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Veronica Bendele

Dr. Homan and Dr. Stephenson

BA Capstone – TA 4100

21 October 2018

Theatre Exposes the Family

Theatre explores the inner workings of a family, that society tends to give a blind eye to.

As theatre is able to expose imperfections, we do not want to acknowledge. Sociology uses the

term nuclear family. The nuclear family is made up of a mother, father, and their children

(Merriam Webster).

However, even with the ideal being an nuclear family, sociologist prefer to focus on how

the members of a family relate to one another, than solely on their role within the family. This

debate is brought to us from a conservative versus, sociologist standpoint. As a conservative

individual focuses on the roles within a family. In sociological terms a family is defined usually

by individuals joined by blood, marriage, or adoption (Press Books). Yet, society gives

assumptions to what the family should be.

The ideal family was for the father figure in a family to be the breadwinner. He would

leave day in and out to earn the income for the family. While, the mother figure has been

idealized as the main caregiver out of the two parents. Whether that means, the mother should

have a job or not (American Academy of Pediatrics). The parents should be married, in this ideal

type of family. However, more and more families no longer fit this mold today.
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As time goes on what society deems as what a family should be changes as well. These changes

are based on major occurrences within the period. This will determine whether certain

individuals become more empowered.

During the era in which Henrik Ibsen lived, women lacked as many rights as they have today.

When Ibsen wrote A Doll’s House it was controversial due to the ending. As in this period,

people whom were allowed to marry usually did, and did so until death. The idea of divorce was

almost nonexistent. (Husung Tricia, The Evolution of the American Family Structure.)

This was due to coverture laws. Which made it so that when a woman would wed she lost

rights. She was now an object to her husband, through the law. As prior to marriage a woman

had the right to have their own will. Once marriage took place, in order to sue or be sued, it had

to go through their husband. In order to sale any property, that would be theirs, now was their

husband’s. Their husband could then control, whether it was necessary to sell property or not

(The Editors of Encyclopaedia Britannica, Encyclopaedia Britannica.) However, there was

another law created to limit, or help diminish coverture laws. They were known as Married

Women’s property laws. This law allowed women to write wills. This was enacted by 1848, but

some states had already taken this up. Connecticut begun as early as 1809 (The Library of

Congress.) It was not until the late 1960s when divorce became legalized, as no-fault divorce.

Indicating that individuals within the marriage had the right to walk away from the legally

binding marriage whether both parties wanted to divorce or not (Ross Ashley, A Brief History of

Divorce in America: From Legal Rarity to Dark Comedy).

In Ibsen’s A Doll’s House, Nora leaves her family in the end. In the period, in which

Ibsen had written this piece, the idea of a woman leaving her family was unheard of. That is why

he faced so much back lash for his play. He was forced into writing an alternative ending for his
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play, in which he felt was, “a barbaric outrage in relation to what he originally wrote.” (English

Literature.) As in the alternative ending Nora returns to see her children. To have this ending,

defeats the purpose that Ibsen had. As, this quote explains why she must leave, “No, just having

fun. You’ve always been very nice to me. But our home has never been anything but a playpen.

I’ve been your doll-wife here, just like I was Papa’s doll-child at home. And my children, in turn,

have been my dolls. It was fun when you came and played with me, just like they had fun when I

played with them. That’s what our marriage has been Torvald” (p.766).

This quote explains Nora’s entire life. That she never felt truly human, but as a doll. One to only

matter, when it was appropriate to. Then due to that, she gave the same life to her children. With

this realization, she knew it would be best for everyone for her to leave. That way she could

figure out what it would be like, to feel human. To not have to be manipulated by individuals in

her life, that were meant to love her. Then also to not do the same to her children. That way, they

may receive a life without as many lies, as she has had.

For the time period, a play that depicted problems such as this within a family, that resulted in

the figure whom was meant to stay by the side of their husband and raise their children leaving,

was wrongful. Even if there seemed to be logical reasoning behind it.

The idea of this is an example of family dynamics. How people view what the family

should be. Ibsen used A Doll’s House, to represent that we idealize a perfect family. One that is

not truly possible. It is where a family seems happy on the outside, but on the inside, there may

be many problems. One where it appears that the marriage was a perfect union. Yet, when the

family digs into their core, many problems arise. In the case of A Doll’s House, Nora faced

manipulation and control. Those were her forms of abuse.

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As the norms for a family may be everchanging, as we acknowledge differing types of

families, yet fixate on the nuclear family. It is still apparent today, that a family is meant to hold

up a specific standard. Where they all appear happy, but behind the walls many problems occur.

This is still explored in a variety of ways today, such as in Melanie Martinez’ song Dollhouse

(Martinez Melanie, Dollhouse.)

Exposing the fact, that many of the expectations from when Ibsen had written a Dollhouse still

prevail. As norms are meant to give us ideals on how to act and live our lives. If we feel we do

not fit the mold, it almost seems wrongful and something to hide.

Such things such as following the nuclear family, is still a new concept. As it begun in

the twentieth century. This was due to a variety of things, such as better health and longer lives,

as well as economic development. Otherwise, families before tended to be multigenerational

(The American Academy of Pediatrics.)

The idea that any argument that may occur within a family, is wrongful is not true. Spats are

bound to happen from time to time. Harmony is a general rule but cannot always be followed.

Just as how stability is not an accurate measure of how successful a family is, as disruptions are

going to occur within a family. Although, parents do raise their children, they cannot determine

how their child will turn out, as their children tend to also have other influences (American

Academy of Pediatrics.)

As Ibsen has contributed to the debunking of social norms, this was done accurately

through his use of realism. As this is a form of Theatre for Social Change (TfSC). As the idea

that Sarah Thompton uses by quoting Prentki and Preston, theater in the service of social

change” (Thompton Sarah, What is Theatre for Social Change.) In other words, theatre can
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prompt social change. More so that theatre as a whole can have an impact on the lives of an

individual, and those individuals can help to make changes within society.

Theatre does not only have to make a change to individuals based on one viewing the

production, but one’s experience within the production can bring change as well.

Such as when I was in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. In my experience, my

mother would not want to pick me up at appropriate times after rehearsals would end, which

prompted a member of the production team to want to call my mom and talk to her about the

situation. In which I had to convince her not to, as I was afraid of the repercussions I would face.

The director also made a comment, which made me realize it was noticeable to people that my

mom may not have appeared to be the most ideal.

It was not only my mom’s lack of wanting to pick me up from rehearsals, but her will to drop me

off as well. As one time I had to search through emails, in hopes to locate someone from the cast

that would be willing to pick me up and take me to rehearsals. She was deeply upset with me for

not having made contacts there to rely on, for when she did not want to be responsible for me. I

was lucky, and had emailed someone, whom responded back to me. I had not known, and when

my mom begun getting outraged at needing to take me, the person had shown up, and I was able

to be taken to rehearsals on time.

However, much like how the production of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe

depicts that the worst act an individual can do is betray a family member. I would not betray my

mom would someone from the production team decided to talk poorly of her. That way it was

still protecting the family, to keep us together and stronger.

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In this case I was surprised, when someone appeared to question how my mom was as a

parent, realizing not everything was completely unnoticed to people. However, I would not

betray my mother either.

During my experience with Into the Woods Jr, there may had been slight changes. Not that a

director noticed anything this time, but more so another cast member. As one day after rehearsals

had ended, my mom came to pick me up. I was excited because the person whom was

Cinderella’s Step-mother had dropped the show, and I was given the role. Well, on the way

home we had stopped at a Family Video venue, where I was thirsty and wanted a drink. My mom

had said, “why don’t you buy a drink, oh wait you don’t have any money,” in a snarky way. To

which she ended up still getting me a Gatorade, and in the car, she begun to gulp out of it, and I

tried to take it, and she threatened to kick me out of the car. She mentioned it would be her

second time kicking me out, and I said it would be the third time. She tried to call me a liar, but I

began to tell of the first two times. In which she stopped the vehicle and made me get out. On my

walk home, a Sheriff saw me and picked me up. I was outside of the Barium Springs home of

children, when he had picked me up. He asked my age, and I showed him my ID. I was eighteen

at the time. The Sheriff begun to ask me questions about my mom and I but got interrupted by

his walkie talkie or what the device was that begun to give him information on something to do.

This allowed me to evade his questions and not get my mom in trouble.

Again, the family dynamics within this production, somewhat may parallel me. As the

daughters to Cinderella’s Stepmother did what their mother wanted, as it would be best for the

family. I might not have done exactly as she wanted, by not keeping my mouth shut in the car.

However, I did evade telling the sheriff information, that could cause problems for our family.

So, I did what was best, as did the stepsisters within the play. They had their toes, or their heel
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removed, to try and fit the shoe. They did that, so they may try and marry the prince, and be well

off. Mine may not have been for release of financial burden, but it was still a form of protection.

My mom had decided to no longer pick me up from rehearsals after this, and a fellow cast

member had learned of my situation and begun to drop me off after each rehearsal.

With, that I did have to release information, to someone for my own benefit, but it was not going

to cause potential problems within my household due to it.

However, my experience with Oliver Twist differed more so. I was seventeen years old,

and due to that I was not allowed to leave the theatre, unless escorted by someone who was at

least eighteen. This was for my own protection and safety. Usually they would have the parent

come in to, sign out their child, but my mom was handicapped so they decided allowed me to be

escorted out instead.

Well, one time I had to be escorted out several times, the final time I saw her and made it to the

car. The people who escorted me, had already begun walking back up to the theatre, when I

opened the car door to my mom yelling at me, “what the hell is wrong with you.” I was

confused, but she said she had circled the place a couple times waiting on me. I let her know I

had come out by escort a few times, and had not seen her, but that did not matter. She till told

me, I would not be allowed to participate in Mooresville Community Theatre again.

Later I did not need her to come and pick me up, as she had gotten ill. It was found that each

lung had a blood clot in it. In which case someone else’s family had decided to pick me and drop

me off from rehearsals, for the majority of the time. I begun to feel bad about it, when my mom

continued to expect it from them even when she was well enough to do it herself.
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Oliver faced problems as he was an orphan, and the people who could be considered

parental only threatened to beat him for something he could not control. That was his hunger, for

me my mom wanted me to give up on community theatre in Mooresville, for my inability to find

her due to needing to be escorted, and her moving around instead of staying in one place. Then

when she had the chance to decide to pick me up or not once again, she relied on others caring

more for her child. Much like how Oliver had to hope for help from people that were not his

parents, but not due to their neglect, but rather death.

While Oliver clearly had more trials to go through than I, we both have had to hope that

additional parties outside of our parents would help us in our own way. As, his was more

understandable, due to the death of his parents, instead of a parent trying to shove him off.

However, he is shoved off to a variety of people until being able to find someone that is ideal.

Someone to be more of a parent to him.

As each production listed above was a few moments in my life, that may have depicted the

unhappy family life, or expressing complications within. When stories such as the ones above are

told, or maybe ones that face to realism more so. Such of A Doll’s House, or A Street Car Named

Desire. As both stories depict a form of abuse, rather one is verbal, and the other is more so

physical with some verbal attributes. For one to see a production of either one of these plays, it

brings awareness to situations that millions of people go through.

According to the National Domestic Hotline, about half of men and women in

domesticated relationships face psychological aggression by the spouse at some point in their

life. While eighty-four percent of victims in a domesticated relationship have face emotional

abuse, about half are physically abused, and a third are sexually abused (National Domestic

Hotline.) While in A Street Car Named Desire, Stanley did not only abuse his wife rather if it
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was in any of the forms listed above, he had also abused Blanche. He did so by trying to mess

with her emotionally before he sexually attacked her. This production having such explicit

material in it, may bother some individuals due to not wanting to acknowledge how often

occurrences such as that may occur, while for others it could become problematic if it brings

back a negative experience.

Yet, it does bring awareness, that way there are more people that may try do what they

can to help someone in a situation, in which they face any kind of abuse. That way maybe abuse

within a family can become lessened in society.

As being abused can help contribute to psychological disorders. Abuse does not always

contribute to a psychological disorder, but could be part of the causation for anxiety, personality

disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as depression. (Patricelli Kathryn,

Effects of Abuse.) It is important to acknowledge people can have these psychological disorders

without facing forms of abuse. However, when abuse is unknown to society, one of the problems

is that the victims often blame themselves (The Guardian.)

Often families have fears of being ripped apart, and that is why abuse is kept secret as

well. According to The Hotline, people facing abuse either did not want to call the police, or felt

the police worsened their abuse. As twenty-five present of women did not want to call the police,

and over half felt the police worsened their situation (The Hotline.)

The reason one may not want to seek help from the police, aside from fear of their abuser is,

some states have laws that allow landlords to evict someone if police are called too often,

survivors of abuse often feel that officers do not properly investigate their abuse, and even on

occasion the victim is threatened with arrest rather than their offender (The Hotline.)
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In my experience, it had been a few days since my mom came into my room and hit me

in the back of my head and repeatedly on my back. She had taken a sims game a bought for

myself, when she was unhappy with me playing on the computer. I kept asking for it back, and

she threatened to call the police on me if I would not stop asking her where my game was. When

she picked up the phone and called the police, I packed a bag with a few things, and left. I

planned to walk to Dollar General and call a friend, to see if they could let me stay the night.

Instead, someone asked me on my way to Dollar General if the dog they had found was mine or

if I knew her the dog belonged to. I let them know, I did not. I also took a moment to pet the dog,

and then the police turned into their driveway. They soon realized, it was for me, not the dog. I

told the officers about my mom hitting from two differing instances that had been recent, one

was not as bad as the other. The officers let me know that since it had been over twenty-four

hours and she had not left any marks on me, there was nothing they could do. They took me

home and told me not to run away and waste their time.

When I got home, one officer went inside to talk to my mom, and the other stayed outside with

me. Then when the one left outside, they both went inside to let me mom know they could not

arrest me for not listening to her and told her how she should have been happy that I was not on

drugs or pregnant.

This experience had let me know there was nothing they would do.

In comparison to the law, extended family members feel different about the situation.

Some may view the abuser is a negative light, while others may decide to look past it. Not only

does one deal with potential extended family members learning of the abuse, but they must also

deal with society at times.

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Such as when DaddyOFive a popular YouTube channel had gone under fire, for videos that

depicted child abuse. When they begun to get called out on their wrongful actions, against their

children, they also begun to receive death threats from a variety of people. These death threats

scared not only the parents themselves, but also made the children face additional danger, as they

had to fear if someone would hurt their parents and potentially them in the process. (Kegan

Natalie, Abuse Claims Parents Who Were Slammed for ‘Abusing’ their Son in a Cruel YouTube

Video vow to ditch the pranks after receiving ‘Death Threats.)

The social outcry on child abuse in this family, may had been meant to seem as hatred towards

the abusers for their crimes, but in reality, only gave the family additional problems. As they

now had to worry about their well-being constantly.

Overall, society may have ideals for what the perfect family is meant to be but is far from

where it needs to be in order to be of more help. As society occasionally goes about the situation

in extreme ways, which only worsens the situation instead of being helpful.

While theatre may help bring a public eye to the problems within society, there is still

room for growth. Growth more so from society. As society has grown to realize that

acknowledging faults within a family is more common place, can be deemed positive, but if

theatre were to also push it more so to express newer complications to work on, as well as some

that have persisted over time, but have yet to be fixed. That being problems within law and

society. It may help lesson abuse as a whole.

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Citations:

Britannica, The Editors of Encyclopaedia. “Coverture.” Encyclopædia Britannica,

Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., 8 Oct. 2007, www.britannica.com/topic/coverture.

Hussung, Tricia. “The Evolution of American Family Structure.” Concordia University,

St. Paul Online, Concordia University St Paul, 23 June 2015, online.csp.edu/blog/family-

science/the-evolution-of-american-family-structure

Ibsen, Henrik. “A Doll House.” The Norton Anthology of Drama, edited by Peter Simon.

W.W. Norton and Company, 2014, pp. 722-769.

Keegan, Natalie. “Vlogger Family Slammed for 'Abusing' Their Kids in Prank Hit Back.”

The Sun, The Sun, 4 July 2017, www.thesun.co.uk/living/3364917/parents-slammed-for-

abusing-kids-youtube-prank-hit-back/.

Little, William. “Introduction to Sociology – 1st Canadian Edition.” Chapter 14.

Marriage and Family – Introduction to Sociology – 1st Canadian Edition, PressBooks, 2018,

opentextbc.ca/introductiontosociology/chapter/chapter14-marriage-and-family/.

Martinez, Melanie. “Dollhouse.” Cry Baby, Atlantic Records, 2015, track 2.

NA. “English Literature.” A Doll House A Tragedy of Two Endings, English Literature,

2018, englishliterature-notes.blogspot.com/2016/01/a-doll-house-tragedy-of-two-endings.html.

NA. “Married Women's Property Laws.” Married Women's Property Laws:Law Library

of Congress, Law Library of Congress, 2018,

memory.loc.gov/ammem/awhhtml/awlaw3/property_law.html.
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NA. “National Domestic Hotline.” National Domestic Hotline, 2018, National Domestic

Hotline. http://www.thehotline.org/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2015/09/NDVH-2015-Law-

Enforcement-Survey-Report.pdf

NA. “Nuclear Family.” Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster, 2018, www.merriam-

webster.com/dictionary/nuclear family.

NA. “Relasim.” Introduction to Theatre -- Realism, Novaonline, 16 Jan. 2009,

novaonline.nvcc.edu/eli/spd130et/realism.htm.

NA. “The ‘Perfect’ Family.” HealthyChildren.org, American Academy for Pediatrics,

2018, www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/family-dynamics/Pages/The-Perfect-

Family.aspx.

NA. “Statistics.” The National Domestic Violence Hotline, The National Domestic

Violence Hotline, 2018, www.thehotline.org/resources/statistics/

Patricelli, Kathryn. “Effects Of Abuse.” Mental Help Effects of Abuse Comments,

American Addiction Centers, 2018, www.mentalhelp.net/articles/effects-of-abuse/.

Thronton, Sarah. “What Is Theatre for Social Change.” What Is Theatre for Social

Change, Collective Encounters Research Lab , 2012, collective-encounters.org.uk/wp-

content/uploads/2014/02/What-is-Theatre-for-Social-Change1.pdf.

Ross, Ashley. “Divorce: From Legal Rarity to Sarah Jessica Parker Comedy.” Time,

Time, 7 Oct. 2016, time.com/4521314/divorce-history-sarah-jessica-parker/.

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Tickle, Louise. “Half of Children Affected by Domestic Abuse 'Not Known to Social

Services'.” The Guardian, Guardian News and Media, 26 Feb. 2014,

www.theguardian.com/society/2014/feb/26/half-children-domestic-abuse-social-services.