Beruflich Dokumente
Kultur Dokumente
We, as a Congregation of Brothers, are in the borderlands, a landscape that challenges those present to
communicate without our usual supports or defences when we are in our familiar ‘home’ places. In the
borderlands we have to be who we are, not who we think we are. I am often amused when looking at
images, of Edmund Rice, that Brothers will express their disdain for the computer-generated image that
was forensically created from the skull structure of Edmund. As a result, many choose images of
Edmund they like, most of which do not look like him at all but suggest some admirable characteristic(s).
It is similar with us, we struggle to express our true self and often show the false self because it is more
expeditious to so. To show our vulnerability requires courage and that is hard to do all day every day.
However, when the opportunity arises, and it is safe to do so, can I allow myself the chance to show
others what I really feel or think? Yes, it may be dangerous and risky but we will not know until we do.
Recently we have been reminded by that our Brothers culture is or has the potential to be toxic because
it doesn’t encourage gentleness, love, compassion and intimacy, values which the 2014 Nairobi Chapter
call the Brothers to promote in their daily living and being in right relationship with each other. These
are values which are the foundation for healthy, human living. Matthieu Daum, the facilitator for
Congregational Leadership Group, who has developed 7 principles for Generative Listening.
In brief, they are:
1. Slowing down and noticing more of what is present in the other
2. Listening with all my senses as I contemplate the other
3. Listening to the words / images chosen by the one speaking
4. Listening to the emotions conveyed by the person who is talking
5. Suspending judgement of the other
6. Noticing what I don’t understand or what trigger questions for me, rather than what I don’t
like about what I hear.
7. What do I feel as I listen to what is being said – and why?
Critical in all of this is being aware that emotions, expressed and unexpressed, are the bedrock of a
person’s presence in the world, the roots of someone’s mental models, thoughts and actions. For solid
relationships to grow and be nurtured, the sharing of one’s experience and affective responses is the
place where community develops and is desired. I would add that we are as sick as our secrets and if we
are secretive we run the risk of shutting others out.