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SEX EDUCATION
Christine Ssuubi Mukiibi
Is there a need to educate children about sex? If so, when and how?
We caught up with Christine and she shared her thoughts.
1.When you hear about sex education for children, what comes to your mind?
What comes to my mind is that sex is a very important topic to discuss with children
but be extremely careful that you are giving the right information for the right age
and in the right way. I ask questions like: Who is educating; the teacher or the
parent? When are they educating? Why are they educating?
2. In your childhood, did you receive any sex education?
Yes, l did. l received sex education from my mother, from church—Mothers Union
mainly, who did a great job in educating us, most of the time indirectly. It wasn’t a
curriculum but as we interacted with each other, they passed on to us what we
needed to know. Music, especially the secular music, also educated me because I
always listened to the lyrics. l was also educated through the books l was reading
(some that l shouldn’t have read) and the movies I watched. So, sex education was
always happening, planned or just through entertainment.
3. Do you think children should be given sex education?
Absolutely! And it is happening everyday and all around us. The media is educating;
whether the intention is to educate, or to entertain, or to make money, some kind
of informal sex education is happening through TV, the movies, cartoons, music,
social media, bill boards etc. As a Christian I know that some of this education is not
good or age appropriate and so if I keep silent and do not offer the proper
education, the children will stick to what they have received from the world. As a
parent therefore, I need to be deliberate about providing the proper sex education
to my children.
Christine teaching at a children’s camp
4. In your opinion what is the appropriate age to introduce sex education to a
child?
Right from the womb. Sex education should not start, for example, if it is a girl, after
her body starts to change or, if it is a boy, when his voice starts breaking. No. If we
do so, we’ll lose the child or we won’t be as effective. Children learn from hearing,
observing and practicing. Even if they may not be able to express themselves or
talk, be sure learning is taking place. Start educating immediately what is
appropriate for the age keeping in mind that sex education involves more than the
topic of sex.
A child should be introduced to God early. After the child is born, start reading the
scripture with them so they get to know about the ten commandments, about
loving one another, about using their body as an instrument of worship to God; they
learn scriptures like the one that tells the boys to treat girls as sisters, they learn
about purity, etc. Start with the heart because behaviour is fruit of what is in the
heart.
If a child accepts Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and savior, they will, for
example, listen to music and be able to judge whether it is educating them in the
right way or not. And if it is the wrong kind of education, they will shun it.
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learn to control your
own body in a way that
is holy and honourable”
1 Thessalonians 4:4
September 2018, Issue 77
In many homes, it’s never even called “sex education”. Information and knowledge
are passed on as life goes on. A child should however be able to come home and say
things like, “I don’t like the topic my friends at school are talking about.”
It is difficult to point to a particular age as the right age to provide sex education to a
child but regardless of the child’s age and regardless of the rules set by the
parents—like don’t allow to be touched inappropriately—sex education will be more
effective if the child’s decision making is led by the Holy Spirit.
5. Who should be providing this education to a child?
The parents should come first because they are the ones who care most for the
child. And it is our responsibility as parents to do so. As a parent, I should not wait
for the teacher or the church to educate my child on matters of sex though I really
appreciate the church and the schools because they reinforce our messages to the
children. As parents we talk a lot and our talking sometimes is perceived as being
monotonous. You call your child to speak to them and they already know what you
are going to say. But if they hear other voices—their pastor and teacher—saying the
same thing, then the parent’s message is reinforced.
“
Start with the heart
That said, we should be careful who is educating because not all teachers, not all
pastors, will educate well. So, it goes back to the parents: In what environment of
influence have you placed your child? As a parent, what values do you have? I have
heard one school teach that it’s a child’s right to be gay. Such a teaching contradicts
my values as a parent. Choose wisely who influences the children at home, school,
church and in the community.
6. As a parent what would you recommend as the best way to provide sex
education to children?
Modelling. The way I live my life is the biggest teacher. I may say all the words in the
world but if I am behaving contrary to what I am saying, the children will follow my
behavior and not my words.
Also, if we start with teaching God’s word, God’s law to our children, we reduce on
the teaching workload. Most of the errors in teaching or modelling the right sex
education come out of our sinful nature which only God’s word can help us keep
under control.
Galatians 5:14 says, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your
neighbor as yourself.’” Teaching children (and even adults) to obey this one
commandment does a lot in providing the proper sex education. Because, as we
love everyone else as ourselves, there are certain things we won’t do to hurt or
violate others.
Imagine teaching your child from childhood that their body is a temple of the Holy
Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). By just teaching that, there will be certain things you
won’t have to talk about in sex education because the child will want to keep God’s
temple—their body—pure.
When we start with behavior, it is more difficult. But when we deal with the heart,
then the behavior reflects what is in the heart. And our teaching also should be led
by the Holy Spirit. “So I say, live by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of
the sinful nature.” Galatians 5:16.
Christine is married to Steven Nkumbi Mukiibi. Together, they have been married
for 19 years.
She is a mother of three.
She loves business and enjoys teaching.
The KEY RING is a monthly publication by the Kampala Baptist Church Media Team
that seeks to provide an avenue where men and women can share knowledge and
understanding of the word of God, experiences and encourage one another as the
older perform the act of ‘paralambano’ to the younger.
Our prayer is that the Lord will speak to you through this publication.