Lovell 1

Kristin Lovell

Dr. Lane

English 102-30

Paper #5

17 Apr. 2007

Gay Marriages: An Unholy Matrimony?

With the familiar words, “‘In sickness and in health, ‘til death do us part’ millions

of people each year are married, a public affirmation of a private bond that both society and

the newlyweds hope will endure” (Stoddard 29). Yet, many men and women who choose to

involve themselves in same-sex marriages and get denied every year when trying to pledge

their lifelong devotions to one another. States such as Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont,

New Jersey, California, Maine, and Hawaii already allow the marriage or “civil union” of the

same sex. And as the years progress and opinions are changed, an increasing number of

states will and should be allowing the marriage between two individuals of the same sex.

Although many Americans have become more accepting toward homosexuality over the past

few decades, it is still an extremely controversial issue in the United States. The struggle for

gay and lesbian rights in the United States is multifaceted issue based on not only the feelings

of the couple and society, but also on religious beliefs, and politics.

Homosexuality is a common practice in this century creating many controversial

feelings from both the society and also the homosexuals themselves. When it comes to

supporting the gay community, many people are torn between their traditional beliefs from

older generations and their own personal beliefs. Williams believes that, “Most people in the

contemporary United States believe that each person has the right to control his or her own
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body, even if that person chooses something unnatural with it” (Williams xxii). Several

individuals who are in their late teens and early twenties are more supportive of same-sex

marriages in opposition to the older generation and their views. The younger age group tends

to be more liberal towards their views on same-sex marriages because it is commonplace in

this time period. In contrast to earlier times, when if you found out someone was

homosexual, those people were shunned from society or homosexuals just denied their

feelings in fear of being ostracized. Education is also a key factor in people’s different

feelings on gay marriages. A recent survey showed that, “Americans with college degrees

are divided almost evenly over the issue of gay marriage (49% oppose, 44% favor) while

those without oppose the idea by well over two-to-one (63% to 27%)” (Doherty 2). Another

issue that may cause a person to be more liberal with the idea of gay marriages and change

someone’s feelings is their location and where they were brought up. More people are in

opposition of the homosexuality in the southern part of the country. A person who was

raised in the country is more likely to disagree with same-sex marriages than someone who

was raised in a city atmosphere where it is more common to see a homosexual couple.

Personal contact with homosexuality also shapes people’s views on this issue. Feelings can

instantly change about homosexuality when a friend, colleague or family member who is

gay. Being around or knowing someone that is homosexual also tends to lead a person to

favor same-sex marriages other than those who are not around someone who is gay. Feelings

are also very different towards the question if a person was born gay or became gay. A

recent poll said that, “overall most people (55%) who think homosexuality is something

people are born with favor gay marriage, compared with just 21% of those who think it is just

the way that some people prefer to live. Similarly, 49% of those who think homosexuality
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cannot be changed favor gay marriage, compared with 19% of those who think it can”

(Doherty 2). Homosexuals are under constant scrutiny from their family and friends. They

are also being discriminated against by strangers and other individuals within our society.

This discomfort should not be in a homosexual’s life and they should be able to express the

way they feel without being constantly judged from the society.

Along with the feelings involved with homosexuality, religion is also one of the

many struggles that gay and lesbian couples have to deal with in every day life. “You shall

not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination” (Leviticus 18:22). This is a

famous line from the Bible that goes against the idea of homosexuality. Even though some

individuals get uncomfortable when mentioning religion, it is a main basis for many

Americans and their beliefs on controversial issues such as gay marriage. Although many

modern Christians are against same-sex marriages, most homosexuals are actually Christians

themselves. “Religion influences a large part of our society in that Christians are taught from

a very young age to be forgiving and accepting, to have characteristics of Jesus, but they all

do not practice what they are taught” (Roste 2). Actually, many of them do not practice what

is preached, making them have many double standards about homosexuality. The education

of Christians that homosexuality is bad or considered “wrong” is based on what we read in

the Bible, which is simply a collection of stories that is told from someone’s point of view.

Stories in the Bible are not anything but made up tales. People came to America for the

opportunity of freedom of religion and denying homosexuals from worshipping the way they

choose is denying their rights as an American citizen. If Christians are truly Christians, they

would be welcoming all into the church instead of judging or shunning them simply for who
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they choose to make a partnership with. The article entitled Pro adds further insight to our

understanding of same-sex marriages:

How can we condemn a person who believes in the same God as at least eighty-

five percent (if not more) of the people in this country believe in. Jesus would

have loved everyone equally because he knew that everyone was not perfect. He

even said, “If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at

her.” Let’s let the one who is perfect pass judgment upon the rest, but since no

one is perfect then who are we to step in and play God. It is not our rightful place

to step in and play that role (Pro 1).

Using Gillette, Wyoming as an example, a lesbian couple, Leah Vader and Lynne Huskinson,

was wed in 2006 in Canada and has been happier than ever as a couple living in Gillette.

After Ash Wednesday a local newspaper interviewed the lesbian couple and took pictures of

them with ash on their foreheads. Soon after the newspaper article was published, they had

received a notice from their parish saying they had been banned from receiving Communion

because of the article. The priest had said later that if it did not reach the newspaper than no

one would have known about the situation, and it would not have been a big deal. Vader

commented, “You spend half your time defending your gayness to Catholics, and the other

half of your time defending your Catholicism to gays” (Miller A6). This kind of

discrimination against same-sex couples should not be happening in the United States.

Homosexual couples should have the same rights as everyone else whether it is in a religious

aspect or not. As citizens of this nation, homosexuals should be permitted to marry and

attend religious sermons because it would be a violation of religious freedom to not allow
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them. The First Amendment allows individuals to exercise their freedoms and the right to

marry a member of the same sex falls under the category with freedom of religion.

America has been based off the fundamental principles of freedom which

includes, but is not only limited to the freedom of religion, it also guarantees the freedom of

speech, the press, and assembly. Stoddard acknowledges that, “Marriage, the Supreme Court

declared in 1967, is ‘one of the basic civil rights of man’ (and presumably, of woman as

well). The freedom to marry, said the Court, is ‘essential to the orderly pursuit of

happiness’” (Stoddard 30). Marriage is a basic human right that belongs to each and every

individual, whether you are homosexual or not, not to the state. The government should not

be allowed to be in the position to arrange marriages and decide who marries who. Doherty

demonstrates the political party’s views that, “Both Democrats and Independents (39% each)

are twice as likely as Republicans (18%) to approve of gay marriage. The decision whether

or not to be married should be the individual’s choice, not the government’s preference”

(Doherty 1). By not letting same-sex couples get married is a form of minority

discrimination. No government should be able to prohibit anyone from legally declaring his

or her love. Discrimination against a particular group of people because of race, color or

religion is outlawed by our nation’s constitution. Homosexuals are denied their basic rights

every day, not only because of their race, color or choice of religion, but because of their

sexual orientation. Our nation’s famous words, “equality, liberty, and justice for all,” is not

being carried out while prohibiting the rights of this specific group of people. The laws that

prohibit homosexuals to marry are similar to the laws that once abolished by the Supreme

Court in 1967 for interracial marriages. This was once an extremely controversial issue in

the United States and now is humdrum during this time period and happens daily. As
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discussed in The New York Times, “The idea of marriage between two people of the same

sex is still very new, and for some unsettling, but we have been down this road before. This

debate follows the same narrative arc as women's liberation, racial integration, disability

rights and every other march of marginalized Americans into the mainstream” (The Road

to…1). Civil law permits marriage between divorced, imprisoned, and insane people;

however, they do not allow the marriage of same-sex couples. Who draws the line at gay

people and for what reason? A large number of homosexual individuals are more fitting to

marry, adopt a child, and create a strong family atmosphere as opposed to an individual who

maybe was divorced, imprisoned, or insane. In a personal interview, L. gave her view on gay

marriages, “Although I am not married myself but wish to be one day, being in a lesbian

relationship in the United States is a very hard thing to deal with. It is an emotional

rollercoaster, and I hope one day people will understand. And as for the government, I

believe they should allow two women or men to engage in marriage if they are truly in love,

like my partner and me” (L. 1). The lesbian couple has adopted two children from China that

would have been killed if they were left there. This is a major benefit for our society, and

even the world, because many same-sex couples adopt children and give them a much better

environment to live in instead of leaving them in orphanages. Adopting children that would

have been killed is only one of the benefits of allowing gay marriages to occur in the United

States.

Homosexuality is a complex issue that should be solved. We are a country who

prides itself on being open and not discriminating toward other cultures and ethnic groups

and should carry through with that idea. Jasper explains that, “Same-sex couples only want

what is given to the rest of the country. They want the pension and life insurance of a spouse
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when they die, they want the tax breaks and they want to be able to openly show their love

for each other without living “in sin”” (Jasper 3-4). Gay marriages do not hurt or affect

anyone outside of the marriage. Society is not affected at all by any means so why should

society or anyone else for that matter dictate whether or not homosexuals should be allowed

to marry each other. Gay marriage is a commitment between two individuals and that is

where the line should be drawn. If two people of the same sex are in love and committed to

each other than they should be allowed to join each other in holy matrimony. Homosexuals

should not have decisions made for them or be treated any differently then anyone else. Gay

marriages should be legalized in t he United States of America. It is a violation of

constitutional rights by disallowing individuals of the same sex to marry. As an American

citizen, we are entitled the right to exercise our freedoms. On a daily basis, homosexuals are

discriminated against for their affiliation with other members of the same sex. This

discrimination should not be allowed any longer. The issue of same-sex marriages is a

controversial one, but an issue that does not harm or affect the members of society but

actually make it better. Marriage has gone through many changes throughout the times, and

should change once more for the homosexuals of our country.

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Works Cited

Doherty, Carroll. “Republicans Unified, Democrats Split on Gay Marriage.” The Pew

Research Center For The People & The Press 18 Nov. 2003. 30 Mar. 2007

<http://pewforum.org/‌publications/‌surveys/‌religion-homosexuality.pdf>.

The Holy Bible: New International Version. New York: Harper, 1983.

Jasper, Margaret C. Living Together: Practical Legal Issues. Dobbs Ferry, New York:

Oceana Publications, Inc., 2003.

L, M. Personal interview. 6 Apr. 2007.

Miller, Kathleen. “Lesbian couple denied Communion for public stand.” The Morning

Call 6 Apr. 2007: A6.

“Pro.” Should the Definition of Marriage be Limited to Heterosexuals?

http://www.ufmcc.com/‌issues.htm. 3 Apr. 2007

<http://sun.menloschool.org/‌~sportman/‌ethics/‌project/‌topics/‌gaymarriage/‌index.ht

ml>.

“The Road to Gay Marriages.” The New York Times 7 Mar. 2004. 1 Apr. 2007

<http://www.nytimes.com/‌2004/‌03/‌07/‌opinion/‌07SUN1.html?

ex=1393995600&en=a36e081e2930e30d&ei=5007&partner=USERLAND>.

Roste, Vaughn. “Ten Reasons Why Christians Should Support Same-Sex Marriage.”

Equal Marriage For Same-Sex Couples. 6 Nov. 2003. 3 Apr. 2007

<http://www.samesexmarriage.ca/‌equality/‌ten_reasons.htm>.

Stoddard, Thomas B. Contemporary & Classic Arguments: A Portable Anthology. New

York: Bedford/‌St. Martin’s: Ed. Sylvan Barnet and Hugo Bedau, 2005.
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Williams, Walter L., and Yolanda Retter. Gay and Lesbian Rights in the United States.

Westport, Connecticut: Greenwood Press, 2003.