Melissa Reid

Tom Hanson

PSY-1010

Aug. 1, 2018

Reflection

In the last 2 months I have experienced a dizzying sequence of emotions. When I

finished my associates degree of nursing, I left my previous job with the University of

Utah Health and took a new position with Primary Children’s. I was scared as well as

hopeful and excited for the first month. In the second month, my emotions took a 360

turn-around. I started to experience a significant amount of anxiety and fear as

problems arose with my training. Soon after, when I was asked to resign because they

didn’t think I would be able to succeed on the unit at the time, I experienced even more

nerves and apprehension for the future. I have learned a lot about anxiety this semester

and it helped me understand what I was experiencing as I went through these trials, but

it has also helped me to understand more about myself as a person.

I learned that there are different types of anxiety. There is generalized,

obsessive-compulsive, phobic, and even paranoid anxiety, to name a few. I would not

say that I have phobic or paranoid anxiety, but I have been diagnosed with Generalized

Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and would say that I also have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

(OCD) tendencies. While, I knew that I had anxiety, I often found it difficult to recognize

early on during situations. I generally did not see my anxiety until I was in a full panic

attack, but throughout this course I have learned to recognize some of my triggers and

symptoms. It is perfectly normal to have stress and anxiety in life, but for those of us

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that it is a diagnosis, we have to be very aware of ourselves to make sure that we are

functioning as normal a life as possible.

I have had experiences where I would sweat, my heart would seem to try to

bound out of my chest, my breathing would become restricted, I would lose all sense of

strength, and most of the time I would start gagging. I typically found myself in these

situations after going through something very stressful and emotional. I later learned

that these were panic attacks. Other experiences I have had dealt with my OCD

tendencies. In these instances, I found myself stuck going through to-do lists in my

head, fixated with whether things were organized and straight, I had difficulty changing

schedules at the last minute, and I had struggles moving past the little things in my life.

As for my generalized anxiety, I have symptoms such that I worry about the future

frequently, I have to set and achieve goals regularly, and I consistently worry about

what others think of me. During this summer course, I found myself reflecting back to

several of these experiences as we were discussing the chapters related to emotional

and mental well-being. These chapters were a great reminder that, the more I know, the

better I can control and deal with my anxiety in a way that is not maladaptive and

detrimental to my health.