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Test results

Your lifetraps

Unrelenting very
standards strong
Insufficient self- very
control strong
Emotional very
deprivation strong
Self-sacrifice strong
Subjugation strong
Entitlement strong
Abuse strong
Pessimism strong
Dependence medium
Enmeshment medium
Punitiveness medium
Approval seeking medium
Failure weak
Sosial isolation weak
Abandonment weak
Emotional inhibation

The test results are suggestive and for information only. The results should help
you identify your lifetraps. For the description of lifetraps, The test is in trial use. Please send feedback
to The strength of the life trap: - very strong (lifetrap
guides your life strongly and widely) - strong (lifetrap affects your life strongly) -
medium (lifetrap affects your life in many cases) - weak (lifetrap affects your life
Detailed results

Unrelenting standards
Lifetrap strength: very strong 19% of people answering the test got the same
result. 75% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I have to perform all
my duties before I can rest. 6 I have to do my best, second best is not good
enough. There is always need for improvement. 6 I have success in my life but I
find it hard to stop and enjoy it. 5 You are highly demanding on yourself,
although you will probably see your standards quite reasonable. You feel that
you have to do something all the time, to get results, be efficient and keep things
in order. You can’t be happy with yourself if you do not meet your requirements.
Nothing ever seems to be sufficient; there is always something worth pursuing.
The feelings of inadequacy, failure, inferiority and shame lurk nearby and strike
hard if you can’t reach your requirements. You strive to avoid these unpleasant
feelings, and it causes you anxiety and stress. Stress may arise in various
physical symptoms - insomnia, fatigue, high blood pressure, ulcer or panic
attacks. You find it hard to relax and just enjoy life. You may be mostly frustrated
and irritated with yourself and others. To you, life is performing, and you believe
that at the end it will bring to you a prize - freedom or perfection. The
achievements, however, feel empty after all and you need to look for the
following tasks and challenges. If you choose to succeed at something, you will
probably succeed - however, you can’t stop to enjoy the success. Maybe you
neglect your friends or loved ones - because you do not have the time to relax
and give your time to the others.

Insufficient self-control

Lifetrap strength: very strong 14% of people answering the test got the same
result. 62% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I'm impulsive and I
get easily bored, routine tasks are really not for me. I don't always consider the
consequences of my actions. 6 I have trouble putting limits for myself and that is
why I do too many things that are harmful to me (e.g. I drink, eat, smoke or
gamble). 5 I have trouble controlling my desires, my feelings and impulses. I
have trouble expressing anger constructively. 6 You are impulsive, you give your
impulses the control of your life. You find it hard to concentrate for any length of
time, because your mind creates impulses and would like to do something else.
You have difficult time trying to control your emotions and your mind. You do not
always think about the consequences of your actions, which will cause you
problems. You may run into problems with the authorities. Your life is more or
less in chaos. You may find it difficult to express your anger constructively, which
results in raging and other inappropriate behavior. Lack of self-discipline and
boundaries can easily lead to addictions: drinking, smoking, excessive eating,
sex addiction, internet addiction or other problematic behaviors. You start
projects on a whim, but they are often left half-finished, and you have a number
of them going on at the same time. In working life, your impulsiveness can lead
you to repeated failures when you do not reach your goals. In relationships you
may alienate people close to you with your behavior. You might feel drawn to
demanding, systematic, and discipline people who bring a counterbalance to
your lack of self-discipline.

Emotional deprivation

Lifetrap strength: very strong 15% of people answering the test got the same
result. 55% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I can't get enough
love, care or affection. 5 In the beginning of a relationship I am hopeful and I feel
I have found the partner of my life. However, the relationship ends always in a
disappointment. 5 I have barely had anyone who really listened to, understood
and cared about me. 5 You feel that no one will or can satisfy your need for love
and care, and probably you feel often that no one really listens and understands
you. You might avoid love relationships, relationships tend to be short or you
protect yourself with falling in love with a person who is not available. You might
fall in love with cold, rejecting and inhibited persons. Something in them attracts
you strongly. Relationships often end after the high expectations with bitter
disappointment. Perhaps the great desire that your partner will change and
someday be able to fulfill your needs keeps you in relation with an unsatisfying
partner. You might expect that the loved one should be able to read your mind
and automatically satisfy your needs for affection and intimacy. You may not
have ever considered expressing your needs, on the other hand you may
withdraw from or be hurt if one is unable to meet your need for feeling loved.
Repeated deprivation confirms the beliefs that you will never find a life partner
and you will never get the love you need.

Lifetrap strength: strong 36% of people answering the test got the same result.
87% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I find it hard to ask others
to take care of me and my needs. 2 I feel guilty if I don't act according to the
expectations of others. 5 I always find time to take care of others and the beloved
ones. I'm used to listen to other people's problems. 5 You've learned to pay
attention to the needs of others and your own needs can easily be left aside. If
you put your own needs first, it is likely that you feel guilt. You sacrifice your own
needs so that you don’t have to feel guilty about the fact that you have not
noticed enough the needs of others. You sacrifice your needs voluntarily, simply
because the needs of others are above your own. You are empathetic by nature,
and do not want others to feel any discomfort, you'd rather feel it yourself. You
are strong and take a lot of responsibility and support the well-being of others. It
is easy for you to be compassionate and understanding towards others. You are
usually listening to other people’s problems and you tell about yours just a bit.

Lifetrap strength: strong 36% of people answering the test got the same result.
82% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I have trouble standing up
for myself with people. 1 I am kind and flexible, and I avoid conflicts. 5 I please
others to avoid unpleasant consequences. 5 You feel that you need to please
your loved ones, friends, colleagues and even strangers. You do not want to be
tricky, but nice and comfortable, so you easily agree to things that do not seem to
be particularly important to you. You may find it difficult to stand up for yourself in
both small and large matters. You let others control you more or less, because
you want to avoid unpleasant consequences. You do not openly express your
needs, because you do not see them important enough. You hide your anger to
evade a conflict. However, the suppression of anger leads to accumulation of
anger inside of you, which is usually dissolved either in a passive expression of
anger as a small-scale revenge, gossip, slowing down, whining; or surprising
aggressive temper tantrums. Anger can give rise to the desire to rebel and defy
those who you consider as authorities (e.g. managers, spouse). You may attract
people who are dominant and bossy, who will decide for you on how to act,
behave or feel.

Lifetrap strength: strong 12% of people answering the test got the same result.
35% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't have to operate
under the same rules or social norms as the others. 6 My way to do things the
right way. I get angry or frustrated when things don't go according to my mind. 3 I
break the rules of the society because I think I have the right to do so. 1 You
view yourself as special and therefore legitimate for non-standard operating
procedures. Your needs are more important to you than the needs of others. You
are demanding and controlling toward others, and you want to do things the way
you want. You have difficulty accepting resistance when you want something.
You want to make sure that you get what you want, how you want and whenever
you want. You get bored easily; the routine tasks are just not for you - you should
not have to do them. You may break the law or the rules - for example, by
speeding in the traffic or by cheating in commercial transactions or taxation -
because you believe that you are entitled to do so. You like how you feel with this
lifetrap, therefore, you may not see your own behavior as problematic, but people
close to you see and feel it. Before long, however, may get you into trouble
because of your selfish behavior. You may get into a relationship with a partner
who you can dominate and mistreat. This lifetrap offers in many cases
compensation for another lifetrap – usually defectiveness, emotional deprivation,
social alienation or subjugation.


Lifetrap strength: strong 24% of people answering the test got the same result.
60% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't trust other people
very easily and I believe that I will eventually be betrayed or abused. 4 I have
been abused or taken advantage of by important people in my life. 4 I have to
protect myself and I push people away so that they can't hurt me. 4 You fear that
other people will hurt, cheat, be violent, abuse or take advantage of you in some
way. You probably don't feel confident and safe but rather you see threats in your
relationships. It is usually hard for you to trust other people. You might have
doubts about the intentions of others and you believe they will deceive you one
way or another, sooner or later. You will not let anyone get close to you and you
do not dare to open up to in your relationships. You are careful and you may test
whether other people are worthy of trusting. However, you may be attracted by
people who are abusers and you let others treat you badly. Repeated emotional
experiences of exploitation or abuse tend to strengthen the lifetrap. This eats out
your self-esteem, and you find it hard to get out of a relationship where you are
being mistreated.


Lifetrap strength: strong 28% of people answering the test got the same result.
70% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I pay much attention to the
negative side of life. 4 Even if something good would happen, I'm afraid that
something unpleasant will happen next. 5 I try to be very careful not to do wrong
things, which could lead to a disaster. 1 You are a pessimist, and you pay more
attention to negative than positive things in life. You tend to worry a lot about
future events or situations. If things seem to go well, it seems only temporary. If
something good happens you’ll expect that something bad is going to happen
next. You fear that you may make wrong decisions that can lead to a crisis or a
disaster. You worry about mistakes and therefore you aim to be as careful as


Lifetrap strength: medium 21% of people answering the test got the same
result. 48% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I do not manage on
my own, I need others to get through everyday responsibilities. I not capable of
taking care of myself. 1 I find it hard to trust my ability to make the right
decisions, even in simple cases. 5 I evade responsibility, taking initiative and
going to challenging situations. 1 You feel that you are somehow unable to take
care of yourself. You do not trust your own judgment. You need, therefore, other
people to support you and to take care of you. You are dependent on friends and
family - you are not an independent adult coping on your own. Probably you are
still in close contact with your parents, who affect your life dramatically. Making
decisions is difficult for you, you might be asking for advice and confirmation from
others; you would change your mind many times, and still be unsure of your
decision. You might avoid responsibility, initiative and challenging situations. You
feel anxiety and despair if you have to take more responsibility than what you feel
capable of having. Perhaps the only chance for you to survive is to team up with
a strong partner, which will eventually make you even more dependent on others.


Lifetrap strength: medium 14% of people answering the test got the same
result. 28% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't know what I
want or need for myself because my parents or my partner affect me so strongly.
5 I have not become independent of my parents like other people of my age. 1 I
need to talk with my parents almost every day, otherwise they will be hurt and I'll
feel guilty. 1 You feel that you are so enmeshed with your parents or partner,
that you no longer know who you are. It is hard for you to disagree with the
parents’ or partner's opinion, so generally you agree with them. You may feel that
your parents or your partner live through you, as if you do not have your own life
at all. You do not know what you want, what you need or what you feel yourself,
everything is enmeshed with the other. If there is something you don’t tell your
parent or your partner, you will feel guilty because it can offend or hurt the other.
You have not been able to become independent enough of your parents.

Lifetrap strength: medium 20% of people answering the test got the same
result. 57% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I am harsh to
myself if I make a mistake and I might punish myself for it. 5 I am angry at myself
because I'm so weak, sentimental or needy. 1 I blame myself or call myself
stupid, lazy or selfish. 1 You are very hard on yourself and punish yourself if you
act incorrectly. You are often angry at yourself and criticize yourself for your
mistakes. You might feel guilty or ashamed of how you've acted. You may be
angry at yourself because you are sometimes weak, sentimental, or needy. If
something bad happens to you, you might think that it was deserved, and you do
not deserve sympathy or compassion. You may also be punitive to those around
you. Your children may get an earful if things do not go as you please. You find it
hard to forgive yourself and others and you do not accept excuses too easily.

Approval seeking

Lifetrap strength: medium 25% of people answering the test got the same
result. 68% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: For me, it is
important that all people like me, including the ones I don't like. 2 When I make
decisions, I have to consider how others accept my choices and how they react
to my decisions. 3 I'm trying to belong and I adapt easily to what others expect
from me. 3 It is important for you that all people like you, even strangers. You
strive to please other people. Even if you would not like some person, you want
that he or she likes you. You may make decisions thinking how your parents,
your partner or your friends accept them. You may be afraid to do things on your
own way, because you are afraid that might be accused or criticized. In a group
you are trying hard to belong and you might transform yourself, depending on
what you think others want from you. You hope that you would be liked, and
therefore you aim to avoid conflict or hurting other people. You do not put forward
your own opinions in fear of rejection, or you present strong opinions to test how
others accept you. You may dress in a very conservative or acceptable way not
to feel yourself different from others and to avoid becoming an outsider. You
make a lot of effort in ensuring the people would appreciate you. You might
acquire success, achievements, status, wealth or beauty, so that others could
appreciate you. It is difficult for you to appreciate yourself for who you are, rather
other people are a mirror of your dignity.


Lifetrap strength: weak 42% of people answering the test got the same result.
58% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't think that I'm
equally talented as the others. I'm not so successful at school or at work as the
others. 2 I avoid challenges and difficult tasks so that I would not fail and feel
humiliated. 1 I often compare myself to others and I consider myself in some way
a failure. 4 You think you are doomed to failure, as if you are lacking some
essential skills or abilities. You may have learned to avoid challenges or difficult
tasks in the fear of failure. You might believe that you do not know enough or you
are not able to do something, and that is why you are not taking tasks seriously.
You might compare yourself to others and consider yourself a failure, inferior, or
less talented than others. You think that the others have been more successful,
and you do not appreciate your own achievements - there is always someone
who has succeeded or done better. The effect of this lifetrap can be seen
especially at the workplace. You might avoid career progress, taking challenges,
promotion, committing or taking initiative. You may be trying to compensate for
the feeling of failure with perfect performance and accuracy. The belief of being a
failure will increase with each experience of failure.

Sosial isolation

Lifetrap strength: weak 37% of people answering the test got the same result.
64% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I don't quite fit in, so I find
myself often feeling as an outsider. 2 I feel I'm fundamentally different from the
others. 2 I'm avoiding social situations because it is exhausting. 3 You often feel
anxiety in social situations and it makes you avoid them. You feel different and
therefore not fitting in. With new people you feel uncomfortable and nervous and
you do not really know what to say. You might be nervous about the situation and
afraid of getting into the spotlight. Feeling anxious you are wondering what others
might think of you. When you are upset you are unable to use your social skills,
so you will feel insecure and withdraw. You may be accustomed to avoid social
situations to the extent that it seems quite natural - but at the same time you
need inside a closer contact with fellow human beings. In a group you may
pretend you're more like the others and you want to give a good impression of
yourself. You might get into working positions, which does not require a lot of
interaction. In close relationships you'll feel more confident and calm - you can be
more truly yourself. The repeated experience of being an outsider makes you
avoid more and more unpleasant social situations.


Lifetrap strength: weak 39% of people answering the test got the same result.
61% scored at least medium strength. Your answers: I'm afraid that I'll lose my
beloved people one way or another. 4 I fall in love with people who are not willing
to make a commitment. 1 I have trouble with myself if I'm left alone. 1 Fear of
loss of controls your life - you are worried about being left alone. You believe that
your loved ones will die or leave you one way or another. You fear being left
alone and will probably stick to your close people, but at the same time expel
them from you – your worst fear is like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Loss of fear
induces a lack of confidence that comes out as control, possessiveness and
jealousy. Addictions can be a coping mechanism for solitude making the anxiety
seem more bearable. You experience the normal situations of separation in
relationships distressing and you do not feel confident that the relationship would
last any breaks. You easily make wrong interpretations of other people’s
intentions, based on which you may overreact, like when someone is not
answering your call or text message. Although the relationship is stable, it feels
only temporary - as if it were constantly at stake. When you get desperate you
might threaten with separation, as if to test your expectations - will the
relationship come to an end this time. Losses you experience strengthen your
beliefs that you can’t find any lasting relationship.

Statistics: lifetraps of the people answering the test

Scoring at least medium in the strength for each lifetrap. The statistics is based
on 25000 most recent results in the Finnish version of the test. Self-sacrifice
87% (Your score: strong) Subjugation 82% (Your score: strong) Unrelenting
standards 75% (Your score: very strong) Pessimism 70% (Your score:
strong) Approval seeking 68% (Your score: medium) Emotional inhibation 68%
(Your score: no lifetrap) Sosial isolation 64% (Your score: medium) Insufficient
self-control 62% (Your score: very strong) Abandonment 61% (Your score:
weak) Abuse 60% (Your score: strong) Failure 58% (Your score:
medium) Punitiveness 57% (Your score: medium) Emotional deprivation 55%
(Your score: very strong) Vulnerablity 54% (Your score: no
lifetrap) Defectiveness 54% (Your score: no lifetrap) Dependence 48% (Your
score: medium) Entitlement 35% (Your score: strong) Enmeshment 28% (Your
score: medium)

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Time of test: 15.05.2013 23:50 Service provided by Mentores, Oulu, Finland.
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