kinh tế, nhưng xu hướng này có cả mặt tích cực và mặt tiêu cực.

Dịch:
In recent decades, shopping malls have proliferated across the globe and altered [and are predicted to replace] small
shops. I believe this trend has both pros and cons, which will be analyzed in this essay.

There are some benefits of shopping malls. To begin with, the infrastructure of big malls facilitates customers to shop
conveniently. The malls, for instance, have been equipped with large parking areas, modern air conditioning systems
and shopping areas, food courts, and entertainment areas integrated in one space which makes them much more
desirable than small shops. In addition, people use their time more effectively in the shopping centers than small firms.
It is possible to spend our leisure time in shopping malls not only for shopping but also our family and friends to have
coffee or a meal in the food courts or enjoy a great film in cinemas. As a result, shoppers could save a lot of time and
use their time effectively. Moreover, the malls play a huge role in the boosting of economic development. [in boosting
the economic development] They enrich the locations where they were built through earning more money and paying
more taxes for the government and create mass job opportunities [create massive job opportunities/ create more jobs]
for unemployed people.

Khi hết 1 đoạn văn, cần cách ra 1 dòng rồi mới viết đoạn mới.

Em cần chú ý hơn đến việc paraphrase kẻo bị lệch so với nghĩa gốc (ví dụ: alter).

Grammar: to equip A with B – B be equipped with B (A = shopping malls, B = parking areas, etc.)

Grammar: play a role in doing sth

Nhìn chung, bài viết tiếng Việt và đoạn viết tiếng Anh đều tốt. Em đã biết cách sử dụng các công cụ hỗ trợ để viết
chuẩn. Mạch ý rõ ràng và dòng chảy dễ dàng.
Vuong Thi Ngoc Bich
(274) In recent years, the concept of shopping mall has become a full-blown modern retail trend across the globe.
Along with a storm of globalization, shopping centers are changing their role in people’s lives and traditional shopping
habits in small or corner shops. This essay will discuss various advantages of departmental stores.

Shopping in a mall is advantageous because the shops are housed in a complex. Groceries, clothes, shoes, reading
material, food courts, cinemas, and entertainment are found under one vast roof. Shoppers have a whole day
experience at the mall as they can shop, dine, watch movies, play games with clean air which is continuously renewed
by tireless air-conditioning systems. In addition, children are certainly not forgotten since there are many
entertainments provided by the stores such as adventure rides, animal exhibits, indoor water parks and even ice-
skating rinks.

Parking plays a major role in a customer’s decision of where to shop and it is also one of the main problems. Buying in
malls eliminates this problem because parking is offered for free or for a nominal fee. Shopping malls incorporate
ample parking in its design and construction. This makes it advantageous for people who choose to shop there instead
of a single store. Families who decide to visit a shopping mall on the weekend or on a holiday for a family outing is
because it is a more convenient option especially because parking is provided.

Now, when consumers visit malls, they are looking for experiences that go well beyond traditional shopping. With so
many benefits of shopping malls to shoppers we can conclude that shopping centres may only rise in popularity with
time.

###
In recent years, the concept of shopping mall has become a full-blown modern retail trend across the globe. Along with
a storm of globalization, shopping centers are changing their role in people’s lives and traditional shopping habits in
small or corner shops. This is a positive trend and this essay will discuss various advantages of departmental stores.
[phần thêm vào sẽ móc nối với đề tốt hơn.]

Shopping in a mall is advantageous because the shops are housed in a complex [because shops are brought together
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

under one roof/into one place] [complex thường đi liền với một danh từ để định danh cụ thể, ví dụ: a
shopping/apartment complex]. Groceries, clothes, shoes, reading material, food courts, cinemas, and entertainment
are found under one vast roof. Shoppers have a whole day experience at the mall as they can shop, dine, watch
movies, play games with clean air which is continuously renewed by tireless air-conditioning systems […play games in
the cool thanks to the tireless…/play games unaffected by weather conditions thanks to the tireless….] # [không khí
điều hòa chưa hẳn là clean] # [renew: không hợp lý về collocation]. In addition, children are certainly not forgotten
since there are many entertainments provided by the stores such as adventure rides, animal exhibits, indoor water
parks and even ice-skating rinks. [liệt kê không phải là lập luận, vì thế, nó không có nhiều giá trị để ghi điểm]

Parking plays a major role in a customer’s decision of where to shop and it is also one of the main problems. Buying in
malls eliminates this problem because parking is offered for free or for a nominal fee. Shopping malls incorporate
ample parking in its design and construction. This makes it advantageous for people who choose to shop there instead
of a single store. [lựa chọn khác: a stand-alone store] Families who decide to visit a shopping mall on the weekend or
on a holiday for a family outing is because it is a more convenient option especially because parking is provided.

Now, when consumers visit malls, they are looking for experiences that go well beyond traditional shopping. With so
many benefits of shopping malls to shoppers we can conclude that shopping centres may only rise in popularity with
time. [we can conclude that the rise of shopping malls is inevitable and the tide only gets stronger with time.]

Nhìn chung, bài khá tốt về bố cục và mạch diễn đạt. Tuy nhiên, ý tưởng trong bài này lại không thực sự sắc.
Topic: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Linh Dan – July 9th


----
[The process of replacing small shops for shopping malls is modern-day inevitable development. While that poses
some threats to traditional trade, the benefits seem to far outweigh. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why this
trend is the positive aspects of economic growth.] – DL

[To begin with, while small stores offer basic household necessities, shopping centres provide people with choices,
services and convenient shopping experiences. Variety of demands include entertainment, exercising, shopping as
well as socialising are served under one roof. Full of facilities such as parking, public toilets, changing rooms, or ATM,
which are not always found in traditional businesses, are all available in shopping centres. Beside, a wide range of
products are displaying through unit to unit, together with shopping malls’ interconnected walkaways enable visitors to
have easier shopping experiences than they did have in small stores. Flexible payment methods also contribute to the
convenience of shopping in commercial complex.] – DL

In addition, the emergence of shopping malls makes urban landscape look more modern and well-constructed. In most
cases, traditional stores are not invested so much in architecture whereas this is the things that shopping complexes
should not be neglected. Moreover, commercial buildings are considered as a solution for replanning temporary
market areas which is now showing a messy side of city.

Shopping mall is now an inseparable element of modern trade and large city. Needless to say, it offers better service
quality therefore enhancing human’s ways of living where it settles down. Its development will not deny the existence
of small shops but showing how wealthy a country is.

(word count: 266)

[The process of replacing small shops for shopping malls is modern-day inevitable development. [The rise of shopping
malls is inevitable.] While that poses some threats to traditional trade, the benefits seem to far outweigh. In this essay,
I will discuss the reasons why this trend is the positive aspects [is a positive aspect] of economic growth.] – DL

[To begin with, while small stores offer basic household necessities, shopping centres provide people with choices,
services and convenient shopping experiences. Variety [a variety] of demands include entertainment, exercising,
shopping as well as socialising are served under one roof. Full of facilities such as parking, public toilets, changing
rooms, or ATM, which are not always found in traditional businesses, are all available in shopping centres. Beside, a
wide range of products are displaying [are displayed] through unit to unit, together with shopping malls’ interconnected
walkaways [walkways] [walkaway = a walkover = một chiến thắng dễ dàng vì đối thủ quá yếu] enable visitors to have
easier shopping experiences than they did have in small stores. Flexible payment methods also contribute to the
convenience of shopping in commercial complex. To be specific, many small shops do not accept cards or mobile
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

payments while these have become the norm in large shopping malls. [Ý của em chưa hoàn thiện, đây là phần lập
luận để hoàn thiện.]] – DL

In addition, the emergence of shopping malls makes urban landscape look more modern and well-constructed. In most
cases, traditional stores are not invested so much in architecture whereas this is [these are] the things that shopping
complexes should not be neglected. [ cả câu này hỏng về ý; các single shops rất đa dạng về bài trí và kiến trúc, chứ
không một màu như shopping mall] Moreover, commercial buildings are considered as a solution for replanning
temporary market areas which is now showing a messy side of city. [Đề bài hỏi về small shops chứ không phải là
open market, vì vậy, ý này không phù hợp.]

Shopping mall is now an inseparable element of modern trade and large city. Needless to say, it offers better service
quality therefore enhancing human’s ways of living where it settles down. [where it is built] Its development will not
deny the existence of small shops but showing how wealthy a country is.

Nhìn chung, bài không đạt về smooth and natural flow (kể cả với bản deep-learning). Lý do: Em chỉ dừng lại ở việc
kiểm tra xem những thứ mình dùng có đúng hay không, chứ chưa dành thời gian để xem cả câu mình viết có sound
natural hay không. Em tham khảo bài của bạn Linh.

Ngoài ra, bố cục bài không đạt vì chênh lệch độ dài giữa 2 body paragraphs.
Pham Ngan Giang

(286) (DL) Today, due to a range of conveniences they offer, many large shopping centers have been built to replace
local shops. I believe that this brings about more advantages than disadvantages and this essay is to explain why.

(DL) It is true that the development of big shopping plazas has some positive effects. Firstly, a mall has its shops
housed in a complex; therefore, it provides consumers with a wide range of goods and services such as groceries,
clothes, food courts, household appliances, cinemas, while small shops often have only few kinds of products
available. Thus, shoppers could obtain almost everything they need under one roof, which clearly saves them a lot of
time. In addition, the wide variety of goods allows buyers to compare items from competing producers before making
their purchase. Secondly, shopping malls have their products delivered from trustworthy companies and business
partners with brands and labels on them. These days, in Vietnam, highly perishable goods such as vegetables and
fruit are sometimes reported to be contaminated with toxic and health hazardous chemicals for artificial ripening or
preservation. Therefore, accessible information about the products’ origin and journey, often via QR codes, would
definitely make consumers feel safer.

Some people who are against the idea of establishing large shopping malls might argue that this would affect the sales
of small outlets and may even cause the owners to lose their jobs. However, I believe that the ones who try their best
to satisfy customers with high-quality products and services can still survive in this competition.

In conclusion, the rise of mega malls has changed how people purchase products in a good way. It helps people to
save time and enables them to enjoy their shopping experience.

###
Today, due to a range of conveniences they offer, many large shopping centers have been built to replace local shops.
I believe that this brings about more advantages than disadvantages and this essay is to explain why.

(DL) It is true that the development of big shopping plazas has some positive effects. Firstly, a mall has its shops
housed in a complex; therefore, it provides consumers with a wide range of goods and services such as groceries,
clothes, food courts, household appliances, cinemas, while small shops often have only few kinds of products
available. […small shops pale in comparison when it comes to selection. – một cách diễn đạt khác] Thus, shoppers
could obtain almost everything they need under one roof, which clearly saves them a lot of time. In addition, the wide
variety of goods allows buyers to compare items from competing producers before making their purchase. Secondly,
shopping malls have their products delivered from trustworthy companies and business partners with brands and
labels on them. These days, in Vietnam, highly perishable goods such as vegetables and fruit are sometimes reported
to be contaminated with toxic and health hazardous chemicals for artificial ripening or preservation [These days, in
Vietnam, the problem of excessive chemical residues found in fresh produce has caused customers to be more
cautious about the origin of a product.]. Therefore, accessible information about the products’ origin and journey, often
via QR codes, would definitely make consumers feel safer.
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

Some people who are against the idea of establishing large shopping malls might argue that this would affect the sales
of small outlets and may even cause the owners to lose their jobs. However, I believe that the ones who try their best
to satisfy customers with high-quality products and services can still survive in this competition.

In conclusion, the rise of mega malls has changed how people purchase products in a good way. It helps people to
save time and enables them to enjoy their shopping experience.

Bài viết có ý tưởng; em cần làm kỹ hơn phần deep-learning để sound more natural.
nguyen dang khanh
(248) Nowadays, it seem that large shopping malls are emerging non stop and it is replacing the small shop one by
one. Some people believe that make life simpler and more pleasant while others believe that the development of
shopping center is a huge waste of money. It is my personal belief that they help our living much more easier. Here’s
why.
First at all, it is an undeniable yet is an inconvenient truth that goods in small market can sometime be unknown
products as well as harmful for the consumers (Foods especially drinks and groceries) because of not being under the
management of relevant authorities which is contrary to the large malls . The goods in large malls are safe as they are
well handled and checked carefully by experts before being produced in market .
Moreover, malls are good for the economy as they can generate more income , create many employment
opportunities as well as conveniently meet human’s demand. With a vast amount of goods for multiple choices and
having a wide space , any kinds of goods can be displayed at a long shelf accompanied by many brand names and it
seems everything needed is all in here .We no longer have to buy something in a small shop and must go to another
to search for something else each time you go shopping . Consequently , it attract any shoppers and generate a lot of
money as well as generate mass employment opportunities .

###
Nowadays, it seem that large shopping malls are emerging non stop and it [they] is replacing the small shop [shops]
one by one. Some people believe that make life simpler and more pleasant while others believe that the development
of shopping center is a huge waste of money. It is my personal belief that they help our living much more easier.
Here’s why. […our living much easier and this essay is to explain why.] [here’s why – hợp với văn nói hơn]

First at all, it is an undeniable yet is an inconvenient truth that goods in small market [small shops] can sometime
[sometimes] [xem kỹ cách dùng của sometime trong Cambridge] be unknown products as well as harmful for the
consumers (Foods especially drinks and groceries) because of not being under the management of relevant
authorities which is contrary to the large malls . [It is not always possible to track the origin of products sold in small
shops, especially fresh produce.] The goods in large malls are safe as they are well handled and checked carefully by
experts before being produced in market . [being put on shelves.]

Moreover, malls are good for the economy as they can generate more income , create many employment
opportunities as well as conveniently meet human’s demand. [human demands] With a vast amount of goods for
multiple choices and having a wide space , any kinds of goods can be displayed at a long shelf accompanied by many
brand names and it seems everything needed is all in here . [ câu dài: Boasting space, shopping malls beat small
shops when it comes to selection.] We no longer have to buy something in a small shop and must go to another to
search for something else each time you go shopping . Consequently , it attract any [it attracts a large number of]
shoppers and generate a lot of money as well as generate mass employment opportunities .

Bài hỏng toàn bộ về khoảng cách: Dấu câu phải dính liền chữ phía trước.

Phải cách dòng giữa các đoạn văn.

Bài chưa làm deep learning nên câu cú lủng củng, lỗi cơ bản còn đầy. Em cần nghiêm túc hơn trong việc đọc kỹ lại
bài và soát lỗi.
Trần Quang Minh

(353) Many people believe shopping malls replacing small stores is a worrying trend. I do not agree with this opinion
for the following reasons.

It is understandable why many people do not support the rapid development of shopping malls. Firstly, the abundance
and ever-affordability of goods brought by shopping malls would make compulsive consumers without a planned
shopping budget waste a lot of money. Beside, excessive promotion from shopping centers could create a subtle link
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

between happiness and purchasing in consumers’ minds. This triggers an appetite for shopping, resulting in more and
more people enjoying retail therapy as a getaway from the daily grind. Unfortunately, more often than not, the more
they shop their way to happiness, the less happy they become. The reason is they often get lost in the chaos of
possessions and suffer the inferiority complex when they compare themselves with others.

However, the benefits from shopping malls far outweigh the drawbacks. The mall is our one-stop shop, offering a wide
range of products from daily commodities we consume in everyday life to latest technology gadgets that will leave you
spellbound. Everything consumers need is more than likely in the mall. People don't have to waste gallons of gas just
to get everything done. In addition, most shopping malls nowadays have integrated a lifestyle design into their malls so
that visitors would find themselves doing more than just plain shopping. Today, the mall is a popular place for friends
to converge and catch up, watch a movie together. Shopping, eating out and enjoying weekends with families at the
same place help save tremendous amount of time. Last but not least, big stores usually have standardized and
synchronized procurement and quality control processes and procedures. This partially guarantees superior shopping
experience without the fear of purchasing deteriorated perishable goods and produce.

In conclusion, the afore-mentioned analyses explain why modern malls benefit people more than they could ruin
someone’s life. To add a further thought, I believe that any consumer should be aware of the illusion of satisfaction
created by lavishly spending in order not to be locked into a cage of consumerism.

###
Many people believe shopping malls replacing small stores is a worrying trend [believe that it is a worrying trend that
shopping malls are replacing small stores.] [sửa như thế này thì nó sẽ sound more natural]. I do not agree with this
opinion for the following reasons [….with this opinion and am convinced that this is a positive trend.] [thêm phần này
thì sẽ link với đề bài tốt hơn].

It is understandable why many people do not support the rapid development of shopping malls. Firstly, the abundance
and ever-affordability of goods brought by shopping malls would make compulsive consumers without a planned
shopping budget waste a lot of money. [ dài] [the abundance and ever-affordability of goods in shopping malls often
lead customers to the urge to buy.] Beside, excessive promotion from shopping centers could create a subtle link
between happiness and purchasing in consumers’ minds. [nên bỏ câu này, nó hơi khó hiểu] This triggers an appetite
for shopping, resulting in more and more people enjoying retail therapy as a getaway from the daily grind.
Unfortunately, more often than not, the more they shop their way to happiness, the less happy they become. The
reason is they often get lost in the chaos of possessions and suffer the inferiority complex when they compare
themselves with others.

However, the benefits from shopping malls far outweigh the drawbacks. The mall is our one-stop shop, offering a wide
range of products from daily commodities we consume in everyday life to latest technology gadgets that will leave you
spellbound. Everything consumers need is more than likely in the mall. People don't have to waste gallons of gas just
to get everything done. [People do not have waste time (and gas) searching for things in stand-alone shops.] In
addition, most shopping malls nowadays have integrated a lifestyle design into their malls so that visitors would find
themselves doing more than just plain shopping. Today, the mall is a popular place for friends to converge and catch
up, watch a movie together. Shopping, eating out and enjoying weekends with families at the same place help save
tremendous amount of time. Last but not least, big stores usually have standardized and synchronized procurement
and quality control processes and procedures. This partially guarantees superior shopping experience without the fear
of purchasing deteriorated perishable goods and produce.

In conclusion, the afore-mentioned analyses explain why modern malls benefit people more than they could ruin
someone’s life. [benefit people more than small stores] To add a further thought, I believe that any consumer should
be aware of the illusion of satisfaction created by lavishly spending in order not to be locked into a cage of
consumerism.

ĐIỂM TRỪ
Bài quá dài.

Một số câu không liên quan và dài.

Mở bài vẫn chưa trả lời vào câu hỏi

ĐIỂM CỘNG
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

Ý tưởng tốt
Từ vựng tốt

Nhìn chung, bài này tốt nhất trong số các bài em đã viết.
(263) Nowadays, with the advent of large shopping malls, many small shops are being replaced. While I agree that big
shopping malls have immense benefits to the modern society that outweigh the options and conveniences offered by
the small independent shops, I believe that this trend can sometimes have a negative effect.

For a variety of reasons, this trend might be considered beneficial. Firstly, thanks to the existence of mega shopping
centers, what used to take all day now can take a couple of hours. To be more specific, while you have to go to
several traditional shops to purchase several types of items, in shopping malls all of the products are available under
one roof. This can be a big time-saver for busy modern shoppers. Secondly, many department stores provide
shoppers with ample parking facilities, food courts along with entertainment areas which may help the shopping
experience much more pleasant than small shops.

Despite these considerable advantages, such trend has its unique disadvantage. Corner stores can fell victim to the
replacement of large shopping centers which may take the bread out of the mouths of many independent retailers. The
accelerating trend of replacing small stores with giant malls can result in the fact that small businesses may run the
risk of being bankrupt and leave the shopkeepers of the small stores with no means of earning a living.

In the end, the above analyses show that the advantages of replacing small shops with shopping malls outweigh its
disadvantage. Furthermore, I believe it is an inevitable trend given the fast-paced development of this society.

# Be available under one roof


Be a big time-saver for sb
Ample parking facilities
Fell victim to
Take the bread out of the mouths of sb
Run the risk of V-ing
An inevitable trend
As a sad truth

Nguyễn Phụng Anh

Nowadays, with the advent of large shopping malls, many small shops are being replaced. While I agree that big
shopping malls have immense benefits to the modern society that outweigh the options and conveniences offered by
the small independent shops, I believe that this trend can sometimes have a negative effect.

For a variety of reasons, this trend might be considered beneficial. Firstly, thanks to the existence of mega shopping
centers, what used to take all day now can take a couple of hours. To be more specific, while you have to go to
several traditional shops to purchase several types of items, in shopping malls all of the products are available under
one roof. This can be a big time-saver for busy modern shoppers. Secondly, many department stores provide
shoppers with ample parking facilities, food courts along with entertainment areas which may help the shopping
experience much more pleasant than small shops.

Despite these considerable advantages, such trend has its unique disadvantage. Corner stores can fell victim to the
replacement of large shopping centers which may take the bread out of the mouths of many independent retailers. The
accelerating trend of replacing small stores with giant malls can result in the fact that small businesses may run the
risk of being bankrupt and leave the shopkeepers of the small stores with no means of earning a living.

In the end, the above analyses show that the advantages of replacing small shops with shopping malls outweigh its
disadvantage. Furthermore, I believe it is an inevitable trend given the fast-paced development of this society.

Đây là bài tốt nhất so với các bài khác trong file này (tính đến chỗ này, không tính các bài bên dưới). Bài mạch lạc, rõ
ràng, trả lời đề bài dứt khoát. Anh chưa làm kỹ việc kiểm tra xem em có sao chép từ bài IELTS nào có sẵn trên mạng
không.

Nếu có sao chép toàn bộ từ 1 bài trên mạng thì phần nhận xét trên coi như bỏ.
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

Task 2 - Bạch Hương Giang.

Cities are transforming in various aspects, one of them is shopping pattern. Currently, people are increasingly doing
their shopping in the large shopping mall instead of going to small stores. I personally believe this tendency has both
positive and negative effects, which will be discussed below.
Shopping malls have made shopping easier and hassle-free. Since mordern malls stock products in a larger quantity,
they are able to quote them in prices cheaper than other smaller retail stores. When a customer can buy all that they
need in the shopping centre without travel between different stores, they save time and money. For example, buyers
can easily compare the shoes of Converse and Vans in the same shopping centre, while it is difficult to do that at
physical stores. Furthermore, some malls also offer home delivery services which is undoubtedly a considerable
benefit.

###

Cities are transforming in various aspects, one of them is shopping pattern [is the way people shop] [viết như thế này
sẽ tự nhiên hơn]. Currently, people are increasingly doing their shopping in the large shopping mall instead of going to
small stores. I personally believe this tendency has both positive and negative effects, which will be discussed below.

Shopping malls have made shopping easier and hassle-free. Since mordern malls stock products in a larger quantity,
they are able to quote them in prices cheaper than other smaller retail stores. When a customer can buy all that they
need in the shopping centre without travel between different stores, they save time and money. For example, buyers
can easily compare the shoes of Converse and Vans in the same shopping centre, while it is difficult to do that at
physical stores. Furthermore, some malls also offer home delivery services which is undoubtedly a considerable
benefit.

Bài tốt, mạch lạc, rõ ràng và trả lời thẳng vào đề. Em nên viết cả bài.
Trần Thảo Nguyên
(250) In recent years, the numbers of mega shopping centres have increased rapidly. They are considered to be
replacing the traditional stores. In my opinion, this innovation is worthy because of the benefits of saving time as well
as money .
Firstly, shopping at huge shopping plazas is a more convenient experience than going to several traditional shops to
purchase several types of items. In shopping centres, variety of the items available under one roof; therefore, the
customer is able to buy grocery items, vegetables, meats, fruits, stationary, household products or any other products
into a shopping cart and pay at the cashier for fast track. Since easier shopping mechanism, people can save a lot of
time instead of spending hours going to many different shops .
Secondly, prices of goods in large shopping malls are less expensive than other traditional shops. There are various
methods which provide financial benefits for customers. For instance, there are discount schemes, reward points and
promotions are provided even if you visit any of the branches scattered throughout the country. In addition, they buy
these items directly from the companies and there is no middleman between them. Hence ultimately customers are
able to buy good quality products at a cheaper rate besides small shops .
To sum up, this essay discussed time - saving and cheaper price as advantages of shopping malls compared to small
shops. Hence, in my point of view, I believe replacing small shops with comercial centres is beneficial for customers .

###
In recent years, the numbers of mega shopping centres have increased rapidly. They are considered to be replacing
the traditional stores. In my opinion, this innovation [change] is worthy because of the benefits of saving time as well
as money .

Firstly, shopping at huge shopping plazas is a more convenient experience than going to several traditional shops to
purchase several types of items. In shopping centres, variety [a variety] of the items available under one roof;
therefore, the customer is able to buy grocery items, vegetables, meats, fruits, stationary, household products or any
other products into a shopping cart and pay at the cashier for fast track. [is able to buy things in one go instead of
wasting time searching for things at stand-alone shops.] Since easier shopping mechanism, people can save a lot of
time instead of spending hours going to many different shops .

Secondly, prices of goods in large shopping malls are less expensive than other traditional shops. There are various
methods which provide financial benefits for customers. For instance, there are discount schemes, reward points and
promotions are provided [ lỗi 2 động từ; sửa: …promotions which are provided/promotions provided] even if you visit
any of the branches scattered throughout the country. In addition, they buy these items directly from the companies
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

and there is no middleman between them [không đúng lắm, vẫn có nhiều middle men đấy; em nên phân tích theo
hướng, họ bán nhiều, nhập nhiều hàng nên giá rẻ hơn – xem phần diễn đạt này trong bài của Bạch Hương Giang].
Hence ultimately customers are able to buy good quality products at a cheaper rate besides small shops .

To sum up, this essay discussed time - saving and cheaper price as advantages of shopping malls compared to small
shops. Hence, in [from] my point of view, I believe replacing small shops with comercial [typo] centres is beneficial for
customers .

Cần cách dòng giữa các đoạn văn

Dấu câu cần liền với chữ phía trước.


Trần Thị Minh Chi
Thầy ơi bài viết trên 300 từ có bị coi là dài và lan man hay có bị trừ điểm không ạ? :((

(358) In the past, people used to go shopping in the small local shops. Nowadays, the feverish pace of economic
progress has changed the consumerism and spending habit so people tend to prefer doing the shopping at large
modern malls. This essay discusses the merits and demerits of the fact that big malls are replacing small shops.

In terms of advantages, big malls provide more convenient services. People now can buy everything on a regular
basis such as clothes, food, books, furnitures, etc. just under one roof instead of spending a ton of time visiting stores.
In addition, with the view to meeting customers’ need, department stores also serve entertainment services. After
going shopping, people feel at ease by going to the cinema or game center as well as grabbing some coffee right in
the mall. Moreover, modern malls are a step forward in comparison with small shops regarding the diversity of goods.
There are a plenty of brands and products which sastify the liking of every customer, even the fussiest one. The more
they are sastified, the more they buy, which gives the consumption market a lift and encourages economic growth.

In spite of these endless benefits, this phenomenon also has some drawbacks. The fact that malls are taking place of
small shops means that they are taking the bread out of the mouths of many people. More people choose to go to
large shopping centers hence the sales of traditional stores have seriously decreased. As a result, a large number of
these shops are on the verge of closing down which makes the owners have no means to make a living. Plus, the
construction of large malls occupies more landfill. The total area of the malls is equal to the accommodation area of
numerous people. As the plazas have been built, these people have to find somewhere else to live which results in the
increase in land prices and rent.

In conclusion, the apperance of large department stores displacing small shops brings both pros and cons. But with
the growing leaps and bounds of urban lifestyle, more local shops seem to disappear in the very near future.

###
In the past, people used to go shopping in the small local shops. Nowadays, the feverish pace of economic progress
has changed the [spurred a change in] consumerism and spending habits so people tend to prefer doing the shopping
at large modern malls. This essay discusses the merits and demerits of the fact that big malls are replacing small
shops.

In terms of advantages, big malls provide more convenient services. People now can buy everything on a regular
basis such as clothes, food, books, furnitures, etc. just under one roof [etc  amongst others] instead of spending a
ton of time visiting stores. In addition, with the view to meeting customers’ need, department stores also serve
entertainment services. After going shopping, people feel at ease by going to the cinema or game center as well as
grabbing some coffee right in the mall. Moreover, modern malls are a step forward in comparison with small shops
regarding the diversity of goods. There are a plenty of brands and products which sastify [typo] the liking of every
customer, even the fussiest one. The more they are sastified [typo], the more they buy, which gives the consumption
market a lift and encourages economic growth.

In spite of these endless benefits, this phenomenon also has some drawbacks. The fact that malls are taking place of
small shops means that they are taking the bread out of the mouths of many people. More people choose to go to
large shopping centers hence the sales of traditional stores have seriously decreased. As a result, a large number of
these shops are on the verge of closing down which makes the owners have no means to make a living. Plus, the
construction of large malls occupies more landfill. The total area of the malls is equal to the accommodation area of
numerous people. As the plazas have been built, these people have to find somewhere else to live which results in the
increase in land prices and rent [ý cuối không tốt – occupies land là đúng nhưng nó không liên quan đến chuyện chỗ ở
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

của dân] [ngoài ra, em dùng từ landfill là sai, từ này chỉ dùng với việc chôn lấp rác thôi.].

In conclusion, the apperance of large department stores displacing small shops brings both pros and cons. [that large
department stores are displacing small shops brings both pros and cons – viết thế này tự nhiên và đỡ nguy hiểm hơn]
But with the growing leaps and bounds of urban lifestyle, more local shops seem to disappear in the very near future.

Bài viết tốt – bố cục tốt, ý tốt và trình bày mạch lạc.

Độ dài: Nên viết ngắn hơn vì đi thi không thể viết dài thế này. Nếu không phải đi thi thì định nghĩa về sự lan man của
bài là như sau. Lan man = không trả lời vào câu hỏi, trả lời nhưng ý không sắc, ý trước lặp ý sau. “Lan man” đến từ
phong cách viết chứ không phải là độ dài – có những bài ngắn nhưng vẫn rất lan man, có những bài dài nhưng lại đọc
cực kỳ nhanh vì ý tưởng phong phú, trình bày mạch lạc, lập luận thông minh.

Mục tiêu: Tạo smooth flow dù bài ngắn hay bài dài.
(297) Recently, along with the economic development, small retail shops are being replaced by large shopping
centres, especially in urban area. I believe it is a good trend that should be promoted to bring more benefit for both
consumers and the governments.
Firstly, shopping at department store provides more convenient shopping experiences for customers. In the shopping
malls, many different products and services options are available under the same roof; as a result people can buy
several types of items at the same place instead of going to different shops in different locations. Moreover, almost all
of the shopping centres are well equipped with air conditioners, elevators, parking space and entertainment area
which makes them become more attractive than retail stores. In addition, the shopping malls buy products directly
from manufacturers, therefore consumers can buy these things at a more reasonable price and not afraid of
consuming low quality or fake products.
Secondly, the development of malls also has positive impact on the national economy and benefit for the authorities. It
is undeniable that the operation of big shopping centres can generate more income for government in form of tax
payment as well as create more jobs for local people. Normally, while it is hard to calculate the profit of the small
shops to impose tax, government can collect a large amount of tax payment from large department stores that apply
the transparent accounting system. Moreover, in order to operate big malls, a large number of employees are
employed to ensure the smooth operation; as a result it creates more jobs for local people.
In conclusion, I fully support the idea that small retail shops should be replaced by large shopping malls as it is not
only bring about many advantages for consumers but also benefit the governments.
Thuy Nguyen

Recently, along with the economic development, small retail shops are being replaced by large shopping centres,
especially in urban area. I believe it is a good trend that should be promoted to bring more benefit for [to] both
consumers and the governments.

Firstly, shopping at department store [stores] provides more convenient [better] shopping experiences for customers.
In the shopping malls, many different products and services options [a vast array of products and services/ many
options of products and services] are available under the same roof; as a result people can buy several types of items
at the same place instead of going to different shops in different locations. Moreover, almost all of the shopping
centres are well equipped with air conditioners, elevators, parking space and entertainment area which makes [make]
them become more attractive than retail [single/stand-alone] stores. In addition, the shopping malls buy products
directly from manufacturers, therefore consumers can buy these things at a more reasonable price and not afraid of
consuming low quality or fake products.

Secondly, the development of malls also has positive impact on the national economy and benefit for the authorities. It
is undeniable that the operation of big shopping centres can generate more income for government in form of tax
payment as well as create more jobs for local people. Normally, while it is hard to calculate the profit of the small
shops to impose tax, government can collect a large amount of tax payment from large department stores that apply
the transparent accounting system. Moreover, in order to operate big malls, a large number of employees are
employed to ensure the smooth operation; as a result [cần có dấu phẩy sau result] it creates more jobs for local
people.

In conclusion, I fully support the idea that small retail shops should be replaced by large shopping malls as it is not
only bring about many advantages for consumers but also benefit the governments [bỏ “the”].

Bạn cần chú ý hơn đến việc sử dụng mạo từ với danh từ chung.
Vũ Hải Đăng – Bài chữa cho lớp Fast Track tháng Sáu 2018
Đề bài: Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Bài tốt: Minh, Chi, Linh – Bài đặc biệt tốt: Phụng Anh

(Nguyen Thu Trang)

(276) It is true that the trend of mega shopping malls in the recent years has become very famous, which is leading to
the replacement of the habit of buying from small shops. This development has its own advantages and
disadvantages.

Firstly, shopping malls are providing tremendous benefits. Consumers can get each and everything under one roof
saving them a lot of time in shopping. For instance, people can shop for grocery, dairy products, clothes, shoes and
every household items at one place. Secondly, mega shopping malls have various amenities such as parking place,
air-condition, lifts and escalators which make shopping more convenient. Consumers can utilize enormous facilities
such as café shops to have a cup of coffee and get some rest. Parents can leave their children in play land inside a
mall, which enable them to go shopping without worrying about their kids.

Nevertheless, the trend of diminishing small market also has drawbacks. The traditional market is the best place for
people who are the middle class or lower due to cheaper price, while goods in shopping mall are usually expensive
because of brands, leasing expenses. Moreover, the tendency of shopping habit also impacts on the local economy.
For example, some traditional craft industries are at risk of fading away because of modern products displaying in the
mall, so local shopkeepers face a hard time of earning a living as only a few customers buy products from their shops.

In conclusion, both shopping areas have their own adversity and benefits. In my opinion, the government should make
some regulation which should prevent the small shops from being diminished and also keep the mega shopping malls
developing.

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It is true that the trend of mega shopping malls [“trend” thường đi với hành động, nói về xu hướng làm gì, vì thế, cách
nói “the trend of shopping malls” là không phù hợp] in the recent years has become very famous [famous không phải
là collocation phù hợp cho trend] # [Shopping in mega malls or big stores has become increasingly popular], which is
leading to the replacement of the habit of buying from small shops. This development has its own advantages and
disadvantages.

Firstly, shopping malls are providing tremendous benefits. Consumers can get each and everything under one roof
saving them a lot of time in shopping. For instance, people can shop for grocery, dairy products, clothes, shoes and
every household items at one place. […can shop for things in one go – liệt kê không phải là lập luận, vì thế, nó chỉ có
tác dụng kéo dài chứ không ăn điểm] Secondly, mega shopping malls have various amenities such as parking place,
air-condition [air-conditioners], lifts and escalators which make shopping more convenient. Consumers can utilize
enormous facilities such as café shops to have a cup of coffee and get some rest. Parents can leave their children in
play land [play areas] inside a mall, which enable [enables – which thay cho cả mệnh đề phía trước] them to go
shopping without worrying about their kids.

Nevertheless, the trend of diminishing small market also has drawbacks. The traditional market is the best place for
people who are the middle class or lower due to cheaper price, while goods in shopping mall are usually expensive
because of brands, leasing expenses. [because of the running costs which include marketing or leasing.] Moreover,
the tendency of shopping habit [changes in shopping habits] also impacts on the local economy. For example, some
traditional craft industries are at risk of fading away because of modern products displaying in the mall, so local
shopkeepers face a hard time of earning a living as only a few customers buy products from their shops. [Ý này không
tốt vì không được phát triển ra đầy đủ. Some traditional crafts are fading  What are they? Why are they fading
away?

In conclusion, both shopping areas [both shopping malls and small shops] have their own adversity
[drawbacks/shortcomings – từ adversity quá nặng nề] and benefits. In my opinion, the government should make some
regulation which should prevent the small shops from being diminished and also keep the mega shopping malls
developing.

Về mặt từ vựng, em chưa học sâu và hiểu sâu từ vựng nên dẫn đến việc sử dụng chưa chính xác. Về ý tưởng, em
cần lưu ý suy nghĩ kỹ hơn, đầu tư nhiều hơn cho việc phát triển lập luận, chứ các ý nông cạn hay dở dang đều không
giúp em đạt điểm cao.