THE SYLLOGISMS OF SEINFELD

by
Joe Carter
12 . 29 . 09

There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is

truth. — Victor Borge

Comedians aren’t often known for their critical thinking skills and Mr. Spock —the Vulcan
embodiment of cool logic—wasn’t known for his jokes. So at rst glance it might appear that
humor and logic belong to completely separate spheres. Humor is playful, lively, and

unbounded by procedural standards. Logic, in contrast, is serious, strict, and completely

circumscribed by rules and processes. Humor is tied to emotion while logic is above such non-
rational ephemera. But in an article for Philosophy Now , Julia Nefsky argues that logic has a very

real and very important role in humor:

The range of humour in which there is logic and logical fallacy is huge. By logic

and fallacy being in humour I mean that there is some logic or fallacy there that

is necessary to what makes it funny. In other words, if you hypothetically

removed that logic or fallacy, the joke would not work. You’ll nd logic and

logical fallacies in all kinds of humorous works, including those of Shakespeare,

Lewis Carroll, Monty Python, the Marx Brothers, Abbott and Costello, Woody

Allen, Mel Brooks, Steve Martin, Stephen Leacock, Douglas Adams, and even

television shows like Beavis and Butthead.

Also, logic and fallacies are used in many di erent comics, including Gar eld,

Calvin and Hobbes, and Peanuts. And there are lots of great examples in the

work of stand-up comedians like Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby, George Carlin, and
 Henny Youngman. In fact, basically everywhere you look in humour there will

be some bits in which logic or fallacy is used in a signi cant way - sometimes just

a couple can be found, and other times they are all over the place!

Every time logic or a fallacy is used in humour it serves a speci c role. I have

found that a convenient way of classifying examples is in terms of three roles

that seem to cover all the signi cant ways logic and fallacy are used in humour:

essence, enhancer, and mechanism

In the article, Nefsky explains each of these terms and provides examples of how they are used.
Although she provides adequate illustrations, I’ve taken the liberty of using her roles but
replacing the examples with ones from episodes of Seinfeld . Needless to say, these examples are

funnier if—like me—you’ve seen every episode at least six times.

Roles of Essence — The logic or fallacy used serves as the essence of what makes it funny. In
these cases other aspects might enhance the humor, but the logic or fallacy is precisely what

makes it funny, such that without it there is no humor left.

Type #1 — Equivocation : the name of the most common informal fallacy used in humor and

usually it is the essence of what is funny. Equivocation occurs when two di erent meanings or
senses of the same word(s) are used as if equivalent. In humor equivocation is often played out

with two people—where one person says something implying one meaning and the other
person takes it as if another meaning was intended.

“I wanted to talk to you about Dr. Whatley. I have a suspicion that he’s

converted to Judaism purely for the jokes.”

“And this o ends you as a Jewish person?”

“No, it o ends me as a comedian.”

- Jerry and Father Curtis, in “The Yada Yada”

 “You are still afraid? You are not a man.”

“Well, then what are all those ties and sports jackets doing in my closet?”

- Gina and Jerry, in “The Suicide”

“I still can’t believe you’re going out on a blind date.”

“I’m not worried. It sounds like he’s really good looking.”

“You’re going by sound? What are we, whales?”

- Jerry and Elaine, in “The Wink”

“Wait. Those are the clothes from the bag!”

“The guy never came back.”

“He asked you to watch them, not wear them.”

“I’m still watching them.”

- Jerry and George, in “The Mu n Tops”

Type #2 — Contradiction — One thing in logic that is often used in humor and that usually

serves the role of essence is known as contradiction or absurdity. This occurs when
contradictory statements are given or implied, producing a nonsensical, absurd situation. In

terms of formal logic, this is like having both “A” and “not A” (where A could be substituted
with anything). In formal logic having both “A” and “not A” simultaneously is considered

always false, or as some logicians say: absurd.

“What if something happens?”

“What could happen?”

“What if it felt good?”

“It’s supposed to feel good.”

“I don’t want it to feel good.”

 “Then why get the massage?”

“Exactly!”

- George, discussing a massage given by a male masseuse, with Elaine, in “The

Note”

Type #3 — False Cause — There is an informal fallacy called False Cause that is used in humor
and that often has the role of essence. False Cause happens when it is assumed that simply

because A has preceded B, that A has caused B.

“No doctors for me. A bunch of lackeys and yes-men all towing the company

line. Plus, they botched my vasectomy.”

“They botched it?”

“I’m even more potent now!”

- Kramer and Jerry, in “The Andrea Doria”

The Role of Enhancer — the logic or fallacy adds to the essence of what is funny to make it even

funnier.

Type #1 — Hasty Generalizations — occurs when a generalization is made from too few cases or,
as often seen in humor, when the generalization is obviously not true as a literal statement (a
clear exaggeration).

“So, what you are saying is that ninety to ninety- ve percent of the population is

undateable?”

“Undateable!”

“Then how are all these people getting together?”

“Alcohol.”

- Elaine and Jerry, in “The Wink”

 “What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the

nudity?”

“It can’t be the nudity. I never got into these terrible ghts and

misunderstandings when I was changing before gym class.”

- George and Jerry, in “The Deal”

“All bald people look good in hats.”

“You should have lived in the twenties and thirties, you know men wore hats all

the time then.”

“What a bald paradise that must have been. Nobody knew.”

- George and Elaine, in “The Parking Spot”

The Role of Mechanism — the logic or fallacy is what gets you from one thought to another.
When formal logic takes on the role of mechanism, valid logic is used to get the reader or
audience to make a certain inference from one idea to another.

“Well, behind every joke there’s some truth.”

“What about that Bavarian cream pie joke I told you? There’s no truth to that.

Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece

of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don’t have it he

says, ‘Ah, I’ll just have some co ee.’ There’s no truth to that.”

- Sheila and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”

“God would never let me be successful. He’d kill me rst. He’ll never let me be

happy.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in God?”

“I do for the bad things.”

- George and his therapist, in “The Pilot”

“I’ve been lying about my income for a few years. I gured I could a ord a fake

house in the Hamptons.”

- George, in “The Wizard”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not saying anything.”

“You’re saying something.”

“What could I be saying?”

“Well, you’re not saying nothing. You must be saying something.”

“If I was saying something, I would’ve said it.”

“Why don’t you say it?”

“I said it.”

“What’d you say?”

“Nothing.”

- Jerry and Elaine, in “The Red Dot”

“It’s a write-o for them.”

“How is it a write-o ?”

“They just write it o .”

“Write it o what?”

“Jerry, all these big companies, they write o everything.”

“You don’t even know what a write-o is.”

“Do you?”

“No, I don’t.”
“But they do. And they’re the ones writing it o .”

“I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back.”

- Kramer and Jerry, in “The Package”