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People are usually aware of their own thoughts and emotions in their inner worlds.

They usually engage in

self-perception to understand and infer about their own emotions, attitudes and behaviors. It is also observed, as
Kurt Vonnegut puts it, “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be” (as quoted in
Wilson, 2011).

According to Charles H. Cooley, people’s perception of themselves is influenced by how they are perceived by
others, a phenomenon he called looking-glass self.

However, studies show that people do not see themselves as they think others see them as espoused by
George Herbert Mead. So people do not actually take the role of the other in constructing a sense of self. People
are mostly unaware of what other people really think of them. People’s concept of themselves is linked to how
they go about enhancing their self-image. It is easier for them to praise others than criticise.

In a collectivist culture like the Philippines, adolescents’ identity formation is embedded within the context of
their groups. They have an interdependent self that is intertwined with others. Thus, concepts like relationships,
love and sexuality are considered to be of primary importance not just to Filipino adolescents but to the whole
populations as well. One study found out that Filipino teens learn about love and sexuality from their peers rather
than from their parents (Irala et al., 2009). Another survey, the Adult Fertility and Sexuality Study of YAFS-II which
includes data on dating, marriage, and start of sexual activity showed that Filipino teens “tend to pass a continuum
of increasing commitment, usually leading to some form of traditional or formally sanctioned marriage (Xenos,


-can be anything that a person finds captivating from the opposite sex, or same sex in these modern times

Modern science has proven that love usually starts with physical attraction, though it is still difficult to prove
thst there are loves that happens at first sight.

Romantic Love

-an intense state of longing for union with another person encompassing a distinct amalgamation of behaviors,
cognitions and emotions (Diamond & Dickenson, 2012)

At the turn of the century, Bartels & Zeki (2000) began an earnest study of romantic love. Recruiting
participants who are in love, they have used the various tools that can look within the human brains without
cutting them open: examples of these scientific tools include Positron Emission Tomography (PET),
electroencephalogram (EEG) and functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).

If one hasn’t experienced romantic love before, expect it to be a state where one will find a sense of euphoria,
an extra source of energy, hyperactivity for some, and for others, sleeplessness and mood swings. Strong empathy
towards the loved one-- and a desire for emotional and physical union-- are felt when one is in love. On the other
hand, physical separation induces separation anxiety.


-is when one promises a loved one that he/she will not look at another person the same way he/she does for
him/her; it means keeping that promise despite temptations along the way

-is a word taken seriously by those who are either in the state of love, or are very responsible, or both

1. Passionate love- an “intense longing for union with another”

-this type of love is intense, emotional and exciting

-David Myers described it as the type of love one feels when his or her love is reciprocated

-this intense form of love simmers down through time

2. Companionate love- refers “to the love we feel for those whom our lives are intertwined”

-the type of love one feels for friends, family and a special someone throughout the years

-this love is steady and involves affectionate attachment

Robert Sternberg proposed the Triangular Theory of Love where he identified different kinds of love depending on
the components present namely, intimacy, passion, and commitment.

For relationships to flourish there is a need for consistency among cognitions (one’s beliefs and ideas), emotions
(feelings), and behaviors (actions).

According to Scott Peck (The Road Less Travelled) love is a commitment. Commitment is a critical component in
relationships. It is considered to be a foundation of a loving relationship (Corey & Corey, 2010). This is the starting
point for two people to know where they are in the relationship. Commitment also brings a sense of exclusivity that
allows both persons to devote themselves to the relationship.