Commented [1]: This sentence is very abstract and ...

My editing internship at an economics office this summer required that I dabble in free market Commented [2]: Can we say, "I had been trying to ...
philosophy. I was seeking to understand one article’s theory had been willing one article’s theory into my Commented [3]: Sounds good.
understanding, scratching through the pages with underlines and question marks and brief abstractions of
Commented [4]: Can we do, "Of course I was bored ...
the text. By mid-afternoon, of course, I was bored with this. There were mountains out my window, and
there was hiking to do and marmots to seethe visiting scholar kept passing by my cubicle with bottles of Commented [5]: That works well.

wine. By the last paragraph, the reading had impressed little on me besides what I knew I was supposed to Commented [6]: As this will be posted on Cedarville's...
remember about costs and benefits. Commented [7]: But I didn't have anything to do with ...
Commented [8]: I agree with you. But I am not posting...
But then, a subtle grace at the end of the text: “there is no better way to learn a subject than to teach it
Commented [9]: "and the visiting scholars kept ...
term after term. So go to it, all you teachers of economics. You learn by doing.”
Commented [10]: What about "carrying drinks and ...

I teared up. An actual tear made a divet in my notebook paper. And the author finally earned a piece of Commented [11]: Or "with drinks and joking among ...
positive marginalia, a smiley face in pencil smile and a memory, even six months later--from me, his Commented [12]: This strikes me as awkward ...
reader. Commented [13]: Sounds good.
Commented [14]: How about just "the basics of"
Now, the author wasn’t saying much, really, and certainly nothing that should solicit tears. At first I was
Commented [15]: I want to keep this because it ...
worried about my mental condition because I couldn’t justify this reaction.
Commented [16]: I don't think it communicates that ...

But what I found at the end of this scholarly essay was a line of music, of rhythm, timbre, pitch. So Commented [17]: What do you think of adding a ...
beautifully composed that I couldn’t help but stop and appreciate it. Haven’t you found sentences like Commented [18]: This doesn't sound like me. Still ...
that? Commented [19]: "The beauty of it at the end of the ...
Commented [20]: It seems a bit aggressive. And I ...
As an editor in an academic and professional setting, this interested and excited me. What finally made
me friends with this author wasn’t ultimately his grammar, his factual accuracy, even his logic, although Commented [21]: I don't think we need anything after...

he possessed all these throughout. It was the pure art of the text that, as strange as it sounds, Commented [22]: You're right. Disregard that ...
subconsciously touched me the most essential part of me, my emotions, the part of me that causes me to Commented [23]: The post is a little long, so I'm trying...
believe and change. As a writer and editor who seeks to persuade readers to action, I think it’swe’d best to Commented [24]: I really want to keep this. It's not ...
approach my work, my professional work, as song.
Commented [25]: I can see why this feels important to...

So naturally, when I edit for style, I edit by ear. I don’t approach it as a police search for passives, Commented [26]: Can I have "and deeply" after ...
nominalizations, fragments, or interrupting phrases. I listen to the sentences, and I feel them out, and I Commented [27]: Absolutely. Works well.
can’t explain the process much more precisely than that. In The Elements of Style, E.B. White said, “Who Commented [28]: This is beautiful, but not all editors ...
can confidently say what ignites a certain combination of words, causing them to explode in the mind? Commented [29]: "It's best for me" or just "I approach...
These are high mysteries . . . There is . . . no rule by which the young writer may shape his course. He
Commented [30]: Good call. I'll change it to "I ...
will often find himself steering by the stars that are disturbingly in motion.”
Commented [31]: I would suggest taking this sentence
...
When I joined the Professional Writing and Information Design (PWID) program, I assumed that by Commented [32]: Can I soften it? Can I say, "I don't ...
teaching us style and grammar rules, PWID would stifle the essential art of making a sentence into music. Commented [33]: This is a pretty long post, so I'm ...
You might assume that too. But while rules can’t explain why words strung together affect us, they can Commented [34]: I think it is necessary because I ...
describe what specific choices tend to affect us; it turns out that passive voice often adds out-of-place
Commented [35]: I understand that, but the contrast is...
beats to a sentence and that juxtaposing a short sentence with a long one surprises and delights the reader.
Commented [36]: How about "let me in on"
The more rigid grammatical and stylistic guideline I’ve learned in PWID, especially in classes like Style
and Mechanics, Editing, and Grammar, allow me to hear the music better and to catch interruptions to the Commented [37]: Sure.

melody that I used to miss. When it comes down to it, I can still play the words, andbut the rules and Commented [38]: How about "in the music"
Commented [39]: Sounds good.
editing strategies I’ve learned have helped me play them better than I ever have before. KAnd knowing Commented [40]: "fine-tuned my ear by suggesting
the rules helps me defend my edits objectively to the writer who may not hear the music yet. the arranging of words that others have noticed tend to
charm us most."

Sometimes the things we do in PWID appear grey and flat from the outside because we talk about them as Commented [41]: This is lovely, but really wordy. If
you can find a way to say it in half the length, I'd be
prescribed processes--strategizing web content, sending out surveys, editing professional work. This is the happy to change it.
only way we can talk about them because art resists prescription and explanation. But time after time I’ve Commented [42]: Wordy is never lovely! Um, "fine-
found that behind the heuristics and rules and step-by-steps, my projects in PWID are music, poetry, and tune my ear, suggesting practices others have noticed
art in the fullest senses. The major has given me ways to use and justify my fundamentally mysterious tend to charm us most."

expressions for the rational minds of the professional world. Commented [43]: How about "fine-tune my ear to
practices that tend to charm us most"
Commented [44]: Okay! Good idea.
Commented [45]: As this post is designed to advertise
what PWID teaches students, I suggest adding
something like the sentences I've shown. I want the
readers to see how PWID teaches you important skills
for the editing process. As is, this section mostly
focuses on how it helps you after you've already
finished editing. Can we add in some content to
discuss both the skills for editing and the skills for
working with the writer?