DIVORCE: - REASON AND DIFFICULTIES FACED BY WOMEN FOR

CHILD AND HER MATERNAL FAMILY.

(With special reference to the Family court, Judicial Courts, Police

Stations of Vidarbha and Nagpur)

A RESEARCH PROJECT

Submitted to Nagpur University in Partial Fulfillment of the

Requirement for the degree of
MASTER OF SOCIAL WORK.

By:-

SOURABH GUPTA
MSW (Final)

RESEARCH SUPERVISOR

PROF. N. D. BHURE

PURUSHOTTAM THOTE COLLEGE OF SOCIAL WORK

NANDANWAN, NAGPUR

(NAGPUR UNIVERSITY)
2006-2007
 2

CERTIFICATE

This is to certify that Shri. Sourabh Chandramohan Gupta the

students of Master of Social Work (Final) of PURUSHOTTAM THOTE
COLLEGE OF SOCIAL WORK, NANDANWAN, and NAGPUR have
worked under my supervision and guidance for the Personal
Research Project entitled: “DIVORCE REASON AND DIFFICULTIES
FACED BY WOMEN FOR CHILD AND HER MATERNAL FAMILY.”

This research is submitted in partial fulfillment of the Degree of

Master of Social work, Nagpur University, Nagpur. This work of the
researchers is comprehensive, complete and sufficient to the
standard of Academic requirement.

Prof. N. D. Bhure DR. THOTE

Research Supervisor Principal

PURUSHOTTAM THOTE COLLEGE OF SOCIAL WORK,

NANDANWAN, NAGPUR
 3

DECLARATION

I hereby declare that the research project Entitled: “DIVORCE

REASON AND DIFFICULTIES FACED BY WOMEN FOR CHILD AND
HER MATERNAL FAMILY.” Is A Record Of The Individual Research
Carried Out By Me Under The Supervision Of Prof. N. D. Bhure.
This Has Not Been Submitted For the Award of Any Diploma,
Degree or Other Similar Title, To This or Any Other University

SOURABH GUPTA

Dated: 10/02/07
 4

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

In order to make this study a successful one the hard work,

generous help whole hearted kind co-operation and helping
hands of many people cannot be forgotten. Therefore it is my
bounded duty to acknowledge and express my sincere gratitude
to all those who on the stage or behind the screen were of great
help for us to accomplish the task of this research project.

I am deeply indebted to my research supervisor Prof. N. D. Bhure

the very well experienced lecturer of our College for her excellent
professional guidance and timely corrections.

I can not forget to thank my real source of motivation and

inspiration Smt. Katre, Counselor, family Court Nagpur and Smt.
Patil, Police Sub Inspector (PSI), Women Cell, Nagpur Rural Police,
Nagpur for their guidance.

The co-operative and kind help of the Women’s cannot be

forgotten who agreed to became the answering respondents for
the research work.

Thanks a lot!

SOURABH GUPTA

Nagpur
February 10th 2007
 5

LIST OF TABLES Pg

PERSONAL PROFILE OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE

1. Address of the Respondents residence 29
2. Age of the Respondent 30

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE

3. Family background of Respondent 30
4. Family values/ culture of Respondent family 30
5. Type of Respondent family 31
6. No. of family members of Respondent 31
7. Occupation of Respondent’s Father 31
8. Occupation of Respondent’s mother 32
9. Remembrance of the relationship of respondent
with her family
32
10. Relationship of respondent with her father and mother 32
11. Is there is anyone married except respondent father and
mother 33
12. If yes, what is the relationship of respondent with
him/ her 33
13. Either respondent parent are fully satisfied with their
marriage
33
14. Do respondent father, mother & other members of her
family take the best care of respondent possible?
34
15. Intervention of parents and relatives into respondent
personal problem/ in distress 34
16. Feeling about this behavior of respondent family. 34
 6

MARRIAGE AND RELATED QUESTIONS.

17. Respondent age at the time of marriage

35
18. Type of respondent marriage 35
19. Respondent’s previous fantasies about her marriage
35
20. Whether respondent was personally happy with
her marriage 36
21. Respondent’s husband’s occupation at the time of
marriage
36

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENTS HUSBAND

22. Description of respondent’s husband’s family
background 36
23. Family values/ culture of respondent’s husbands family 37
24. Area of the respondent husbands family 37
25. Type of respondent’s husbands family 37
26. Number of family members of respondent’s husbands
have 38
27. Occupation of respondent husbands Father 38
28. Occupation of respondent’s husbands mother/ mother
in law 38
29. Since from how many years respondent knows the
relationship of her husband with her family 39
30. Relation of in laws (husbands father and mother) with
respondent and her husband 39
31. Is there anyone married except respondent’s husbands
father and mother 39
32. How is the relationship of respondent’s husbands with
him/ her 40
 7

33. Either they are fully satisfied with respondent’s marriage

40
34. Caring of respondent by other member’s of husband’s
family 40
35. Intervene into respondent’s personal problem/ when
she is in distress 41
36. Feel of respondent about this behavior of her husbands
family 41

MARITAL DISPUTES AND DIVORCE

37. Age of respondent at the time of divorce

41
38. Medium of respondent divorce 42
39. Whom do respondent blame for her divorce 42
40. In Respondent’s opinion what will be the appropriate
reason of divorce 42
41. Whether respondent fell happy and relieved as the divorce
took place 43
42. Whether any member of respondent and / or her
husband’s family intervenes and tried to give
understanding before divorce 43

PRESENT SCHENARIO

43. With whom respondent is now residing with 44

44. Do respondent have any child & how many. 44
45. Who is taking care of them
44
46. Source of respondent’s income 45
47. How much do respondent earn 45

DIFFICULTIES FACED BY RESPONDENTS WITH HER

MATERNAL FAMILY AND CHILD

48. Feel of the respondent that she is facing some problems

in her maternal family 45
49. What are those problems 46
50. Origination of the family problems 46
 8

51. In respondent opinion what can be done to solve the same

47
52. What is respondent child doing 47
53. Do respondent feel that her child is facing any problem 47
54. Whether respondent’s child feel insecure due to their
broken relationship 48
55. What did respondent child ask from her about his father 48
56. Did respondent feel that her divorce has created an
impact on the development of her child
49
57. Whether respondent want to reunite again 49

LIST OF GRAPHS Pg

• Respondent age at the time of marriage 50

• Family background of Respondent 51

• Type of Respondent family 52
• Intervention of parents and relatives into respondent
personal problem/ in distress 53
• Type of respondent marriage 54
• Whom do respondent blame for her divorce 55
• Did respondent feel that her divorce has created an
impact on the development of her child 56
• Whether respondent want to reunite again
57
 9

CONTENTS

Description Pg No

Certificate -- 02

Declaration -- 03

Acknowledgement -- 04

List of Tables -- 05

List of Graphs -- 08

CHAPTER- I INTRODUCTION 10

CHAPTER- II METHODOLOGY OF THE STUDY 23

CHAPTER- III ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION OF

DATA 29

CHAPTER- IV MAJOR FINDING’S CONCLUSION AND

SUGGESSIONS 58

APPENDIX- (I) INTERVIEW SCHEDULE 74

APPENDIX- (II) BIBLIOGRAPHY 79

 10

CHAPTER- I

INTRODUCTION- THE PROBLEM

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore." "We got married
for all the wrong reasons." "I'm not attracted to you anymore." "Why
can't you admit that we just made a mistake?" "My affair isn't the
reason our marriage isn't working." "I never really loved you in the
first place." "It's time to tell the kids it's over."

Does any of this sound familiar? If so, my heart goes out to you.
There is little that is more painful than the feeling of love slipping
through your fingers. It hurts to wake up in the morning. You feel
disoriented and dizzy. Nothing else matters. Your life, your thoughts,
your feelings, your entire being is about your spouse falling out of
love with you. How could this happen? What went wrong? Didn't you
both promise to love, honour, and cherish each other through good
times and bad, through sickness and through health, for richer or for
poorer until death do you part? What happened to the dreams you
had for the future?
 11

If you have come here, you are probably someone who, though hurt
and devastated by your spouse's proclamation that your marriage is
over, refuses to accept it as a marital death sentence. I applaud
you. You know that ending a marriage is no way to solve
relationship problems. You feel surer than you've ever felt about
anything in your life that, no matter how tough things are right now,
they can get better. And most of all, you know that to fight for your
marriage is well worth it. The trouble is, your spouse doesn't know
this yet. And, chances are, what you've been doing to convince him
or she hasn't been working too well. That's why you're here. You
want to keep your marriage together but you aren't quite sure what
to do next. That's why I'm glad you found your way here. I am going
to help you do just that. But before I do, let me tell you a little bit
about myself.

From last 5 years I am studying law and after my graduation and

getting my prestigious degree of LL.B from Nagpur University I am
practicing law in the district courts of Bhandara and Nagpur district.
I have done graduation in Social Work in which I had completed my
dissertation on “An Exploratory Study on the Wife battering
concept with special reference to the childhood experiences
which the respondent husbands have”. Mostly I practice in the
Family courts where I have to work as a marriage consultant,
specializing in helping couples make their marriage work. But it
wasn't always that way. Early in my career, like many consultants, I
assumed that if people were unhappy in their marriage, they should
just get out. After all, I told myself, life is short and we all have the
right to be happy. But I soon learned the truth about divorce. It
doesn't necessarily bring happiness. In fact, in most cases, divorce
creates more problems than it solves.

Once I figure this out and truly took it to heart, I stopped being neutral about the
benefits of working things out and the pitfalls of getting out. I became an advocate for
marriage. I stopped pretending that the pain from divorce is only temporary. I grew
determined to help people keep their families together. I focused all of my energies on
developing methods to help couples fall back in love again. And I succeeded. Thus I
thought that this would be the best topic on which I should do the research hence I
selected the present topic.

SELECTION OF THE TOPIC

Being the student of Master of Social work and especially as I am
belonging to the specialization of Family and Child welfare, I got
attracted towards the topic. As I am proud to say that I am doing the
placement with the Women cell of Nagpur Superintendent of Police
(Rural) office. Thus I was coming across the regular marital
problems. I was finally surprised to see that the marital problems
which look so small and pretty become as big that one cannot
imagine. For example let me give you an example of the big Ice-
berg which if seen from above looks very small but when seen
 12

under water we get surprised that it is very big i.e. of un-imaginary

large size and it starts floating. Thus I was inclined towards the topic
of “DIVORCE: REASON AND DIFFICULTIES FACED BY WOMEN
FOR CHILD AND HER MATERNAL FAMILY.” Now in our field the
utmost importance is given to the counseling by various modes
while handling the marital disputes. Some time one side has to be
given more importance than the other no doubt it totally depends
on the situational skill of us but still handling the marital problems is
a great challenge. Thus with this view I had started my research
studies with special reference to the Family court, Judicial Courts,
Police Stations of Vidarbha in Nagpur District.

ANALYSIS, DEFINITIONS, CONCEPT, LEGAL TERMINOLOGY

INVOLVED IN THE TOPIC.

DIVORCE:

Word Divorce has been derived from the word diverse. Latin word
therefore is divortium. As ordinarily understood, Divorce is nothing
more or less then another name for dissolution of marriage i.e. party
cease to be husband and wife after the decree of Divorce is passed
between them. For Hindus it comes only as a consequence of
proceeding under Section- 13, 13- A or 13- B of this Act, while for
Muslims it may be consequence of proceeding at law may results
from the act of parties. Section 13 provides and enumerates the
grounds of Divorce. While permitting Divorce this Act protects the
customary Divorce among certain small classes of Hindus which is
outside its scope and not dealt with in specific terms.

When a marriage is practically dead and there is no chance of its

being retrieved, it is better to bring it to an end by passing decree of
dissolution of marriage.

Before commencement of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955, divorce

was unknown to Hindus. Hindus believed marriage a sacrament, a
 13

holy union for ever. Due to strong influence of Islam during Mugal
rule and that of Christianity during British rule and also with the
change of Social circumstances with more and more education
among girls, need of Divorce was felt under Hindu Law also. While
introducing relief of Divorce among Hindus sufficient safeguards are
taken and it is only on the grounds specified in Section – 13 a
divorce can be sought against the wishes of a party. Even in these
cases too a duty is cast on the court under Section – 23 (2) to make
every endeavor to bring about reconciliation between the parties.

HANDLING MARITAL PROBLEMS

Avoiding facing marital problems

Some married people avoid expressing their unhappiness to

"keep peace." Although well intentioned, this concealing of your
feelings and pain from your spouse month after month causes
serious harm to your marriage. The quiet one is denying the truth,
pretending to be happier than he/she is, minimizing the marital
problems, endangering his/her own health, avoiding a vital task
merely because it is stressful, trying to play it safe, acting
uncaringly and hostilely towards his/her spouse, and reneging on
his/her sacred vows to preserve the marriage. This is kind of
keeping the peace is the kind of behaviour that causes problems.
Honest openness is needed to maintain a marriage. Don't cop out.
Learn about "I" statements and empathy responding in chapter 13,
then get to work.

Some writers, e.g. Cole & Laibson (1982), believe that the hiding
of disagreements between husband and wife also gives children a
distorted view of marriage and deprives the children of the chance
to learn how to handle conflict. We need to realize that (1) all
thinking people disagree occasionally and (2) anger doesn't have to
destroy love. Many happy couples fight verbally or argue. Cole and
Laibson think parents should "fight" (disagree or argue but not get
verbally or physically abusive) in front of the kids and especially
show the children that arguments can and should lead to workable
solutions. Children shouldn't witness certain arguments, however,
such as about sex, child-rearing, money, relatives, or divorce, nor
should the children become involved in the argument if it is just
between the parents. Always assure the children that they aren't
causing the marital problems. No parent should ever involve a child
as an emotional substitute for the spouse, an ally against the other
parent, or as a pawn in the marital wars. The rules for fair, good,
constructive "fighting" are given in chapter 13; two psychologists
have written a book on how to conduct effective, beneficial family
 14

fights (Rubin & Rubin, 1988). If you can't follow these rules and the
arguments become vicious, name-calling, destructive battles, both
partners should get counseling.

Judith Siegel's new book, "What Children Learn from Their

Parents' Marriage," may help frightened or irritable or distant
spouses uncover the source of their emotions. Her point is that, as
young children, we observe closely the interactions between Mom
and Dad. Those experiences form a lasting basis for our
expectations and fears of marriage and intimacy. Unfortunately,
many children accurately see unhealthy relationships between their
parents... plus, and causing even more problems, the child
him/herself probably has distorted perceptions of the
parents'interactions and many children go beyond mere
misperceptions into gross distortions and horrible fantasies about
their parents' relationship, e.g. possibly imagining that the angry
spats of their parents could turn into dangerous out-of-control rages,
making the child very afraid of having disagreements with anyone
(as a child or later as a spouse/lover).

As Freud observed, we are, for unclear reasons, prone to repeat

the disturbing problems we observed or experienced in the past--
presumably so we can try to find a way to resolve the troubling
situation. However, if we come to realize what we are doing, for
instance, carrying our distorted fears as a child into our own
marriage, maybe we could find a way to avoid this "repetition
neurosis." Siegel's book should, at least, help some people review
their childhood experiences of their parents' marriage and,
hopefully, find the childhood origins of their current difficulties with
intimacy. Siegel's basic purpose, however, is to help parents realize
that their children are not only affected by the child's relationship
with each of them as individuals but also deeply affected by the way
they see Mom and Dad relating.

Loveless marriages; lasting doesn't mean loving

With divorce being common, why would anyone stay married to

someone he/she didn't love or even like? There are lots of reasons,
 15

according to Florence Koslow, a well known marriage counsellor.

This would include the same reasons young people do not break
engagements or leave boy/girlfriends when they suspect they
haven't made the best possible choice. If there are children, there
are powerful reasons to stay married, even if the marriage is
strained or dead. Even in a loveless marriage both parents can
preserve their close relationships with the children. Divorces often
strain and even destroy parent-child relationships as well as
terminate a marriage (see the discussion of step-parents later).
Many people are also trapped in marriage by their own fears: fear of
the unknown, fear of losing status (people gain status by marrying
an attractive, successful partner), fear of criticism, fear of being
alone, fear of intimacy and sex with someone new, fear that all
marriages are unhappy, fear of losing income, fear of doing harm to
the children, and a fear of raising children alone. These are serious
matters to consider.

Unfaithfulness

Even though surveys vary greatly in their estimate of infidelity

(from 25% to 70% of partners), the Kinsey Institute estimates that
about 35% of husbands and 30% of wives have been unfaithful.
Janus & Janus (1993) also found that more than 1/3 of husbands and
more than 1/4 of wives have had an extramarital experience, but
less than 1/4 of divorces are caused by affairs. Of course, as time
goes on, more of the faithful will become unfaithful. It may be hard
at first to separate the chronically unfaithful from those who have
only one brief affair in 55 years, but these are very different people.
Pittman (1989) distinguishes between adulterers and
womanizers. Adulterers (males) usually have one affair, typically
during a crisis--when passed over for a promotion or when his wife is
very busy--and then feels guilty. Womanizers compulsively seduce
women as a full-time avocation and hide this from their wives. They
often claim to have a high sex drive and a lust for sexual variety.
Their consultants say such men often don't like women or even sex.
Womanizers have a disease or an addiction, in which they see
women as the enemy. They think of "being a real man" as escaping
a woman's control and as being someone who can powerfully
manipulate and deceive women. Like a rapist, he seeks power and
superiority. Many had fathers who escaped their mothers via work,
divorce, or alcohol. There are some 12-step programs for
womanizers. Advice for consultants of people who have had affairs
is given by Eaker-Weil and winter (1993) and Brown (1991).

On the positive side, Greeley, Michael, & Smith (1990) report that
a high percentage of married people (ranging from 91% and 94% for
men and women under 30 to 95% or more of both sexes over 30)
were monogamous, i.e. had only one sex partner, during the last
year. But, the years roll on and those 5% and 9 percents add up.
 16

However, most marriages today are faithful and the belief in being
faithful to your spouse has steadily increased during recent
decades, even during the time that premarital sex was being
approved of more and more.

Unfaithfulness is always a devastating blow to the partner. We

feel crushed, like a part of us had been ripped out. We may be very
angry or sad or both. It isn't just that our partner wanted and did
have sex, the ultimate expression of love, with someone else, but
he/she lied to us, betrayed us, and had so little concern for our
feelings. Yet, two thirds of marriages survive infidelity. Many people
say they would "immediately throw the b------/b---- out." The
situation is more complex than that. A brief affair doesn't always
mean there is a serious problem with the marriage. Men having an
affair are not more unhappy with their marriage than faithful men;
women are more unhappy. Nevertheless, infidelity is a huge
problem even if the marriage survives. Putting love back together is
a long-term, difficult task in our culture (it's no big deal in some
cultures).

We need to realize how widely the rules about sex differ from culture to
Culture: we expect our spouse to be faithful, but 75% of societies are
Polygamous.

Frank Pittman (1989) clarifies some of the misconceptions

about infidelity:

1. No, not everyone has affairs; about one third to one half of
us does (although some new research suggests maybe up to
73%) over a period of years. Women, especially younger
employed women, are having about as many affairs as men,
but the difference is that men frequently have brief affairs or
one-night-stands while women are more likely to get
emotionally involved. Only about 20% of married men are
continuous, compulsive philanderers or womanizers. Pittman's
experience is that womanizers usually get divorced (often
after many years). Faithful partners rarely get divorced.

2. No, having an affair doesn't always mean that love is

gone. Both men and women sometimes just want sex, not
love. Occasionally, a spouse has an affair as a warning or a
"wake up call" for his/her partner. Often an affair reflects an
ego that needs inflating. Or, a person finds him/herself in a
tempting situation or in a friendship which gets out of sexual
control. Affairs frequently mean that the wayward spouse has
a problem, not that he/she doesn't love you any more.
 17

Nevertheless, it often inadvertently ends in divorce. Pittman

says with honest work on the marriage, couples therapy, and
with forgiveness (once), the marriage can gradually revive.

3. No, the "other woman/man" is not always

beautiful/handsome or sexually "hot." Pittman says the
choices are mostly neurotic or a mishandled friendship. Sex is
not usually the main purpose. No, the deceived faithful spouse
did not "make me do it." The unfaithful one makes the
decision to "act out" his/her feelings via an affair. No, it isn't
best to keep your affair secret or to pretend you don't know
about your partner's affair. For sake of the marriage, the mess
of the affair and other problems need to be dealt with. Affairs
often die when exposed; marriages often die when
problems are unexposed. Only 1 in 7 new marriages
resulting from an affair

are successful.

4. No, the best approach is not to "keep it a secret." In

fact, the suppressed emotions erupt and the marital problems
multiply; thus, much honesty and work, usually in couple’s
therapy, is almost always needed to salvage the marriage. (An
isolated, meaningless one night stand may be another
matter.) If you are tempted to be unfaithful, read Pittman's
book or one of several others, e.g. Lawson (1989) or Lindquist
(1989), before doing so, to find out what you are facing and
why. It's seldom worth it. If your spouse has been unfaithful to
you, read Galabad (1990) or Doles & Lehman (1985). Pulling
your marriage back together is possible (Rubinstein &
Richards, 1994; Weil, 1994; Spring, 1997--recommended),
even trust, forgiveness, and intimacy is sometimes possible.

Lessons from lasting marriages

Rather than studying failing marriages, several people (Waller

stein & Blakeslee, 1995; Gottlieb, 1990; Hendrix, 1991; Klagsbrun,
1985; Lauer & Lauer, 1985) have explored successful marriages to
see why they last. Both men and women give the same basic
reasons:

• My partner is my best friend and I like him/her as a

person; I put him/her first over all others, over my work, over
TV, over everything. It isn't just "you're # one" in spirit; I
actually give him/her my whole attention and make time
every day.
• I regard marriage as a deep, almost sacred
commitment; we've had some disagreements but never for a
moment did I seriously consider divorce. We worked it out. To
 18

love, you must feel emotionally safe--totally accepted,

respected, and supported. Therefore, we don't criticize or
strike out in anger, instead we gently request a change (see
method #4 in chapter 13).

• I enjoy my partner, we laugh and touch, we confide, we

agree on values, goals, and sex. We look for the good in each
other and in life; thus, we are optimistic. We have wide
interests and try new things. We try to have fun.

• We have equal power; we respect our partner's wishes and

know we can't always have our way; disagreements are
negotiated (method #10 in chapter 13). Decisions are made
fairly, some together, some by me, and some by him/her. We
both make changes when needed, tolerate losses, and accept
unresolved conflicts. We are patient and forgiving.

• We accept and trust each other, permitting honesty and

security; I tell him/her everything (methods #6 and #7 in
chapter 13). I love the closeness; we share our minds, hearts,
and souls. We listen to the other (see method #2 in chapter
13).
• We are equally dependent on each other in ways that
enrich our lives; and we are equally independent from each
other in ways that enrich our lives. We do so much together
and agree on most issues, but we have a clear sense of self
and do things by ourselves. Clearly, we think for ourselves.

• We cherish our time together, expressing our appreciation

of each other for little acts of kindness as well as major
sacrifices. We treasure our memories and frequently remind
each other of the good times.

Note: Of course, everyone would stay together if they were getting all these
benefits. No one has it so good but some come close. These are ideal goals which
require a good psychological adjustment, great skill, and effort to achieve. In this
sense, good marriages are not "made in heaven."

Interestingly, these lasting marriages challenge several ideas put

forth by professionals. For instance, less than 10% say that good
sex keeps their marriage together. Few buy the idea of fighting
fairly; they say intense anger would hurt their relationship. Many
said that the egalitarian relationship notion can be damaging, if it is
understood to mean everything is 55-55, because the truth is that
both partners need to give in 60% or 70% of the time, at least it
seems that way. About 33% of these older women feel the women's
movement has helped their marriage, 22% say it has harmed, and
21% see good and bad consequences (Sanger, 1983). Marriage
 19

experts stress that spouses need separate interests and activities;

these married people say they do some things independently but
the emphasis should be on trying to spend as much time together
as possible (Lauer & Lauer, 1985, 1986).

Maintaining intimacy throughout marriage

John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth developed the theory that

attachment to another person is our primary motive in life. Between
6 months and one year of age, human infants who are "securely
attached" to mommy (or a caretaker) begin to explore the world in
brief excursions, starting the process of gaining self-confidence and
independence. If a child of that age is taken away from his/her
mom, however, they usually respond with crying, reaching out, and
other protests. When mom is brought back, they want to be close--
they hug, cling, look at her with hurt eyes, and then they turn on the
charm, cooing and smiling. The point? We need attachments
(intimacy). We don't all respond that way to detachment, however.
About 40% of infants are very upset when separated but when re-
united with mom, they approach and reject her, presumable
because she is sometimes attentive and affectionate and
sometimes not. They are considered "insecurely attached" and have
trouble exploring the world. These attachment styles supposedly
last a lifetime. So, perhaps 40% of us adults respond with anger
when we feel rejected.

Marriage consultants (Johnson, 1994), following the attachment

theory, consider anger expressed by a spouse to be an effort to
restore closeness and intimacy to the relationship (although the
attacked spouse is likely to see it and feel it as tearing the marriage
apart). Anger is considered a natural protest to loosing security or
love. So, if both partners can re-interpret or "reframe" the spouse's
anger into being a cry for regaining lost love and attachment, then
the angry partner can become aware of the loneliness behind the
anger and the criticized partner can be more sympathetic, a better
listener, and more open about his/her own insecurities. Thus, the
cycle of attack, building resentment, and counter-attack is broken. If
both spouses can disclose their tender underlying feelings, such as
the fear behind silent withdrawal, the couple is well on the way to a
"secure attachment" and a good marriage.

There are lots of detachments in life. In a mobile society, we

often leave our families of origin at 18, never to return. With
marriage, we often lose contact with our college and casual friends.
We never get over our need for intimacy, however, and in today's
culture, we seem to be looking more than ever for continuing
intimacy with our spouse. Ordinarily lots of disclosing occurs early in
a relationship, but within a few years it fades away. In the past,
there were many barriers to intimacy in marriage: gender inequality
 20

(e.g. men more educated), false or unreasonable expectations of

the opposite sex, dependent ties with families of origin, "unfinished
business" from family or previous relationships, women involved
with children, men obsessed with work, few examples of intimate
parents, etc. Several of these barriers are declining and, as that
happens, the emphasis on obtaining true intimacy in marriage is
increasing (Gordon & Frandsen, 1993; Young-Eisendrath, 1993;
Barbach & Geisinger, 1992; Campbell, 1980, 1984; Emmons &
Alberti, 1991).

Young-Eisendrath (1993) sees old gender stereotypes as

engendering false expectations of the opposite sex. She feels a
spouse can find out what the other is really like by talking. Research
by Bradbury and Fincham (1990) supports this notion, except they
say that it is the way we have learned to explain our spouse's
behavior that must be changed first. As discussed above, unhappy
spouses see their spouse as having bad intentions, selfishness, and
permanent negative traits that cause problems. With this attitude, it
is hard to give any praise or to be nice. In fact, faking it by "talking"
and feigning being "understanding" or pretending to make efforts to
reconciliate usually make things worse, until in your own mind your
views of the spouse's motivations become more positive. This
cognitive aspect--viewing the partner positively--is part of all these
efforts to increase intimacy. Barbach and Geisinger (1992)
concentrate on understanding how our previous relationships, such
as an absent father or a critical former wife, influence our current
love. They emphasize friendship, respect, trust, and sexual
satisfaction.

Firestone and Catlett (1999) operate on a very different theory,

namely, that the fear of intimacy stems from early childhood when
we develop a primative "fantasy bond" with Mom as a defense
against separation anxiety. The parent's negative qualities or
anything seen as rejection are responded to with anger, fear, and
maybe guilt. Later on, with the idea of death, the child strengthens
the fantasy bond (for safety), the idealization of one or both parents,
the withdrawal of feelings from the world, and the depreciation of
his/her own self. In the ongoing attempt to defend ourselves from
hurts, we develop an internal "voice" that talks to us mostly about
grave dangers and painful feelings. It is our earliest self-concept; it
tells us what we should do and controls us with criticism,
commands, and warnings. The result is a lot of fear and guilt. Later
in life, after we fall in love, the voice is still very alive--telling us we
are unloveable, inadequate, stupid, etc. and often trying to get our
partner to treat us like our parent(s) did. To further defend
ourselves we become insensitive, numbed and withdrawn.
Firestone's "Voice Therapy" helps you become aware of the cruel,
nasty, intense things the voice says about you, your partner, and
others. Awareness of the voice sometimes brings back memories of
 21

childhood that explain our current feelings. The task then is to plan
ways to change one's harmful behavior, expectations, fears, and
prejudices, so the relationship can grow positively. It is not an easy
therapy and may require a therapist but the book is easily read and
understood.

Lori Gordon (Gordon & Frandsen, 1993) has developed a 120-

hour class for teaching intimacy skills to people who haven't gotten
what they wanted from marriage and, subsequently, stopped
confiding, walled themselves off, found other ways to spend their
time, etc. The course has been shown to reduce anxiety and anger,
increase marital satisfaction, and improve self-esteem. Her
approach is to encourage confiding to each other, and from this
comes self-understanding, insight into the history of the
expectancies or emotional baggage we bring into a marriage,
mellowing of one's negative feelings towards the partner, feelings of
security, and intimacy. The course teaches the skills of open, honest
communication, listening, empathy, and forgiveness (see chapters 7
and 13). Much of the confiding is about their personality and
emotional development in the context of their family's emotional
history, i.e. what were we taught about ourselves, love, sex, morals,
unspoken family rules, confiding, trust, intimacy, etc. Eventually, we
find that the source of our marital misunderstandings and negative
expectations is our history, not our spouse. Here are some exercises
Gordon recommends:

1. Daily Temperature Reading --at the same time every day, hold
hands and (a) express appreciation for something your spouse
has done, (b) share some information about your mood or
activities, (c) ask about something you don't understand
("Wonder why I got so upset about the phone bill?" or "Why
were you quiet last night?"), (d) request some change without
blaming the spouse ("Please call if you won't be home by 5" or
"Please don't wear the pants with the rip in the crotch any
more"), and (e) express some hope ("I hope we can go hiking
this weekend").
2. Bonding exercise --when you are upset with your spouse, ask
for some bonding. (a) Lie down and hold each other. (b)
Describe what is bothering you (your partner just listens), be
specific. (c) Share your memories of the past that seem
connected with your emotional reaction to the spouse ("Your
having lunch with ____. made me think of my first
wife's/husband's affair..."). (d) Tell your spouse what you
needed to have happen in your history that would have
reduced your being upset now. (Maybe your spouse can say or
do, at this time, what you needed long ago.) (e) Discuss how
the past--the inner child, old hurts, Papa's rules, unfinished
business, etc.--has a powerful effect on you today. (f) Plan
 22

ways both of you can help avoid the unwanted emotional

reaction in the future.
3. Play dead --Arrange for an hour in a private place. One person
lies on the floor and pretends to be dead. The other person
imagines his/her spouse is dead. The purpose is not to
emotionally grieve so much but rather to talk about things you
appreciated about the partner, what you will miss about the
partner, and what you wish you had done while he/she was
alive. The "dead" person can't talk, just listen. When finished,
then the other person plays dead. This can be a powerful
experience. Use what you learn to improve the relationship in
the future.

Gottman (1994) reminds us that for a good relationship our

negative emotions (criticism, contempt, emotional withdrawal,
boredom, loneliness) must be out numbered by positive emotions
(interesting activities, conversation, affection, appreciation,
concern, fun, sex) by 5 to 1. We all need love and respect. It is
important that spouses don't dismiss their partners' complaints nor
let their complaints become personally insulting or expressions of
contempt. Make your requested changes very behaviorally specific.
It is crucial to keep love relationships positive. How? Call "time out"
in any fight as soon as it starts to get out of control. Do this by
taking a break for 15-20 minutes and calming down; you can't be
irate and rational at the same time. Be sure to replace your hate-
generating thoughts with more positive or tolerant thoughts about
your spouse. Express your unhappiness, gently, but curb the vitriolic
attacks on his/her character. Belligerent or domineering talk has no
place in a marriage. In fact, attempt to frequently communicate
some praise and admiration to your spouse (even during a
confrontation). Remember the good times. Be optimistic. Be an
empathic listener, don't shut out your partner. Let them know you
understand their feelings and desires. All this self-control when
being criticized is not easy, it takes skill (chapter 13) and lots of
practice.
 23

CHAPTER TWO

METHODOLOGY:

CONCERN OF THE PROBLEM UNDER STUDY

CONCEPT OF THE PROBLEMS

RESEARCH DESIGN (Type of the Study)

A) Exploratory:- The concept of Divorce is rather not
unknown to any body and therefore the researcher is also well
aware about the term of Divorce. But as the topic of the
dissertation/ research study describes the researcher has to find out
the reason of Divorce in particular. Further the researcher has to
also ask the responses from the answering respondents about the
reason of divorce, their impact on her, on the family and specifically
on the children. In order to get all the related information the
researcher will deal with 55 respondents. In order to ge more
information researcher will go the various offices, agencies,
institutions etc to get the details as it is practically difficult to find
out the divorces women’s in the society. Thus as written under the
 24

name and style of reference the researcher will visit the Family
court, Nagpur, Judicial court of Nagpur, Bhandara, Gondia and other
adjoining district, Police stations of Vidarbha and also of Nagpur.

B) Descriptive Study: - This would mean that researcher

would go into details of literatures which have done the job regading
the Divorce, Handling Marital problems, about the adjustment of
Childs and their correctional measures. This literately studies are
only to substantiate the information that researcher collect from the
various agencies.

OBJECTIVES OF THE STUDY

A) Preliminary Objectives:
The preliminary objectives of the study is to understand or to know
the basic factors of the marriage institution, the reason of increasing
differences among husband and wife, marital problems and Divorce,
its impact on the Women, her family and specifically about the
impact on Divorce on Children’s.

B) Secondary Objectives:
• To study the status of the family background of the
women’s who have encountered Divorce.
• To get in the details about the specific reason of Divorce
and the reason of increasing the unrest ito their
relationships.
• To study about the Social, Economical, Psychological,
Developmental background of the Divorcee womens.
• To study about the maternal family/ the persons with
whom the respondent is staying.
• To gather the information about the Children of the
respondents, their status, problems of maintaining the
children’s and specifically about the impact on Divorce
on their Psychological and other development.

AREAS OF THE STUDY

The area of study is Vidarbha as written under the name and style
of reference. The researcher will visit the Family court, Nagpur,
Judicial court of Nagpur, Bhandara, Gondia and other adjoining
district, Police stations of Vidarbha and also of Nagpur to rather the
related information and also about the surveys.

SAMPLING
Sampling is the selection of respondents from the universe. The
Universe of the study is not known. But since the study of the
individuals who are the Divorced housewives, efforts are made to
locate such individuals, wherever they are available even in the
various agencies and thus included in the sample. In this way the
present researcher has to visit those 55 Divorced housewives who
 25

accepted to say something about their past marital life and present,
and specifically of those who accepted to give the answers to the
researcher.

The Sampling is therefore non- probability purposeful

sampling.

METHODS OF DATA COLLECTION

The present study required a considerable amount of Data. In order
to collect the most appropriate data from the respondents the
Primary method of data collection was used and enlisted as follows:-

PRIMARY METHODS

I) Observation Method:
In this method a good rapport establishment of respondent with
researcher plays a very major and important role. The researcher is
present in the field from where he makes observation and from
there collects the relevant data according to the object of his study.

This method also includes the careful observation of Respondent’s

state of mind; intensity of thoughts; emotional stigma attached;
aggressive and other related tendencies and the physical posture of
the respondent forms the core of this observation method.

II) Interview Method:

It is a systematic method by which on person enters more or less
imaginatively into the inner life of another who is generally a
comparative stranger to him.

SECONDARY METHODS
The secondary data for this study was obtained from the related
literature on the subject and formal and informal discussions.

The literature related to the research topic includes:

 Books related to the Divorce, Marital Psychology, Adjustment
attitudes.
 The Periodicals and Journals, the articles published thereto
about the mental depression, Childs development in stressful
conditions.
 Various research papers and Scholarly articles of the topic
available on the Internet on various websites and so also in
the various conferences.
 Papers presented during the discussions and informative
sessions held inside the college and during field work.

TOOLS OF DATA COLLECTION

For study I used the Interview schedule as a tool for data collection.
I used mixed questions (open and closed end questions) in my
 26

schedule. My schedule contains the Topic of the study, Age, Marital

Status, Family Background, Housing Condition, Educational Status,
Age of Marriage, Type of marriage, Husband and his full details
including family, Expenditure in marriage, Expectations from the
partner, Tensions and trouble faced, Involvement of family members
into their decision, Birth of the Child, Reason of Marriage dis-
satisfaction, At present place of Residence, Attitude of the family
members, Expectations about her and her Child’s future, Childs
progress and difficulties faced, Suggessions as to revitalizing the
marital life, Experience about the factors leading a happy married
life.

During the data collection the researcher first tried to develop a

purposeful relationship with the respondents and I proceeded with
the personal interviews.

THE PROCESSING OF DATA:

In this study the collection of data was done mainly through the
structured interview schedule method. After the collection of data
the schedules were once again collected and rechecked. The
incomplete questionnaires were edited. Thus the data collected
through the help of interview schedule was coded by transferring
responces in numerical terms and with the help of code book the
data was transferred in the master chart. After this the statistical
tables were prepared. The graphs were used in order to simplify the
presentation and to facilitate comparison.

STEPS OF THE STUDY

The following steps were used for this study:
1. Selection of the Problem
2. Fixing the Topic on which the study is to be done
3. Study of Research literature
4. Preparation of Bibliography
5. Definition of the Problem
6. Analysis and classification of elements in the problem
7. Investigation and study of materials related to the problem
8. Promulgation of research design
9. Collection of data
10. Tabulation and Systematization
11. Analysis and interpretation of data
12. Verification of the problem,
13. Generalization and projective part

REPORT WRITING
At the very outset of the research a brief Theory is given about the
study of the Divorce, the main instances and factors which are
leading to marital adjustment has been covered into the heading of
Difficulties faced by Men and Women. The problem of solving the
 27

marital dispute is put under the heading of Handling of marital

problems. Child and Divorce topic in the research covers the aspect
of the Childrens and divorce and the problem faced by them.
I the researcher have undertaken this study in order to expose the
truth about the main problems of Divorce, reason of increasing
marital dissatisfaction, the impact of Divorce on the Child and also
on the other members of the family especially of the growing child.

The data which is collected from the survey is analyzed and

interpreted. In order to make this study accurate and attractive a
few graphs, cross tables, cutting of the daily newspapers and some
colored plates (photograph) are used so that people may look to the
result at a glance. This has been possible only because the collected
data is presented in the form of Diagrams and Graphs.

The study has also been done with the help of secondary sources
and documents. References are given at the end of the report along
with an interview schedule used in the survey.

CHAPTERIZATION
Chapter 1:It deals with the theoretical background and present
scenario of the family problem of Divorce.

Chapter 2:It deals with the methodology of the study.

Chapter 3:It deals with the analysis and interpretation of data.

Chapter 4:Major findings, conclusions and the suggestions of the

study are described in this chapter.

DIFFICULTIES FACED:

Some of the problems faced by myself are mentioned as under:-

A) DIFFICULTIES FACED IN INTERVIEW AND RECORDING

THE RESPONCES:

1. First of all the most difficult thing was to get the

information about the divorcee wives from a large group
and in croud. However I am thankful to the incharge officer
who had gone out of the way and helped me to get the
answering respondents about the topic.
2. Secondly, the major problem faced by me was to convince
the answering respondents about interview, getting
responces etc. Here the researcher has to use his skill of
Rapport Establishment only after that the respondents
partially agreed to give the responses.
3. One another major problem faced by me was the sex/
gender difference as all the answering respondents were
 28

the divorcee women’s of various age groups who firstly

hesitated to talk to the researcher about their personal
problems. But after requesting them a lot and explaining
them about the anonymity of them and the utility of
research project they agreed to respond & co-operated
well.
4. To get the most accurate data the researchers met with
the respondent when they were in mood to disclose the
information. For the reason after many frequent visits, I got
the correct data.
5. The next major problem was to record accurately the
points in interview schedule during sorting and online vocal
editing of the responses.
6. Interference of the other family members and relatives at
the time of interview with respondents was also one of the
major difficulties faced.

B) DIFFICULTIES FACED IN INTERPRETATION OF DATA:

1. Coding and clubbing the similar responses.

2. Tabulation of Open ended questions.
3. Construction of Graphs.
4. Drawing the Conclusion.

HYPOTHESIS FRAMED:

1. Divorce is the main family problem which is increasing

day by day to which the primary factor is marital and
psychological misunderstanding and the other factors
are economic (dowry demand, expectations etc.), social,
interference by relatives etc.

2. Divorce has a very bad psychological effect on the

women and even after the repeated efforts the trauma
and stigma of divorce is not wiped/ clean of.

3. The maternal family of divorcee women always uses to

insult women and use to pass bad comments resulting
mostly into the maternal maladjustment, psychological
and emotional breakdown.

4. The children’s of the divorcee women had an incomplete

psychological growth and the lack of their father use to
create an emotional lacuna, resulting into the
development of interest to understand the man-women
relationship.
 29

5. Overall speaking divorce is a curse on the life of mostly

women which finally breaks down her resulting into the
maladjustment with the maternal family members,
relatives and incomplete growth of children and the
increased economic dependency.

CHAPTER THREE

ANALYSIS AND INTERPRETATION OF DATA

In order to arrive at a certain conclusion, data from concrete life

solution is very much essential. They are only a means of answering
it. Once the data s collected the researcher has to firstly order them
in a specific manner giving due weight to them. secondly, they have
to analyze and interpret the data to firm an assumed conclusion or
hypothesis. The analysis of the data involves a number of closely
related operation such as Classification of data, Coding, Editing,
Tabulation, Statistical analysis, in which the data is organized in the
ligh of research problem.

Interpretation of data means the process of exposition by which

research findings or conclusions are brought to a broader meaning
by editing them in the light of available knowledge or established
theories or principles. In other words, the interpretation of data
reveals the abstract into concrete and simple. In the following pages
researcher will analyze and interpret the data giving due weight to
the fundamental questions of the research.
 30

PERSONAL PROFILE OF THE WIFE

Table no. 3.1

Table showing the Area of Respondents Residence

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Residential Area No of Respondents
Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Nagpur Urban/ City 37 67%
Nagpur Rural 18 33%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________

From the above recorded data we can say that out of the total
respondents the majority of them 67% belongs from the Nagpur
urban/ city area whereas there are only 33% of respondents
belonging to the Nagpur rural area.

Hence we can say that the majority of the respondents are the
resident of Nagpur Urban/ City.

Table no. 3.2

Table showing the Age wise distribution of Respondents
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Age Group No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
18-25 21 38%
26-35 15 27%
36-55 13 24%
56 & above 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data indicated that the majority of respondents
38% belonging to the age group of 18-25, the second largest age
group is 26 to 35 which are 27%. The respondents from the age
group are 36-55 which are 24% and the smallest amount is of 11%
which comes in the Age group of 56 and above.

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE

Table no. 3.3

Table showing the description of Respondents family background
 31

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents family background No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Higher 25 45%
Middle 20 37%
Lower 10
18%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 45% of the
respondents came from higher family background whereas 37% are
from middle and rest 18% belongs from lower family background.

Table no. 3.4

Table showing the family values/ culture of Respondent family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Family Values No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Traditional 32 58%
Modern 23 42%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data clearly reveals that a majority 58% of the
family culture of respondent’s are traditional ad only 42% are of
modern background.
Hence it can be said that a majority of respondents belongs from
the traditional family background.

Table no. 3.5

Table showing the type of Respondents Family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Responce No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Nuclear 37 67%
Joint 18 33%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
Above recorded data say’s that 67% of the respondent belongs from
the nuclear family and rest 33% are from the joint family.

Table no. 3.6

Table showing the no. of family members of Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Family members No of Respondents
Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
 32

1-4 37 67%
5-8 12 22%
8 & above 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say’s that in case of 67% of respondents
they have 1 to 4 family members, while 22% of respondent have 5
to 8 family members, only 11% of respondents have 8 and more
family members.

Table no. 3.7

Table showing the occupation of Father of Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Fathers Occupation No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Private service 27 49%
Govt. Servent 10 18%
Business 15 27%
None 03 06%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that a majority 49% of
respondent’s fathers occupation was private service while 27% of
respondents father were doing some business other 18% were doing
Govt job. Only 6% of respondents father were doing nothing.

Table no. 3.8

Table showing the occupation of mother of Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Mothers Occupation No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Private Service 26 47%
Govt. Servant 06 11%
Business 08 15%
Housewife 15 27%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that a majority 47% of
respondent’s mothers occupation was private service while 27% of
respondents mother were doing household work other 15% were
doing Business. Only 11% of respondents mother were on the Govt
service.

Table no. 3.9

 33

Table showing Since from childhood from how many years

Respondent can remember the relationship of her with family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Rememberance No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
1-5yr 10 18%
6-10yr 08 14%
11-15yr 20 37%
16 & above yr 17 31%

_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
A majority 37% of the respondent’s had remembering the
relationship from 11 to 15 yrs, 31% remembers the same from 16
and more age group while 18% respondents said that they
remember the same from 1-5 yr of their childhood. Only 14 % of the
respondents remember the same from 6-10 year of childhood years.

Table no. 3.10

Table showing Respondent’s relation with her father and mother
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Parental Relationship No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Good 26 47%
Stained 14 26%
Can’t Say 15 27%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say’s that 47% respondents had a good
relationship with her parents & family while 26% have the same as
stained relationship. Only 27% of respondent can’t say in this
regard.

Table no. 3.11

Table showing Marital status of other family members of
Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent Marital status of family No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 31 57%
No 24 43%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 57% of respondents
other family members excluding parents are married while 43% of
the respondent has witnessed no such marriage.
 34

Table no. 3.12

Table showing the relationship of other married family members
with Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Family Relationship No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Good 21 38%
Bad 28 50%
Can’t say 06 12%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded say’s that 50% of the respondent had bad
relationship with the other married family members while 38% has
good and 12% can not say about the same.

Table no. 3.13

Table showing the marital satisfaction of Respondent’s parents
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent parents satisfaction No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 33 60%
No 10 18%
Can’t say 12 22%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 60% of the
respondents parents are satisfied with their marriage while 22% can
not say and 18% says that there are no such satisfactory
relationship.

Table no. 3.14

Table showing the caring approach of Respondent’s father, mother
& other members
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent Parents Caring Approach No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 26 47%
No 21 38%
Can’t say 08 15%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
Above recorded data reveals that 47% of the respondents had
received good caring approach of her parents while 38% opinions
are negative and 15% can’t say in this regard.
 35

Table no. 3.15

Table showing the intervention of family members into
Respondent’s family affairs
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Family’s Intervention No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 30 55%
No 19 34%
Can’t say 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that in 55% of cases
generally respondent’s family members intervene into their family
matters while 34% respondent’s said no such intervention and 11%
can’t say in this regard.

Table no. 3.16

Table showing Respondent’s feeling towards the intervention into
her family affairs
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Feeling No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Excellent 37 67%
Improper 10 18%
Highly Unsatisfied 08
15%

_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say’s that 67% of respondents feels such
intervening approach of parents as excellent while 18% feel it as
improper and only 15% can’t say in this regard.

MARRIAGE AND RELATED QUESTIONS.

Table no. 3.17

Table showing the Age of Respondent at the time of Marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Age at marriage No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
18-21 22 40%
22-25 16 29%
26-30 10 18%
31 & above 07 13%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
 36

_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 40% of respondents
were between the age group of 18-21 at the time of marriage while
29% were 22-25 yrs of age and 18% were between 26-30 yrs of age.
Only 13% of respondent’s were 31 and above at the time of
marriage.

Table no. 3.18

Table showing the Respondent’s type of marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents marriage type No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Arrange 35 63%
Love 20 37%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say’s that 63% of respondents had
arrange marriage while 37% had love marriage.

Table no. 3.19

Table showing the previous fantasies of Respondent about marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Previous fantacies No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Husbands are good 23 42%
Paternal In laws are cruel 05 08%
Maternal family are more helpful 14 26%
None 13 24 %
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
This question was open ended later on the basis of responses
recorded into objective. 42% of the respondent say that the
husbands are good while 26% of the respondent had the fantacy
that the maternal family members remain to be more helpful only
8% of respondents had the presumption that paternal in laws are
cruel. Rest 24% of respondents had no presumption in this regard.

Table no. 3.20

Table showing the satisfaction of Respondent with her marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents experience No of Respondents
Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 31 57%
No 24 43%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
 37

_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that a majority of 57% of
respondent’s are satisfied with the marriage while the rest 43& are
not satisfied with the marriage.

Table no. 3.21

Table showing the occupation of Respondents husband at the time
of marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Husbands occupation No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Private Service 21 38%
Govt. Servant 12 22%
Business 17 31%
None 05 09%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
A majority of 38% of the respondent’s husbands were doing the
private service at the time of marriage, 31% husbands were doing
some business while 22% were on the Govt job. Only 9% of the
respondents husbands were not doing nothing at the time of
marriage.

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENTS HUSBAND

Table no. 3.22

Table showing the Respondent Husband’s family background
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent Husband’s background No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Higher 21 38%
Middle 28 51%
Lower 06
11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that majority 51% of the
respondent’s husband’s were from middle family background while
38% were from the higher family background only 11% were
belonging from the low family background.

Table no. 3.23

Table showing the Family/ Cultural values of Respondent’s Husband
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent Husband Values No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Traditional 31 57%
 38

Modern 24 43%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that the majority 57% of
the respondent’s have traditional family background while other
43% has the modern family background.

Table no. 3.24

Table showing the Area of Respondent’s Husband Residence
_____________________________________________________________________
Rept Husband’s Residential Area No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Urban 36 65%
Rural 19 35%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 65% of the
respondent’s husbands reside in the urban area while other 35%
were from the rural background.

Table no. 3.25

Table showing the type of Respondent’s husband’s family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Husband’s family No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Single 36
65%
Joint 19 35%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________

The above recorded data reveals that 65% of the respondent’s

husband’s family were from the single family and the other 35%
were from the joint family.

Table no. 3.26

Table showing the no of family members of Respondents Husband
_____________________________________________________________________
Respt Husband’s Family members No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
1-4 28 51%
5-8 12 22%
8 & above 15 27%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
 39

_____________________________________________________________________
Above recorded data say that 51% of te respondent’s husbands
have 1 to 4 family members in their family while 27% have 8 and
above family members. Only 22% have 5-8 family members.

Table no. 3.27

Table showing the occupation of Respondents husbands father
_____________________________________________________________________
Res Husbands father occupation. No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Private service 07 13%
Govt. Servent 28 50%
Business 14 26%
None 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 50% of the
respondent’s husbands father were Govt servent while 26% were
doing business and 13% were doing private service. Only 11% were
doing nothing.

Table no. 3.28

Table showing the occupation of Respondent’s husbands mother
_____________________________________________________________________
Resp mother in law’s occupation No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Private service 05 10%
Govt. Servant 16 29%
Business 05 08%
Housewife 29 53%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 08% of the
respondent’s husbands mother were doing business while 29% were
Govt servent and 10% were doing private service. A majority 53%
were doing household work.

Table no. 3.29

Table showing the year of remembrance of Respondents husband
relationship with his family
_____________________________________________________________________
Resp Husbands remembrance No of Respondents
Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
1-5 04 07%
6-10 11 20%
11-15 28 51%
 40

16 & above 12 22%

_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 51% of the
respondent’s husband remembers are remembering their
relationship from their family from 11-15 yrs of age, while 22%
remember from 16 yrs age and 20% remembers the same from 6-
10 yrs. Only 7% of respondents were remembering the same from
1-5 yrs of age.

Table no. 3.30

Table showing the type of relationship of Respondents with husband
and in laws
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Relationship No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Good 28 51%
Stained 22 40%
Can’t Say 05 09%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data reveals that the 51% of the respondent
had good relationship with her husband and in laws while 40%
respondent said that they had stained relationship. Only 9% can’t
say anything in this regard.

Table no. 3.31

Table showing whether anyone was married in the Respondents
husbands family except in laws
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent In laws marital status No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 27 49%
No 28 51%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that in 51% of the cases
the respondent’s husbands other relatives except in laws were not
married but it has happened in the 49% of cases.

Table no. 3.32

Table showing the relationship of Respondents husband with his
married relatives except parents
_____________________________________________________________________
Resp Husbands Relationship No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
 41

Good 25 46%
Bad 26 47%
Can’t say 04 07%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
Above recorded data say that in 47% of cases the husbands
relationship with the other married relationship were bad while in
46% of cases the relations were good while 7% can’t say in this
regard.

Table no. 3.33

Table showing the marital satisfaction of Respondents husbands
married family members except in laws
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 24 43%
No 21 38%
Can’t say 10 19%

_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 43% of respondent’s
husbands had good relations with the other married family
members while 38% had no good relations while 19% can’t say in
this regard.

Table no. 3.34

Table showing the caring experience of Respondent’s in- laws with
Respondents family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Caring Experiences No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 29 53%
No 22 40%
Can’t say 04 07%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data reveals that 53% of respondents had a
good caring experience from the side of the in laws while 40% has
not. Only 7% can’t say in this regard.

Table no. 3.35

Table showing the intervention of Respondent’s In Laws with them
at the time of distress
_____________________________________________________________________
 42

Respondent In laws Intervention No of Respondents Percent

_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 24 43%
No 22 40%
Can’t say 09 17%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
Above recorded data say that in 43% of the respondent cases the in
laws use to intervene at the time of distress while in 40% of cases
no intervention was there. 17% of the respondents can’t say in this
regard.
Table no. 3.36
Table showing the feeling of Respondent about this intervening
behavior
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondent Feeling abt behaviour No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Excellent 18 33%
Improper 26 47%
Highly Unsatisfied 11
20%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that a majority 47% of
the respondents feels that such intervening behavior were improper
while 33% of the respondents feel this as excellent. A 20% of the
respondents are highly unsatisfied in this regard.
MARITAL DISPUTES AND DIVORCE
Table no. 3.37
Table showing the Age of Respondent at the time of divorce
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Age No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
18-25 07 13
26-35 31 57
36-55 12 22
56 & above 05 08
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data reveals that a majority of 57% of
respondent’s were between the age group of 26-35 at the time of
divorce while 22% were between the age group of 36-55 while 13%
were in the age group of 18-25. Only on 8% of the cases the age
group of respondents is above 56 years.

Table no. 3.38

 43

Table showing the medium of Respondents Divorce

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Divorce Medium No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Court order 21 38%
Mutual settlement 34
62%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that in 62% of the
respondent’s cases the divorce took place with the mutual consent
while in 38% of the remaining cases it was by the court order.

Table no. 3.39

Table showing the blame of Respondent for Divorce
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents blame No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Husband 24 44%
Paternal Family member 10
18%
Herself 13 24%
Maternal family member 08
14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
This is a very interesting and alarming aspect that a majority of 44%
of the respondent blame husband for the divorce while in 24% of
cases she blames herself. In rest data 18% of the respondents
blame her paternal family member for divorce while in 14% of the
cases the maternal family members are to be blamed as the reason
of divorce.
Table no. 3.40
Table showing the Reason of Respondents Divorce
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Reason of Divorce No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Marital maladjustment 21 38%
Different family values & culture 17 32%
Educational difference 09 16%
Other 08 14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100
_____________________________________________________________________
This table deals with the reason of divorce according to the
respondent opinion. In 38% of responses marital maladjustment was
the reason of divorce while in 32% of cases the different family
 44

values and culture are to be blamed for the same. In the 16% of
responses the educational difference are the next important reason
while in 14% of the responses the other reasons were answered.

Table no. 3.41

Table showing the satisfaction of Respondents towards decision of
Divorce
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Satisfaction No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 14 26%
No 22 40%
Can’t say 19 34%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 40% of the
respondents are not happy with the decision of divorce while in 34%
of the respondents they can’t say in this regard. 26% of the
respondents had felt satisfaction with her decision of divorce.

Table no. 3.42

Table showing the intervention of other family members
Respondent’s settlement instead of Divorce
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 29 53%
No 17 31%
Can’t say 09 16%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say that in 53% of the cases respondents
face intervention from the hands of the other family members while
in 31% no such intervention was faced a total of 16% of
respondent’s can’t say in this regard.

PRESENT SCHENARIO

Table no. 3.43

Table showing the present residence of Respondent’s
_____________________________________________________________________
 45

Respondents Residence No of Respondents Percent

_____________________________________________________________________
Maternal family 31 56%
Paternal family 03 06%
Independent 21 38%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
A interesting aspect which is revealed in this case is now after
divorce 56% of the respondent live with the maternal family while
38% of the respondents are living separately. Only in 6% of cases
the respondents are residing with the paternal family.

Table no. 3.44

Table showing the number of Children of Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Children No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
No Child 21 38%
One Child 32 58%
More than One 02 04%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 58% of the
respondent has one child from the marriage and 38% of the
respondents have no child. Only in the 4% of the cases the
respondent had more than one child.

Table no. 3.45

Table showing the care of Respondent’s Children
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Children Caring No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Herself 03 06%
Husband 32 58%
Maternal family 06 12%
Paternal family 14 26%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
This table also carries a very important aspect about the care of the
respondent’s child. In 58% of the cases Husband uses to care the
child while in 26% of the cases the paternal family of the respondent
takes care of the child. In 12% of the cases maternal family use to
take care of the child while only in the 6% of the cases respondent
herself take care of the child.

Table no. 3.46

 46

Table showing the Source of Respondents Income

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Source of Income No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Independent 24 43%
Dependent 31 57%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 57% of the
respondent’s are dependent on other for their daily expenses while
in the 43% of the cases the respondent’s had independent earning.

Table no. 3.47

Table showing the Income of Respondents
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Income No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Up to 3 thousand 18 32%
Above 3 thousand 6
11%
None 31 57%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that in majority of 57% of
cases there is no independent income of the respondents while in
32% of the cases the respondent’s earnupto 3 thousand rupees per
month. But in 11% of respondents they earn more than 3 thousand
rupees per month.

DIFFICULTIES FACED BY RESPONDENTS WITH HER

MATERNAL FAMILY AND CHILD

Table no. 3.48

Table showing about the problems faced by Respondents in her
maternal family
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 33 60%
No 12 22%
Can’t say 10 18%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above recorded data say that a majority 60% of the
respondents are facing some problems in her maternal family while
 47

22% of the respondents have no problems. 18% of the respondents

can’t say in this regard.

Table no. 3.49

Table showing the type of problems Respondents face in her
maternal home
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Taunting 18 34%
Avoidance 21 38%
Less participation in family 8 14%
Others 8 14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
This was again the open ended question which was codified grossly
as per the response received. A majority of 38% of the respondents
face the avoidance problem, while the other 34% are subjected to
taunting. Further 14% each of the respondents receives less
participation in family and are facing other problems.

Table no. 3.50

Table showing the origination of marital problems of Respondents
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Marital maladjustment 29 52%
Different family values & culture 18 33%
Educational difference 6 11%
Other 2 04%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
The above view reveals that a majority 52% of the respondents
have the origin of marital adjustment while 33% were due to
different family values and culture which resulted into marital
disputes. On the other hand 11% of the differences were due to the
educational difference and 4% were having other reasons.

Table no. 3.51

 48

Table showing the opinion of Respondents about solving the marital

disputes
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Independent handling of disputes 14 26%
Intervention of family members 24 43%
Giving more love & affection 11 20%
Not possible 06
11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
When asked that what can be done to solve the marital disputes
then a majority 43% of respondents said that intervention of family
members can be helpful while 26% said that they can independently
handle the marital disputes. On the other hand 20% respondents
said that by giving more love and affection to the husband the
problem can be solved while 11% of them were of the opinion that
the settlement of the dispute was not possible.

Table no. 3.52

Table showing the Respondents child activity
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
School going 34 62%
None 21 38%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that 62% of the
respondents children’s are going to school while other 38% are not
doing anything.

Table no. 3.53

Table showing the problem faced by Respondents children
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 30 55%
No 21 38%
Can’t say 04 07%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
From the above recorded data we can say that a majority 55% of
the respondent’s children are facing problems while in 38% of cases
 49

no such problem are faced. 7% of the respondents can’t say

regarding the same.

Table no. 3.54

Table showing whether the child of Respondent feels insecure due
to the marital problems
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 15 28%
No 24 43%
Can’t say 16 29%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
A very important aspect as what is the impact of divorce on
children. A majority of 43% of the respondent’s said that the child
did not feel insecure while in 28% of the cases the child is feeling
insecure due to the respondent’s marital problems. Rest of 29% of
respondent’s can not say anything in this regard.

Table no. 3.55

Table showing what the Respondents children ask from her about
their father
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Why he is not residing together? 29 53%
Where does he live? 17 31%
Other 9 16%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
However it was very difficult to codify the said response as the
children used to ask the various questions from the respondent
about their father the main are codified her. A majority of 53% of
the children’s ask that why the respondent’s are not residing with
their father and the other 31% of them ask that where their father
lives. The 16% of the remaining children’s had other different type
of responses.
 50

Table no. 3.56

Table showing the impact of Divorce on Respondents childrens
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Responce No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 31 56%
No 18 33%
Can’t say 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
This was my main key question of the present research work where I
recorded that majority of 56% of the children’s are facing the
impact of divorce on them whereas 33% children’s are not facing
the impact. Rest 11% of the respondent’s can express their opinion
in this regard.

Table no. 3.57

Table showing the possibility of unite again of Respondent
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 29 54%
No 18 32%
Can’t say 08 14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
When I put up the question about the future and further possibilities
of reunion I recorded that a majority 54% of respondent’s has the
strong and positive opinion about reunion while 32% have not.
Remaining 14% of the respondents can’t say anything in this
regard.
 51

LIST OF GRAPHS

GRAPH- 1
RESPONDENT’S AGE AT THE TIME OF MARRIAGE

From the above recorded data we can say that 40% of respondents
were between the age group of 18-21 at the time of marriage while
29% were 22-25 yrs of age and 18% were between 26-30 yrs of age.
Only 13% of respondent’s were 31 and above at the time of
marriage.

Table no. 1

Table showing the Age of Respondent at the time of Marriage

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Age at marriage No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
18-21 22 40
22-25 16 29
26-30 10 18
31 & above 07 13
 52

_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100
_____________________________________________________________________
GRAPH- 2
FAMILY BACKGROUND OF RESPONDENT

From the above recorded data we can say that 45% of the
respondents came from higher family background whereas 37% are
from middle and rest 18% belongs from lower family background.
Table no. 2

Table showing the description of Respondents family background

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents family background No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Higher 25 45
Middle 20 37
Lower 10 18
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100
 53

_____________________________________________________________________

GRAPH- 3
TYPE OF RESPONDENT FAMILY

Above recorded data say’s that 67% of the respondent belongs from
the nuclear family and rest 33% are from the joint family.

Table no. 3

Table showing the type of Respondents Family

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Responce No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Nuclear 37 67%
Joint 18 33%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
 54

GRAPH- 4
Intervention Of Parents And Relatives Into Respondent Personal
Problem/ In Distress

From the above recorded data we can say that in 55% of cases
generally respondent’s family members intervene into their family
matters while 34% respondent’s said no such intervention and 11%
can’t say in this regard.

Table no. 4

Table showing the intervention of family members into

Respondent’s family affairs
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Family’s Intervention No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Yes 30 55%
No 19 34%
Can’t say 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
 55

Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
GRAPH- 5
TYPE OF RESPONDENT MARRIAGE

The above recorded data say’s that 63% of respondents had

arrange marriage while 37% had love marriage.

Table no. 5
Table showing the Respondent’s type of marriage
_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents marriage type No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Arrange 35 63%
Love 20 37%
_____________________________________________________________________
 56

Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
GRAPH- 6
Whom do respondent blame for her divorce?

This is a very interesting and alarming aspect that a majority of 44%

of the respondent blame husband for the divorce while in 24% of
cases she blames herself. In rest data 18% of the respondents
blame her paternal family member for divorce while in 14% of the
cases the maternal family members are to be blamed as the reason
of divorce.

Table no. 6

Table showing the blame of Respondent for Divorce

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents blame No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
Husband 24 44%
Paternal Family member 10
18%
Herself 13 24%
 57

Maternal family member 08

14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
GRAPH- 7
Did respondent feel that her divorce has created an impact on the
development of her child?

This was my main key question of the present research work where I
recorded that majority of 56% of the children’s are facing the
impact of divorce on them whereas 33% children’s are not facing
the impact. Rest 11% of the respondent’s can express their opinion
in this regard.

Table no. 7

Table showing the impact of Divorce on Respondents childrens

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Responce No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
 58

Yes 31 56%
No 18 33%
Can’t say 06 11%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________
GRAPH- 8
Whether respondent want to reunite again?

When I put up the question about the future and further possibilities
of reunion I recorded that a majority 54% of respondent’s has the
strong and positive opinion about reunion while 32% have not.
Remaining 14% of the respondents can’t say anything in this
regard.

Table no. 8

Table showing the possibility of unite again of Respondent

_____________________________________________________________________
Respondents Response No of Respondents Percent
_____________________________________________________________________
 59

Yes 29 54%
No 18 32%
Can’t say 08 14%
_____________________________________________________________________
Total 55 100%
_____________________________________________________________________

CHAPTER FOUR

MAJOR FINDINGS CONCLUSIONS AND SUGGESSIONS

MAJOR FACT FINDINGS

The study on Divorce Reason And Difficulties Faced By Women For

Child And Her Maternal Family (with special reference to the Family
court, Judicial Courts, Police Stations of Vidarbha of Nagpur)
highlighted and confirmed the hypothesis of the study. To the utter
surprise I am really sorry to say that in the present ongoing 21 st
century such type of blind rituals and traditions are followed.

The table wise all major findings pertaining to the present research
are as follows:

PERSONAL PROFILE OF THE WIFE

1. Area of residence: From the above recorded data we can

say that out of the total respondents the majority of them
67% belongs from the Nagpur urban/ city area whereas
there are only 33% of respondents belonging to the Nagpur
rural area. Hence we can say that the majority of the
respondents are the resident of Nagpur Urban/ City.

2. Age group of respondents: The above recorded data

indicated that the majority of respondents 38% belonging
to the age group of 18-25, the second largest age group is
26 to 35 which are 27%. The respondents from the age
group are 36-55 which are 24% and the smallest amount is
of 11% which comes in the Age group of 56 and above.

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE

3. Family background of the respondents: From the

above recorded data we can say that 45% of the
respondents came from higher family background whereas
37% are from middle and rest 18% belongs from lower
family background.
4. Family values & Culture of respondents: The above
recorded data clearly reveals that a majority 58% of the
 60

family culture of respondent’s are traditional ad only 42%

are of modern background. Hence it can be said that a
majority of respondents belongs from the traditional family
background.

5. Type of Family: Above recorded data say’s that 67% of

the respondent belongs from the nuclear family and rest
33% are from the joint family.

6. Respondents family members: The above recorded

data say’s that in case of 67% of respondents they have 1
to 4 family members, while 22% of respondent have 5 to 8
family members, only 11% of respondents have 8 and
more family members.

7. Occupation of respondent’s father: From the above

recorded data we can say that a majority 49% of
respondent’s fathers occupation was private service while
27% of respondents father were doing some business other
18% were doing Govt job. Only 6% of respondents father
were doing nothing.

8. Occupation of respondent’s moter: From the above

recorded data we can say that a majority 47% of
respondent’s mothers occupation was private service while
27% of respondents mother were doing household work
other 15% were doing Business. Only 11% of respondents
mother were on the Govt service.

9. Remembrance of relationship: A majority 37% of the

respondent’s had remembering the relationship from 11 to
15 yrs, 31% remembers the same from 16 and more age
group while 18% respondents said that they remember the
same from 1-5 yr of their childhood. Only 14 % of the
respondents remember the same from 6-10 year of
childhood years.

10. Relationship with family: The above recorded data say’s

that 47% respondents had a good relationship with her
parents & family while 26% have the same as stained
relationship. Only 27% of respondent can’t say in this
regard.

11. Marital status of other members of respondents

family: From the above recorded data we can say that
57% of respondents other family members excluding
parents are married while 43% of the respondent has
witnessed no such marriage.
 61

12. Relationship with other married family members:

The above recorded say’s that 50% of the respondent had
bad relationship with the other married family members
while 38% has good and 12% can not say about the same.

13. Marital satisfaction of other family members of

respondent: From the above recorded data we can say
that 60% of the respondent’s parents are satisfied with
their marriage while 22% can not say and 18% says that
there is no such satisfactory relationship.

14. Quality of caring received by respondents from her

parents: Above recorded data reveals that 47% of the
respondents had received good caring approach of her
parents while 38% opinions are negative and 15% can’t say
in this regard.

15. Intervention by respondents family members in

problems: From the above recorded data we can say that
in 55% of cases generally respondent’s family members
intervene into their family matters while 34% respondent’s
said no such intervention and 11% can’t say in this regard.

16. Response of respondents in such intervention: The

above recorded data say’s that 67% of respondents feels
such intervening approach of parents as excellent while
18% feel it as improper and only 15% can’t say in this
regard.

MARRIAGE AND RELATED QUESTIONS.

17. Age of respondent’s marriage: From the above

recorded data we can say that 40% of respondents were
between the age group of 18-21 at the time of marriage
while 29% were 22-25 yrs of age and 18% were between
26-30 yrs of age. Only 13% of respondent’s were 31 and
above at the time of marriage.

18. Type of marriage: The above recorded data say’s that

63% of respondents had arrange marriage while 37% had
love marriage.

19. Respondent’s fantasies/ presumptions before

marriage: This question was open ended later on the
basis of responses recorded into objective. 42% of the
respondent say that the husbands are good while 26% of
the respondent had the fantasy that the maternal family
members remain to be more helpful only 8% of
respondents had the presumption that paternal in laws are
 62

cruel. Rest 24% of respondents had no presumption in this

regard.
20. Satisfaction with marriage: From the above recorded
data we can say that a majority of 57% of respondent’s are
satisfied with the marriage while the rest 43& are not
satisfied with the marriage.

21. Occupation of respondent’s husband: A majority of

38% of the respondent’s husbands were doing the private
service at the time of marriage, 31% husbands were doing
some business while 22% were on the Govt job. Only 9% of
the respondents husbands were not doing nothing at the
time of marriage.

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENTS HUSBAND

22. Family background of respondent’s husband: From

the above recorded data we can say that majority 51% of
the respondent’s husband’s were from middle family
background while 38% were from the higher family
background only 11% were belonging from the low family
background.
23. Family values of respondent’s husband: From the
above recorded data we can say that the majority 57% of
the respondent’s have traditional family background while
other 43% has the modern family background.

24. Area of respondent’s husband’s family: From the

above recorded data we can say that 65% of the
respondent’s husbands reside in the urban area while other
35% were from the rural background.

25. Type of family of respondent’s husband: The above

recorded data reveals that 65% of the respondent’s
husband’s family were from the single family and the other
35% were from the joint family.

26. Number of family members in respondent’s

husband’s family: Above recorded data say that 51% of
te respondent’s husbands have 1 to 4 family members in
their family while 27% have 8 and above family members.
Only 22% have 5-8 family members.

27. Occupation of respondent’s husband’s father: From

the above recorded data we can say that 50% of the
respondent’s husbands father were Govt servent while 26%
were doing business and 13% were doing private service.
Only 11% were doing nothing.
 63

28. Occupation of respondent’s husband’s mother: From

the above recorded data we can say that 08% of the
respondent’s husbands mother were doing business while
29% were Govt servent and 10% were doing private
service. A majority 53% were doing household work.

29. Remembrance of relationship of respondent’s

husband: From the above recorded data we can say that
51% of the respondent’s husband remembers are
remembering their relationship from their family from 11-
15 yrs of age, while 22% remember from 16 yrs age and
20% remembers the same from 6-10 yrs. Only 7% of
respondents were remembering the same from 1-5 yrs of
age.
30. Type of relationship of respondent’s husband: The
above recorded data reveals that the 51% of the
respondent had good relationship with her husband and in
laws while 40% respondent said that they had stained
relationship. Only 9% can’t say anything in this regard.

31. Marital status of other members of respondent’s

husband’s family: From the above recorded data we can
say that in 51% of the cases the respondent’s husbands
other relatives except in laws were not married but it has
happened in the 49% of cases.

32. Relationship with other married family members of

respondent’s husband: Above recorded data say that in
47% of cases the husbands relationship with the other
married relationship were bad while in 46% of cases the
relations were good while 7% can’t say in this regard.

33. Type of relationship with other married family

members of respondent’s husband: From the above
recorded data we can say that 43% of respondent’s
husbands had good relations with the other married family
members while 38% had no good relations while 19% can’t
say in this regard.
34. Respondent’s husband’s caring experience: The
above recorded data reveals that 53% of respondents had
a good caring experience from the side of the in laws while
40% has not. Only 7% can’t say in this regard.

35. Intervention of family members at the time of

distress: Above recorded data say that in 43% of the
respondent cases the in laws use to intervene at the time
of distress while in 40% of cases no intervention was there.
17% of the respondents can’t say in this regard.
 64

36. Feeling about such intervening behavior of other

family members by respondent’s husband: From the
above recorded data we can say that a majority 47% of
the respondents feels that such intervening behavior were
improper while 33% of the respondents feel this as
excellent. A 20% of the respondents are highly unsatisfied
in this regard.

MARITAL DISPUTES AND DIVORCE

37. Age at the time of divorce: The above recorded data

reveals that a majority of 57% of respondent’s were
between the age group of 26-35 at the time of divorce
while 22% were between the age group of 36-55 while 13%
were in the age group of 18-25. Only on 8% of the cases
the age group of respondents is above 56 years.

38. Type of Divorce: From the above recorded data we can

say that in 62% of the respondent’s cases the divorce took
place with the mutual consent while in 38% of the
remaining cases it was by the court order.

39. Blame towards Divorce: This is a very interesting and

alarming aspect that a majority of 44% of the respondent
blame husband for the divorce while in 24% of cases she
blames herself. In rest data 18% of the respondents blame
her paternal family member for divorce while in 14% of the
cases the maternal family members are to be blamed as
the reason of divorce.

40. Reason of Divorce: This table deals with the reason of

divorce according to the respondent opinion. In 38% of
responses marital maladjustment was the reason of divorce
while in 32% of cases the different family values and
culture are to be blamed for the same. In the 16% of
responses the educational difference are the next
important reason while in 14% of the responses the other
reasons were answered.
41. View of satisfaction about divorce: From the above
recorded data we can say that 40% of the respondents are
not happy with the decision of divorce while in 34% of the
respondents they can’t say in this regard. 26% of the
respondents had felt satisfaction with her decision of
divorce.
42. Guidance/ understanding by the family members at
the time of Divorce: The above recorded data say that
in 53% of the cases respondents face intervention from the
hands of the other family members while in 31% no such
 65

intervention was faced a total of 16% of respondent’s can’t

say in this regard.

PRESENT SCHENARIO

43. Residence of respondent after divorce: A interesting

aspect which is revealed in this case is now after divorce
56% of the respondent live with the maternal family while
38% of the respondents are living separately. Only in 6% of
cases the respondents are residing with the paternal
family.
44. Number of Children of respondent: From the above
recorded data we can say that 58% of the respondent has
one child from the marriage and 38% of the respondents
have no child. Only in the 4% of the cases the respondent
had more than one child.

45. Who takes care of the respondent’s children: This

table also carries a very important aspect about the care of
the respondent’s child. In 58% of the cases Husband uses
to care the child while in 26% of the cases the paternal
family of the respondent takes care of the child. In 12% of
the cases maternal family use to take care of the child
while only in the 6% of the cases respondent herself take
care of the child.
46. Pattern of earning of respondent: From the above
recorded data we can say that 57% of the respondent’s are
dependent on other for their daily expenses while in the
43% of the cases the respondent’s had independent
earning.

47. Earning of the respondent’s: From the above recorded

data we can say that in majority of 57% of cases there is
no independent income of the respondents while in 32% of
the cases the respondent’s earnupto 3 thousand rupees
per month. But in 11% of respondents they earn more than
3 thousand rupees per month.

DIFFICULTIES FACED BY RESPONDENTS WITH HER

MATERNAL FAMILY AND CHILD

48. Whether respondents are facing some problems in

maternal family: The above recorded data say that a
majority 60% of the respondents are facing some problems
in her maternal family while 22% of the respondents have
 66

no problems. 18% of the respondents can’t say in this

regard.
49. Type of problem faced by the respondent’s in her
maternal family: This was again the open ended question
which was codified grossly as per the response received. A
majority of 38% of the respondents face the avoidance
problem, while the other 34% are subjected to taunting.
Further 14% each of the respondents receives less
participation in family and are facing other problems.

50. Factors responsible behind Divorce: The above view

reveals that a majority 52% of the respondents have the
origin of marital adjustment while 33% were due to
different family values and culture which resulted into
marital disputes. On the other hand 11% of the differences
were due to the educational difference and 4% were having
other reasons.
51. What to be done to reunite after Divorce: When
asked that what can be done to solve the marital disputes
then a majority 43% of respondents said that intervention
of family members can be helpful while 26% said that they
can independently handle the marital disputes. On the
other hand 20% respondents said that by giving more love
and affection to the husband the problem can be solved
while 11% of them were of the opinion that the settlement
of the dispute was not possible.

52. What the respondent’s children’s is doing after

divorce: From the above recorded data we can say that
62% of the respondents children’s are going to school while
other 38% are not doing anything.

53. Whether the respondent’s children’s are facing

some problems: From the above recorded data we can
say that a majority 55% of the respondent’s children are
facing problems while in 38% of cases no such problem are
faced. 7% of the respondents can’t say regarding the
same.
54. Impact of Divorce on Children’s: A very important
aspect as what is the impact of divorce on children. A
majority of 43% of the respondent’s said that the child did
not feel insecure while in 28% of the cases the child is
feeling insecure due to the respondent’s marital problems.
Rest of 29% of respondent’s can not say anything in this
regard.
55. What the respondent’s children ask about their
father: However it was very difficult to codify the said
response as the children used to ask the various questions
from the respondent about their father the main are
 67

codified her. A majority of 53% of the children’s ask that

why the respondent’s are not residing with their father and
the other 31% of them ask that where their father lives.
The 16% of the remaining children’s had other different
type of responses.
56. Impact of Divorce on Children’s: This was my main key
question of the present research work where I recorded
that majority of 56% of the children’s are facing the impact
of divorce on them whereas 33% children’s are not facing
the impact. Rest 11% of the respondent’s can express their
opinion in this regard.

57. Whether reunion is possible?: When I put up the

question about the future and further possibilities of
reunion I recorded that a majority 54% of respondent’s has
the strong and positive opinion about reunion while 32%
have not. Remaining 14% of the respondents can’t say
anything in this regard.

CONCLUSIONS & SUGGESTIONS:

My general conclusions of research when compaired with the theory

and views of major social scientist can be presented as under.

Understanding And Dealing With Children During

Divorce

A great deal of study and thought has been given to knowing more
about the impact of divorce on children. While there is growing
agreement among researchers and practitioners about the effects of
divorce, there is still a lot we don't know. We have not reached a
point that we can be specific about the impact of divorce on a
specific child. What we do know is that the impact will vary with
each child depending the child's age, gender, maturity,
psychological health and whether or not other supportive adults are
able to be a regular part of their lives. However, there are some
generalizations that apply in nearly every situation.

Generalizations & Conclusions:

 68

 Ongoing abuse (e.g. child abuse, domestic violence) that

cannot be stopped is more damaging to children than divorce
itself.
 Divorce can be the right decision and can be handled
responsibly.
 Divorce itself does not have a positive impact on a child's life
and development.
 Girls tend to handle divorce better and have fewer serious
problems than boys.
 Divorce is a failure of a couple's commitment to their marital
and family roles. This includes parental responsibilities to
their children's psychological and emotional development.
Divorce has it's most negative impact when one or both
parents abandon responsibility for their child's social and
emotional development.
 The negative impact of a divorce is not cancelled out by new
conditions or changes that may be positive. Put simply,
divorce is bad for children. Children don't need perfect
parents, they need "good enough" parents.
 At best, a divorce or separation may help prevent abuse
between parents that is a result of living together. The
resulting changes in location, environment and family
structure may have a positive influence (but not necessarily).
This does not mean neglectful, abusive or retaliatory behavior
won't occur.
 Children don't grasp or appreciate how parents can stop
loving each other, separate or divorce. Children lose some
degree of trust in others or themselves. They often fear that
one or both parents may abandon them. They can feel guilty
even when they have nothing to do with the turmoil between
parents. They feel especially guilty when they created conflict
or were the source of conflict between parents.
 Divorce often makes parenting and raising children more
difficult. If there were conflicts or disagreements over
parenting before a divorce, those problems will usually be
worse and not better after the divorce.
 Children raised in conflicted and marginally functional homes
have fewer problems and develop in a manner that is often
superior in many ways to those children whose parents
divorce.
 It is important for children to have good enough parents within
a functional home environment that is free of ongoing abuse.
It is not necessary for a mother and father to be "in love" or
romantically involved to be good parents and to raise healthy
children.
 The responsibilities of parents include providing an
environment that is understanding, reassuring, open, kind,
respectful and firm. Emotions of love and romantic love
 69

between a husband and wife play an important role in a

marriage. That relationship in a marriage is the responsibility
of a husband and a wife to create and maintain. The roles of a
mother and father are different responsibilities than those of
husband and wife.

The Perspective of Children

The perspective and feelings of children are not usually considered

when parents make their decision to divorce. Parents may think
about their children's well-being, but it very rare that parents will
ask directly or "consult' with their children during their discussions
or decisions to divorce. The following are comments from insightful
teenagers who wanted their parents and other children to
understand the importance and impact of a divorce.

Why don't parents ask the kids?

"Because they don't care about their opinion, or it doesn't effect
their progress on working on their problems. Parents can get away
with divorce. Kids can't get away with anything."

Why do parents divorce?

"Because when you give them the ability to divorce they just abuse
it."

Don't parents care?

If the parents say "We want to get a divorce." And the kids say "We
shall be sad." The parents don't say "O.K., we'll stay together."
That never happens. That's what comedians are.

How did your parents divorce make you feel?

"Like I have no effect. Like I'm a bystander. Like they know how I
feel, but they don't care."

How do you feel about your parents?

"My opinion is lower because I thought they would be more mature
and solve their problems. They didn't even ask what it would do to
me."

What do you think parents need to know?

"I just think they deserve to suffer a lot just to know what it's like."

Symptoms And The Impact Of Divorce On Children

 70

During and following a divorce there are a number of issues that

parents will usually face. Sooner or latter, parents, family or friends
should begin to notice the impact of divorce on children. There is no
avoiding it. Children will feel bad. The emotional pain is
distressing. The impact and the child's response will vary according
to their age, gender, maturity, psychological health and whether or
not other supportive adults are able to be a regular part of their
lives. A lot will also depend on how skillfully and compassionately
parents handle or mishandle their interactions with each other and
their children.

When parents make a decision to divorce and children are expected

to cope with the decision. Except in cases involving abuse, it is rare
that children will thrive during a divorce. The impact of divorce is
that children will have problems and experience symptoms. This
may include one or more of the following:

• Impulsive and impatient behavior

• Anger at others
• Oppositional, rebellious, defiant, or conduct problems
• Breaking rules and testing limits
• Destructive behavior
• Anger at self
• Self-blame or guilt
• Self-destructive or self-harming behavior
• Drug or alcohol use
• Apathy or failure to accept responsibility
• Early or increased sexual activity
• Isolation and Withdrawal
• Suicidal thoughts or behavior
• Violent thoughts or behavior
• Superficially positive behavior

Information And Steps Respondents Can Take

 Spend regular time with your children. Maintain a familiar

routine as much as possible. Keep your commitments and the
promises you make to your children.

 Seek immediate advice and consultation from a qualified

mental health professional or crisis intervention specialist if
you suspect any critical symptoms involving alcohol and other
drug abuse, a risk of suicide or a risk of violence.

 Seek advice and consultation from a qualified health care

professional if your children have pre-existing mental,
emotional or psychological problems.
 71

 Seek advice and consultation from a qualified health care

professional if you feel overwhelmed and unable to respond
effectively to the emotional needs of your children. This can
be a tremendous support and can help you deal effectively
with your children and spouse.

 If you can't or don't know how to make things better for your
child, don't make matters worse.

 Do not rely on your children for emotional support. (Take

care of yourself. Spare your children that additional emotional
burden and responsibility.)
 Do not manipulate, pressure or lie in order to make your
children take sides or to support you.
 Do not expose children to your arguments, abusive behavior
or conflicts.
 Do not tell children how they should feel.
 Do not argue or become angry with children if they disagree
with how you believe they should be feeling.

What Divorcing Parents Can Do To Help:

What Parents Should Do

• Tell the child about the divorce:

If they are old enough to understand marriage, tell them about the
divorce. How and what you say depends on the age of the child.

• Engage the child:

Do not withdraw from family role relationships. Be consistent in the

role you played prior to the divorce.

• Find more outside support:

 72

The amount of assistance custodial parents receive to cope with

divorce affects parenting. Research suggests that 30% of divorcing
mothers and fathers experience severe depression. Seek support
from relatives, friends, social agencies, leisure groups and partners.
Be aware that the effects of divorce extend to the areas of support
as well. Friends and family may feel divided by the divorce and offer
less support.

• Improve personal abilities:

Personal improvements coincide with a custodial parent's

ability to cope. Research suggests that parents should
attempt to 1) improve marketable skills (pursue a new
career); 2) adopt non-traditional sex-role attitudes (this helps
parents view the new arrangement as more autonomous); 3)
improve the ability to establish new social relationships; 4)
reach for higher levels of education (this can be a problem
considering the economic situation), 5) increase income
(typically, a divorce means a lower standard of living,
especially for mothers who may return to work from a stay-at-
home role; 6) grow emotionally; 7) recuperate and recover
(there is a relationship between the effect of the trauma and
the custodial parent's ability to recover and adjust to the
divorce. The quicker the recovery for the parents, the more
likely a healthy recovery for the child.

• Redefinition of parental roles:

The child might have to realize new expectations about which

parent will be doing what. Who will be cooking the meals and when?
Which parent will pick up the child after soccer practice? These
issues must be considered by both parents before discussing them
with the child. The divorce may also effect the role of disciplinarian.
Who will make decisions and how will they be implemented? Be
aware that as a result of divorce, many parents make fewer
maturity demands on their children and communicate less. It is
important to demand the same positive behavior as before the
divorce. Offering limited control over the child can have detrimental
effects on their behavior.

• Possible adjustments within the peer groups:

Children might be ashamed of the divorce and fear rejection by their

peers. How will your child tell her friends? How will this affect her
group of friends? Might the child have to move and create new
friends? The parent can assist the child in making this transition.
 73

• Trauma upon recognition of parents' failures in

marriage:

The parents will not feel as though they are the only ones that did
not make the marriage work. Remember, a divorce breaks up the
family, not just the couple. It is imperative that the parents
recognize the profound effect on the children and keep lines of
communication open.

• Adjustment upon parents remarrying:

If either or both parents decide to remarry, consider, and be

prepared for, the potential effect on the child.

What Parents Should Avoid

• Conflict:

Children perceive post-divorce conflict as continued divisiveness,

thus extending the divorce trauma.

• Greater inconsistency in parenting:

After a divorce, parents tend to have different expectations from the

child than they had before the divorce. Additionally, the parents'
own emotions and desire to not further harm the child may affect
how they parent. For the sake of the child, the parents need to
present a consistent environment that reflects an effective
parenting style.

• Less supportive behavior toward the child:

 74

Post-divorce, the child likely needs more emotional support than

ever before. It is also a time when parents often become less
available. Parents need to make a conscious effort to support the
child's needs.

• Using the child as a weapon against the other parent:

Unfortunately, parents are often caught up in their own emotional

battle with each other. Parents filled with anger have a tendency to
do whatever it takes to put the other parent at a disadvantage. This
may include saying inappropriate things to the child and threatening
the other parent's rights and desires with their ability to see the
child. This places the child in an unfortunate position and may cause
great emotional distress.

• Parental alienation:

Sometimes one parent tries to diminish the role of the other parent
by belittling that parent to the child. Whether for psychological or
custody reasons, the parent will behave in a way so that the child
will resist a continued relationship with the other parent. This can
have serious detrimental effects on the child.

VERIFICATION OF THE HYPOTHESIS

In all the researcher has framed 5 Hypothesis which came to be
proved. The Hypothesis is again reproduced here for the reference:

1. Divorce is the main family problem which is increasing

day by day to which the primary factor is marital and
psychological misunderstanding and the other factors
are economic (dowry demand, expectations etc.), social,
interference by relatives etc.

2. Divorce has a very bad psychological effect on the

women and even after the repeated efforts the trauma
and stigma of divorce is not wiped/ clean of.

3. The maternal family of divorcee women always uses to

insult women and use to pass bad comments resulting
mostly into the maternal maladjustment, psychological
and emotional breakdown.

4. The children’s of the divorcee women had an incomplete

psychological growth and the lack of their father use to
create an emotional lacuna, resulting into the
development of interest to understand the man-women
relationship.
 75

5. Overall speaking divorce is a curse on the life of mostly

women which finally breaks down her resulting into the
maladjustment with the maternal family members,
relatives and incomplete growth of children and the
increased economic dependency.

APPENDIX- I

INTERVIEW SCHEDULE

INDIVIDUAL RESEARCH PROJECT

PURUSHOTTAM THOTE COLLEGE OF SOCIAL WORK

NANDANWAN, NAGPUR

TOPIC:
DIVORCE REASON AND DIFFICULTIES FACED BY WOMEN FOR
CHILD AND HER MATERNAL FAMILY.
(With special reference to the Family court, Judicial Courts,
Police Stations of Vidarbha of Nagpur)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

PERSONAL PROFILE OF THE WIFE

1. Address of the Respondents residence (a. Nagpur Urban, b.
Nagpur Rural).
2. Age of the Respondent (a. 18-25, b. 26-35, c. 36-55, d. 56
& above )

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENT WIFE

3. Which of the following would best describe your family
background? (a. Higher, b. Middle, c. Lower,)
 76

4. What were the family values/ culture of your family? (a.

Traditional, b. Modern)
5. What is the type of your family? (a. Nuclear, b. Joint)
6. How many family members do you have? (a. 1-4, b. 5-8, c.
8 & above )
7. What is the occupation of your Father? (A. Private Service,
b. Govt. Servant, c. Business, d. None )
8. What is the occupation of your mother? (a. Private service ,
b. Govt. Servant, c. Business, d. Housewife)

9. Since from childhood from how many years you can

remember the relationship of you with your family. (a. 1-5 ,
b. 6-10, c. 11-15, d. 16 & above )

10. How is the relation of your father and mother? (a. Good, b.
Stained c. Can’t Say )

11. Is there is anyone married except your father and mother.

(A. Yes, b. No)
12. If yes, what is the relationship of yours with him/ her? (a.
Good, b. bad, c. cant say)
13. Either your parents are fully satisfied with their marriage.
(A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)

14. Do your father, mother & other members of your family

take the best care of you possible? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t
say)

15. Do they ever intervene into your personal problem/ when

you are in distress? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)

16. How do you feel about this behavior of your family? (a.
Excellent, b. Improper, c. Highly Unsatisfied)
 77

MARRIAGE AND RELATED QUESTION.

17. What was your age at the time of marriage? (a. 18-21,
b.22-25, c. 26-30, d. 31 & above )

18. What was the type of your marriage.(a. Arrange, b. Love)

19. What were your previous fantasies about your marriage?
20. Do you were personally happy with your marriage. (A. Yes,
b. No)
21. What your husband was doing at the time of marriage. (A.
Private Service, b. Govt. Servant, c. Business, d. None )

FAMILY BACKGROUND OF THE RESPONDENTS HUSBAND

22. Which of the following would best describe your husband’s
family background? (a. Higher, b. Middle, c. Lower, )
23. What were the family values/ culture of your husband’s
family? (a. Traditional, b. Modern)
24. From which area does your husbands family belongs from. .
(a. Urban, b. Rural, c. Urban slums)
25. What was the type of your husband’s family? (a. single, b.
joint)
26. How many family members do your husbands have? (a. 1-
4, b. 5-8, c. 8 & above )
27. What is the occupation of your husbands Father? (A.
Private Service, b. Govt. Servant, c. Business, d. None )

28. What is the occupation of your husband’s mother/ mother

in law? (a. Private service , b. Govt. Servant, c. Business, d.
Housewife )
 78

29. Since from how many years you can know the relationship
of your husband with your his family. (a. 1-5 , b. 6-10, c.
11-15, d. 16 & above )
30. How is the relation of your in laws (husband’s father and
mother) with you and your husband? (a. Good, b. Stained c.
Can’t Say )

31. Is there is anyone married except your husbands father

and mother. (A. Yes, b. No)

32. If yes, what is the relationship of your husbands with him/

her? (a. Good, b. Bad, c Can’t say)
33. Either they are fully satisfied with his marriage. (A. Yes, b.
No, c. Can’t say)

34. Do the other members of your husband’s family take the

best care of you possible? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
35. Do they ever intervene into your personal problem/ when
you are in distress? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
36. How do you feel about this behavior of your husband’s
family? (a. Excellent, b. Improper, c. Highly Unsatisfied)

MARITAL DISPUTES AND DIVORCE

37. What was your age when the divorce took place? (a. 18-25,
b. 26-35, c. 36-55, d. 56 & above )

38. what was the medium of your divorce,(a. court order, b.

Mutual settlement )
39. Whom do you blame for your divorce? (a. Husband, b.
Paternal Family member, c. Herself, d. Maternal family
member )
 79

40. What in your opinion will be the appropriate reason of

divorce? (a. Marital maladjustment, b. Different family
values & culture, c. Educational difference, d. other)
41. Do you fell happy and relieved as the divorce took place?
(A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
42. Did any one from your and / or your husband’s family
intervene and tried to give you the understanding before
divorce. (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
PRESENT SCHENARIO
43. With whom are you now residing with? (a. Maternal family,
b. paternal family, c. Independent)
44. Do you have any child & how many.
45. Who is taking care of them? (a. Herself, b. Husband, c.
Maternal family, d. Paternal family)
46. What is the source of your income? (a. Independent, b.
Dependent)
47. how much do you earn.(a. Up to 3 thousand, b. Above 3
thousand, c. none)

DIFFICULTIES FACED BY RESPONDENTS WITH HER

MATERNAL FAMILY AND CHILD
48. Do you feel that you are facing some problems in your
maternal family? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
49. What are they?
50. How did they originate. (a. Marital maladjustment, b.
Different family values & culture, c. Educational difference,
d. other)
51. What in your opinion can be done to solve the same? (a.
Independent handling of disputes, b. Intervention of family
members, c. giving more love & affection, d. not possible)
52. What is your child doing? (a. School going, b. none)
53. Either do you feel that your child is facing any problem? (A.
Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
 80

54. Did your child feel insecure due to your broken

relationship? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
55. What did your child ask from you about his father?
56. Did you feel that your divorce has created an impact on the
development of your child? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)
57. Do you want to reunite again? (A. Yes, b. No, c. Can’t say)

***

APPENDIX- II

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Internet Websites

• DivorceBusting.com
• MentorResearchInstitute.com
• Community_indlaw_com
• TheChildAdvocate.com
• www.aacap.org/violence/guide.htm.

Indian Law Bare Acts

 Hindu Marriage Act

 Law of Adoption
 Indian Christian Marriage Act
 Law of Succession
 Muslim Marriage Law
 Special Marriage Act
 Wills
 Code of Criminal Procedure

Reference Books:
 81

1. Child Psychology, 2004 Edition, Author: Dr. Vatsyayan,

Publishers: Kedar Nath Ram Nath, Delhi.

2. Developmental Psychology, 2005 Edition, Author: Dr.

Vatsyayan, Publishers: Kedar Nath Ram Nath, Delhi.

3. Indian Social Problem, 2003 Reprint Edition, Author: Dr. B G

Memoria, Publication: Starprint Publications, Lucknow.

4. Gorey, K. and Donald Leslie. (1997). “The prevalence of

child sexual abuse: Integrative review adjustment for
potential response and measurement biases.” Child Abuse
and Neglect. Vol. 21(4): 391-398.

5. Heger, A., Ticson, L., Velasquez, O., and Bernier, R. (2002).

“Children referred for possible sexual abuse: medical
findings in 2384 children.” Child Abuse and Neglect. Vol.
26: 645-659.
6. Putnam, Frank W. (2003) “Ten year research update
review: child sexual abuse.” J. Am. Acad. Child Adolesc.
Psychiatry. Vol. 42(3): 269-278.
7. “Practice Parameters for the forensic evaluation of children
and adolescents who may have been physically or sexually
abused.” AACAP Partial text.

8. “Guidelines for: The clinical evaluation of child and

adolescent sexual abuse.” (2001).
www.aacap.org/violence/guide.htm.

9. Hetherington EM. Furstenberg FF. Sounding the Alarm.

Readings: A Journal of Review and Commentary in Mental
Health. 6: 4-8, 1989.

10. Furstenberg FF. Morgan SP. Allison PD. Paternal

Participation and Children’s Well-Being After Marital
Dissolution. American Sociological Review. 52: 695-701,
1987.

11. Wallerstein, JS. Corbin SB. The Child and the Vicissitudes of
Divorce.

12. Wallerstein, JS. Children After Divorce: Wounds That Don’t

Heal. The Psychiatric Times: Medicine and Behavior. 8: 8-
11, 1989.
82

****