Questions from students at the Grove about

relationships, sex, marriage!

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1. Does pre marital sex really effect you and your
future marriage? Is it ok to do before marriage?!
—yes it can effect you and your future marriage…When
you engage is sex there is a spiritual, physical and
emotional oneness that happens. The Bible is clear that
sex should be done in the context of marriage…it helps
protect you from heartache, guilt, diseases..etc!
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Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor among all,
and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge
the sexually immoral and adulterous.!
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1 Corinthians 6:18-20 Flee from sexual immorality.
Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but
the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or
do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy
Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not
your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God
in your body.!
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Genesis 2:24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and
his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become
one flesh.!
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2. Is it better to break off an engagement to someone
that you have doubts about or commit and hope for
the projected outcome?!
If there are character issues they should be addressed in
a pre marriage counseling session with your pastor. This
way everyone is on the same page and if things need to
be worked out they can be.!
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Matthew 1:18-21 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took
place in this way. When his mother Mary had been
betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was
found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her
husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her
to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he
considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord
appeared to him in a dream, saying, “Joseph, son of
David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which
is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a
son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his
people from their sins.”!
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We can see that Joseph thought there might be a
character issue with Mary and was going to break off the
engagement until the angel appeared to him.!
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3. How long should you be engaged before marriage?!
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A Christian engagement should reflect the fact that
marriage is a God-created, God-ordained institution meant
to support individuals in a loving relationship and
strengthen them to serve God and others. Scripture is
specific that the couple should remove themselves from
their childhood families and be devoted to one another
(Mark 10:7-9).!
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Me personally I am not a fan of long engagements. For
most it takes 6-12 months to plan a wedding and that is
where I land.!
4. What is a good age to get married?!
As I have taught the past few weeks there are things that
need to happen before marriage takes place. From week
one we talked about there could be some type of
education, a job/career that must happen first. Which
brings me back to being content with where God has you
in your life.!
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5. How do you tell if someone likes you?!
I think this is in the guys court to define the relationship
and state his intentions. !
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6. What if your girlfriend/boyfriend doesn’t talk to
you?!
It appears that this may not be a defined relationship as
communication is key in any relationship.!
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7. What if you make the wrong decision on getting
engaged and onto marriage?!
Before you would even get to that point of engagement it
would be wise to have Godly/wise people surrounding you
to give you wisdom. Have your parents involved and seek
their guidance. !
Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father's instruction,
but a mocker does not listen to rebuke.!
Proverbs 19:20 Listen to advice and accept instruction,
and in the end you will be wise.!
How do you create healthy relationships?!
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8. Is it bad to have short, non-committed
relationships?!
I think it would be un-wise to just jump from person to
person. Because as we have studied the purpose of
dating or getting to know someone is to lead down a road
towards marriage. So if that is the purpose why have
short non committed relationships. !
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9. Should you only have sex for reproduction
purposes?!
• The Bible does teach that one of the primary purposes
for sexual intimacy is the creation of children. In the
familiar passage of Genesis 1:28, God told Adam and
Eve to “be fruitful and multiply”. !
• In the Song of Solomon you read of a married man and
woman enjoying many moments of passionate sexual
 intimacy. In no place in the book do you find procreation
being discussed.!
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10. How do you make a marriage last? !
• Realizing that you are married to a sinner and you daily
have to wash the feet of a sinner. !
• communication is key !
• prayer and being in God’s word and growing in your walk
with Him.!
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11. Why shouldn’t Christians date non-believers?
Why not help them change?!
• 2 Corinthians 6:14 not be unequally yoked with
unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with
lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?!
verse 15 What harmony can there be between Christ and
the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an
unbeliever?God tells us not to be yoked with unbelievers. !
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• The Bible paints a picture of Christ and the Devil they
are on opposite sides of the fence and this is how it
would be if married to an unbeliever. Not on the same
page.!
• When it comes to Christians marrying non-Christians,
God is opposed. There are many passages in Scripture
that make this clear. I’ll share one from the Old Testament
and one from the New Testament.!
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Malachi 2:11–12 says:!
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Judah has been faithless, and abomination has been
committed in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has
profaned the sanctuary of the Lord, which he loves, and
has married the daughter of a foreign god. May the Lord
cut off from the tents of Jacob any descendant of the man
who does this, who brings an offering to the Lord of hosts!!
How does God tell you who be with?!
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• You can have non-romantic evangelistic relationships
with non-Christians, but if the parties involved are single,
the odds of attraction are high. A better idea would be to
introduce the would-be boyfriend to your Christian male
friends so that a more healthy, genuinely evangelistic
relationship can form between them.!
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Pray for him. Introduce him to the men at your church. But
don’t date him. and this goes for guys as well!
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12. Does kissing and hugging count as physical
contact? yes there is no way around it !
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13. How should we serve our boyfriend/girlfriend
when we are in middle or high school and are not
ready for marriage?!
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• Respect their future spouse as it may not be you.!
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13. How do you know it is the right person to get
engaged?!
• examined character (walking with The Lord)!
• on the same road (both are going after what God has
planed) !
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14. What do you mean that friendship is key?!
Proverbs 2:17 Calls your spouse your “al-loop” a unique
Hebrew word that translates as “special confidant” or “best
friend” !
Friendship=progression toward a common cause and that
common cause is Christ likeness !
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15. Is divorce wrong? and is it accepted at anytime?
What if your spouse cheats?!
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh.
What therefore God has joined together, let not man
separate.”!
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16. Do you have to by engagement ring or wedding
rings?!
A ring is a symbol that tells the world that you are
committed to each other. It is not a must!
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17. What is marriage by definition? !
one women one man for a life time!
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18. What if you both Christians but are different
denominations?!
Still goes back to character and if you are both running the
same race!
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19. If you have sex outside of marriage and are a
Christian will you still go to Heaven? Does God love
you any less? !
The best thing about having Christ is Lord is the grace that
He gives. All sins are covered under the blood. If the sin
any sin is repented of God’s grace covers it. And God
does not love you less..He will never love you less.!
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19. Do you think it’s a good thing to say “I love you” if
you’re not fully committed?!
It is not wise to use words that you would not truly mean.!
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