Connected, Crabby

& Caffeinated
Australia’s premier lifestyle magazine for tech obsessed,
minimalist, irritable caffeine aficionados

One woman, two addictions,

In this issue
and far too many tech devices

Bad moods and rude ‘tudes

- welcome to the age of rage

Plus much more!


Connected
One woman, two addictions,
and far too many tech devices
A modern day tale of transformation, tension and terror
Hello, my name is Sarah, and I am a
technology addict...
As a child of the late 80’s, I grew up constantly
surrounded by emerging technologies and
cannot remember a time within my life in which
technology did not play an active part. From
the summer afternoons of my childhood spent
playing endless hours of Playstation 1 and 2 titles
such as Croc, Crash Bandicoot and Spyro, to
my first Nokia mobile phone at 15 years old; my
memories at every age are irrevocably linked to
the technologies of the time.
My addiction started with my first full-time job, an
I.T internship within a large tech company. Within
this role I worked like a fiend, 12 hour long stints
in front of my screen to prove my worthiness
of the fantastic opportunity I had been given.
2 3
As a reward I was given a promotion, a laptop,
a mobile phone to check my emails on-the-go
and a 3g dongle to power my connectivity, all
the tools a budding tech addict could ever want.
Before I knew it, the first thing I did when I woke
up was to check my work emails, and the last
thing I did at night was to answer client tickets -
the line between home and work disappeared.
Understandably, going on to marry an I.T Engineer
didn’t help my little problem at all, but rather
compounded it into something far worse. The
amount that my husband uses technology is
equally as excessive as my own usage, as is the
amount of technological gizmos and gadgets
all purchased under the guise of ‘testing new
technologies’, all of which go on to become
permanent residents of our home. Robot vaccum
cleaners, Google Home devices, smartwatches,
tablets, consoles galore, you name it, we have it.
“As I grew older a very
dangerous shift in my tech
usage patterns occurred”
This influx of tech that has invaded my home has
dramatically transformed my life by encouraging
me to interact with tech more than ever - it
has become so accessible and easy that even
everyday tasks such as showering and going for
a jog are now powered by the tech of the Google
Home, and Fitbit, respectively. Sleep is often my
one sweet reprieve from constant connection,
however due to looming uni deadlines and the
accompanying hours of procrastination, I’m now
seeing less of this old friend than ever.
“Imagine loving tech so
much that you gave your
Gizmo and Gadget - the cheeky fur-kids of
kids tech themed names? some seriously tech addicted parents
My husband and I did!”
Between uni studies, managing my household As soon as I sit down to engage with a piece of
and living in the tech version of Old McDonald’s tech (the main culprits are my PC, tablet and
Farm, I predicted that my tech usage was going phone) I experience the compulsive urge to go
to be fairly high, but I had no idea just how bad to and either grab or prepare a something with
it really was. Tracking my tech usage for a week caffeine in it - I just can’t help myself! Without
has left me horrified, amazed by my engagement consuming caffeine whilst using tech I find myself
with technology. One of the most alarming becoming unfocused, irritable and bored. But
things I’ve noticed about my tech usage is a side in a world where tech is such a necessity and
effect that it has caused, a fully fledged, second constant pressure to be focused and engaged is
addiction, which is that of caffeinated beverages. consistently applied, what’s a girl to do? ◊ SM
The shocking results - daily & weekly comparisons of time spent connected vs disconnected
24
20
16
12
8
4
0
M T W T F S S
Connected Disconnected

Connected
Listening to the tick tock of
the time-thieving tech clock
A womans desperate struggle to locate 138 missing hours
Like sands through the hourglass, so
are my days using tech...
When I’m using tech, the strangest thing happens.
Much like Matthew Mcconaughey’s journey within
the film Interstellar, I seem to be transported to an
area of the universe where the normal rules and
conventions of time cease to exist. At least this
is my reasoning to explain how I sit down with
a piece of tech, seemingly no time passes, and
then when I look up again 8 hours have passed
and a household of cranky creatures are woofing,
beeping and whining at me to prepare dinner.
There are 168 hours in a week and I spent 138
of them connected to tech of some sort. 138
hours. How did this happen? How could this be?
How had I used up so many hours and more
importantly, what was I actually doing?
4 5
The shocking results - what a weeks worth of connected time was actually spent doing
Study Entertainment
12% Blantant
68%
Time Wasting
7%
Other
2%
Research
Banking
8% 3%
“As we indulged in yet
another stolen moment
together, I knew this affair
couldn’t last forever”
No one would be more shocked than I at the
realisation that I had spent 68% of my tech
time studying, I thought far more of the time
would have been spent indulging in blatant time
wasting or entertainment. Especially when I’m
performing tech free tasks such as cooking or
walking my fur-kids I still figure out a way to fit in
some sneaky tech time, with our secret liaisons
more often than not being facilitated by way
of my smartphone - the ideal medium for cat
videos, TenPlay and YouTube comedy channels.
Other
8%
“I count the moments,
the seconds, until we are
Pc Phone together again”
33% 59%
59% of my tech usage was conducted through
my smartphone, which is used more like a tablet
really, with memory cards added up the wazoo.
This figure helps me to better understand the
overwhelming grief I feel when my smartphone
battery runs out; akin to the feeling experienced
when someone eats the piece of cake you were
looking forward to after a long day. 138 hours
might seem excessive, but can you ever really My love, my joy, my light, my world. My phone,
Weekly tech time by main device types spend too much time amongst friends? ◊ SM ready for sleep after a busy day
Sarah’s Incredible Tech Trek Tech in Transit
2.5
An amazing view of the weeks tech hours across locations

1
2.5
3
Parents House 1.5
98.5
Vet
Shopping Centre

1.5
Home

5.5 Picnic Location

Husbands Workplace

Number of Apps/
Programs used in location Design Workshop
12

1-4

5-10
Sydney CBD
10+

6 7

Crabby
Bad moods and rude ‘tudes
- welcome to the age of rage
How tech use has turned me into an ill-tempered monster
I had always been a shy and meek
person, until one fateful day...
I’m fairly certain that I can pinpoint the exact
moment in time that technology first turned me
into an angry, rage-driven lunatic. As I recall, it
was a beautiful summers’ day, and what better
place for an 8 year old girl to be than safely
indoors, enjoying her Christmas gift, a Playstation
1 console with an assortment of games. Having
already conquered Croc: Legend of the Gobbos, it
was time to move onto bigger and better things.
In a totally random decision, the next game
I picked up was Rayman, placing it into the
console completely unaware of the catastrophic
consequences that would result from this
seemingly harmless action. The first 45 minutes
or so were fairly uneventful, a few deaths, but
8 9
nothing too dramatic. I finished the Anguish
Lagoon level and proceeded onto Bongo Hills,
a land which promised exciting musical themed
adventures - and thats when it happened.
“Without warning, all Hell
suddenly broke loose”
Tech Hours
The level of difficulty involved in the Bongo
Hills area was completely ridiculous. In order to
proceed through this area, the player needed
to maneuver Rayman past a series of huge,
angry looking flutes that were wielding wooden
percussion mallets and shooting lightning bolts
out of their eyes. As I tried to get past this area
for the 3rd hour in a row, something within my
8 year old brain just snapped, and I hurled the
Playstation controller into my bedroom mirror.
“I was completely blinded A week’s worth of the moods I experienced
whilst engaging with technology
by utter, pure anger, the
likes of which I had never
before experienced”
Neutral
13%
This event is a pretty accurate reflection of the
way I mostly feel when using technology these
days - just that overwhelming mix of frustration
and feeling like I want to strangle someone or Tired
chuck something into a mirror/out of a window. 15% Angry
Whether it’s due to a program or device not 44%
working the way I want/expect it to, or having
to deal with other people as a result of my tech
connectedness, tech definitely has an undeniable Happy
ability to bring out the worst in me. 8%
“My mood instantly shifts Stressed
from mellow to psycho - I 20%
just can’t control it!”
For someone who is surrounded by and engages Lavender oil, eucalyptus oil, incense, mindfulness
with tech as much as I do this is obviously a really posters, 27 mediation apps; I keep an army of
dangerous thing, and I have noticed that it has weapons nearby to try and dispel my tech related
started to transform not only the way in which rage, but nothing seems to work. Tech frustrates
I interact with others, but also my attitudes and me like nothing else in my life, but is so deeply
personality itself. To some degree I have always ingrained in my everyday life and practices that
considered myself to be a person who can I just can’t stay away; its the ultimate unhealthy
compartmentalise emotions pretty well, but I now relationship. I often wonder if I’m just a naturally
find that bad moods and rage associated with hostile person, or whether I really can blame tech
my tech usage is being held on to and goes on to for making me this way? What sort of person
negatively impact my non-tech activities. would I be if I lived a tech-less life? ◊ SM
The shocking results - daily hours of tech use VS average daily levels of anger experienced
24
10
Rage Levels
0 0
M T W T F S S

Caffeinated
7 days & caffeine in 20 ways
The versatile helper guaranteed to boost your productivity
For me, true love struck in the most
unexpected of places...
Strangely enough, I have never been a fan of
coffee. Growing up, both of my parents and my
grandmother were avid tea and coffee drinkers,
and despite their best efforts to get me to try
these beverages, I wasn’t interested. I would sit
bemused, watching my mother drink her fourth
cup of tea on a 42 degree celsius day in rural
NSW and wonder how she didn’t spontaneously
burst into flame.
My first experience with energy drinks came
about one afternoon when entering the cafeteria
within my workplace in order to grab a late
lunch. Browsing the menu options and eventually
settling on something pale, lumpy and potato-like,
I walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of milk
to accompany my meal, unaware that my life was
about to change irrevocably in a single moment.
10
“We locked eyes through A week’s worth of caffeine consumption by
pre-packaged beverage type
the cafeteria fridge door -
it was love at first sight”
I waited until I got back to my desk for our torrid
affair to begin, and I think this is potentially why I
V
always associate caffeine consumption with tech
usage - to me they are just the ultimate pair, like
salt and pepper, Batman & Robin, tomato sauce
35%
and the fridge : note - it is a condiment, if it has
been opened, the fridge is, and eternally will
be, the correct place to store the tomato sauce.
Some things just belong together.
Mother
“My lips tingled and body 28%
shivered, for the first time
that morning, I felt alive” Reize
18%
Sitting down to use any piece of tech, it comes Red Bull
as second nature to grab a caffeinated beverage
to accompany my work. It gives me more focus, 13%
seems to make my work more enjoyable, and
makes me feel more productive. Monitoring my
caffeine consumption for the week, it came as
Monster
no shock to see that the majority of caffeine was
6%
consumed whilst using tech; I just don’t feel the
same urge to drink it when engaging in non tech
activities - the craving magically disappears.
The shocking results - weekly total of
caffeinated beverage consumption
connected VS disconnected
20
The kitchen staff had just finished refilling the
fridge and below the milk, where the coconut
water used to sit (good riddance, you disgusting
trash-drink) sat a new beverage that claimed
pride of place at eye level : note, I am 154cm tall, Connected
so my eye level is a bit lower than everyone else’s. Caffeine
15
“Slick and dangerous, he
was the ultimate bad boy”
10
The newcomer was coloured a gleaming red,
black and silver, with a tall, elegant figure
and a confident posture. His eyes spoke of
secrets untold, and as our gaze locked, I heard
him beckon to me in a silky, sensuous voice;
5
“Sarahhhhhh, oh Sarahhhh. Why not? Our time
together could be so good”. He was just too Disconnected
tempting and cranky from hunger, my impulse Caffeine
control just wasn’t at 100% as I took him from the
fridge and to the counter for payment. 0
11
12pm
8pm
4pm
12pm
8am
4am
M T W T
The shocking results - a weeks worth of connected caffeine beverage numbers by day and
time, also comparing daily caffeine intake amounts; not all beverages are made equal...
I had long had an inkling that my caffeine
consumption habits were strongly linked to not
only to my tech usage but also to particular
times of the day, with tracking revealing that
over half of my overall weekly connected caffeine
consumption takes place in the period between
8am - 11.30am. This also seems to be the time
of day when my brain is functioning at optimal
capacity, productivity is high, bad moods are low,
and the world is rosy and full of opportunity; that
is, until the buzz wears off in the early evening
and a top up dose is often needed for survival.
“You know, I’m something
of a scientist myself”
My favourite thing about caffeine is the plethora
of delivery methods that are available - its such a
wonderfully diverse substance that it is just crying
out to be experimented with. Over the 7 days
in which I monitored my caffeine usage for this
article, I challenged myself to consume caffeine in
20 different ways, the results of which are written
on the opposite page, with the most tasty and
satisfying options at the top and the least tasty
and lower rated options at the bottom.
12
500
Mother | Red Bull
Iced tea | Hot Tea | Over Ice
MGS of caffeine consumed
Milkshake | Reize
With pineapple juice
F S S
0 Mocktail
On fruit |
Mixed with milk
One of the most important things to remember
about caffeine (and also one of the most
confusing things!), is the fact that all forms of the
substance aren’t made equal, and that all mixtures
Smoothie | Ice Cream
Protein Shake | Iced Chocolate
will contain caffeine in different quantities and
potencies, altering the taste and the effects.
“Paralysed with fear, I
Monster | V
wished for nothing more
than the light of morning”
A classic example of this is an unfortunate
experience I had in the past involving the product
With lemonade | With vodka
Reize, a powdered form of caffeine, which is
concentrated. Not understanding this, I drank
what I thought was the daily dose (but was
actually twice the daily max recommended dose!!)
and spent 48 hours straight awake, experiencing
Orange juice slushie
flashes in my peripheral vision, convinced that
both my back molars were loose and hearing the
voice of someone named Tony who spent all night
asking me where I had moored his fishing boat.
I know that I should aspire to a healthier lifestyle
and perhaps after uni is done I will try, question is;
will I be able to stay awake long enough? ◊ SM Caffeine 20 ways in 7 days - most tasty (top), to least tasty (bottom)
13
 Caffeine | A world of delight
Australia is ranked 42nd
in the world for caffeine
consumption

Author Sarah Micallef presents some amazing stats about

In 2017, Australians spent
the exciting phenomenon that is caffeine consumption approx. $1.9 billion on
caffeinated products Three in four Australians consume at least
one caffeinated beverage per day
Statistics sourced from Mccrindle Market Research (2017)

72% of Australian caffeine

drinkers have their first cup By comparison, in the last 30 days...
within an hour of waking up
I consumed an average
of 4.7 caffeinated
In 2017, the average Australian beverages per day
caffeine drinker consumed 1.7
caffeinated beverages per day, &
an average of 96mg of caffeine
Equalling 5910 mgs of caffeine
Which converts to 4500kjs and is the calorie
equivalent of...
56% of Australians say Energy drinks are the
that they feel happier after preferred beverage of 32% of
consuming caffeine Australian caffeine drinkers One Domino’s
Margherita Pizza
with Deep Pan Crust

14 15
Connected, Crabby
& Caffeinated
Proudly brought to you by:

42 tech-connected hours

3 assessment related meltdowns

16 tasty caffeinated beverages